Moondancer Reads Every Book In Equestria

by Madame Ponka

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Moondancer, Random
Length: 1832

Sweater Horse Reads Too Many Books

Moondancer reads every book in existence and has an existential crisis.

Reading by Lotus Moon

Published 2017-05-07 22:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-07 22:10:01 UTC

Moondancer Reads Dusty Old Books

Moondancer sat at an old wooden desk, cluttered with many quills, journals, inkwells, and bags of hay chips. The glow of the candle illuminated the small sector of the dark room. She must’ve been on her fifth book of the day by now. Her eyes glanced over the worn pages of the pottery textbook. If she didn’t end up as a magical nerd with her muzzle stuck in a bunch of old books, Moondancer swore to Celestia, she would probably be a pottery professor.

She became lost in a 2,001-page tome about centuries-old jars and mugs. The lengthy walls of text and grainy photographs of pots were a pleasure to the egghead’s eyes. She soaked in all of the wonderful information about the different styles of clay and methods of sculpting over the years. Within three hours, she finished the enormous book and set it aside to read the next one, an equally large book about Equestrian flowers and trees. Moondancer was giddy with excitement at the thought of learning about the Silver Arrowback flower, or the Manehattan Red Spruce. She opened the book to the first page.

“Wait… I’ve read this before… Four years ago…”

Moondancer skimmed through the familiar introduction. Her brow furrowed as disappointment washed over her. She tossed the book aside and angrily munched on a hoof-full of hay chips. “That would’ve been my last book for tonight. Now what!?”, she pondered to herself. She couldn’t just go to bed early; it was 1:00 AM for Luna’s sake!

Moondancer took a deep breath and tried to relax. “It’s okay, Moondancer. You can just go back to the library tomorrow and get some new books. Everything will be fine…”

“Everything is fine…”

~

“EVERYTHING IS NOT FINE!!”

Moondancer browsed through the towering shelves of the Canterlot Library. She tried her absolute hardest to find a single book that she hadn’t read, but hours of searching turned up nothing. She began to sweat and pant as she tried to find just one book.

“Pardon me, Miss Moondancer,” a voice from behind her chirped. “Are you quite alright?”

Moondancer looked behind her and saw one of the librarians staring at her with a concerned look.

“O-Oh…Everything is perfectly fine, heh. Just a bit stuffy in here, that’s all.” Moondancer gave a cheesy grin as she tried to compose herself.

The librarian looked confused. “Um… alright then. If you need anything, just give me a holler,” she said trotting away.

Moondancer giggled. “Heehee, sure thing!”

Moondancer went back to perusing the thousands of books. “Teatime for Eggheads? No, I read that. Tentmaking Through the Years? Ew, that one was awful! Terrific Teeter’s Terrifying Travels Through the Treetops!? Even worse!” The more she scanned the large novels and textbooks, the more stressed she became.

“How is this possible!? The Canterlot Library has every book in Equestria! I can’t just end up reading them all!”

After hours of searching, she came to the last section. The Z’s. This was her final chance at finding a book she had not read. “Zebraharan Mating Rituals? Zoology in Yakyakistan? I’ve read them all!?”

Finally, she came to the last book, simply titled Zzzzz. “Somepony desperately wanted their book to be last,” Moondancer thought to herself. It was a very interesting book though. She loved learning about the adorable sleep patterns of breezies.

“WAIT! I’ve read this book!” she thought in a panic. The realization hit her like a speeding train driven by Pinkie Pie after an intense baking session.

“I’ve read every book in Equestria…”

She could barely comprehend this. How could she read thousands of books so fast? Most ponies barely even pick up a book in their life, let alone read every single one! She left the library with a melancholic expression. The librarian was puzzled as she saw one of the most prolific readers in Equestria leave with not a single book in hoof. Moondancer’s entire life seemed to collapse in on itself. Her favorite thing to do, and she couldn’t do it anymore.

When the bookworm without any books arrived at her home, she flung herself on the couch and cried. Moondancer never thought that she’d hit a lower point in her life than when Twilight didn’t show up for the party, but this was far worse. She looked at all the books on the shelf and strewn on the floor. She thought of all the tomes and novels she read throughout the years, and now her journey was complete. There was only one thing left to do.

Complain to Twilight Sparkle about her problems.

~

“Moondancer, why are you complaining about your problems to me? I’m not a psychologist.”

“But Twiliiiiight! This is important!”

“Did you seriously travel here to Ponyville to whine about you reading too many dusty old books?”

Moondancer paused before answering. “Yes…”

“How could you just read every book in Equestria like that!? There’s currently 24709 books in existence. It would take multiple lifetimes to even read half that many!”

“I DON’T KNOW, TWILIGHT!!!”, she screamed at her, tears forming in her eyes. She took a deep breath. “Look… I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve done everything there is to do, and I don’t know what to do next. I’ve lost the only thing that truly gave me joy in this life.”

“If reading a bunch of outdated biology textbooks is the only thing that brings you joy, you really need to get out more,” Twilight said with a blank expression.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Friendship is harmony, or however you say it. And I’ll have you know, I’ve talked with many ponies since that little… incident last year.”

“By ‘many ponies’ do you just mean Lemon Hearts and Minuette?”

Moondancer bit her lip.

“You haven’t made any friends, haven’t you?”

“ARE YOU GONNA HELP ME OR NOT!?” Moondancer shouted at her.

“Okay, okay! Um… are you sure you’ve read every book?”

“The Canterlot Library has every book ever made, and I’ve read them all.”

“Even the ones…” Twilight gulped. “In the adult section?”

“I’m lonely, okay!?”

Twilight snickered at the blushing nerd. Moondancer tugged at her sweater sleeves.

“Alright, alright. I understand. Now, just because you’ve read everything, it doesn’t mean that your days of learning are at an end. You can learn many things that aren’t written in books. Heck, you can write your own books!”

“Twilight, have you seen me write? I write worse than a teenager making a bunch of comedy stories based off a children’s cartoon!”

“Nonsense, Moondancer. You’ve written plenty of great stuff! Like… uh…”

Moondancer raised a curly eyebrow at the lavender alicorn.

“Okay, yes, you’re not that great of a writer. But… you can still learn many things! Why read ink on paper when you can experience things for themselves? Instead of looking at a picture of a plant, go and look at that plant in person. Instead of reading about spells, try performing that spell. You get what I’m saying?”

“Are you saying I should do something exciting with my life instead of stay holed up in my house like the antisocial mare that I am?”

“Well, yeah! Make something special out of your life! Have some fun for once!”

“Fun? That sounds great and all, but it could never fill my desire for the fresh smell of dried ink on parchment.”

“Can you shut up about books for one second!?”

“Well how would you like it if you knew everything!? How would you like it if reading your precious books was suddenly pointless!?”

“That’s because I have a life outside of learning! I have a pupil to tend to! I have magic to practice! I even have some dang friends that I actually interact with on a daily basis!”

Moondancer stared blankly at her. Tears began welling up in her eyes. “Twilight… you don’t understand. I used to have something to comfort me during my bad days. It’s gone now. And I can’t reclaim it.”

Twilight sighed. “I’m sorry, Moondancer. But you need to come to grips with this. I’ve told you this before. There’s more to life than being buried to your muzzle in books.”

“No, don’t be sorry. It’s me who’s at fault here. I’m just a dang nerd. A nerd with all the knowledge in Equestria and no way to express it.”

Twilight trotted over to her and looked deep into her eyes. “You’re one of the smartest ponies I know, Moondancer. Heck, you might be smarter than me in terms of book smarts. I mean, you understood quantum mechanics at age 7! It took me until age 9 to learn that!”

Moondancer giggled and wiped her tears. “Heh. Well, I’m not one to brag.”

“The point is, just because your journey of learning is at an end, it doesn’t mean that your life has become pointless. You can share your knowledge with your friends. I’m sure they would be astounded by your knowledge of timberwolf genetics!”

Moondancer smiled and hugged her friend close. “Thank you, Twilight. You’re such a wonderful pony.”

“Anytime. I am the princess of friendship after all,” Twilight said with a smile.

Moondancer held her friend closely as tears streamed down her face. The pain in her heart was slowly being filled with joy.

“Twilight! It’s a letter from the princess!”, said a purple dragon as he bursted into the room.

“What!? At this hour!? That never happens! Must be something urgent.” She grabbed the scroll in her telekinetic grasp and opened it up, reading it aloud.

Dear Princess Twilight,

Sorry for the interruption. It has come to my attention that Moondancer has read every book in Equestria. Because of this impressive achievement, it is with my great honor that I hereby dub her “Princess Moondancer, Princess of Books and Knowledge.” I’ll do the whole transporting-her-to-a-space-dimension-and-having-her-reflect-on-her-life-while-I-sing-an-annoying-song thing in a little bit. Just let me finish this delicious cake with Luna.

~Princess Celestia

Twilight hopped around the room with glee. “OMIGOSH OMIGOSH OMIGOSH YOU’RE A PRINCESS NOW!!”

Moondancer was puzzled. “Um, do I have to? Can’t I just be a regular nerd instead of a nerd with wings?”

“Oh don’t worry. Being a princess is fun! Everypony gets to respect you and you meet lots of famous ponies! Not only that, but you get expensive, non-accurate toys based off of you for the fillies to play with! They even sing lame songs and talk about brushing hair!”

Moondancer tugged at her sweater awkwardly. “Um, that’s great and all, but what would I have to do?”

“I imagine your job will only involve prereading books waiting to be published and making speeches about botany or whatever.”

“But… do I keep the sweater?”

“I can’t see why not.”

Moondancer smiled. “Look out world. Here comes Princess Egghead.”

Twilight stared blankly at the new princess.

“Don’t ever say that again”

Author's Note

What am I doing with my life?

Thanks to my friend MyoticTeseract for editing this. <3