“Sister, are you sure you want to do this?”
“Why not? We’ve been observing them for a long time.”
“I’m afraid they could corrupt our beautiful world. We struggled so much to create this egalitarian society, to wipe out racism, poverty and slavery from it.”
“I know. They’re still immature, from this point of view. They fought many wars...”
“For no reason,” Luna cut her sister short. “We did as well, but we got results. We got peace. We had to pay a great price, though, but it was worth it. To me, they just fight for fun.”
They both stood silent for a while. Ponies can die, and ultimately forget about everything, even the most horrible memories. But they couldn’t, and the price of being immortal is not being able to die and forget horrible memories.
“Sister, we should at least try. I think we’re in debt with them. We borrowed and enjoyed their culture, we need to do something in exchange.”
The blue alicorn sighed. “Fine. But we’ll bring here just two people. No more than that. What if they attack us?”
“Come on, have some faith!”
Lifting a quill and a sheet of parchment, she started writing a letter to her pupil, informing her about the plan.
My faithful student Twilight Sparkle,
Recently, we took in serious consideration the opportunity to start closer interactions with the Humans. As you know, this is a race both capable of incredible cruelty and wonderful creations. I’m informed about the potential threats we could expose our homeland to, but I’m extremely intrigued by the possible results of this experiment. We’ve been observing them for a long time, and I think the time to meet them in person has come. Thus, we decided to teleport two exemplars to Equestria.
We already decided that the destination of the teleportation spell will be Ponyville, since it’s a small and peaceful rural town. They should feel at home there. I hope your friends may come and welcome them...
“Sister, why aren’t you using the royal ‘we’, the pluralis maiestatis? You’re a princess, the Royal Etiquette requires it.”
“Who needs that? I’m not speaking for my subjects, I’m speaking to them. And formal things... I’d like to...” Celestia put her mouth near her sister’s right ear, a smirk on her face, “Banish them on the moon!”
“Will you ever stop mentioning my banishment?” She angrily bursts.
She smiled. “Come on, I wasn’t being serious!”
An icy glare stopped her from saying anything else. She finished writing the letter, and then sent it to her pupil.
***
Two men were in a car, swerving through various obstacles, such as street lights, hobos and dumpsters, trying to escape from the police. The driver was me, Renato. The passenger, or more precisely, my unlucky best friend, known as Dorian and/or bro, was trying to shoot down the tires of the chasers.
“Got one out! Four left!”
I heard a loud screeching behind me, and then a crash.
“Ouchie, right against a wall!” Dorian snickered.
“Watch your head for bullets, bro. They don’t forgive.”
About fifteen minutes ago, we were robbing a grocery store. Yep, I know, it's not a great thing to accomplish, but we aren’t classy criminals. We steal to live, not to impress. The hit-n-run is our specialty, but sometimes we aren’t fast enough to run before some guy calls the police.
This time it was Dorian’s fault. He’s too kind hearted to live as a criminal, but he makes up for it being a master in planning attacks. I could stare at him for hours while he traces all kind of symbols and lines over the city’s maps, marks the possible escape routes, finds the fastest way to get to somewhere.
Anyway, as I was saying, it was his fault. When we attacked a store, generally each one controls one half of it. And by controlling I mean pointing a gun at whoever tries to move and/or call the police. While I was busy controlling my side of the building my friend, the genius, let one of the clerks call the police. I wanted to facepalm myself so hard right now. Too bad I was busy driving...
“Bro, do you have the money bag on you?” I was facing away from him.
“Sure.”
“Well, make sure no one calls the cops. If they try to do so, shoot them in a leg or something.”
“I think we have a problem, then...”
“What do you mean?” We both turned to face each other.
“There’s this guy who wanted to use the telephone. I threatened him not to, he replied ‘If you don’t want me to, shoot me then!’, you know I’d never do it...”
“...And he called 911 instead, right?”
He made an awkward smile.
“Aw, shit! Let’s run for the car!”
Seconds after, we heard the sound of police sirens, and here we are, trying to escape from them. I finally convinced Dorian to shoot down the tires, assuring that he wouldn’t kill anybody by doing it, he’d just slow down them.
***
The curtains in the throne room were lowered, and the princess was lying down on her throne, all curled up.
A unicorn with three scrolls stacked as a cutie mark entered into the room, and excitedly yelled the news. “Your highness! We have found the long range teleportation spell you requested!”
Celestia, half asleep, moaned from across the room. “Please, Dusty Scrolls, don’t disturb me while I’m napp- I mean, resting my royal eyes.”
He bowed down. “I’m sorry I interrupted your royal eye resting, my majesty.” The yelling had been reduced into a meek whisper.
She waved a hoof in the air, her eyes now open. “Don’t worry, it’s fine. I was just sleeping a little to be ready when the moment comed... What did you say about the spell? You found the scrolls?”
Dusty scrolls nodded.
The entire figure of the alicorn was literally shining in the partial obscurity of the room. Suddenly, the glow became more vivid, and the waving mass of multicolored hair started to quicken the pace of the movements.
“Do you know what?” Her eyes narrowed. “Let’s do it now!”
The unicorn blushed visibly, and Celestia snickered.
“I’m talking about the teleportation spell.”
Dusty Scrolls let out a sigh of relief.
“So, do you want me to keep waiting?” Celestia asked.
“No way, your majesty. I’ll go fetch the scrolls.”
***
My bro was obsessed with human life, and I can understand him. He would never shoot someone, let alone kill. I knew how he felt every time I had to. My hands were dirty with blood. Guilty blood.
He probably hated this side of me, the side that didn’t regret killing. But it was the side that protected both of us in this cruel world. I had to develop this hard shell.
“Two left!” He yelled.
“Get inside, I’m taking a small detour. Hold tight!”
I rotated the steering wheel to the left, driving the car inside a tight alley.
“Where do I have to go now?”
He checked the map, passing his finger over the colorful scribbles which covered it. “Exit from here, and drive towards the city market. Park the car near there, and we’ll blend in the crowd.”
***
Celestia stood in the Ponyville central plaza, and her sister stood next to her. She was about to give a speech to a huge crowd, all of the Ponyville’s population.
“Ponies.” She commenced, using the quieter version of the Royal Canterlot Voice, “Today it’s an incredibly important day for Equestria. We know about the existence of these beings called humans, and we borrowed many thing from their culture.”
As the ruler pronounced the word “humans”, a unicorn, Lyra, started to jump excitedly in the air with a overly-happy grin on her muzzle.
Bon Bon, the pony by her side angrily said “Lyra, calm down! We’re gonna put up a bad show to our princess!”
Lyra stopped jumping, but the grin remained.
The princess, after a dramatic pause, continued talking. “I think time has come to bring humans to our land.”
Lyra squealed, and fainted.
Bon Bon facehoofed.
“I don’t know how humans will react here. They are very unpredictable. Therefore, I’m asking everypony to lock themselves in a safe place, preferably their houses. Or in the old anti-Nightmare Moon bunker. But it’s old and rusty, the inside smells bad, and it’s small. Not the best choice.”
Luna shot her sister another icy glare. “Stop acting like so, it’s embarrassing as he-”
An hoof close shut her mouth. “No swearing, little sis.”
She turned back to the crowd. “As I was saying. Only those who wants to meet the humans can stay here.”
Bon Bon poked Lyra. “Come on, wake up!”
The little unicorn opened her eyes. “What have I missed?”
“Not much. They said whoever wants to meet the humans can stay here. Do you want to?”
Lyra squealed and fainted again. Bon Bon sighed in reply. “I’m taking that as a yes.”
“I’ll repeat what I said. Everypony else should barricade themselves in their homes.”
Bon Bon woke up Lyra again. “I’m sure you want to stay, and as your friend, I’m not gonna force you to come with me. I’m going to lock myself at home, like every other pony with a shard of brain left. Be careful.”
Lyra, who was shaking in excitement, casually waved a hoof in her direction. “Yeah, have fun. You don’t know what you’re going to miss though...” She squealed again.
After a few minutes, the plaza was almost empty from all the crowd. Only the princesses, the ponies that represented the Elements of Harmony, Lyra, and some other curious ponies remained.
***
We slipped out of the car, and sneaked inside the market. Trying to hide ourselves in the crowd was the easy part. Unfortunately, the police didn’t stop following us, and broke inside the supermarket.
They wanted to do things the big way... By that I mean yelling into megaphones and using shotguns instead of simple pistols. I mean, was it necessary?
Soon, the commotion degenerated into a gunfight. I don’t want to go into details, because standing behind a wall, and shooting a few bullets from time to time isn’t the most interesting thing to talk about.
We were basically trapped in a narrow corridor. Around us there were walls on three sides, no cops sneaking from behind, but only one way to get out. On the open side, our impracticable escape route, there was a counter, the only thing that protected us from their bullets.
“Bro, I think we’re screwed here. I can hold them back until I run out of bullets. And the only ammo I have on me is what I have inside my gun. Do you want to surrender? Maybe they’ll put us inside the same cell. Plus, prison's food is sure bad, but at least it’s free.”
“Damn it, is this the end?”
"I don't think telling them that we are criminals because we have to live is enough for them to let us free"
Tears welled up in his eyes. “It was all my fault. I shouldn’t have let that guy make the call. If I weren’t so weak, we wouldn’t have so many problems... I’m just extra weight for you.”
“Don’t you ever say that. It’s not my fault or your fault. We can only blame our society.”
***
The princess’s horn was wrapped inside a golden glow, which slowly became more intense. Sweat dripped from her face. The teleportation spell, used at such long ranges, was extremely complex, and required time to be prepared and executed. Even her, the most skilled and powerful being in Equestria, couldn’t control it well, and thus she couldn’t examine the subjects before the teleportation, nor pinpoint a precise position on Earth.
When the glow became a blinding light, her stressed face turned into a more relaxed one.
“As you asked, sister. I found exactly two of them. They’re on their way here.”
***
“We know where you’re hiding! We’ll count to three!” A hoarse voice cracked through the megaphone. “Surrender, and we will reduce the penalty. One!”
“Dorian, I...”
Between tears, he got a hold of himself. “We’re about to get screwed... Please, don’t tell me you love me.” He was able to jump between emotions like that.
“No man, I feel funny. Like, my right arm is tickling.”
“Wow, me too. I feel like my legs are numb”
“Two!”
“Maybe you feel like that when you know these are going to be the last moments you’ll be out of prison.”
He was right. We had been caught a few times before. Smaller crimes, a week, a month in prison, and we would be out. But in that period a nice bill passed. After the fifth time you’d been caught doing something wrong by the cops, prison became your new home. Unluckily, we already had four trips to the stunted version of a loft.
Dorian looked at me like he saw a ghost, his eyes were wide open, and he was trembling in fear. “Man, look at your arm!”
“My arm? What’s wrong with it?”
I looked at it, and my bro confirmed that what I saw was real. “It’s transparent!”
“Three!”
Everything blacked out.
***
“They should arrive in a few more seconds.”
Lyra fainted for the third time in less than half an hour. This time, the “thud” she made when she collided with the grassy floor was audible, and was noticed by Fluttershy. The pegasus stepped back and started fanning Lyra with her wings, a gentle smile on her face.
Many knew about the Lyra’s obsession with humans. It all started when Bon Bon brought her some sheet music.
“Here, you asked me to buy some sheet music for you to play with your harp, I got the first thing that caught my attention. It’s called “Let It” something.”
Lyra grabbed the paper. “It’s “Let It Be”. Who’s Paul McCartney? I never heard him before.”
“I don’t know... Let me think. Oh, yes, now I remember. I took it from the human section.”
“The human section?”
“Yes, that one. I wanted something particular for my friend.”
The existence of humans was of public domain in Equestria. Only thing, not many were interested in them.
Lyra started playing the tune on her harp. “I want to find more about them.”
“About who?”
Her eyes were gleaming. “Humans. Because they compose beautiful music.”
Bon Bon snickered. “Lyra, please...”
“Look, I’m serious!” She puffed her cheeks.
She slowly grew interested in humans, and looked for more human music to play. Then her playful interest turned into a slight form of obsession. She started reading books written by humans. The first one was Robinson Crusoe. Then, she craved for more, and slowly abandoned the Equestrian culture.
Twilight generously gave all the human-written books she had in her library to Lyra, since “They’re never borrowed by anypony, and I’ve read them all, multiple times.”
***
Two policemen slowly approached the counter, keeping their shotguns pointed at it, ready to shoot at the slightest noise. But they were extremely confused by the fact there was no trace of the two men.
They reported their discovery to the chief, which (not necessarily in this order) raged, sweared, insulted them, and ordered, yelling to keep searching.
***
My entire life flashed before me.
The day I met Dorian, he was all alone, in a dark alley.
“Mummy will come back,” He murmured. “She said she’ll be back.”
My dad shook his head. That day we saved a life, and got myself a bro. I had no mother. She left us, pretty much like Dorian’s mum did.
The day our daddy died, killed because he tried to save a woman from a rapist.
The day we decided we had no jobs, no experience, nothing. We just had ourselves, and what our dad taught us.
The same day, when we reluctantly decided to become criminals, not because we wanted to, but because we were forced to, if we wanted to live.
And today.
Then, I fell asleep. A sleepless dream. I lost cognition of time.
***
Fluttershy gently placed a hoof on Lyra’s cheek, and shook her lightly. “Wake up!”
The unicorn opened her eyes. “Uh, wh... HUMANS!”
She ran towards them so quickly, that she could have outrun a flying Rainbow Dash.
***
All of a sudden, I snapped out of the dream. I regained consciousness. My first thought was to check if Dorian was with me.
“Dorian, Bro!”
“Over here. I’m fine.”
“Do you know what happened?”
“No clue, man. We aren’t in that supermarket anymore”
I felt a new scent in the air, something that smelled like freshly cut flowers.
“What’s that smell?”
“It wouldn’t be fun if I told you, find it out by yourself! Open your eyes.”
I forgot to open them. Silly me. Knowing that Dorian was safe was the most important thing.
“Let’s see what you don’t want to tell me.”
I opened my eyes.
“WHAT THE F-”
“Don’t yell, bro! You startled these ponies!”
Ponies. At least, cartoonish version of ponies. All around me. A yellow... pegasus? Was snuggling itself in my bro’s arms. The curious thing that was it wasn’t making the noises you’d expect from a pony, rather it was talking in a weird language.
“Renato, she smells like flowers! And look at her, isn’t she adorable?”
“Her? How do you know it’s a she?”
He faked a cough. “Come on, she doesn't look like a male...”
“Oh, I see.”
Hee-hee... I must be dreaming. Remember what Inception taught you: if you don’t remember how you got in here, then you must be dreaming. So how did I get here? I was in a store, escaping from the police. Then, all of a sudden, blackness. And now these ponies... Maybe I fainted, scared by the fact that we were doomed. No, so I don’t remember how I got here, but I do remember what happened right before! Damn it...
“Awww, look at these blue eyes!”
But it’s unlikely that this is a lucid dream, since I most probably fainted, and fainting is different from sleeping. I am not sleeping right now... This is all real!
“Dorian...”
He looked at me. The pony was hugging him now, and he was caressing her mane. “Yep?”
“I think we aren’t dreaming. I think it’s all real.”
“Dream or not, I like this place, and these ponies! God, they’re cute. Too bad I can’t understand a thing of what they’re saying...”
“But you can understand this language, right?” Someone asked.
“Who said that?” I replied, with another question.
“Me, princess Celestia.” I turned around to see another pony, bigger than the others, who was wearing a huge tiara, a necklace, and some golden bands around her legs. I was sure of her gender because she had a feminine voice.
“WHAT THE F-”
Dorian and Celestia shook their heads.
“Please, no swearing. Even if these ponies can’t understand what you’re saying, my sister and I do,” she said.
My brain went in moderate panic mode. “Let’s wrap up your situation,” I thought.
1) It’s very unlikely that you’re dreaming.
2) In some way that you can’t remember, you ended up in a strange world filled with cartoonish ponies.
3) Your friend is hugging one of them.
4) What’s this thing on her flank? A tattoo with three butterflies? Kinky.
5) Why is the big pony staring at me? And why is she smiling? She’s amused by the fact that I’m confused? That makes me nervous. Please, stop it...
6) Wait a second. Every one of these ponies has these butt tattoos!
7) I think we got off track, let’s go back to the third point.
4b) This bigger pony calls herself a princess, and it seems she and her sister are the only ones we can talk to.
5b) Check if you still have your gun. You never know... Yep, you do.
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and counted to ten. “Princess Celestia, right?”
“Exactly. You can just call me Celestia if you want.”
“Let’s start with the most obvious of the questions. Where are we?”
“Well, I think I owe you some explanations.”
***
“So, you’re telling me we aren’t on Earth anymore, and we are in Equestria, a pony-populated land, because you wanted to bring some humans here?”
“If you want to put it that way, yes.”
I looked around me. The ponies were visibly interested in us. One of them, with a lavender coat, was scribbling with a quill on a piece of paper. Another one, a mint colored one, was staring at my hands, following every movement of them and excitedly hopping in place.
“Well, let me tell you tell you one thing. I don’t like this place, and I like you ponies even less.”
Celestia’s face darkened. “I...”
“Don’t interrupt me, I don’t even know if you’re real or a product of my imagination. As I was saying, I don’t like being brought to another place against my will.”
“I’m sorry about that,” Celestia replied.
“I don’t know what to do with your apologies. I’ll count to three. If we aren’t back on Earth by the time I say three, someone will get hurt. One.”
I raised my arm with the pistol towards the yellow pony, which was still between Dorian’s arms.
Dorian looked at me, and his face whitened. “Renato, what do you want to do?”
The two sisters looked at me in confusion.
“Man, they brought you there against your will. Plus, you don’t know what they want to do with us. What if we’re going to end up like lab rats? Two.”
“Please, don’t.”
“Think of them as hostages.”
Celestia and the other ponies stared at me, confused by the object I was holding in my hand. I looked back at her, losing my bro from the field of vision.
“Too late, dear princess of my ass. Three.”
I pulled the trigger.
The bullet flew in the air, but didn’t hit the intended target. Dorian collapsed to the ground. A cry of pain lacerated his friend’s ears. The two princesses gasped, and looked at the scene with their mouths agape. Fluttershy jumped away from his arms, a stain of blood on her. She came closer the still body of the injured man, which was breathing and groaning. Dorian smiled at her.
“I think turning at the last second to protect you from the bullet was worth it... Please, forgive my friend.”
He dropped lifeless to the ground. The pink-maned earth pony burst in tears, and ran away. Her friends tried to stop her, but simply calling her name wasn’t enough. Rainbow Dash flew after her.
I fell down to the ground. I was so blinded by fear I inadvertently shot my friend.
“It was your goddamn fault!” I yelled to them. “If you brought us back when I asked it, this would never happen.”
As I was yelling, the remaining ponies cautiously backed away at my shout. The princess and her sister, instead, remained in place. I was sure they were scared as well, only they didn’t want to show it. One thing crossed my mind, why didn’t she react? I’m attacking her subjects after all.
Suddenly, my fear was replaced with desire for vengeance.
“You’re going to pay for this.”
I gripped the handle of my gun harder than usual, and carefully took aim. Two shots after, I made an new hole in a pink earth pony, and shattered the horn of a mint-colored unicorn into pieces. Their screams of pain filled my heart with joy, and made me smile.
Celestia, visibly shaken, kept looking at me, at my devilish grin. All it took to scare the almighty ruler of this world was a gun and attacking their subjects?
Suddenly, I realized that my act of violence, my partial vengeance didn’t satisfy me. I needed something else. “Fuck all of this...”
I raised the gun to my head, opened my mouth, and slid it in the opening. When I was about to press the trigger, I felt an external force pull the gun away from me. All of a sudden, I blacked out again.
***
An feminine voice woke me up.
“Human!”, she called.
As I came to my senses and examined my surroundings, I noticed I were in a small cell. Thick bars prevented me from escaping, and the only source of light was a small window. I noticed a stash of hay lying against the wall across from me, which probably served as a bed... and food too. A heavy scent of mold filled, or more precisely, intoxicated the air.
Then, I turned towards the source of the voice, and spoke. ”Look who we have here! Who brought me here, who made me kill my friend, and who doesn’t want me to suicide. Princess Celestia, am I right?”
“Yes, you’re right about my name, but not about the first thing you mentioned. I didn’t make you kill your friend.”
“If you never brought me here...” I teased her.
“If you never used that tool...” She lashed me back.
“Tool? You don’t know what guns are?”
“We’re interested only in human creation that can’t physically or psychologically harm.”
“Something doesn’t quite fit. The way you put it, it seems like you know we have tools to do harm. Why didn’t you stop me from attacking your subjects the moment I drew the gun out?”
She lowered her head. “For a moment I had faith in the fact you wouldn’t be able to use that weapon to do harm. But I was terribly wrong. I failed my main duty, protecting my subjects.”
By the way she talked, I understood she loved her subjects more than anything else. She practically was a mother to them.
“No, it was my fault in the first place. I had no reason to start shooting your race, least of all my friend. I was scared of the new and unexpected situation, and behaved like a scared animal. They... Attack without thinking.”
Her ears perked up.
“And I think the same happened to you. You were scared of me, and fear prevented you from reacting. I’m really sorry for what I did to your subjects.”
“I feel that your repentance is sincere. I do forgive you. I’m sure my little ponies will do the same.”
What? She forgave me? I couldn’t believe her words. But why put emphasis on the words “my little ponies”?
Her horn glowed, and the bars that were keeping me locked in place disappeared. “I’m sorry I had to put you in this cell. I didn’t want you to escape, I first had to understand your true intentions, and to ask your forgiveness for teleporting you here against your will. If you want, I can send you back anytime you want.”
Back to my home? Back to the filth? Back to being a criminal to live? Back to violence? Back to humans?
“I don’t want to go home. I think this place is better. You... Respect other people, no matter how different they are. On Earth, we can’t tolerate even skin differences. I assume all the ponies follow their leader’s example, right?”
“Sadly, not really. Our world isn’t perfect either.”
“Still better than ours.”
She smiled. Seeing her motherly figure sitting on her haunches, with a waving mass of floating and multicolored hair unlocked something deep inside my mind.
“Can...”
“Yes?” She asked.
“Can I get a hug?” I blushed at the absurdity of the request.
She assumed a thoughtful expression. “Well, let me see... Now that I think about it, I rarely give hugs. I’ll do it... But only if you give me an ear scratch with these hands of yours.”
What amazed me was the fact that she replied to my absurd request with another one that was even more ridiculous. I approached her, and she lowered her head. I placed my fingers on her fur coating, which felt like velvet. I slowly dragged the hands up to the base of her ears, and started scratching them.
She moaned in delight, her eyes closed, and spread her wings. “Aahh, yes... I like it... More...” Using one, she dragged me closer. “It feels so good... I love these hands... I wonder what else you can do with them...”
I flushed beyond human imagination. Was she trying to hit on me? I stopped the scratching.
“Why have you stopped? And why are you so red? Something’s wrong?” She opened her eyes and shot me a disappointed look.
“You... Erm...”
She snickered, and poked me with a hoof. “I was just messing around with you! I know how much human are susceptible to these things... No hard feelings, right?”
“Right...”
“Now, if you really want that hug, you’ll have to earn it. Keep on scratching...”
Minutes seemed to last an eternity. After a while, she finally stopped her moaning. “I think can be enough. Now, for your hug... I’m sorry, but I have to go away. Royal duties await. Don’t worry, though. I’ll return in a while, I’m sure you’ll be in good company. Just wait for my return...”
She went away. I heard the echo of a greeting, probably in their pony language, and hoofsteps. Then, another girlish giggle.
Seconds after, there were two ponies looking at me. Both of them were smiling. I instantly recognized them. The yellow pegasus had a stain of blood on her, and a bandage covered part of a leg of the hobbling pink pony.
Their gaze wasn’t filled with hate, or desire for vengeance. Instead, they were simply standing there. Why? I injured them, I shot them. Shouldn’t they hate me or something? At least, that’s what a human would do. But then I realized that these ponies were better than us...
The pink one opened a bag which was dangling by her side, and using her mouth, took out of it a cardboard box with the stylized picture of a cake on it, and poked my hand with it. Soon, the disgusting smell of mold was replaced with the sweet smell of baked sweets. I opened the box, and got rewarded with an even more intense scent, and the sight of the most tempting cupcakes I had ever seen.
I carefully closed it, and handed it back. I couldn’t accept them. The yellow pony lifted a trembling foreleg and placed her hoof on the box, pushing it back. I was confused. Was that box, were this cupcakes really for me? I pointed a finger towards me, and they nodded.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I placed the box on the hay stash, took two cupcakes from it, and offered them to the two ponies. They accepted my offer, and started eating the sweets. The pink one ate it in a single bite, I doubt she chewed before swallowing. The yellow pegasus, instead, was hesitant at first. Probably, she was still scared by me. But then, after she took a few steps, she finally understood I didn’t want to hurt her. She eventually took a small bite, and then happily continued eating the cupcake in my hand using more small bites.
After they finished, the pink one almost naturally positioned herself up on her hind legs, and waved her her forelegs at me. I understood what she wanted, and I reached out to hug her. She felt like a warm and fluffy marshmallow. The yellow pony simply smiled at me. Now I understand why Dorian said they were adorable. Dorian...
After the hug, they waved an hoof at me, and went away.
I shot them, and they weren’t mad at me. On the contrary, they even brought some baked sweets. They were offering a gift to a potential enemy. I didn’t make a good show of myself out there, killing your friend and shooting at some ponies. They should fear me.
But who would come and visit their own aggressor? And even bring him sweets? I’m pretty sure they don’t fear me... Maybe...
What if they forgave me?
I can’t ask them, though. Damn linguistic differences. I’ll stay with the doubt in mind until the only other being that can speak my language will decide to visit me. No, wait. She said her sister too can speak English. Well, the chances of talking are doubled. Damn, let’s try to be optimistic!
After a while, I heard more hoofsteps and another feminine voice echo inside the room. It was different than Celestia’s though. This time, it belonged to a mint-colored unicorn. After the pony reached my cell, she looked inside. I was surprised by the fact that she knew English.
“Hi!” She greeted me. “My name’s Lyra Heartstrings. What’s yours?”
She was extremely excited, and kept hopping in place.
Wait a second... Isn’t she the unicorn who I shot during my rage burst?
“Name’s Renato. I don’t want to be rude, but aren’t you the pony I...”
“...Brutally shot? Yes, Renato, you’re right.”
“Aren’t you afraid of...”
“You? No, silly! I know that bringing you here all of a sudden would have scared most of the humans. Only thing, we didn’t know you were armed with guns. Otherwise, we’d have prepared ourselves better.”
“I... am terribly sorry for what I did to you.”
“Aw, don’t worry. What you did belongs to the past now. There’d be no point in nursing a grudge against you. Let’s enjoy the present until we can!”
“Right.”
“Can I see your hands?” She asked.
“My hands? Why? Is there something wrong with them?”
She shot me a puppy eyes look with her golden eyes. “I want to see them...”
“Why?”
“Pwease...”
Did she actually said “Pwease”? Aaaww...
I couldn’t resist to her cuteness. “Come here, have a seat next to me.” I patted on the hay stash. She walked up to me, and sat down on her haunches. Lifting my hands, and holding them over her hooves, she started examining them.
“They’re so cute and warm... You must be able to do a lot of things with them, especially with your fingers.” As she said so, she was nuzzling against them. “They feel so nice, way better than these hard hooves of ours.”
“I... Um...” I had to find something to escape from this awkward situation... A pony who got interested in my hands? The only option I had was to offer her a cupcake. I didn’t know how she’d react. But it was still better than keeping this conversation about my hands going. “Erm, miss Heartstrings, would you like a cupcake?”
She stopped her nuzzling and looked at me. “Why, do you have some? And please, call me Lyra.”
“Yep, Lyra, two ponies brought me some.” I gave her one, and got surprised by the fact she performed some kind of magic with her horn to make it levitate in front of her mouth.
“Usually the stallions in Ponyville aren’t that generous and kind... Let me guess, one of them was pink, right?”
“And the other one was a yellow pegasus.”
“I know them. Their names translate to English as Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy.”
“I must say their names are appropriate. What about you?”
“I like to play my harp.”
“So, you’re a musician.” My eyes widened. “What kind of music do you enjoy playing?”
“I prefer human music, mostly the entire classical genre, and new classical music. I can play something, if you want. I can bring my harp here.”
“How?” I asked, intrigued.
“The same way you were brought here, only on a smaller scale.”
Her horn glowed, and a few seconds later an harp materialized before me in a flash of light.
“Wait a second, I broke your horn, how come you can still use it?”
“They’re easy to fix. Any unicorn knows that healing spell.”
“Another small question... How are you’re going to play it? It’s not like you have fingers.”
“That’s not a problem, my horn will be my hands.”
In that moment, I understood that unicorns and their magic were the duct tape of that world.
“I’d love to listen to something.”
“Here’s a piece I’ve been practicing for a while, ‘Dream is Collapsing’, by Hans Zimmer”
She grabbed her harp, and started playing. She got all the chords, every single line of the original track. She managed to play everything by herself, even the long notes. But the thing that amazed me the most was the fact that using her instrument only, she even emulated the sound of cellos and violins. It was like listening to the actual soundtrack, but with the difference that it was played in front of me, by a single pony, with an harp. When the last note arrived, she placed the instrument back on the stone floor.
“Did you like it?”
“A lot. Do you know ‘Time’?”
“I have the sheet music, but I’ve never played it before...”
“It doesn’t matter.”
A wide smile appeared on her face, and she started plucking the strings again, playing a well-known tune to me. “Do you know this song?” She said, while she moved a foreleg in a way that couldn’t be mistaken. She raised her head, and even started singing.
“And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying in bed, Just to get it all out
What's in my head”
“And I,”
She thrashed her head back,
“I am feeling”
Lyra rotated her head to her right two times, and then put it back to the initial position.
“a little peculiar.”
She did that movement with her foreleg again, six times.
“And so I wake in the morning, and I step outside”
The unicorn walked to the right wall of the cell.
“And I take a deep breath and I get real high”
She raised and lowered her right foreleg four times,
“And I,”
Lyra made a small hop,
“Scream from the top of my lungs,”
She raised her head,
“What's going on?”
And then she bobbed it up and down.
After she literally screamed “What’s going on” she stopped. I wiped away tears from my eyes, because I had been laughing the entire time, thinking about that video with He-Man singing and dancing to that song. “Yes, I know it. But... How it’s possible you know that song?”
“Once Twilight asked m-”
“Wait, who’s Twilight?”
“A lavender unicorn, you should have seen her before in the main plaza.”
I nodded.
“Well, as I was saying, she asked me to get her a book from the Canterlot bibliotheque.”
“What’s Canterlot?”
“Our version of Rome.”
“Why are you talking about human cities? How do you know about their existence? Why did you mention Rome?”
“I know about their existence because I’m interested in the human culture, you silly! I mentioned Rome because of the Latin saying Roma caput mundi.”
I sighed. “What the hell Roma caput mundi means?”
“Rome, capital of the world. It defines well the purpose of Canterlot, because it’s the capital of our world, Equestria.”
“Oh, now I understand. You were saying something about a library, right?”
“Before you cut me short. I was here to get a book, and while I was searching, I heard laughter from the projector room. A sign hung next the entrance read “Human memes projection”. Intrigued, I got inside, and watched this video of that blonde guy dancing and singing to this music, with a ridiculously high-pitched voice. Many ponies asked the video to be projected again, multiple times, and so I had the chance to memorize both the movements and the music.”
“Heh, He-Man. I remember him...” I drifted back to childhood memories, when we lived in my dad’s house with Dorian. We used to watch reruns of 80’s cartoons either on TV or VHS tapes. All of a sudden a thought crossed my mind. “You ponies remind me of something... Something that has to do with Dorian, and old 80’s cartoons...” I snapped my fingers. “My Little Pony, it all adds up!”
The unicorn looked at me in confusion. “Why you called me so, is that a compliment?”
“No, Lyra, it’s a TV show my friend used to watch. He loved it, to the point he knew everything about each pony... I think one day, out of boredom, I watched an episode with him. And some ponies vaguely resemble you. Also, he told me that three kinds of ponies existed: earth ponies, pegasi and unicorns... He always wanted to meet you, this would explain the fact he didn’t try to attack them, as I did. He was sure you were peaceful.”
Lyra blessed me with the best “You don’t say?” expression had ever seen.
“Also, lately he showed me pictures of ponies which looked much more like you... Including that princess. He said that a My Little Pony reboot would have premiered on the 10th of October. That day is about a month away.”
She flinched, but then shook her head, and murmured something about Celestia.
“That doesn’t make much sense. You’re something that we created... Why do you exist? This would mean the dream is created from memories!”
All of a sudden Lyra violently pushed me backwards, pressing her hooves against my chest. As I felt my body falling backwards, I let out a shriek. Fortunately, I landed on my back on the hay stash. “What the... Why would you do that?”
“You aren’t dreaming.”
“What the hell are you talk-”
“Have you ever had a nightmare where you fell off something, and felt the freefall sensation?”
“Yes, I have.”
“And what happened afterwards?”
I smiled. “I see what you did there... Inception?”
“Exactly.”
“I knew it! What if I’m still dreaming, and you’re just part of the dream? If I know something, you, as a simple image generated by my brain, can know it as well. This applies to the music you played before, to the kick concept in Inception...”
“Think about it for a second, when I tried to kick you out of the hypothetical dream, by making you fall without notice, you didn’t woke up! This means you aren’t dreaming.”
“What if I didn’t woke up on purpose, just to keep me dreaming? What if I subconsciously like this dream too much to wake up?”
Lyra shot me a serious glare. “Does it really matter if that’s a dream? For all we know, our entire life may just be a dream... Everyone we know and love, just people to fill our dream. The dreams we experience while sleeping, well, they’re a level below reality, and such are more unstable. When we die, we leave this body, we leave the dream we call reality...”
“I never thought about this... And I’ve gotta say it’s sounds pretty cool. I wonder what could happen after death.”
She stared at me. “Meh, I’m more interested in the present time. Carpe diem, Seize the day!”
“This discussion is getting too serious.”
“Yea, I think so.”
“You know what? Dream or not, I’m starting to like this place, and you ponies as well. I don’t really want to go back to the Earth, I’d like to stay here. You ponies are way more forgiving and caring than us humans.”
“It’s not completely true, we have our uncaring monsters too... Like the ponies who take fun at Derpy’s eye condition.”
“Who’s Derpy?”
“She’s a poor wall-eyed pegasus which many love to offend. Maybe one day you’ll meet her, and you’ll know what I mean...”
I saw her golden eyes fill with sadness, and decided to change the topic of the discussion again. ”As I was saying, I want to stay here.”
She brightened up. “That means you don’t want to go back?”
“For the moment, no.”
She jumped and wrapped her forelegs around me. “I’ve always wanted to meet a human, and you’re even going to stay!”
I hugged her back. “I’m starting to like all this affection towards me. And I have to admit I like your scent of mint.”
After a few seconds, she broke the hug. “I’m terribly sorry. I almost forgot I have to get back to home, Bon Bon will be worried.”
“Who’s Bon Bon?”
“The best friend I could ask for... She even lets me live in her house.”
“Now that I think about it... If I’m going to stay here, I don’t have a house. This sucks.”
“I’d love to let you stay at our place, but we don’t have much space.”
“Let me think... Do you have a bridge?” I chuckled.
“Yes, we have one, but why are you asking?”
“On Earth, the homeless people homeless lives under bridges...”
“Are you serious? It must be horrible... It’s all wet and dirty down the bridge. I’ll never let that happen. I’ll find you a true house, should I lose mine!”
“That won’t be necessary,” a voice which I knew well reached us.
Author's notes:
If you spot any inconsistency, or grammatical error, or something that simply doesn't feel right, point it out. Constructive criticism is more than well-accepted. I know that there are many parts that need to be italicized, but I won't fix them (at least not now), because I'm a lazy person.
I'm already working on Chapter 2. Probably I'll write some posts on my blog, probably not. :)
