The Memoir

by Xinamar

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, Human, Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Other, Princess Luna, Original Character, Science Fiction
Length: 12273

Utility: The ethical system in which good and moral action is proportionate to the happiness of all affected. This is a story of that belief, science, magic, and a single man turned into so much more than human. How will Eques and Harmony react?

This Memoir is necessary for the plain and simple fact that I do not know whether or not I have mere moments left on this planet of if I'm destined to remain here for centuries to come. I cannot in all my knowledge predict how long my life will be now that I reside on Eques. However, I do know I am dying. Slowly I age, but not as quickly as I would back Home. Personally, I blame the effects magic has had on my anatomy and overall biology. Even after all these effects I cannot help but still refer to myself as Human; however, looking at my current flesh would suggest otherwise. I still retain the characteristics of a human. A complex biped animal with hands, a very human-like movement, and body language, but magic has changed me to something very much beyond traditional humanity.

- Hope. 1.0 - Author's Note: The Memoir. New Hope: Tranquil Dusk School of Core Knowledge Press, 256 AD. Print.

***

Plot Triggers: Alicorn OC, Power Fantasy Elements, Narrator my be Unreliable, Misleading, Incorrect Ethics Talk

Published 2017-04-27 21:50:11 UTC
Last updated 2018-11-15 06:04:52 UTC

1 - Author's Note; Sciences, Utility, and our Beginnings; First Confession of Sin [Editted]

1.00 - Author’s Note

This Memoir is necessary for the plain and simple fact that I do not know whether or not I have mere moments left on this planet of if I'm destined to remain here for centuries to come. I cannot in all my knowledge predict how long my life will be now that I reside on Eques. However, I do know I am dying. Slowly I age, but not as quickly as I would back Home. Personally, I blame the effects magic has had on my anatomy and overall biology. Even after all these effects I cannot help but still refer to myself as Human; however, looking at my current flesh would suggest otherwise. I still retain the characteristics of a human. A complex biped animal with hands, very human-like movement, and body language, but magic has changed me to something very much beyond traditional humanity.

Fatigue and memory are no longer a problem. Magical energies having replaced most normally metabolic processes. My mind no longer uses faint electrical signals but instead uses the limitless power of all present ambient magic to help with recollection and knowledge. One thing I have noticed, though, is that my logic and understanding still seem to be fairly human. As evident from my life’s experiences, which has proven that I can still more than error in the face of critical problems that are beyond the simple act of simply “copy and pasting’ memorized information.

Now for my appearance, my body is no longer only covered with a fragile layer of tan skin but also a thin veil of brown fur. Each shoulder blade seems to possess a wing, each spanning the length of two grown stallions. My forehead also contains a horn of some kind that is at least a third of a meter in length. The strangest part, personally, is now at the end of my legs, where my feet should be, there are hooves. Injury has been near impossible to inflict upon this new body. My new fur covered skin seems resistant to any form of kinetic weapon; my bones, after some altering, can bend at impossible angles if under enough stress. Sickness can still get to me though, that and poison, a funny story for another time. But to conclude about this new body, I can suppose that the weaknesses of being flesh are still apparent once you get under my skin. Is that a pun, maybe?

Another prominent fact about this body is I still need food and water to survive, grow, or repair myself if damage is sustained. And... I still age. I guess time has granted me the pleasure of a mortal life. As much as I feel that I can do so much more if I had the time, I wouldn’t trust myself with eternity. As soon as I gained consciousness on Eques, time felt like it had lost some inherent value. To put it bluntly, if I had eternity, time would be worthless to me. I wouldn't feel much need to do anything. Why bother really if I have forever and anything I create would vanish before I would. It's a depressing thought. One I am lucky enough not to have to live through. Now to counter this string of depressing thoughts, certain individuals and the City-State has kept my personal value of time pretty consistent throughout my time on Eques. And even better I am mortal and after I leave the flesh, I wouldn’t mind having a legacy. As was sung many years ago on a planet far, far away, “Legacy. What is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see. I wrote some notes at the beginning of a song someone will sing for me.” I wouldn’t mind a song sung for me after I’m gone or a magnificent garden only our children’s children get to see.

But beyond all these abstract reasons, I guess I am truly writing this for the future of the aforementioned City-State. I hope I did enough to guarantee a prosperous future once I’m gone. After I leave the flesh, all they’ll have is whatever I managed to get onto paper, into their minds, and this Memoir. I hope I taught them enough to keep them competitive on the international landscape, enough for them to show humility and modesty to all, and hopefully, if nothing else, I taught them enough to maintain Utility for all in our great state and to our allies. Hopefully, I just did enough you know.

Anyway this will not be like any of the textbooks I’ve written. This will be a mere recollection of thoughts, ideas, sciences, and anything else I can recall “properly”, as properly as flesh will allow, that will be helpful for the State and our loyal allies. And if any Equestrian historians are reading this: Welcome to The Memoir and as always, Humble be our State and Utility for all… Harmony be damned. Also kisses to Celestia.

1.01 – Sciences, Utility, and our Beginnings

To open this, what is essentially a journal, I have a simple message Our future is in science. Use it with magic to accomplish what was imagined as impossible here and back at my Home. Personally, I will always have a bias towards biology but all sciences are more than respectable. Through science our State has had its beginnings, a small farm that can out produce all neighbors in our homeland, the Tundra. A summary of how this was accomplished starts as follows: First, I established what mosses prepped the soil for any local small grasses. The grasses then allowed for larger plants to grow, though these new plants tended to be very water dependent. These plants then finally stabilized the soil for trees and crops. And through tinkering I have made many new species of crops that are easy to grow once this level of stability has been achieved. I wrote more down about this genetic manipulation in “Trial and Error: Magic and Gene expression and Inheritance”. At Home genetically modified crops were controversial but we need them in order to survive on this land, so I'll leave those arguments for future generations and if nothing else I can just label it Magic and most inhabitants of Eques will be fine with it. But anyway back to our beginnings. The farm I called New Home eventually grew into a village as I allowed others to work the land. Somehow, it was always the hungry and sick that found us. Which happened to be many earth ponies, griffs, and their offspring. I surrender to the fact that many is a relative term but it was “many” at the time. Anyway, we had a steady food supply and water was abundant even though precipitation was uncommon. Just a characteristic of a tundra I suppose, any water managed to stick around due to low to no evaporation of all current water stores.

We grew whatever managed to survive in the very beginning but once I acquired more spare time I worked on very early forms of Stink Bud and Evergreen Trees as my first projects to help the locals improve their quality of life. Stink Bud is a large leafy plant that stores energy in its leaves and potato like buds with a fatty center and strong protein/carb seed. Smelled like death though and I couldn’t breed any successful variant without the smell. The smell, in a personal theory of mine, helped with pollination since the only local insects were decomposers of many forms. After what can hardly be described as science and more note taking with a hint of dumb luck, I managed to establish a base metabolism in the plant that allowed it to be very thermoregulatory. This allowed for year round planting and harvesting of the smelly bud. The major flaw of this super food is that it destroys the nutrient value of any soil its planted in. In modern times, this problem has been solved with imports of soil, organic matter, and such from our allies and neighbors, but crop rotation was key very early on. We had to use mosses, some low growing plants, and lots of dead animals to repletion the fields. Hard to explain to my farmhands with the language barrier but I managed. They kept questioning to a minimum if they were fed.

Now, Evergreens were suppose to be just a knockoff of those local to my home, nothing impressive. However, due to mishaps and attempting to start a new species of tree from some water hungry shrubs it took a while but I managed it. For the sake of optimal growth I kept evergreen development on an entirely different plot as I bred them to reach maturity in less than one winter to winter cycle. As a fair warning to those whom illegally export these trees to our neighbors, if these Trees ever got loose onto the world, entire ecosystems would be destroyed. I personally built these monsters to be Evergreen. Nothing can out compete these trees in nutrient draw and efficiency. They live for hundreds of years growing until death. The only competition to an Evergreen tree is another Evergreen. One cannot even kill them with infection anymore. Got some crazy antibiotics produced in their bark. They are the epitome of survival in all habitats and my proudest creation. Resistant to drought, cold, heat, disease. A wild forest of Evergreens would just about kill an entire nation in about a year, then they themselves would die out from malnutrition.

Anyway the purpose of breeding these monsters was for the easy access to lumber it would create and I more than succeeded. As we grew small forests in a season our need for wood diminished. And through careful planning we managed to maintain control of the Evergreen Fields, always made sure to burn away any unused seeds we found mostly. So, as a result of my tinkering of plant flesh and speeding evolution with my new Magics, in less than a generation our housing went from mud and fibers to homes of wood and stone with most still using mud as a kind of insulator and cement. In my own situation, I was still as uncomfortable as all hell but my Fellows were happy and comfortable. They had food and a strong roof over their heads which was more than they had when they found me.

Eventually my Fellows had children and they allowed me to raise them alongside their own parents. “Takes a village” and all that, just another saying from Home. Anyway this was the first generation that I taught. I wanted to show them so much but I had to deal with survival first. And before all else communication is key to survival. I taught them to speak my native tongue as their parents taught them theirs. What came to be can really be described as Spanglish, a combination of two languages that the user switches between mid-statement whenever it was most comfortable. I didn’t care how broken it was, I was just overjoyed that I was able to speak to another rational being again. This was also the first generation that I received any form of thanks from. It was odd to say the least but it was appreciated. According to the children, this came to be because many of the parents were frustrated that they couldn’t speak to me personally and give thanks for the help I’ve given them. So they had their children do it.

Immediately after receiving their thanks, I found myself thrust into a rather unique position. I could start a tradition of a sort, establish an ideal to live by. So with my mind set on what I wanted I replied, “I don’t need thanks, it is our duty to supply happiness for all we can.” I don’t know if it translated well but it stuck. Kind of a mantra of the State at this point. However, I’m not going to lie, gratitude for what I felt was right and natural was a joyous experience. So I made sure I helped all that came to the village.

Time passed, to be vaguely more specific it was about the time most of the grandkids had kids of there own, our population more than quadrupled. Food was in surplus, water was still plentiful, the cold was awful but we managed, and the Stink Bud kept any ill-intentioned predators and persons away. We were having a grand time, not a golden age by any means but life was good. This was the point that I first opened my school. We needed writing, logic, math, and more importantly proper science. I had taught them everything I could before the establishment of Our first school but I never explained why anything I proposed worked or how. I just gave them the applications of what I knew and not what I truly knew. I was a prophet of far beyond knowledge and magic to them. Most of my Fellows believed that whatever I did worked by the grace of me saying it would. I couldn’t allow this for any more generations. In reality, things worked because of trial and error, experimentation, and the grace of Mother Nature’s rules. And this is what I taught at my school. Just like my Home, I mandated attendance to all children below the age of 18, to the dismay of many parents; however, wisdom is much more important than what a child can accomplish with a day of labor.

So this began a new age for Our little State. Literacy had become commonplace, those that were not farmers or tradesman were merchants, map makers, artists, mathematicians, architects and engineers. Things I associated with a proper society started to spring up. It was quite the experience to witness and all I did was open a school and teach whatever I could. When my school first started, I wish I could say I was a perfect teacher but I don’t think I was. You can't remember something you were never taught yourself. So all I gave my Fellows were the tools to follow in humanities old footsteps and they did not disappoint.

Anyway, early on in Our school's history I gained an academic peer who’d teach with me. Her name was Silent Night, a dark coated unicorn mare with violet eyes and a black mane from the broken lands of the ponies. I call her a peer, due to the fact that as I taught her the local tongue, math, farming, and anything else she’d absorb, she taught me the basics of magical theory, the unicorn tongue, and a few other useful tidbits and folklore. It was nice. She was actually my first student of Utility, a set of ethics and philosophical thought. There wasn’t any arguments or critiques of the old school of ethics but she did take it all in and discuss the purpose of happiness for all with me. It was nice...

Thinking about it, I find any memories of my, Silent Night, to always be pleasant even if they are somber most of the time. Rose tinted if you will. But to make something very clear my Night was not this otherworldly beauty or divine and holy saint as modern depictions like to make her out to be. She was... simple, real, and flawed. Maybe as broken as they came back then. A withered soul wandering the frozen wastes until she came upon a foul smelling town of a couple hundred. Oddly enough I was actually the first soul in town to notice this newcomer. I was out with a class at the time, explaining one such thing or another. As soon as I saw her I ended class for the day and walked up to the husk. A unicorn somehow managed to find Our little town and she looked as though the next few steps would kill her. So I lifted her into my arms and took her to my New Home. She didn't struggle or resist. Honestly, I couldn't tell you what she was thinking at the time but hopefully it was thoughts of relief and not fear. Anyway, from that moment on I helped her with her recovery as best as I could.

It wasn't easy. We had to rebuild her in both body and mind. The body was easy. Simple meals, proper hydration, and comfortable living conditions can do wonders. She looked like a pony in about a week and a half. Now her mind, I am not a doctor and will never claim to be but something was consuming my Night's every waking moment with this constant dread. Personally, I can survive entire weeks without sleep, so I admit to watching Silent Night as she lay in bed. It was never a peaceful experience. Many times she awoke screaming. Filling the entire house with screeches of pure terror. I... I didn't know how to help. I know how some past experiences may be haunting but all I knew was to be "strong". Whatever that entailed. So I ask, what could I tell her to sate her terrors? How could I even convey them without knowing her language? I didn't know any of these answers so I just did the only thing I knew. I sat down and did my best to learn from her. I had a conversational understanding of her language within a few weeks she'd been with me. After that I started to teach her, sometimes even assigning her some simple and repetitive tasks to keep her mind occupied. It didn't resolve her issues but it helped. It gave her time to think about her past and reflect. I taught her of Utility, Flesh, Sin, anything I could think of. I even dabbled into some existential ideas and the uncaring nature of the Universe but she always interrupted me whenever I approached the topic. So I went to the ideal I personally preferred. Utilitarianism. I know I don't express the purest form of the ethical code and I realize its weaknesses but it is a comforting ideal. Happiness to all we can, a flawed summary of the ideal but gets the point across. This is what my Night stuck to and tried to realize. I gave her a reason to live and to be "strong". My Night lived for an Ideal.

We lived together for a few years before things became romantic. And even if this is a record of my life, I'll keep that story for myself. No one needs to know that side of me unless I show it to them personally. One thing I can say is we did have children. Four to be exact, one son and three daughters. I personally wished they were formed more like myself but genetics had other ideas. They were perfectly normal ponies. They either had a horn, wings, or neither, not all three at once. They were also quadruped. I couldn’t understand it and still don’t, but the things I recognize as human just don't pass to any of my offspring. I will be the first and last of my kind on this giant rock.

I wish I could remember the names of my first children but even with a limitless mind, it’s hard to filter through that many links of memories to remind myself of something so specific and unpracticed like my first children’s names. I do know that all of them were named after the night in one way or another. There coats were dark like their mothers but their eyes varied in brightness and color. Wish I knew more but my memories of them are so unpracticed that I am shocked I can recall all this.

Anyway, I should probably explain Utility as it has played an important role in our State. Utilitarianism, or our State variant, is the happiness of all. It is our life’s purpose and ethical code to pursue happiness, which translates into the pursuit of pleasure. However, that is not what utility stands for, utility is based on the Ultimate Happiness Principle, the idea that utility and morality is measured in the happiness of all affected not just yourself. Happiness gained by the suffering of others is the ultimate sin against our school of ethics. Ones actions must improve the happiness of all those affected in order for it to be good. One’s own suffering, if it leads to greater happiness later on, is the ultimate ethical action especially if it improves the happiness of the state. Pilgrimage I call it, the journey lined with suffering to gain a truer happiness. Sounds like college from where I’m from but I’m getting off topic. I built the state off this code of ethics doing my best to establish it early on. It helped very much in our early development as the happiness of the state was key; however, your own happiness must also be fulfilled. So it allowed any and all persons of the village to pursue their passions without shame. It also allowed those that were contented to maintain their lifestyle. As it is known a happy, content life is an ethical one. Well as long as your own happiness didn’t infringe upon the happiness of another. Unfortunately, this did happen every so often.

It’s an odd feeling being the judicial, legislative, and executive power of a state. I had to make laws, interpret them, and enforce them. And looking back now that was beyond me. Again, I tried and it got me this far so maybe I wasn’t too bad. Using Utility and whatever I could remember from the Universal Declaration of Human Rights I made laws. I also enforced them with counsel from Silent Night about what was appropriate. I had come from an established country in my past life and arguments about what was truly ethical in the name of justice was important. But not in the beginnings of Our Home, we were in a state in which crimes could dismantle all we’ve worked for. So with that in mind I resorted to recalling where, in Utility, did justice originate from to guide me. In the name of Utility justice originates from four things: self-defense, sympathy, security, and duty. That is justice. So with this, and Silent Night’s counsel, I established any and all punishments for their appropriate offence.

I tried… I did.

Thankfully, as times changed and the state became more stable amendments were made but early on… self-defense, duty, and security were easy ways to justify capital punishment or bodily harm to lawbreakers. And for that I’m sorry. Utility demanded that some deaths would improve the overall happiness of the state, so I did what I had to. And in the name of happiness for all, I broke the purest of duties. I killed. I ended the life of many rational creatures but for the happiness and progress of the state. I will take that sin of the flesh as many times as I need to. Happiness for all we can. Ethics asks for nothing more but NOTHING less…

1.02 – First Confession of Sin

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Tears on my face I can't take it

If lonely's a taste, then it's all that I'm tasting

Do you hear my cry?

I cry, oh

Can you hold me?

Can you hold me?

Can you hold me in your arms?

Just wrap me in your arms, in your arms

I don't wanna be nowhere else

Take me from the dark, from the dark

I ain't gonna make it myself

Put your arms around me

Put your arms around me

Let your love surround me

I am lost

I am lost

If I ain't got you here

If I ain't got you, I ain't got nothing at all

Can you hold me?

Can you hold me?

Can you hold me in your arms, in your arms?

Yeah, Yeah

Yeah, I feel like it's just me, like it's just me

What it gon' take? What it gon' be?

I don't even know

-

But I'm lonely

Feeling like I don't even know me, I don't even know me

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Gotta have you, gotta see you

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Gotta see you

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If I ain't got you, If I ain’t got you

I ain't got nothing, I ain’t got nothing

If I ain't got you

I ain't got you

If I ain't got you

I'm lonely

If I ain't with you I'm lonely

I'm lonely

I need you

I need you

Can you hold me?

Can you hold me?

Can you hold me in your arms?

Feel like it's just me, like it's just me

What it gon' take? What it gon' be?

I don't even know, I don't even know

But I'm lonely, lonely

Feel like I don't even know me

Feels like I don't even know me

I don't even know me.

-NF

That was our song. I didn’t know any way else to thank my Night, so I taught her a song from my old Home. And I felt it was appropriate. She was my “why” for a while, so this song managed to sum up how I felt about her without me trying to stumble onto the right words. Anyone reading this may find a contradiction as happiness should always be a rational beings true “why” to life but her happiness was just more important. Being around her felt, right you know. And, if I had it my way, the world would still be ablaze for what happened to her, but the happiness of the State comes first. I have a responsibility to improve happiness anyway and anywhere I can so the death of the world can wait for some other superpower to distribute it.

I can't help but feel that if she more had time, Silent Night could have done such extraordinary things. She was such an enlightened mare combining both the wisdom that is taught from a book and the wisdom that can only be attained from trauma. The way she spoke and weaved her words into ideas and theories was matched by none. She could have done such extraordinary things.

I should’ve done more to save her; I should’ve known that Our lack of medical knowledge would lead to inevitable traumatic deaths. I couldn’t save my Night. I was not a doctor back Home and I sure wasn't one on Eques. The most I remembered was my EMT-B training from my College years but that was not enough to save her from her injuries. My Silent Night was torn apart. Flesh, barely ribbons attached to bone… yet she still dragged herself from the Evergreen fields to our home. In the name of happiness, she said. She didn’t want me to wander onto her corpse without knowing what happened. She knew closure was important to happiness so she begged her flesh to grant us that last happiness before she’d pass. I wish I’d done more, but I didn’t know pony anatomy enough to save her. She told me what happened, but I held myself back until Silent’s last breath. I had to talk to her for as long as I could before she had to leave the flesh. I wish it was longer but all the time we had left was just enough to sing together one last time.

She died after the second chorus. I had to finish the song alone.

That was the day I knew true Sin. I placed her body inside Our Home, locked the door, and took flight. A village of Pegasi had a date with Darwinism. Looking back, this was when I first realized the gender differences of Eques to my old Home. I was looking for stallions to tear apart but the warriors of the town were mares. The stallions nothing more than farmhands and bed warmers. So on that day twenty-six mares lost their permission to live. Four lost permission to live as free rational creatures.

One mare got to live by the grace of her violet eyes and dark coat.

With that, I had acted on the Ultimate sin. Happiness by the infliction of suffering on another. I cannot hope to redeem myself but the guaranteed happiness of the State called for it. So I will sin again and again if the Happiness of the State calls for it. No other should ever follow this example, I know it's hypocrisy but the State must not sin; otherwise, my sin would be for nothing. Because I am not the State. My sins are my own.

Once I made it back to the town, my Fellows looked at me with such fear. A blood soaked biped Alicorn stallion with four mares in magical chains and six starved stallions following close behind. It must have been a terrifying sight. However, after I locked the mares inside my Home, gagged to maintain silence. I took the stallions to the village center and called my Fellows to listen. All I said was to please give these rational creatures a good home, good food, and a happy life, in the name of Utility. The crowd looked confused but slowly six families emerged from the crowd and adapted these six men. I smiled and told them that thirty-two people sinned that day and for it an entire village and one special mare suffered. The families looked horrified but this guaranteed that these poor stallions would be treated properly. After that I simply walked away, back to my Home.

It took three winters but I found out how to save ponies from most traumatic injuries if given enough time. All it took was the freedom of four rational creatures to achieve this. One died almost immediately as I was very unpracticed in saving a life. The second one lasted a little longer. The third I could save from most anything as long as they didn’t immediately die from blood loss, which was how they died. The forth I could save from everything but decapitation which was how they left the flesh. I made sure to take notes on how I used a combination of biology, magic, and anatomy to save them from any trauma their bodies endured.

With this new knowledge I opened a new school. The old one held too many memories so I let my only son take it, like he always wanted. This new school would only teach those that graduated the primary school. Our focus was on biology and medicine. None would ever be lost to trauma as long as we existed. My first class had four souls. More than enough to serve our community. So with that I taught them how to save lives, maintain cleanliness, and provide comfort and Utility to Our patients. I also enlisted them to help develop the Evergreens to produce antibiotics. We found our answer in the form of a slug. Ugly thing but fungus and bacteria never grew in or near these things so we had to impose that antibiotic gene into the Evergreen.

Using magic to detect nucleotides is a barely a valid science, it reminds me a lot of spectroscopy from Organic Chemistry. A lot of maybe’s, kind ‘as, and pattern recognition. But we managed to isolate what caused the cells in the slug to produce the antibiotic chemical and we transferred that gene to the Evergreen. Mistakes caused the Evergreens to produce the antibiotics in their bark and not their leaves but we had our answer to open surgery. No longer will people die of infection after we worked so hard to save them. Made Evergreens even more dangerous but it was worth it. In the name of Utility we will save all we can, minimize suffering, and if nothing else not bring harm.

1.03 - Afterthought

I've confessed to a lot in this chapter but let it be known that all I am and ever was, was a rational mortal creature. If my logic was perfect, I may have been able to serve my State better but I am of flesh and with flesh comes error. I may be the father of Eques Utilitarianism but I am far from the perfect example of Utility. But I tried, and I hope that's enough. Maybe those reading this can learn from my mistakes or condemn me for them, either way only the future will hold the fate of my legacy. And please, don't link my sins to Utility, I am not an embodiment of the code. We are separate entities, one without sin, the other composed of it.

2 - Celestia, Harmony, Sin, and Friendship [Uneditted]

2.00 – Animosity Towards the Solar Monarch and 2nd admission of Sin

To those outside Our State, the states of Our Allies, or the sovereign nation of Equestria who may not know the origins of my… distaste for the Solar Monarch, I will attempt to explain my positioning and reasons. However, I do not expect anyone to respect them, sympathize, or understand it. This is a simple recollection of thoughts on the matter. Maybe some will even label this as a simple rant, a simple rant about someone I may have called friend many winters ago.

Now the Solar Monarch, Celestia, once had a sister. Her name was Luna. They ran a kingdom to the north of Our Tundra, in a land encompassing many biomes and species. In the name of Harmony and Unification they stopped the icing over of the world by the energy absorbing Windigos. These Windigos were beasts that were supposedly composed of the hatred and bigotry of the pony tribes towards themselves and other species. In these stories about the origins of the Windigos a lot of weight is placed on the power of emotions and there negative effects on the world around us. If I hadn't seen entire species survive off such magical emotional energies I would have dismissed these stories as mere fairy tales but with what I've experienced, I'm leaning more towards believing such stories. Anyway, after capturing one of these beasts and placing it through many examinations and tests I have a few theories about these Windigos. The beasts, in my opinion, survived on ambient energy, absorbing sunlight and heat alike to run their near indestructible bodies. And speaking of said bodies, their forms had this ethereal and transparent nature about them. However their fragile appearance and beauty did not make obvious their near invisibility nature. Their bodies, from my studies, were entirely immune to most outside energies and magic's. However, they had to consume flesh to maintain these bodies, otherwise they "evaporate". This flesh can be damn near anything from the tissue of plants all the way to the flesh of rational creatures, like you and I. It didn’t matter to them. Luckily, they left Our Tundra alone. The already low temperatures and low quantities of available flesh made it difficult for them to survive the long treks between major states. So they remained to the north of us, in the broken pony lands.

After the defeat of the Windigos, a new age of Harmony reigned as the major ideology of the ponies with Celestia as their Goddess of the Sun and Queen of the State of Equestria with Luna as her lesser co-ruler. At first I didn’t believe two fleshly entities could control such large celestial bodies but they did. Celestia and Luna, the Goddesses of the Sun and Moon respectably, ran a messy body of states under the Equestrian flag even after the Unification. The ponies of Equestria are a unique bunch, they have this all too familiar tendency to stereotype and simplify all they come across. Now if only they categorized everything as well then they’d remind me of my own species but lists, check boxes, and the such have remained to be seen, along with other things.

Anyway, the Diarchs and I met as would any leaders of neighboring states would. They seemed like pleasant company. I could even admire their love for tradition and collectivistic ideals, reminded me of my old culture back Home. And Harmony didn’t seem to bad either. All it meant back then was the acceptance and tolerance of all rational beings in and outside the state within the reason that acceptance and tolerance was shown back. Through Harmony, adversity can and will be overcome. It was a simple and very idealistic rationale that I could admire for its innocence. One thing though, I did notice that Unification and Harmony seemed almost interchangeable to the Diarchs but that might’ve just been a weakness of the spoken word being translated poorly or maybe I am just reading too much into it. Looking at the present and reflecting on the thought, I am still not sure if this meant anything but nonetheless I gave them a chance. I opened our borders so my Fellows and their citizens could openly trade and migrate as they pleased. Times were peaceful so I did not worry too much about any repercussions. Internal affairs needed my attention as the school system was already under equip to deal with our rise in population, so I was distracted.

Now unlike today, I kept an open door policy towards the Diarchs but only one would ever really indulge in it. Luna, that sweet misunderstood mare. I can still remember her turquoise eyes. It's been so long since I've seen her and maybe I never will again but my memories of her are still with me. And that is enough for now. Anyway, early on Luna and I kept in touch quite often during Equestria’s Unification. As her name would suggest Luna was quite literally the embodiment of a “night owl” only ever visiting during the midnight hours. Our first conversations were nothing special. Just testing the waters I suppose until Luna decided to loosen up a bit. Our sense of humor wasn't too similar but we both enjoyed the occasional battle of verbal insults and such when we were comfortable. But soon our conversation became more, intricate. Discussions of ideologies, struggles, past experiences and such topics sprang up. Each of us usually dismissing any trauma with a smile and a laugh saying how it's the past and it doesn't bother us. But if it really didn't, why did we bring it up so much? I honestly guess we both just wanted someone to vent to. Someone who can relate to our struggle and understand power and what it meant like we did. Why Luna didn't confide in her sister is common knowledge by now. A hint of jealousy wrapped in distrust and loneliness.

Once our talks became even more intricate we fully delved into the idea of "Harmony" and what it really meant. To counter Luna did the same to many aspects of Utility, or how I defined it. We talked and talked tearing into each other's ideology until we were satisfied with what was left. One point I made to Luna during these talks was how there is a natural order to our beliefs, a calling to apply our set of beliefs without considering context and shoving clearly defined rights and wrongs, goods and evils to all situations. I told her many times that both our ideologies required a natural enemy to help define what was right compared to wrong. Utility’s enemy was suffering, the Ultimate Sin, and those that practiced it, while Harmony just needed an outside entity of any description as their natural enemy or natural adversity. If Harmony and Unification were interchangeable, as I observed, those not unified in Harmony can be the enemy. This was my answer to her misunderstood night in Harmony's eyes. To most beings the night can never be unified with the day as they are polar opposites. And to be more specific, to the pony mind, the night is but a shroud to hind the ill-intentioned and dangerous. An adversity to be overcome through Harmony’s guiding light. With this point we tried to argue on how to unify the night and day to help Luna fit better into Harmony. Using old astrology knowledge from Earth we came up with this simple solution that was built into the very nature of the celestial bodies the two sisters possessed,

“Day and Night are unified via the light they share, the Moon does not produce light but reflects the light of the Sun. Thus they are unified by this light. Without the moon, night will be pitch and impossible to survive.”

This argument still put a lot of credit to the Sun but it unified the two celestial bodies as important and worthy of appreciation in the name of Harmony.

This helped Luna out tremendously, however she was but a reflection of the Sun. A lesser copy of the embodiment of Harmony and Unification and this still tore Luna apart as time passed. Things only became worse after Discord’s defeat and the discovery of the “Tree of Harmony”. Both those topics deserve their own chapters, so I will divulge my opinion of them in a later section. Anyway, Luna’s visits became more frequent and carnal in nature. Plays of sexual pleasuring, violent skirmishes (duels), and arguments over Harmony became our normal routine during visits. And the atmosphere during said activities were always the same. Tense, frustrated, and aggressive as if they were just a way to vent for Luna. I didn't mind it and encouraged the acts. They appeared to be helping and that is all I wished to do for the princess. So we just kept at it, it became our nightly routine. Sex, duels, and debates. And after a while I was able to piece together what was frustrating Luna, the definition of Harmony had shifted to something completely new in Equestria. This new change left Unification (Friendship) as only a sub-point of the idea. A critique of this contemporary Harmony will be discussed later as it does pertain to my distaste of the Solar Monarch. But this made our old argument less effective to a point and very much less impactful.

Now I couldn't leave Celestia in the dark, so to speak, that would be very dangerous to a Diarchy if one of the Diarchs was frustrated or even hated the other. So even though it was against Luna's wishes I kept Celestia informed of our more appropriate activities and discussions. As I started to piece together Luna's frustrations with whatever information she was willing to part with me, I did my best to inform Celestia to see if she can help. I also very much stressed the fact that Luna was telling me all this in confidence so if she did ever mention what I've explained to her, that Celestia should at least make it appear that she made these conclusions on her own with her own observations. I don't know if this helped at all or only made the situation worse, Luna never mentioned her sister during our time spent together.

Anyway, regarding the statement I made earlier in this chapter, there was a time I called Celestia a friend. Its hard not to after so many years of knowing one another. Not just that but we've engaged many of the same battles together, the most prominent being the liberation of the Crystal Empire. You cannot simply overthrow a tyrant without becoming closer to you sisters-in-arms. At the end of the day, you trusted them with your life and they didn't let you down. So I was close to Celestia, I insulted and criticized her on about a weekly basis but we both took it in stride. We both respected each other's power and rule over our respective States. We respected each other's ideals and critiqued them. We both enjoyed each other's company. We were friends. One thing I still remember about the old sun-butt was how much she enjoyed her otherworldly , god-motherly act. This mask of superiority and grace but I always found a way around it. It wasn't hard in all honesty, a few pranks and a friendly wrestling match or two removed any prim and proper mask Celestia decided to wear for the day. That or cake. Cake was much more effective but usually required a lot more money and you had to pray it didn't end with Celestia eating herself into a food coma. So to very much summarize our old relationship in as few words as possible, we were best friends. However, everything started to change after the discovery of that Tree. Celestia changed, not immediately but it was noticeable. I have my theories, but the one I point to the most is simple, Celestia found an Ideal to live for, a direct link to something Celestia believed was bigger than her. She lived for that damned "Tree of Harmony". I'll go into my thoughts about that Tree later. I will return my focus back to the tipping point of my aversion towards Celestia, which was Luna's transformation into the Nightmare.

I look back with regret at my helplessness towards Luna's blight, I wish I could have done more for her but I had the State to run and Luna knew this. So after several years of day to day visits, Luna made her presence increasingly scarce until one fateful winter night. Luna and I laid together in the Evergreen fields as she asked a simple question.

“If Utility demanded that you take my life, would you?”

Immediately I answered, “Yes.” Luna's reply was a quiet smile. She then laid her muzzle deeper into my neck and sighed. The next day was the birth of Nightmare Moon. After the Sun failed to rise the next morning, I did everything in my power to ensure our state would survive. Surplus was rationed to every family, warmth via any means was provided to every house, warm clothes and textile production was boosted, schools were shut down. Anything I could think of I put into practice for Our survival. From what I remember I made the estimation that all my efforts would help us survive for one cycle of the seasons, after that time frame the cold would become unbearable and kill us all.

So after all emergency protocols were set and executed, I ventured to Equestria to speak to Celestia, this is the tipping point of my distaste towards the Solar Queen. The way Celestia explained herself, or rather what I collected from what she stated was she was unwilling to sin for the preservation of her state, it peoples, and her “Harmony”. If she sinned Harmony would have sinned and thus lose its purity. Celestia and the Tree had become “Harmony”. What they were and interpreted became “Harmony”, became what was right, what was moral. I could not believe this. I pleaded with Celestia to think about what she was saying. That the Night Mare must be struck down for all that was right but to Celestia and “Harmony”, killing was unacceptable no matter the circumstance. I will never accept that notion, in times of War and Emergency, morality over the enemies’ wellbeing is a moot notion. The enemy wishes to destroy your Utility (your happiness), you destroy theirs in turn. We were not developed enough to privilege the idea of morality over the enemy. What Luna was doing would destroy us all and she took pleasure in that suffering. She must be killed.

Celestia banished me from Equestria after our meeting. Looking back, maybe Celestia was just explaining herself poorly. Maybe Celestia was just unwilling to kill her sister and not just unwilling to kill for the better of all effected. I don't know, I haven't bothered asking the Solar Queen and she's never mentioned anything about our meeting after all was said and done. I don't know... maybe I'm just a bad person for being so willing to kill in the name of happiness. Before my life on Eques I was never presented with power, so now that I am a god... how should I handle it all. My actions have real weight to them now. I can enforce my ideals with force alone. It is an odd feeling. I'll reflect on this line of though later, for now I should finish my thoughts on Celestia and Harmony.

At the time of my banishment from Equestria I did not care, I had Our State to save. So I went back home and instructed the production of geothermal caves to house my Fellows. Food was rationed further, piping and pumping became essential as water could kill all that stayed in the caves, clocks were mandated and their repair became essential. I tried everything I could to save our State but after what would have been one seasonal cycle the cold made its way into the caves. Thermodynamics was against us and I couldn’t fight that. We didn’t have the energy or resources to dig deeper so I did the last thing I could think of.

I gathered all my fellows into the epicenter of the geothermal caves and pulled out a thermostat.

“If this device reaches 20 degrees C tomorrow, you may all return to the surface.” My fellows crowded around me asked what I was planning and I simply replied. “I am bringing back the Sun.” I then ventured out into the sub-zero world I’d left one year ago, flew into the dark sky above our State, and became a star. To give a quick summary on my plan, I redirected my anatomy to abandon all else but the production of light and heat trying my best to mimic the Sun. I had to dal with the inefficient nature of biological heat production versus nuclear but it was all I knew. So to hold on for as long as I could, I grabbed all near-by ambient magic in the atmosphere to maintain this for much longer than I should have been able to naturally. To be honest, I didn't know how long I was up there when the Nightmare finally noticed me.

When she did finally decide to show her presence, she stalled. Maintaining a large distance between us until she finally felt like approaching. Even though I can't remember much during my time as a biological star, I can clearly recall what she had said to me.

“Has Utility not demanded you strike me down?”

I replied the best I could, “It did, my Night, but I missed my chance eternities ago, Utility now demands I preserve our State for as long as I can, so that is what I am doing.”

"We know thou could have found my being at any moment and struck us down but thou didn't. How could thou have failed to live up to what thou believed with such faith. How could thou have failed me...?

I could remember the feeling of slipping away, the stress of my actions finally reaching me. But then Luna did the funniest thing, she embraced me in her fore hooves and began to sing:

“Just wrap me in your arms, in your arms

I don't wanna be nowhere else

Take me from the dark, from the dark

I ain't gonna make it myself

Put your arms around me

Put your arms around me

Let your love surround me

I am lost, I am lost”

With whatever strength I had left I joined her:

“If I ain't got you here

If I ain't got you, I ain't got nothing at all

Can you hold me?

Can you hold me?

Can you hold me in your arms?”

I never taught her that old song but she must have learned it from my dreams. Afterward she gave whatever magic she could spare and left. Shortly after the Nightmare was defeated by Celestia and the “Tree” and the Sun quickly rose again.

At the Suns first light I plummeted to the ground and blacked out. A century I’ve been up there. One hundred years, to many I was nothing but a myth. A story told be the elders and most superstitious creatures. But I had returned and Our State would prosper once again. Progress had obviously stagnated during the period of cold as food was never in enough surplus to expand or increase population growth in a meaningful way. But the State survived. I ignored myself as long as I could to ensure I had all available time to get Our State into a proper functioning state. Then Celestia came. Our Tundra had been the only land to survive the onslaught of the moon in a meaningful way. Other rational creatures made it out alive but states were demolished, cultures extinct, and happiness lost to time. Most had the same idea I had early on, to dig but that only worked so well. Hunger infected the entire world but our tiny plot of half frozen soil.

I agreed to see her and I came up with an agreement. A loan to Equestria for the cost of compounding interest and a duel. She did not object, she had no power to. To give this some context, Celestia was the only leader I forced into a duel, all others were just charged a small interest rate for our help. I wish I could have just helped in the name of Utility but our State was in no condition to privilege that kind of generosity.

The day of the duel was a bright one. We stood on the border or Our Tundra and Equestria. Many of my Fellows followed me and as the duel started they sung. I don’t know how they learned the song of my late Silent Night but there they sang it. “Can you hold me” was all you could hear. With that, I sobbed as I lunged at Celestia, the world was in slow motion and invisible as I smashed my withered fist into Celestia’s pristine muzzle. Even in my weakened state I was a god of flesh. Celestia stood no chance, my power and magic was of the flesh, hers was that of the celestials. Her body just could not compete with mine.

By the end of the melody, I stood over a beaten and belittled Celestia. My fellows, entranced by the song they sung, never questioned my violence towards the Solar Monarch. This is my second admission of Sin and I regret it daily. It was senseless and irrational, only acted upon to improve my own happiness. Afterward, I healed the Solar Monarch and returned her to her capital. She remembered the beating the day after and maintained my banishment from Equestria but gladly took our help. From that day on only students, traders, and a set number of immigrants from Equestria were allowed in the Tundra and our State.

2.01 - Critique of Contemporary Harmony

Contemporary Harmony is an ethics based on Solar Worship. There is no separation between Celestia and Harmony as it stands right now. Her word is goodness, her word is morality. And this is a problem as Celestia is guided by the “Tree”. The “Tree” is an irrational creature of crystalline flesh. It is a reactionary force that acts to preserve itself in the face of danger.

Firstly, Discord with his breed of chaos was a direct danger to the “Tree”. Discord had a phenomenal power over all that was irrational. Be it simple animals, inanimate objects, or plant life. He could also grant rationality to that which had none and reduce the rationality of those creatures that possessed it. This put the “Tree” in direct danger as Discord could quite literally erase it from existence by simply transforming it into a lesser form. So it protected itself with a “suit of armor”. The “Tree” surrounded itself with a newly created breed of Evergreen, ones that were not of my design. These “Everfree” trees took ambient magic and transformed it into chaotic magic which was used to feed them. This disguised the “Tree” and made an impenetrable shield around it against Discord. He simply could not arrive anywhere near the “Tree” without being sapped of all that gave him life by the Everfree forest. This shows the Tree’s reactionary nature. It does not care for morality or rationality; it just wants to survive.

It is known that morality and rationality are preemptive in nature; they are linked to the nature of a rational being. They are code to live by, not a reaction to an enemy. Experience may shape your morality but it is not your morality. To counter the first major argument, survival is rational but it alone does not prove rationality. Secondly, the “Tree” is said to act in mysterious ways with and I quote “a rationality that is beyond us”. No it doesn’t. The Tree is flesh so it’s first instinct would be survival. First linking itself to both the Diarchs of Equestria, then one, then neither as the tree probably recognized Celestia as a danger as well since her sister turned against the Tree. Now it will link to some weaker creature that it can more fully control, as it cannot control flesh to compete with myself or the celestials to compete with Celestia. I theorize that it’ll link itself to a simple mage as the “Tree” can manipulate magic far better than the Solar Queen or I can. This has yet to be seen.

To give a call to action, I believe Harmony should return to its roots which lie in the now new word “Friendship”. A newer, more personal, and heartfelt word with its origins in “Unification”. Friendship has the ability to bring happiness and comfort that an irrational being like the “Tree” cannot. “Friendship” puts the group first and ensures the happiness of all. It can conquer all evil and does not shy away from suffering but learns from it. It unifies rational creatures under one banner of mutual trust and tolerance. It is not mysterious, but natural and understood by all. So let “Friendship” be the Mantra of Equestria and not this irrational Contemporary Harmony.

2.02 – Afterthought

Flesh will always error and is incapable of pure reason. Because of this the words or actions of a being of flesh cannot be true morality. Rationality allows for better clarification towards morality but can still error in reason and logic. We are bound to link our morality to the desires of our flesh so in this way Utility serves its purpose. It has a clear objective, happiness to all we can. And with this the morality attached to our flesh is fulfilled. Friendship serves the same purpose as it links its morality to a nature of the flesh. Companionship and the desire for mutual trust and respect is universal to all species of Eques. From the Flocks of the Griffons, the Herds of the Ponies, the Packs of the Diamond Dogs, or the collectives of the Dragons. Friendship will guide all those to greater heights and outside the irrational nature of Celestia’s “Tree”. Next I will discuss Discord, the Evergreens and Everfrees, and the rebuilding of a state. I hope you who are reading this will come to your own judgements about all the topics discussed in this chapter and share them with your fellows.

3 - Thoughts on Discord and Trees [Uneditted]

3.00 – Thoughts On Discord

Discord, the “embodiment” of Chaos. A creature of flesh that supposedly represented disorder and confusion. Now was he not logical or reasonable, that is debatable. His existence, though, does pose an interesting question towards rationality and the consequences of the flesh. I will get to the point of this matter and immediately disclose that Discord’s flesh is not his true body. His flesh is a consequence of a purely rational entity trying to enter the flesh. However, I pose a question, how is an entity beyond flesh supposed to understand it or function inside it. The simple answer is it doesn’t. It doesn’t understand the importance of the preservation of the body or the importance of rationality bound in flesh or even flesh in general.

Discord acted on immediate impulses and pleasures like an animal. Doing whatever brought himself pleasure regardless of the consequences it had on others. And no matter what history says, Discord did kill. Removing rationality from a rational creature is equivalent to removing life from the flesh. For any moment that a person suddenly became a lamp, that person no longer existed and was dead. For every boulder he gave consciousness, the suddenly rational boulder wailed as would an infant. Removing this new consciousness from this newly rational boulder was another rational being killed. Discord killed, plain and simple.

But how do you explain death to a creature only days old in the flesh but possibly as old as existence? I do not have a practical answer to this for even Discord had no reason to fear death. I met him in the Evergreen Fields where he was looking at the trees, speaking to himself about one matter or another. There I told him, if he’s come to ruin our State I would end him. He simply smiled and invited it. Taunting that he was already in front of me, so half the work was done. So, I torn him apart. Then I did it again. And again. And again. At one point I forced every cell in his body to enter apoptosis, leaving nothing but a dissolved puddle of proteins, fats, and such. But it didn’t matter. His flesh is like ours but something will always form a new body. These energies grabbed at any flesh it finds and then turns it into a body. Before Discord got bored and killed me, I tore him apart one last time. As the energies went to reach out for flesh, I interfered, sending distinct instruction and rational towards what the energies should look for in flesh.

That was the most painful day of my life. The energies grabbed at me while I pulled at and restructured all I could reach to maintain my form. From that day, the entity known as Discord gained the flesh of a human. It’s an odd feeling rebuilding your mind while a cosmic entity rips it apart. Thoughts and concepts suddenly became impossible to remember but then flashed back into my mind. All I know is that I never wish to experience that feeling again. So as we both regained composure, I immediately went for Discord’s new life. I was met with a claw through my chest and a paw over my horn. I taught him to fear death but also the anger that comes with fear. For the next five moons I was beaten repeatedly to the edge of my life then healed. It was a grand old time. However, Discord never removed or bestowed rationality to any other form of flesh after our time together.

After my beating Discord sat down and stared at me. I regained any composure I could and stared politely back. From there he tried his best to empty his thoughts at me. The human nervous system was not created for perfect rationality but it gave him the clarity that a rational creature like a human has. He still couldn’t understand why his actions were wrong and met with such animosity as certain concepts still lied beyond his young flesh, but he continued. Spouting contradiction after contradiction, confused and lost about all that the flesh is. Communication was even questioned as why would a fleshless entity even need to disclose it thoughts. The conversation was interesting to say the least.

I never figured out what energies actually composed Discord’s true “body”. I couldn’t even gather if he really was the embodiment of disorder. While flesh, rules of existence still applied to Discord, however he could manipulate the universe around him anyway he wanted to, so maybe the rules of existence didn’t actually apply to him. I don’t know. I regret to say this but I just labeled any energies related to Discord as Chaos Magic and left it at that as any phenomenon about him is beyond me.

So now this poses the most interesting question. Is Celestia’s “Tree” actually an entity outside flesh trying to enter it? According to Discord, it is. So the “Tree” is another entity’s attempt at flesh, but like Discord, this entity has no clear idea what flesh entails. But it does understand death without my help. So why does it fear, while Discord didn’t. I cannot answer this, the only evidence I have that the tree even fears death is Discord’s testimony about how it has been trying to hide from him, using my Evergreens. He also disclosed how the “Tree” has been here longer than he has.

So I pose this theory, what if the “Tree” is an evolving flesh. During its first moments of being, the tree was totally irrational but is gaining rationality as time passes. Its attempt at flesh is stationary, unlike Discord, so its development is different than his. What if the “Tree” is still in its Proto form, an irrational crystalline animal allying itself with rational creatures to protect itself and evolve. That would explain its fear of death as it has had time to orient itself to the flesh and its desires and fears. If the “Tree” really is connected to a purely rational entity what’s to say it doesn’t have the capacity to learn from those its aligned itself with. That would explain its reactionary actions as the “tree” is just reacting to its allies needs and wants. Like an all-powerful self-fulfilling Deus ex Machina. Would explain a lot actually. As of right now the “Tree” is still irrational only thinking of survival but it gains rationality from its allies. Copying their needs and wants to a tee. To the point that it will fulfill these needs as if it were its own. So is it rational, or is it the world’s best copycat of rational creatures.

Only time will tell. For now, all we know is the “Tree” has unallied itself with Celestia and her Contemporary Harmony. Either it be fear, boredom, or an actually rational decision made from greater concepts. Who knows? I regret to say that I definitely don’t.
So what does this do to my argument against Contemporary Harmony? I’ll reflect on that later but all those reading this may come to their own conclusions and discuss them with your fellows.

Anyway, back to Discord. The human mind has set needs that must be met for proper development. These needs were neglected and Discord lost his mind. He terrorized the world but could never face me. He avoided anywhere I was like I was the plague. This weakness of his kept most of the Tundra intact as teleportation made it very easy to be in more than one place at any given moment. I couldn’t give this same treatment to our neighbors however as my power does not entail complete mastery over magic and all concepts attached to it. Teleportation around the Tundra was burdening enough, teleportation around the world would have killed me.

In the end, I wasn’t needed. The “Tree” and its allies bound Discord to a stationary flesh. One beyond his understanding, thus removing all his ability to interact with the world around him. I hope he isn’t conscious now, I don’t know how the inability to act with the world will affect him. Let’s just not think about it for now. We have yet to gain the privilege to think about morality towards any and all enemies of our State.

3.01 – Trees

The Everfree Forest is a terrifying place. Why Celestia decided to make her home there for a time is beyond me. The air itself is filled with energies much too similar to Discord for it to be comfortable by any means. Maybe it was for safety, but that does not matter anymore. Her new home is atop such a lonely mountain. Kind of symbolic really. But I am getting off track.

The Everfree Tree is a master piece of survival. All it needs is sufficient soil and ambient magic, a radiation that is found throughout all of Eques. Cells are supercharged with magic only for it to be transformed into Chaos. This Chaos is then metabolized to keep these trees alive. However, only a portion of this Chaos is used as energy. The rest is released into the environment. The Chaos then breaks down in the sunlight to form heat and regular ambient magic. One plant, the Poison Joke, takes in the Chaos and reverts it back into traditional magic that it uses as energy for most traditional metabolic processes.

I’ve imported many a Poison Joke for study and genetic manipulation. And I can say they were pivotal to the reconstruction of our state after the terror of the Night Mare. I’ve also managed to acquire an Everfree Tree. These plants are very much copies of ones I’ve created. Experiments show a direct lineage from those created in the Tundra and those in the Everfree. This information is also backed by genetic data found when decoding the genome of these plants. So the “Tree” most definitely has an understanding of survival and what it entails. Clever thing. It also recognizes patterns as genetic manipulation to this level would at least require that. Any other observations have yet to prove anything definite.

Now, Evergreens are still present in our modern State. Driven almost to extinction by the cold, they recovered during my time as a star. However, the lack of nutrient rich soil drove them to numbers below any defined endangered line. Seven remained by the time I returned from the sky. Seven trees, each over twenty meters in diameter and tens of hundreds stories tall. That was all that was left of the proud Evergreen Fields. It was an understatement to say wood was in shortage. By the time we rebuilt everything to an appropriate level, only three trees remain. We recovered any dead wood we could but no organic compound could survive one hundred years in open sunlight, warmth, and moisture without some form of decomposition.

Anyway, the trees are back to appropriate numbers for trade and loans. I, myself, am developing a copy of the Everfree trees to make use as armor against mages. It has been successful so far. As long as the wood is a living flesh, it converts magics directed at it to heat. Easy way to defend against magics if the spell quite literally goes up in smoke. However, decreases in ambient magic is known to warp DNA and is cancerous to most living flesh on Eques. So this may be a dead venture. An interesting note though, is that sudden increases in ambient magics and Chaos leads to instantaneous metamorphosis which can be reverted. This is strange and interesting at the same time. This may lead to a new school of science as the difference between species on Eques may be simple gene expression altered by the flow of ambient magics through the flesh. This would be supported by the fact that most species only have a 0.000001% difference between genomes. That small percent may actually only code for a protein that regulates the flow of magic into the flesh. More research is needed but this is interesting enough.

3.02 – Afterthought

The “Tree” may actually be on its way to rationality, or as rational as flesh will allow it to be. But this is good news. Maybe the Tree will ally itself with one that is more reasonable. Hopefully, a being that isn’t just one step from being defined as all powerful. As I theorized before, maybe a simple mage would suffice, one that is flawed and still learning about the flesh themselves. But one can only hope.
I also hope that one day I could build Discord a proper body, one that may be able to link his pure fleshless rationality to the flesh but I wouldn’t even know where to start. Maybe that too is a dead venture. I don’t know.

Finally, regarding the rebuilding of our State. This will be discussed in the next chapter as such a momentous task deserves its own section. Infrastructure alone takes up a multi-book series. And I can’t even get started on Law, electricity, plumbing, or any other important information that may serve our State well. There is also the fact that my memory has been failing me lately. But what can one of the flesh really complain about when they are over a couple thousand winters old. If I was still a traditional human, I’d be but the dirt our crops are grown in.

Cancelled

Unfortunately I have lost interest in continuing The Memoir. I will publish the last chapter with only the illustrations I did but none of the writing as I did not finish it. The commission for the cover art was never finished. I did not lose any money however as I was going to pay for it after it was produced. From this experience I realize I bit off more than I can chew for this story. But it was fun and a learning experience. Thanks Xin.