Rainbow Dash remembered her first piece of Wonderbolt swag. Her dad had gotten her a poster emblazoned with Spitfire herself to hang on her wall. Dash had gone to her air shows, gotten more memorabilia, and even met her in person over the course of time. That last one had been subject to much girlish squealing and fanfare on her part, especially considering her first poster was involved in a few hormonal teenage nights. Thoughts had long raced through her mind prior to meeting Spitfire at the gala. What would she be like? Strict and commanding? Cool and laid back? Alas, cozying up to the elite had prevented her from speaking much with her. Today was her chance to talk to perhaps the greatest flier in Equestria without some obligatory lip flapping to some stuffy Canterlotian. What was the real Spitfire?
A massive dork it turned out.
“A lot of ponies just go with Dee Silver’s Ponyfinder rule system, and it’s fine, I guess. It’s mostly modeled after the Daring Doo novels, and the modules are pretty good on their own, but they rely so very heavily on a fantasy setting that it sort of punishes trying to be realistic; it has to be something strange and unusual more than not. Everything is swords and sorcery and monsters. It lacks that certain... “personal touch”. Everything has to be new and fantastic, but I’m more of a grounded girl myself. I like playing the old World of Darkness game. You know, what happened if Nightmare Moon won long ago? She blessed ponies and those that drank of her blood were granted powers at the cost of never setting hoof in the sun? It has a certain realism that I like. You can be just some random jackass on the street that had the curse passed onto them, and it’s made all the better because it’s supposed to be set near the present day. In fact, it pretty much requires a more modern setting after third edition, and I like that because it allows you to be just a normal pony but a little...”
Soarin trotted back to the pair of them and waved to both Fluttershy and a stiff-legged Rarity as they entered the spa, a bag of donuts jutting out of his saddlebags. Upon seeing Dash, he mercifully extended a wing a brought her a little closer to him. “I see you got her talking about her guilty pleasure.”
“...I remember once thinking, ‘Hey, that mare’s a real straight shooter and serious enough to know what to do with her life.’”
Soarin clapped her on the shoulder. “Never meet your heroes, Dash. Life lesson.”
“Tell me about it.”
“About what?” Spitfire realized her audience had been slipping.
“Just telling Dash here about your embarrassing vampire larping days in high school.”
Spitfire narrowed her eyes and looked around. They were on the way to Berry’s Bar, but it looked like Spitfire was searching for possible witnesses. “Dash, I admit I like role playing games. Soarin knows this. Soarin also knows he will smother himself with his own pillow if he insinuates anything else.”
Soarin just shrugged.
“Okay...” Dash said.
“Good!” Spitfire about-faced and continued their trek down Ponyville’s cobblestone street, the two following close behind.
Soarin leaned close to Dash and whispered, “She knows I still have pictures.”
“You guys are a lot weirder than I thought.”
“Learn to smile for the camera, Dash. Great skill to have.”
Dash blew a strand of rainbow hair out of her eye. “Pfft. I got that down.”
“It’s not just about selling it, Dash. Anyone can fake loving the attention. You can get up, scratch your ass, get into uniform, and shovel what’s left of breakfast down your throat before smiling in front of the cameras for the next eight hours. The real trick is keeping that going the entire time when all you want to do is collapse on the couch. That’s the thing a lot of hopefuls don’t quite get. Ponies develop an image of you when they see you, and then think that defines who you are all the time.”
Dash trailed behind him a little. Spitfire seemed intent on ignoring Soarin; hopefully he’d share those photos before he left town. “I’m... sorry?”
Soarin snorted. “Relax. We all got things we don’t tell the public.”
That was something she’d never quite thought of before. Dash knew full well that she loved attention. The cheers, the adoration, the adrenaline rush from winning a race; it was her own high that never fully satisfied. She couldn’t help it; she loved being in the public eye to a fault.
Enough of those thoughts. There was half a day spent, so there was half a day left to waste. The Wonderbolts had just completed a twenty city tour and were on their way back to Canterlot; it was a perfect opportunity for Dash to chat up some of the greatest fliers in Equestria. In the spirit of camaraderie and friendship, and because travel could get quite excruciating due to their job relying heavily on their wings, the group had booked hotels in Ponyville in order to complete their return trip the next day.
Time to get wasted way too early in the day.
“Here you go, champ,” Berry Punch said and slid a cocktail down to the flame-haired pegasus.
“Can’t stay longer than a day, captain?” Dash asked.
“Sorry, Dash. Deadlines to keep, paperwork to do.” Not if she kept shotgunning booze like that.
Dash had settled on an Apple malt beer. It was barely past three in the afternoon and she was watching Spitfire downing hard liquor like a champ; it was a little early to be inhaling booze. But on the plus side: Dash had an extra bed to crash if Spitfire was too drunk to make it back to the hotel so they could chat.
‘Am I a bad pony for wishing my maybe future boss gets blackout drunk so I can drag her to my house?’
Now that she spelled it out to herself, it did sound kind of stupid.
It still felt almost surreal to be in the presence of two Wonderbolts. With equal parts fangirl squealing and shame as she recalled herself fawning over the group in the past. She’d gotten her chance to have an informal drink with the ‘bolts and didn’t want to screw it up. The Grand Galloping Gala told her how chill they actually were. No worship or brown nosing, even as much as she wanted to.
“Why pick a dive like Ponyville for the trip back? Not that I’m complaining, but there’s better options out there,” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Is it wrong to want to hang out with good company and good booze?” Spitfire asked, and some of the regulars shouted ‘Hear hear!’
“I’m not complainin’, but it just feels like there are better choices out there. I mean, you’re the Wonderbolts! Penthouses and gold bathrooms!”
“It’s not about the money, Dash,” Soarin said. “Sure, money’s awesome and everything, but we’re done with the tour and the public eye for now. Ponyville’s a small enough town where our every move is not going to make headlines and we can just chillax.”
Dash put both of her hooves up. “Agreed, money is awesome. I even had a dream as a kid where I was rich enough to buy a smelter and turned a shitload of gold into the world’s biggest bathtub.” She shook her head. “Anyway, I just figured you guys would, you know, indulge after you made it big.”
Soarin sighed. “Yeah, I indulged in my early years. I cut back real quick. Didn’t get bored or anything, but I didn’t like the limelight as much as I thought. I felt like a cockroach scuttling away from the light of every light bulb flash. Privacy is a very good thing to have, much desired when you make celebrity status.”
Spitfire downed her next glass. By Luna’s fat ass, her liver must be god-tier. She wasn’t even swaying or slurring her words. “I’m a simple girl, Dash. I don’t need all that much. I cook for myself, so good food is high on the list. As for what do I actually use the cash for? Along with all the bottles of prickly pear juice and sarsaparilla in the world, a nest egg tucked away in some stocks and bonds to coast through retirement, and the rest is dedicated to all those high class orgies I fund.”
“I gotcha.” Dash blinked. “Wait, what?”
Dash’s prospects of getting laid were sadly demolished as something was demolished. She ran out the door at the sound of destruction; smoke and shouts rose from the east after the air was cut with a rumbling in the earth and a thunderous crash of breaking wood. An equal number of ponies ran from and to the sound of danger, those fleeing for their life brushing up against those running to help.
“Here we go again,” Dash sighed as her wings unfurled and she took to the air. Ponyville was overdue for a monster attack anyway. Paper Pusher, the town’s insurance agent, was going to have a fit.
“‘Again’? What kind of hellhole is Ponyville where this is a casual affair?” Soarin shouted. Dash didn’t see if the two Wonderbolts followed her, but she heard them take to the air just like her.
Air rushed over her wings as she darted towards the smoke and sounds of destruction. She could see ponies running down the side streets like little spiders on threads of web. Those coming to assist were staying a cautious distance away until the danger could be ascertained. The flower ponies were preparing hazmat suits, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were already on their way to the Everfree Forest to chase away any frightened animals, and Mayor Mare had already assembled a fire brigade. Everyone was well practiced on what to do by now.
The source of trouble wasn’t all that hard to find. Ambrosia and her work crews were in for a treat: a sinkhole had swallowed half a house. Everything from basement to two floors of Ponyville craftsmanship were utterly destroyed in a perfect circle. She struggled to hear anything more in the sea of bedlam down below. Ears erect and searching, she heard the sound of creaking and snapping wood underneath the pillar of smoke and tumbling rock. She couldn’t tell if the pillar of smoke stemming from Ponyville’s new gaping scar was from dust and ash, or smoke from a fire. Nothing smelled like it was burning, but that could change real fast.
“No rest for the weary?” Dash asked. Soarin and Spitfire caught up to her and flanked both sides.
“We’re off duty, not heartless, Rainbow,” Soarin said. “Might as well stick around to help. This is your turf. You make the call.”
She nodded. “First thing’s first, make sure ground zero is clear and then set up a perimeter. Then we can find out what the hell happened.” There shouldn’t be a sinkhole in Ponyville. The earth it stood over was far too rocky. “Let’s check it out and meet right back here in four minutes. It’s Berry’s house, so I know she’s not in there, but better safe than sorry.”
Blue and red streaked by her side as she dove towards the collapsing house. The wood beams groaned and buckled as she landed on the top floor of the house. Soarin took the first floor while Spitfire searched the ground floor for survivors. The air was thick with dusk and smoke, but still no smell of burning. That was good. She spread a wing across her face and breathed through a veil of feathers. It wasn’t much, but it lessened her fume intake.
Sunlight poured in through the hole in the roof and reflected off the smog, turning everything a sickly brown-orange color. It stung and brought tears to her eyes as she searched. She was in what looked like the master bedroom. There wasn’t anybody there, or parts of anybody, thank the powers. In the name of thoroughness and anticipating the inherent skittish fear in most ponies, she checked under the bed and the closet. No one. Good thing Berry’s daughter didn’t play hooky today.
The earth rumbled and she struggled to find stable ground before the house settled. This was not a good place to be. “Is there anyone in here?” she called out. No one answered her. “You two find anyone?”
“No!”
“Nothing!”
Rainbow coughed and exited the bedroom, coming into a crushed narrow hallway. One wall was shakily standing, while the other buckled in on her in spots that weren’t just missing outright.
“First floor clear!” Soarin shouted. Good. Rainbow jumped as a piece of the wall collapsed away and fell into the pit. Indignant, the pit then spat something right back out.
“The hell was that?” Spitfire asked. Whatever shot right out was much too fast and tore a trail right through all the haze. No one had any time to respond; a buttery ball of fur shot right back into the destroyed building, hovering in the center of the massive hole.
There were two types of panic when it came to Fluttershy: ‘my shadow scared me’, and ‘run before it eats your face’. The look on her face was most certainly the latter.
“You need to leave! Right now!” Fluttershy urged her before shooting right back out.
Something fluttered in the dark depths of the sinkhole, fetid and rotten.
Oh crap not a sinkhole!
“Both of you, get the hell outta there!”
Dash immediately shot out of the house with Spitfire close behind. Soarin was a close third, but the rumbling underground sure lit a fire under his tail.
“Hold your breath!”
Dash did so, not knowing if her two comrades obeyed Fluttershy’s command. Dash knew she wasn’t all that smart and didn’t know much about animals, but that was enough for her to diagnose a tatzlwurm.
The three of them scattered as the tatzlwurm lashed out of its new burrow, its rank breath billowing across her fur. She felt more than saw the beast rise into the air on its great serpentine body. Its shadow blocked a vast swath of Ponyville proper, utterly dwarfing even the tallest buildings in the little berg.
Dash banked left and chanced a peek behind her. The tatzlwurm snapped at the tiny outline of Fluttershy zipping through the air like a thunderbolt. Its segmented mouth opened and it lunged at the normally timid pegasus while its many tongues lashe out. Fluttershy’s wings snapped closed and she dropped like a stone. Dash’s heart leapt into her throat, but she relaxed when she realized it was a calculated dive. The beast’s many tongues grabbed empty air and its maw snapped shut. It must have been real thirsty for the mare because it utterly ignored everything around it except for her.
Spitfire flashed to her side. She was trying to remain cool, but her eyes were wide with panic now that she saw the sheer scale of the threat. “Well... I got nothing.” She looked to Rainbow Dash for guidance.
Dash’s wings beat in time with her heart as she scanned the monster. Everything had a weakness of some kind. She just had to find it. Tazlwurms were big and scaley. She could beat her hooves against its hide all day and it would barely feel it. Its mouth was soft enough to attack, but it had those golden teeth, and tongues that would just drag her down into its gut. It looked like it had a fan of petals around its head, but she saw no use in attacking that.
‘C’mon, c’mon...’
Near the destroyed house was a large patch of scales that had been ripped off its undulating hide. It looked like it had been patched with leaves prior, but now the wound was covered in rock dust and oozing viscous unmentionables.
“There!” she shouted triumphantly.
Rainbow Dash darted forward with her two companions in hot pursuit. Fluttershy was making her own escape from the giant wurm. The beast arched its winding body to follow her and lashed out with its many tongues as the pegasus artfully dodged and weaved like a bat. Rainbow was prepared to say something as Fluttershy dove dangerously close to the ground, but her wings opened in an instant and a cushion of air stopped her fall. The dirt and dust she kicked up wasn’t nearly enough to hide her position, but it was much harder for the tatzlwurm to follow her as she shot straight up in the air; it was much too large to make sharp turns.
Rainbow Dash put the full force of her momentum behind her as she slammed into the wurm’s wounded side, followed quickly by Spitfire and Soarin. It roared less in pain and more like they tore off a bandaid stuck to some hair, but it stopped its relentless pursuit of Fluttershy. The wurm lashed out at the three of them.
They were not so lucky as the normally timid mare. They were all world-class fliers and could dodge such a beast with ease, but Spitfire faltered and fell as she caught a whiff of its disease-ridden breath.
“Gotcha Spitsy!” Soarin said as he swooped down. Rainbow snorted. What a stupid nickname.
Sniggering almost turned to fear as the wurm snapped at her with its many tongues. They weren’t a problem on their own, but each tongue was coated in a thick layer of sticky mucus that was almost like glue. Her whole body lurched as she came to a stop and she felt the creature snap its maw close on her tail. Its prey only inches away, it opened its maw for one more tug while Dash took the opportunity to lunge forward with all her might.
Boom!
It felt like she had been punched in the soul. A thunderhead shot through the air like a bullet and all but detonated right on her ass. The tatzelwurm’s pained cry was like nails on a chalkboard half a mile tall. That along with her own dash away from its mouth had sent her in a tailspin. Vertigo took her and she lost which way was up. She brought her wings tighter to her side for a more controlled spiral to the hard ground.
Dash finally managed to snap her wings open and she arched long and far, certainly out of reach of the wurrm. It shrunk back into its burrow, shaking its flowery head to dispel the crack of thunder. Fluttershy was already on her way back to the skies for another cloud, now assisted by Rainbow Dash’s own weather team. She expected the deadbeats to not even bother; it was only one monster after all.
Dash adjusted herself and launched skyward, passing over Soarin bringing Spitfire to safety. Fluttershy had already launched another cloud at the creature’s head by the time she acquired her own. The tazelwurm still released the same snarling hiss and retreated a little further into the depths at the crack of thunder. She really wanted to know why it did that, but there would be time for questions later. If it was afraid of loud noises, all the better.
It didn’t matter in the end for the monster was still slithering back at the sudden onslaught of Fluttershy’s last cloud. Rainbow didn’t question why it worked, but she held her breath once she got close enough and kicked off from the cloud. The tatzlwurm gave one final hiss and burrowed its head into town square. As it flailed and dug, it tossed up enough dirt and dust to hide Rainbow’s direct line of sight. It didn’t matter, for soon the rumbling lessened and the beast vanished as it tunneled underground.
The town started cheering as she and Fluttershy landed by Bon Bon’s candy shop. Normally fearful of attention as she was, Fluttershy’s full attention was on the destroyed house, oblivious to the cries of victory and the occasional wolf whistle.
“Hot damn!” Soarin exclaimed. He was almost carrying Spitfire. The captain was ashen faced and sweating, but otherwise appeared fine as long as she stopped looking like she’d vomit. He clapped his other hoof on Fluttershy’s back. It was almost comical the way Fluttershy turned to him and jumped, only now realizing somepony had touched her. She didn’t so much as buckle under Soarin’s brawny pat. “Fluttershy, was it? You are built like iron.”
Spitfire swallowed and added, “That was some pretty impressive flying there, Fluttershy.”
“...Thank you.”
“You okay, Flutters?” Dash asked. Fluttershy had that look like she wasn’t really paying attention to what was going on around her.
“Yeah.”
Spitfire looked from her and then back to Fluttershy. “Pretty impressive actually...” She swallowed whatever was about to come back up. “...Lot better than I thought. Got some real skill there.”
“Better than that! I’d be willing to fund a private judging for a chance for you to join us! I thought you said you couldn’t fly worth a damn. What I saw was no chick falling out of the nest.” Soarin added.
Something in his words must have snapped her out of Fluttershy’s strange dreamy state. Her wings fluttered and snapped to her sides.
“Um...”
Fluttershy’s eyes darted to the fallen captain, then to Soarin’s excitable features, and then to the crowd the four of them were slowly accumulating.
“M-miss Sp-Spitfire, th-th—”
And with that, Fluttershy ran away.
“Can you please just hurry up a little?” Spitfire tried to get up but was promptly forced back down by a bored-looking Nurse Redheart. Just once Dash wanted something like the nurse’s saddlebags to explode or something just to see if that would make her crack an expression. “In case you don’t know, the town’s got a little problem on its hand.”
“I know there is a certain bravado to Wonderbolts, but I am going to need you to please sit still for a little while longer, Miss Spitfire.”
Rainbow Dash had a cautious respect for Nurse Redheart, even when she was patching up other ponies. She had the unpleasant privilege of working the clinic most days, so it was she that had to patch up the town once they were done with whatever problem was happening each week. She honestly preferred the mare to look so soul-rendingly dead inside that the reaper might as well be peeking over her shoulder. Redheart had the unusual ability to quiet rowdy children by smiling so unpleasantly it looked like she were made of plastic. Dash considered herself a well-traveled and experienced mare, but there was something to be said about a mare that had to fix up a town like Ponyville and didn’t run for the hills.
Redheart finished taking a sample of blood and replaced the bucket Spitfire was leaning over. The pegasus didn’t get dosed bad enough to be bedridden or sent to urgent care, but she’d be out of her shows for a good week or two.
“I’ve faced worse than this,” Spitfire said.
“But you are under my roof and in my care, and will thus follow my rules until I discharge you.”
“We just went face to ugly face with a tatzlwurm, Miss Redheart,” Soarin countered. Dash just looked down and kicked her legs against her chair. Not a good idea to match wits with a Ponyville nurse.
“I pulled a bowling pin from a mare’s nether regions.”
Hmmm... that explained why Rarity was walking bow-legged.
Soarin gaped a little, stumbled for words, and then bowed to the nurse. “Anyway,” he said, giving Redheart a wary look, “by chance could we have a chat with Fluttershy later, Rainbow Dash?”
“Depends. She seemed pretty spooked this time around. I’d have to see what rock she’s hiding under this time, and that’d take some time. Might not find her by tomorrow.”
Soarin waved her off. “Nah, nah, nah. That’s not the only point. I saw Fluttershy fly before. Hated to say it, but she wasn’t that good, at least that’s what I thought until today. She needs a lot of work, but she’d make a damn fine flier and could even be Wonderbolt material in about two years or so. Thing is, how’d she go from that she little filly that I saw to practically flying circles around us?”
“I mean, she wasn’t good enough to fly circles around all of us, she just knew what—”
“Daaaaash?” Spitfire said slowly.
“Yes, mom?” Spitfire rolled her eyes. Dash added, “She won’t join up. I can promise you that already.”
“I don’t believe we’ll be able to convince her either,” Spitfire said.
“Really?” If anything, she expected Spitfire to press Fluttershy joining up even more. “Then why do you want to talk to her?”
“On the off chance I’m wrong. She’s a good flier, Rainbow Dash. I’d at least like to try. Regardless, one thing at a time. The tatzlwurm comes first.”
Well, she knew Fluttershy’s usual spots. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too hard to smoke her out after dealing with something as big as the wurm, but Fluttershy had a fondness for all critters, no matter how big or house-eating they were.
Redheart finished her cataloging and the last few notes on her paperwork. She handed Spitfire a slip of paper. “Prescription for the nausea. I recommend a week’s worth of bedrest, but since I know you’re not going to listen to me once you leave this room, you’re officially discharged until you limp back.”
Redheart watched the group of ponies leave her room. Reaching under the surgical table for a water bottle, she unscrewed the cap and gulped down the clear, refreshing taste of chilled vodka. It was a trick she learned from Cherilee, whom also had to deal with an overabundance of stress and children all day.
She was a Ponyville nurse, and thus had seen many things over many years. It didn’t help that a window glint or a breaking clay pot made her dive for cover on occasion, but she found comfort in the small town, even if she was sick of dealing with its shit on certain days. Blood, sweat, and bodily fluids leaking all over the floor? Homemade fireworks? So routine the nurses had their own codes for them. Ancient chthonic and demonic demigods wreaking havoc? Ponyville rebuilt itself in a week. But giant sandworms burrowing under the town and eating houses?
“That’s a new one.”
She looked out the window and saw the smoke wafting from town. No doubt Doctor Stable would be nowhere to be found through this crisis, just like the last three. Or maybe he was trying to sweet talk another intern. The unspoken rule in the hospital was every patient is an idiot until proven otherwise. Sometimes that also applied to staff.
She stashed her bottle of totally legit water away. She remembered the two stallions that made her now carry the bottle to work every day. The first was a young buck that approached her during clinic hours, who must have been either a traveler or somepony with one hell of a death wish to try and start something when she had an hour left. Clinic duty was where hope went to die.
“What do you call nuts on the wall?” he said.
He must have taken her attempt to make him explode with her mind as an answer, because he quickly followed it up. “Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest?”
She knew. She also knew the end of this was probably going to make her want to curl up in a ball and cry. “Sir, do you have—”
“Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin?”
“...”
“There’s a dick in your mouth.” And with that, he turned around and left.
She was still contemplating how to respond when a second stallion delicately trundled in and said, “There’s a baseball in my ass.”
Every nurse had vices. Sweetheart smoked, Tenderheart had a stash of dirty mags, and Redheart had the one liver to rule them all. Stable even listed her bloodtype as “Ethanol.”
She trotted to the breakroom. The tiny Nursery Rhyme was sleeping on the couch, snoring loudly. Despite being a nineteen year old intern that looked more like she was nine, Redheart didn’t dare wake her up. Nursery had the unenviable task of being the only nurse on duty all night. That alone was enough for all the other nurses to avoid her for fear of being drowned in a bedpan. Redheart retrieved her bag and pulled out a ghillie suit before exiting. She was applying face paint when she passed Sweetheart haunting the lobby.
“Taking a half day, Sweetheart.”
“We’re going to need you here. Somepony resurrected in the morgue again and they’re spewing this gross shit everywhere—”
“Half day.”
“Go sit on a scapel and rotate.”
The oddly intimidating nurse had one thing right: Spitfire was totally not going to back down while Ponyville was still actively threatened by some burrowing monster. The first step was to find out where the wurm was, and in order to do that, they started where it burrowed deep underneath the earth. As much as Spitfire wanted to fly there, her stomach was having none of it and forced them to gallop back to town to deal with the creature once and for all. The Wonderbolts were mostly show fliers now, but there was no way in hell she’d let them back down from an imminent threat.
Tremors shook the earth, most strong enough to cause damage and make ponies fall, some benign enough to do no more than rumble. Ponyville would have to take care of their own for now. She couldn’t tell if the tremors meant it was backing off or burrowing around for another strike, but either way it had to stop.
“You gonna hold up, cap’n?” Dash asked.
Spitfire nodded. She was sweating and woozy from the wurm’s diseased breath. “Feels like a hangover without all the fun parts. Don’t worry. I’ve dealt with worse and will tell you if it gets any worse.”
Dash paused for just a second before nodding. There was no time to argue. Sick or not, Dash had to know she would need help and Spitfire knew it. Regardless, if she was too weak to muscle through an inconvenience like this, then she had no business being a Wonderbolt in the first place.
They parted only briefly so Dash could race to her house and acquire some glowsticks; all the aerial skill in the world would do them no good if they couldn’t see underground. Spitfire forced the roiling mass in her stomach to settle as they waited at the gouge in the earth leading to parts unknown. She could feel a slight breeze from the dark depths along with the faintest wisp of moisture and fetid air.
“I’m gonna die as I was born: diving screaming through a deep, dark hole,” said Soarin.
Spitfire unfurled a wing and punched him in the gut. He was still wheezing as Rainbow returned with a bunch of rave necklaces.
“Dash?” she said questioningly.
“What?” Dash exclaimed. “It was all I had, and I had a shitload of them when I woke up after the party.”
Perhaps she was just out of touch with what today’s youth did for fun, but she was pretty sure you had to flash something to get one of them.
“Whatever. Can anyone think of anything else we’ll need?”
“Nope.”
“Nada.”
Once more unto the breach.
Spitfire’s ears folded back as she stepped into the great hole. They all cracked their necklaces and hung them around their necks, and unpleasant task for Spitfire because hers felt a little sticky. The topsoil was moist and clumpy, but the tunnel still sprinkled dust and dry sand on her head. Despite the tatzlwurm’s smooth outer exterior, they still had to deal with dips and gouges on their path downward. There was just enough of an angle for them to stumble with each step when they didn’t fly, a blessing that most certainly agreed with her angry stomach. Spitifre wondered why the wurm didn’t dig straight down, but now that she thought about it, if it encountered a cavern of considerable size, digging straight down would cause it to fall straight on its face. For a brief moment, she dared hope that their adventure would have such an uncinematic end so they could go back to the hotel and chillax, but another tremor dashed that hope.
Heh, a tatzlwurm. Spitfire had heard Ponyville had troubles with monsters, but the reality could never prepare her for the reality of what it was like. She expected the occasional timberwolves, cloud gremlins, and diamond dog tribes to give the little hamlet trouble and be chased off by the Royal Guard or impromptu militias. Little things that weren’t too much trouble to deal with. This town was reacting to a colossal, house-eating, pony-squishing monster with an almost drab, unremarkable mundanity.
Spitfire read a lot of horror during her gaming days, with a focus on horror during her... ugh, “Dementia Ravenwing” phase. Fear and a sense of death made losing characters all the more real, but it was far more terrible to have some unspeakable horror happen to player characters rather than just killing them outright. In Ponyville, everyone seemed to have completely lost that primordial terror. The threat of death was little more than a minor annoyance.
This town was fucking weird.
Something moved...
“Gah!”
Spitfire’s wings snapped open upon Dash’s cry. A seemingly normal patch of rock and earth and darted forth and wrapped around Dash’s neck. Soarin acted faster than she did and dove for the mare before Dash was shoved into him, sending both tumbling to the ground.
“Rainbow Dash?” mumbled a voice.
Oh, it was going to be one of those days.
The mass of dirty rock and dirt moved and in its place was the painted fur of the nurse she had just met not half an hour ago. Almost her entire face was painted browns, blacks and greens and her entire body was covered in a sandy ghillie suit that perfectly camouflaged her if she lay still on the dirt floor. A large tactical knife was in her mouth, an item she thankfully sheathed. She carried with her a pair of dark brown saddlebags covered loosely by the ghillie frills.
“I didn’t expect you to be here,” Redheart said after helping them both up.
“What in the ever-burning seven hells made you think that after we fought the wurm in the first place?” Dash screeched.
“I had you pegged to gather the rest of your friends and equip yourselves before coming down here. It wasn’t a wise tactical move to come here without any form of equipment or a plan. You need to be more careful.”
“And it wasn’t careful to attack ponies you knew and not a monster?” Soarin questioned after brushing himself off.
“The last time I wasn’t careful, I had to remove half a kilogram of lead shot from my hindquarters with nothing but my knife and two bottles of whiskey. I heard you around five minutes ago and I set a trap. It is better to be prepared for an attack than to let your guard down. I was more concerned about something else coming rather than a bunch of ponies. Reminds me of some of the warbeasts I had to fight during the war.”
“What—” Spitfire began before Redheart made eye contact and her argument vanished in a puff of smoke. “Nevermind. Alright, so I assume you’re here to deal with the taztlwurm?”
“Affirmative.” Huh. Military gear and ticks all tied up in a neat little thousand-yard stare bow. “We should move. If it was injured, it would have dug just far enough to have time to lick its wounds.”
Redheart ignored the few mumbles of protest and just walked down the bumpy tunnel.
“She really doesn’t take no for an answer, does she?” Spitfire asked.
“I didn’t see you stayin' when she told you to stay put at the hospital,” Dash responded. She had her there.
With little else to do, Spitfire occupied herself with analyzing her new companion. Other than the paint, knife, and ghillie suit, Redheart was stocked with full combat barding and saddlebags. She carried a holstered flare gun on her right foreleg with a small bandolier of flares wrapped around her withers. By Luna’s fat ass, civilians were armed like a paramilitary outfit!
What stuck out to her was Equestria hadn’t had an official military presence anywhere in hundreds of years. What was Redheart talking about then, if her implications were true?
“Miss Redheart, was it?” Spitfire asked. The nurse looked over her shoulder. “What war were you talking about, exactly?”
“That’s classified.”
For once, Spitfire had no idea if she was serious or bullshitting.
Soarin seemed to have similar ideas and cozied up to Rainbow Dash. “Quick question, Dashie. Is there like a public fund or Royal Insurer or something that looks over monster damage?”
“Sure. Pencil Pusher had a permanent office in town. It’s his job to chat up those involved in monster attacks.”
“Meaning us?”
“Meaning I’ll avoid him for a few days until he gets irritating, but yeah. We’re used to this sort of thing by now.”
‘Oh, no worries, Berry! Your house was eaten by a giant sand worm! Sit down and have a nice carbonated water. We’ll have this fixed up in a jiffy. There’s only four destroyed houses this week.’
Herd instinct made Ponyville residents panic about the most benign crap imaginable, but monsters? Eh, routine. Insurance premiums must be off the chain here.
“You know, threat of town sinking into the ground kind of reminds me of that time we had cloud gremlins eating at the base of Cloudsdale. Place almost plopped right through the clouds,” Soarin added.
“Aw, that’s nothin’.” Dash laughed. “You shoulda been here for the parasprites. Half the town was eaten down to the frame before Pinkie got rid of them. Never did find out what happened to them afterwards...”
“Shoulda visited Neigh Vegas three years back. We were doing a show before the stadium suddenly became infested by fire-spitting golden geckos. Half the stadium got torched before we finished them off.”
“Pfft. Try being at ground zero when Discord woke up all cranky.”
A dick-measuring contest it was, then.
“Well, we had fun of our own when Dizzy started throwing a hissy fit,” Spitfire added. “Cloudsdale suddenly became a giant fishtank and we were all turned into seaponies.”
“I still have a seapony fang stuck near my spine. It keeps me up at night,” the nurse added.
“That doesn’t surprise me, Redheart. Anyway, real problem were all the sharks and the thousand Discord-shaped fishers trying to catch ponies as they swam by.”
“Kill the lights!” Redheart hissed. Glow sticks were quickly squirreled away in saddlebags.
With the darkness so omnipresent, Spitfire had completely missed that the tunnel they were traversing was nearing its end. The tunnel opened up into a modestly large cavern if the echoes were any indication. Her eyes had adjusted to the dark enough that even the dim glow leaching from her saddlebags was enough to tell her that the area they had stumbled into was far larger than a simple burrow. They stood on a small terrace of precarious stone where they could look out onto the cavern floor, and much farther was completely swallowed by the darkness. Beneath them, something slithered and hissed in the great darkness.
Redheart ninja vanished. Spitfire’s ears perked; something moved. She smelled something different, earth and the musk of animals coupled with the distinct flutter of wings.
Something was coming closer from below, mercifully something pony sized. Fluttershy beat her wings and settled upon the precarious terrace with the rest of them. She carried with her a jar of fireflies to see in the oppressive blackness, and while she was covered in dirt and grime, she was none the worse for wear.
“Redheart, wherever you are, put the knife away,” Dash whispered as she rushed forward and nuzzled Fluttershy. “What are you doing here, Flutters?”
A suspiciously-shaped rock behind Fluttershy suddenly became the face of Redheart. Fluttershy returned the quick nuzzle of affection, but jumped away when she realized that they were not alone. She squeaked like a mouse and backed up into Redheart, leaving one very startled-looking mare facing down three more ponies that she wasn’t familiar with.
“Fluttershy, easy!” Dash said under her breath. “They’re cool. We’re just here to see what’s goin’ on.”
Soarin held up a hoof and added, “And have a chat about your flying if we can squeeze that in.”
Fluttershy’s fur looked puffed out like a startled cat. At least she hadn’t bolted. A promising sign. Slowly but surely Fluttershy relaxed. “I-I-I’m sorry, you just scared me.”
Rainbow waved her it off. In its own way, Spitfire found Fluttershy’s behavior strangely endearing, like a fearful kitten not realizing he is hissing at his own reflection.
“And I’m sorry for running out on you. I had to deal with the tatzlwurm and I... don’t like crowds and I had to take care of him and—”
But there was only so much one pony would take before throwing a pillow at said cat. “I hate to interrupt, Fluttershy, but we are a little pressed for time. The tremors aren’t stopping on the surface.” Soarin mouthed ‘Deal with?’ to her questioningly.
Even though it didn’t sound like the tatzlwurm was moving, on cue, the earth around them jostled and coated them all in a fine layer of dust.
“We need to take care of the tatzlwurm and now,” she finished. “Anypony got any ideas?”
Fluttershy raised a hoof. Jeez, she was a doormat.
“This isn’t school, Fluttershy,” Dash said.
“That’s right, you’re an animal wrangler of some kind,” said Soarin.
Fluttershy nodded. “I’ve been taking care of this one so it wouldn’t... well, do exactly what happened today. It wasn’t my fault!”
Soarin was about to say something, but Spitfire held up a hoof to quiet him. Redheart turned an ear to the darkness as Spitfire gestured to Fluttershy to continue.
“Steve Magnet told me that one of his water reservoirs drained and I investigated and found the wurm. It was injured and driven off by something else, and I don’t know how to talk to one of them yet, but it let me tend to its wounds. It was actually kind of fascinating to see up close. I didn’t know tatzelwurms were a symbiotic lifeform, a cross of flowers and burrowers.”
That explained the leaves. Fluttershy had been bandaging its wounds. ALso, what the hell kind of nightmare was strong enough to roll up its sleeves in the presence of a tatzelwurm and think, ‘This is going to be a good idea?”
“Rarity had told me when we were in the spa that she had been prospecting for gems earlier that day, but almost encountered some Diamond Dogs. They were burrowing closer to the tatzlwurm and were going to wake it up at their pace. That’s when I left, but by then it was too late.”
Spitfire interjected, “Okay, that explains why it’s here, but how do we get rid of it? Did you see any kind of weakness or something?”
The little mare held a hoof to her chin and pondered for a moment. “Maybe. Sorta, I think it will work.”
Spitfire impatient rolled her hoof for her to continue.
Fluttershy’s ear folded. “S-sorry. They don’t like loud sounds or strong vibrations, but we don’t have anything big enough to scare it. But plants are susceptible to extreme temperatures, which is why tatzelwurms live in moderate climate.” she gestured to her throat. “The plant’s almost merged with its entire head, but you can see it in the red frill. Tatzelwurms hate the cold.”
“Too bad we don’t have a canyon full of ice for emergencies.” Spitfire took a moment to consider her statement before turning to Redheart. “Do you?”
“No.”
Rainbow Dash’s gasp almost made her jump. “Yes we do! Well, not a boatload of ice, but we’ve got plenty of clouds! They’re cold enough!”
Spitfire facehoofed. Clouds were just above freezing temperature. “...That could actually work.” They had four pegasi to work with. “If we can lure this thing to somewhere where it won’t just undermine the entire town, we can wrangle it with clouds. Even if we get it settled right here, it’s still too close to Ponyville’s foundations. It has to move, and we have to get it moving.”
“It’s not going to like that...” Fluttershy warned.
“I get the feeling neither am I. Do these caverns and tunnels lead to somewhere far enough away from town?”
“Ghastly Gorge,” Redheart droned.
“Yeah! There’s plenty of room there. There’s a few hundred Quarray eels there, but this guy’s half again as big so we’ll have no prob,” chimed in Dash.
Only fifty percent bigger? This town was less a festive fair and more a carnival of horrors.
“The only problem is just getting there.” Redheart, ever the downer. “I don’t know the way from here. Plus, I expect at least half of us will die in the attempt.”
“I know the way. Rarity keeps a map of the underground. I know where to go,” Fluttershy said.
Dash hugged her. “Remind me to give you a kiss when we get out of here, Shy.”
Fluttershy flushed and turned her head away while Spitfire was busily working through the variables. They needed to lure the wurm away through pitch black tunnels that only one of them knew, and then calm it down with the voodoo that Shy do. They also needed enough clouds to make it back down in case it got enraged, and that’s not even covering how they were to get it to move in the first place.
“So what’s the plan, cap?” Dash stood at attention, as erect as any recruit in her ranks. She’d make a Wonderbolt out of her yet.
“Right.” Spitfire rubbed her forehooves together. “It was too sunny out earlier. We don’t have enough clouds on hoof, so we’ll need a lot of them, and we’ll need them fast. Dash, I need you to head back up the tunnel and gather enough clouds around this Ghastly Gorge in order to neutralize the tatzelwurm. I’d rather have too many than not enough.”
“You want us to split up?”
“Have to, Dash. No one can make a dent in its hide to make it back off. If Fluttershy’s right, that’s the only way to get it to back down. If there aren’t any clouds near Ghastly Gorge once we get there, we are all dead.”
Dash gulped grimly, but nodded. Spitfire turned her attention to Redheart. “That thing work?” She nodded toward the holstered flare gun.
“Always.” Spitfire got the strange feeling Redheart somehow killed someone with it.
“Good. We’re going to need it for light down here. You’re going to have the second most dangerous job next to Fluttershy.”
“I’ve evaded death long enough. If the reaper draws my name, I’ll meet him gladly.”
“Yeah. Awesome.” Best not to think about it. “Fluttershy, the lion’s share of this is going to fall on you. You know the underground, and you know best how to deal with the wurm. Can you calm it down enough in order to lead it to Ghastly Gorge?”
Their shaky platform trembled as the underground shook with another tremor. The four of them, minus Redheart, jumped as the stale cavern was cut with a sound like a small explosion. A section of rock must have broken off either the wall or ceiling and smashed into the cave floor. The tatzelwurm hissed and roared, its damage to the surrounding area only serving to anger it even further.
“I d-don’t think so. I c-can’t understand it as it is, and it’s too angry right now.”
“Okay. That means Plan B: we need to bait it to Ghastly Gorge. Soarin and I can help corral it if need be, but we don’t know the way, and Redheart can’t fly—”
“I’ll do it.”
Whether it was the desperation of the current situation, the potential fallout of a rogue creature, or delighting at the challenge, Spitfire didn’t know the source of the sudden change that overcame the mare. She’d been inexperienced but confident before. Down here in the caves, she was spooked, but laser-focused, completely fixated on solving the situation. There was fear in her eyes, but also steeled nerves that come when a pony is ready to make their stand.
Spitfire smiled and said, “There’s more to you than I thought.”
The group relaxed slightly before she continued. “Alright. Fluttershy, you’re going to have to be the bait. Soarin and I can irritate it enough to get it moving, but we’re going to need it to follow you at all costs. I saw you had some moves on the surface. Whatever skills you got hiding, pull out all the stops. We’re going to need you to lead while Soarin and I corral the beast as needed.”
“Right.”
“Redheart, I’ll need your flare gun.”
Redheart shook her head. “The moment it goes after you, you won’t be able to light the way for anyone but yourself. Drop me on its back and I can ride it and shoot flares as needed with a wider field of view. Plus, I don’t think you’re going to fly nearly as well with a bandolier and a gun that needs constant reloading.”
“Fair enough. Think you can stay on?”
“Of course.”
“Shout or something if you fall off just in case. If everything goes blind, we’re all dead. Soarin—”
“Try to pull off a Charlie Horse followed by a Crazy Ivan as needed?”
“Yup. Be as big of a pain in the ass until we get it following Fluttershy again. Dash, you know what to do on your end. Any questions?”
Spitfire was met with silence and more crashing rock as the beast began to move. “Alright, no pussyfootting! Let’s go!”
Spitfire and Soarin each grabbed Redheart’s side and took to the air as Dash dashed off. Fluttershy flanked them as Redheart loaded a flare and shot it into the darkness with a crack. The projectile combusted and bathed both walls of the cavern in a brilliant red glow. The tatzelwurm writhed at the sudden onslaught of light and sound. Redheart put up a head wrap over her mouth to protect herself from breathing in the noxious monster. Spitfire’s own nausea reared itself at the memory, but she did her best to force it back down under a burst of adrenaline and resolve.
The tatzelwurm turned its mighty head and snapped at the falling flare. The light went dark as its massive body began to flex and coil, but the image of the cave was still burned into her eyes. She and her friend sailed just enough to drop Redheart onto the monster’s frill. She was so tiny in comparison to the monster that it didn’t even seem to notice her landing on its thick hide.
Another crack and a flare shot into the air in front of the monster’s head. Fluttershy zoomed down and batted her wings in front of its head. Its entire head split with a disgusting squelching noise and a half dozen tentacles shot forth to ensnare the pony. Fluttershy’s wings snapped to her sides, swooping like a bat. She held her breath as she passed right under the wurm’s flowering head and darted forward.
Spitfire kept a careful distance away, weaving between stalagmites and falling debris. The beast slithered and snapped at Fluttershy again, but surprise had given the pegasus enough of a lead to avoid the strike. As big as it was, an experienced flier would be able to outmaneuver it with ease, but down in the dark and restrictive cave, a tatzelwurm had a distinct advantage.
It smashed through a large column of rock and slithered across the ground, pursuing its new prey. Another crack of the flare and the cavern was bathed in a fresh burst of red, but by now it was picking up enough speed to outrun it in seconds. She and Soarin both took wingman positions relative to its giant head. Spitfire saw a large stone overhang as the light began to fade. In unison, the three pesagsi folded their wings and dropped like stones, preserving speed but losing altitude. Fluttershy banked right and then an even quicker left to avoid a pair of stone columns. The tatzelwurm just smashed through them, peppering the air with stone projectiles.
A quick snap and the three of them resumed their trek into the dark under Redheart’s careful guidance. The nurse must have been at worst a gnat to the burrower if it didn’t realize it had an uninvited guest hitching a ride. The earth pony held on for dear life to the monster’s reddish frills between reloads.
Spitfire’s eyes returned to Fluttershy. It was obvious she had no formal training. At best her movements were sloppy, but there was no denying she had plenty of raw talent. Even as she soared through the cavern by her old friend’s side, she admired Fluttershy’s inherent skills. It was drilled into new recruits to use their wings above all else, as that was their primary resource for maneuvering through the air, but Fluttershy’s hooves clattered off rocks, columns, and even the ceiling in order to readjust her momentum and trajectory on the fly. There was something almost feral in her movements, animalistic even. She looked like a predator.
A cry of pain caught her attention; Soarin dropped. The stallion had the good sense to adjust his fall hard to land on the wurm’s back. While it granted him the ability to keep up with her and the tatzelwurm, it also potentially exposed him to its foul breath.
As Redheart launched another flare, Spitfire saw the slick sheen coating some feathers. He’s taken a hit from falling rocks. He immediately lost his footing when he landed on its undulating and squirming back, but Redheart launched herself, catching a foreleg.
This had the unfortunate problem of yanking on its frills, and while it may have not noticed her comrades’ steps, it certainly noticed that.
Redheart hid under a separate frill and shoved Soarin off its back. It was already turning its head to see what was the problem, but Redheart was too far up its segmented body for it to see. Its head split open and its many tongues lashed out for attackers. Spitfire completely lost sight of Redheart under the flare’s dying light and her own worry for Soarin. He was also nowhere to be seen and she hadn’t seen him fly to a safer position. If one of those sticky tongues latched onto either of them, its saw-like teeth would shred them to pieces.
Time for a Charlie Horse.
There was no way her own piddly weight would do any damage to it, and she couldn’t see its wound anymore. The only thing guiding her was her own rave necklace as the flare wouldn’t even illuminate a darkroom anymore. She shot forward and smashed her full weight into its topmost jaw. She managed to snap it shut, just enough to throw its head off-kilter, but doing no real damage to it whatsoever.
A blast of red light made her shout in pain. By sheer luck when the tatzelwurm moved to swallow her, her fall made her dodge its many tongues. Redheart had fired the flare into the cave wall, but blinded Spitfire and nearly shot her in the process.
Warm hooves damp with blood caught her. “Gotcha Dementia!”
If they weren’t flying for their lives, she would have kicked him in the balls.
She heard snapping and hissing as her vision cleared. As undignifying as it was, she turned her head and started retching. As small as her exposure had been, she’d been dosed a second time by the monster’s noxious breath.
“Suck it up! We’ve got work to do!”
Fluttershy had taken care of the Crazy Ivan portion of their role; it was already snapping and howling at her. As her vision cleared, Spitfire saw Fluttershy barrel roll around its flailing head and lashing tongues, doing her best to be as annoying as possible to the enraged beast. Just as she’d gotten enough of a lead, Fluttershy dashed back down her original path under the guiding light of a fresh flare.
Swallowing back the next wave of bile, Spitfire lurched out of Soarin’s grasp and tried to catch up. The two of them had fallen behind and now Fluttershy was dealing with the situation all on her own. In an impressive feat of aerial acrobatics, Fluttershy skidded across the ceiling upon coming to a two-way split in the path and headed down the left.
It was a dead end.
She should have splattered all over the cave wall at those speeds. By right, death would have taken her soul that day.
Fluttershy flipped herself ass over teakettle until all four hooves were facing the cave wall. Her wings snapped open to catch a cushion of air and her weight was distributed across all four hooves as she collided with the wall. It should have caused her a world of hurt to come to a dead stop at such speeds, but those buttery wings flew open in a flash and she darted away at a right angle.
The tatzelwurm was not nearly so maneuverable. Its titanic bulk smashed into the cave wall with the force of a dozen freight trains. Pain stabbed at Spitfire’s skull as the sound of exploding rock cut through the tight cavern. Even Soarin’s flight dipped.
Daylight cut her eyes and stale cave air was replaced by the smells of dew and clean breezies.
“Redheart!” Soarin shouted. She was nowhere to be seen under the veil of dust the monster kicked up.
“Mow though!” Spitfire shouted.
“But Redheart!” Soarin protested.
“You want to be trapped under falling rocks? Mow through! Redheart can take care of herself!”
She banked left as a boulder the size of a carriage fell where her wing had been only a heartbeat ago. Large chunks of the cave were collapsing as the last coils of the wurm slithered through the gap. Daylight was instantly muted as it passed, sediment and falling debris turning the available light into a hazy sheen. Even the burning red of Redheart’s flare struggled to pierce the veil.
Spitfire bit the bullet and flapped her wings as hard and fast as she could. Her only hope was to cut through as much of the newly made cave opening as she could and pray she wouldn’t be crushed on the way out. She closed her eyes as much as she dared to prevent dust from getting in her eyes. Her vision became muted, but all she could hear was the unending crashing of stone against stone as part of the cave system collapsed on itself.
A bubblegum pink blur shot right past her, scattering the dust. On instinct more than any real rational thought, Spitfire followed her through with Soarin at her heels. Fresh oxygen, the first dose in what felt like forever, pushed back the nausea and vertigo eating at her queasy stomach. Fate took a cruel turn and in that moment, even though she was flying true, it felt like gravity suddenly reversed.
Vertigo took her and she dropped. Sparin caught her again, but just as quickly they were blasted with moisture. Did it swallow her? No, she was wet and cold, not sticky.
Soarin guided them through the dust cloud and far up into the air as the tatzlwurm’s piercing shrieked and she saw the damage. A cloud launched like a bullet at its head. It didn’t sound pained, but it sure didn’t like being surrounded by the thick mist.
Her head was swimming like no one’s business, but she tried to get a hold of the situation. They were in a large canyon in what she assumed to be Ghastly Gorge. Yellow and red rock stood towering on either side of her as Soarin raised them higher and higher, away from the fight. Rocky crags cast them in shadows but the light was that of the sun.
Fluttershy corkscrewed into the heavens and collected one of Dash’s assembled clouds. As it reared back for another strike, it earned another faceful of clouds. It released the same snarling hiss and retreated a little further into the depths. Fluttershy retreated for another cloud as Dash lined up her shot and kicked off from the cloud. The tatzlwurm gave one final hiss and slithered back into the shattered cave.
“Hot damn!” Soarin exclaimed. “I admit my butthole puckered up a little there, but that was fun!”
Rainbow Dash sorted out the rest of the cleanup duty while Fluttershy watched over the tatzelwurm’s new temporary home, at least after she corralled the Cutie Mark Crusaders from chasing Timberwolves riled up from the tremors. There was no way she was getting anywhere near that thing, but her friend was confident that her hospice would be enough to heal its wounds and send it on its way. Dash admitted that even by Ponyville standards, Fluttershy’s opinion of what was and was not safe was a little skewed, but none knew monsters better.
They’d settled back at Fluttershy’s cottage, Spitfire much too sick to complain about their accommodations. Redheart was sporting a wicked awesome scar across her face now, but was none the worse for wear, and didn’t prescribe Spitfire anything more than a slightly stronger dose for the disease-infested breath. With Fluttershy’s remedies, her hopefully future boss would be back on her hooves in a few days.
Redheart was called back to work due to some problems with the morgue or something, leaving the four of them nursing a home remedy of Fluttershy’s. Spitfire was nestled in Fluttershy’s guest bedroom. She was ashen-faced and sweating, but otherwise in good spirits.
“Now that everything’s settled, I’ve gotta question for you, Fluttershy.”
“You want to know why I can fly so good?” Fluttershy asked timidly.
“More or less.”
“...It started with the rainboom.” Fluttershy wasn’t making eye contact with any of them. “I was always a little scared of others. I have social anxiety and I just kind of... freeze when other people watch me. I was never a good flier and other foals at Flight Camp always made fun of me for it. A sort of psychological block. It didn’t help that Flight Camp was a breeding ground for sociopaths.”
Someone was still a little bitter after fifteen years.
Soarin looked like he was about to protest the comment, but was given a nudge to quiet himself by Spitfire. The Wonderbolts tended to gather new recruits from Flight Camp. Spitfire nodded for her to continue.
Fluttershy drew circles in her floor with a forehoof. “I moved as soon as I could to a quiet town where I could focus on my work with animals. Animals treated me better than any of the other foals, and I liked taking care of them. In Ponyville, I could focus on my talents, and as an added bonus, I didn’t need to fly all that much because it already had a weather team and Rainbow moved to town with me.”
Fluttershy gave Dash a grateful smile, which made her puff out her chest a little in pride. Why wouldn’t she? They were friends to the end.
“Over time, the animals came to me as, um... Harry likes to exaggerate a little.”
Soarin looked at Dash with a raised eyebrow. “A brown bear,” she clarified. He seemed to think she was joking.
Fluttershy nodded, but looked a little bashful. “I s-suppose he’s the reason all the other animals came to me for help. Harry exaggerates, but he started calling me the warden of the Everfree Forest after I rescued him from a mother bear protecting her cub. He woke up and the mother thought he was going after her cub. I had to wrestle her into submission in order to get him out safely. He got hurt in the process, so I teach him how to wrestle and massage his back every week.”
Soarin held up a hoof.
“Steve Magnet the sea dragon told me about some herbs I could dry and burn for pain relief, so I swim with him on occasion. He’s really helped me map out the forest. He’s so nice; I really don’t know why ponies are scared of sea dragons.”
Spitfire also looked like she wanted to say something, but kept silent. She appeared to be having an intense debate on deciding whether it was Harry exaggerating or Fluttershy herself.
“That’s sort of what made me, uh...” Fluttershy blinked cutely trying to come up with the proper word. “...helped my, I don’t know, business? I think? It helped my business take off. I realized how much I liked animals and helping them during the Rainboom, but for once in my life, I was happy with a quiet life. On occasion I’ll have to fly away from a few hives of enderhornets or the occasional pack of timberwolves. Last week I had to wrestle a few timberwolves because my wings were tired from swimming with Steve Magnet. I had to ask a manticore to give me a ride on his back to make it to my cottage before dark.”
Her two guests were quiet, slackjawed. Both realized how little of her bulk was not fur, but hard, corded muscle. Fluttershy blinked and shrunk a little bit at their silence. “They were just pups. They didn’t know any better. I gave their parents a good talking to.”
“And then?” Rainbow prodded.
“Oh. Oh! Sorry, I didn’t mean to get so carried away. Anyway, I just sort of adapted my flying skills to work for my job as an animal caretaker. I learned how to swim like a dragon, swoop like a bat, hunt like a wolf. I needed to learn from them in order to care for them. I, uh.” She looked at herself, acknowledging her own impressive bulk. She was slightly smaller than Soarin, but still matched him in body mass. “I’d gotten a little, teeny, tiny bit stronger and faster in order to be able to keep up with so many creatures. They’re really nice once you get to know them, and I’ve learned so much about how to keep the bad monsters out of town. I know it seems more like an earth pony’s job than a pegasus’, but I like it. I like keeping my hooves on the ground. I like flying, but I like it because it helps with my job, but because I, um... I don’t mean to be insensitive, but not because I should just because I am a pegasus. That’s why I sorta did what I did earlier today. I flew not because I wanted to, but because I needed to.”
Soarin still seemed a little hung up on Fluttershy’s claims, but Spitfire appeared much more contemplative. Fluttershy was, in just about every since of the word, a coward. Dash was enough of a realist to admit that, and even Fluttershy acknowledged her own irrational fears. The linchpin, the key that defined Fluttershy’s skills wasn’t aptitude, but desire.
“You’re quite a good flier, Fluttershy. Really good, when you put your mind to it. And that’s me saying that.” It was the first thing Spitfire said since Fluttershy started her tale. Rainbow Dash fully expected Fluttershy to swear up and down she wasn’t, but she continued to surprise her.
“Th-thanks, Miss Spitfire. I’ve tried out for flying stuff before with Rainbow Dash, but I... don’t... like it all that much and did it only because Rainbow Dash asked me. I’m sorry Rainbow, I don’t say it to hurt your feelings or anything—”
“Water under the bridge, Flutters. We’ve been over that before and it’s okay.”
Part of being in the limelight was the ability to take a punch, and while Fluttershy could probably eat a punch along with a brick, Fluttershy’s self esteem and ego were too fragile to make a Wonderbolt, despite her skill.
“Right. Sorry.” Fluttershy returned her attention to Spitfire. “Anyway, I could never do anything good with eyes on me. I just... shrink. It’s like the world gets so big and and then starts suffocating me. All those eyes on me, judging me, some of them calling me names...”
Her voice softened with each word until it was little more than a squeak. Ears folded, shoulders hunched, and her tail stood unmoving between her legs. In the very next instant, Fluttershy took a deep breath and raised her head. “I don’t do well under pressure, but I’m okay with that. I’m happy taking care of all my animal friends instead of taking up a job that requires me to fly. I like flying, but I don’t like ponies watching me fly, if that makes any sense.”
“Oh, totally!” Spitfire seemed to jump a little now that Soarin broke his silence. “You should see all the embarrassing garbage we have to go through during practice. All the crashes and the lame way our early stunts look; it’s kind of hilarious and why we don’t let anypony film rehearsals.”
“Tell you what, Fluttershy,” Spitfire added after a coughing fit. “I got an offer for you. How about we invite you and Dash up to Cloudsdale some time so we can all just hang out and relax? Maybe have a private race or two with gates closed?”
Travel was always fun, and Cloudsdale was Fluttershy’s home town. Her ears perked up and wings fluttered, making Rainbow Dash smile; she was interested.
“My work keeps me pretty busy, Miss Spitfire... but I do like the sound of that.”
Spitfire clapped her hooves together happily. She didn’t acquire another prospective recruit, but there was always time for friends. “Great! We’ll work something out at a later time. Lookin’ forward to a race.”
“Wahoo! Road trip!” Dash exclaimed.
Fluttershy’s door burst open.
“Hello again, Rainbow Dash.”
She whirled around at the mention of her name. Pencil Pusher, sweaty and exhausted from searching half of town, held a manilla folder in his grasp and within what looked like a thousand empty insurance forms to sign.
“Shit.”
Author's Note
There's an original draft to this story. It's a little more cringeworthy, but if you want to see how the writing process can somehow change a story entirely, feel free to check out the original unedited draft HERE.
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