More Ships Than The Navy

I followed my heart into the fire...

That single line was my favourite in the entire song. And, typically, the first.

In my childhood, I had spent a good many hours thinking about the meaning of it. Was the fire a literal fire? How do you follow your heart? And why follow your heart it makes navigational errors as big as that? I was a smart, literal pony. Gullible, even. I only comprehended it as it was.

Now, however, my questions are different. Was the fire the flames that spring up after the kindling of betrayal is lit by a spark of hope? Is following your heart, following the truth? Or was it following your desires?

Got burned, got broken, down by desire...

The second line - just as good as the first. The first speaks to me, but this...this plucks my Lyra Heartstrings. I, definitely, had got burned. I still have the scars from the flames. Internal scars.

Why is first so much better than second? Why do normal ponies have so many friends they can trust, and boring normal ponies have no one? It doesn't make much sense to me. Then again, nothing makes sense to me.

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My so-called friends were there.

They sat at the picnic spot that only we were supposed to know about, with that flirt Doctor Whooves. Sharing secrets with outsiders. Didn't they know that, sooner or later, he would turn around and stab them in the back? I knew, because my mind had already been fouled by the consequences of love.

There were smiles on all of their faces. Cheerilee was talking to Rose, munching on the lemon cakes they had never touched our last picnic, eons ago. Inwardly, I grinned. I was the only one out of us any good at cooking.

Colgate and Derpy were pressed against Doctor Whooves on either side, almost purring. I felt bile rise in my throat.

Twinkleshine and Lyra were murmuring something on the edge of the mat, every once in a while shooting suspicious glances at the rest of them. Somepony suspects, at least.

Golden Harvest and Cloud Kicker were exchanging Ponyville and Cloudsdale news, and even Octavia was there. She had never gone to any of our picnics before. I felt a twinge of longing and envy.

Also there were Vinyl Scratch, Berry Punch, Cherry, Lily and Showers.

It seemed like the entire circle of our friends were there. Seemed, I repeat. Seemed. I couldn't see Daisy or Linky.

And every single one of them had a huge toothy grin plastered on their faces.

I scowled silently at them. Since they had abandoned me, this had been the only place I had happy memories of.

And here they were stomping all over my good intentions.

I turned around, but I must have stepped on a twig or something because suddenly, they went silent.

"Dolphin Dream?" Lyra. I absolutely despise my cousin, for her friends, her easy life. Everything about her makes me see red.

"Is that you?" The green unicorn got up, and walked over to the bush I was hiding behind. Everypony followed.

Lyra pulled me out from behind my hiding place. Everypony immediately scowled.

"Um...hello," I stammered uncertainly. At once I wished I hadn't.

"Traitor! Left us with this backstabbing -"

"I thought I'd never see y-"

"...doing her own thing..."

"Why did you come back?"

"...not one of us..."

"She is in love with Johnny..."

"He'd never go for somepony like her..."

"Are you okay?"

Lyra, again. I noticed I was sweating, panting. I jumped up, glaring at all of them. Lyra stepped backward, shock clear on her face.

"Why did she come here? She doesn't belong..." Cheerilee started. Lyra shushed her.

"Shut up, Cheerilee. Dolphin Dream is now friendless, homeless and poor. Show some pity."

Friendless.

That was true.

This crowd of ponies were strangers to me. I didn't recognise anypony. Not even Lyra, with her fake half-smile, wanted me here. They were all part of the same clique. They were all cool ponies, now. Mean mares. Doctor Whooves had turned them into monsters. I didn't want to be like them at all.

"No thanks," I spat. "I was just leaving anyway." Ignoring the shocked faces, I stomped right out of there. (It was painful to see the look of hurt on Doctor Whooves face. Unbearable, even. Oh, damn this undying love!)

Later that day, I packed my stuff and left Fluttershy's cottage. This time, I will see if Twilight can help.

And I am done waiting for acceptance.