Rarity The Phone Sex Operator

Rainbow had indeed been ready for round two. And what a round it was. She still felt tired. She was surprised they didn't wake Rarity with how loudly they were moaning. She must have been really tired.

She also didn't know Pinkie of all mares could be so dominant in bed. Sure she was a sweetheart, and made sure she reciprocated, but she was in control the whole time, and you knew it when she was.

Around now, Rainbow was making her way back to her cloud. She had decided to mark that particular cloud as a well placed sleeping spot, since she ended up 'marking' it in a different way already. Her juices may have been gone from the premises, but the cloud still smelled of them, and would be that way for the entire day today.

She could tell these things, being a weather pony.

But she was also a Wonderbolt. A fact she was about to be reminded of.

"Hey, Dash!" came a familiar rough voice. Rather than tough and gravely like before, this voice was simply...rough around the edges, with a distinctly female tone to it that showed more so than the particular rumble she had come to expect from it.

She recognized it immediately as Spitfire.

As a fleeting thought, she managed to realize that ever since that night at Rarity's, she's been recognizing people by their voices rather than by their faces. She took a mental note to keep doing that. She kind of liked it. It was like she was a ninja. Sensing her opponents before they could strike.

She was about to imagine herself alone in a field, with only her five senses and a sword, feeling around in the dark for enemies when...

"Rainbow Dash!"

She was snapped out of her revelry by Spitfire's shouting. It rung in her ears and made her head shake like a bell being rung.

She turned on to her back, pushed herself onto her hooves and said, "What's up, Spitfire!"

"I'm glad you asked, Dash!" came Spitfire's voice, suddenly excited again. "The wonderbolts have got a show to put on in Cloudsdale Stadium again, and I wanted you to tell you personally."

Rainbow almost died on the spot from how fast her heart was beating right now. Spitfire simply waited for the explosion.

"Oh my gosh, that is so cool! The Wonderbolts are gonna perform again! Which means i'm gonna perform again! Oh, I can't wait for everyone to see how awesome I am!"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up!" Spitfire smiles at her. "Just get those friends of yours and come on up with us. Don't want them to miss the show after all."

"Wait. How do you know about my friends?"

"You think I wouldn't notice six mares saving my sorry rump every week?"

"Yeah...I guess you're right."

"That and they come to our shows. I see them all the time down their in the stands, coming to cheer on their beloved Rainbow Dash."

"oooh..." Was all Rainbow could say. She had no other words. She had such good friends.

Spitfire laughed. "Calm down, Dash. The show is later today. You don't have to get so excited."

"Not so excited!" Rainbow Dash Countered, getting in her face. "Not so excited?! I get to perform in front of so many ponies and you say I shouldn't be excited? No way!"

"Typical Rainbow Dash. Always in it for the glory. See you later, then."

With that she flew off and Rainbow Dash was left waving behind her.

Rainbow Dash thought for a moment. She would perform again, and her friends would see it. She needed to be absolutely ready.

Her energy back from the news about the show, she decided she would go and tell Fluttershy first, her being her oldest friend and all. So she took off into the air, off towards the Everfree forest, where her childhood friend Fluttershy's cottage was located.

She never quite understood why her friend chose this place, being as scared as she was of anything dangerous. But, as she landed on the ground near her place, those thoughts were immediately dashed and replaced with thoughts of the show. A show she was going to be apart of. Oh, she was so excited!

She went to the door, and knocked three times, as usual, and waited for a response. A soft, "I'm coming" was heard on the other side, along with the telltale clopping of hooves toward the door.

Rainbow waited for the door to open, and when it did, she practically burst inside of it, flying in circles in the air as she cheered and celebrated for herself.

Fluttershy on the other hand, was not so pleased with rainbow. Cowering on the ground just below her friend, the yellow pegasus tried to make her voice heard over the cheers of her friend.

"Um...Rainbow? What are you so happy about? Did something good happen today?"

The speedster was on her in a second. "Good. Try amazing! The Wonderbolts are gonna perform again! It's been so long since the last time they did."

"Well, that's great but-" Fluttershy tried to speak, but was cut off.

"And I'M gonna be with them! Oooh, I can't wait."

"Yeah. ...woohoo..." Fluttershy said, her voice a sad whisper.

this sudden change in tone worried Rainbow. She immediately came to her friend's side. "Is something wrong, Fluttershy? Why are you sad?"

"Well...its not that i'm sad. It's just that...the way you came in...really frightened me. You just...flew right in, and well...i'm not good with surprises."

Rainbow looked saddened herself now. "Oh...I'm sorry Fluttershy. I forgot you don't like loud noises"

"It's okay. I wasn't doing anything big anyway."

"So, what were you doing before I showed up."

"I was caring for my animals. The poor things get so very lonely when i'm not around. They just don't know what to do."

"Can I help?"

"Oh! Um...well, some of the animals need a more...gentle...hoof. I'm afraid that you might scare them away."

"What? pfft! That's a load of horse apples and you know it. I'm amazing with animals. I'll have them feeling so relaxed, They'll call me Dr. Domare."

"Whatever you say, Rainbow..." came Flutterhsy's soft voice.

"So what's first, Fluttershy? What task will prove just how awesome I am?!"

"Um...how about you...feed the birds!" Fluttershy said, pointing to the bird house just above her front door.

"Got it!" Rainbow said, soaring up to the bird house without a second thought.

Fluttershy ad to call her back down. "Rainbow? You forgot the birdseed!"

Rainbow scratched her head nervously. "Oh. Yeah, right."

She came down and picked up the birdseed, only to go right back up to the bird house, staring into it with a grin on her face.

The birds on the other hand, were not so happy. The giant eye on the outside of their house was back, and it looked even more menacing. The lead bird jumped as it returned, and had a hard time catching its breath. It turned around immediately and warned the rest of the family, who flew deeper into the house.

The lead bird turned around. The eye was still there, but now it was turned away. The bird gave a chirp of relief, happy that it wasn't going to die today. But when it turned back around The eye was back. His little heart skipped another beat as it stared down at him. Mocking him. Making him look like a fool in front of his family.

The bird was now growing angrier and angrier. How dare this eye sit there...staring. Just...looking...at them. As if waiting for them to make one...wrong...move...

The eyes suddenly veered backwards. Was it gong to attack? He had to be ready.

But it didn't attack. instead it held up a rectangular object in its blue hoof.

Surprised at this turn of events, and even more surprised that the eye had suddenly grown hooves, the bird stood there, staring at the birdseed. waiting for it to do something. Anything. This had to be some sort of trick. It was baiting him. Trying to get him to come closer so that it could strike.

Alright then, Eyeball monster. If you want a fight, you'll get a fight. The bird took to the air, along with the rest of his family, flying out of the bird house and toward the offending creature. It exited the bird house, and swooped down on the creature. It seemed the eyeball wasn't just an eyeball after all. It was a pony. A pony bent on striking fear into him and his family. This would not stand.

As he made his way down toward the pony, he readied his beak to strike it. Him and his family moved as a unit, pecking away the pony's fur and feathers.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed as the birds from the bird house descended upon her, pecking at her with their beaks. She had only wanted to feed them. Why were they hurting her?

Fluttershy meanwhile was panicking and shooing the birds away, back into their bird house.

She looked over at Rainbow Dash, who was glaring daggers at the birds as they made their way back into their home. The rainbow maned Pegasus then turned her attention to the shy mare beside her.

"Don't even say it." she hissed at her.

"Say what?" Fluttershy said, hiding behind her mane.

"I told you so."

"Rainbow...I would never say that... although...I did."

"I told you not to say it!" with that she fell to the ground, letting her wings relax.

"I'm sorry Rainbow. Taking care of animals can be a big job sometimes. I know this was bad, but it can't be like that with every one of them. Come on, let's try again. You can read Harry a bedtime story this time, how's that?"

"Will it hurt?" Rainbow asked, groaning.

Fluttersy laughed. "I'm sure it won't."

The day went by pretty quick after that. Rainbow eventually got the hang of taking are of the animals, although the birds were reluctant to get along with her, Fluttershy did a good job at helping them make up.

It was past noon at this point, and the show was coming up soon. Rainbow suddenly remembered her words to Rarity again. She would tell all the girls.

"Hey, Fluttershy?" Rainbow called to her as they sat on her couch after the day's work was done.

"Yes, Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy answered back.

"Come with me for a minute. I have something to show you."

"A-alright but...I hope it's not scary..."

"It isn't. just come on!"

And with that, the two of them made their way out the door and down to Rarity's, Rainbow explaining everything along the way.

"No way!" Fluttershy said as they came upon the door to Rarity's boutique. "I never imagined Rarity would be doing something like that so late at night!"

"That's what I said when I found out! I swear it's the truth!" Rainbow Dash answered back.

"But...If that's the case then, that would mean that...Rarity's been keeping a secret from us! But why? We're her best friends!"

"I asked her that same question. She said that it was because we were her friends that she couldn't tell us. She thought we'd be upset with her or something."

"What? Upset? Never!"

"That's what I said!" Then she stopped. "Hold on, we're here."

Rainbow went up to the door and knocked three times.

"Rarity! Are you home? You're not sleeping again are you?"

"Coming, darling!" said a voice on the other side. Rainbow could tell it was her. She sounded...happy.

Rainbow back up and allowed the door to swing open, held there by Rarity's magic.

"Come on in, darling. Oh, I see you brought Fluttershy. How wonderful."

"She wanted to see...you know...that." said Rainbow Dash, nervously.

Rarity sighed. "Come on in, then. I suppose everypony wants to see it these days."

"What do you mean?" Rainbow whispered back.

"Sweetie Belle." Rarity said simply. "She found it. She didn't pick it up, but she kept asking questions. I had to lie and say it was similar to how spike sent letters to Princess Celestia, only in a more ladylike way of course. I ended up putting a spell on it to make it work like a normal phone for anyone who wasn't me or someone that knew my secret."

"Oh...that sounds terrible." said Fluttershy, who had been listening to the conversation without realizing it.

The three of them made their way to the very back of the boutique, where the phone was stored. Rainbow asked the question that had been on her mind ever since she arrived and found Rarity so happy.

"Another late night?" she asked, lookin suggestively at Rarity.

"You know it." she said back, winking.

"Here it is, Fluttershy." Rainbow said as Rarity unveiled the red block-like object for the third time that week.

"I am to assume you wish to try it out as well?" Rarity said, with a smile.

"Oh no...I-i couldn't..." came Fluttershy's nervous reply.

"Oh do try it out dear!" Rarity suddenly said. "I'm getting rather fond of showing it off now, and I would just love it if you would give it a go as well."

Fluttershy hesitated still more.

"Go on and try it." said rainbow, seeing the fearful look on her friend's face as she stared down at the phone.

"Al...right. I...guess i'll give it a try." Fluttershy said as she made her way over to it.

"Perfect, just perfect. Now, first you must pick it up, and search the area with your magic, then, when you get the call-"

"Yeah, yeah, Rarity, we know! Just let her try! She'll get the hang of it."

But Fluttershy was scared now. As she lowered herself far enough to where she could grab the phone, she suddenly wished Rainbow hadn't stopped Rarity's next words. What was she going to do if she messed up? Would the pony on the other end laugh at her? Would she be known as the Terrible PSO throughout all of Ponyville? Would she be forced to be a laughingstock for the rest of her life?

She took a deep breath. No. She had to do this. This is what she came here for. She was going to try the phone. And she was going to do well.

She picked up the phone. Put it to her ear, and waited.

The phone clicked, and a voice on the other end said, "Hello."

Fluttershy immediately pulled the phone away from her ear with a soft, "eep!"

She looked back to her friends for support, and a smile from each in return.

This seemed to help, as she put her ear back to the phone just in time to hear, "Um...hello? Is anypony there?"

Fluttershy steeled herself before saying, "Um...yes, somepony's here. Sorry to keep you waiting."

"It's fine. Um...sorry to skip to the point straight away but...could you maybe...help me?"

"Of course. I'll be glad to help! What do you need?"

"Well, a friend of mine has this snake. Because of an accident, it only has one eye."

"Oh no...that sound horrible!"

"Yeah...it is. He rarely eats his food, yet he always seems to have problems with being full. Is there anything that could help with that?"

"Well, If he rarely eats, there's a possibility he might be sick. And if he seems full anyway...I've got it. Get your snake, and we can take it from there."

"Okay. Hold on just a second."

suddenly, Fluttershy could hear noise on the other end, like cloth being removed from something.

"Okay, i'm back." said the voice.

"Good, now, grab hold of your snake, and just lightly stroke it. That'll help it get out whatever's stuck in its belly." She giggled. "What does your snake like to eat?"

"Well," said the voice, less composed now. "There's this hole it likes to bury itself in. It loves to fill that hole with all its favorite foods. It comes back and searches for food in there and usually comes out feeling very satisfied. I have no idea what it goes in there for though."

"Oh! well then, if the hole it like to go inside of is empty now, maybe that's why its not eating. Try filling the hole again. maybe with something warm and sticky? Snakes love warm things. Or maybe....finding a different one to use? If you fill another hole it might be able to feel satisfied with that one."

"That could work...but....what about...him feeling full..."

Fluttershy gasped. She had almost forgotten. And for some strange reason, she could hear panting on the other end. "Yes, of course, just keep stroking him until it all comes right on out! Of course, there's always the possibility, if your snake is female, that she could be pregnant. She could begin laying eggs. If that's the case she could be refusing to eat because its time for them to hatch. ...um...sir are you alright?"

"Yeah...i'm fine.You might be right. I think she is laying eggs. Two in fact."

"Oh how Wonderful. If I came to visit would you show them to me? I can't wait to hold them, care for them. keep them warm and cozy. Oh, but i'm not a snake, so i couldn't wrap around them to do that."

A thought came to the stallion's mind. 'You could wrap something around them, alright.'

Suddenly, a loud grunt could be heard from the other end of the phone. Fluttershy got scared for the stallion. "Sir? sir, are you alright?"

She could hear the panting again. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just fine... Thanks a lot for your help. My snake should be feeling all better after a while."

"Oh i'm so glad. Remember to invite me over. I want a good view of your snake whenever you have the time." Fluttershy giggled again.

"Anytime." said the voice. "Well, thanks again, goodbye."

With that, the phone hung up.

"Well then, how was it Fluttershy?" said Rarity, who had been listening to the whole conversation.

"It was great! I helped a stallion with one of his animals!"

"Animals, Fluttershy?" said Rarity, questioningly.

"Yep! he said he needed help with his snake. It's so sad that it only has one eye now after that accident."

Both Rainbow and Rarity burst out laughing at the exact same time. Fluttershy meanwhile, was clueless.

"What's wrong, girls/ Did I do something bad?"

"Fluttershy darling..." Rarity said after finally managing to calm her laughter down. Rainbow was still doubled over in the background. "Listen closely. When a stallion says his 'one-eyed snake' What do you think that means?"

"It's exactly what it sounds like. A snake with one eye. Am I wrong?"

"Fluttershy, think about what I do with that phone."

Fluttershy thought back to what Rainbow had told her about Rarity's secret. When she realized it, her face reddened. "Y-you mean...I-i just..."

"I'm afraid so dear. When a stallion refers to his one eyed snake, he is referring to his...private...area."

Rainbow had finally managed to control herself only to burst out laughing once again when she yelled out. "You just helped a stallion get off!"

Fluttershy thought about it for a moment, only to lie down and hide behind her mane. She had heard Rainbow use words like that from time to time. She knew what they meant, and so she would never use them, but the prospect of being of help to somepony must have blinded her to that.

Surprisingly, she stood up and shook it off. "Well, regardless of what exactly I helped them with, I was still of use to somepony, so there!"

She smiled as she walked off, thinking, 'I might just go see him anyway' she giggled to herself as she looked back to her friends, who stared back at her in slight disbelief.

Then Rainbow Dash remembered. "Crap! The Show!"