Twilight and Celestia sat around in the classroom that the older mare had set up and looked at it. Twilight had no idea what it was, but Celestia was familiar with the object because of her long life. She’d seen a great many in her time, though she’d slowed down when she became a princess of Equestria. Still, how it had gotten there befuddled her like no other, and she was quite unwilling to touch it.

Twilight moved to poke it with a hoof and Celestia stopped her. “Twilight, I don’t think that’s the best idea.”

The purple mare was hopelessly confused. “But what is it, Princess? I’ve never seen anything like it.

Celestia coughed. “Are you sure? I know you spend most of your time studying, but surely you’ve seen one before.”

Twilight shrugged. “I guess I’ve just never been to where they come from. Do you know what it is?”

“Well, of course I do.” Celestia blushed.

Twilight looked at her expectantly for an awkward amount of time. “...Are you going to tell me what it is?”

Celestia sighed and shook her head. “I don’t think it’s my place, dear. Maybe you should find a nice stallion to explain?”

“But if you know what it is, then why won’t you just tell me? It’s not bad, is it?”

Celestia found the ceiling quite interesting. “Perhaps we should continue this lesson in another room.”

Twilight huffed and poked the thing while Celestia looked away. The thing twitched and started to rise, but after that, nothing else happened, so Twilight poked it again. She kept poking it until it stood up straight on the table. How it had gotten there, she had no idea, so she tried to pick it up with magic to no avail. Twilight tried whacking it around with her hoof since it didn’t seem to be fragile, but Celestia’s magic pulled her away before she could do anything else.

“Twilight! Don’t touch it!” Celestia cried.

“Why not? Is it poisonous or something?” Twilight asked, mildly irritated.

Celestia sighed. “It’s… We don’t know where it came from, Twilight. We don’t know who put it there, and it seems unwise to mess with it. You’re always so good about listening, so listen to me when I say don’t touch it, okay?”

“If I can’t touch it, then why don’t you tell me about it?” Twilight watched as the thing shrank, looking pitiful on the table.

Celestia looked very uncomfortable. “Well, talking about such things with an innocent pony doesn’t stroke- I mean strike! Strike! It doesn't strike me as wise decision.”

“What do you mean innocent? I haven’t done anything wrong, have I?” Twilight asked nervously.

Celestia shook her head. “No Twilight, you haven’t done anything wrong. Again, let’s just have class in another room.”

Twilight looked at Celestia for a long moment and shrugged. “If you want to, Princess.”

The Alicorn breathed a sigh of relief and lead the way out of the room, though Twilight took the time to poke the thing one last time. They walked around, looking for a suitable room to have class in, and once they found one, they got down to brass tacks. Twilight’s usual bombardment of questions seemed awfully light today to Celestia, but she was just thankful to have a break from the usual rapid fire assault that Twilight liked to throw at her.

They finished with class a few hours later and Twilight went back to her room in the tower, but she couldn’t stop thinking about the thing. She tried reading to get her mind off of it, but that didn’t work, so she tried going for a walk around the castle. When that didn’t work, Twilight returned to her room and told Spike all about the thing and even drew a picture of it for him. Spike said the the thing looked familiar, but that he’d most likely seen one long ago when they still lived with Twilight’s parents. For some odd reason, Spike started talking about Night Light and baths after that, but neither of them understood just what the connection could be. Twilight made up her mind and decided that she would go back to the classroom and examine the thing like a true scientist would. She began putting some of her testing equipment into a bag and found the patience to wait until night.

Spike was fast asleep when Twilight made her move. She left her room and tried to appear casual as she passed the castle staff, milling about, fulfilling their nightly duties before going home. She was unfamiliar with most of the night staff, so she avoided them as best she could on her way back to the classroom. Once she arrived, she cast a light spell so that she could see and walked up to the thing. Twilight pulled out her equipment and started taking measurements of it, but it would jump and twitch every time something touched it. Twilight became annoyed rather quickly,

“Why won’t you stay still!” she hissed as she worked.

She gave up on trying to measure it while it was small and decided to make it grow again, but all she had done before was poke it. Since she wasn’t pressed for time, Twilight touched it with her hoof and felt warmth radiating from it. She rubbed it with said hoof and felt that it stiffened as she did, though she still didn’t quite understand why it did so. Twilight was curious, so she gave it an experimental sniff. It smelled kind of like a pony to her, but she didn’t know what kind of pony would have one of these. If it was something from a pony, then what was it? She sniffed it again just to be sure and decided to poke it with a quill. The quill left an ink blot on the thing, so Twilight tried to rub the spot off with her hoof, though all that did was make the thing wave around like it was alive.

The thing had already possessed Twilight’s interest, but now it had her full attention. For some odd reason, she felt compelled to lick it, so she gave it a try. It actually tasted like a unique combination of oranges and blueberries, so she tried licking it again. It tasted rather good, but when Twilight tried to bite it, she heard a sudden yelp from a good distance away that scared her. She heard the same sound when she tried again, so she shrugged and put the thing in her mouth. It tasted even better when she had the top part in her mouth, so she suckled on the thing for a little while before taking some more measurements.

Twilight felt the compunction to lock the door, just in case Celestia came in to see if the thing was still there, so she left the thing alone and made sure that she wouldn’t be bothered. She ran a few tests that wouldn’t hurt the thing, just in case it really was alive, but throughout her testing, Twilight had wanted to taste the thing again. She thought that she was just being silly, but after a few minutes, she gave in to her desires and put the thing back in her mouth. She licked the top of it and found that it was actually secreting a condensed form of the flavor she liked so much, which made her want to keep doing it. The secretion kept coming, so Twilight kept licking. She didn’t know how long she had done it, but she wanted to see if she could fit the whole thing into her mouth now.

Surely enough, Twilight just didn’t have the room for it. “Why does it taste so good if it’s not edible?” She asked herself. “Maybe it’s a soft jawbreaker or something, but it doesn’t seem to be melting like candy would. How curious.”

She jotted down some notes and her observations about the thing before she put it back in her mouth. The thing throbbed when she did, which scared her a little bit. Twilight pulled away and watched it twitch, but since it hadn’t hurt her so far and it wasn’t poisonous, she saw no reason to stop. She continued licking and sucking on the thing for about three minutes before something shot into her mouth. It was a concentrated form of the secretion, but there was so much of it! Twilight liked the taste, so she clamped her mouth over it while the thing shot rope after gooey rope of tasty goo. She’d gotten a little on her face, but a little magic made sure that she didn’t waste a drop. For some odd reason, the thing rapidly deflated, much to Twilight’s displeasure. She’d been hoping for another helping of whatever it was.

There was a sudden banging on the door that terrified her. Twilight panicked and hid under the desk, forgetting that she could teleport away. She did, however, remember to grab her equipment and hid it alongside her. She heard the door open and two sets of hooves came cantering in quickly.

“I-I could have sworn someone was in here! I felt it!” A male voice said.

“Be silent, Flash, lest somepony come and find us.” Luna chided in a low voice.

Flash gulped and looked around. “I know somepony was here!” He hissed.

Luna trotted over to the desk and inspected the thing. “It is wet. Thou are correct, mine concubine, somepony has done something to thine phallus.”

‘Phallus?’ Twilight thought. ‘What’s a phallus?’

`“Somepony bit me! Twice!” Flash exclaimed quietly.

`‘Bit him? I bit the thing, but what does that have to do with Flash?’ Twilight thought.

“Be quiet. Whoever they were, they are gone. Perhaps detaching you phallus was not the wisest move.” Luna admitted.

“I told you that, but you wanted to do something extra kinky! Nopony ever listens to me!”

Luna clambered onto the desk and Twilight froze in place. “Thou complain too much. Allow me to make it up to thee.”

Twilight heard Luna make a thud on the desk, but she wasn’t sure why Princess Luna would be dropping herself onto the desk unless it had something to do with the ‘phallus’. Twilight pondered it for while, but she just couldn’t think of a logical explanation. After the thudding didn’t stop and the moaning started, Twilight’s curiosity got the better of her and she peeked at the spectacle that was going on above her. The thing on the desk was inside Princess Luna, but not in her mouth. Twilight gasped as she realized that Luna riding the thing with it inside of her, and when Luna whipped her head in her direction, Twilight made the right call, grabbing her things and teleporting out before she could be spotted.

Twilight paced around her room, wondering what had just happened in front of her. It had caused a stirring in her lower half that wouldn’t cease, but she didn’t know why it was happening, so she wrote a note to Celestia and teleported it to her, asking what kind of act includes a mare putting a phallus inside of her… Private area. Celestia sent back a note a few seconds later and teleported into Twilight’s room.

After a very long, extremely awkward talk, Twilight made a quick trip to the bathroom.

Author's Note

So Twilight found a thing. Random ideas are fun to give form to on occasion. Maybe I'll write something that doesn't involve sex sometime.

As Always, Don't touch the thing.

Stay Cool, Kids.