Pinkieton

by Imperfect Perfectionist

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Main 6, Princess Luna, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, King Sombra, Tragedy
Length: 9652

An MLP version of Hamilton!

Warning! Strong Language and hinted sexual scenes!

How does a bastard, orphan, filly of a whore and a
Rock Farmer, dropped in the middle of a forgotten
Spot in Equestria by providence, impoverished, in squalor
Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?

Ain't that a story . . .

Published 2017-05-14 14:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-20 09:51:14 UTC

Pinkamena Diane Pie

[Twilight Sparkle]
How does a bastard, orphan, filly of a whore and a
Rock Farmer, dropped in the middle of a forgotten
Spot in Equestria by providence, impoverished, in squalor
Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?

[Spike]
The ten-dollar Founding Mare without a Mother
Got a lot farther by working a lot harder
By being a lot smarter
By being a self-starter
By fourteen, they placed her in charge of a trading charter

[Gilda]
And every day while slaves were being slaughtered and carted
Away across the waves, she struggled and kept her guard up
Inside, she was longing for something to be a part of
The sister was ready to beg, steal, borrow, or barter

[Trixie]
Then a hurricane came, and devastation reigned
Our girl saw her future drip, dripping down the drain
Put a pencil to her temple, connected it to her brain
And she wrote her first refrain, a testament to her pain

[Twilight]
Well, the word got around, they said, “This fillies is insane, man”
Took up a collection just to send her to the mainland
“Get your education, don’t forget from whence you came, and
The world's gonna know your name. What’s your name, kid?”

[Pinkamena Diane Pie]
Pinkamena Di-ane Pie
My name is Pinkamena Di-ane Pie
And there’s a million things I haven’t done
But just you wait, just you wait...

[Fluttershy]
When she was ten her father split, full of it, debt-ridden
Two years later, see Pinkie and her mother bed-ridden
Half-dead sittin' in their own sick, the scent thick

[FULL COMPANY EXCEPT Pinkie (whispering)]
And Pinkie got better but her mother went quick

[Princess Luna]
Moved in with her sister, the sister committed suicide
Left her with nothin’ but ruined pride, something new inside
A voice saying

[Princess Luna]
“You gotta fend for yourself.”
[COMPANY]
“Pinkie, you gotta fend for yourself.”
[Luna]
She started retreatin’ and readin’ every treatise on the shelf

[Twilight]
There would have been nothin’ left to do
For someone less astute
She woulda been dead or destitute
Without a cent of restitution
Started workin’, clerkin’ for her late mother’s landlord
Tradin’ sugar cane and rum and all the things she can’t afford
Scammin’ for every book she can get her hooves on
Plannin’ for the future see her now as she stands on
The bow of a ship headed for a new land
In Neigh York you can be a new mare

[COMPANY]
Scammin’

Plannin’
Oooh...
[COMPANY]
In Neigh York you can
Be a new mare—
In Neigh York you can
Be a new mare—
[Pinkie]
Just you wait!

Just you wait!
[COMPANY]
In Neigh York you can be a new mare—

[MARES]
In Neigh York—
[STALLIONS]
Neigh York—
[Pinkie]
Just you wait!

[COMPANY]
Pinkamena Diane Pie

We are waiting in the wings for you

You could never back down
You never learned to take your time!

Oh, Pinkamena Diane Pie

When AMareica sings for you
Will they know what you overcame?
Will they know you rewrote the game?
The world will never be the same, oh

[Twilight]
The ship is in the harbor now
See if you can spot her

Another immigrant
Comin’ up from the bottom

Her enemies destroyed her rep
America forgot him
[COMPANY]
Pinkamena Diane Pie!

Waiting in the wings for you

You never learned to take your time!

Oh, Alexander Hamilton
Pinkamena Diane Pie…
AMareica sings for you
Will they know what you overcame?
Will they know you rewrote the game?
The world will never be the same, oh

[STALLIONS]
Just you wait

[COMPANY]
Just you wait

[Trixie/Rainbow & Zecora/Gilda]
We fought with her

[Spike/Surprise]
Me? I died for her

[Luna]
Me? I trusted her

[Fluttershy & Rarity & Applejack/ Fleur]
Me? I loved her

[Twilight]
And me? I’m the damn fool that shot her

[COMPANY]
There’s a million things I haven’t done
But just you wait!

[Twilight]
What’s your name, kid?

[COMPANY]
Pinkamena Diane Piane!

Not Throwing Away My Shot

{Pinkie]
I am not throwing away my shot!
I am not throwing away my shot!
Hey yo, I’m just like my country
I’m young, scrappy and hungry
And I’m not throwing away my shot!
I’m ‘a get a scholarship to King’s College
I prob’ly shouldn’t brag, but dag, I amaze and astonish
The problem is I got a lot of brains but no polish
I gotta holler just to be heard
With every word, I drop knowledge!
I’m a diamond in the rough, a shiny piece of coal
Tryin’ to reach my goal. My power of speech: unimpeachable
Only nineteen but my mind is older
These Neigh York City streets get colder, I shoulder
Ev’ry burden, ev’ry disadvantage
I have learned to manage, I don’t have a gun to brandish
I walk these streets famished
The plan is to fan this spark into a flame
But damn, it’s getting dark, so let me spell out the name
I am the—

[Pinkie/Zecora/Rainbow Dash/Spike]
PINKAMEN-A we are meant to be

[HAMILTON]
A colony that runs independently
Meanwhile, The Empire keeps shittin’ on us endlessly
Essentially, they tax us relentlessly
Then King Sombra turns around, runs a spending spree
He ain’t ever gonna set his descendants free
So there will be a revolution in this century
Enter me!

Pinkie/Zecora/Rainbow Dash/Spike

[Pinkie]
Don’t be shocked when your hist’ry book mentions me
I will lay down my life if it sets us free
Eventually, you’ll see my ascendancy

[Pinkie]
And I am not throwing away
My shot
I am not throwing away
My shot
Hey yo, I’m just like my country
I’m young, scrappy and hungry
And I’m not throwing away my shot
[Spike]
My shot!

My shot!

And I’m not throwing away my shot.

[Pinkie/Zecora/Rainbow Dash/Spike]
I am not throwing away my shot
I am not throwing away my shot
Hey yo, I’m just like my country
I’m young, scrappy and hungry
And I’m not throwing away my shot
It’s time to take a shot!

[Zecora]
I dream of life without a monarchy
The unrest in Prance will lead to ‘onarchy?
‘Onarchy? How you say, how you say, ‘anarchy?’
When I fight, I make the other side panicky
With my—

[Pinkie/Zecora/Rainbow Dash/Spike]
Shot!

[Rainbow Dash]
Yo, I’m a tailor’s apprentice
And I got y’all knuckleheads in loco parentis
I’m joining the rebellion cuz I know it’s my chance
To socially advance, instead of sewin’ some pants!
I’m gonna take a—

[Pinkie/Zecora/Rainbow Dash/Spike]
Shot!

[Spike]
But we’ll never be truly free
Until those in bondage have the same rights as you and me
You and I. Do or die. Wait till I sally in
On a stallion with the first black battalion
Have another—

[Pinkie/Zecora/Rainbow Dash/Spike]
Shot!

[Twilight]
Geniuses, lower your voices
You keep out of trouble and you double your choices
I’m with you, but the situation is fraught
You’ve got to be carefully taught:
If you talk, you’re gonna get shot!

[Pinkie]
Twily, check what we got
Miss Zecora, hard rock like Lancelot
I think your pants look hot
Spike, I like you a lot
Let’s hatch a plot blacker than the kettle callin’ the pot...
What are the odds the gods would put us all in one spot
Poppin’ a squat on conventional wisdom, like it or not
A bunch of revolutionary manumission abolitionists?
Give me a position, show me where the ammunition is!

Oh, am I talkin’ too loud?
Sometimes I get over excited, shoot off at the mouth
I never had a group of friends before
I promise that I’ll make y’all proud

[Spike]
Let’s get this girl in front of a crowd!

[Pinkie/Zecora/Rainbow Dash/Spike/ENSEMBLE]
I am not throwing away my shot
I am not throwing away my shot
Hey yo, I’m just like my country
I’m young, scrappy and hungry
And I’m not throwing away my shot

I am not throwing away my shot
I am not throwing away my shot
Hey yo, I’m just like my country
I’m young, scrappy and hungry
And I’m not throwing away my shot

[Spike]
Ev’rybody sing:
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Hey!
Whoa!
Wooh!!
Whoa!
Ay, let ‘em hear ya!

Let’s go!

I said shout it to the rooftops!
Said, to the rooftops!
Come on!

Come on, let’s go!

[Pinkie/Zecora/Rainbow Dash/]
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Yea!

[COMPANY]
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!

Yea!

[Spike]
Rise up!
When you’re living on your knees, you rise up
Tell your brother that he’s gotta rise up
Tell your sister that she's gotta rise up

[Spike AND ENSEMBLE]
When are these colonies gonna rise up?
When are these colonies gonna rise up?
When are these colonies gonna rise up?
When are these colonies gonna rise up?

Rise up!
[COMPANY]
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!

Rise up!

[Pinkie]
I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory
When’s it gonna get me?
In my sleep? Seven feet ahead of me?
If I see it comin’, do I run or do I let it be?
Is it like a beat without a melody?
See, I never thought I’d live past twenty
Where I come from some get half as many
Ask anybody why we livin’ fast and we laugh, reach for a flask
We have to make this moment last, that’s plenty

Scratch that
This is not a moment, it’s the movement
Where all the hungriest sisters with
Something to prove went?
Foes oppose us, we take an honest stand
We roll like Celestia, claimin’ our promised land
And? If we win our independence?
Is that a guarantee of freedom for our descendants?
Or will the blood we shed begin an endless
Cycle of vengeance and death with no defendants?
I know the action in the street is excitin’
But Luna, between all the bleedin’ ‘n fightin’
I’ve been readin’ ‘n writin’
We need to handle our financial situation
Are we a nation of states? What’s the state of our nation?
I’m past patiently waitin’. I’m passionately
Smashin’ every expectation
Every action’s an act of creation!
I’m laughin’ in the face of casualties and sorrow
For the first time, I’m thinkin’ past tomorrow

[Pinkie AND COMPANY]
And I am not throwing away my shot
I am not throwing away my shot
Hey yo, I’m just like my country
I’m young, scrappy and hungry
And I’m not throwing away my shot

[Pinkie/Zecora/Rainbow Dash/Spike]
We’re gonna rise up! Time to take a shot!
We’re gonna rise up! Time to take a shot!
We’re gonna

[Pinkie]
Time to take a shot!

[Pinkie/Zecora/Rainbow Dash/Spike]
Time to take a shot!

Time to take a shot!

Take a shot!
Shot!
Shot!
A-yo it’s
Time to take a shot!
Time to take a shot!
And I am—
[ENSEMBLE]
Not throwing away my shot

Not throwing away my shot

We’re gonna

Rise up!
Rise up!

Rise up!
Rise up!

Rise up!

Rise up!

Ri— ri— ri—

Time to take a shot!
Time to take a shot!
And I am—

[Pinkie/Zecora/Rainbow Dash/Spike]
Not throwin’ away my—

[COMPANY]
Not throwin’ away my shot!

The Story Of Tonight

[Pinkie]
I may not live to see our glory!

[Zecora/Rainbow /Spike]
I may not live to see our glory!

[Pinkie]
But I will gladly join the fight!

[Zecora/Rainbow /Spike]
But I will gladly join the fight!

[Pinkie]
And when our children tell our story…

[Zecora/Rainbow /Spike]
And when our children tell our story…

[Pinkie]
They’ll tell the story of tonight

[Rainbow]
Let’s have another round tonight

[Zecora]
Let’s have another round tonight

[Pinkie]
Let’s have another round tonight

[Spike]
Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away
No matter what they tell you
Raise a glass to the four of us

[Spike/Rainbow]
Tomorrow there’ll be more of us

[Zecora/Rainbow /Spike]
Telling the story of tonight

[Pinkie]
They’ll tell the story of tonight

[Zecora/Rainbow /Spike]
Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away

[Pinkie]
No matter what they tell you

[Zecora/Rainbow ]
Let’s have another round tonight

[Spike]
Raise a glass to the four of us

[Pinkie]
I may not live to see our glory!

[Zecora/Rainbow /Spike]
I may not live to see our glory!

[Pinkie]
But I will gladly join the fight!

[Zecora/Rainbow /Spike]
But I will gladly join the fight!

[Pinkie]
And when our children tell our story…

[Zecora/Rainbow /Spike]
And when our children tell our story…

[Pinkie]
They’ll tell the story of tonight

[Rainbow]
Let’s have another round tonight

[Zecora]
Let’s have another round tonight

[Pinkie]
Let’s have another round tonight

[Spike]
Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away
No matter what they tell you
Raise a glass to the four of us

[Spike/Rainbow]
Tomorrow there’ll be more of us

[Zecora/Rainbow /Spike]
Telling the story of tonight

[Pinkie]
They’ll tell the story of tonight

[Zecora/Rainbow /Spike]
Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away

[Pinkie]
No matter what they tell you

[Zecora/Rainbow /]
Let’s have another round tonight

[Spike]
Raise a glass to the four of us

[Pinkie/Zecora/Rainbow /Spike]
Tomorrow there’ll be more of us

[Pinkie/Spike]
Telling the story of tonight

[Rainbow/Zecora]
Let’s have another round tonight

[Pinkie/Spike/
ENSEMBLE]
They’ll tell the story of tonight

They’ll tell the story of tonight

They’ll tell the story of tonight
[Rainbow/Zecora/
ENSEMBLE]
Raise a glass to freedom

Raise a glass to freedom

They’ll tell the story of—

[FULL ENSEMBLE]
Tonight
Tomorrow there’ll be more of us

[Pinkie/Spike]
Telling the story of tonight

[Rainbow Dash/Zecora]
Let’s have another round tonight

[Pinkie/Spike/
ENSEMBLE]
They’ll tell the story of tonight

They’ll tell the story of tonight

They’ll tell the story of tonight
[Spike/Zecora/
ENSEMBLE]
Raise a glass to freedom

Raise a glass to freedom

They’ll tell the story of—

[FULL ENSEMBLE]
Tonight

Farmer Refuted

[Seaswirl]

Hear ye, hear ye! My name is Samantha Seaswirl
And I present “Free Thoughts on the
Proceedings of the Continental Congress!”
Heed not the rabble who scream revolution
They have not your interests at heart

[Rainbow]
Oh my Celestia. Tear this idiot apart

[Seaswirl]

Chaos and bloodshed are not a solution
Don’t let them lead you astray
This Congress does not speak for me

[Twilight]
Let her be

[Seaswirl]
They’re playing a dangerous game
I pray the king shows you his mercy
For shame, for shame…

[Pinkie]
Yo!

He’d have you all unravel at the
Sound of screams but the
Revolution is comin’
The have-nots are gonna
Win this
It’s hard to listen to you with a straight face

Chaos and bloodshed already haunt us, honestly you shouldn’t even talk. And what about Boston? Look at the cost, n’ all that we’ve lost n’ you talk
About Congress?!

My dog speaks more eloquently than thee!

But strangely, your mange is the same

Is he in Ponsey?

For the revolution!

[Seaswirl]

Heed not the rabble
Who scream
Revolution, they
Have not your
Interests
At heart

Chaos and bloodshed are
Not a
Solution. Don’t
Let them lead you
Astray
This Congress does not
Speak for me

They’re playing a dangerous game

I pray the king shows you his mercy

For shame

For shame!

[COMPANY]
For the revolution!

[SEABURY]
Heed—

[Pinkie]
If you repeat yourself again I’m gonna—

[Seaswirl/Pinkie]
Scream—

[Pinkie]
Honestly, look at me, please don’t read!

[Seaswirl]
Not your interests—

[Pinkie]
Don’t modulate the key then not debate with me!
Why should a tiny island across the sea regulate the price of tea?

[BURR]
Pinkamena, please!

[Pinkie]
Twily, I’d rather be divisive than indecisive, drop the niceties

[ENSEMBLE]
Silence! A message from the King!
A message from the King!

[FULL COMPANY]
A message from the King!

Right Hoof Mare

[COMPANY]
Empires Admiral Howe’s got troops on the water
Thirty-two thousand troops in Neigh York harbor

[ENSEMBLE 1]
Thirty-two thousand troops in Neigh York harbor
When they surround our troops!
They surround our troops!
When they surround our troops!
[ENSEMBLE 2]
Thirty-two thousand troops in Neigh York harbor
They surround our troops!
They surround our troops!

[Pinkie]
As a foal on the farm I wished for a war
I knew that I was poor
I knew it was the only way to—

[Pinkie/Twilight/Spike/Zecora/Rainbow]
Rise up!

[Pinkie]
If they tell my story
I am either gonna die on the battlefield in glory or—

[Pinkie/Twilight/Spike/Zecora/Rainbow]
Rise up!

[Pinkie]
I will fight for this land
But there’s only one mare
Who can give us a command so we can—

[Pinkie/Twilight/Spike/Zecora/Rainbow]
Rise up!

[Pinkie]
Understand? It’s the only way to—

[Pinkie/Twilight/Spike/Zecora/Rainbow]
Rise up! Rise up!

[Pinkie]
Here she comes!

[ENSEMBLE]
Here comes the Princess!

[Twilight]
Mares and gentlecolts!

[ENSEMBLE]
Here comes the Princess!

[Twilight]
The moment you’ve been waiting for!

[ENSEMBLE]
Here comes the Princess!

[Twilight]
The pride of Mount Vernon!

[ENSEMBLE]
Here comes the Princess!

[Twilight]
Princess Celestia!

[Celestia]
We are outgunned
Outmanned
Outnumbered
Outplanned
We gotta make an all out stand
Ayo, I’m gonna need a right-hoof mare.

[ENSEMBLE]
What?
What?
Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck!

Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck!

[Celestia]
Check it—
Can I be real a second?
For just a millisecond?
Let down my guard and tell the people how I feel a second?
Now I’m the model of a modern major general
The venerated Virginian veteran whose men are all
Lining up, to put me up on a pedestal
Writin’ letters to relatives
Embellishin’ my elegance and eloquence
But the elephant is in the room
The truth is in ya face when ya hear the Empires cannons go…

[ENSEMBLE]
Boom!

[Celestia]
Any hope of success is fleeting
How can I keep leading when the people I’m
Leading keep retreating?
We put a stop to the bleeding as the British take Brooklyn
Knight takes rook, but look
We are outgunned
Outmanned
Outnumbered
Outplanned
We gotta make an all out stand
Ayo, I’m gonna need a right-hoof mare
Incoming!
[ENSEMBLE]
What?
What?
Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck!

Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck!

[Pinkie]
They’re battering down the Battery check the damages

[Rainbow]
Rah!

[Pinkie]
We gotta stop ‘em and rob ‘em of their advantages

[Rainbow]
Rah!

[Pinkie]
Let’s take a stand with the stamina the Gods has granted us
Pinkie Pie won’t abandon ship
Yo, let’s steal their cannons—

[Rainbow]
Shh-boom!
[COMPANY]
Boom!

[Celestia]
Goes the cannon, watch the blood and the shit spray and…

[COMPANY]
Boom!

[Celestia]
Goes the cannon, we’re abandonin’ Kips Bay and…

[COMPANY]
Boom!

[Celestia]
There’s another ship and…

[COMPANY]
Boom!

[Celestia]
We just lost the southern tip and…

[COMPANY]
Boom!

[Celestia]
We gotta run to Harlem quick, we can’t afford another slip
Guns and horses giddyup
I decide to divvy up
My forces, they’re skittish as the British cut the city up
This close to giving up, facing mad scrutiny
I scream in the face of this mass mutiny:
Are these the men with which I am to defend America?
We ride at midnight, Manhattan in the distance
I cannot be everywhere at once, people
I’m in dire need of assistance…

[Twilight]
Your excellency, mam!

[Celestia]
Who are you?

[Twilight]
Twilight Sparkle, Mam?
Permission to state my case?

[Celestia]
As you were

[Twilight]
Sir
I was a captain under General Montgomery
Until he caught a bullet in the neck in Quebec
And well, in summary
I think that I could be of some assistance
I admire how you keep firing on the British
From a distance

[Celestia]
Huh

[Twilight]
I have some questions, a couple of suggestions on how to fight instead of fleeing west

[Celestia]
Yes?

[Twilight]
Well—

[Pinkie]
Your excellency, you wanted to see me?

[Celestia]
Pinkie, come in, have you met Twilight?

[Pinkie]
Yes, mam

[Pinkie & Twilight]
We keep meeting

[Twilight]
As I was saying, mam, I look forward to seeing your strategy play out

[Celestia]
Twilight?

[Twilight]
Sir?

[Celestia]
Close the door on your way out

[Pinkie]
Have I done something wrong, mam?

[Celestia]
On the contrary
I called you here because our odds are beyond scary
Your reputation precedes you, but I have to laugh

[Pinkie]
Mam?

[Celestia]
Pinkie Pie, how come no one can get you on their staff?

[Pinkie]
Mam!

[Celestia]
Don’t get me wrong, you’re a young man of great renown
I know you stole Sombras cannons when we were still downtown
Nathaniel Green and Henry Knox wanted to hire you…

[Pinkie]
To be their Secretary? I don’t think so

[Celestia]
Why’re you upset?

[Pinkie]
I’m not—

[Celestia]
It’s alright, you want to fight, you’ve got a hunger
I was just like you when I was younger
Head full of fantasies of dyin’ like a martyr?

[Pinkie]
Yes

[Celestia]
Dying is easy, young mare. Living is harder

[Pinkie]
Why are you telling me this?

[Celestia]
I’m being honest
I’m working with a third of what our Congress has promised
We are a powder keg about to explode
I need someone like you to lighten the load. So?

[COMPANY ]
I am not throwin’ away my shot!
I am not throwin’ away my shot!
Ayo, I’m just like my country, I’m young
Scrappy and hungry!

[Pinkie]
I am not throwing away my shot!

[Celestia]
Filly

[Celestia & COMPANY]
We are outgunned, outmanned!

[Pinkie]
You need all the help you can get
I have some friends. Spike, Rainbow
Zecora, okay, what else?

[Celestia & COMPANY]
Outnumbered, outplanned!

[Pinkie]
We’ll need some spies on the inside
Some King’s men who might let some things slide
I’ll write to Congress and tell ‘em we need supplies, you rally the guys,
Master the element of surprise
I’ll rise above my station, organize your information, ‘til we rise to the occasion of our new nation. Mam! [COMPANY]
Boom!

Chicka-boom!

SCHUYLER SISTERS/WOMEN]
Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Whoa, whoa, whoa…
[ENSEMBLE]
Here comes the Princess!

[Pinkie]
Rise up!

[Spike/Zecora/Rainbow]
What?

[ENSEMBLE]
Here comes the Princess!

[Pinkie/SCHUYLER SISTERS/WOMEN]
Rise up!

[Spike/Zecora/Rainbow]
What?

[ENSEMBLE]
Here comes the Princess!

[Pinkie/SCHUYLER SISTERS]
Rise up!

[Spike/Zecora/Rainbow]
What?

[COMPANY]
Here comes the Princess!

[Pinkie]
What?

[Celestia]
And her right hoof mare!

[COMPANY]
Boom!

Winters Ball

[Twilight]
How does the bastard, orphan, foal of a whore
Go on and on
Grow into more of a phenomenon?
Watch this obnoxious, arrogant, loudmouth bother
Be seated at the right hand of the mother?
Celestia hires Pinkie right on sight
But Pinkie still wants to fight, not write
Now Pinkie’s skill with a quill is undeniable
But what do we have in common? We’re
Reliable with the

[All Men]
Ladies!

[Burr]
There are so many to deflower!

[All Men]
Ladies!

[Twilight]
Looks! Proximity to power

[All Men]
Ladies!

[Twilight]
They delighted and distracted her
Martha Washington named her feral tomcat after her!

[Pinkie]
That’s true!

[Full Company]
1780

[Twilight]
A winter’s ball
And the Schuyler sisters are the envy of all
Yo, if you can marry a sister, you’re rich, son

[Pinkie]
Is it a question of if, Twily, or which one?

[Pinkie/Twilight/Spike]
Hey
Hey
Hey hey

Helpless

[Fluttershy]
Ohh, I do I do I do I
Dooo! Hey!
Ohh, I do I do I do I
Dooo! Girl you got me

[ALL WOMEN]
Hey hey hey hey
Hey hey hey hey
Hey hey hey hey
Hey hey hey

[Fluttershy AND WOMEN]
Helpless!
Look into your eyes, and the sky’s the limit I’m helpless!
Down for the count, and I’m drownin’ in ‘em

I have never been the type to try and grab the spotlight
We were at a revel with some rebels on a hot night
Laughin’ at my sister as she’s dazzling the room
Then you walked in and my heart went “Boom!”
Tryin’ to catch your eye from the side of the ballroom
Everybody’s dancin’ and the band’s top volume

Grind to the rhythm as we wine and dine
Grab my sister, and
Whisper, “Yo, this
One’s mine.”

My sister made her way across the room to you
And I got nervous, thinking “What’s she gonna do?”
She grabbed you by the arm, I’m thinkin’ “I’m through”
Then you look back at me and suddenly I’m
Helpless!

Oh, look at those eyes

Oh!
Yeah, I’m
Helpless, I know

I’m so into you
I am so into you

I know I’m down for the count
And I’m drownin’ in ‘em.

[ALL WOMEN]
Oooh

Oooh

Oooh

Oooh

Helpless!

Look into your eyes
And the sky’s the limit
I’m
Helpless!
Down for the count
And I’m drownin’ in ‘em

I’m helpless!

Look into your eyes
And the sky’s the limit I’m helpless!

Down for the count
And I’m drownin’ in ‘em.

[Pinkie]
Where are you taking me?

[Rarity]
I’m about to change your life

[Pinkie]
Then by all means, lead the way

[Fluttershy]
Fluttershy Schuyler. It’s a pleasure to meet you

[Pinkie]
Schuyler?

[Rarity]
My sister

[Fluttershy]
Thank you for all your service

[Pinkie]
If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it

[Rarity]
I’ll leave you to it

[Fluttershy AND WOMEN]
One week later

[Fluttershy]
I’m writin’ a letter nightly
Now my life gets better, every letter that you write me
Laughin’ at my sister, cuz she wants to form a harem

[Rarity]
I’m just sayin’, if you really loved me, you would share him

[Fluttershy]
Ha!
Two weeks later
In the living room stressin’
My father’s stone-faced
While you’re asking for his blessin’
I’m dying inside, as
You wine
And dine
And I’m tryin’ not to cry
‘cause there’s nothing that your mind can’t do
My father makes his way across the room
To you
I panic for a second, thinking
“we’re through”
But then he shakes your hand and says
“Be true”
And you turn back to me, smiling, and I’m
Helpless!

Helpless!
Hoo!

That girl is mine
The girl is mine!

Helpless! Helpless!
Down for the count
And I’m drownin’ in em

[ALL WOMEN]
Stressin’

Blessin’

Oooh

Oooh

Oooh

Oooh

Helpless!
Look into your eyes
And the sky’s the
Limit I’m
Helpless!
Down for the count
And I’m drownin’ in
‘em I’m
Helpless!

Look into your eyes
And the sky’s the
Limit I’m
Helpless!
Down for the count
And I’m drownin’ in em

[Pinkie]
Flutters, I don’t have a dollar to my name
An acre of land, a troop to command, a dollop of fame
All I have’s my honor, a tolerance for pain
A couple of college credits and my top-notch brain
Insane, your family brings out a different side of me
Sweetie confides in me, Rarity tried to take a bite of me
No stress, my love for you is never in doubt
We’ll get a little place in Hooflem and we’ll figure it out
I’ve been livin’ without a family since I was a child
My father left, my mother died, I grew up buckwild
But I’ll never forget my mother’s face, that was real
And long as I’m alive, Flutters, swear to Luna
You’ll never feel so…

Flutters…

I’ve never felt so—

My life is gon’ be fine cuz Eliza’s in it.
[Fluttershy]
I do I do I do I do!

I do I do I do I do!

Hey, yeah, yeah!

I’m down for the count
I’m—

I look into your eyes, and the sky’s the limit
I’m

…drownin’ in ‘em.
[ALL WOMEN]
Helpless!

Helpless!

Helpless!

Down for the count
And I’m drownin’ in ‘em

Helpless!

Helpless!

Helpless!

Down for the count
And I’m drownin’ in ‘em.

[ALL WOMEN]
In Neigh York, you can be a new mare…
In Neigh York, you can be a new mare…
In Neigh York, you can be a new mare…

[Fluttershy]
Helpless

Satisfied

[LAURENS]
Alright, alright. That’s what I’m talkin’ about!
Now everyone give it up for the maid of honor
Angelica Schuyler!

[Rarity]
A toast to the groom!

To the bride!

From your sister

Who is always by your side

To your union

And the hope that you provide

May you always…

Be satisfied

[ALL MEN]
To the groom!
To the groom!
To the groom!

To the bride!
To the bride!

Rarity!
Rarity!
Rarity!

By your side!

To the union!
To the revolution!

You provide!
You provide!

[HAMILTON AND MEN]
Always—

Rewind—

[ALL WOMEN]
To the groom!

To the bride!

To the bride!

[ELIZA AND WOMEN]
Rarity!

By your side!

To the union!
To the revolution!

You provide!

Always—

Rewind—
Rewind, Rewind
Helpless, sky's, sky's
Drownin' in em
Drownin', rewind

I remember that night, I just might (rewind)
I remember that night, I just might (rewind)
I remember that night, I remember that—

[Rarity]
I remember that night, I just might
Regret that night for the rest of my days

I remember those soldier boys
Tripping over themselves to win our praise

I remember that dreamlike candlelight
Like a dream that you can’t quite place

But Alexander, I’ll never forget the first
Time I saw your face

I have never been the same
Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame
And when you said “Hi,” I forgot my dang name
Set my heart aflame, ev’ry part aflame

[FULL COMPANY]
This is not a game…

[Pinkie]
You strike me as a mare who has never been satisfied

[Rarity]
I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. You forget yourself

[Pinkie]
You’re like me. I’m never satisfied

[Rarity]
Is that right?

[Pinkie]
I have never been satisfied

[Rarity]
My name is Rarity Schuyler

[Pinkie]
Pinkamena Diane Pie

[Rarity]
Where’s your fam’ly from?

[Pinkie]
Unimportant. There’s a million things I haven’t done but
Just you wait, just you wait…

[Rarity]
So so so—
So this is what it feels like to match wits
With someone at your level! What the hell is the catch? It’s
The feeling of freedom, of seein’ the light
It’s Ben Hooflin with a key and a kite! You see it, right?
The conversation lasted two minutes, maybe three minutes
Ev’rything we said in total agreement, it’s
A dream and it’s a bit of a dance
A bit of a posture, it’s a bit of a stance. She’s a
Bit of a flirt, but I’m ‘a give it a chance
I asked about her fam’ly, did you see his answer?
Her hooves started fidgeting, she looked askance?
She’s penniless, she’s flying by the seat of her pants

Beautiful, boy, does she know it!
Pink fuzz, and she can’t even grow it!
I wanna take her far away from this place
Then I turn and see my sister’s face and she is…

[Fluttershy]
Helpless…

[Rarity]
And I know she is…

[Fluttershy]
Helpless…

[Rarity]
And her eyes are just…

[Fluttershy]
Helpless…

[Rarity]
And I realize

[Rarity AND COMPANY]
Three fundamental truths at the exact same time…

[Pinkie]
Where are you taking me?

[Rarity]
I’m about to change your life

[Pinkie]
Then by all means, lead the way

[COMPANY]
Number one!

[Rarity]
I’m a girl in a world in which
My only job is to marry rich
My father has no sons so I’m the one
Who has to social climb for one
So I’m the oldest and the wittiest and the gossip in
Neigh York City is insidious
And Pinkamena is penniless
Ha! That doesn’t mean I want her any less

[Fluttershy]
Fluttershy Schuyler. It’s a pleasure to meet you

[Pinkie]
Schuyler?

[Rarity]
My sister

[COMPANY]
Number two!

[Rarity]
She’s after me cuz I’m a Schuyler sister
That elevates her status, I’d
Have to be naïve to set that aside
Maybe that is why I introduce her to Fluttershy
Now that’s her bride
Nice going, Rarity, he was right
You will never be satisfied

[Fluttershy]
Thank you for all your service

[Pinkie]
If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it

[Rarity]
I’ll leave you to it

[COMPANY]
Number three!

[Rarity]
I know my sister like I know my own mind
You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind
If I tell her that I love her she’d be silently resigned
She’d be mine
She would say, “I’m fine”

[Rarity AND COMPANY]
She’d be lying

[Rarity]
But when I fantasize at night
It’s Pinkamena’s eyes
As I romanticize what might
Have been if I hadn’t sized her
Up so quickly
At least my dear Fluttershy’s her wife;
At least I keep her eyes in my life…

To the groom!

To the bride!

From your sister

Who is always by your side

To your union

And the hope that you provide

May you always

Be satisfied

And I know

She’ll be happy as

Her bride
And I know

[ALL MEN ]
To the groom!
To the groom!
To the groom!

To the bride!
To the bride!

Rarity!
Rarity!

By your side

To the union!
To the revolution!

You provide!
You provide!

[Pinkie AND MEN]
Always—

Be satisfied

Be satisfied

[MEN]
Be satisfied
Be satisfied
Be satisfied
Be satisfied

Be satisfied
Be satisfied

Be satisfied
Be satisfied
Be satisfied
Be satisfied.

[ALL WOMEN]
To the groom!

To the bride!

To the bride!

[Fluttershy AND WOMEN]
Rarity!

By your side

To the union!
To the revolution!

You provide!

Always—

Be satisfied

[WOMEN]
Be satisfied

Be satisfied

Be satisfied.

[Rarity]
She will never be satisfied
I will never be satisfied

Story Of Tonight (Reprise)

[Spike]
I may not live to see our glory!

[Rainbow/Zecora]
I may not live to see our glory!

[Spike]
But I’ve seen wonders great and small

[Rainbow/Zecora]
I’ve seen wonders great and small

[Spike]
‘Cause if the shecat can get married

[Rainbow/Zecora]
If Pinkie can get married—

[Spike]
There’s hope for our plots, after all!

[Zecora]
Raise a glass to freedom

[Spike/Rainbow]
Hey!
Something you will never see again!

[Rainbow]
No matter what she tells you

[Zecora]
Let’s have another round tonight!

[Spike]
Raise a glass to the four of us!

[Zecora/Pinkie]
Ho!

[Rainbow]
To the newly not poor of us!

[Spike/Zecora/Pinkie]
Woo!

[Zecora]
We’ll tell the story of tonight

[Spike]
Let’s have another round—

[Pinkie]
Well, if it isn’t Twilight Sparkle

[Twilight]
Mam!

[Pinkie]
I didn’t think that you would make it

[Twilight]
To be sure

[Rainbow/Zecora]
Twi!

[Twilight]
I came to say congratulations

[Rainbow]
Spit a verse, Twi!

[Twilight]
I see the whole gang is here

[Zecora]
You are the worst, Twi!

[Pinkie]
Ignore them. Congrats to you, Lieutenant Colonel
I wish I had your command instead of manning George’s journal

[Twilight]
No, you don’t

[Pinkie]
Yes, I do

[Twilight]
Now, be sensible
From what I hear, you’ve made yourself indispensable

[Spike]
Well, well, I heard
You’ve got a special someone on the side, Burr

[Pinkie]
Is that so?

[Spike]
What are you tryin’ to hide, Twi?

[Twilight]
I should go

[Pinkie]
No, these guys should go

[Zecora]
What?

[Spike]
No!

[Pinkie]
Leave us alone

[Rainbow]
Man…

[Pinkie]
It’s alright, Twi. I wish you’d brought this boy with you tonight, Twi

[Twilight]
You’re very kind, but I’m afraid it’s unlawful, mam

[Pinkie]
What do you mean?

[Twilight]
He’s married

[Pinkie]
I see

[Twilight]
He's also a Crystal Empire officer

[Pinkie]
Oh shit…

[Twilight]
Congrats again, Pinkamena. Smile more
I’ll see you on the other side of the war

[Pinkie]
I will never understand you
If you love this woman, go get her! What are you waiting for?

[Twilight]
I’ll see you on the other side of the war

[Pinkie]
I’ll see you on the other side of the war

Stay Alive

[Fluttershy]
Stay alive…

[Flutttershy/Rarity/ENSEMBLE WOMEN]
Stay alive…

[Pinkie]
I have never seen the Princess so despondent
I have taken over writing all his correspondence
Congress writes, “Celestia, attack the British forces.”
I shoot back, we have resorted to eating our horses
Local merchants deny us equipment, assistance
They only take the Empires money, so sing a song of sixpence

[Celestia]
The cavalry’s not coming

[Pinkie]
But, mam!

[Celestia]
Pinkie, listen. There’s only one way for us to win this
Provoke outrage, outright

[Pinkie]
That’s right

[Celestia]
Don’t engage, strike by night
Remain relentless ‘til their troops take flight

[Pinkie]
Make it impossible to justify the cost of the fight

[Celestia]
Outrun

[Pinkie]
Outrun

[Celestia]
Outlast

[Pinkie]
Outlast

[Celestia]
Hit ‘em quick, get out fast

[Pinkie]
Chick-a-plao!

[Celestia]
Stay alive ‘til this horror show is past
We’re gonna fly a lot of flags half-mast

[Pinkie/Spike/Zecora]
Raise a glass!

[MULLIGAN]
I go back to New York and my apprenticeship

[Zecora]
I ask for Zebra aid, I pray that Zebraic has sent a ship

[Spike]
I stay at work with Pinkie
We write essays against slavery
And every day’s a test of our camaraderie
And bravery

[Pinkie]
We cut supply lines, we steal contraband
We pick and choose our battles and places to take a stand
And ev’ry day
“mam, entrust me with a command,”
And ev’ry day

[Celestia]
No

[Pinkie]
She dismisses me out of hoof
Instead of me
She promotes
Pipsqueak
Makes him second-in-command:

[Pipsqueak]
Pipsqueak.

[Flutttershy/Rarity]
Stay alive...

[Pipsqueak]
I’m a General. Whee!!!!

[Pinkie]
Yeah. He’s not the choice I would have gone with

[Pinkie/Spike/Zecora]
He shits the bed at the Battle of Monmouth

[Celestia]
Ev’ryone attack!

[Pipsqueak]
Retreat!

[Celestia]
Attack!

[Pipsqueak]
Retreat!

[Celestia]
What are you doing, Pip? Get back on your feet!

[Pipsqueak]
But there’s so many of them!

[Celestia]
I’m sorry, is this not your speed?!
Pinkie!

[Pinkie]
Ready, mam!

[Celestia]
Have Zecora take the lead!

[Pinkie]
Yes, mam!

[Spike]
A thousand soldiers die in a hundred degree heat

[Zecora]
As we snatch a stalemate from the jaws of defeat

[Pinkie]
Pipsqueak was left behind
Without a pot to piss in
He started sayin’ this to anybody who would listen:

[Pipsqueak]
Celestia cannot be left alone to her devices
Indecisive, from crisis to crisis
The best thing she can do for the revolution
Is turn n’ go back to sitting’ on that throne.

[COMPANY]
Oo!!

[Celestia]
Don’t do a thing. History will prove him wrong

[Pinkie]
But, mam!

[Celestia]
We have a war to fight, let’s move along

[Spike]
Strong words from Pip, someone oughta hold him to it

[Pinkie]
I can’t disobey direct orders

[Spike]
Then I’ll do it
Pinkie, you’re the closest friend I’ve got

[Pinkie]
Spike, do not throw away your shot

Ten Duel Commandmets

[MEN]
One, two, three, four

[FULL COMPANY]
Five, six, seven, eight, nine…

[Pinkie/Twilight/Spike/Pip]
It’s the Ten Duel Commandments

[FULL COMPANY]
It’s the Ten Duel Commandments
Number one!

[Spike]
The challenge: demand satisfaction
If they apologize, no need for further action

[COMPANY]
Number two!

[Spike]
If they don’t, grab a friend, that’s your second

[Pinkie]
Your lieutenant when there’s reckoning to be reckoned

[COMPANY]
Number three!

[Pip]
Have your seconds meet face to face

[Twilight]
Negotiate a peace…

[Pinkie]
Or negotiate a time and place

[Twilight]
This is commonplace, ‘specially ‘tween recruits

[COMPANY]
Most disputes die, and no one shoots
Number four!

[Spike]
If they don’t reach a peace, that’s alright
Time to get some pistols and a doctor on site

[Pinkie]
You pay him in advance, you treat him with civility

[Twilight]
You have him turn around so he can have deniability

[COMPANY]
Five!

[Pip]
Duel before the sun is in the sky

[COMPANY]
Pick a place to die where it’s high and dry
Number six!

[Pinkie]
Leave a note for your next of kin
Tell ‘em where you been. Pray that hell or heaven lets you in

[COMPANY]
Seven!

[Pip]
Confess your sins. Ready for the moment
Of adrenaline when you finally face your opponent

[COMPANY]
Number eight!

[Spike/Pip/Pinkie/Twilight]
Your last chance to negotiate
Send in your seconds, see if they can set the record straight…

[Twilight]
Pinkie

[Pinkie]
Twilight Sparkle, mam

[Twilight]
Can we agree that duels are dumb and immature?

[Pinkie]
Sure
But your man has to answer for his words, Twi

[Twilight]
With his life? We both know that’s absurd, mam

[Pinkie]
Hang on, how many men died because Pip was inexperienced and ruinous?

[Twilight]
Okay, so we’re doin’ this

[COMPANY]
Number nine!

[Pinkie]
Look ‘em in the eye, aim no higher
Summon all the courage you require
Then count

[MEN]
One two three four

[FULL COMPANY]
Five six seven eight nine

[Pinkie/Twilight]
Number

[COMPANY]
Ten paces!

[Pinkie/Twilight]
Fire!

Meet me Inside

[Pinkie]
Pip, do you yield?

[Twilight]
You shot him in the side!
Yes, he yields!

[Spike]
I’m satisfied

[Twilight]
Yo, we gotta clear the field!

[Pinkie]
Go! We won

[COMPANY]
Here comes the Princess!

[Twilight]
This should be fun

[Celestia]
What is the meaning of this? Ms. Sparkle, get a medic for the General

[Twilight]
Yes, mam

[Celestia]
Pip, you will never agree with me
But believe me, these young mares don’t speak for me
Thank you for your service

[Twilight]
Let’s ride!

[Celestia]
Pinkie!

[Pinkie]
Mam!

[Celestia]
Meet me inside

[COMPANY]
Meet her inside! Meet her inside!
Meet her inside, meet her, meet her inside!

[Celestia]
Filly—

[Pinkie]
Don’t call me filly

[Celestia]
This war is hard enough
Without infighting—

[HAMILTON]
Pip called you out. We called his bluff

[Celestia]
You solve nothing, you aggravate our allies to the south

[Pinkie]
You're absolutely right, Spike should have shot him in the mouth
That would’ve shut him up

[Celestia]
Filly—

[Pinkie]
I’m notcha filly—

[Celestia]
Watch your tone
I am not a maiden in need of defending, I am grown

[HAMILTON (OVERLAPPING)]
Pipsqueak, Caramel
These stallions take your name and they rake it
Through the mud

[Celestia]
My name’s been through a lot, I can take it

[Pinkie]
Well, I don’t have your name. I don’t have your titles
I don’t have your land
But, if you—

[Celestia]
No—

[Pinkie]
If you gave me command of a battalion, a group of stallions to lead, I could fly above my station after the war

[Celestia]
Or you could die and we need you alive

[Pinkie]
I’m more than willing to die—

[Celestia]
Your wife needs you alive, filly, I need you alive—

[Pinkie]
Call me filly one more time—

[Celestia]
Go home, Pinkamena
That’s an order from your commander

[Pinkie]
Mam—

[Celestia]
Go home

That Would Be Enough

[Fluttershy]
Look around, look around at how lucky we are
To be alive right now
Look around, look around…

[Pinkie]
How long have you known?

[Fluttershy]
A month or so

[Pinkie]
Flutter, you should have told me

[Fluttershy]
I wrote to the General a month ago

[Pinkie]
No

[Fluttershy]
I begged him to send you home

[Pinkie]
You should have told me

[Fluttershy]
I’m not sorry
I knew you’d fight
Until the war was won

But you deserve a chance to meet your son
Look around, look around at how lucky we are
To be alive right now.
[Pinkie]
The war’s not
Done.

[Pinkie]
Will you relish being a poor mare’s wife
Unable to provide for your life?

[Fluttershy]
I relish being your wife
Look around, look around…

Look at where you are
Look at where you started
The fact that you’re alive is a miracle
Just stay alive, that would be enough

And if this child
Shares a fraction of your smile
Or a fragment of your mind, look out world!
That would be enough

I don’t pretend to know
The challenges you’re facing
The worlds you keep erasing and creating in your mind

But I’m not afraid
I know who I married
So long as you come home at the end of the day
That would be enough

We don’t need a legacy
We don’t need money
If I could grant you peace of mind
If you could let me inside your heart…

Oh, let me be a part of the narrative
In the story they will write someday
Let this moment be the first chapter:
Where you decide to stay
And I could be enough
And we could be enough
That would be enough

Guns And Ships

[Twilight]
How does a ragtag volunteer army in need of a shower
Somehow defeat a global superpower?
How do we emerge victorious from the quagmire?
Leave the battlefield waving Equestria’s flag higher?
Yo. Turns out we have a secret weapon!
An immigrant you know and love who’s unafraid to step in!
She’s constantly confusin’, confoundin’ Sombra's henchmen
Ev’ryone give it up for Equestria’s favorite fighting Zebraic!

[COMPANY]
Zecora!

[Zecora]
I’m takin my fate by the reins makin’
Redcoats redder with bloodstains

[COMPANY]
Zecora!

[Zecora]
And I’m never gonna stop until I make ‘em
Drop and burn ‘em up and scatter their remains, I’m

[COMPANY]
Zecora!

[Zecora]
Watch me engagin’ em! Escapin’ em!
Enragin’ em! I’m—

[COMPANY]
Zecora!

[Zecora]
I go to Prance for more funds

[COMPANY]
Zecora!

[Zecora]
I come back with more

[Zecora AND ENSEMBLE]
Guns
And ships
And so the balance shifts

[Celestia]
We rendezvous with Rochambeau, consolidate their gifts

[Zecora]
We can end this war at Yorktown, cut them off at sea, but
For this to succeed, there is someone else we need:

[Celestia]
I know

[Celestia AND COMPANY]
Pinkie!

[Zecora]
Mam, she knows what to do in a trench
Ingenuitive and fluent in French, I mean—

[Celestia AND COMPANY]
Pinkie!

[Zecora]
Mam, you’re gonna have to use her eventually
What’s she gonna do on the bench? I mean—

[Celestia AND COMPANY]
Pinkie!

[Zecora]
No one has more resilience
Or matches my practical tactical brilliance—

[Celestia AND COMPANY]
Pinkie!

[Zecora]
You wanna fight for your land back?

[Celestia]
I need my right hoof mare back!

[Zecora]
Ah! Uh, get ya right hoof mare back
You know you gotta get ya right hoof mare back

I mean you gotta put some thought into the letter but the sooner the better
To get your right hoof mare back!

[COMPANY]
Pinkie!

[WOMEN]
Pinkie!

Pinkie!

Pinkie, Pinkie!
Pi— Pi—!

[MEN]
Get your right hoof mare back!

Your right hoof mare back!

Pinkie!
Pi—
Pi—

Pinkie, Pinkie!
Pi— Pi—!

[Celestia]
Pinkamena Diane Pie
Troops are waiting in the field for you
If you join us right now, together we can turn the tide
Oh, Pinkamena Diane Pie
I have soldiers that will yield for you
If we manage to get this right
They’ll surrender by early light
The world will never be the same, Pinkamena…

Twilight Sparkle, Mam?

[COMPANY]
1776. Neigh York City

[Pinkie ]
Pardon me. Are you Twilight Sparkle, mam?

[Twilight]
That depends. Who’s asking?

[Pinkie]
Oh, well, okay, mam
I’m Pinkamena Diane Pie, I’m at your service, mam
I have been looking for you

[Twilight]
I’m getting nervous

[Pinkie]
Mam…
I heard your name at Pranceton. I was seeking an accelerated course of study when I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours. I may have punched him. It’s a blur, mam. He handles the financials?

[Twilight]
You punched Blueblood

[Pinkie]
Yes!
I wanted to do what you did. Graduate in two, then join the revolution. He looked at me like I was stupid, I’m not stupid

So how’d you do it? How’d you graduate so fast?

[Twilight]
It was my parents’ dying wish before they passed

[Pinkie]
You’re an orphan. Of course! I’m an orphan
God, I wish there was a war!
Then we could prove that we’re worth more
Than anyone bargained for…

[Twilight]
Can I buy you a drink?

[Pinkie]
That would be nice

[Twilight]
While we’re talking, let me offer you some free advice
Talk less

[Pinkie]
What?

[Twilight]
Smile more

[Pinkie]
Ha

[Twilight]
Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for

[Pinkie]
You can’t be serious

[Twilight]
You wanna get ahead?

[Pinkie]
Yes

[Twilight]
Foals who run their mouths off wind up dead

[Spike]
Yo yo yo yo yo!
What time is it?

[Spike/Zecora/Rainbow Dash]
Show time!

[Twilight]
Like I said…

[Spike]
Show time! Show time! Yo!
I’m Spike in the place to be!
Two pints o’ Sam Adams, but I’m workin’ on three, uh!
Those crystal warriors don’t want it with me!
Cuz I will pop chick-a pop these cops till I’m free!

[Zecora]
Oui oui, mon ami, je m’appelle Zecora!
The Lancelot of the revolutionary set!
I came from afar just to say “Bonsoir!”
Tell King Sombra “Casse toi!” Who’s the best?
C’est moi!

[Rainbow Dash]
Brrrah brraaah! I am Rainbow Dash
Up in it, lovin’ it, yes I heard ya mother said “Come again?”

[Spike & Zecora]
Ayyyyy

[Rainbow Dash]
Lock up ya sons and chimps, of course
It’s hard to have intercourse only two sets of corsets…

[Zecora]
Wow

[Spike]
No more sex, pour me another brew, son!
Let’s raise a couple more…

[Spike/Zecora/Rainbow Dash]
To the revolution!

[Spike]
Well, if it ain’t the prodigy of Pranceton college!

[Rainbow Dash]
Twilight Sparkle!

[Spike]
Give us a verse, drop some knowledge!

[Twilight]
Good luck with that: you’re takin’ a stand
You spit. I’m ‘a sit. We’ll see where we land

[Zecora/]
Boooo!

[Spike]
Twily, the revolution’s imminent. What do you stall for?

[Pinkie]
If you stand for nothing, Twily, what’ll you fall for?

[Spike/Zecora/Rainbow Dash]
Ooh
Who you?
Who you?
Who are you?

[Spike/Zecora/Rainbow Dash]
Ooh, who is this kid? What’s she gonna do?

The Schulyr Sisters

[Twilight]
There’s nothing rich folks love more
Than going downtown and slummin’ it with the poor
They pull up in their carriages and gawk
At the students in the common
Just to watch them talk
Take Philip Schuyler: the man is loaded
Uh-oh, but little does he know that
His daughters, Sweetie Belle, Rarity, Fluttershy
Sneak into the city just to watch all the guys at—

[COMPANY]
Work, work!

[Rarity]
Rarity!

[COMPANY]
Work, work!

[Fluttershy]
Fluttershy!

[Sweetie]
And Sweetie!

[COMPANY]
Work, work!
The Schuyler sisters!

[Rarity!]
Rarity!!

[Sweetie]
Sweetie!

[Fluttershy]
Fluttershy!

[COMPANY]
Work!

[Sweetie]
Daddy said to be home by sundown

[Rarity!]
Daddy doesn’t need to know

[Sweetie]
Daddy said not to go downtown

[Fluttershy]
Like I said, you’re free to go

[Rarity]
But—look around, look around, the
Revolution’s happening in Neigh York

[Fluttershy/Sweetie]
New York

[COMPANY]
Rarity

[SCHUYLER SISTERS AND COMPANY]
Work!

[Sweetie]
It’s bad enough daddy wants to go to war

[Fluttershy]
Ponies shouting in the square

[Sweetie]
It’s bad enough there’ll be violence on our shore

[Rarity]
New ideas in the air

[Rarity AND MALE ENSEMBLE]
Look around, look around—

[Fluttershy]
Rarity, remind me what we’re looking for…

[ALL MEN]
She’s lookin’ for me!

[Rarity]
Darling, I’m lookin’ for a mind at work
I’m lookin’ for a mind at work!
I’m lookin’ for a mind at work!
Whooaaaaa!

[Fluttershy/RaritySweetie]
Whooaaaaa!
Work!

[COMPANY]
Work, work!

Work, work!
Work, work!

Work!

[Twilight]
Wooh! There’s nothin’ like summer in the city
Someone in a rush next to someone lookin’ pretty
Excuse me, miss, I know it’s not funny
But your perfume smells like your daddy’s got money
Why you slummin’ in the city in your fancy heels
You searchin for an urchin who can give you ideals?

[Rarity]
Twi, you disgust me

[Twilight]
Ah, so you’ve discussed me
I’m a trust fund, baby, you can trust me!

[Rarity]
I’ve been reading Common Sense by Thomas Paine
So men say that I’m intense or I’m insane
You want a revolution? I want a revelation
So listen to my declaration:

[Fluttershy/Rarity/Sweetie]
“We hold these truths to be self-evident
That all men are created equal”

[Rarity]
And when I meet Gilda Griffinclaw

[COMPANY]
Unh!

[Rarity]
I’m ‘a compel her to include mares in the sequel!

[Mares]
Work!

[Fluttershy]
Look around, look around at how
Lucky we are to be alive right now!

[Fluttershy/Sweetie]
Look around, look around at how
Lucky we are to be alive right now!

[Fluttershy/Rarity/Sweetie]
History is happening in Manehattan and we just happen to be
In the greatest city in the world!

[SCHUYLER SISTERS AND COMPANY]
In the greatest city in the world!

[Rarity]
Cuz I’ve been reading Common Sense by Thomas Paine
So men say that I’m intense or I’m insane

You want a revolution?
I want a revelation

So listen to my declaration:

[Rarity/Fluttershy/Sweetie]
We hold these truths to be self evident that all men are created equal
Whoo!

[Fluttershy/Sweetie]
Look around, look around

The revolution’s happening in—

[Fluttershy/Sweetie]
Neigh York!

In Neigh York!

[FEMALE ENSEMBLE]
Look around
Look around

At how lucky we are to be alive right now [MEN]
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

[WOMEN]
Look around, look around the revolution’s happening

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey!

[FULL COMPANY]
Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now!
History is happening in Manehattan and we just happen to be

[ALL WOMEN]
In the greatest city in the world

[ALL MEN]
In the greatest city—

[COMPANY]
In the greatest city in the world!

[COMPANY]
Work, work!

Work, work!

Work, work!

Work, work!
Work, work!

Work, work!

Work, work!

[COMPANY]
Work, work!
Work, work!

Work, work!
[Rarity]
Rarity!

[Fluttershy]
Fluttershy!

[Sweetie]
And Sweetie!

[Rarity/Fluttershy/Sweetie]
The Schuyler sisters!

We’re looking for a mind at work!
Hey!

Hey!

[Rarity]
Whoa!

In the greatest
City in the world

[Fluttershy/Sweetie]
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
In the greatest

City in the world

You'll be Back

[King Sombra]

You say
The price of my love’s not a price that you’re willing to pay
You cry
In your tea which you hurl in the sea when you see me go by
Why so sad?
Remember we made an arrangement when you went away
Now you’re making me mad
Remember, despite our estrangement, I’m your man
You’ll be back, soon you’ll see
You’ll remember you belong to me
You’ll be back, time will tell
You’ll remember that I served you well

Oceans rise, empires fall
We have seen each other through it all
And when push comes to shove
I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love!
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da ya da!
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da…
You say our love is draining and you can’t go on
You’ll be the one complaining when I am gone...

And no, don’t change the subject
Cuz you’re my favorite subject
My sweet, submissive subject
My loyal, royal subject
Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever…
You’ll be back like before
I will fight the fight and win the war
For your love, for your praise
And I’ll love you till my dying days
When you’re gone, I’ll go mad
So don’t throw away this thing we had
Cuz when push comes to shove
I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da

Da da dat dat da ya da!
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat—
Everybody!

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da ya da!
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da da da da
Dat dat da ya da!

Wait For It

[Twilight]
Flash writes me a letter every day
I'm keeping the bed warm while his wife is away
She's on the British side in Georgia
She's trying to keep the colonies in line
But she can keep all of Georgia
Flash, she's mine

Love doesn't discriminate
Between the sinners
And the saints
It takes and it takes and it takes
And we keep loving anyway
We laugh and we cry
And we break
And we make our mistakes
And if there's a reason I'm by his side
When so many have tried
Then I'm willing to wait for it
I'm willing to wait for it

My grandfather was a fire and brimstone preacher

But there are things that the
Homilies and hymns won't teach ya

My mother was a genius

My father commanded respect

When they died they left no instructions
Just a legacy to protect

[MEN]
Preacher, preacher
Preacher

Teach ya, teach ya, teach ya

Respect, respect

[WOMEN]
Genius
[Twilight/ENSEMBLE]
Death doesn’t discriminate
Between the sinners
And the saints
It takes and it takes and it takes
And we keep living anyway
We rise and we fall
And we break
And we make our mistakes
And if there’s a reason I’m still alive
When everyone who loves me has died
I’m willing to wait for it
I’m willing to wait for it

Wait for it

[ENSEMBLE]
Wait for it
Wait for it
Wait for it

[Twilight]
I am the one thing in life I can control

[ENSEMBLE]
Wait for it
Wait for it
Wait for it
Wait for it

[Twilight]
I am inimitable
I am an original

[ENSEMBLE]
Wait for it
Wait for it
Wait for it
Wait for it

[Twilight]
I’m not falling behind or running late

[ENSEMBLE]
Wait for it
Wait for it
Wait for it
Wait for it

[Twilight]
I’m not standing still
I am lying in wait

[ENSEMBLE]
Wait
Wait
Wait

[Twilight]
Pinkie faces an endless uphill climb

[ENSEMBLE]
Climb
Climb
Climb

[Twilight]
She has something to prove
She has nothing to lose

[ENSEMBLE]
Lose
Lose
Lose
Lose

[Twilight]
Pinkie’s pace is relentless
She wastes no time

[ENSEMBLE]
Time
Time
Time

[Twilight]
What is it like in her hooves?

Pinkie doesn’t hesitate
She exhibits no restraint
She takes and she takes and she takes
And she keeps winning anyway
She changes the game
She plays and he raises the stakes
And if there’s a reason
She seems to thrive when so few survive, then Goddamnit—

[Twilight]
I'm willing to wait for it

I'm willing to wait for it...

Life doesn't discriminate
Between the sinners and the saints
It takes and it takes and it takes

We rise
We fall

And if there's a reason I'm still alive
When so many have died
Then I'm willin' to—

[COMPANY]
I'm willing to wait for it
Wait for it
Wait for...
I'm willing to—

Life doesn't discriminate
Between the sinners and the saints
It takes and it takes and it takes
And we keep living anyway
We rise and we fall and we break
And we make our mistakes
And if there's a reason I'm still alive
When so many have died
Then I'm willin' to—

[Twilight]
Wait for it...

Wait for it...
[WOMEN]
Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

[MEN]
Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Wait...