Strap in! It's all downhill from here!
Author's Note
~~YOU ALL~~... ~~SOME OF YOU~~... AT LEAST ONE PERSON THOUGHT IT DIDN'T GET ANY WEIRDER THAN MY LAST EPISODE TIE IN.
WELL I'LL SHOW HIM OR HER! I'LL SHOW HIM OR HER, ALL!
Strap in! It's all downhill from here!
“Well… I don’t really get it,” a gray earth pony stallion in a hard hat said, “but perhaps if you show me what you mean we can figure it out together!” he said with a nervous smile.
“Oh, yes please, Hard Hat!” A timid voice answered. “That would be perfect!”
“Miss Fluttershy?” A pink earth pony mare in a cowboy hat said as she rolled up a cart full of baskets. “I got those nest baskets you asked for! I mean... I don't really understand your approach to animals, but I'm eager to help out.” She too flashed a fearful smile.
“Right over there, Wrangler!” ‘Fluttershy’ said. “Right next to the stacks and stacks of used video games!”
“Ahem!” an annoyed mare’s voice sounded out.
“Uh, erm… Right next to those… brown box-shaped bushes?”
“Ye-yes ma’am!” Wrangler replied as she hurriedly pushed the cart full of baskets.
“Oh, Miss Fluttershy!” A yellow unicorn with a purple mustache and a quaffed two-tone off-white pink and purple mane crooned. “I have those pillows you wanted! Dir-dir…dirt bro—blast! I can’t say it!”
“Dandy!” Hard Hat exclaimed. “The sooner you can say your lines, the sooner we can all leave!”
Wrangler shot Dandy and imploring look. “Please just say the lines! I really just want to go home.”
“I’m sorry, everypony!” Dandy said as he glared at the other two. “But I have standards! Perhaps you two can sell yourselves so cheaply, but this pony is solid gold!”
“Cheaply?!” Hard Hat exclaimed. “We’re talking about our freedom, for crying out loud!”
“I know, right?” The timid voice said as it slipped into something much deeper and sultrier. “It’s like you all want to stay trapped in this basement with me. Not that anypony could blame you.”
“GHAAAAAAA! Cut! Cut!” a light blue pegasus mare flew onto the scene. Glaring at the three ponies. “You three are the WORST ponies I’ve ever had the misfortune of directing.”
“Sorry, Ms. Dusk!” Wrangler said as Hard Hat cringed and hid behind the pink mare. “Hard Hat and I are trying, but Dandy just refuses to cooperate!”
Hard Hat nodded in terrified agreement.
Dandy closed his eyes and stuck his nose in the air haughtily. “I’m sorry, Ms. Dusk. There are just some things I will NOT compromise on.”
Sonata narrowed her eyes and glared at Dandy. “That hairspray in your mane must be awful flammable, you know.”
“Kill us if you must.”
“That stallion does not speak for us!” Hard Hat stressed.
Dandy continued, “We’d rather die than continue this farce any longer!”
“No we wouldn’t!” Wrangler exclaimed.
“Ugh,” the deep mare’s voice called out. “He’s not good to me if he’s dead.”
Sonata tossed a scowl in the direction of the voice then gave Dandy an icepick smile and a twinkle of sadistic intent from her eyes. “Who said anything about killing you? Setting your mane, mustache, or tail on fire wouldn't be lethal… Still, ouch…third degree burns and pepper spray.”
Dandy’s eyes shot open wide. He opened his mouth to speak, but an incoherent babble is the only thing that came out.
Sonata tilted her head as her smile went full half-moon. “Yeah, that’s better…” She turned. “And Adagio,” she said leveling a forehoof. “You keep breaking character!”
An orange unicorn with curly orange mane almost as big as herself rolled her eyes. “Hey, I want to get to the juicy parts I helped write!”
“What the hell is going on down here?!” A purple earth pony mare with twin purple ponytails held up by large metal star hair clips called out as she stormed down a set of wooden chairs. She looked over Adagio, Sonata, and the trio of terrified ponies. “You know what? I don’t want to know.”
Hard Had pointed at Sonata. “She’s keeping us all down here against our will!”
“Not me,” Adagio said with a grin. “I’m enjoying or rather will enjoy time with our new guests.”
“I said I didn’t want to know!” Aria exclaimed.
Wrangler’s lip began to quiver. “But…”
“NO!” Aria cried.
Wrangler let out a sad whimper.
Sonata glared at Hard Hat. “And you’ve earned a few minutes in the timeout-from-air box!”
Hard Hat looked at Sonata fearfully. “But… but…” He pointed at Dandy. “He refuses to do his lines!”
Dandy glared at Hard Hat.
Sonata pursed her lips thoughtfully. “Fine.”
“What?! This is outrageous!” Dandy cried.
Hard Had let out a sigh of relief.
“You both can share the box!” Sonata declared.
Hard Hat and Dandy’s eyes flew open in terror.
“Please!” Wrangler implored as she looked up at Aria. “You have to help us! This crazy pony kidnapped us when we tried to leave Ponyville! We just… WE just had a disagreement with one of the locals regarding an animal sanctuary.”
“Seriously, I don’t care…” Aria said.
Wrangler continued, “And apparently, it caused a few animal injuries!”
“Oh my God! I could not care less!”
“This pony found out, and threatened to murder us until we made things right!”
“Just… Shut up, alright?!”
“We thought she meant help Fluttershy, but instead she took us to this basement and is forcing us to act out this weird play!”
“I can’t believe you won’t shut up!”
“Timeout box for EVERYPONY!” Sonata cheered happily.
Wrangler let out a few terrified sobs.
Aria groaned. “Okay… Now that I know and am possibly an accessory to this crime. I have several questions.”
“Shoot!” Sonata replied happily.
“That I’m going to direct at Adagio.”
“Aww…” Sonata uttered. She turned towards the other three ponies and began to cow the terrified group off. “Okay! It’s a few minutes without air for the lot of you! Don’t make me get the spray!”
Aria turned towards Adagio. “Dagi… Why are you down here aiding in whatever the heck all this is?”
Adagio grinned widely at Aria. “I helped write the script.”
Aria rolled her eyes. “Let me guess… there’s, like, a foursome at the end?”
“Oh, Aria, please,” Adagio said with a dismissive grin and wave of her forehoof. “While the foursome celebrating a job well done is how we all celebrate getting the animal sanctuary done, the timid lead has many opportunities to get to know the ponies building it more personally,” Adagio said as she fluffed her hair.
“That’s the other thing,” Aria said, “Why the hell does Sonata care about some stupid animal sanctuary? She’s a terror to all things! Even animals… especially animals.”
Sonata flapped up next to Adagio. “But, Aria! Think of all the poor helpless animals!”
“No.”
Sonata began to salivate. “The tasty… meat filled animals.”
Aria stared off into space. “You know. It’s really my fault for asking questions.”
“It really is,” Adagio agreed.
“Well, whatever… Love Tap is going to flip when she finds out about this…”
“I already know!” a mare’s voice called out.
Aria turned and stared up the stairs in disbelief. “What?! SERIOUSLY?! I MEAN, US THREE ARE MORALLY BANKRUPT!”
“It’s true!” Sonata said in a bubbly tone.
Adagio snickered. “Guilty.”
“BUT YOU’RE SUPPOSE TO KEEP US FROM DOING EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW!”
“Chip scored a Nintendo Switch!” Love Tap replied. “So I don’t really care about anything else right now… except for my family.”
“Ugh…” Aria replied. “That statement somehow warmed my black heart, and I kind of hate you for that.”
“My REAL family!” Love Tap added.
Sonata let out a sad whimper.
“… and Sonata.”
“YES!” Sonata cheered.
Aria shook her head. “This is so messed up…”
“I know, right?” Adagio said. “That prissy one would get the time of his life with me but he refuses to play ball…” Adagio rubbed at her chin with a forehoof. “Unless he plays ball for the other team…”
“Not that!” Aria cried as she turned and bolted up the stairs, her ponytails whipping behind her. “I can’t believe we got a Switch and nopony told me!”
Sonata and Adagio watched as Aria bolted upstairs and slammed the door behind her. They looked at each other and shrugged.
Sonata began walking towards a large metal box that rang out with hollow bangs. Bangs that were growing less frequent and quieter. Adagio followed.
“Do you think we’ll actually get in trouble for this?” Sonata asked.
“Naw…” Adagio answered. “It’s not like anypony is going to miss these three if they never see them again.”
“Good point!”
The end.
