Birbs

Just like any normal morning, Fluttershy awoke to the pleasant chirping and warbling of birds and squirrels outside her quaint woodland cottage. Today was cleaning day, and Fluttershy leapt from her bed with an energy that had suggested she’d been awake for hours. Soaring down the stairs, she scooped up the broom and dustpan that sat inside her kitchen, already sweeping and humming away at a merry tune.

Her other woodland critters also sprung into action, grabbing rags, buckets of soapy water, feather dusters, and brushes, and assisted her both in work and song. Meanwhile, a lone cockatiel wandered about on the floor, quaintly squawking at the hustle and bustle. Fluttershy couldn’t help but noticed the poor frightened creature, quickly flying down the floor and putting her face down to its level.

“Oh, my,” she said with squeaky sincerity, “I don’t think I’ve met you before. Here…” She flew back upstairs and just as quickly returned, setting down a small toothbrush before its feet on the floor. “There you go, Mr. Birb– I mean, Mr. Birdy. Whoops. Slip of the tongue, I suppose!”

Fluttershy giggled to herself at her Freudian slip and returned to the flow and current of cleanliness with all of her other animal friends. The birb picked up the toothbrush by the bristles and with two jerks of its head, swung the toothbrush over its head and into the ground beside it. The birb dropped the toothbrush, and continued gazing upon the other animals around it. Suddenly, it came up with a little ditty of its own.

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Rainbow Dash flew down to where rising smoke billowed up from. Looking around, she could almost swear that Fluttershy’s home was down there, but in its place was just smoke and more smoke. She didn’t even think to make the connection of whose large, pony-sized body paramedics were wheeling down to the Clydesdale-drawn ambulance.

There’s no way that could have been Fluttershy’s home that would have gotten destroyed, and there was definitely no way Fluttershy was beneath the white sheets that started to bleed through from the top with red.

But she had to take a look, and she began to gallop to the stretcher.

“Ma’am!” shouted one female paramedic. “Don’t–”

Rainbow Dash only needed to lift the sheets up a few inches to see the bright-yellow wings that belonged to her dear friend drape over the edge where she laid.

“No…” Rainbow Dash lost feeling in her legs as she stumbled back onto her butt. “No, no, no! Flutters…”

The stallion paramedic saw her trying to crawl back to her friend’s corpse, leaving his mate by herself. “Miss! You can’t… I’m sorry!” As he restrained her, the fight he felt in her became tremendous.

“No!” Rainbow Dash was now wailing and her eyes cascaded with tears. “No, she can’t… No, please, doc!”

The sight of the stretcher getting slid inside the carriage was Rainbow Dash’s final straw of hope, and with that, she all but melted in his arms and wept like a newborn foal.

Gone so soon. So unfair.

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The mortician unzipped the bag, showing Fluttershy to Rainbow Dash and her other five friends for them all to see. What really peeved them, Rainbow Dash especially, wasn’t her face. In fact they were rather surprised how relatively untouched Fluttershy’s head was, minus some scratches, a portion of mane burnt off, and a sizable laceration on the side of her neck.

What brought them close to retching on the tile floors was the circular section that looked to be blown of Fluttershy’s torso and stomach. Her left foreleg and wings were gone, and within the radius of her mortal wound that traced itself from where the neck met the shoulder down to the left side of her waste was a stringy, sinewy mess of muscle and entrails left black from the explosion.

“No…” Rarity whimpered, holding a neckerchief to her mouth. “Our sweet Fluttershy…”

Applejack met Rarity and gave her as tight and consoling a hug as she could, allowing the both of them to cry.

“Who…” Twilight managed to speak up. “Who could have done this?”

“We’re completely unsure,” the doctor standing beside the moritician said. “When we arrived at the house, we found the bodies of countless animals scattered along the ground.” The doctor took a brief pause upon hearing Rainbow Dash retch in the back. “However, one creature did manage to survive the explosion.”

Twilight and the others turned to the doctor, unsure if what he said was true or even possible.

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Twilight was led into an office by the doctor, and upon turning on the lights, she saw the cockatiel in a small cage who toot-dooted in complete ambivalence to its crimes.

Twilight couldn’t help but feel sympathy for the poor creature as she put her face near its cage. “Poor birbo.” Twilight backed away and gazing upwards, unsure with what she had just called the birb.

“Is something wrong?” The doctor came into the room, puzzled by Twilight’s reaction.

“Oh, it’s nothing, doctor. Just… I don’t–”

“Apple Bloom? Apple Bloom!” Applejack’s frantic voice broke Twilight from her trance, about to run out of the room before a stretcher whizzed past her with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo galloping beside it, Applejack chasing it from behind.

From just over Applejack’s head, Twilight could see Apple Bloom sprawled onto the stretcher, her body bruised and swollen, and her left back leg mangled and crushed. Twilight galloped to follow them, weaving through the labyrinthine walls until she saw Applejack and Apple Bloom’s friends ushered away from the room Apple Bloom was wheeled into.

“Applejack!” Twilight skidded to a halt just inches from them. “Girls! What’s wrong! What happened to Apple Bloom!”

It was terrible, Twilight!” Scootaloo whined on the verge of tears.

“Did a monster attack you?”

“That’s just it,” Sweetie Belle was nigh incomprehensible through her sobs. “It wasn’t a monster at all. At least, we thought it wasn’t.”

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The Cutie Mark Crusaders were playing in their clubhouse with not so much as a care in the world. As they ran and leapt about, they suddenly heard the frighteningly deafening and unmistakable sound of a tree being felled, although it sounded as if the tree was chopped into pieces before toppling.

“What in tarnation is that?” Apple Bloom went to the window along with her friends, looking out into the forest to see what they had heard.

A tree had fallen, and as perplexing as it was, the trunk and several of the thicker branches had been cut into perfectly smooth cylinders that not even the greatest or strongest lumberjack could accomplish.

“How did that happen?” Scootaloo wondered aloud.

Just then, waddling around the remains of the felled tree was a cockatoo with its crest feathers raised intensely. The girls were unsure whether to find the sight of the fluffy boy cute or worrisome, but they continued to watch as the borb stood at the base of yet another tree, looking up it like the imposing monument of nature that it was.

Putting its foot onto the bark, the birb gave the tree a gentle push, horrifying the girls to see the tree topple over like the last one with the trunk having impossibly cut off into perfect cylinders.

There was no telling what this thing was capable of. Even with the very likely chance of escape, the fillies were frozen solid and watched as the birb walked toward one of the sideways disks and grab hold of it by the bark with its talons. With absolutely no strain or sign of effort, the birb gently lifted the piece of tree up and set it down just as gently right side up.

Birb attacks CMC Headquarters (1973, colourized)

The fluffo birb then picked up another cylinder and held it up to its birb lips and he make a screm that do a ( ( S H A K E ) ) threw out the tree leafs. The snow chicken did Cutee Mark Crusade Gurls a frighten and they also screm but not as loud.

“What’s going on!” Apple Bloom cried. “What’s up with that boi?”

The cockatoo turned its head toward the direction of the treehouse, slowly putting down the trunk disk it had made. It then waddled its cute birbo butt over, its crest feathers splayed out even harder with the sight of a building perched in the branches.

The tree had to be ( ( P U N I S H ) )

The white fluffy boi kick the tree real good and it fell down like the rest of the trees, and it just stood there as tree went down and tree house broke with rest of tree. Ignoring screms of fillies inside the ruined treehouse cut short by the ground breaking their fall, the cockatoo stamped away to do more destroy. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle pulled themselves from the rubble first, not even wanting to see mr. thicc in fear he may return.

Scootaloo began to worry that her other friend was not rising out from the wreckage. “Apple Bloom! Apple Bloom, can you hear me?!”

Both fillies dug out the broken planks, leaves and branches until they found Apple Bloom lying bloodied and unconscious around the rest of the mess.

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“And you’re saying a birb did this?” the doctor asked, his choice of wording completely going unnoticed.

“Why is everypony calling birbs birbos?!” Twilight bellowed.

With the silly tiel baby still doot-di-dooting away in its cage, Twilight began to ( ( ( A N G E R Y ) ) ).

“Will you shut up!” Twilight charged her horn and fired a spell, which became an healthy broccoli and struck the cage, and the birb flapped about all scarebd.

Once the danger of rocky cage and healthy food had passed, the tiel then go ( ( SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Noisy birbo made the ponies leave the room, and they had to leave the hospital because birb screch was 2 loud. With Twilight’s friends, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and the doctors now outside, suddenly, a red macaw plopped right on Applejack's

A flutey fanfare began to rise over the hill, and the strawberry alarm clock do a

DAAAAAANCE
TOOOOOOOO
THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS
BEEEEEEEAAT

Let's get these teen hearts beating
Faster, faster

All the poines looked to that direction, deeply unnerved by the sight of what was heading right for their quaint little town.

There were too many birb. All Rainbow Dash could say was the following:

“Anypony got any seed?”