Good Fences Make Good Neighbours

by PoisonClaw

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Maud Pie, Slice of Life, Diamond Dogs
Length: 1473

Maud's new home has some... unexpected neighbours

Who could have imagined that such a beautiful underground oasis could not only be located so close to Ponyville, but that it had remained undiscovered until now?

Very unlikely, actually, as Maud soon learns that her new home comes with some... prior tenants.

Inspired by a comment from NodoubtbuodoN. So this is partially his fault too.

Published 2017-05-31 01:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-31 01:40:02 UTC

Chapter 1

Maud was happy.

Of course, you couldn’t tell thanks to the constant deadpan expression plastered across her face, but an observant pony (or Pinkie Pie) might have noticed the subtle signs, like the way the corner of her lips curved upward by a quarter of a millimetre, or how her eyes seemed to sparkle like a chunk of brucite.

Yes, Maud was happy, and with good reason too. Just days after graduating with her rockturate from the Equestrian Institute of Rocktology, she had settled down in Ponyville, home to her easily excitable sister Pinkie Pie and her new friend, Starlight Glimmer.

Friend. Just thinking about it made Maud’s smile widen another tenth of a millimetre. Her first friend, someone besides her sisters and Boulder who didn’t mind that she was different than other ponies. As far as Maud was concerned, Starlight was a true diamond in the rough.

With Starlight’s help, they had discovered a previously hidden grotto on the outskirts of Ponyville, just littered with enough mineral and gem deposits to send Maud’s heart all aflutter. So it came as no surprise when Maud decided to take up residence there, especially since the rocks alone beat out Ghastly Gorge by a landslide.

After a filling lunch of rock soup, Maud chose to spend that afternoon tending to her rock garden, delighted to see that her hardystonite and dolomite deposits were coming in nicely. With Boulder sleeping nearby, Maud was content as she silently cared for her rocks.

“Gems, oh shiny gems! How you shine so!”

Maud blinked, glancing up from her limestone deposits. Her ears perked up, swivelling atop her head at the sudden noise. Somepony was singing, and very badly at that. “Boulder?” she asked, turning to her faithful companion. “Was that you?”

Boulder didn’t answer, still fast asleep on the table.

“You shine so bright, like fish eyes!”

Setting her watering can down, Maud trotted down the walkway, following the voice towards the massive pool in the middle of the cave, stopping just at the water’s edge as she discovered the source of the assault on her ears.

“Shiny, shiny gems!”

Standing beneath one of the mini waterfalls was not a pony, but some kind of bipedal canine. Judging by its appearance, Maud surmised he was one of those “Diamond Dogs” Pinkie had mentioned in one of her letters. Scrubbing its light brown fur with what appeared to be a soapy loofa clutched in one paw, the canine was oblivious to her presence as he belted out a tune to himself, one Maud could only assume he wrote himself.

“When me find you, me gonna keep you all day long, oh shiny gems!” Throwing back his head, the dog let out a great big howl as his performance came to an end, giving a bow before glancing up at his adoring public.

In that moment, his eyes locked with Maud’s, blinking in disbelief at the grey pony suddenly staring at him from the shore.

Maud blinked back at him. “Hello.”

“Waaah!” Jumping back in surprise, the Diamond Dog ended up tripping over its own feet, toppling forward off the rock he had been standing on and flopping into the deeper waters of the pool. Breaching the surface with a gasp, the sopping wet Diamond Dog frantically paddled towards the shore.

Maud watched with seeming disinterest as she watched the dog haul himself onto the shore, reaching into her sweater and pulling out a small umbrella that she popped open as the Diamond Dog gave a fierce shake, sending water spraying everywhere and splashing against Maud’s umbrella.

Once the Diamond Dog was dry, he quickly retrieved a vest and collar hanging off a nearby rock and dressed himself. Growling, he whipped around to face Maud, pointing a claw at her. “You! What pony doing here? Why you spy on Rufus while in bath?”

“I heard you singing,” Maud stated matter-of-factly, catching Rufus off guard with her monotone reply.

“Oh…” He said, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “What did pony think? Did pony like Rufus’s song?”

“It was okay,” She replied with a subtle shrug of her shoulders.

“Really?” Rufus puffed out his chest with pride. “Me wrote it all by myself you know!”

“I could tell.”

“Thanks, pony have good tastes th—Bleh!” Rufus made a face like he’d just taken a bite out of a lemon, growling again as he returned to pointing accusingly as Maud. “Pony still not answer question! Why pony here?”

“I live here,” Again, Maud said this like it was the most obvious thing, making Rufus more and more unsettled by the moment.

“Pony can’t live here!” Rufus stamped his foot in a show of force, barring his teeth at the unimpressed pony. “This land belongs to Diamond Dogs! Pony must leave, NOW!”

Maud didn’t budge an inch, unfazed as she stared at Rufus, silence filling the air between them. After a moment, she finally replied, “No.”

Rufus growled at her, his hackles raising as he got down on all fours and barred his teeth menacingly at Maud. “Very well! If pony won’t leave, then Rufus will make you leave, stupid pony!”

Maud actually raised an eyebrow at the display. Tilting her head slightly, the sharp crack of bone echoed through the cavern as Maud cracked her neck. “Bring it.”

***

“Stupid Rufus, running off to swimming hole without us!” Rover growled, his two cohorts following closely behind him. “He better of saved us some hot water!”

As the three entered into the cavern, Rover scanned the area for his fellow Diamond Dog. “Where is that no good flea bag?”

“Waaaahhhh!”

The three dogs looked over just in time to spot Rufus flying through the air before slamming against the cavern wall next to them, sliding to the ground with a groan.

“Rufus?” Spot hopped over to the downed Diamond Dog, mercilessly poking him in the side despite Rufus’s groans. “What happened?”

Despite lying in a heap, Rufus was still able to point a shaking paw at something across the cavern. “P… Pony…”

Rover, Spot and Fido all looked to where Rufus was pointing to see Maud staring at them from across the path, unconcerned by the presence of even more Diamond Dogs.

She blinked at the trio of dogs. “Hello.”

“Pony!” Rover snarled, glaring at Maud with unbridled hatred. “This be Diamond Dog land! Get out!”

Again, Maud answered with a swift, “No,” as she slowly trotted forward. Rufus whimpered, shaking in fear as she advanced towards them.

Rover, Spot and Fido, however, were completely oblivious to the danger walking towards them. “If pony won’t leave,” Rover growled, grinning with glee, “Then Dogs will make pony dig gems for them!” In a group, the trio of Diamond Dogs pounced towards Maud, their claws ready to tear into her soft flesh…

***

“Maud?” Starlight called out as she stepped into the cavern, a kite floating behind her in her magic. “Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you wanted to fly kites with me? There’s the perfect updraft out today, and I was hoping—“ Starlight stopped in her tracks, her kite dropping to the ground as her magic cut out, her jaw hanging open in disbelief.

Drifting along on a bright yellow inner tube made to resemble a duck was Maud, a colourful umbrella hat on her head to keep the light out of her eyes. That, however, was not what got Starlight’s attention. What did was the fact that a vine had been stretched across the pool to divide it in half, and on the other side of the pool was a group of Diamond Dog quietly soaking in the pool.

The entire pack looked like they’d been put through the ringer, covered in bruises and even a black eye or two on some of them.

“Uh… Bwuh?”

Maud looked up, finally noticing Starlight staring slack-jawed at her. “Hello, Starlight. How nice of you to visit.”

Picking her jaw up off the floor, Starlight pointed at the opposite side of the pool. “Uh… Maud?”

Maud peered over at where Starlight was pointing. “Oh, those are the neighbours.” She stated in her omnipresent matter-of-fact way. “We argued on how to share the pool, but we sorted everything out. They stay on their side and I’ll stay on mine.”

Starlight blinked, slowly processing this new information. “Riiiight… want to go fly kites with me?” She grinned hopefully as she waved her kite above her head.

Maud seemed to consider this for a moment. “Sure.”

Rover watched Maud as she swam back to shore, growling at the humiliation he had suffered from the grey pony. “Stupid ponies…” he muttered, wincing as the water cleaned his bruises. “Could this get any worse?”

“Gems, oh shiny gems! How you shine so!”

“Shut up, Rufus!”