The walk through the slowly awakening hamlet of Ponyville is surprisingly calming. Perhaps it’s the nostalgic charm of the rustic town, or it could be as simple as being outside in the fresh, dawn air. Either way, you take the time to savor the simple pleasure. With a deep breath, you smile and admire the glimmering morning dew coating the patches of grass between the clean and whole houses.

A few other ponies are out and about. All of them looked your way, but none drew close enough for you to make out details beyond color.

’Honestly, I’m kinda glad no one is coming up to us,’ you silently think as you watch a yellow mare across the dirt road trot briskly to an unknown destination. ‘The last thing I want is to run into a pony less reasonable than the girls I’ve already met.’ A quick glance confirms that your gun is still on your side, just in case.

You turn your attention to the smiling purple princess at your side, watching her trot a few times for each one of your own strides.

She moves just like a real pony, just with her motions scaled down to fit an alien form. Her mane and tail bounce slightly with each step and her wings twitch like they want to flap and speed her along. The flesh of her belly and flanks also ripple slightly with each step, providing a subtle ‘realness’ that previously seemed absent. The longer your look, the more you realize that the comparison to an earth equine is superficial at best.

”Anon?”

Shit, you were staring.

“Erm. I’m sorry about the staring, Twilight,” you apologize, turning away from her inquisitive face as you do so. “Your kind…” you hesitate, “faintly resemble animals back home, so I guess I got lost in thought thinking about it,” you tell her, deciding to go with the truth.

”Really?” she asks with a far more curious than perturbed expression.

’This might be a common theme with her.’

You nod. “Indeed. We even have the same species name for them; ponies. Though, most ponies were selectively bred from horses, a larger equine.”

Twilight’s eyes sparkle with the new information. After a second, she slows her pace and seems to replay what you just told her. “Whorses?”

You raise an eyebrow. “I heard you put a W on that.”

She nods, seeming unsure. “I did. Anon, what does that word mean?”

A slow sinking feeling finds its way to the pit of your stomach. “It’s just the name of a species of equine,” you answer carefully. “I’m really not liking the direction this conversation took…”

”It’s nothing you did, honest!” Twilight hastily says, relieving some of the sinking feeling. “I think we just ran into a word with differing meanings. Whorse is a grave insult here in Equestria that implies the worst sort of sexual promiscuity. I’ve only ever heard it in genuine arguments.”

You gulp as the full realization of what just happened hits you. Even your words, as innocent as they are, could damn you before you even realized it.

Reading the library for some sort of cultural guide just jumped up in priority.

“Well, uh…” You scratch the back of your head, unsure of how to proceed.

”Like I said, Anon. That wasn't your fault,” Twilight says. “It was just a cultural misunderstanding. It’s probably going to happen again, unfortunately.”

You remain silent.

Her face melts back into its default smile as what you assume to be town hall comes into view. “Here we are!”
The large circular building must be the largest in Ponyville, the building and the land around it taking up a large part of the south-eastern part of the town.

You check the sun to confirm your coordinate estimation is right, but recall the… event yesterday and throw out the estimation. Your internal compass will have to do from now on.

As is polite, you lengthen your stride to reach the front door first so you can open it for your companion.

Twilight quickly clambers up the wooden steps that you took two at a time, passing you. She then opens the door with her magic, waiting for you to cross first with a wide smile.

You return the smile with a bit of confusion, but just chalk it up to another cultural thing as you duck slightly to clear the doorway.

The inside of the hall is exactly what you expected. A rustic waiting room with chairs to sit in and what looks like old magazines scattered around on end tables. Everything is made of wood and shines with the aged clear-coat you’d find on old, but loved furniture. On the walls are several detailed portraits of what you guess are past mayors in decorated gold frames. In the back is a door labeled “Mayor” behind a bored looking caramel-colored pony reading something on her desk, not paying you or Twilight any attention.

The sound of the front door closing seems to rouse the mare. “Welcome to town hall,” she starts in an obviously rehearsed and oddly deep voice. “How can I help ...you?”

The pony looks up from what she’s reading, showing a more squared muzzle and wider shoulders than Twilight or any of her friends.

Hold on… The voice, the stocker appearance… Is this a stallion? You keep silent, hoping to find out.

But the probable stallion just gapes at you, making the urge to fidget unbearable.

Twilight clears her throat. “Erm, Toffee? We’re here to see the mayor? We had an appointment.”

You look down, noticing a nametag on the desk saying “Mr Toffee - Aide” on it. Mister. So this guy is a stallion, The first one you’ve seen.

Toffee shakes his head and cuts off his stare. “Gracious! How rude of me!” he exclaims, his ears pinned back. “I’m so sorry princess and…and...”

“Anonymous,” you supply, trying to put on a reassuring smile as you talk. “And it’s fine. I doubt this will be the last time I get funny looks.”

Your words don’t appear to help as the stallion just looks more devastated by his own mistake.

Luckily Twilight comes to the rescue. “Is the mayor ready to see us?” she asks, swiftly changing the subject. “I’m sure the mayor will be busy as a bee here soon and we’re already a bit late,” she says with a short ruffle of her wings.

Toffee takes a dramatic breath and calms himself. “Yes, Princess. The mayor actually requested to speak with you privately first, if that’s okay,” he says, sending you a sidelong glance.

That makes you more nervous than it should.

“I’ll be fine out here for a few minutes,” you tell both ponies halfheartedly. “I don’t imagine that an extra talk could take too long.”

Twilight looks back to you with a worried expression. “Are you sure? I would have no problem letting you in with us.”

“I’ll be fine,” you reassure.

The princess doesn't seem terribly convinced but doesn't pursue the subject. “Okay. I’ll be back shortly,” she says as she trots to the door behind Toffee’s desk.

You shrug off your pack and settle in the too-small chair closest to the front desk as the door clicks shut, muffled female voices following after. The large room falls into an uneasy silence, broken only by the ticking of a wall clock.

Toffee tries to go back to what he was reading behind his desk, but the stallion’s eyes keep slowly wandering back to you before he catches himself. His large orbs are filled with countless questions just barely being held back. You just twiddle your thumbs and try to will away your rising discomfort.

A full, maddening minute passes.

Toffee suddenly clears his throat, nearly making you jump. “Sooooo, visiting from far away? I don't think I’ve ever met a…” He pauses, waiting for you to finish.

“A human,” you provide. “And far away? Yeah, that’s a good way to say it,” you say as you straighten up on your chair then ruefully remark; “It was an unexpected trip though, and I have no idea how I’m getting home.”

The stallion seems to pick up on the unspoken desire to drop the subject. “Well hun, I think you’ll like Ponyville,” he says with a smile. “We’re not the biggest, the best, the richest, or anything really. But you’ll have no shortage of new friends. In fact, how about you and I become friends?”

You look up at the smiling pony with suspicion, idly filing away the ‘hun’ comment.

’He went from looking like one fright away from a scream to suddenly wanting to be friends. Again, these little ponies confuse the shit out of me.’

“Sure,” you begin, cornered by the request. “I’d enjoy that.”

Toffee beams. “Great! Us guys gotta stick together, after all. Ugh, I think there are all of thirty stallions in town.”

You raise an eyebrow at the interesting tidbit of info, but mentally jot it down without comment.

He reaches over his desk with a hoof extended and an expectant look on his face.

’He wants a handshake er, a hoofshake I guess?’

Your first thought is to reject the gesture, but…

’I have no idea how poorly that would reflect on me. That could be a slap in the face to him for all I know.’

With great reluctance, you reach out and lightly take hold of the outstretched limb, giving it a gentle shake and making Toffee giggle before quickly pulling away.

’His fur is impossibly soft,’ you absently think.

”I know we both already know each other’s names, but it wouldn't be a proper friendship without a proper introduction, sooooo. My name is Toffee, and I’m the mayor’s aide,” he says, beaming joyfully.

“Anonymous, or Anon for short, and I’m unemployed,” you reply lightly.

Toffee rolls his eyes playfully and flicks an ear. “Hun, the whole job thing is overrated anyway.”

“I hear that.”

Before your latest companion can continue, the door the mayor’s office opens and Twilight, followed by another, older looking mare with half-moon spectacles exit.

”Thank you for entertaining my request, Princess,” the older pony thanks Twilight before she turns to you, a calm expression on her face. “Hello, Anonymous. I’m Mayor Mare. I understand you’ll be staying in Ponyville as a new citizen at Princess Celestia’s behest.”

You nod an affirmative. “That I am, ma’am. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me.”

“There’s no need for the ‘ma’am’ my dear. Just mayor works if you insist on being formal,” the mayor waves you off, but her smile grows just a bit. “I’ve reviewed all the paperwork, and now all we need is a photo. Toffee, can you get the camera please?”

The stallion seems surprised and then a bit sour at the request, but nonetheless stands briskly and trots off with a ”Right away mayor!”

Twilight and the mayor share a look, both minutely shaking their heads before returning their attention back to you.
”He might be a moment,” Mayor Mare says, starting the conversation back up. “Mister Anonymous, as a citizen, you gain the rights to vote, own land, hold office, and are both bound and protected by the laws of Equestria. That’s a very abridged version of your rights, but Princess Twilight said you were interested in some self-study.”

You note how Twilight didn’t ask the mayor to drop her title.

”So I thought I would leave it to you so you may learn everything at your own pace,” Mayor Mare says with a smile.
You push your thoughts out and return the smile. “Thank you, mayor. Really.”

SLAM!

You stand and whirl around to the sound in a single movement, making both Twilight and the mayor jump at the sudden action.

Annnnd you got jumpy for nothing, as the sound was just Rainbow Dash being too forceful with the front door.
The colorful mare zips past your little group to hover over Toffee’s desk, scanning it for something with growing frustration on her face. Finally, she groans and turns around, locking eyes with the mayor

”Where the hay are the weather schedules for this week?” The pegasus all but demands. “They weren’t in my office inbox and my team is already late for today.”

”I’m not sure, Rainbow,” the older mare replies, taking the rude non-greeting in stride. “The postmare already made her round here this morning, so Cloudsdale must be sending them late.”

Rainbow groans again. “Perfect, now I have to make one. Yay paperwork…”

”They’re under my desk!”

Everyone turns to the voice, finding Toffee trudging back in with an old camera on a tripod tucked under one foreleg. He sets the camera down with a huff and turns to Rainbow. “The mailmare was running late, so she left them here to be sent to you later.”

Rainbow rolls her eyes a mutters something derogatory about crossed eyes under her breath, reaching under the desk as she does so. Her hooves return with a stack of papers. After glancing over the papers, she sends Toffee a smile. “Thanks hot-stuff.”

For a reason you're not sure of, the stallion purses his lips at the flirt. “You’re welcome. Now if you don't mind, we were in the middle of finalizing Anon’s citizenship,” he snips

The pegasus looks up from the schedules, finally noticing you and Twilight, making a grin break out into her face. “Heya Anon, Twi. Whatcha gals going here?”

You smile a little when Toffee facepalms (facehoofs?) behind her.

“Just getting my papers finished, Rainbow. All I need is a picture.”

”What are ya doing after that?”

You send a glance over to Twilight. ”We’re not on any set schedule after this,” the purple princess helpfully interjects. With a nod, you turn back to Rainbow. “Well, I did promise Rarity a visit if I have time, so I guess that’s next. After that, we’ll see.”

”Boooooring!” the flying pony exclaims distastefully. “Talking about clothes over tea is not my idea of a good time.

“Clothes and tea, huh?” you muse aloud. “It does sound a bit dull, but I wouldn't mind doing something calm for once.”

Rainbow’s face falls into a thoughtful frown. “Well... If you’re gonna do that, I guess I should pass the schedules out first, then I’ll join after,” the pegasus grumbles, going back on her earlier disagreement.

You step out of the town hall with Twilight in tow, absently flipping the little card in your hand as you do so.
It’s just a simple plastic ID card like one would expect. It has your name, your address (the library currently), your photo, and a unique ID code.The little spot for a cutie mark picture is marked “N/A” and other details like your date of birth and blood type were omitted since they didn’t match the Equestrian standard. They did get your weight and height, though. Curiously, Equestria uses the metric system. If what the mayor said is true, the little thing is similar to a social security card back home and should be stashed somewhere safe when not in use.

But what interested you the most was the machine that made the card.

The ID printer was similar to ones you’ve seen in old DMV offices and was decidedly out of place in Ponyville.
Unfortunately, you didn't get the chance to ask anything before the mayor hoofed you the card and was promptly spirited away to a meeting with a wealthy looking stallion.

You lace your fingers over your head in a stretch and groan contently when your shoulders and back loudly go Pop pop pop!

”Eug…” Twilight’s fur stands on end and her back arches at the sound. She sort-of looks like a cat. “Are you alright? That didn’t sound healthy.”

“I’m fine,” you smile just a bit, hiding your mirth at her reaction. “Can ponies not pop their joints?”

”Not like that,” she admits. “What did you do?”

“I just stretched until gas caught in the fluid of my joints bubbled, making the sound. It sounds nasty, but feels great,” you explain. “That’s only a half-recalled explanation, though. So, Rarity’s?”

”This way!”

You pocket your ID card and follow the westward trotting princess once again, feeling lighter than you had been earlier.

’Much of what I feared initially has not come to pass,’ you think, looking up and watching a pair of lavender colored pegasi gracefully glide by overhead. ‘This place is crazy as shit, yet I’m still in one piece and have one of the highest authorities around on my side now. Is it luck? How much longer is that luck going to last?’ You look back down and grimace a moment later. ‘Not long, apparently.’

The once deserted morning streets are slowly becoming more crowded with hoof-traffic as the sun climbs higher in the sky. Between several houses is a road intersecting the most densely packed street. Market stalls are manned, ponies of all colors wander to-and-fro between them, the dull roar of conversation fills your ears, and multiple pinpricks of pressure touch your yet-to-be-named 6th sense.

A crowd. The last thing you wanted.

”Here is the main market street,” your purple guide says. “You can get just about everything here. Food, sundries, magic supplies, you name it. We’ll cut through here to get to the Carousel Boutique.” she exclaims with a wide smile. Her smile quickly falls a second later. “Anon? Are you alright?” Twilight asks, stepping a bit closer.

“H-heh. I’m fine, Twilight,” you reply.

’Fuck. Is my voice wavering?’

You look down at your suddenly sweaty, shaking palms and take a breath, calming the tremors running up and down your body. “Just fine…”

”Anon, we can go the long way around if you’re feeling anxious,” Twilight quietly assures you. “I don't want you doing anything you feel you're not ready for. I know that a quiet evening in the library with friends and the morning market are two totally different things. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable here…”

She tenderly places a hoof on your thigh in what you assume is comfort, but you have to force back the urge to slap the limb away.

You take a slow, deep breath and let the out air out of your nose in a low hiss. “It’s best if we just do it now, Twilight. I wasn’t a fan of large groups back home and this is definitely worse, but I’ll have to do it eventually,” you grumble.

Sometimes, being an adult sucks.

”Alright…” Twilight replies with an unhappy frown, “but I want you to let me know if you want to leave.”

You just cross your arms and reluctantly nod.

At your non-verbal reply, the alicorn slowly leads you closer to the market street.

Every step is a bit more dread welling up inside you, but the last of bit time before you face the crowd is used well.
Your eyes dart between the alleyways lining the large street, holes in the crowd, and the occasional low overhang or stacked objects you could climb up to the rooftops with.

’Most of the buildings are low enough that I could jump and drag myself up if I wasn’t in full gear,’ you think to yourself. ‘I need to find a secure place to store my junk. A magic proof place if such a thing exists.’

”Nine bits for one bunch of puny bananas?! That's highway robbery!”

Your eyes gravitate to the source of the sound.

The alleyway comes to an end right next to a fruit stand, where a disgruntled green unicorn stands with a beige coated, blue-and-pink maned earth pony. Behind the stand itself is an impatient looking mare in an apron.

The Earth pony rolls her eyes. “Lyra, it’s not that big of a deal,” she says before turning to the vender. “Five bits.”

The fruit vender face scrunches up like she just did a full-mouth bite into a lemon. “Five bits? Are you joking? I’ll give you eight.”

”You’ve got to be the one joking here,” Lyra replies, her own muzzle scrunched up. “Make it six.” She turns her eyes away from the fruit mare for a second, glancing at you before returning her gaze forward.

An instant later, Lyra whips her shocked face towards you so fast it’s a wonder she didn't break her neck. The still unnamed earth pony does the same thing, giving you a sidelong look that quickly transforms into surprise. The eerily human expressions and sudden attention would have made you gulp if your throat didn't just constrict itself.

”Hey, you two going to buy something or are going to keep making faces at meeeeee…” the mare running the stall pokes her head out and locks onto you as well, her jaw slowly dropping as she trails off.

Twilight stops and frowns at all three. You can see a verbal lashing already warming up in her mouth.

“Good morning,” you quickly greet past the lump in your throat, stopping Twilight from potentially making a scene.
Strangely, all three of the mares visibly relax at the sound of your voice but don’t drop their looks.

“Erm, morning?” Lyra greets back with an awkward smile.

Her earth pony companion just stares until Lyra’s elbow jabs her side. “Ow, Lyra!”

”It’s rude to stare, Bonbon.”

”It’s a cunt move to put your elbow into my lung.”

”I wouldn’t need to be a cunt of you weren’t one in the first place!”

”Goddess, you’re the worst.”

”Suck my clit.”

...

Your brows furrow together. What the actual fuck did you just stumble into? You glance down at Twilight, but the flat expression she's wearing tells you all you need to know.

An immature chuckle almost bubbles out of you as the pair of mares trade dirty insults.

”-like the huge dyke that you are.”

”That’s hilarious coming from you. Remember band camp?”

”Buck off. That doesn't count.”

Your hand rises to your mouth to cover your smile and your apprehension fades the more the mares talk.
It’s like the arguments you and Nito used to have.

”Are you two going to buy something or are you going to curse up a storm in front of my stand, a princess, and a... stallion?” The now scowling fruit vender cuts in, stopping Lyra and Bonbon. “You’re going to scare away real customers.” The vender mare turns to Twilight and you with an apologetic smile. “Your Majesty, sir, I’m sorry about these two nitwits. They do this every time they come to shop here.”

”Not a nitwit…” Lyra grumbles under her breath.

Twilight waves away the fruit vendor's apology with a smile and starts walking again, prompting you and the pair of mares follow.

With a sigh, you try to focus on the conversation over the stares and the quieting crowd.

As you walk, Twilight turns to the two extra mares, her face decidedly neutral. “Lyra? Bonbon? Do you two have to argue over everything? I had a father a few days ago come to me saying you were letting an argument turn foul in the park near some foals.”

Your focus on the conversation doubles in an instant. Is foul language worthy of punishment here? Are other restrictions on what you can say? The thought makes you bite your lip. Minding your words is one thing, but if that goes deeper into restricting certain types of speech...

Luckily, your worry is unfounded with Twilight’s next words; “There’s no real punishment for doing it, but can you please not? Some ponies are bypassing the guards and mayor directly to me. I don’t mind helping ponies, but…” She leans in close and lowers her voice, “inane complaints about cursing cut into time I could be using elsewhere.”

Lyra gives a mock salute while Bonbon just rolls her eyes. “Gotcha, bosslady. No staining virgin ears,” Lyra says with a grin and a wink. “So, who's your friend?”

And all the attention is back on you.

You clear your throat and try to wet your dry mouth. “My name is Anonymous, or Anon for short. I’m a friend of Princess Twilight, who is graciously letting me stay with her during my visit,” you say, trying to keep your intro as bland and inoffensive as possible. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” you finish with a smile.

Didn’t trip over your words or feet. Nailed it. Probably.

Lyra’s smile grows even larger. “As you probably heard, the sexy mint mare before you is named Lyra. The grump’s name is Bonbon.”

Bonbon scowls. “Now listen here you little shi-”

The princess at your side clears her throat loudly, making Bonbon’s words halt.

Again, you crack the smallest of smiles at the antics. One could almost think that these little equines aren’t impossible reality warpers. The talking lapses into a silence that rapidly turns uncomfortable.

’Why did they have to stop talking? Keep going. Please distract me.’

The stares and hushed whispers pull at your attention, stretching it out so far that focusing on any one thing is impossible. The flares of unsettling pressure around you still fire off in startling contrast to your other senses, like harsh pokes to your head from an invisible hand.

Sound begins to fade, replaced with an incessant ring in your ears and an undertone of your own heartbeat. The sea of little aliens watching, judging, thinking, all in ways you can't predict.

’Just one foot in front of the other, man. Keep walking. It’ll get better.’

Each stride or your legs lasts an eon, and the road never seems to shorten.

’I should have listened to Twilight and bitched out.’

Lyra and Bonbon start talking again, but their voices are muffled by the din in your own ears.

Walk, walk, walk, just move forward.

Lyra and Bonbon bid a farewell as they break off, heading down a side street, not that you notice much.

Finally, what you can only assume to be the boutique comes into view. The building is both tall and colorful, matching what you know of Rarity well. But most importantly of all, the boutique is outside of the crowded street.

Like with town hall, Twilight pulls ahead to knock on the door. Nary a moment later, the doorknob glows blue and the door swings in, revealing a smiling Rarity.

”Twilight! Anonymous!” Rarity exclaims over the subsiding ring in your head.

The unicorn steps forward and Twilight meets her halfway, both mares meeting in a brief but affectionate nuzzle. Rarity steps back and looks at you searchingly, not dropping her delighted expression. Her face slowly falls after a moment. “Anonymous? You’re pale and shaking. Are you feeling alright?”

’What?’

“What?”

You blink and look down at your hands, just now noticing the violent tremors in them. The rest of your body is similarly shaking.

’Should have gone the long way…’

“Oh. I guess I am shaking…” You murmur.

”Please dear, come inside and sit down,” the white mare urges. “Just take a moment to relax.”

“That’s alright, Rarity,” you wave her off with a weak smile. “The crowded market threw me off a little, that’s all. I’ll get used to it.”

She shakes her head, making her violet curls bounce. “I would not call that ‘thrown off a little’, dear. I will not claim to be a xenobiology expert, but that looked distinctly like a building panic attack.”

You look away at the floor.

Rarity turns her attention to Twilight. “What I’m wondering is who let it happen in the first place,” she says, her expression flat.

The Princess’s eyes go wide and she desperately looks up at you.

“I’m the one who wanted to do it, Rarity. Twilight tried to talk me out of it. It’s best to get it over with and get used to it now since I have no idea how long I’ll be here in Equestria,” you explain with a shrug.

The unicorn doesn't seem happy if her furrowed brows and pursed lips are anything to go by. “Very well, I suppose it’s not my place to protest. I just ask that you don’t push yourself, darling. I cannot even fathom how huge a change this must be for you.” She looks up at you with large, emotional eyes. “Please promise me you won’t.”

’Please don’t look at me with the watery eyes.’

Try as you might, you can’t simply dismiss the soulful plead like you wanted. Not with the look she’s giving you.

You sigh. “I promise.”

Rarity does a 180 in the blink of an eye. “Wonderful!” she replies with a beaming smile. “Do come in. I’ve so looked forward to your visit. Has our local princess tried to pick your brain yet?”

“Not yet. I haven’t seen the room-length scroll yet this morning,” you say, words coming easier now that you’re indoors. “Something tells me it’s a matter of time though,” you finish, taking a look around.

The boutique is huge on the inside and made to impress. Various pony mannequins dressed in finery fit for nobles run along the walls under lights. Some even incorporate jewels of ludicrous size. The high ceiling gives a very roomy feeling, and the small runway in the center of the room further legitimizes the boutique feeling.

Rarity must be yet another powerful or influential mare.

”I’m not that bad…” Twilight grumbles as she shuts the door behind you and herself. “You act like you’re not curious.”

”Oh, I am. But a gentlemare knows there is a time and place for such inquiries,” Rarity says with a jokingly haughty sniff. “Like now.”

Both mares share a laugh as Rarity leads the group down a hallway off the main room and into a sunny sitting room with a tea set already on the table. Both the mares hop into a seat with ease, while you have to tuck your knees under the table and take off your pack again to sit across from Rarity and to Twilight’s left.

”So, Anonymous,” Rarity begins as she quickly serves three cups of tea with her magic. “How are you liking Equestria so far? I know you’ve only been here for a day, but I certainly hope the time has been tolerable at least.”

“It’s been… different,” you reply absently, thinking over the last turbulent 24 hours. “Not bad, but not what I expected.” You stare at the slowly rising steam of your teacup as you think. “This isn't the line of questioning I expected. Since you're a fashionista, is kind of expected you to open with…”

”A discussion on your clothes?” She finishes with a smile and a light shake of her head. “I get that more often than you think. Fashion may be my calling in life, but it’s not the only topic I enjoy discussing.”

You nod. Makes perfect sense.

”Though, I would certainly be interested in the challenge making you a wardrobe would entail,” she tacks on. “I’m glad your time here isn’t an awful experience for you,” Rarity continues. “Nopony is sure how long you’ll be staying with us, but I can only hope that you’ll grow to enjoy it.”

You give the mare a bittersweet smile. “There are things and people awaiting me back home. Not much, but enough that I miss them. If I end up liking it here, won’t that make it that much harder to leave?” You ask, trying to gauge her with her response.

Rarity “Hmm’s” into an otherwise silent sip of her tea. “Maybe, but there is no place like home. I think you’ll find your way there. Whether your time here is long enough for a grand tale, or short enough to just be a footnote in your life, we’ll remember you as a friend either way, and I hope you think the same of us,” she finishes with a light smile.

Twilight grins and adds her own “Mm-Hm!”

You can’t help but blink at the strangely genuine comment. It’s so unexpected that a pocket of warmth blooms in your chest. “Erm, thank you both. I mean it,” you say, looking away to hide your awkward smile.

Both of the mare’s smiles grow.

The conversation takes a lighter turn. Rarity leads for most of it between sips of her tea, talking dramatically of fickle customers in Canterlot, the capital. Whenever a lull opens up, Twilight speaks, telling of just how she too knows the exasperation of dealing with Canterlot in the wake of her new royal duties. It leaves you with some time to listen and, dare you say it? Relax just a bit.

”He may have been rather rude in the wording of his order, but watching his eyes light up when he came to pick it up simply made my day,” Rarity finishes a tale with a smile.

Twilight rolls her eyes, but her lips are upturned as well. “Related to Caramel by any chance?”

Both the mares share a short laugh before Twilight turns to you. “So Anon, what did you do earth? We’ve been sitting here talking about ourselves,” her smile turns sheepish, “...without giving you any time to talk.”

You set down your now empty teacup before you answer. “It’s fine, Twilight. I’m content to listen most times,” you tell her, dismissing her concern. “As for what I did on earth...” You stop to think it over.

’Some things I wish didn’t have to.’

You close your eyes and scowl, banishing the stray thought. “Well, I was in my second year of university still trying to figure out a direction in my life. A decent scholarship and a government program got me in with a near full-ride. I never really got to pick a major before some… Unforeseen events took place.” Your scowl deepens. “That was a few years ago and I’ve sort-of been a drifter ever since.”

’’Drifter’ is the understatement of the year.’

You open your eyes back up to surprised expressions from Rarity and Twilight, as if they didn't expect such an answer. Both jump when you look at them and quickly share a glance.

”Anonymous, we’re terribly sorry if that drudged up unpleasant memories,” Rarity apologizes with a sullen frown. “We didn’t know…”

“I don’t mind, really,” you say with a sigh. “It was a defining time in my life, and I can’t really change it. Would you go back and change something that shaped you if it wasn’t exactly a good time?”

”I think I can answer for both Rarity and I,“ Twilight starts, looking between her own wings and her alabaster friend with a pondering expression. “We’ve had our own share of adventures over the last year or two that we didn't enjoy, but wouldn't go back and change.” The Princess looks up at you, the same fire in her eyes from the previous night. “After all, we’re defined by our history and experiences.” The intense look on Twilight fades, now replaced with a tilt of her head. “Wait… Anon, when you hit that rough patch, did you not have a mare to…” she stops short and looks away, readjusting her resting wings in a gesture you can't place.

You raise an eyebrow. “A mare to..?”

CAUTION LEFT

The words die on your tongue as your instincts flare, making your head snap left right in time for Rainbow Dash smack face-first into the window with a “Whump!”

The mares and yourself all flinch, but for different reasons.

Twilight because she’s probably worried about her friend being injured.

You because of your general aversion to loud noises. The urge to jump out of your seat was also suppressed.

And Rarity…

The window is gently opened with Rarity’s light blue magic, making Rainbow comically squeak across the glass. The pegasus slides down, catching the windowsill with her forelegs as she blinks the stars from her vision.

”Rainbow,” Rarity says with deceptive gentleness, “why do you feel the need to test the strength of my windows so often?”

The pegasus mare sniffs and rubs her red snout. “I dunno. Why don't you leave your windows open?”

”I can think of a few reasons…” Rarity remarks dryly. “Like keeping pesky pegasi out.”

Rainbow puffs up at the jab. Literally. The fur on her chest puffs out and her wings rise off her sides as of to flap. “Oh yeah?”

”Indeed,” the unicorn confirms. “Please use the door like everypony else.”

Pressure. More than Rarity has been producing.

The window starts to close, but Rainbow vanishes without even a blur. An instant later, the room reverberates with a dull ‘boom’ as the pegasus materializes next to Rarity, who lets out a startled squeak as she's buffeted by the displaced air.

”Rainbow, please! Must you?” Rarity cries with scowl. The white unicorn conjures a small crude mirror in her magic and looks at her disheveled mane with slumped withers.

Rainbow just snorts and badly muffles her laughs behind her hooves before sticking her tongue out at her friend.
Too bad she never saw the magic band form around her extended tongue.

“Ach! Wawity!” Rainbow flails, trying to pull away with little success. The smirking unicorn lets her trapped friend growl and loudly slur a promise of retribution before finally letting go.

Inwardly you mull over the magic display. Rarity can apparently make reflective surfaces and has enough control to grasp delicate things without damaging them. And Rainbow’s speed had to be magic assisted. The sudden pressure flare tipped you off to that much. Plus, there’s no way she can move faster than an eye can track and come to a total stop an instant later otherwise. Idly, you wonder why she didn’t stop before hitting the window.

Twilight’s lecture on magick elements and talents comes back to mind. Odd stuff, magic.

Rainbow settles into the seat to your left between you and Rarity with a grumble.

Twilight rolls her eyes at the display, but her smile tells you all you need to know about the dynamic. “Nice to see you too, Rainbow. I didn't think you’d actually want to show up.”

”Pffft, and miss the chance to hangout with an alien?” the pegasus says like the choice is obvious. “When am I going to get this chance again?”

“Tomorrow, probably. And sometime after that,” you tell her with an amused smile. “I get the feeling that precise dimensional travel isn’t something done in a day, even with magic.” You glance over to Twilight, who nods.

Even if you already knew about your indefinite stay, the confirmation only sours your mood a bit.

”Great! Then we have more time to hang out!” Rainbow exclaims with a grin. An instant later, her words catch up with her. “Er, I mean, it’s not great that you’re stuck, but, well…” she fumbles, rubbing the back of her head with a hoof.

“I get what you’re trying to say,” you interrupt as kindly as you can, “and the thought is appreciated. I won’t turn down more friends,” you tell her with a smile.

’Especially powerful and important ones. I may not like personal debts, but rejecting good connections helps no one.’

Rainbow’s eyes light up. “Awesome! We’ll have a blast, I promise!”

“I’m certain.”

Again, the conversation drifts back to more lighthearted topics, with Rainbow taking charge and regaling the whole group (but mostly you) on her athletic triumphs. Neither Rarity or Twilight seem overly impressed, but the petite pegasus’s tales certainly keep your attention. Attention she gladly preens under.

“A Rainboom?” you question skeptically.

”Yes!” Rainbow Dash says with a wide grin. “The Sonic Rainboom. The greatest flying technique I’ve got, and I’ve got a lot of em. It’s my magna… Mago… Magoim…”

”Magnum Opus,” Twilight helpfully supplies.

”Yeah, that!”

You level the colorful mare with a narrow-eyed look, but her excitement doesn't dwindle. “So if I’ve got this right, you fly so fast and trail so much magic that physics just sorta dips and says “nah man”, letting you make an explosion of rainbow light and move even faster?” you question, losing your practiced formal tone in the face of yet another magic absurdity.

“Yup!”

You’re silent for just a moment, but in that time Rainbow finally starts to wilt, her ears flicking and her ecstatic grin slowly falling.

She seems to be waiting for a positive answer.

“Alright, that does sound really cool,” you admit with a small smile, making the pegasus athlete nearly burst at the seams with joy.

’I’ll still need to see a real “Rainboom” to totally believe it, however. I don’t care that magic is common here’

”The coolest!” She exclaims, eyes sparkling and wings twitching like she wants to fly. “After me and Applejack do our bravest pony competition in a few days, I’ll have the whole day off. We can head out into the woods together and I can show you my stuff!”

Rarity’s eyes bug out and she nearly chokes on some inhaled tea while Twilight goes beat red in an instant.

“R-rainbow! Would you listen to what you're implying!? Right in front of a male, no less!” the Princess forces out.

The mare in question leans back away from the irate alicorn. “What? What did I say? I don’t get it.”

Hell no.

“So what’s this ‘bravest pony’ competition you were talking about?” You swiftly ask, changing the topic before your own cheeks could turn red.

’That’s some imagery I didn’t need...’

Rainbow blinks at the abrupt subject swap, but answers anyway. “I bet Applejack I was braver than her, she said she was the braver pony, so we turned it into a competition with a buncha events. We gotta wait for one of the beekeepers to get back to us for the bee suit challenge.”

“Bees?” you ask with a raised eyebrow. “Other challenges I understand, but bees? Is that safe? Last I recall, bees are temperamental and their stings are more than a little painful.”
Rainbow just smirks. “It’s all good. I’m no wuss so a little pain is fine. Besides, the point is to not freakout and get stung anyway.”

”You have bees on Earth, Anon?” Twilight chimes in with interest. “Are they the same as Equestrian bees? Do they make honey? Are there any other similarities you’ve noticed?”

You nod. “Yes, yes, and a surprising number, actually. Much of the flora and fauna I’ve noticed so far is either the same or mimics Earth’s so well that distinguishing with just a glance is impossible. A number of more mundane things match as well. I’d even go as far as to say that Equis and Earth are close parallels...Well, relatively speaking,” you say, waving your hand in a ‘so-so’ motion. “Just interchange ponies and humans, and the differences would be negligible sans the use of magic and culture. Once I’ve seen a bit more, I might be able to draft up a list for you.”

The princess’s delight at the new info is plain on her face, making Rarity giggle and Rainbow groan past a tea cookie. “Come on, Twi. Don’t make Anon do nerd stuff. He doesn't deserve that,” she says, throwing crumbs on the table.

”Rainbow dear pleeeease chew your food!”

The pegasus lets out an unladylike grunt and swallows the dry confection.

”It’s not nerd stuff!” Twilight whines with a stomp of her hoof, making her chair shake. “This is legitimate scientific discussion and cultural exchange! A whole new world with their own discoveries and sciences that may have developed totally different to that of Equestria’s. Who is to say that something common on one world was missed by the other? We’ve got a smart stallio-er, man like Anon here to give up a glimpse of it all. How can you not be excited?! I’ve got so many empty notebooks and scrolls that need filled!” She nearly yells, vibrating in her seat all the while.

You lean back and give Rarity a pleading look. “Does this happen er, often?”

”Every so often, yes.” she casually answers, pouring herself more tea.

“Well shit…” you mumble, but Rainbow apparently hears if her sudden giggles are anything to go by.

”Save it for another time. Let’s go outside and do something,” the prismatic mare says. In a flash, her hooves are on your collar.

You blank out.

The flying mare’s eyes go wide and she moves away, but the backhanded fist still clips her muzzle with a single knuckle, sending her spiraling end over end to the floor where she lands with a loud THUD!.

”RAINBOW!” “RAINBOW!”

Twilight and Rarity are up in an instant and by the fallen mare’s side, who groans pitifully.

You blink and look at the small spot of crimson on your hand, feeling all your insides clench.

One day. One day and you’ve fucked up.

”A-Anon! Why did you do-” Rarity’s shaking voice is cut off when Rainbow explodes from her spot on the floor and into the air.

Here it comes. You won’t even be able to draw your gun in time.

”WHAT IN TARTARUS-” the pegasus starts so loud that the windows rattle, “WAS THAT FOR!?” she roars just out of reach of your arms with a withering glare focused dead on you.

Her words and visage said only one thing.

Talk. And talk now.

“Look, that was... I didn’t...” you grasp for words, your mind going blank as your eyes lock onto the bleeding split on Rainbow’s lip.

You did that. You attacked a national hero and celebrity.

’Game over. There goes the luck I thought about earlier, right out the fucking window.’

Twilight and Rarity just watch helplessly

”You didn’t what, huh?!” she demands, wincing when her scowl pulls at the wound. “What’s your problem?! I try to be nice and go out of my way to be your friend and this is what you do!?”

“I didn’t mean to, it just sort of happened! I mean it!”

She narrows her eyes and stares at you. “Oh, right. You regret it now so the story is “it just sorta happened” hmm?! Did you expect me to just take that and say “well okay”? If you didn’t want me around then SAY SOMETHING YOU DICK!”

Words can't even exit your mouth anymore. All you can do is clench your holstered pistol so hard that your knuckles pop.

“RAINBOW! THAT’S ENOUGH!” Twilight’s thunderous voice shakes the entire building, knocking dust from the ceiling and cowing the pegasus before the first word is even over.

Rainbow lowers to the floor, but keeps an ugly, betrayed glower on you, even as Rarity dabs at her split lip with a linen napkin.

You keep your eyes on the ground, trying to ignore the holes being stared into you.

The entire room is silent for a moment.

Why can’t you ever catch a break?

The quiet is broken by hoof-steps until a pair of purple hooves stops on the edge of your vision.

”Anon?” Twilight asks quietly.

You gulp.

”What happened there?”

“I...” you pause and clench your jaw so hard that you can hear your teeth creak. “I don’t enjoy being touched, Twilight. To the point that I just react without thinking. It’s nothing against any of you. It’s... Difficult to explain.” You’re keenly aware of the amount of attention on you. “I was wrong to not warn any of you, and I apologize.”

You lift your gaze up to find all three ponies bore into you with unreadable expressions. Rarity opens her mouth as if to say something, but stops halfway. When you look back, all of them tear their eyes away, suddenly looking uncomfortable.

Rainbow takes a deep breath and steps forward, making you reflexively lean back. “Do you mean it?” she asks simply.

“Mean..?”

”Did you mean to take a swing at me?”

“No. Never,” you tell her as firmly as your still shaky voice can.

The petite pony stares you down as hard as she can for nearly a full minute, and you refuse to look away. Finally she takes a deep breath and lets her withers slump. “I guess... I guess if you didn’t mean it... I can’t really stay angry...” she mumbles. “I wanna be mad, I really do. But you said sorry and meant it. Some warning, next time?”

“Of course,” you promise. “Maybe we should split up for the rest of the day. Or at least I should go.”

None of them agree, but neither do they disagree.

“Before that, though. At least let me treat your lip, Rainbow,” you say, unzipping your bag and reaching in.

She touches the still bleeding split with a hoof, her face contorting into a grimace. “I don’t think you can really do anything about a busted lip. It’s just gotta heal on its own. It’s not the first one I’ve had, and it won’t be the last.”

“At least let me give you the option, Rainbow,” you plead. “So I can at least tell my conscience I tried.”

The pegasus sighs, but nods.

You pull the spray can of fleshknit out of your pack and show it to the three ponies. “This stuff seals, cleans, and heals small wounds without marks. It stings like crazy, but it’s a minute or two of pain versus days of aching.”

Twilight instantly perks up. “Oh! Is this how you got rid of the cut on your lip when we first met?”

You nod. “Yes. It’s useful stuff for any first aid kit.”

Rainbow eyeballs the can dubiously. “You sure this alien medicine isn’t going to make me melt or something?” She asks, waving a wing at it. “I’m not looking to be a puddle anytime soon. Just get your zapper out if you wanna tussle.”

“I swear. It’s just disinfectant and a mix that speeds up healing. This stuff was tested up and down for any kind of defects.”
”Well...” she turns her lip to you, “let’s go. Just don’t flip out and bust me again.” She rolls her eyes. “Colts be crazy...”

You are Rainbow Dash.

And you can’t focus on this Celestia-damned book.

You groan and bookmark your page before closing it, opting to roll over on your bed and stare at the white ceiling instead. Once Anon fixed your lip, he and Twi had left out the back door of Rarity’s place, taking the long way back to the library. That was a few hours ago.

You rub the spot where he hit you, feeling nothing there at all. “He really wasn't joking when he said it would be gone,” you speak to yourself.

Even after punching you, you still want to be his friend, no matter how much your pride rebels.

He listened to you with real interest, and didn’t blow you off or just pretend until it was obvious. He’s even easier to talk to about normal subjects since he didn’t get on your case about things stallions would.

And then he nearly dropped you.

There was no mistaking the kind of strength or speed behind that swing. It was all you could do to get out of the way, having no time to channel any mana in your body and all. If he had actually hit your jaw...

With a growl, you force the thought away.

You were about ready to trash him, stallion or not, until you saw the regret etched into his furless face. Even as an alien, it was plain as day. He really didn’t mean to hurt you.

You turn over and reopen your book, one of Twi’s recommendations, only to find yourself reading the same line over and over.

The book closes with a ‘snap!’ and you flop over again.

The same thought dominates your mind like it has for the last few hours, making your stomach tighten into an uncomfortable knot.

’What could scare somepony into not wanting to be touched?’

Author's Note

its shit
Bump is next look out for vamppite garbaage and point ous ,ostakes on this one