Falling Out! An Out-Of-Our Universe Adventure!

by mrheadhopper

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Adventure, Crossover, Random, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6
Length: 3765

A young man called Isaac Hammond living in post-apocalyptic New Vegas ends up in Equestria.

The year is 2281... or it was. A strange mishap regarding a mini-nuke, some pulse grenades and plasma pistols rips a hole through two worlds and causes a man clad in a suit of T-51b power armor to end up in Equestria, Ponyville. Shit happens. Swearing and maybe a little gore, so no kiddos!
Fanfic in first person, woope doo.

Also, cliche as fuck.

Deal with it.

Published 2011-12-09 02:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-10 05:45:59 UTC

Issue 1 - A Waste's Lander, A Pony's Wonder

"Am I dead?"

My power armor somehow managed to keep itself attached, I still felt it on me during whatever procedure I had just went through. I really felt like all of my body had decided to break, twist and turn; leaving my evil brain to deliver pain, mostly all over my pitiful body. Whatever had just happened had got me bad.

"Oh, I'm probably in some sort of hell if I can feel this much pain."

There were voices whirling around my head, probably my conscience discussing with itself and trying to force me back into consciousness; for I was feeling extremely light, kinda like when you're dreaming.

"My name... It's.. Isaac. Isaac Hammond. I.. How long have I been out?"

I woke up in what seemed like the middle of the night. I forced his eyes open and cooled down in the night's loving grasp. My pupils had long since shrank to try and get a better grip at the darkness, and it would've been a true pain in the ass to open my sorry eyes to a bright, glaring sun. My throat was extremely sore, probably because of dehydratation. I forced himself up only a short while after regaining painful consciousness, standing woozily in some sort of lenghty clearing. I had seen pretty things like those, but this was special for some reason. It seemed to be a bright circle of greenish-blue grass surrounded by massive trees, and in the center of the clearing was a small, sparkling pool surrounded by bright rocks. As I examinated it over and over again, I noticed that it looked... otherwordly. Everything looked so simple, with barely no detail at all. It felt like the grim, bloody world I was in decided to take a turn for the best. My aiming system, Audio Inhibitors and Vis-Oh! 2000 were already setting themselves up again, I could see the blue-ish text on the right and left corners of my mission. I still had an ammo counter; 30 out of 32, so that meant my plasma Defender was still on me. My health counter looked fine, being only a fair 73 out of a 100. I reached out to my left thigh's side and pulled my plasma sidearm out of its holster, should I in any case encounter some sort of hostile in this surprisingly-not-grimdark world.

I started to walk forwards from where I had originally looked at when I got up on my feet, and after roughly two minutes of mindless walking, I found myself standing infront of some wooden sign mounted on two sticks with the words "Ponyville" marked onto the wood. 0I stared at it for roughly a few seconds before I touched it, trying to make sure it was real. It was pretty damn real, but it still looked stupidly... happy to me. I turned my view from the sign and looked behind the sign and stared at what seemed to be a lenghty light-grassed road with a couple of houses bundled together, wooden walls, hay rooves and ornate glass windows.

I stepped out towards the horizontal road and my movement tracker instantly turned itself on, marking the unknown moving life forms with a bright orange text, indicating that those lifeforms weren't cached on the T-51b's database. It could have been a error in my power armor because of it being damaged, but I simply ignored those and continued vertically of where I was standing on the horizontal road. Eventually I reached some sort of bridge that lead me to a massive, towering circular building with a brownish coned roof that had some sort of tower mounted atop of said roof. There were pink glass windows and certain lanterns hanging from poles holding the structure in certain parts, but I just decided to ignore it for now. Making contact with whatever 'unknown lifeforms' in it wasn't exactly my thing.

I stood infront of it's yellow-ish staircase and started towards a fountain of the sorts with what appeared to be a cartoonish equine mounted on a ball atop of said fountain. I caught view of the waters and decided to walk to the edges of said fountain. I took my helmet off in a damn instant; I needed my mouth free to drink and drink from those much-needed waters. I drank more than enough before putting my helmet on and I simply stood stiff as I heard both the movement tracker's insane beeping and the sound of hard limbs hitting the ground behind me. I turned around almost instantly, aiming my Plasma Defender with both arms at whatever was behind me.

"Hold the fuck still!"

The purple, horned equine stopped instantly in it's tracks, one of it's forelegs curled over for it was about to take another step. It seemed, like most of the other things I've seen here, stupidly cartoonish, and it sported some sort of satchel mounted on it's back, much like those things one would put on a pack mule. The pony, as I thought it was, opened it's mouth and tried to emitt some sort of sound, but the only thing that came out was a stiff squeak as it's horn started glowing.

"Don't try anything! I swear to God, I'll shoot your sorry ass if you even TRY ANYTHING!"

The glow diminished quickly. I held my finger steady on the trigger, but I started to lower my weapon as it screamed "THERE'S A MONSTER!" and set off at a stupidly fast pace. Sighing, I kept my weapon ready and analyzed my surroundings should any of those things pop up. They didn't look dangerous, but hell, that glow looked like it was gonna hit me or something. I walked forwards and, after some thinking up, reluctantly went after it. If it could speak english, maybe it could provide some sort of insight if I dared come at it without a weapon in it's face.

After following it's hurried pace to a massive tree with a bunch of balconies and blacked-out windows, I decided to walk up to the door, my massive armor making rather loud noises against the hardwood. I sheated my weapon in it's leather holster and knocked on the door. After hearing a series of muffled shouts, steps and shuffles, the door opened. I screamed as a unknown force pushed me back against a surprisingly hard wall.

I saw my health drop below 0 and then flick itself to 60 and 75 before my visor and I blacked out.

Author's Note

This is my first fanfic and I need some sort of pre-reader, so it'd be lovely if any of you folks decided to help my sorry ass out and make this fic real nice n' shit.

Criticism is needed, fuck me over and shit on my face if needed to.

Issue 2 - Marked As Hostile

There was a blur of colors as all my systems mapped themselves on and revealed my current objective in bright blue letters, making a very noticeable deep blue line towards a door infront of me. I picked up my 12.7mm SMG and jumped when a loud, familiar britanic voice snapped at me.

"Isaac! You have no time and I have no time to explain, just get to the door seven! Right ahead of you! Go, go!"

I ran towards the door in the small, metallic room branded with glowing green letters. 07. I pressed the 'Open' button on the panel in the door, and it beeped loudly.

"Diana, I can't! I can't! The door's jammed!"

~~~

I sprung my eyes open and next thing I know is that I have to close them because of the sheer pain as blinding light seeps in through the visor, proving me that it somehow remained functional in whatever blast I had just endured. I waited a little bit as my eyes took in to the light that seeped in through my eyelids, and then I got up.

Or I thought I did, because I was actually just flailing my limbs. I noticed that I was being held in some fashion by almost nothing, but I still felt pressure as something held me above the ground. The light wasn't the sun or anything that I'd expect it to be, it was actually a bright purple glow that seemed to wrap itself around my suit of armor, efficiently locking me in place above the ground.

"Let me go, you- you piece of shit!"

Whatever it was complied and roughly put me down, causing my armor to slam against the grass. I took this as an advantage and propped myself up using my arms, and, as soon as I was in a steady pose, I reached at my right thigh and gripped on a steel combat knife, one of the few that hadn't taken much damage in the Great War.

"No, stop! I'm not going to hu-"

Having seen that it's still nighttime, I dashed forwards and held her throat down. She tried to fight back and claw at me with those hard hooves of hers, but it was basically pointless because of my armor and damn, I almost choked her before I punched her straight in the face, stunning her and giving me a clear opportunity to stick the damn knife in her throat, effectively getting a loud gasp as she took in to the pain. I stood and watched as she slumped down to the ground after several failed attempts to grip at the knife and force it out, altho that seemed impossible with those hooves.

"Twilight, are you okay? You shouldn't have fle-"

What seemed to be some sort of purple reptile had stepped out the doorway and froze in what I assumed was fear as she saw 'Twilight' with a knife jammed in the lower sections of her throat. The thing snapped it's eyes at me before going for the purple horse, putting pressure on it's throat and whispering several things in her ear that not even my Audio+ could catch. She frantically snapped her eyes to me, then to the reptile, to the sky and to several other things I didn't notice, for I was already fleeing to the right.

"Help! Help me, quick!"

I assumed that was the lizard, so I took my Glock 86 out of its holster and put my finger on the trigger as I bailed to a big, pink tower-like structure I saw at the edges of the city.

As I neared it, I cautiously walked up to a blue glassed door that appeared to be split in two. I noticed that, should I ever walk inside, I'd have to lower my head. Sighing, I knocked. I still had the pistol on my hands, but I lowered it to my side when the door was opened and I was subsequently greeted by a pink horse with blue eyes and a extremely puffed up pink mane.

"Hi! Are you new? Because you look new! And you look mean in that suit, too, so you should probably get that checked. Is that blood on your..."

I stared at it and I would've looked down and analyzed myself weren't it for the helmet. I quickly thought up my response as I slowly put my plasma pistol on my leather holster, buttoning it in place as I spoke,

"No, that's just ketchup. And yes, I'm new, but I wanna ask you something."

"What? Do you want a muffin? Can you even eat for that part?"

I let a small sigh escape my mouth that my helmet gladly fuzzed out.

"No, no. I just need to come in. Can I talk to you inside?"

She bounced and I would've assumed she was about to say 'yes', but she cut herself off and cocked her head backwards as her head traversed off to the inside.

"Rarity, there's a robot outside! Can I let it in?"

I looked behind me, making sure nobody was seeing me.

"Why of course, my dea- Did you say a ROBOT?"

The sheer pitch of the other horse's voice hurted my ears. I heard her ( or what I assumed was a female ) walk up to the door and pop her head out the doorframe to stare at me in what I assumed was fright. It looked like a 'unicorn', like one of the robotic horses you'd see in pre-war propaganda except it wasn't robotic and it had a curly purple mane. And real eyes. And a mouth. And it was alive. And it also had white fur.

"Pinkie! Are you sure this... this.. thing will not hurt us?"

'Pinkie' seemed to stare at me for a few seconds with an expression that resembled some sort of mix between curiousness and happiness.

"Of course! It's covered in ketchup anyways, so why wouldn't it be friendly?"

"--but.. just, look at it! It looks... frightening! It looks menacing! Look at the..."

She procedeed to tap my chest with one of her stupidly clean limbs to prove her point.

"...menacing plating it has! I dare say this.. thing looks most menacing!"

I raised my hand and spoke with a tone of light agression,

"Hey, I'm no thing, I'm a hum-"

'Pinkie' interrupted me. Her voice sounded like a shriek compared to mine.

"He hasn't hurt us yet, has it? So that means it's friendly! You aren't one to judge by appearances, are you Rarity?"

The white unicorn seemed to look at itself in shame before proudly raising her head.

"Very well then, I hereby allow 'it' inside. So long as all you do is TALK, and not touch anything."

The white 'unicorn' sighed and then nodded to 'Pinkie', whom was staring at her. They both procedeed to turn away and walk inside, with 'Pinkie' stopping and turning to me to motion me inside. I noticed how most of the bright white interior surrounded by pink walls looked like a mess. There were manequinns of several horses strewn about in what I'd guess is a 'jumping' position, piles of gems scattered across several corners, heaps of varying clothes and several tools that one would use should they ever decide to sew and create varied articles of clothing. I heard the door close behind me and the unfamiliar sound of the white unicorn's hooves making that 'clop clop' noise as she walked away.

"What's your name, anyways?"

Shaking myself out of my stupor, I dumbly stared ( Altho not really visible because of certain massive helmet covering my face ) at 'Pinkie' before responding,

"My name is Isaac Hammond."

'Pinkie' stared at me for a few seconds and ran up to me, thudding at my armor.

"Weird name for a robot! I mean, wouldn't you be named Beep-Boop? And why does your voice sound so..." She proceeded to poke me again before shifting gazes from my chest to my helmet. "...fluid?"

"Because I'm not a robot, I'm a person!"

She withdrew from my chest and stood infront of me, still looking up to my helmet.

"You're a pony, too? Woah, I've never seen a pony like you before!"

I froze. Ponies? You mean, pretty pink ponies? Y'know, kinda like the ones you'd see prancing around TV if you were a girl or something?

"I'm not a pony, okay, I'm a.. human. Do you know what a human is?"

"...a what? I never heard of person-robots that suddenly appeared in towns!"

I sighed, trying to make it clearly audible through my speaker.

"Just.. nevermind... Now, tell me, what are ponies?"

~~~

I laughed at this point. It felt like I was going insane yet at the same time I was locked up in some sort of paradise. Everything was stupidly cheery in this world. No damn problems, no political disputes, no nuclear fallouts, not even GUNS in this place. I'd probably have to use a sword once this 300 pack of plasma cells run out. A damn sword. Sigh. Rarity continued her speech.

"So.. yeah, that's it. The whole of ponydom is ran by dear Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Quite frankly, I'd be telling you about everywhere else, but I personally don't know anything about the other countries waiting beyond our own borders, so..."

I was sitting on this extremely hard wooden chair that somehow managed to hold my weight. I simply nodded my head. She had just summed up 'Equestria' in 30 minutes.

"No, thank you. That's more than enough. Now, you people are serious when you tell me you don't have any guns... or cannons... or anything like that?"

Rarity nodded.

"We do have cannons, but they were put out of use a long while ago. You see, there was thi-"

She was cut off and frightened by a loud alarm followed by a voice that sounded much like the one that the purple pony, except it sounded much more garbled, maybe even . The sheer volume of whatever sound emitter made up for it, though.

"Attention, citizens of Ponyville! This is Twilight Sparkle, and I have to inform you of a steel giant on the loose, and he- *cough*, he just stuck a knife in my damn throat. Report him to the Mayor's Hall if you see him, and... and run if he gets too close! Celestia's guardsmen are coming! Remain calm!"

I slowly craned my head towards Rarity, who was staring at me in terror. Then I turned it towards Pinkie, who seemed to be still trying to capture whatever the comm had just said.

"You stabbed Twilight Sparkle!?"

Rarity's voice had some sort of extreme anger, shock and confusion going on in it. I stood up instantly and started walking backwards towards the door, my view still fixated on the white unicorn slowly standing up from it's chair.

"It was in self defense! She had slammed me into a goddamn wall!"

Pinkie shot up from behind Rarity and whispered something into her ear.

"No, Pinkie! We can't forgive him! He almost killed one of our friends."

Pinkie Pie was trying to keep up pace with her and whisper some more as I stepped out the door into the outside, gripping my plasma pistol should she try anything.

"A friend isn't really your friend when he jams a KNIFE up your other friend's throat! Look, just back off, okay? I don't wanna hurt you too."

At that moment, I instantly pulled my plasma pistol near my face and aimed down the sights, right hand firmly securing my gun in place as I continued to walk backwards.

"Look, I don't wanna shoot you! Don't even fucking dare!"

Someone shrieked from behind me and next thing I know is that I'm pushed backwards by the same force as before, except it was a little stronger. This time I was actually ready for it and my T-51b's Tight Grip mod kicked in just seconds before the attack; forcing several metal spikes to pop out of every corner in my armor's feet and pierce the ground, a loud click indicating that they were secured in place. The blast didn't do much to me, it felt like a massive gust of wind against most of my upper body, but I remained steady and moved backwards only a few feet. Tight Grip's spikes forced themselves out of the ground and retracted into special hollowed out spots in my feet as I shoot my '86's first bullet of the day at Rarity. To my surprise, it hit her right in the shoulder and the plasma burned through her skin pretty damn badly; leaving a charred, smoking black-red spot of flesh that revealed most of the upper muscle structure that made up her right leg. She shrieked out into the air and slumped over on her left side, her head pathetically lifting itself upwards only to pass out as soon as she saw her own wounds. Pinkie sprung up behind her and stared at me quizically before looking in shock at Rarity's body.

"Why!?" Pinkie shrieked.

I kept on walking backwards.

"She asked for it! Crime and punishment!"

I couldn't really notice my movement tracker because I was far too focused on Pinkie, and I literally gasped when I turned around only to see several winged stallions wrapped in tight gold armor, most of their features ( Save for their blue, glowing eyes ) being covered by armor. Most of them were white, but I ignored that as my head flashlight turned itself on almost instantly, detecting the low light levels around me. Behind them was what I guessed was Princess Celestia, covered in the same set of armor as them, her eyes glowing a deep yellow that seemed to trail off her eyes and backwards.

"STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!" Celestia yelled with a voice that practically made the floor shake. Her guards held a steady line across the street I was planning to go through, and what appeared to be some sort of spears were starting to emerge from the guard's shoulders, jousting outwards. They were basic bulls now.

"Fuck you! I'm not stopping for shit. Let me through or else I'll have to kill more of your goddamn ponies!"

Celestia seemed to look to her side for two seconds as if whispering to something or someone, before raising her head upwards, her colorful rainbow mane tugging upwards. Surprisingly, it wasn't dancing OR sparkling, it was acting like a perfectly normal mane.

"LET IT BE SO, THEN. GUARDS, CHARGE!"

I suddenly renembered why I had that particular weight on my back, why I couldn't sit without hitting my back against something hard. I reached out towards my back, obtained a good grip on the barrel of the gun and to my relief I obtained a modded Assault Carbine, one of those that closely resembled a M4a1, yet still wasn't considered one. I gripped the barrel tightly with my left hand and held the grip tightly, my finger placed over the trigger
"Shiiet!"

I began to blindly fire my rifle in arcs with the rifle swayed up to my hips, the combination of the motion tracker's beeping and the gunfire practically deafening me.

I didn't hear the familiar sounds of plated bodies hitting the floor and neither did I hear my own collapse.

Author's Note

This chapter is really rushed, gay, and maybe even really fucking homo

So uh yeah. Drop the hate bomb n shit and give me more goddamn criticism.

BTW sorry, no not-me prereader this time. I hope it's not too terrible