Chapters Hi, it's me, Princess Twilight. I remember I was working on my magic that night. I had many of my books spread all over a few of the reading tables in the Library in the Castle. Everypony else had long since gone to sleep, even those few guards that were supposed to protect the Castle, me, the rest of us. That thought made me laugh for some reason.
I had come up with the idea for this magical exercise earlier in the day while watching some poor mare walk carefully through Ponyville balancing a few large packages on her back. She was not a Unicorn and so she couldn't use magic to hold her packages steady. She was also not a Pegasus, or she could have used her wings to help keep everything a little steadier, although I... You really shouldn't use your wings for stuff like that. Flying is such a treasure, and your wings should be reserved just for that! But this Earth Pony mare, she walked very slowly, and often had to stop and move to re-balance her stack of boxes. She had to carefully feel what the boxes were doing, if they were shifting, moving... I could have easily carried the whole stack for her with my magic. I saw her coming from afar, and couldn't stop watching. It was almost painful; I was waiting for the boxes to come crashing down. At one point, she stopped to re-balance near me. "I can help you with those of you need me too" I offered politely.
She smiled and said "Yea, probably, but I'm not going far. I'm practicing doing this, because, well, I can!" She balanced onward, walking slowly, concentrating mightily to keep her boxes in place. She worked her way carefully around the corner between two houses, and was out of sight. I just stood there after she was gone, for a minute maybe, thinking.
I knew Spike was already out of patience; I had been standing, watching, for minutes. "Twilight, can we just go?" He kept saying that. Maybe I got him up too early this morning. Lack of sleep makes him grumpy, although he naps, well, all the time. At least he isn't huge yet; a huge, grumpy dragon would not be a pleasant experience! Wait, Spike? That made me laugh, too. Well, snow on the ground... Spike was probably cold. Still, deep in thought, reflecting on what I had just watched, I began to think about how I could use my magic, exercise my magic, like that, because, well, I can! I thought about this often the rest of the day, and Spike and I headed for the next, last stop on the list (lunch).
So, after everypony else was asleep, it was time to test my magic exercise. I had already pulled a good number of books from the shelves, and placed them carefully on a few tables around me. I used books by my favorite adventure writer; I love those stories! Well, the books are all the same size, which I felt might help. Don't get me wrong, I love all my books, and taking care of them is important, even for this exercise. But this is what I did. Using my magic, I picked up one of the books from the table, moved it, and held it flat, title side up, maybe a foreleg above the ground. I recognized that first book immediately as one of my favorite stories by this writer. I suddenly wanted to stop and just read! But I reached for another book. As I held the first book there, I added the second book on top of it, also title side up, but with half of the second book off the edge of the first book. The magic path that I was using to hold the books up, I had to sense that second book, and adjust my, well, holding magic to hold both books up. I reached for a third book, and placed it on top of the first book, also with roughly half of that book hanging over the edge, over the other side of the first book. I was building an up-side-down pyramid (whatever that is) with these books. And, the magic that I was using to hold the books up, well, I had to be able to sense, to feel where those books where, and hold them up too. I reached for another book, and started a third layer of books.
Well, it is difficult to concentrate on two different, well, different magical paths. I had already learned that multiple magic spells can be very tightly inter-woven and coupled (A Wing and a Prayer, chapter 1). But once cast, magic like that handles itself; the coupling takes place as you actually cast the spell, as you work through the spell details to cast it. But direct, continuous, sensitive control of two spells, at the same time... This was a hard exercise for me! And I don't know what that mare had in her boxes, but I didn't ever want to see any of my books hit the floor! Well, I was not sure what else I could use for this exercise. After I carefully added the third layer, I began to feel... My magic was working hard for this! Still, I added a fourth layer, starting from the middle and working out (10 books total!). This was hard for me, but that was why this was a magical exercise! I mean, fighting some huge magical foe, I could just blast away with everything I had. And if the weight of these books was all bound together, picking it up would be easy. But this particular magical exercise was about magical control, magical sensing. It felt just as demanding. And I started adding a fifth layer of books, starting at the center again, and working out to the... When I added the 14th book to one of the ends, I felt... The whole stack of books almost toppled, but I quickly moved the bottom holding magic to again re-balance everything, and it almost fell the other way. Back and forth, back and forth, slowly... I managed to sense, to regain control of the pile, and my precious books were saved. And, I don't know what I was thinking, but I had many more books ready and waiting on my tables! Wow, 5 rows, 15 books, I think that was my stopping point this time. That was about as much...
But this was the real test. I wanted to move this bazaar stack of my precious books around. Just like that mare, I wanted to be able to walk while holding this stack of books, sensing what I had to do, using just a single magical path, the spell holding all these books up. I had to sense exactly what this stack of books was doing, what I needed to do to keep those books, all my precious books steady, while I walked, slowly. I took a tiny step... Everything almost came crashing down again. Those books... I shifted them this way, then that way, as I frantically worked to re-establish balance. Wow, that was scary! Magically, mentally, this was also very difficult. But I did it. I took another step. I actually anticipated the motion the stack of books would go through, and so it didn't take as long to re-balance. I took another step, then rebalanced. This was a hard exercise, which made it a good exercise for me, but I was learning, growing in my ability, even from this rediculous looking stack of books! But I couldn't walk forward any further, either; there was a reading table in front of me. I had to turn. Now that... I would have to anticipate not only moving forward, but now, actually rotating... I almost chickened out right then, thinking seriously about gently leaning the stack up against the table, and putting each book safely down.
I tried to turn. I didn't turn very far at first. But... wow... The sensing, the rotating, the rebalance... It was all very intense. I mean, who would have thought... Just turning, while magically holding, sensing, balancing this huge stack of books... I turned a little more, well intentionally I turned further than the last time, which still wasn't a lot... WOW! I almost lost that stack of books, and actually had to use a second magical path, a second, concurrent spell to actually catch, steady that stack of books. But I kept them from falling.
I also noticed right then... There was a very small spot in my field of vision, towards the left, and way up high. It was small, and black maybe, and varied ever so slightly in size. I actually sat there, motionless, holding that stack of books, and watched it. I sighed, then started carefully putting the books back on the table. I wondered if I magically broke something, I didn't know. I didn't know if that was even possible. I had been... In the past, I felt I had to push my magic to the limits, fighting bad monsters, and never had this happen. Well, this magic exercise had been very demanding, very draining. I was beat. I lovingly put every single one of my beloved books back on the shelf where they belonged (one at a time), walked slowly into my room, and climbed into bed. That task, that magical exercise was so demanding that I was quickly asleep. I think I even slept in.
I awoke to Spike banging on my door. "Twilight, are you in there? Come on, your first appointment is... waiting..." I rolled over on my back, and smiled. I guess I did sleep in. It felt wonderful! Spike should be used to that by now. Looking at the white ceiling in my room... There were two small spots now. Well, I couldn't worry about that, somepony was in my Library for a magic lesson. I would jump into that! That is always so fun.
As I brushed my mane though, I remembered that tonight was the Fall Frolic, and I would be the one to light the frolic bonfire in town hall. I smiled to myself and thought "Fireball time!" Surely there had to be a spell to run fire streamers, I guess, down from a central fireball, down to the logs below, to start them on fire. I smiled then began to think through spells. And just then, a third small spot popped into my field of vision. They were all in the upper left, and didn't obstruct anything, and nothing hurt that I could tell. And I don't think, didn't feel that my magic was affected at all. Still, I thought to myself again. "Maybe I should get someone else to light the frolic bonfire tonight..." My magic lesson was with an adorable mare named Hope and was a lot of fun. She grew up in one of the big cities near Canterlot, and was certainly bruised by the experience. She... her magic was weak because her tools were so limited. But in a big city, there is a certain amount of logic in limiting, confining... Well, our time together was just a lot of fun, and I got the rest of the girls involved, including Filia and Fiona. It was just a fun afternoon. And as I worked with Hope, I began to think... Yes, I would have her light the frolic bonfire. I realized she might need a little help, but that would not be a problem. And the rest of the afternoon the girls and I relaxed with Hope. The Frolic was, well, normal, and Hope managed to light the bonfire. She did fine. We all ended up back at the Castle, in the Library, and we sacked out together there. It was just a lot of fun (CSR Princess, chapter 4).
The next day, I didn't have time to even notice those spots until the next evening. That next day was just very busy for me after all my precious friends left; I had a lot of appointments that day. Wait, I take that back. I was meeting with the Castle guard force Captain that day. That meeting is regularly scheduled. He just wanted to discuss any ideas I had about making the guard force around the Castle "more effective" was the phrase he used. I thought briefly, then said quietly "...more magic?" Maybe I was trying to hint that the Unicorns in the guard force should press onward in learning, growing their magic. That was a pretty... Two more spots popped up...
The Guard Captain said "Excuse me, what?"
I cleaned up the mess and replied "It was nothing. The guard force is doing a fine job, as always. Thank you!" Well, I didn't have time to think about those spots any more. The rest of the day blazed quickly by, including dinner with the Mayor in the Castle dining area. The next thing I knew, it was late, everypony else was asleep, and I was pulling my favorite adventure story down for a fun read. Six spots, plain as day on the blank white pages near the front of that book. All were in the upper corners, five in the left corner, one in the right. I shrugged. Nothing hurt. My magic seemed un-affected. I didn't know... I read until late, then went to bed.
The next morning, I took a count, first thing. Seven now, I realized I should probably at least research this... I had a huge library after all! And I began listing in my head some of my magic books that might address this sort of thing. Well, to make a long story short, after reviewing many volumes, and spending half a day, I had not found anything even close to this, to my spots. I put the book down, and sighed. I would need to ask... Princess Celestia. And, that was a problem. Spoke always took these messages, and I didn't want to alarm him. But, I would need him to send it... Well, right now, he was asleep under his blanket in his bed. It was here in the Library, because that was where I usually was, during the day anyway. Besides, in our old tree-house, I suggested him sleeping downstairs in the Library because his snoring... Thinking that just made me want to cry. I still miss that place... Maybe we could rebuild it...
I walked over to my desk, pulled down a piece of paper, and wrote the following letter.
"My amazing magic teacher, Princess Celestia,
While not wanting to alarm anypony, I have noticed a very few small spots in my field of vision, a few in the upper right corner, and a few more in the upper left corner. Nothing hurts, and my magic seems unaffected. I could not find anything in the books I have in the library here about this. Do you have any suggestions where I might look?
Your faithful student, Princess Twilight"
After I wrote that, I rolled it up and sealed it closed like we usually do. I knew I would need to explain... But maybe Spike being half asleep... I walked over to his bed, pulled his blanket up, and woke him up. Well, he had one eye open.
"Spike, this is private, I'm sorry, but I need it sent to Princess Celestia."
I had to get out of the way to avoid... From under his blanket, he belched out fire, and the letter was on it's way.
"Put my blanked down now, please..." He protested. "It is so cold..."
I sighed, then remembered my favorite mystery writer, pulled a book out, and opened it on the table. I didn't count spots; I just started reading. I didn't read very long. Spike propped his blanket up some, belched a letter from Princess Celestia out, and it fell un-ceremoniously on the floor, then Spike put his blanket back down. As Spike began snoring again, I just stared at Princess Celestia's letter, there on the floor. Spike... Well, it was the middle of winter, and snow probably covered the ground. I had not been outside yet, but was pretty sure it would be windy and snowing more. It was very cold outside anyway. I don't think Spike likes cold weather.
I unsealed, unrolled the letter and read. Princess Celestia's response said simply this.
"What color, and is their size constant?"
Wow, that was it! Well, I looked, I carefully looked again. The spots were still slowly changing in size, a little larger, then a little smaller. And actually, where spots were close, I could discern the color, very dark purple. I sighed, walked over to my desk, got another piece of paper, and wrote a letter back, simply this.
"Dark purple, and slowly varying in size."
I rolled it up, sealed it, then walked over to Spike. I was pretty sure I knew what would happen, so I was ready. Using my magic, I held this next letter to Princess Celestia close to his blanket, then pulled his blanket up right next to the letter. There was a whoosh, and it was gone. Then his snoring resumed. It was hard not to laugh! And I didn't even leave; I just waited. Before too long, Spike picked up the same edge of his blanket, and belched Princess Celestia's response onto the floor again, snoring soon after.
Princess Celestia's answer didn't help me relax at all.
"Taking Air Coach, be there in an hour."
Princess Celestia's response to my last message didn't help me relax at all...
"Air Coach, be there in an hour."
Well, I was just a little alarmed, as I wandered out of the library, down the hall and to the castle door to check the weather. Then I sighed heavily. It was snowing fiercely and at a good angle too. Princess Celestia's Air Coach ride would be horrible. But she felt she needed to come here right away... I was more alarmed. But all I could do was wait. So, I laid on my belly facing out the door and watched it snow, and tried to calm down. Spike came up a time or two, and asked me if something was wrong. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. I just gazed out across the blowing, drifting snow.
Maybe 2 hours later, the Air Coach unsteadily landed. It was still snowing, and I couldn't quite see, and I stood up. The Air Coach took abruptly off again, and was gone. But Princess Celestia walked quickly out of the snow, straight past me, down the hall into the library, and over to the thick rug in front of the Portal. She was laying down on that rug, shivering, when I walked up. Well, I laid on my belly right next to her, to try and help her thaw out, and her shivering only slowly went away. Then she started crying softly. "I hope we don't lose you..." she said this quietly, just a few times as she cried. I was soon crying too; I had no idea what these now 8 spots in my vision were, or what they meant. It was clear Princess Celestia did know however, and her responses... Well, around dinner time, we walked to the dining area for some food, then were back on our bellies facing each other on that thick rug in the library. Princess Celestia began to explain. And this would take a while. I guess there was a lot of information to cover. Or maybe, Princess Celestia was enjoying some of her remembering. She spoke slowly.
"Summer Star was such a precious Unicorn mare, and very gifted magically, too. Her coat was faded light blue, and reminded me of the late afternoon sky. Her mane and tail were very light, almost white, with just a hint of yellow, just like the first visible stars as the sun set. I helped her through her early stages in magic, and she was such a treasure to teach. Every little magical discovery, something new she could do with her magic, every new step brought her such amazing joy. Summer Star's magic grew quickly and it was clear that it would be quite powerful. I spent a lot of time teaching magic to her over the course of two years. We were the best of friends by then, and she was clearly taking in magic on her own, and spent a lot of time in the library studying, learning, practicing. Her magic was still growing rapidly."
Princess Celestia stopped here abruptly and began to cry. She cried pretty hard for a few minutes. Through her tears, she said this. "Living forever can be such a curse... I have had to watch so many amazing friends... pass..." Princess Celestia cried a while more, then worked on calming down. Still, that curse awaited me as well, and was a sobering reminder... Princess Celestia continued when she could.
"In spite of his name, Storm Swirl was a calm, considerate stallion. A unicorn too, most of his magic learning was done on his own, with the help of books, of course. He grew up to the west of our growing kingdom. His coat was light green. This correlated to the fact his wind magic was very powerful. His mane and tail were just a much lighter color of green. Storm Swirl was in the guard force at that time, and rising nicely through the ranks. Well, his unit was assigned to protect me as I toured one of our western outposts one day. And we ran into a large group of Cougars. We were clearly out-numbered, and I was just not sure... Storm Swirl immediately created the largest wind vortex I had ever seen, and ran that vortex around randomly in the midst of those Cougars. His vortex tossed the Cougars about like they were just pieces of paper on a windy day. They quickly ran off, limped off, and were gone. A week later, I had him back in Canterlot, trying to teach me the secret of his vortex magic. It was, is really quite powerful. Well, I quickly realized that this unknown Unicorn who taught himself in the wilds of the west, his magic, his magical ability was vast. But I guess, well maybe I just have a hard time with magic like that. It involves layering, I guess, two similar wind spells, and carefully controlling... Well, he had obviously mastered what I had trouble even learning. I still practice that when I can. I don't seem to be making much progress."
Princess Celestial smiled, and almost started crying, I could tell. Tears did slowly fall at this point.
"Even before I realized what a good tactical move this would be, Storm Swirl and Summer Star met. I was in the library with Storm Swirl. He was so patient, but I was having problems learning, even understanding his vortex spell. Summer Star found me there; we had planned on lunch together. I introduced them, I guess, and asked Storm Swirl if he would accompany us. And lunch was very quiet. I had to wonder if they both knew instantly that they each were facing... their perfect match. Well, I wasn't trying to do that, but I knew from past experience that the offspring of two very powerful Unicorns can be even more powerful. Equestria always needed more magic. Well, we had a hard time keeping them apart after that. They were growing more deeply in love, so devoted to each other. But they both... Well magic was just at the core of both their lives, and it was amazing to even watch them. It was like they used their magic for everything, together. Storm Swirl and Summer Star, they just walked calmly together wherever they were, and almost like a cloud around them, they used their magic to do everything they needed. Of course I married them two months later."
Princess Celestia was smiling by now. I think this was an amazing memory for her. But as she explained this heart-warming romance, I had actually placed their names. I will let Princess Celestia explain it though.
"I think Storm Swirl and Summer Star correctly realized that their foals would be very special. I know it was a chore for them, as deeply devoted to each other as they were, but they tried to space their foals out. They wanted to be able to focus their magic training on just one foal, one yearling at a time. And, of course, they would do this together. Magic was such an integral part of their lives. They loved sharing it, and would absolutely love teaching their own foals together. By the time one foal was 3 or 4 years old, which meant they would take their magic training on by themselves, Storm Swirl and Summer Star would think about having another foal." Princess Celestia laughed here, then kept going. "And I retained them in the magical reserves of the guard force so we could actually support them as a family while they hopefully brought new magic into the kingdom. That was both a strategic decision as well as... Well, I loved them both.
"Well, Starswirl the Bearded was one of their foals. And as you know, he was very gifted magically. He was one of the few Unicorns I have ever seen, whose magic kept growing dramatically until we lost him in battle. I won't even go into that... But Starswirl the Bearded helped defend Equestria loyally over the decades he served us. He was kind, but his magic was so very powerful. I don't even remember the name, but some magical monster attacked, and was giving us a hard time, and a number of our prized ponies were killed. Starswirl the Bearded ran up, cast some spell, and this monster was squeezed into an ever smaller ball, until it exploded in a ball of fire. Just that monster's ashes fell to the ground. Then he ran back to what he was doing before."
Princess Celestia was explaining this, but I knew it all, already. I had read everything I could find about my favorite Unicorn master! I didn't know these details about his parents though, but I doubt anything was written down about that. I thought maybe I should do a short article from Princess Celestia's recollections, covering this part of Starswirl the Bearded's life. As I was thinking that, Princess Celestia began to cry again...
"The first time Summer Star was in foal, Storm Swirl and Summer Star decided together that all their children would be named Starswirl, of course pulling both their names together. They loved each other so much... And this is not well known, but Starswirl the Bearded wasn't their first foal. Their first foal became known as Starswirl the Elder. His magic, his magical ability was vastly greater than even Starswirl the Bearded. If you can imagine sibling rivalry in a family of Unicorns... Well, mom and dad kept things calm and safe. But it was clear that their first foal (Starswirl the Elder) was magically stronger than their second (Starswirl the Bearded). And I really don't know how they came up with the exact names.
"But Starswirl the Elder... He was so powerful... He was loving and kind, just like his mom and dad, but his magic... His magic grew so rapidly, and quickly... After just three months as my student, he didn't need to do more than read a magical spell, and he could quickly analyze, extrapolate, take that spell apart and use the pieces in any number of different, new ways. During one of those few magic lessons I had with this gifted yearling Unicorn, I smiled inside, and thought "Equestria needs you!" And after just 3 months, he spent most of his time in the library. He definitely didn't need my help after that! But when he was not quite full grown... he noticed..."
Princess Celestia cried pretty hard here. And I had to wonder why there was absolutely nothing in print, in any libraries I had found, about my favorite Unicorn's family... I supposed I would find out... Princess Celestia cried for a while. Then she tried to go on.
"Those spots... Starswirl the Elder noticed them too, and told his mom and dad. None of us, we had never seen it before. Well, Starswirl the Elder, his magic was huge... But we just didn't know... Slowly varying in size, deeply dark purple color... starting around the outer edges of his view... they were just like..."
Well, I was scared now, and crying too. Princess Celestia finished that recollection, though.
"It slowly got worse, obstructing more and more of his view... And, I guess Starswirl the Elder, he was just so sensitive... There is a keen link between sensitivity and magic after all. But Starswirl the Elder just knew... It was evil that was eating away at his vision, eating away at his life inside, slowly pulling him towards darkness... This Unicorn with such vast magical ability, darkness was pulling him to itself. Starswirl the Elder increasingly felt that... He knew that. And Starswirl the Elder knew... there was only one way to stop this progression... And as he pleaded, he warned there was only one way to protect Equestria from one day having to deal with his own powerful magic, turned against us... He cried out... He pleaded... He shouted... We had to break his Unicorn horn.... This seemed a barbaric solution to be sure; his magic would be ruined... Well, his magic was unaffected, his vision was not substantially impaired, and so we tried to wait it out. But Starswirl the Elder, he just absolutely knew... We couldn't wait. He warned us soberly one afternoon. 'If you don't break my horn soon, then I probably won't let you, and you won't be able to stop me... He was crying out in anguish as he said that. Then he added, pleading "It is only a matter of time before I am lost... Save me from the evil... please...' "
Princess Celestia and I, we were both crying hard now... Still, she...
"On that very spot... crying torrents themselves, Storm Swirl and Summer Star... as Starswirl the Elder roared out in pain, and was quickly fighting back harshly to stop them... Mom and dad worked together... resolutely... and broke their own colt's Unicorn horn... to save him from evil... to save Equestria from him..."
Princess Celestia and I cried together for hours on that rug, until sleep finally took over...
Chapter 4, Words of the Blind
Spike and I, we somehow made it through that cold winter day, the many appointments it held... And between two appointments, I did notice the soothing tune flowing through my thoughts(1). And that evening, I had Spike send Princess Celestia the following brief message:
"Seven spots, no pull..."
Well, the next morning I tried to get everypony together; Pinkie, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow and Fluttershy, well and Filia and Fiona (twins), and Shyna too... I told them what had happened, what was happening, and what Princess Celestia had said about my spots, my pixels... Of course, we spent the rest of that day crying together.
But from that point, from that day on, it didn't seem to matter too much what each day held. No matter what I did, who I met, each day just seemed to crawl slowly by. Like the freezing cold, the snow on the ground, nothing seemed to stand out or make any difference. And when I was alone, I seemed to spend a lot of time crying. Well, this was really hard. Magic was... is my life... It just didn't seem to make much difference what else each day held. My whole life seemed to boil down to just sending that message... Everything else just seemed to fade into the background... And I tried to avoid using my magic at all , hoping that might help... I simply marked my days by writing that simple report so Spike could send it... I sort of lost track of time...
...
"Seven spots, no pull..."
...
"Seven spots, no pull..."
...
"Eight spots, no pull..."
...
"Eight spots, no pull..."
...
"Eight spots, no pull..."
...
The next day jolted me back to reality, I guess... I couldn't not use my magic... A large bully Unicorn stallion pulled his house on a wagon into town, stopping near the castle. A guard walked up to him and calmly asked him his business. This stallion laughed loudly. Just as a precaution, a few other guards quickly joined him. Even from the Library I heard him yell "You had better get the head pony in these parts right here, right now!" Just from that, I knew I needed too... Then he yelled loudly "Every Unicorn in this puny town had better get over here this instant!" Well, most everypony in town could hear that, too. I got up, started walking down the hall. The next thing I heard... "Push, you magical weaklings... Push or I will kill you..." When I walked out and down the steps, I saw two of the guards laying in the snow... probably dead, since it was freezing cold...
"Get over here Princess and help, or I will knock your whole town over" he yelled the minute I walked down the steps. "Maybe I will get some real practice outta' this!" The rest of the guards were so scared... Well, I was too, but I joined them, using my levitation magic to push up against his magic... Short term, that seemed all he wanted. But he had already killed...
"Get more Unicorns here princess... NOW!" he yelled. And, without even breaking a sweat, he used a different magic spell to collapse two of the closest houses... More of our precious ponies...
All of my girls were behind me now, but... "Rarity, help us. The rest of you let everypony know to come here as quickly as poss--"
"Yes! Perfect! You had better quickly round up the whole town! We need MORE UNICORNS" he shouted.
Spike was next to me still. He was scared too. I just said quietly to him "Let Princess Celestia know" and Spike walked slowly off towards the Castle, crying. Thanks to my girls, the town quickly gathered, and many more Unicorns were using their levitation magic to push up against this bully's beam. Filia and Fiona probably could have taken care of this idiot Unicorn, but they were in Canterlot... And I was scared to push too hard myself because of those spots, my pixels. I exerted, but was careful. And I quickly realized that, me pushing a little harder, well this stallion just bumped up his magic a little more. I sighed. Me taking a break from this to use the Elements... That wouldn't work... And I found out later that Spike was scared to death for me, and didn't have a clue what to tell Princess Celestia, so he sent nothing to her... He just cried in his bed. This horrible Unicorn bully taunted us continuously, viciously... Some of his vulgar barbs... And if this sounds like a perfect storm... It was the middle of winter, now snowing harder and harder, and very windy. This winter storm was winding up... Honestly, I think we all... Time crawled along so slowly... Shivering from the cold... This bully's vicious taunting... Already two dead ponies laying nearby, maybe more in the two houses... Maybe Princess Celestia would come and...
On a lark, I think, Applejack ran off to go get her new neighbor Hope, a cute, small Unicorn mare with very little magical ability, well at that point. Applejack was crying when she left, saying maybe every little bit might help... Hope had come to our little town last summer, and lived in the meadow out near Applejack, and they were becoming friends. And we had learned recently that Hope had dragged a blind Unicorn stallion out of the last blizzard... We were all concerned, them living together, but couldn't do much when it was hard to even be outside... I was glad Applejack galloped off though, because maybe she wouldn't die like the rest of us. I guess that was how I really felt...
Hope did finally show up -- on that blind stallion's back, hugging his neck tightly. It looked terrible. And, to make matters worse, though blind, that stallion carrying Hope immediately confronted the large Unicorn bully stallion that was beating up the rest of the town. The Unicorn bully was outraged. This would not, could not help the rest of us at all. And it seemed that, what Hope and that blind stallion did afterwards... I thought they were just trying to find little ways to irritate him... Well it just made the bully Unicorn even angrier. I was pretty sure it would make everything worse for the rest of us... An angry magical bully.... I tried not to be angry at Hope, and the blind stallion she had dragged out of the snow...
...Without warning, the bully Unicorn's house on a wagon rose high overhead, then crashed down loudly on top of that bully Unicorn. The bully beam stopped immediately, but ours kept going briefly and rolled what was left of his house across the snow until it was just bits and pieces. And his own house falling on this bully Unicorn; that broke his Unicorn horn, and it fell off, disappearing into the snow... His magic was... gone...
...That blind Unicorn that Hope had dragged in out of the snow... His levitation magic was huge. And, though blind, he was magically sensitive enough that he could trace Hope using her feeble magic, as she lightly shook one of the wheels of that bully's house. That blind Unicorn... He picked that bully Unicorn's house up and dumped it on top of that monster. This part of Hope's story is recorded elsewhere(2). ...Hope's stallion had rescued the rest of the town, maybe more...
...But it was what Hope's stallion said afterwards to that bully Unicorn as that bully lay in the snow, groaning... I will never forget that blind Unicorn's words...
"Arrogant Unicorn... Unicorn magic is not for yourself... It is for helping others..."
Hope and her blind Unicorn Stallion turned and quickly, quietly left. And we worked right away to free the ponies stuck in the two houses that bully had collapsed. One of the foals didn't make it, but the rest were ok. And it was only later that evening that I could let Princess Celestia know what had happened. I had to wait until Spike had calmed down. Through his tears, he said he didn't think I would even come back this time. And explaining what had happened in town that day, and how Hope's Stallion had stopped it, well it took a few pages. Once Spike finally got that sent off, I lovingly tucked Spike in his bed, and put his blanket on, well over him. It was still freezing cold outside.
I was beat. I walked into my room, to my bed and pretty much fell into it. Well, I took my crown off and set it on the table using my magic as I fell. Laying on my back, looking at the white ceiling, I didn't even bother counting spots. I just said quietly to myself, exactly what Hope's blind Stallion had said to that bully Unicorn...
"Arrogant Unicorn... Unicorn magic is not for yourself... It is for helping others..."
I really was very tired; magic use can easily tire you like physical exercise. I was soon asleep. And when I woke up the next morning, I made a decision. Whenever I noticed those spots, those pixels, I was say this again, quietly to myself.
"Arrogant Unicorn... Unicorn magic is not for yourself... It is for helping others..."
And I started saying this whenever I talked about my magic, or even thought about it. Oh, it may have sounded like I was mumbling to myself to someponies. I was! With these changes, I cautiously worked on getting back to normal, whatever that is. I didn't always remember, but when I did, I would have Spike send a brief report to Princess Celestia in the evening...
"six pixels, no pull..."
...
"four pixels, no pull..."
...
"five pixels, no pull..."
...
"three pixels, no pull..."
...
"two pixels, no pull..."
...
Well, I stopped doing that. And, I have resumed my own magical training; a Unicorn simply has to keep exercising his or her magic in order for it to grow, to not stagnate. Magic is a lot like a muscle. If you don't use it, it atrophies.
...
It varies between one and two pixels now, and honestly, whenever I notice, or whenever I remember...
"Arrogant Unicorn... Unicorn magic is not for yourself... It is for helping others..."
Author's Note
(1) "The Divine", zone music for "Kamihr Drifts", available in the "Forever Today" add-on to the original soundtrack for the "Seekers of Adoulin" expansion for Final Fantasy 11, all copyright by Square Enix.
Waking up the next morning, I still wanted to cry... I could not escape noticing those spots right away... And if... since they probably were what Princess Celestia had described... We had cried last night until sleep took over. I just wanted to go back to sleep... But I worked on waking up and not crying. Princess Celestia was already awake, staring off across the library. Still laying on her belly, without turning, she spoke slowly, almost dispassionately, with sometimes minutes between... Maybe we were cried out...
...
"Pixels... That is what we decided to call them... those spots...
"It was taken from an Old Pony word that I can't even remember now. I think it meant little pictures or something...
...
"I have heard my twin Principal Celestia and the Equestria Girls use the same word, but I think it means something else to them, and I never bothered to ask...
...
"You... we need to follow the progression of your pixels very closely. You need to be honest. And if you start to feel pulled towards evil...
"Lu and I are ready, and we will break your horn, should that be the only way to keep Equestria safe from you, and to rescue such a precious student, a treasured friend...
...
"We have no idea how to recover the Elements of Harmony, should this happen however... We probably wouldn't...
...
I am scared... for you... for Equestria... And with no Phantom Alicorn... That would leave just Lu and I... again... I... That is really scary...
...
"We just don't know..."
...
Princess Celestia did start to cry softly. She got up, and I did too. We hugged and cried together briefly.
"I hope it doesn't come to that..." she said through tears.
Princess Celestia turned to leave, and I only then noticed the four Pegasus pulling stallions for the Air Coach, huddled in a corner trying to get warm. As I stood there, they all quickly disappeared down the hall, and were soon flying back to Canterlot in freezing cold weather.
For a while, I just stood where I was... trying to avoid even thinking about those spots, those pixels... I tried closing my eyes so I could ignore them, but realized I saw them faintly even then... I sighed, then walked slowly out of the library and down the hall. I wandered out to the door, and looked outside, really staring out across Ponyville. There was snow on the ground, and it was cold, but it seemed calm.
At some point later, Spike walked up. "What..." I guess that was all he could get out.
I quietly told him the truth. "Spike, I have a rare magic desease called Pixels. If it progresses, they will need to break my Unicorn horn."
"But that..." Again, that was all Spike could say. As I hugged him, he cried for while, too...
