(Not very) Happy Camper

by PhysicsGamer

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Starlight Glimmer
Length: 8013

This story is about a human man, who is a US reserve marine, who is transported to Equestria.

How would you handle waking up one morning on a camping trip to find everything had changed? Your environment seemingly hostile to outsiders, a far cry from the benign forest near your hometown where you went to sleep that night. Though this forest doesn't directly harm you, it feels almost malicious to your presence.

This is the story of Gerald Helfeld, a man who found himself thrown into the foreign land of Equestria, and soon finding that the forest of monstrosities and oddities is the closest thing to home he has, as outside the forest, many natural processes he takes for granted are manually done, even something as unflinching as the rise and set of the Sun and Moon.

As he begins to accept his situation, he learns that magic isn't as impossible as he might have believed, and even discovers a talent of his own through this turn of events. Why did he suddenly end up in Equestria? What is this talent and why does he have it? Let's find out!

A few things to note:

I'm still looking for editors, if you're interested in helping with editing(Including pointing out things that you feel are plotholes without current or future explanation), please comment or PM me.

Currently I'm intending for this story to occur post-Season 8, though with where I'm at I may change this based on creative choice before it becomes relevant to the story. If references are made that lock the story before or after a given series of events, it is safe to assume that implication will remain true for the future of this story.

Thanks to Warlite the Human Guy for his help editing the original versions of chapters 1 through 6.

Published 2017-05-01 12:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-05-11 03:11:12 UTC

Chapter 1: Lost

How long have I been wandering this hellish forest? Time always seems to warp when you're alone. I then hear a snap from behind me, I look just in time to see something leap out of the bushes and charge full tilt at me.

I guess I should back up a bit, and explain how I got into this situation.

It started yesterday evening, I set up my camp about a mile into the wilderness in my hometown, put the supplies I brought with me in the tent, and, after seeing the sun sink slowly below the horizon, I decided to go to sleep. Things started to get weird that night, I had difficulty getting to sleep, because I had the feeling that something wasn't right, but I couldn't put my finger on what was off.

When I did get some sleep, though, I dreamed of running from an unseen being.
When the being caught me, I immediately woke up. It was morning when I poked my head out of the tent. However, when I stepped outside the tent to prepare breakfast, I realized that I was not in the same place I was when I set up camp. I was starting to get very confused because of this.

First of all, the fire pit I set up the previous day was nowhere to be seen. Second, the forest around me was completely different from when I went to sleep. The tree's leaves were lower to the ground, and were completely foreign to me, I didn't recognize any of the trees around me. The bark on the trees was black, and they were shaped as if they were reaching down to grab unsuspecting victims as they passed by.

Instead of focusing on the creepy trees around me I decided to take inventory of everything I had, since I am somewhere I didn't, and still don't for that matter, know where I am.

The list is the following:
Survival blanket(1)
Poncho(1)
Fire striker(1)
"Metal Match"(1)
Waterproof Matches(10)
Bandages(3 rolls)
Emergency Sleeping Bag(1)
Gauze pads(10)
Adhesive tape(2 rolls)
Gauze tape(2 rolls)
Disinfectant pads(15)
Antibiotic Cream(1 tube)
Burn Cream(1 tube)
Rubbing alcohol(1 bottle)
Aspirin(1 container)
Water Canteen(1 full)
Water purification tablets(40)
MRE(9)
Canned Food(12 cans)
Flare(9)
Pencil(2)
Paper(20 sheets)
Compass(1)
Swiss Army Knife(1)
P-38 Can opener(1)
Hatchet(1)

"Now, then," I think to myself," How am I going to play this? I have enough MREs and canned food for me to eat well for one week. I can double that If I ration, So I've got two options, I can be well fed for a week, or I can go malnourished for longer." I decided to stay well fed for a week, and, with that, I began to break camp.

When everything was in place in my backpack, I began to head east. I had to struggle past foliage half the time, and the other half I was stumbling over rocks and such.

That about brings us up to speed, let’s carry on from where we left off. The creature charging at me is a wolf. What is rather odd since it’s alone, it seems to be charging at me from the other side of the clearing I’m in. I draw my hatchet, and when it jumps at me, I swing. The hatchet hits the wolf directly in the head with the blade. The wolf flies to the side as it bleeds from the wound. When it lands, it doesn't move. I decide to start cleaning the kill. The sun is starting to get close to the horizon, and it looks like there is enough meat for a meal, and all of tomorrow’s meals.

I finish cleaning the kill and start looking for things I can use for a fire. I manage to find grass that is perfect for tinder. I grab enough to use for a few nights, and I head to camp. I set up the tent and put my bag in the tent. As I start to set up cooking stuff, I hear movement, and when I look in the direction I see a very peculiar creature.

It appears to be a rabbit, but it has deer antlers. After a few seconds of staring at it, I realize that it’s a jackalope, a mythical creature. I just look at it, stunned, as it hops away.
"What?" I ask myself, as the realization of what I just saw hits me.

"That creature shouldn't exist, they don't exist, and yet it was just right there in front of me."

I didn't have much time to ponder why a mythical creature had just hopped by, because I heard the sounds of a large creature moving to my left. It sounded bigger than the rather small wolf, but still smaller than me. I decided to hide in a tree so I could identify it without it seeing me. It sounded like it was moving at a slow pace. I looked around for a good tree to hide in, after I found one I climbed into it.

I expected to see something I had at least seen or heard of before.

Instead I see something ridiculous.

I see a purple pony with a horn and wings.

Chapter 3: A New Home

As Twilight directed the creature through the forest, she noticed that its curious eyes darted about, taking in every detail of its surroundings.

She wondered how intelligent the creature might actually be, to be so inquisitive. She also wondered what use an obvious carnivore(or omnivore, she wasn’t certain) would have for natural curiosity. “Maybe so it can find food sources other than what it normally eats?” She thought to herself.

She also wondered why an intelligent creature would be so isolated from others of its species, she at least lived near other ponies, even back when she lived in Canterlot. “It might be territorial,” she thought,”but if that is the case, why didn’t it attack me, and why did it follow me?” She kept pondering this as she headed to Zecora’s home.

She then saw the familiar sight of Zecora’s hut. The house was carved directly out of one of the Everfree’s many trees, and it had vials of potions, medicines, and everything in between hanging from strings attached to the branches. Tribal masks hang on the sides of the tree, most of them near the front door.

Twilight made a gesture for the creature to wait here, which it seems to understand, as it starts moving towards a nearby tree root, and sits on it.

She walks to the door and knocks. After a minute or two, Zecora opens the door and remarks,”Twilight, I trust you had a good flight?” She asks in her usual rhyming tone.

“Actually, I walked here,” Twilight replied,”but I need to speak with you about something.”

“Then let us walk inside to speak, I will make you something good to eat” Zecora responded, before leading Twilight to the table inside the house. Twilight used her magic to pull the door shut behind her.

Twilight explained what had happened in the last few minutes to Zecora while Zecora was making a stew. After a few seconds of thought, she responds by saying,”Now that we have learned of the creature, it shall be the teacher.”

They walk to the door and open it, looking for the creature, but it seems to have left. After looking around for a few seconds, they see a path left by it. Judging by the path, it doesn’t seem like it was in too much of a hurry, but it also doesn’t seem to have been trying to hide which way it went either.

“I’ll go and tell my friends what happened.” Twilight says to Zecora,”Do you think you could follow the creature, and see if you can find a way to communicate with it?”

Zecora said she would. With that Twilight takes off and flies toward Ponyville, and Zecora begins to follow the path left by the creature.

←-------------------------------------------------------------->

A few minutes ago…

As I follow the purple pony, I look around curiously. Everywhere I look, there is a new plant, that I have never seen before.

We come to a hut that is carved from a tree. It is decorated with vials of various different liquids, and masks that are reminiscent of African tribal masks.

The purple pony makes a motion that I assume is for me to wait, so I walk to a tree root and sit on it.

She walks to the door of the hut, and knocks on it. After a minute, the door is answered by a creature that is unmistakably a zebra, but it is rather small for a zebra, standing at about 3 feet tall, they bleat and neigh at each other a little, possibly as a greeting, and they walk into the house. The door gets a purple aura, closes, and then the aura disappears.

I don’t exactly trust them, but I don’t distrust them either. They obviously have some sort of technology or “magic” that lets them move things with their minds, since things have been floating around and the doors shut without anyone touching them.

I decide to walk away, as it it is the best choice I can think of, because if they are planning on attacking me, for whatever reason, they will think I am scared and will most likely underestimate me, giving me a bit more of an advantage. On the other hand, if they want to interact with me, whether it is for scientific or social reasons, they will probably think I am somewhat afraid of them, which might be useful. Either way, if they seek me out, I will know they are interested in me for some reason.

I start to walk away, not making any effort to avoid making a path. After a few minutes, I come across a stone cliff face that has an overhang(more of a dent) in it. “Perfect” I think to myself as I take in my surroundings. There is a small lake to the North,I see that the trees here seem to grow more normally, and I notice a few black spots on the cliff face that I realize to be flint.

“I can set up a more permanent base here.”

I get to work on collecting wood for fires. I remember how so many different cultures built their homes out of mud bricks. “Maybe I could build my shelter out of that?” I think to myself. I check the dent in the cliff. It is about 4 feet deep at the furthest(which is the bottom, for whatever reason), and it is about 8 feet wide. “How did this even form?” I wonder to myself. I chop down a decently sized tree with my hatchet, which takes a while, and I cut it into decent building material. I make a rectangular box to mold the bricks(which is pretty much just a rectangle of wood), and it falls apart. I grab some of the tall grass in the area, and weave it into a rope, tying both ends into knots. I tie the new makeshift rope around the box on a flat piece of ground near the lake.

I start making mud bricks in the box using grass and some of the clay-rich mud from beside the lake. I set them out in the sun to bake for a few hours.

After making and setting out 12 bricks, I notice the zebra from earlier approaching me. It looks at the mud bricks and then at me. It walks over after a minute or so, and draws a general map in the dirt in front of me, although the only paths she marks are the paths between my “base” and her hut. She also draws seven suns into the dirt near it, and draws three “stick ponies” into the dirt above her hut, and then an arrow from above her hut to my current location.

I understood her meaning, the zebra, purple pony, and one other pony will come here in 7 days.

I nod to show that I understand. The zebra circles the first sun, points at herself, and points to my camp. Which I assume means she will come back here tomorrow. I nod again to show my understanding.

She starts to walk away at a slow pace, and once she is gone, I continue making mud bricks. After I have enough bricks for my purpose, I set up my tent and a fire pit, and continue collecting firewood. I was even lucky enough to find a blackberry bush.

After a few hours, I check the mud bricks, and they seem to be done. I start building a wall in front of the dent, leaving space for a doorway. I use a small wood log to support the doorway. I build until the wall goes high enough to cover the dent. I decide to put my tent in front of the doorway, as an entrance.

I cover the outside of the wall in mud. I start a fire, cook and eat an MRE, and go to sleep in my newly built home.

When I fell asleep, I dreamt of my first sparring match as a black belt. I was a 1st degree black belt in taekwondo. The match lasted for about a minute, but when I won, everything faded to black, and I began hearing subtle whispers, I couldn’t understand what they were saying, but I was feeling all of my emotions getting more intense. The whispers stayed for the entire night.

←-------------------------------------------------------------->

Meanwhile…

“Twilight, why are you still up?” Spike the baby dragon asked as Twilight frantically looked through practically every book in her library.

“I can’t find anything on this species or its language, and I need to figure out how to communicate with it.”

Spike looked at her, confusion evident on his face,”You have a whole week to prepare Twilight, and you need to sleep.”

“I need to figure out its language Spike! This time it will be interacting with a group of ponies, which may make it feel threatened. We don’t know what its species is capable of, how many there are, or even what it considers to be an act of aggression. If we word something the wrong way, assuming we can find out anything on its language, we could insult it, or if we mispronounce something, we might even declare war on accident!” Twilight’s voice escalated in both volume and speed as she spoke.

“Calm down,” Spike said,”that won’t happen, besides, you’re more likely to mistranslate if you’re half asleep the whole time.

“I suppose you’re right.” Twilight said as she went to her room and went to bed.

←-------------------------------------------------------------->

That morning…

I wake up, and when I leave my shelter, I see sunlight, and I rub my eyes for a few seconds, I run around the clearing to wake myself up, and then go to eat some berries for breakfast. The wall I built yesterday seems to be holding up well, there’s no large cracks or holes in it. So I add another layer of mud, and collect some more wood.

After collecting wood, I start making more mud bricks for later, because I have nothing better to do right now.

As I make bricks, I repeat the same pattern, add mud, add grass, add mud, add grass, compress, and repeat until it won’t compress any more. After I’ve set out quite a nice collection of bricks, I see the familiar face of the zebra from yesterday, and I notice that it’s wearing saddlebags for whatever reason.

Chapter 4: An Unusual Skill

Zecora walks to the creature’s camp. She had almost spent the entire day yesterday planning on learning its language as much as she could today. She had brought ink, quills, parchment, her lunch, and 7 doses of Draught of Common Voice(each dose lasts for an hour), which will let her retain the meaning of any word that she hears it say or writes down, if she finds its meaning that is.

When she got to its camp, she noticed that it had a wall built over the indention in the rock, and its tent was in front of it.

She looked around for the creature. It didn’t take long for her to see it, it was by the lake making bricks. She approaches the creature, and it turns to look at her.

She pulls off her bag, and takes out her ink, parchment, quill, and a dose of the potion. She drinks the potion, and walks up to the creature. She then holds out her hoof, it seems to understand, and it shakes her hoof.

She points at herself and says,”Zecora.” It recites her name with difficulty, but it is a surprisingly accurate imitation. She draws a picture of Twilight Sparkle in the dirt and says, “Twilight Sparkle.” Once again it imitates the name with surprising accuracy. She began to wonder if it was naturally proficient at imitating sounds, or if it drank a potion before she got here, which was unlikely.

She points to it, and it makes a short set of connected sounds and clicks that are presumably its name. She writes down the name on the parchment, as best as she could since she had no clue on how to spell its name.
She points to various objects in the area saying her word for each object, and it said its word for the object, and she then writes down a translation table for others to use in the future.
At lunch time, Zecora pulls out a daisy sandwich from her bag for lunch. The creature wanders off for a few minutes, and it comes back eating some blackberries.

“So it is omnivorous,” she thought to herself as they both ate lunch.

After lunch they continued teaching each other nouns, and towards the end they started teaching some verbs. Zecora continued writing down the translation table as they went, trying her best with spelling.

They even started using very simple sentences, like,”That is a [insert noun here].” So far they can only use extremely simple declarative sentences, so they can’t ask questions yet.

About an hour before sunset, Zecora leaves, and the creatures says what is most likely is “Bye” to her as she walks away. She pauses and imitates it, and continues walking away.

←-------------------------------------------------------------->

That night…

“I can’t believe you learned so much of its language!” Twilight exclaims as she reads the scroll that Zecora has written.

“Perhaps you should compile it, so you that you may file it,” Zecora says as she sips her cup of tea.

“How do you suggest we meet with it?” Twilight asked.

“Any place would do, although I think it may want some space to move,” Zecora replied.

“Why?”

“Always working it seems to be, so it doesn’t like to procrastinate as you may see.”

“Sounds like we should talk with it here in the castle, except in one of the meeting rooms. We should probably have my friends there too.”

←-------------------------------------------------------------->

The days go by in pretty much the same way for three more days. I wake up, run a little, eat breakfast, teach the Zebra some English and learn some of its language, eat lunch, teach and learn some more, watch the zebra leave, eat dinner, sleep, repeat.

On the fifth day however, five white unicorns in golden armor walk to the area and look around, seeming to be a little on edge. The zebra and I go about our routine as usual, though since they don’t talk to us or even come within 5 yards of me.

On the sixth day, the unicorns talk with Zecora(I had just started using her name during conversation and thought) about something. We then teach each other some more of our languages. At this point, she knows enough of my language that we can hold a conversation, but I can’t seem to retain information on their language, except for names, which I remember with ease.

On the seventh day, Zecora tells me that tomorrow she will come here and direct me to a nearby town called Ponyville, which really was a weird name to me, and I would meet Twilight and her friends there, although I noticed that Zecora used a word before Twilight’s name that I guessed was a title. At this point, I was used to the fact that she rhymes, even when speaking in my language. She then left.

←-------------------------------------------------------------->

A few hours later...

“Her potions worked very well, she should be able to be an interpreter for tomorrow.” Twilight says to her friends at the Cutie Map.

“Are you sure it will be okay with meeting us all at once, because some of the animals I’ve met get scared if they meet too many ponies at once if they aren't used to ponies,” Fluttershy said softly.

“Ah’m more worried ‘bout what it might do if we say somethin’ it doesn’t like or finds offensive.” Applejack says.

“We shouldn’t have too much of a problem, Zecora has been learning its language from it, and it hasn’t been offended by her, so I don’t think it's as easy to offend as the yaks at least” Twilight says.

Everypony agrees that this is a good thing.

“Also I think I found a spell that might help, but it is very draining and doesn't last too long, so I won’t cast it unless we need it.”

←-------------------------------------------------------------->

That morning…

I wake up and head outside, to see Zecora walking towards me.

Zecora asks me, in a heavily accented voice, to follow her, I nod. She then leads me through the forest.

I take mental note about a few things on the path that I might find useful, like a large amount of vines, near the path.

We leave the forest, and Zecora leads me into a medieval-style town, which, strangely enough, there are no ponies, or humans, in sight, along the path that I am lead on at least.

She leads me to a massive castle made of crystal that is shaped like a tree.

As she leads me inside and through the interior of the castle, I realize that, somehow, the inside of the castle is bigger than it looks on the outside.

She directs me through a series of corridors and hallways, and while I see a few of the ponies in gold armor, I pay them no mind. She leads me into a decently large room with a fancy table in the center.

There are 7 ponies currently seated, but there are 9 chairs, one of which is roughly scaled to my height. I sit on the chair that is scaled to my size, and Zecora sits in the last empty seat.

I only recognize 2 of the ponies at the table, Zecora and the purple unicorn/pegasus(Twilight Sparkle wasn’t it?), but I notice that Twilight is now wearing a tiara. Twilight and one other pony are sitting opposite me. The other pony sitting opposite me is a light pink unicorn with a purple mane with a light blue stripe, she says something to me, which Zecora translates as her introducing herself as Starlight Glimmer(Zecora also specifies her gender, so that I don’t mix up my pronouns). To Twilight’s left is an orange pony with a yellow mane and is wearing a Stetson hat, and introduces herself as Applejack. Zecora is sitting to my left. To Zecora’s right is a white unicorn wearing a pink-ish dress, it has a purple mane that is styled. She introduces herself as Rarity. To Rarity’s right is a cyan pegasus with a rainbow colored mane, who introduces herself as Rainbow Dash. To my right is a yellow pegasus with a pink mane, which she is currently trying to hide behind. Zecora tells me that she is Fluttershy. To Fluttershy’s right is a bright pink pony with a pink mane who seems to be struggling to not jump out of her seat. She introduces herself, very quickly, as Pinkie Pie.

I introduce myself as Gerald, which Zecora translates, and all of the ponies say,”Hello,” or some variant of it.

Twilight says something to me, which Zecora translates,”She says,’Hello, I am Twilight Sparkle, the…” Zecora’s voice trailed off as she struggled to find the word for it.

I looked at her, the confusion evident on my face, but I was slightly annoyed, which I tried, and failed, to keep off my face. Twilight starts looking a little worried, and her horn starts to glow with a familiar purple aura. The aura gets another layer on top of it as she focuses and concentrates on whatever she is doing.

I look at the aura with curiosity, and a sphere of the aura explodes off of her horn, engulfing everything in the room.

I yelp and jump back in surprise, which causes my chair to fall back, because my chair is out to kill me, apparently. My head hits the floor, which disorients me a lot more than it should. I stumble to my feet, and step forward, which causes me to trip on the table. I push myself off the table and back onto the floor, and decide to wait until I regain my senses before I try to get back up. Except I don’t regain my senses, rather, I fall unconscious for no apparent reason.

←-------------------------------------------------------------->

The ponies look in shock at the unconscious creature in front of them.

“Umm. What just happened?” Rainbow asked.

“I don’t know,” Twilight replies,”I only cast the linguistic spell I told you about.”

Fluttershy rushed over to it to make sure it was okay, and she let out a sigh of relief when she realized it was fine.

“What should we do if it thinks we attacked it?” Starlight asks.

“Maybe we should worry about that later, it could need medical attention,” Fluttershy replies.

Twilight uses her magic to levitate the creature. The moment Twilight’s aura touches the creature, its right arm moves up a few inches, then it relaxes and returns to its previous position, relative to his body, while he is lifted by her spell. They all notice this and are slightly confused by his arm moving while he is unconscious , but Twilight starts to walk at a rather brisk pace out the door and towards the infirmity, levitating the creature behind her.

The doctor is understandably surprised when he sees the creature, and repeatedly says,”But I don’t know its anatomy at all, let alone how to perform medical examination on it, I might do more harm than good if I try to fix any problems I find,”but when Twilight explains that he might be injured, and keeps insisting that he try to check for injuries, he gets to work, reluctantly. He does the best he can, which wasn’t much, although he manages to identify it as male, and, as far as he can tell, none of the bones are broken.

The ponies talk amongst themselves, and decide that only one of them should be in the room with it after it wakes up, so that they don’t make it feel too threatened. They decide that Fluttershy should be the one to go in the room to speak with it when it wakes up, since she is generally non-threatening, and is good with animals.

After about an hour, the doctor steps out and says,” He seems to be regaining consciousness.”

With a large amount of coaxing and reassuring, Fluttershy walks into the infirmary.

←-------------------------------------------------------------->

As I regain consciousness, I notice that I am not where I was, and I feel like there is electricity crackling through my veins, oddly it doesn’t feel painful, it strangely feels natural, even though I
haven’t ever felt this before. From my observations, I seem to be in a hospital.

I look over, and I see Fluttershy. She seems timid at first, but then she starts to walk towards me. I immediately put my hand up in a gesture for her to not come any closer, while saying,”Don’t come closer.” To my surprise, she is surrounded in a light yellow aura almost immediately, and she freezes, unable to move forward, or in any direction for that matter.

A look of surprise crosses her face, which quickly changes to a look of fear. I look at her in confusion, my arm still outstretched. I put down my arm, and the aura around her disappears. She immediately turns and runs out of the door.

←-------------------------------------------------------------->

About a minute later...

“But why has it only just started to use magic?” Applejack asks,” Ah reckon we would have seen it use magic before, would we ‘ave?”

“He probably had them the whole time, but just started using them now that he feels threatened.” Twilight replies.

“I think we should stay on its good side, since we don’t know the extent of its powers,” Starlight says.

“It seemed surprised when it stopped me in place with its magic.” Fluttershy says.

“I’ve heard of cases where emotions cause magic to misfire,” Twilight replies,” I think he used his magic on accident because of fear.”

“If that was on accident, we could totally take him!” Rainbow Dash exclaims with certainty and excitement in her voice.

“I don’t think we should actively make it angry though,” Twilight says.

Chapter 5: Off the Charts

As I outstretch my hand towards a case for the umpteenth time, trying to get it to move, or at least give it that aura, but no matter how much I try, I can’t.

The pony named “Twilight” walks in, and, seeing me with my arm outstretched, looks at me curiously.

Almost immediately, I notice that she seems on edge.

While sighing, I lower my arm and ask,”Is there something you want me to say?” without expecting an answer.

I swear her jaw would’ve hit the floor if it wasn’t attached to her head. She only responds by saying,”What…”

My jaw must have dropped enough to go to the moon and back in surprise. We stay there in shock for about a minute, then Starlight walks in, and asks Twilight,”Have you learned anything new?”

Before Twilight can respond I say,“Apparently we can communicate with each other now,.”

Starlight looks at me with a surprised look for a few seconds, then asks,”How did you learn Equestrian so quickly?”

“I didn’t,” I respond.

“Twilight, can you come with me?” Starlight asks.

“Uh… Sure,” Twilight responds.

←-------------------------------------------------------------->

“I think he is either mimicking our magic, or stealing it.” Starlight says once they are out of earshot of the infirmary.

“Why do you think that?” Twilight asks.

“Think about it, he started out unable to communicate with us, doing everything manually, and using no magic. Then, after you cast a burst linguistic spell to allow us to understand him and allow him to understand us, he passes out. Then you use your telekinesis to move him to the infirmary, and he is suddenly using telekinesis, and can communicate right after.”

“It might just be playing a psychological ‘game’ right now. I read that by only mirroring your opponent’s moves, somepony proves that they can do everything their opponent can. Which can cause any number of reactions, so he might be gauging our nature with psychological ‘games’ or tests.”

“Maybe we should talk to him and learn who he is, and what position he claims to have where he’s from.”

“I agree,”

They walk back towards the infirmary.

←-------------------------------------------------------------->

I hear the door open, so I stand up and turn to face it, and I see the two ponies from a few minutes earlier.

“Hello,” Twilight says to me,”I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, and this is Starlight Glimmer. What is your name? Where are you from? What is your position where you are from?” Her speech gets significantly faster when she gets to the questions, almost as if she was afraid that if she stopped, she wouldn’t have the courage to continue.

The last question confused me a little, but I answer her question,” I am Sergeant Gerald Helfeld of the United States Marine Corps.”

Twilight ponders this for a moment, then says,”So you’re a soldier?”

“Yes, although I am a reserve.” I respond.

“What does that mean?” Twilight asks.

“I train one weekend every month. Other than that, I am able to live as if I weren’t a soldier until I am deployed.”

“Where did you say you were from again?” Starlight asks.

“I am from the United States of America, the land of the free and home of the brave.” I say with pride.

“What was your rank again? Twilight asks. I notice that she is writing as fast as lightning as I answer.

“I’m a Sergeant,” I answer.

“What part of the military are you in?” Twilight asks.

“I’m part of the Marine Corps.” I say, getting slightly annoyed at having to repeat all of this.

“What is that?” Twilight asks.

“The Marines are the branch of the U.S. military responsible for providing power projection, using the mobility of the U.S. navy.”

“Would your country be willing to sign a peace treaty with ours?” Twilight asks hopefully.

“I’m not really able to speak for my country, but they would probably be more than willing to sign a treaty.” I say. I’m starting to get very confused at the situation I find myself in, I have no idea how, but I seem to have found both a new nation and a new intelligent species, or I’ve gone insane.

“Wait here,” Twilight says as she leaves the room, leaving me and Starlight in the room. We just stand there in awkward silence for a few minutes before Twilight comes back with a guard. He seems to be a dark grey unicorn in the golden armor that seems to be the standard issue around here.

“I’ve arranged for you to stay in a guest room for the time being, Silver Shield will direct you to where you will be staying for now.” Twilight says to me while gesturing to the door.

The guard directs me through the labyrinth that is this castle without a word. I notice a bead of sweat run down the side of his head. Once we get to my room, he points to the door and says in a professional manner, hardly masking the nervous tone,”This is where you will be staying.”

Once I enter my room I hear hurried footsteps moving away from the door and I chuckle to myself at the fact that the guard was in such a hurry to get away from me.

I look around, and see that there is a four-poster bed, a chest, a dresser with a chess set on top, a decently sized window, a closet, and my bag leaning against the bed. I grab my Swiss Army Knife and compass, and put them in my pockets.

After a while, during a particularly heated game of chess against myself, I hear knocking on the door and I automatically say,”Come in,” and look to the door to see Starlight opening the door.

She walks into the room, and asks with a hint of nervousness in her voice,”Hi, uh, how are you?”

I was never good at small talk, so I don’t really know how to respond,”Um, I’m… good?”

“Do you think you could show me a few of your spells?”

My face shows my confusion as I ask,”Spells?”

“Something you can do with your magic.”

“I know what a spell is, but I can’t use them, they don’t exist where I’m from.”

A look of realization crosses her face, and she says,”I’ll talk to you in a few days.” She then leaves the room.

←-------------------------------------------------------------->

“If it can’t consciously control its magic…” Twilight says.

“...then it’s more dangerous than if it was malicious and could control it.” Starlight says, finishing Twilight’s statement for her.

“What should we do then?”

“I think we should send a letter to Princess Celestia and see what she has to say on the matter.”

“I agree.”

Twilight and Starlight write a letter to Celestia explaining everything that has happened so far involving “Gerald”, Twilight yells for Spike. They give the letter to Spike when he comes in, and he burns it with his dragon breath, sending it to Celestia.

Spike belches a small amount of smoke and dragon fire, which quickly materializes into a scroll at a speed that’s impressive, even for Celestia. They open the scroll and read it.

←-------------------------------------------------------------->

I spent the past two days passing the time by polishing my weapons, reading a few books in the room, and playing chess against myself. Nothing of importance happened.

I hear knocking on the door, I say, “Come in,” and look to the door. Twilight walks into the room and says,”Hello again.”

“Uh, Hi,” I respond, not sure what to say exactly.

“I was wondering if you would be okay with me running a few tests?”

“What kind of tests are you planning on doing, and why?

“Just some tests to see what you’re normally supposed to be like so that we know what is normal.”

“I suppose that would be fine as long as you don’t do anything too invasive.”

“Please come with me, then.”

She leads me through so many hallways that I couldn’t hope to remember the way back. She stops at a set of double doors and gestures for me to go inside with a wave of her hoof.

When I enter, I look around the room to see a variety of lab and medical equipment scattered within. I also see Fluttershy and the doctor from earlier in the room. Fluttershy seems to be keeping to the sides, while the doctor is moving around the room, checking various instruments, grabbing checklists, and checking things off.

Once he notices me, he walks up to me and says,”Hello, I am Doctor Horses.”

“Dr. Horses?” I think to myself,”That’s kind of an ironic name.” I reach over and shake his hoof and say,”I’m Gerald.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you Gerald, I presume you are here for the tests that we have planned.”

“Yes. What exactly will you be testing?”

“We’ll be doing a few simple things like taking your blood pressure and taking x-rays, and we’ll be measuring your magic levels, both potential and active.”

“Okay, I guess.”

“I’ll just have to finish with this and we’ll be able to begin.” And he walks back to the equipment.

Twilight walks up beside me and asks,”How advanced is your nation?”

I think a bit before answering,”Well, according to the Kardashev scale, our nation is a .72 civilization, making us a type 0 civilization, which means that we can use and store energy from our planet’s star. We are quickly accelerating in technology, and once we can harness the full power of the energy hitting our planet, we will be a type 1 civilization. From what I have seen of your nation, your nation seems to be a .1 civilization at most, but there are some inconsistencies, like x-rays, which are commonly associated with .55 civilizations.”

Twilight ponders this for a minute, and asks,” What is the Kardashev scale,”

I notice that she has been writing down everything I say. I answer by saying,”It's a measure of a civilization’s technological advancement.”

The doctor walks over and says,”Everything's ready if you are.”

“Okay,” I respond,”Lead the way.”

He directs me to a sphygmomanometer, which is used to measure blood pressure. He takes my blood pressure and writes it down. Twilight also writes it down. The doctor takes out a stethoscope and asks me to take off my shirt. I take off my shirt, and he documents my heart rate and what my breathing sounds like.

When that is done, they take me to an x-ray machine, and tell me that they are going to use the minimum amount of power, just to be safe.

After that, they take me to a machine that I am unfamiliar with. It has a large number of dials and switches, and a few places where data presumably is output to. It has a large metal hat that has wires coming off of it in every direction, and four metal bands that presumably go on each appendage. Twilight has me sit in a seat next to it, puts the hat on my head, and straps it on. While she is attaching the bands, I ask, “what exactly does this do?”

“This device measures your magical capacity by reading the amount of magic in your system.”

Once the bands are in place, Twilight says,”This might feel a little weird, but it shouldn’t hurt. If it hurts at all, let us know.”

“Got it,” I say, ”start it up when you’re ready.

She flips a lever on the machine, and I immediately feel a strange sensation throughout my body. I start feeling dizzy, and I feel like I have been burned and frozen at the same time, minus the pain. After a little bit, the sensation goes away, and Twilight removes the hat and bands. She walks to a stack of parchment and looks at lines on it. The lines on it are so close together that they almost completely cover the parchment, and they are almost completely vertical. She looks at the papers, mumbling to herself,”This can’t be right,” to herself repeatedly.

Eventually I say,”What can’t be right?”

She looks at me and says,”Your magic is immeasurable,”

Chapter 2: An Unexpected Guide

A few minutes earlier...

Perspective: Twilight Sparkle

Twilight Sparkle, one of the alicorn princess ruling the land of Equestria, moved through the forest at a leisurely pace. She is approximately 3 feet tall, has a coat that is light purple, a violet mane with a small magenta stripe, wings, and a horn. She also has a mark on her flank, which signifies her talent. Her mark is a magenta star with 5 white stars in an asymmetric pattern around it.. The mark signifies that she has an affinity with all magic.

She was heading to Zecora's home, to bring a book that Zecora asked Twilight to lend her. She always hated going through the Everfree forest, which Zecora calls home, because it always seemed unnatural to her, and the monsters that always infested the forest didn’t help either. The fact that the plants grow and the weather acts of its own accord without outside assistance, was completely alien to her kind.

As she entered a clearing, she immediately noticed that several things were off. First, there was a fire and tent in the middle of the clearing. Second, there was a dead wolf lying on the ground, a large amount of the muscle has been removed, as well as its pelt and internal organs.

She is a little disgusted and unnerved by this, given the fact that she is an herbivore. She knows about carnivores, but none that would skin it's prey and set up a camp with a tent and fire, other than the occasional griffon, which none live in the area, let alone in the Everfree.

Although this creeps her out, her scholarly side prevails, and she summons a notebook and quill with her magic, and draws a sketch of the camp and starts taking notes of every detail.

Then, she uses her magic to open the tent, so that she could see what was inside. She hears the rustling of leaves in a nearby tree that is behind her. She then hears a large amount of noise, and a thud as whatever it was landed. She turns, only to come face-to-face with a creature she has never seen before.

The creature was on all fours from the jump. Its face was similar to a chimpanzee's, but there were some major differences, like how it only had fur on top of its head. The jaw had sharp edges, giving it a more square-like shape. It was also wearing camouflage clothing. It was staring at her, she had read about chimps, and looking them in the eyes was an act of aggression, so she avoided looking at its eyes.

Then it did something she didn't expect, it stood up on its back legs. It looked more intimidating now, because it towered over her at almost six feet tall, and it looked like it was examining her, but she didn't know why. She pondered why it was studying her,"It might be trying to determine I I'm prey or not," she thought,"or it might be trying to figure out if I'm a threat." She looks at its forelegs, and sees that it doesn't have hooves, paws, or anything of the sort, instead it has 5 appendages on the end of each foreleg, similar to Spike’s claws, but they aren’t sharp like his claws.

It starts to circle her, which she saw as a bad sign. She turned as it circled her, so that she was always facing the creature. After a little bit of time, it made a series of chimp-like sounds, although the sounds have obvious structure, so she is pretty sure it is speaking some sort of language.

She tried to say,"I don't understand that language." It responded by giving me a confused look. She decided to bring it to Zecora,"Maybe she can identify it," she thought. She made a gesture for it to follow, it seemed to understand, and it began to break camp.

It also cut meat off the wolf, and started to cook it. She looked away from it, since she was slightly disturbed and disgusted by this. It ate a large amount of it. It then grabbed its bag and walked over. It stopped in front of her and looked at her expectantly. She started to lead it to Zecora's home.

←-------------------------------------------------------------->

As I watched the pony, it made a notebook and quill appear out of nowhere and started drawing and writing. I was baffled by how it could do that.

It started to open the tent, and I decided to make myself known before it started to mess with my food. I jumped from the tree and landed in a kneeling position. "Looks like those acrobatics classes came in handy after all," I thought.

It obviously had heard the noise, and seemed to be afraid to turn around to see what just showed up. It turns around slowly, and looks me in the eye for a split second, then she looked away from my eyes. Its unnaturally large eyes convey its fear easily.

It also examines my face, while still avoiding my eyes, thoroughly. I stand up, and its face says awe, fear, and shock at the same time, it obviously didn't expect me to stand on two legs.

It starts studying me again, so I start to study it. I start to circle it to get a more complete set of information about it. It turns as I circle it, so that it is always facing me.

It is obviously wary of getting attacked from behind. I decide to try to calm it down. It looks at me with a look of surprise, then it bleats and neighs, and although it sounds like a normal horse, there is an obvious structure, so I assume it is speaking a language of some kind.

It seems to direct me with a wave of its hoof. I break camp, cook the wolf meat, and eat as much as I can, I reasoned that I might not be coming back here, and I can't carry around a corpse, so I should eat as much as possible.

The pony is visibly uncomfortable with me eating meat, and it looks away.

When I have everything, I walk over to it, and wait for it to start walking. It directs me through the forest, and we get to our destination, a hut carved directly out of a tree.