The day was perfect in all regards of the word. No one could ask for a brighter sun blazing down on the town, illuminating Ponyville’s transition from the cold bite of winter to the soft kiss of spring. Flowers were blooming wherever they could, whether hung on a pony’s porch or sold at Roseluck’s stand. A breeze chilled Fluttershy’s wings ever so slightly. She didn’t mind, though. The beautiful scents it carried to her sniffly nose made up for it. She breathed it in deeply. The anxious ponies awaiting her would be tough to face. In a moment's hesitation, she knocked on the doors. They opened. Only a few rays of sunshine broke through the castle’s windows, but it was just enough to capture the morbid looks on everyone’s face.
Twilight was the first to approach her when she arrived, clearing her throat while her eyes averted to the floor.
“What did you decide?” The words were dry and forced, hanging in the air. The answer was already known. Just a week ago was when Fluttershy broke the news, announcing the two choices she had.
She took in a deep breath. It was painful enough when she first stated to her friends what the doctors had found, but saying how she was handling it seemed to be far, far worse. The redness in Twilight’s eyes already told her so. The painful curiosity for what she was to say flashed in the eyes of the others. That is, those who were actually looking at her.
“I have six days until I leave to… spend time with my parents.” She forced a smile as if it were a small vacation to catch up with her family, to bond with them. There was a choking silence that permeated the room. This was no small visit.
Pinkie Pie’s voice became uncharacteristically shaky. “Well, I have cupcakes! Strawberry’s your favorite flavor, right Fluttershy?” Her beaming voice almost overpowered the strain on each word she said. Fluttershy sighed, closing her eyes deliberately.
“Girls, I know this is hard for all of us, but please just treat everything normally. I want these last few days to be normal.”
Rainbow Dash’s voice cut through the air like a sharp blade. She ruffled her wings, pushing forward with her ears pinned back. “Normal? You’re dying, Fluttershy. How can any of this be normal!?”
Rarity stepped up towards her, practically yanking her backward by her mane. Rainbow's pained yelp echoed throughout the room.
“Have some tact, Rainbow!” Rarity hissed.
Dash whirled around to face the unicorn, furrowing her brows. “Oh, please! Like none of you are thinking the same thing?” She shoved an accusatory hoof around the room. “We all know this. We have to at least talk about what’s going to happen.” Her eyes darted every which way. “I… I mean...” She lost her words to the stillness.
Applejack’s head hung low. She shuffled her hooves on the ground. “That doesn’t mean ya just blurt it out, birdbrain,” she said barely above a whisper.
Fluttershy kept her eyes tightly closed. “G-Girls, please. Can we at least save… save the serious things for my last day?”
The room fell quiet again, worried frowns and murmurs shared among all except Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash growled, scowling.“What, so none of us are even going to try to make her stay?”
Twilight put a hoof on her shoulder. “Rainbow, it’s her choice to be with family if that’s what she wants.”
“But-”
“Rainbow.”
Silence. Pinkie Pie was the first to rush to Fluttershy's side. She wore a determined look over her blues.
“We’ll make your last days in Ponyville the best! Rarity, bring out the cupcakes!”
Rarity blinked slowly. Pinkie gazed at her longer. “O-Oh… yes,” she whispered before trotting into the kitchen, a bit disoriented. Rainbow Dash moved in.
“Guys, this won’t last for long…”
Twilight breathed,“For Fluttershy’s sake, Rainbow, please just… just do what she asks.” She closed her eyes, rubbing them with her hooves.
Rainbow grunted, turning to face Fluttershy. “So, what? Have you even told Discord yet?”
Her muscles tensed, wings folding tightly to her sides. She rubbed the back of her neck with a hoof, shaking her head slowly. “N-No. I’m… scared how he’ll act.”
Rainbow’s brows furrowed. “Oh, Shy...”
“I’ll tell him soon!” she hastily interjected. “I promise.” She pushed a smile once more, the skin around her eyes wrinkling. Discord mattered too much to her for her to be able to break his heart like that. He was a lot more than a friend to her. Rainbow Dash gawked for a few seconds.
“You promised you’d be with us forever.” The words came off as poison to Fluttershy’s ears. Her thoughts rolled around one another, her eyes staring at her hooves. Yes, it was selfish of her to pack her things away and isolate herself with her parents. She knew that was true. She also knew how scared she was to face her friends on her deathbed.
Applejack wasted no time storming up to Dash.
“Now if ya don’t-”
“Girls!” Fluttershy yelled. Applejack halted her advance, staring at her. No more words were exchanged when she backed up, still shooting daggers at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow herself was staring off, the corners of her eyes growing wet.
“I-I’m sorry.” Her voice began to choke up. “I’ve been a real jerk over the years, haven’t I?”
Fluttershy shook her head speedily. “Oh, no, no, no! I couldn’t have asked for a better friend. Friends, for all of you girls. I…” Tears were threatening to spill at any moment. “Y-You’re going to make me cry again.” She slumped over, allowing Rainbow Dash to embrace her in a hug. Snuggling her head over her shoulder, she sighed.
Applejack came closer. She offered a weak smile. “Sugarcube, we don’t need any more waterworks. It’s what Pinkie said; let’s give you the best days we can in Ponyville.” Despite her words, her cheeks grew wetter by the second. “We’ll make sure you have everything you need.”
Twilight joined the group forming around Fluttershy, offering a hug alongside Rainbow Dash. She spoke softly, like a mother comforting a foal. “Y-You told me one time you wanted to be a tree. How about I find a spell to do that?” Silence. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t joke-”
A soft chuckle pressed its way past Fluttershy’s lips. “Oh, Twilight, that’d be too much.”
Rarity appeared from the kitchen, balancing trays of cupcakes in her magical aura. Pinkie Pie bounced at her side. Her mane was still straight, but a small sense of optimism seemed to be coming from her once more. “Would anybody like some snacks?” Rarity said.
Fluttershy nodded. “That’d be nice.” She looked around the room. How many more days would be like this before they were gone? “I think I’d like some fresh air for a moment though.”
“Whatever you need, dear,” Rarity returned, setting the treats down on the cutie map. Fluttershy muttered gentle thanks, turning to the castle doors. With an unsteady hoof, she pushed them open, gingerly closing them behind her. She made sure they were shut tight before she turned around.
The day was still lovely. Birds chirped in the far distance, weaving notes together into peaceful songs and putting their music on display for the whole town to hear. Ponies roamed about in the sun to wherever they may be headed, smiling. For why would they not be in such gorgeous weather? Sun shining, wind blowing, trees rustling and ponies laughing. The tears leaking from Fluttershy’s eyes seemed out of place among the tranquility.
One by one, droplets splashed against the castle’s steps, glinting in the daylight. A sob barely escaped her mouth, hooves stuffing themselves in her snout to muffle any more noises. She hunkered down in front of the glistening Ponyville castle, closing her eyes to stop the onslaught of sadness wracking her body.
Memories flooded her head, from the moment she met each of her closest friends to when they all truly united years ago with the elements. Pinkie Pie’s goofy laughter whenever Fluttershy entered Sugarcube Corner. Applejack’s hardworking demeanor as she worked the farm, never shying away from helping her in times of need. Rainbow Dash’s comical personality and determined spirit that always pushed Fluttershy to do her best. Rarity’s generous nature that always went above and beyond. Twilight’s helpful insights on friendship and the world around her. Everything made its way into her mind's eye, reminding her of so much that she had that was to be lost.
The hardest part wasn’t that she was losing her life; it was leaving all of her friends, stuck in the grim moods they possessed and not showing the personalities she’d come to love.
Her tears kept on flowing down her cheeks. She didn’t know if she could make it back inside.
She rubbed her cheek with a hoof. It was wrong of her to be so afraid to see them during her last weeks. Would they not want the same of her if they were forced into the situation of having a terminal illness? What right did she have to deprive them of herself during her last days of life? They would be just as hurt as her. The tears started leaking faster. What happened to always being the best of friends? What happened to the confidence she worked oh so hard to build?
“Fluttershy? Holding secret meetings without me?”
It almost felt like a part of her imagination, and she would have believed so if not for the lingering shadow blocking out any sunshine, leaving her colder than she already felt. With apprehensive steps, she moved backward, unable to bring her eyes up to face him. Her heart pulsated inside her chest as if it were a caged animal attempting to flee. That’s what she felt like all around; cornered like prey. Cornered by her own emotions.
His paw was too soft, too reassuring against her dampened muzzle. Wiping away tears slowly, Fluttershy was able to force herself to stare him in the eyes, even if the red pupils were always intimidating no matter how many times she saw them. Intimidating because they looked so deep inside her. Everything was too familiar, from his snaggle tooth to the quirky way his body coiled around like a snake. The way his wings folded up at his sides and his one horn looked like gnarled tree bark was reassuring. It was a sight she didn’t want to leave behind.
It comforted her.
“I’m s-sorry,” she belatedly managed to gasp out between nervous breaths, brushing her hoof to his paw. His fur was so, so soft. Her chapped lips pressed together, dry as her eyes from hours upon hours of crying. “I should’ve told you right away.” She looked down. “Do you… know?”
“Of course I know, silly,” Discord purred out, a handkerchief appearing right in front of her while he pulled away. She took it without question, touching it to her teary eyes. “I knew the moment you first came home from the hospital. I didn’t say anything, though. I knew how much you wanted to avoid all the drama. It's fine, really.” Another version of himself appeared beside himself, resting its arms on his shoulder.
Of course, he would know the moment something was wrong. She could always rely on him in that way.
“Where’s the fun in being sad?” The other Discord said before the two merged into one, donning a tuxedo with a dorky red bowtie. “I decided to be your ever faithful friend.” He bowed down, exaggerating his arm gestures while doing so. “M’lady.”
A chuckle managed to find its way from somewhere in her. Drying her face, she looked into the handkerchief, feeling her smile slip away in seconds. What’s the use of laughing if it would be gone soon?
She turned her head to Discord, wearing his iconic smile. Normal. Is that what she really wanted? To push her emotions away until it was too late to say what she really wanted to say?
“Now, why don’t we join the fun inside?”
She moved her mouth to say yes, but no words came out. Her cheeks flushed slightly. How could she think Discord didn't know when she was sick? He was… well, he was Discord. She stepped a bit closer to him. Yes, the Discord who had been with her for so many years. The Discord who brought hilarity and variety into her days. The Discord who made her become so much bolder than she had been before, made her feel so much better for so long. He who listened to her silly ramblings or comforted her through her sorrow. A million times he had been there for her. A million mini memories she had of him, whether it was a harmless joke he'd made or the look on his face as they reunited after a long time. She felt herself growing redder, her wings instinctively stretching to hide her countenance from the world.
She forced her wings away. These were her last few days, weeks if she was lucky. Here she was with someone who was more than enough to be… special. It was probably her jumbled emotions speaking, but she allowed the thoughts to continue. If he… didn’t feel the same, how would she know? Her eyes fluttered close. That’s right. She wanted things to be normal because everyone felt sorry for her. Yet he could feel pity and play along. But was Discord the type to do that? She shook her head slowly. Would it break her heart more or his for him to pretend to like her?
She reopened her eyes, squinting through the sun. Discord hovered patiently, wearing the genuine concern on his face he only saved for her. Her friends had made her brave along with Discord. Might as well use it now. She forced her wings to fold at her sides. She felt lonely. Might as well try to fix it a little bit.
“I… I like you.”
It was quiet. Deathly quiet. So quiet she could feel the blood rushing in her ears as her snout crimsoned. So quiet the weakness in her legs was the only thing keeping her from bolting away. Without thinking, she veered away from him, opened the castle doors, and went back inside with the doors shut behind her. The abrupt noise of her friends scrambling near her tore Fluttershy out of her trance, grinning faces surrounding her. A cupcake was jostled into her face soon after her entrance.
“Surprise! Strawberry!” The squeaky voice caused her to flinch. Forced. Was it really that hard to even act to be normal? She took in a breath, holding it for what seemed like an eon before exhaling. There was no point in faking.
“I… I’ve changed my mind, girls. I think we should talk a little bit about this, well, this whole situation.”
Pinkie’s cheery atmosphere dissipated, leaving her simper to twist into a frown. Twilight was the only one to offer a small smile among them all, walking closer to her.
“I’m glad you’re handling this so maturely, Fluttershy. If there’s anything-”
The doors to the castle burst open, a rather frazzled Discord with messy fur and puffy eyes standing there. He locked his eyes on Fluttershy, shoving every other pony aside to face her unusually close. Close enough for their muzzles to touch. Fluttershy blushed while he stared, shying away from his glance. He grabbed her hoof. She emitted a small peep.
“Can I kiss you?” he questioned.
“W-What?” she stammered out.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say.”
There was a quiet. He leaned away from her and rubbed the back of his neck. A self-conscious grin crept on his face.
“When you said, ahem, that, Fluttershy, I may have realized how much I don’t want you to leave. So whether that’s kissing you like in Celestia’s hidden romance novels or going on a crazy adventure, I think I want to be with you.”
Fluttershy blinked.
“I’ll be honest when I say I don’t have the faintest clue about love. I’ve never really thought about it. But you, Fluttershy, are so important to me, so different when compared to any other pony. I feel like my world’s falling apart when something happens to you, and I don’t know how I’ll bare you being gone… If you stay, I could try liking you. Not out of pity, because I want to.”
The doctors told her she’d have two months, maximum. Her parents had wanted to take care of her for the last few weeks and make up for any lost time they could. Staring into his eyes, she realized they might just have to come to Ponyville for those last weeks. She couldn’t just abandon everything no matter how hard it might be.
“I’m, uh, sorry?” Discord managed to mumble out. “Kind of a heat of the moment thing.”
Fluttershy smiled. She smiled genuinely for the first time in a while. She had to remember it was always Discord who was with her, and it should stay that way until the end.
“I think I’d like to spend some more time with you.”
Author's Note
I apologize for any feels induced or feelings of disgust with my bad writing.
