Luna has a strange night

by InkHeartBrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 1347

Best blue horse does some stupid things.

I am Princess Luna, and I am sick and tired of seeing the same dreams over and over again. It's time to spice things up a little… And run into some weird things too that I REALLY didn't want to run into.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-07 03:40:01 UTC

Sweet Celestia... What is that?!

I should probably introduce myself. I am Princess Luna! Princess of the night! I can make all your dreams come true! Well, that is until you wake up, and then go on and on crying about how you wish it was real. Blah blah blah, I've heard it too many times. I've gotten too many complaints. Seriously, do you ponies not understand that I can't control whether you win the lottery or not?

Anyway, I was getting bored of the complaints and seeing the same things over and over again, so I just decided, hey, why not? Why not give ponies nightmares instead? I like to spread fear in ponies hearts anyway. Ooh... I think a little bit of Nightmare Moon is stuck to me.

Right now I'm in some ponies dream, and they're falling into a pit of spiders. How fun. I shall play a little trick on them. I don't really like their beard so it will be fun to mess with this stallion.

I was flying next to him, my front hooves crossed and my head raised.

"Hello, sir. What is it that you fear?"

He was screaming, and yelled.

"I'm falling into a hole full of spiders! Help help!"

I nodded, and made a net appear under him. He smiled at me appreciatively. As if I cared.

"Problem solved!"

I poofed out of existence, except, I was just invisible. I watched as he looked around. Sitting in his floating tiny hammock.

"Uh... what now?"

The spiders underneath grew and grew in size, and started crawling on the walls to reach him.

"AAAAH!"

He screamed once more.

I began to laugh, watching as he fell. One of the spiders took out a pair of scissors from nowhere, and cut off his beard. Good. I like it much better that way.

The spider held onto his tiny body, and shook him in the air. But he didn't seem to notice for he only cared about his beardless face.

"My beard!"

He began to cry like a filly. Dramatically putting his hoof on his forehead and closing his eyes.

"Oh why? WHYYYY!?"

Then the whole dream went black. That meant it was over, he had woken up.

I smirked.

I wish I could've cut off that beard in real life.

I lit up my horn, and welcomed myself to a new dream. I recognized the pony immediately as Lyra Heartstrings, who of course, was dreaming about... humans.

I had no idea where she had learned of such creatures. I honestly thought she had made them up in her head. The way she described them, they sounded truly horrifying. Having weird tentacles attached to their hooves and no cutiemark to tell you your purpose, your destiny? I wanted to barf just thinking about them.

It made me gag a little looking at it now. She sat on a couch in her home, taking a sip of tea which for some reason she held in her hooves instead of with her magic. She smiled up at the strange fat creature sitting in front of her. The creature wore a full outfit covering it's body, which was rather odd, most ponies don't get all dressed up like that. Except that it wasn't dressed up all nice, it's shirt was dirty and gray, you could see holes in it. It's hair was rather short, brown and messy. A beanie hat on its head, and was holding the tea with its... Uugh, tentacles.

Gag

It had a weird shape for a head and no muzzle, like it had been hit with a carriage and flattened. It looked as if it had multiple chins, and you could see some stubble of a beard. Perched on that crooked thing above its mouth were small glasses.

Gag

And regretfully, I stepped forward to see closer, noticing the thing had no fur.

It was some sort of hairless monkey. Yes! It resembled a monkey in a strange way. Except it was more disgusting than a monkey. All of these human things are ugly I'll just assume.

I know you're listening writer!

Gag

Okay okay, I swear, that'll be my last gag!

Of course, Lyra couldn't see me, neither could the hairless monkey. I listened to them talk for a moment. The human had a male voice, deep but would crack sometimes. Which was just painful to listen to.

"It's weird getting to meet ponies. I always dreamed of meeting one really."

"How did you know about us? I mean, you said where your from they're different."

Lyra leaned closer with utter fascination.

"Oh... well, It's a long story. I guess you could say I heard about you from... Books or something."

"You want more tea, Richard?"

Richard? What in Equestria was a richard? Why would that even be a name? I've never heard of such a thing. Maybe a richard was an invention while I was stuck on the moon?

"Actually..."

Suddenly, Richard the fat ugly monkey grabbed her hoof and got close to her. Like, too close.

"I want you."

"You can't let this become a clop!"

Don't worry writer! I won't!

I was done with this dream. I hated these ugly humans, I hated this richard.

I pulled out a large sledge hammer, and made myself visible.

Lyra screamed as I hopped into the air, spread my wings, and smashed the hammer onto his head.

A strange cartoonish sound played when I hit him, and he swayed. Little birds flew around his head tweeting.

I turned around, dropped the hammer, and watched everything fade to black as Lyra woke up.

I just knew she was going to be mad at me. Whatever.

Richard seemed like a dick anyway.

Sooooo, away from that dream. Ugh, I don't think I'll ever go into one of Lyra's dreams ever again. That was worse than any nightmare I could mix up.

I was once again in that weird blue outer space place. I don't know what to call this place really. On either side of me, rows of doors appeared, I did Eeney meeney money mo, pointing my hoof at doors and choosing by random. The one that was picked was regular old oak door, which I opened to reveal a light purple unicorn staring right at me looking really angry. One eye green and the other blue.

"Get out! I'm writing this story!"

She yelled in my face and shut the door.

I blinked in surprise, and now noticed a sign on the door that said,

Only open for fourth wall breaks!

Oops.

I opened the door right next to it instead, and my eye twitched. It hurt my eyes to look at any of Pinkie's dreams. So bright and colorful and insane. I always wondered if she was on some sort of magical drug. Rainbows filled the purple sky, candy had faces and were dancing, the road was baby blue and covered in polka dots and the clouds were cotton candy. Fillies music played from somewhere, and in the middle of all this hopped the excited and hyper Pinkie Pie.

I groaned.

I stepped in, leaving the door open in case of escape, and talked in my royal Canterlot voice.

(Which I only talked in to mess with every pony.)

"STOP THIS MADNESS!"

The dream froze, only for a moment, before it all disappeared. Leaving the startled pink pony sitting in the middle of an empty gray room. Staring at me.

"You're welcome."

Pinkie Pie began to tear up, her hair deflated sadly. But suddenly her face of shock turned into fierce anger. She grit her teeth, and stood up holding a sharp knife in her hoof. She charged at me screaming angrily.

I was frozen for a second until she neared closer, going at an insane speed. I ran out of the room screaming, and shut the door, locking it.

I held the door shut, and heard her banging on the other side. Another angry scream ripping through her throat.

I think that's enough dreaming for today.