Learn to Fly

Tree Hugger kissed Fluttershy awake. Fluttershy glanced towards her other side — it was cold and empty. She forced herself not to ask where Rainbow was. She also forced herself not to cry. Tree Hugger made her breakfast and then they took a bath together, which was fun.

But the whole morning, she kept thinking about Rainbow. Every time she had a free moment, she found herself coming back to her. Tree Hugger seemed like a wonderful pony. She was thoughtful, strong and kind. Sure, she followed a weird, old religion, but the Old Ways had toned down a lot since paleopony times. At least they didn’t do pony sacrifice any more. All in all, she’d make a good marefriend. On the other hoof, all the evidence so far was that Rainbow would make a terrible marefriend. But. Well. Her feelings were her feelings, weren’t they? Even if they didn’t make any sense.

Fluttershy’s therapist in Cloudsdale had taught her that when bad thoughts got to be too much, she should find something else to focus on. Luckily she was going to see Posey that afternoon. Fluttershy wondered what kinds of animals lived with her. There were so many kinds she’d never seen before! Speculating about that kept her sane and focused through the morning of farm work, as well as the long walk to the edge of the Everfree. She started to get nervous as the canopy of the forest came into view. That was silly of her. The creatures that lived there were just animals. Cockatrice were animals. Ursa were animals. Manticores were animals. Timber wolves were actually a kind of fungus, but animals for all practical purposes. And she loved animals. Even the terrifying ones.

As Fluttershy walked closer, she saw a narrow plume of chimney smoke rising over the forest. She walked towards that and soon Posey’s cottage came into view. It was a tree! It was actually grown out of a tree! Or maybe a clump of trees. Yellow trunks had twisted together to form the sides, growing around arched windows and a charming little door. The roof was made of leaves, and Fluttershy could see small animals moving through them, and birds flying in and out. Birds and animals made it their home! She leapt into the air and glided the last hundred yards to the door. As she grew closer, she could smell all kinds of animals. Birds fluttered around her, flanking her as she flew in, bunnies raised their heads from the grass, ears alert, and squirrels peeked out from the roof.

She landed outside the door. Here came the scary part. She raised her hoof to knock on the door, and held it there. Posey. What was she like? Rude, mean, and into animals. Did number three really cancel out numbers one and two? Was she really somepony Fluttershy wanted to know?

Her hoof was still hovering in place when Posey opened the door. Fluttershy danced back a few steps. How had she… Oh. The animals had told her she was here. Of course.

“It’s you. You’re early. Come in.” Posey turned around and walked back into the cottage. She was smoking one of those nasty cigarettes. The stink filled the inside of the cottage, drowning out the smell of the animals. Fluttershy followed her inside. The floorboards were made of roots, and the ceiling made of branches. A female bear hulked in one side of the main room, nursing her cub. Posey told Fluttershy to sit next to the table in the middle of the room, and went to make tea. Angel and his mother climbed up to the table, and she sniffed noses with them.

“There’s honey,” said Posey, after she set down the tea tray with her mouth. “Bourbon, too. I hope you don’t like cream, because I’m out.”

“Just tea, please,” said Fluttershy. After her last experience drinking, she did not want to touch the bourbon. She’d probably wake up in bed with Posey the next morning if she did.

“So. You can talk to animals.” Said Posey, pouring two cups and climbing into her chair. She added a shot to hers.

“Ever since I got my cutie mark, yes.” Fluttershy nodded at the bunnies. “They say their family has lived here since Equestria was made.” Angel was helping himself to some honey, to his mother’s embarrassed consternation.

Posey nodded. “Their warren was living in this hill when the cottage was grown. They’ve served every Guardian who’s lived here.”

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. “Guardian? Is that you?”

“Yes. The Guardian of the Everfree.”

“So… you’re here to protect ponies from the forest?”

Posey laughed, then started to cough. She pulled out a handkerchief, and held it to her mouth until the fit passed. When she took the handkerchief away, Fluttershy noticed there was red on it. “No. I’m here to protect the forest from the ponies.”

“Oh. That makes more sense,” said Fluttershy.

And so they talked. She felt anxious around a new pony, but though Posey was very gruff, Fluttershy still found it easy to talk to her. Perhaps it was because Posey asked her many questions about animals. She seemed to want to know everything Fluttershy knew, from the diet of the cabbage vole to the mating habits of the giant albino arctic penguin. And Fluttershy was so happy to tell her! Even Rainbow and her parents got glassy-eyed when she started talking about this stuff. But Posey was interested. She was quick to tell Fluttershy where her books were wrong, and to add her own wisdom, and Fluttershy was happy to learn. After they’d talked for a couple of hours, it was time for afternoon feeding, and Fluttershy helped. Posey had an array of kennels, hutches and paddocks out back, and dozens of bird houses. While she was feeding the resident animals, more came out from the woods and the roof of the house. They got food, too. It was hard work, harder than helping on Tree Hugger’s farm. But Fluttershy felt light, like she might float away without using her wings.

That feeling lasted until they went back inside. Posey made Fluttershy sit back down, and pulled a clipboard with a form on it out of a cabinet. “So. Let’s see. There’s no reason we have to do this in any particular order.” She flipped to one of the last pages, and looked up at Fluttershy. “If you were a tree, what type of tree would you be?”

Fluttershy blinked. “Um… I don’t know that much about trees. But I’d like to be a tree!”

Posey climbed up onto the couch. “I’ll put birch, then. They like birch.” She flipped back to the front. “What does customer service mean to you?”

Fluttershy’s heart stopped. “Is this a job interview?”

Posey rolled her eyes. “I didn’t ask you up here for a social call.”

“Oh,” said Fluttershy. Her heart began to beat again, fast. She began to take inventory of the exits. She had not come prepared for a job interview. She wasn’t even wearing a nice dress!

Pose tossed the clipboard to the side. “I can fill that out later.” She lit a cigarette. “There’s a government stipend attached to the position. Being chosen by Equus is nice, but it doesn’t pay the water bill.”

“Why me?” stammered Fluttershy.

Posey rolled her eyes. “Not for your spinelessness and lack of self confidence, that’s for sure. And don’t you dare cry. I’ve been praying for a pony with a connection with animals, who actually knows something about them, and is responsible enough to work alone. I can get two out of three, at best. Equus has finally seen fit to drop such a pony in front of me. Mind you, you’re lacking certain other qualities I’d like, but I’m not in a position to be picky.”

Fluttershy gulped. “How… Um, I don’t mean to be rude, but how long…”

“Six months, maybe,” said Posey. She pulled the clip board back over. “So. Are you eighteen years of age or older?”

“Yes.”

Posey checked off a box. “Legal to work in Equestria?”

“Yes.”

“Criminal record?”

“What? No!”

“High school or equivalent diploma?”

Fluttershy’s stomach sank. “I’m playing hooky from flight school right now. I mean, nopony really cares what the seniors do after finals, but…”

“But what?” said Posey.

“But I can’t pass my flight test. We have to fly through a kilometer of open sky, and I just can’t.”

Posey wrinkled up her nose. She took a drag off her cigarette, and blew out the smoke. “You can’t? You’re a pegasus. How can you not fly?”

Fluttershy hunched down in her chair. “I’m too scared.”

Posey snorted. “Okay. That’s it. There are other ways to get a high school diploma, but I’ve made up my mind. If you pass that test, the job is yours. If you’re not brave enough to do the main thing your tribe is known for… well, then you’re not brave enough to live in this house.”

Fluttershy blinked. At first she hadn’t known she was here about a job. And then she hadn’t known she wanted it. Until it was denied her. Now she wanted it more than anything else in the world, and she was peeved. Though she didn’t dare say that out loud. “But… I wouldn’t have to fly to do the job. And… anyway, who else are you going to get to do it?” She found her wings had fluffed out a little. She had that ‘running towards’ feeling that she’d had the night before, again. “If you don’t mind my asking.”

Posey laughed. “Oh, you do have a little bit of spine! You know what though? I don’t care. If Equus wants to ignore my prayers until it’s almost too late, fine. She can clean up the mess when I die.”

“But… your animals.”

Posey shrugged. “I won’t care. I’ll be dead. That’s one of the advantages of being dead; you don’t have to give a shit any more.”

✭☆✭☆✭☆✭

Two days after the Founders Day dance, Rainbow Dash woke up in Pinkie Pie’s bed with a throbbing headache. Pinkie Pie was nowhere to be seen. She peeled the sheets off of herself — they were stuck to her coat with something brown. She dabbled a hoof into it, and sniffed. Chocolate. Whew. She put one hoof off the bed and onto the floor, and was rewarded with a loud squawk. Rainbow leapt up into the air and dove back under the sheets then peeked out again. The floor was a minefield of whoopee cushions, rubber chickens, fast food wrappers, liquor bottles, sex toys, and comedy magazines.

Rainbow’s coat prickled with disgust. Pinkie was a slob!

She felt something poke her in the side. She slid a hoof down towards the spot, afraid she’d encounter feelers or a rat’s tail. Instead, she peeled off a folded, rectangular piece of paper.

Last night was (chocolate smudge) FUN! At least I think it was. Sorry we had sex when you were drunk, but I was really drunk too [sic]. Or I think I was? I don’t remember anything after (large chocolate smudge) and I hope the hedgehog is all right. Anyway, I have to get up early for work. Help yourself to (chocolate stain) and there’s a bathroom at the end of the hall. You’ll probably want to wash up. Could you meet me downstairs after? I don’t really get it, but a lot of ponies get weird about sex, so (massive chocolate stain) the anal beads, but anyway I’m out of paper now, so (large drawing of a heart).

Rainbow groaned. This was going to be awkward. She peeked out Pinkie’s bedroom door, made sure the coast was clear, then bolted for what she hoped was the bathroom door at near-rainboom velocities. No. That was another bedroom. With a queen sized bed full of sex toys and bondage equipment. The Cake's bedroom. She did not need to know that about them. She got it right on the next try, heated herself a bath, and washed the chocolate off as quickly as she could.

When she got downstairs, Sugarcube Corner was quiet. Rainbow glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost noon. She’d slept pretty late.

Pinkie smiled and waved from behind the counter. “Mrs. Cake, can I take my break now, please?”

Mrs. Cake poked her head out of the kitchen door. “I should be fine, sweetie. You go talk. Take your time.”

Pinkie got them coffee and pecan rolls, and they sat down at a table in the back corner. “Sooooo,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “how’s Rainbow?” And she waited.

Rainbow blinked. “You’re going to let me talk?”

“This is important. I’m not a machine. I can turn it off. But we had sex. For me, like, sex is just a fun thing? Like eating a pecan roll — and by the way you should eat yours while it’s warm. They are sooo good when they’re warm! All buttery and melty! But anyway, my family’s Old Ways. I mean, not just Hearth’s Warming and Summer Sun Old Ways like most ponies are around here, but serious Old Ways; like an orgy on my sixteenth birthday and every weekend ever since. And you would never imagine how tedious orgies can be if you have to do one every week so the stallions can spill their seed upon the ground and appease Equus’ wrath. But a lot of ponies fall in love from sex, and build their whole lives around being somepony’s special somepony, and I’m starting to worry that having sex with all my friends is going to confuse them. Because I love my friends? I love them. I already even love you and Fluttershy. I give my heart really easily, and I bet you never would have guessed, right? But I want to be there for everypony, and I’m not ruling out foals but I’m not sure I could ever get married. It’s just too limiting. Anyway, my pecan roll is getting cold, so talk.”

Rainbow watched Pinkie as she dove muzzle-first into her pecan roll. Just like she’d dove muzzle first into… well, anyway. She took a deep breath. “Nah, it’s cool. I mean… I had this one friend, Gilda. Oh my gosh, she was so cool. Like, she was an asshole, but she was a fun asshole, you know?”

“Assholes can be a lot of fun.” said Pinkie with a knowing smirk.

“Yeah, well, we went to Junior Speedster’s camp together every year for, like, a decade. Man, this one time we had this total jerk of a counselor, Letter Of The Law. Like, military corners on all the bunk beds, lights out at exactly 20:35 every night, total jerk. He sent this kid, Malt Ball, home early for sneaking food from the cafeteria to eat at night, and… I mean, it was kind of gross that Malt Ball did that every night, and he was kind of a porker. But that still wasn’t cool. So the next night Gilda and I snuck up to his bunk and clipped his flight feathers while he was asleep. First thing next morning, he fell right off a cloud and almost died. It was hilarious.”

Pinkie snorted into her coffee. “Good one!”

“But then…” Rainbow sighed. “One year we started experimenting, you know? It was a big joke, at first — look at us butch lesbians. And it was fun. But then she started to change. She got all possessive. And since she knew I was bi — I knew that from a pretty early age. I’ve always been proud of it. But because I’m super bi, she got possessive around everypony. Like, I couldn’t be alone with my other friends without her getting paranoid. Where was I going. What was I doing? Why was I spending so much time around that pony? Why was I looking at this other pony’s butt? Was her butt too flat?” Rainbow Dash pounded her head on the table. The coffee cups clattered and splashed. “I could not fucking stand it! We fought, she wasn’t at flight camp the next summer, and I haven’t seen her in three years.”

Pinkie sniffled. “Oh, that’s so sad!” Tears started to roll down her face.

Rainbow felt like she had something stuck in her throat. She was trying to keep a stiff upper lip, but Pinkie’s waterworks weren’t helping. “And Fluttershy’s really special to me, but I’ve been avoiding telling her that because I was afraid the same thing would happen when we had sex! And now we have! I’ve fucked everything up...”

“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, you have to tell her though! I mean, you and her and Tree Hugger all had sex, right?” Pinkie was bouncing up and down in her seat, now, tears already forgotten.

Rainbow nodded, eyeing Pinkie warily. “Yeah…”

“Well you have to tell her! Or Tree Hugger might become her special somepony, right? And I’m totally team Flutterdash. Or maybe you could form a ponyamorous threesome? You three are every lesbian stereotype ever between the three of you, so that would be pretty cute. I totally ship all my friends. I just like to imagine what they’d be like as couples because even if I’m not into romance, it’s still pretty cool when it happens to other ponies. Is that weird?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty weird, Pinkie,” said Rainbow. She took a big sip of coffee. It was nutty and smooth. They made good coffee here!

“Anyway, now’s the perfect time to tell Fluttershy how you feel because she just came through the door.”

Rainbow spat her mouthful of coffee out across the table.

“Do you, um, mind if I sit?” said Fluttershy.

“Oh my gosh, no!” said Pinkie Pie, while Rainbow Dash sponged up the coffee with her napkin. “Oh, so, Fluttershy. Is it cool that we had sex? I don’t want to be your special somepony. It was just casual. Does that make sense?”

Fluttershy blushed and nodded. “We can be friends. Also, it might be nice if you never mentioned it again. Not that you weren’t good. You were very good. But I’m really embarrassed that you just talked about it in public. Sorry.”

Pinkie nodded so hard her mane bounced. “Right. Sleazy, public oral with Fluttershy never happened. Got it. So, I think Rainbow has something she wants to tell you.”

Rainbow glared at Pinkie. “No. No I don’t.” She hissed.

Fluttershy looked back and forth between the two of them. “Ookaaayyy.”

“Pinkie really needs to be introduced to the concept of boundaries.” said Rainbow.

“I can see that.” said Fluttershy. She turned to Rainbow and took a deep breath. “I have something I need to ask you though.”

Rainbow’s heart rate tripled. “You do?”

“Can you to teach me to fly?”

“Oh,” said Rainbow, both relieved and disappointed. “Why the sudden change of heart? Are you ready to come home?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No. I think… I think Ponyville might be my home now. It’s too early to be sure, but I’m starting to like it here. It’s just… I got offered a job that needs a flight school diploma. But more than that, I want the whole Cloudsdale chapter of my life to be behind me.”

Rainbow Dash tried to hide how much that stung, but to judge from Fluttershy’s expression she failed.

“No, I mean, I had a lot of good times there! And I’ll always care for you and my family. I just… I don’t want the fact I never passed Flight School hanging over my head all my life. I want…. You know…”

“Closure.” said Pinkie.

“Exactly.” said Fluttershy.

Rainbow felt peevish. Oh, now she wanted help. Not when Rainbow might’ve been able to keep her in Cloudsdale. “I don’t know. Are you going to give up the first time you have a little crash, like the last time we tried?”

Fluttershy took a deep breath. Her chest fur fluffed out. “I promise not to give up. Even if I crash. I’ll be strong.” She slumped a little. “I’ll probably cry when I crash, though. Is that okay?”

Rainbow Dash sighed. Fluttershy was too damn cute. “Fine. That’s fine. I’ll help you. We can start right away, if you want.”