Twilight sighs in contentment as she sets her fork down. “I don't know how you make just eggs and leftover veggies so good, Spike.”

As another small bite of your own meal goes down, you can’t help but share the sentiment. The little lizard has gone above and beyond. “My compliments, as well,“ you start, cutting another small piece with the edge of your fork. “I would not expect a little lizard like you to be so accomplished at a young age..?” You trail off and glance at Twilight, who seems to understand your unspoken question and nods.

The bashful expression on Spike’s face drops as he processes your words, his eyes narrowing. “Hey!” he exclaims, startling you some. “I’m not a lizard, I’m a dragon. Can’t you tell?”

“Erm…” Again, you look to Twilight for help, hoping you didn’t just commit some sort of major faux pas. You really need to start choosing your words better.

“Spike,” she starts after meeting your eyes. “Anon’s not even from this world, remember? I doubt he could tell what you are at a glance.” As she says that, an odd expression you have trouble identifying flashes past her face. She looks closer at you with a questioning glint in her purple orbs.

“Well…” Spike starts, his hostility seemingly defused. “Okay, I can understand that, but!” He looks at you sharply. “I’m a dragon, NOT a lizard.”

“Got it,” you tell him with your hands up and palms facing him, hoping he’ll take it as a disarming gesture.“I’ll remember it. I didn’t intend to offend.”

The indignation drains from the purple reptile. “Eh. No harm done I guess.”

“That actually brings me to what I wanted to ask you both.”

Green meets purple as the two odd creatures in front of you look at each other, then back to you.

After pushing your empty plate to the side, you lean forward and lace your fingers together. “We’ve already got introductions out of the way, but I’m going to need more information on both your people and this place. Forgive me for being blunt, but I get the feeling that my commissioning a way back to my home is going to be a long and maybe costly affair.”

Twilight’s mouth starts to open to say something, but you keep going.

“So it’s not unreasonable to assume I’ll be here for... a while,” you tell them, your voice grim. “If I’m going to live and work here until I can return back, then I would appreciate some of your time in the form of an… information exchange. I have a great number of things I would like to know, and I assume you have at least a few questions. The last thing I want to do here is make my stay unpleasant because I accidentally offend someone.” Your piece said, lean on your arms and anxiously await a response.

Both the pony and the dragon look at each other, both seeming confused. Then as one, they both turn your attention to you.

...

As subtly as you can, you gulp and try to keep keep your breathing even as the large green and purple eyes bore into you with unnatural scrutiny. People always say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, but what good do the large eyes do you if the soul you peer into is so confusingly familiar, yet otherworldly? You didn’t just offend them, did you?

“Anon…” Twilight starts off carefully, as if raising her voice would cause catastrophe. “I… We…” She stops, her gaze traveling along the wall unsurely as if what she wants to say is written there.

“Wait! You think Twilight is just going to kick you to the curb and CHARGE you for her helping?!” Spike sputters, as if the the very notion is unthinkable. “How did you even come to that?!” The young drake seems to have summed up his older companion’s thoughts since her attention returns to you.

Faced with the small reptile’s accusing face and Twilight’s odd expression you cannot hope to place, you crush the sudden and powerful urge to turn away.

What did he mean by that? ‘How did you even come to that’, you mean.

You have to pay for services. It’s as simple as that... Unless the economy here is something you’re not familiar with. With powers such as magic at their disposal, you can’t imagine that Twilight’s people are wanting for anything.

Unbidden, old fairy tales of fae, sprites, and other spirits whose blood ran rich with magic comes to the forefront of your mind.

Sweat dots your brow.

It’s all stories of said spirits using their titanic power to draw mortals into one-sided deals and monkey-paw wishes for their own amusement. Some of the old tales are just magic creatures outright abusing their gifts, delighting in the suffering the unlucky souls who wandered past them.

None of the malicious creatures could hope to match the godly feat that Twilight claims to have done. What part that the Einstein-Rosen bridge played in everything is unknown, but you’ve seen examples of the magic at work. At the absolute least, Twilight can induce anomalous phenomena, which is more than enough reason to be wary of her.

The small pang of guilt in your chest for keeping your hand in your lap just a twitch away from your Glock fades.

“Unless I’m mistaken, which I very well could be,” you start, breaking out of your dark thoughts, “then usually there’s some kind of payment involved when someone performs a service for you, am I right or no?

“You’re right…” Twilight murmurs, looking away again.

You nod, already wracking your brain for a profitable talent where magic is common. Unsurprisingly, you dont-

“...But I’m not taking any money for it.”

-Come up with much. Maybe you could-!

“Wait, what?!” you yelp, tensing your limbs to both run and draw your weapon in one movement. If she’s wanting something other than currency…

A full body shiver runs down your spine. Thoughts that would not be out of place in a Lovecraftian book come to the forefront of your mind.

The small winged unicorn tilts her head “Anon? What the mat...ter…” she asks, her voice trailing off as her face goes pale, an impressive feat given her fur. “No no no!” She shouts, frantically waving her forelegs as her ruffled wings shoot open. “I-it’s not THAT I’m after! Not t-t-to say you’re, um a-ah? B-because you’re very, um, I don’t even… I would never ever force something like that on ANY stallion!”

A nervous ‘Heh’ finds it’s way out of your throat. “You sure? I can’t very well fight magic of all things…”

YOU STUPID FUCK WHAT HAPPENED TO THINKING BEFORE TALKING?!

Your hostess’ face goes from white to green in an unnervingly human show of illness. “A-anon, no… I would never…Especially n-not with magic...” she says weakly, her ears and wings drooping.

“U-um. Guys?”

Both you and a still green Twilight turn to Spike, who is nervously wringing the end of his tail in his paws.

The guilt clutching your chest comes back for a different reason now.

“Erm… Why don't you go get the girls, Spike?” Twilight asks gently, a reassuring smile blooming on her face. “I’m sure this is something they’ll want to know about.”

Spike nods demurely and slides out of his chair, padding away out of the kitchen. A few seconds later, a door with a squeaky hinge opens, then shuts.

It’s silent now.

A minute passes, and Twilight doesn't strike you down.

Then five minutes pass. Your gaze is firmly glued to your own lap.

“Anon?”

Your head shoots up, and you can't hold back a cringe at Twilight’s forcefully neutral face.

“I’m sorry.”

The apology is weak, and to your shame, timid. She doesn't answer right away.

Finally, she lets out a shaky breath. “I understand this is a lot to take in, and is probably frightening, Anon. I cannot apologize enough for trapping you here, but please.” Her face slowly falls into a frown. “Even if you're only implying such… things, don't do so in front of Spike. He’s young, but well read. He understands more than he should, but a school-colt age drake has no business hearing such things. Neither do I enjoy the attack to my integrity.”

You’ve genuinely overstepped yourself now. Don’t suggest magic torture in front of kids, got it. Easy.

A nod is her answer, as you don't trust your dry mouth to work correctly.

Her smile returns. “Thank you.” Just as she opens her mouth to speak further, both you and her jump a little when the sound of the door opening and slamming shut echos through the library.

“Hey, Twilight!”

With a whoosh! of displaced air so violent that your ears pop, a flying, blue pony enters the kitchen so fast that it may have as well materialized from thin air.

Wait, flying?

For what seems to be the hundredth time today, you find yourself wondering if your eyes are deceiving you.

Hovering around head height is another pony, similar to Twilight in body structure, but totally different in coloration. It’s coat is the same color as the sky on a cloudless day and, ridiculously enough, it’s mane and tail are streaked in the colors of the rainbow. But what grabs your attention the most is the fact that the eye-catching pony is hovering with lazy flaps of wings FAR too small to hold it’s frame aloft. You’re no biologist or an expert on avians, but the surface area on those wings…

Someone would have better results hopping off a roof with cardboard strapped to their arms, or so you think. Were the wings on Twilight not some sort of vestigial evolutionary leftover after all?

“So I got done with the first Cyclone Rider book and you were right, it was awesome!” The interloper says in a rough, but still feminine voice. “Get’s kinda sappy and magic-nerdy at parts, but I guess you need something between all the action,” she says, setting the book on the table. “Does it have a sequel?” She asks eagerly, tapping the hardback book with a hoof.

“Erm, Rainbow Dash? I’ve kind of got company...”

Her name is RAINBOW DASH? Jesus, even with the threat of Twilight unmaking you or some other unholy punishment, you still almost bite out a cutting remark.

The now named Rainbow Dash follows Twilight’s nervous gaze to you, looking over her shoulder to do so. Her mouth drops open into an “O” shape as her interest in her book is forgotten. The nearby air is displaced in a rush once again as the flying pony moves so fast that she vanishes and reappears.

Right in your face, her magenta eyes just inches from yours.

Instinct takes over.

“Shit!”

Your chair flies and clatters loudly against the wall with how fast your rise and retreat, hand on your pistol.

Rainbow recoils herself. Startled, she flies up and out of your reach. Her wide eyes then narrow as a frown forms on her face. “Hey pal, what’s the big idea?” she demands more than asks. Her chest puffs up as she finishes speaking, making the tuft of fur on her front poof out, and you hear what sounds like a threatening trill in the back of her throat.

“The big idea?” you ask, perturbed. “Your face was inches from mine. Did you expect me to react any other way?”

The rainbow pony’s glare loses it’s edge, a twinge of confusion replacing it.

“Rainbow, hold on!” Twilight cuts in, her tone demanding. “Let me explain for once BEFORE you fly off the handle.”

With a displeased grumble, Rainbow lowers herself into the chair Spike had vacated and folds her wings, leveling you with a narrow stare.

You, meanwhile, hook a foot around the leg of your own chair and pull it back under you, sitting and trying to keep your trembling limbs still as your adrenal glands stops feeding superhuman energy into your system.

Twilight’s apologetic expression and Rainbow’s slowly falling face tell you that you didn’t hide it well enough.

A sigh escapes you. God damn these little equines and their ability to make you feel like the bad guy when they’re in the wrong. It’s the faces, you silently surmise. The child-like faces of these quadrupeds practically splash neon colors of emotion in each feature you care to name on them.

“Maybe we started off on the wrong foot…” You offer to Rainbow, making her perk up in interest. “Rainbow Dash, was it? My name is Anonymous, or Anon for short.”

The remaining guilt on the winged pony’s face disappears, replaced with a half-smile. “Heya. Names Rainbow Dash, but you knew that. I’m Ponyville’s weather manager and the fastest pegasus pony alive!” She exclaims, voice brimming with pride.

So, blue and fast? It’s only your desire to not burn bridges that keeps the Sonic joke on your tongue suppressed. Knowing your luck, it’ll still count as an insult here.

Her intro answered some questions, and raised others, though.

“The pleasure’s all mine,” you say, trying and remaining pleasant. It wasn’t hard when your space wasn’t being invaded. “I’m sorry in advance if this is offensive, but Ponyville? If your people are called ponies, then doesn't that seem a little…Silly? It’s like if I founded a town and just called it ‘Humantown’ or something,” you say, pushing a little to see how either of the ponies responded.

The prismatic pegasus furrows her brows and brings a hoof to her chin, a thoughtful “Hmm” in her throat. She holds the pose for a grant total of seven seconds before shrugging carelessly.

At the same time, her horned and winged friend’s eyes widen as a grin finds it’s way to her face. Pressure builds and levels out on your strange phantom sense as a quill, an inkpot, and a length of parchment float into the room. “So your species are called ‘hyomanes’?” She asks, seemingly delighted with the new information. “I’ve been wondering. I’ve got so many questions, in fact!” Twilight says joyfully as her inked quill scratches at the parchment rapidly. “Would you mind answering a few?” she asks, eyes bright with hope.

“Soon,” you tell her, withholding a wince as her look goes from “kid on Christmas” to “kicked puppy” in a split second. “You sent Spike out of find some of your friends, right?”

The purple pony nods despondently.

“Maybe we should wait for them, just so I’m not explaining this a bunch of times.”

Twilight mulls it over. “I guess I can wait,” she finally concludes with obvious reluctance. Her floating writing tools settle on the table and the pressure on your sense fades.

“Say,” Rainbow chimes in, blinking at you curiously. “How do you know Twilight, Anon? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a… Whatever you are before.”

“If I’ve been hearing right,” you begin, sending Twilight a glance, “then Twilight summoned me on accident with magic. More things could be at play, but it’s just speculation right now.” It could have been nothing, but you swear Twilight’s ear twitched when you said ‘More things could be at play’.

“Hmm…”

Rainbow takes flight with a single beat of her wings, hovering closer to you, but thankfully not enough that a reflexive swing would catch her. “So you’re like an alien, or something?” She asks, her head tilting to the side.

You give her a simple nod.

A grin blossoms on her face. “That’s cool. You ever zap bad gals with an alien zapper? Or ever...” Her grin turns mischievous “Ever probe somepony?”

“OKAY! We’re stopping that one there!” the redfaced winged unicorn cuts in. “I think you’ve watched one too many cheesy alien flicks, Rainbow,” she finishes, tone accusing.

Flicks? As in movies? That tells you a little more about ponies, or at least their technological level.

The rainbow hued pony looks between you and her friend, eventually stopping on her fellow pony. “Twi? What was the point in doing your summoning thing?”

“I wanted to make friend’s across worlds,” your purple host explains, her whole form deflating. “I thought it would be a jumpstart on my new duties considering I’m the Princess of Friendship.”

Princess of Friendship? Is that ceremonial title or something? The way she said it seems to mean something more literal.

“But I made a mistake, and trapped Anon in Equestria,” she finishes, looking at the floor with the sparkle in her large eyes dim.

Gloom settles over the quant kitchen.

Rainbow uneasily looks between you and the now downtrodden Twilight, her muzzle scrunched up in an expression you have no analog for. Then you can practically see the light bulb blink into being above the hovering pony’s head. “Say, Twi?”

The ‘princess’ looks up at her now slyly smirking friend. “So you can’t send away what you bring here, eh? How’s about making me a harem of guys?”

Twilight’s forehead meets the table with an entertaining Thunk! and a groan. “Real classy, Rainbow.”

The pegasus just laughs, but her friend smiles too.

“So, earth ponies, unicorns, pegasi...”

You point up to a long since bored Rainbow, who is doing lazy loops through the air.

“Alicorns...”

You then point the the smiling purple alicorn.

“... And others, in Equestria the pony nation, lead by princesses of which you are one, on Equis. Did I miss anything?”

Other than your god damn marbles? Even just a basic look at this world you accidentally found yourself in is absolutely daffy.

“Nope!” Twilight chirps happily. “It’s a very general rundown of Equestria, but I can explain more as we go. Now we can get to those other questions you had. I’ve got a few of my own, too.” A mote of purple light appears next to the beaming alicorn, and with it, the pressure on you whenever she uses magic. The mote pops like a luminescent bubble, leaving a long, floating scroll that unravels.

...All the way to the floor and out the kitchen doorway, and it’s covered in small font writing.

Jesus.

“Did you write enough, highness?” you ask with a raised brow.

Twilight looks up at you sternly. “Anon, there’s no need for friends to call me by my title. In fact, I prefer if you don’t.”

You frown at the word ‘friends’, but keep your comments to yourself.

She turns her gaze downward at the long roll of paper, laughing nervously and looking away as her tail gives a short flick. “I may have gone a little overboard with my list, though.”

Down the hall outside the kitchen, you finally hear the scroll stop rolling and snort.

“Maybe.”

She doesn't dignify you with a reply, but Rainbow’s badly muffled laughs above and the inside of the alicorn’s folded ears turning red tell you all you need to know.

You smile and lean back as much as you can in the small wooden chair, feeling content, maybe even relaxed.

The mare being poked fun at clears her throat, the extra color fading from her face. “Spike should be getting back soon. The mares he’s bringing with him are both mine and Rainbow’s friends, as well as local heroines with us. Once we get them up to speed on what happened, they’ll play a large part in getting you settled here, Anon.”

“Local heroines, you say?” You ask, interest coloring your words.

“Local? That’s it, Twi?” the pegasus circling the room in a slow glide asks with an almost offended tone to match her once again scrunched muzzle. “Don’t listen to that, Anon. We’re known all around the world!”
Rainbow touches down and rears back on her hind legs, throwing punches at a myriad of invisible aggressors. “Bam, bop, POW! Every time some big-teat wannabe shows up to pull their shenanigans. The girls and me,” she stops to wink one large eye at you, “mostly me, gotta stop them.”

“Gotta stop them..?”

“Yup.” Replies Rainbow casually, crossing her forelegs as she continues standing

You lick your dry lips, only to realise that your mouth is dry too.

“Usually, we can talk down anypony looking for trouble,” Twilight interjects with a frown directed at her fellow pony. “Sometimes, SOMETIMES! We use a bit of force to detain them. After that, we find them the appropriate help for their issues. Even then, rarely do we run into actually dangerous situation. Stop fibbing to the poor hyuman.”

Rainbow’s face turns sour at being called out. “Yeah, fine. But cool stuff still happens around us!” she insists, falling back to four legs.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. The more you learn and converse with these two, the more you think that some of your fear is unwarranted.

”CrimFa” a voice in the back of your head whispers in malicious glee, bringing you back to full alert at the memories. Fuckers…

The sound of the library door opening jars you out of your thoughts before they can drag you down. The squeaky hinge is followed by multiple sets of hooves on wood and the almost missed pit-pat of small feet.

“That must be them,” Twilight says, her already high mood lifting even further. “I’ll go get everything started. Just stay here for a second, please.”

The alicorn trots out the room and is meet with a chorus of greetings and lively conversation that lowers just enough that you loose details.

You steady your slowly fraying nerves with a breath and glance over to the colorful pegasus now hovering at your side. “Alright,” you start, catching her attention. “On a scale of one to ten, how big of a fiasco is this going to be?”

”It probably won’t be.” Rainbow says with a shrug. “You’re a cool guy, and I don’t think any of the girls would be willing to put their hooves on you even if they wanted to.”

Your lips turn downward at the remark, and you file it away for later. “So it probably won’t be a disaster. That’s something I guess.”

The mare rolls her large eyes. “You’re overthinking this, dude. You’ll be fine.”

“Right, sure…” You mutter, unconvinced.

“For real?”

You blink when the mare moves herself in front of you, keeping aloft at head height with with beginnings of a scowl on her muzzle.

“This is probably really freaky, and I… Don't think I would keep it together as well as you are, being pulled away from my life and stuff…” she admits, her frown leaving as she rubs the back of her head. “But don’t sweat it, okay? I promise you that they’ll help out, and they’ll even like you. Even if they won’t, I will,” says, both her voice and expression firm.

Your mouth drops open as you try and form a response, but your brain just shorts out, leaving you speechless. That was… a lot of sincerity.

“Rainbow? Anon?” A voice calls before you can pull your thoughts back into order.

The prismatic pony grins reaches out with a hoof to nudge you. Her grin falls a little when you step out of her reach, but it doesn't leave her face. “Comon. That’s our cue.”

Clenching your fists so hard that your nails would have drawn blood had they been uncovered, you scoop up and shoulder the pack against the wall and follow.

Each step felt like an eternity. Though each footfall from you made little if any sound even in your boots, it still sounded like cannon fire to you.

Twilight is powerful. Godlike even if her claims hold true. She’s also in possession of a heart of gold, or profoundly skilled in hiding her true thoughts. Either way, you felt that you could dodge or divert any wraith of hers and keep yourself safe while still working on your arrangement with her. She was just one variable.

Spike and Rainbow added another layer to it all, but both seemed to defer to the purple alicorn, limiting what they could do. Although each added more complexity to the situation, they are plenty manageable.

But now you’re about to face four more unknowns in an unknown area with unknown intentions. Rainbow and Twilight may say the new arrivals are there to help you, but can you be sure? All it takes is one misstep from either party to bring this whole thing to the ground in a burning heap of resentment and offence.

Now, Rainbow is rounding the corner to the main library room just ahead of you.

Out of the corner of your eye, you spy a window set into the side of the hallway. One low enough for you to run through. From there, past the rustic, fairytale-esque town of Ponyville, is a large, dense forest. Several hundred yards away, if your eyes don’t fail you.

Just one good sprint could put you into an element you're far more experienced in. One where you don’t have to play the game of niceties or be around ponies with the power to break the natural laws you thought to be absolute.

You could have rules you know by heart in there.

“And what if the forest doesn't play by the rules, either?” the voice in the back of your head purrs. “Can you really survive in there? Evading people is one thing...”

The thought stops you.

This is a different world, and you don't know the rules. Trying to run could get you killed faster for sure. You HAVE to take the route ahead.

Just a take a deep breath, and steel your nerves you sorry bitch. If you can't do that, fake it.

“Anon?” Twilight calls just beyond the threshold of the foyer.

Following your own advice, you breathe deep and step around the corner.

Seven sets of eyes amid a sea of colorful ponies stare you down.

You stare back, forcing yourself not to fidget.

Crushing tension grips the room, suffocating everyone and leaving both you and them mute, but it gives you time to observe the supposed national heros.

A pink earth pony looks up at you with wonder in her blue eyes, as if your very being boggled her mind. Other than her bright pink coat and the twitches of unspent energy running along her frame, there’s nothing outstanding about her. An itch at the back of your mind tells you there is more to her, however.

A white unicorn with a curly purple mane and tail is next in line. She stands a bit behind her fellows, seemingly more delicate than them, if her thinner limbs and softer form are anything worth judging. She doesn't seem to keep her attention on any one part of you for too long, preferring to let her focus wander.

Just ahead of her is the third new arrival, an orange-coated earth pony with the most clothing of any of them, a simple stetson hat. She lacks the soft looking exterior of the rest of her group, and is instead coated in corded muscle that stands out ever so slightly against her skin. She studies you with guarded, but not hostile emerald green eyes.

The last one throws you for a loop.

A pegasus with a butter yellow coat and a long pink mane and equally long tail who keeps her timid eyes averted. Her hung head, slight tremble, and spot in the back of the group suggests a passive nature. But when her eyes dart up to connect to yours for a split second, she stills, and then transforms.

Her head rises, her tremble stills, and her stance becomes balanced, but the most prominent change is in her pale blue orbs. What was once an anxious, nervous stare is now filled with profound melancholy, and countless unspoken questions spurred by her unreal scrutiny.

A tiny amount of pressure pushes on your phantom sense.

You look away not a second later, decidedly uncomfortable. A second later, the pressure fades.

Just as it seems the silence will stretch on, it’s broken.

“Wowie! He really IS tall! You sure you didn’t do your magic circle thing for some kinda amazon kink, Twilight?” The pink one exclaims, looking over to the only alicorn in the group.

A loud thunk! echos in the library as said alicorn’s shocked face slams into the floor, courtesy of her falling over. Not a moment later, she scrambles back to her hooves. “Why does everypony keep making that joke!?” she cries to the ceiling.

Your lips twitch.

Most of them were mute, anyway…

Like a burst bubble, all the pressure is gone.

Rainbow, Spike, and the pink one break out into shameless laughter. The orange one smirks and pulls down her hat to try and cover it while the new pegasus blushes and paws at the ground. The unicorn...

“Pinkie, really?” The white unicorn asks, clearly unamused. “Must you make such bawdy quips in front of Spike and our stallion guest? It’s hardly befitting a gentlemare.”

“Aw comon, Rarity,” the now named Pinkie replies cheerfully, reaching over to elbow the prim pony. “It was funny, admit it~!”

Rarity purses her lips, but doesn't refute the statement.

“Aww don't be such a stick in the mud, Rares.” Rainbow says, hovering low near Rarity with a grin. “Anon thinks it was funny. Right, big guy?”

Fuck you Rainbow. Don't put people on the spot like that!

You give the pegasus a half-hearted nod but say nothing, making her grin a bit wider and earning you a look of comical betrayal from Twilight.

“See? Twi’s perma-virginity is always worth poking at.”

“And now that she’s a princess…” Pinkie slides in close to Rarity and Rainbow, throwing a foreleg over with the withers of both mares and bringing them close. “She’ll probably have guys lining up to poke at her virginity, if you know what I mean,” she whispers to both deviously.

Rarity looks away, distaste coloring her face. Rainbow just snickers.

“Giiirrrrllls…” Twilight whines piteously.

You bring up a fist to hide your amused smile This is starting to sound like Nito’s old frathouse.

“If y’all are done making fun of poor Twi here,” The orange earth mare interjects with a badly hidden smirk. “Ah believe we’ve got some introductions to make,” she finishes with a southern twang and a wave of a foreleg.

Rarity slips out from under Pinkie’s hold and steps forward with her horn lit up in a light blue. Just like with Twilight, but notability fainter, you feel the magic on your phantom sense. “Of course, if we’re done acting like school-fillies, I’ll go first,” she says, smoothing down her mussed up coat with a band of light blue magic fitted to her torso. “Mister Anonymous, my name is Rarity and it’s a pleasure to meet you,” she introduces herself with a polite smile.

Pinkie vaults right over Rarity, landing in front of the startled unicorn with a thump!

“I’m Pinkie Pie!” The pink mare exclaims with a wide, boisterous grin. “If you ever need anypony for anything, come find me!”

“Names Applejack, hun’.” Says the blonde earth pony with a calm smile. “And what Pinkie said goes for us all, ya hear? Twi and Spike explained everythin’, so we all agreed to help and provide for ya. It ain’t right for a poor stallion like you to be all alone.”

Just like with Rainbow, you’re not able to formulate a response right away thanks to just how unexpected the whole situation is. What you were actually anticipating you're unsure, but it wasn’t this.

Your hand drops away from your mouth, your thoughts finally catching up. “Uhm…”

Hoofsteps interrupt you.

The butter yellow pony in the back of the group walks forward as her friends watch with surprise etched into their features. Now at the front, she looks up at you with a serene smile, heedless of the now open gaping at her back.

“Anonymous,” she starts, her voice soft in the now quiet library. “My name is Fluttershy,” she introduces simply. Her smile grows just a little as she directs her gentle, damningly knowing eyes to yours. “If you ever want to talk, I’ll always have an ear to lend.”

“Uh…”

Again, you have no idea what to say.

“Thank you, Fluttershy… Thanks all of you, really,” you start hesitantly. “This really means alot to me.” ’If it’s true.’

Fluttershy’s smile becomes beaming and her wings open just a bit, as if to envelop you in a downy embrace that stops just short.

The others tear their attention from their bold pegasus friend to mimic her delighted face.

Said pegasus blinks and returns her attention to her surroundings, swiveling her head around. “Oh…” Her ears and wings fold back as she slowly slinks back into the throng of other ponies with her cheeks flushed pink.

Odd little things, these ponies.

“I’m not sure how I’m going repay you all…” You tell them, watching as they look between each other and frown in response.

“Anon, dear,” Rarity begins in a soothing voice as she settles on her haunches. “There’s no need to worry about that. We’re not doing this because we expect to be repaid. We’re doing this because we should.”

“You should, huh?” You cross your arms and look towards the ceiling, taking in the rings of the oddly still living tree. “Why’s that?”

“Because we’re friends, duh!”

DODGE RIGHT

You obey your screaming instincts without thinking, sidestepping just fast enough that a pink blur with outstretched limbs barely misses you. So close, that you feel soft fur graze your face.

Pinkie watches the rapidly approaching wall with wide eyes, slamming into it with an “Oof!” and rebounding with a sound not unlike a rubber ball bouncing. She races back past you just as fast, bowling over her friends who didn’t even get the chance to scatter.

The overzealous pony pops out of her pile of groaning friends, seemingly unhurt. “Why’d you dodge my hug?” she asks you with a curious blink.

A hug? Really?

“I’m not one much for hugs,” you tell her dryly. “Especially if they’re as fast as a runaway train.”

The grip on your gun, which you didn’t even realize you were gripping, eases, letting you return to a neutral stance.

“How about a slow hug then?” Pinkie asks, bounding out of the now untangled pony pile as the others stand.

“Another time…” you lie through your teeth.

The benefit of the doubt these ponies will get, but the opportunity to pull a fast one on you, they will not.

The pink mare looks at you, disappointed, but she relents.

Rarity levels Pinkie with a glare and opens her mouth, a lecture probably ready. The prim mare stops, however, when a sparkling cloud of ash rushes past her and out the window. “Spikey?”

More magic? From Spike? Why didn’t you sense that?

She, rest of the mares, and you turn to the young drake, who looks imploringly at Twilight in sudden shyness when he notices all the attention on him.

The alicorn clears her throat. “I just had Spike send a letter to princes-” Twilight cuts herself off, seemingly embarrassed. “Erm, to Celestia, explaining the situation and asking for insight on a solution and some expedited citizenship papers.”

Your eyes widen without you meaning to. Citizenship papers? You can only assume that those are for you. Does Twilight intend to give you the same rights as a citizen of Equestria?

Already, you had no choice but to follow their laws, seeing as how breaking them would be counter productive to ANYTHING you wanted to accomplish. More than once you had heard of shady 2nd class citizen visas and everyone knew how illegal aliens of any nation were used without the protections offered by citizenship. You could have tried to pull the sovereign representative or diplomat trick and make a grab for benefits without being tied down, but the chances of backfire and repercussion made that a gambit at best.

“I also asked for a possible ambassador spot for Anon, since he is technically representing his entire species. I don’t see why she’d refuse.” Twilight adds on with a smile and a nod.

...

You just pinch the bridge of your nose and count to ten. Letting out your breath, you look down to the still brightly smiling Twilight.

“Twilight, you shouldn’t have…” you say only half sincerely. “I’m sure you have normal channels for this sort of thing, and I could have done it the normal way. You’re already doing so much for me.”

Her smile morphs into a stern line. “Yes, you could have done this the normal way, but I’ve already promised to take responsibility for what happened here. I ripped you away from your home, Anon, to a world you admit is unfamiliar and scary through both words and actions. Some ponies might even say that what befell you is a fate worse than…” She trails off, but the word doesn't need to be said to be understood.

“I swear, Anonymous.” she says, violet orbs blazing and voice full of authority. “I will make this as right as I can. This is my fault, and I owe you more than I think you or anypony realizes.”

A shiver runs up your spine. From her words, or the sudden charge of magic pressing down on you, you don't know.

The princess takes a deep breath and the serious setting fades along with the weight in the air, letting everyone breath easy again.

“Alright, Ah figure we’ve had enough of the serious stuff,” Applejack says, breaking the silence. “Hows about a conversation a mite more lighthearted?”

“I’d be down to chill,” Rainbow chimes in, taking flight and hovering over the group in what seems to be a norm for her. “We haven't just hung out in a while.”

“Sounds great to me!” Pinkie says with a happy hop. “I got a feeling that we’d be making a new friend in need of some cheering up today, so I made an extra special spread and saved it. Lemme run back to Sugercube Corner and get it!”

The bouncy mare takes off in long, leaping bounds, exiting the library and taking off beyond what you could see from the windows with haste.

“She could feel that someone was coming today?” You question Rarity with a raised brow, the mare having found her way to your side.

“Don’t ask, darling,” she says, placing a hoof on the top your your boot, making you resist the urge to kick it off. “It’s just a Pinkie thing. You’ll understand eventually.”

“Eldritch nonsense, got it,” you reply, understanding.

The diamond marked pony gives you a confused look, but doesn’t question your words.

“Well, it is right around noon, so Pri- Celestia, is probably going to take some time to reply since day court is in session,” Twilight outwardly muses, tapping a hoof on her chin. “I certainly don’t see any harm in taking some free time.”

Both Fluttershy and Applejack just agree with simple nods.

Twilight’s horn lights up, and in flashes of light, several of the tables and chairs in the foyer transform into a trio of large, cushy couches the same color as her coat around a wooden coffee table marked with the same starburst insignia as the one on her flank in the middle.

Worn down from the last few hours, you don’t even try to freak out over the magic taking place, and just take it as it is. You can bug Twilight about it later. Now, some much needed relaxation.

Taking the initiative, you unshoulder your pack and stroll up to one of the pieces of luxurious furniture. Then you sit just far enough from the right side that you can reach your Glock in its holster if need be. You let out a pleased groan as you sink into the soft cushions, your pack slips from your fingers, dropping a few inches and coming to a rest against the side of the couch.

“I did not even realize how tired I was…” you mumble.

The couch cushions sink again just a bit as a smiling Rainbow Dash takes the spot next to you.

The others take the other pieces of furniture, able to fit three apiece comfortably without bulk like yours there.

You just look at the ceiling as idle chatter starts around you, mind blissfully empty for a few moments.

“Equestria, huh?” You say under your breath. “Could be worse.”

Author's Note

Fuck me I still haven't cum to my senses and quit.

Things happened, point out mistakes I'm usually good about fixing that promptly.

Also don;t expect this to update for like 2-ish weeks or something. Bump in the Night is next.