A Thousand Little Words

by Nightly Malevolence

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Dark, Sad, Other, Original Character, Tragedy, Random
Length: 3299

This is the life story and the journal entries of a young stallion who suffers from depression and low self-esteem, and a princess who promised to be with him every step of the way

Journal Entry no 1

I'm not used to this sort of thing. It honestly feels like I'm writing a letter.
To who in particular, I'm not entirely sure. Maybe just another sob story for another
useless pony in a world where every day is about the same as the last.
In a world where we are all trapped to the cursed "talents" that we all have, only to be referred to as a cutie mark.
My name is Nightly Malevolence.
This is my story...

Published 2017-05-11 04:50:15 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-16 00:31:53 UTC

Tell More Than a Story

Journal Entry no. 2

Wake up...

Work...

Sleep...

The cycle continues as each day goes by, ponies growing up then earning their cutie marks...

then doing what their talents tell them to do for the rest of their lives.

Each birthday I have is meaningless, it just reminds me of how much closer I am to dying a lonely death.

Each day makes me weaker and that's why my mother gave me this journal,

"the medication that we could afford" I call it.

I don't see any other reason for this, I'll just keep taking the pills, just a few more and I would be ready to take on what awaits me in the
afterlife, if there even is one, just another mystery in the world we live in.

We do all of the hard work and half of what we earn turns to dust, thanks to the non stopping revolving of our world called time.

But other than that I am being forced to do this, like I said.

At this point I'm just rambling to myself while listening to what I call music while trying to fall asleep, but until tomorrow I will keep record what happens.

Nightly Malevolence

End of Entry no. 2

Night looked to his work, then out the window, sighing deeply he rose to his hooves and adjusted his glasses. Noticing the storm clouds that blocked Luna's moon he slowly went to his bed and fell onto it, face planting straight onto the pillow.

A knock from his door made him sigh and rise once again.

"Come in." He said dully, the door opening and his brother came inside.

"Dinner is ready"

His brother then took his leave from Nightly's domain, his sanctuary, a place of inner peace and relieving stress.

But none of that would matter, based on the fact that he lived in lower class Manehattan. He went to school but it was nothing special, a place where the budget was cut so everything was either broken, stolen, vandalized, or just worn out.

Cutting the thought from his mind he began walking downstairs to his kitchen where he found his father, and three brothers dining without him. He looked into the pot to see barely a tablespoon of soup that would be left for him. It wasn't much so he just left it for one of the others.

He didn't care who, just as long as they could keep moving than it was all that matters.

Although he didn't care much for himself, Nightly is a very selfless pony. Putting other before himself, especially when it comes down to food and money for his family and "home".

His home was a small 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom home where he had to share with at least 6 other ponies, none had jobs. Nopony said anything about it, not even his brothers. They all knew they were just taking advantage of their father for...specific reasons. Nightly didn't care at this point, he knew that their father was too laid back and easy going just like him to do anything about it. Like father like son huh?

Nightly went back into his room and lay back down onto his twin sized cot, which he had to share with his brother, it would even get to the point where he would have to lay on the ground with nothing but his bed sheet and coat to keep him warm.

He eventually passed out, darkness over taking his mind he then took a deep breath and passed into the night.

Nightly stood in a field of dying grass and looked around himself only to see a tree, a dying one in fact. Roots in the ground dying from exhaustion, but there was a small hint of color which took his attention. One green leaf, he slowly trotted towards the tree in confusion but everything went beyond that for what he heard next.

"Child...why do your feelings hurt us?" Nightly jumped at the sight and turned around to see darkness engulf the landscape, so he did what his did best.

Ran, he ran until he was far away, not from this dream but from everything, his fears, problems, and everything to go with it.

He didn't understand what was going on until he tripped and the fears caught up with him. Engulfing him along with the rest of this nightmare. Until...he felt something, a light brush on his mane and head. He was trembling to the point where he buried his head in his hooves then a soothing voice called out to him, "Nightly Malevolence...why are you in so much pain?"

His eyes opened and he rose his head slowly but cautiously, to make sure that he wasn't just hearing things. But he saw a shade of blue, and then a mare, Princess Luna.

Nightly slowly backed away, he knew the tales of Nightmare Moon and how she would bring everlasting darkness to Equestria, as well as visit young stallions and colts in their dreams so they could die of fear. But this was different...there was no flesh tearing teeth or eyes that glow.

Just a beautiful princess who was here, for him astoundingly. But why has she come to him? He looked up towards the Princess and examined her, she was nothing of the tales that everypony would rumor about. His lips trembled as he tried to speak but she could only make out confused mumbling. She was the one to break the silence.

"Young colt, why are you trembling at the sight of us?"

"I...I didn't...p-please..."

She lightly set her hoof upon his lips.

"Shh...don't be afraid, that would the last thing that we would want..."

Nightly looked around them both, but nothing was near them.

'Who's "we"?' he thought to himself. He lost his thoughts until the Princess spoke up again.

"We know you are confused, that is why we are here to explain...this is your Dreamscape..."

"D-Dreamscape?"

Luna nodded, "The place of your inner thoughts, fears and feelings. Everpony's dream who I have visited has one, each have various feelings that we have felt before. Happiness, sorrow, and several others. But you... have felt things that nopony your age should feel..."

Night looked down and held his tears in.

The princess took pity on the young colt and sat beside him, wrapping a wing around him just before continuing.

"We are here to tell you things are only going to get worse."

Night closed his eyes, his eyes were practically fountains at this point, but he made no sounds. The wind rustling in the grass and blowing the poisoned tree were the only things he heard, other than the princess's voice.

He knew it wasn't going to get any better, he was afraid, Luna was afraid for him.

He then felt cold, he looked to find no princess, but he knew that she was still with him. He felt her presence and heard her voice.

"That last leaf is all you have left, it is up to you to keep it alive, and make it whole once again as it has in the past. I cannot intervene, nor anypony else. It is your burden to keep. Just know that I will be with you here, so you are never alone dear child..."

Then silence....

Through The Days

Journal Entry no. 2

Wake Up
School
Sleep

What was that dream all about? Was the Princess of the Night here...or wherever that was?

No...it must have been a mistake. Why would someone of such authority want anything to do with me? Especially one of the rulers of Equestria?

Too many questions that I can't answer, I honestly doubt that Dad or one of my brothers would have a clue about it. Might as well forget about it and keep waiting.

Nah well...nothing we can do about it now... I just want to keep sleeping...if only someone could turn the sun off...permanently.

End of Entry no. 2

Night lay his head on the desk and sighed deeply, he looked out the window and knew that it was nearly time for school. He hopped off the chair and rubbed his face with his hooves.

Noticing the bags under his eyes he grabbed his reading glasses and set them upon his muzzle. Hoping that the light's reflection would block his eyes for the time being.

He wandered into the hall and looked at the bathroom door, lights on and the sound of water running filled his ears, his brothers and himself usually woke up earlier to make it to school early enough not to be late. It's only downfall was that it was always cold as hell, he looked into his closet and saw very few sweaters, the ones that were there were either torn, worn out, or just too gross to be around.

Instead, he just put on his usual favorite black and white hoodie, not that it matches his midnight blue coat and black and blue mane but because it fit, and it actually kept him warm...for the most part.

He heard the bathroom door open and he slipped inside, and did the usual routine; brushed his teeth, and stared at himself in the mirror. Before leaving he levitated himself a cup of hot water and splashed it unto his face, feeling the refreshing cool air push itself unto his face.
He heard a knock on the door, undoubtedly his brother.

“Hey, Night! Hurry or we'll be late!”
Sighing, he set his glasses upon his face again and turned off the water.
“One sec...”

He spoke dully and opened the door, letting himself out he walked out the door and alongside his brothers and they walked down the road, passing ponies, of different colors, sizes and talents. And there he was, another faithless sap walking upon this world that fate had in store for him.
Yeah, he could use magic, so what? It wasn't anything special. His brothers were in the same situation as he was but at least they could keep their heads up. Be happy for what talents they had, his bigger brother was an Earth pony, his other a Pegasus, and there was Nightly. Just a unicorn, like there wasn't any others in this world that could easily take his place.

As they made it unto the street where their school was, they crossed carefully and walked into the main doors. Passing by other ponies converting, giving small glances to the three. Shadow, Night's big brother went his own way, to his friends, and Streak, his other brother, went to his group, while Night just kept making his way through the crowd. Right into his class room, so the day could finally begin.

The hardest part about having low self esteem is when everything is so...quiet. You can hear the whispers and giggling, but you think that it's you. Night was always insecure about himself, whether it was his looks to the things he said, he just never had the gut to tell anyone how he felt about things. So there was no better choice other than falling asleep in class.

Once again, Night saw nothing but darkness. But he did hear rustling of leaves and grass in the wind, his eyes opened and he was back. Into the so called Dreamscape. He wandered around once again in the familiar landscape, taking in the sights before taking a deep breath.
”Hello”
He felt his heart race, he jumped back into a fur coat, it was warm, and a soothing presence engulfed him. He didn't feel any stress whatsoever.
“I-I'm sorry!”
He quickly turned around and backed away quickly from the Lunar princess.
He shook relentlessly and looked down.
“Punish me if you will, just make it quick!”
He felt tears run along his face.

”Young colt, I am not here to punish you. We are here to check your current condition, and you're not doing any better than you were last time you visited. But I believe now isn't the time, you must wake up. Your problems will not be solved by sleeping and being tired, you have to put in the effort to make your tree thrive again.

Night exhaled deeply and looked towards his dying tree, he knew that he had to try, but he felt that there was no need to, he was far from getting better at this rate.
He walked towards the tree and observed the trunk thoroughly, he noticed the black slugs eating away at the tree's health, deforming the once lively organism.

'I. . . . I'm not strong enough to deal with this. . . . I'd be better off like the tree'
Night exhaled deeply and held back the frustration, just like he would always do, he never let out his emotions, he just kept them bottled up.
Never telling anyone how he felt, he would just reply with a quick; “I'm fine” whenever his therapist or any pony else would try to get more out of him. This was because of his social life, which was never his strongest cup of tea. He'd spend most of his time inside his own home, unlike his brothers, they were a bunch of social butterflies.

He'd always hope for somepony to help him, no, save him from this nightmare that was his and his brother's lives. This house, this, cursed...”lifestyle”, if you could call it that, not much life in it though. At least for ME there isn't, everyone else I know can be as lively as they want, just leave me out of it. Night took his hoof off the tree and looked towards the princess, who was obviously lost in thought, her gaze never leaving the cursed tree. Hell, she didn't even acknowledge the fact that I was standing beside her. Did she even have anything better to do than to come here? Surely she did, the Princess of the Night obviously wouldn't come here daily...or nightly to see me. There was no point to begin with, he wasn't able to get help like she said.

Before he could say something there was a violent shake all around them, I doubt that there could be earthquakes inside dreams. I looked to where the princess was standing but didn't see the Princess anywhere, guess that this was the time for him to wake.

Nightly shot up with a quick gasp, he looked around to see his peers all giving him a confused look, some even snickering at this foolishness. Nothing new, he was used to making an ass out of himself. Not that he always did but he was always getting in trouble for shit he wasn't involved with whatsoever. As soon as the bell rang to dismiss them be was out of his seat before his teacher could even lecture him about how, “Education is important and a vital factor and benefit for your future.” 'Future? To Tartars with my future, I couldn't care less about whatever hell would await me then.'

As usual, he would wait outside after school for his brothers when they'd finish chatting with their friends to get home. They just sit there for minutes talking about sports, video games, and the other things that ponies would talk about. As far as it was his concern Night didn't care, he just wanted to go home, eat some food, it didn't matter. Getting out of public was his primary objective. He practically begged his brothers with his gaze to hurry up, but didn't help. Instead of the routine he was used to he was told by his brothers that he would have to walk home alone, they were going to spend the night at their friends, it was Friday so it wasn't surprising.

Night wasn't very fond of walking home alone, not that he didn't know the route back, he was just worried about anything else. Manehattan isn't the best place to get caught walking home in the middle of the afternoon. Thugs, robbers, and maybe murderers aren't really common in that area but he heard what it would be like if he was to come in contact with them. Stories about how young colts and fillies wouldn't make it home late night because of these atrocities. It made him sick to his stomach.

As he made his way back home he couldn't help but notice that it was getting rainy, it wouldn't be a problem, all he had to do was put his hoodie on, but it wouldn't protect him forever. Making his way through the gloomy weather he noticed some homeless ponies in an alley, his heart ached at the sight, but he didn't have many bits. At least 12 was with him from leftover birthday presents. He took a deep breath, he took some steps toward the alleyway, he took several looks around to make sure nopony else would notice this. Its hard not to get spot by money hungry freaks who are out to scam you out of your bits.

“Excuse me, you may need this more than me. It's not much but I hope it helps.”
The group took notice of his presence and gave him a warm smile. One of them stepped out to him.
“Thank you young gentlecolt.” His voice was ragged and dry.
“We really appreciate your act of kindness.”
Nightly handed them the 6 bits, so he could save some for himself.
He took a couple steps out of the alley before looking back and trotting his way back home. This genuine act of kindness made him feel good inside, he hated to see others in sorrow and worse situations than he was so he hoped that would help those ponies get a jump start.

But his father told him one thing;

“Too much kindness is a bad thing Nightly, you don't want to know the feeling when people desire or expect too much for you. It was their choices that got them where they were so you shouldn't pity them for their own decisions. No matter how much it hurts to watch.”

“Tough love huh?” He spoke to nopony in particular, maybe himself but that was about it.

Was he going crazy now? Talking to himself was unusual even for him. He shook off the thought and kept focusing on where he was walking, it wasn't rare for him to accidentally trip over something or run into somepony. He looked around to see that his act of kindness has earned him a couple rotten looks from passing ponies. He gulped on his own saliva for a second before picking the pace up, he was a good 10-15 minutes home. He heard some chatter behind him and kept a good ear out.

With his peripherals he noticed at least 3 stallions trailing him, one pegasus, two earth ponies.
He knew at least he heard; "Follow...take...submission." Or that's what his ears were telling him. Nightly took several turns to try to shake off the stallions, he knew he would have to make a run for it eventually. He took a small stop at a nearby market to buy a quick refreshment. He noticed the 3 outside sitting on a bench. He had to act suspicious and try not to attract any attention to himself.

He stepped outside and kept going towards his destination, it wasn't long before he noticed the three stallions tailing him once again. He looked in an nearby alley which he used for a shortcut at sometimes, he knew it was his best bet for this. He took a deep breath and adjusted his glasses.

'3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . Now!'