It's Gonna Get Weird

by Joker the Hedgehog

Rating: teen
Tags: Anthro, Main 6, Gravity Falls, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Other, Adventure, Sex, Discord, Violence, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 5372

After his defeat in Grunkle Stan's mind, Bill Cipher finds himself bound to the magical land of Equestria in human form. Needless to say, madness ensues. Can the power of friendship help Bill to reform, or will Equestria fall prey to Weirdmageddon?

When the notorious dream demon Bill Cipher invoked the name of the Axolotl his last-ditch attempt to save himself from facing the punishment for his many, many crimes, he didn't know what would happen afterward. The last thing he expected, however, was to be bound in human form, trapped in a magical land of two-legged talking horses, and, despite retaining a fair portion of his powers, unable to leave said dimension. However, when the Elements of Harmony accidentally release him from the magical artifact that he was trapped within, that's exactly what happens. Quickly setting up shop in Ponyville by raising his Fearamid over the ruins of the Golden Oaks Library, Bill Cipher begins searching for a way to restore his full power in order to escape this dimension and wreak havoc upon Gravity Falls once more. However, Bill quickly finds himself dealing with several complications with his plans caused by an old rival of his from the dimension he once called home. Striking a bargain with the Mane 6, Bill finds himself fighting alongside the Elements of Harmony, and his long-lost baby brother Discord against the demonic henchmen of Will Crytogram. Will Bill stay loyal to the Mane 6 or will the world fall to an even worse Weirdmageddon than the one Gravity Falls experienced? Will Equestria still be in one piece after all of this is over? Will Discord and Bill reconcile after all this time? Will I find my house keys?

One thing's for sure: it's gonna get weird.

Published 2017-09-09 12:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-09-23 13:13:37 UTC

Another Form, Another Time

Author's Note

Greetings Gotham, Joker here! Well, I've been itching to do another Bill Cipher in Equestria project, so I came up with this, repurposed from my old Displaced project that I worked on with Pyraflare Bullet back when we were still friends, before we had our falling out. Anyways, it is my hope that I can hopefully actually finish thing once and for all. AND THEN WORK ON THE 57 SEQUELS! Okay, I'm kidding. Let's just start this thing before I do something I'll regret later.

Another Form, Another Time

Hello, there, readers! So, you decided to see just what this little story was all about, didja? Of course you did, why else would you give this story a click? Huh? How do I know this is just a fanfiction, rather than an account of actual happenings in a parallel world separated by time and space?

Oh, I know lots of things… LOTS OF THINGS…

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering just who the Hell I am. Name’s Bill Cipher, master of the mind and wielder of unimaginable god-like power! Oh, but I’m not just your garden variety Triangle Guy Bill Cipher who’s stuck in the dreamscape. At least, not anymore thanks to Sixer and his idiot twin brother. Oh, no, I have a physical, HUMAN, form.

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering how exactly I ended up getting stuck in a land of talking two-legged magical horses. Well then pull up a chair, grab your favourite snack and get ready for a tale you'll remember for like a few days then will come back to since it's been in the back of your head for the past few days and it's starting to annoy you as you can't remember where you heard a quote from then you go home and google it only to find it was your first guess to begin with and you wasted five minutes searching it up when you could have been looking at funny cat gifs or pictures of cute jumping spiders wearing water droplets as tiny hats.

Now, where to start… I guess the beginning is always the best place right?

…

Gravity Falls, Oregon-Bill Cipher’s Fearamid-Final Day of Weirdmageddon

“All right, Ford! Time’s up! I’ve got the kids!” said a giant triangle with one eye and stick-like black arms and legs wearing a top hat and a bow tie as he entered the throne room of the castle he had constructed, called the Fearamid, in the center of which were two old men trapped in an energy cage. This was Bill Cipher, the harbinger of death by weirdness for all of humanity, and in his hand he held two children, a boy wearing a blue and white trucker’s hat with a pine tree on it named Mason, but nicknamed Dipper, and a girl wearing a shooting star sweater named Mabel.

One of the old men in the cage wore a maroon fez and and old fashioned suit, while the other wore a tan trench coat, a maroon sweater, black pants, and boots. The man in the suit was named Stanley Pines, while the other old man was named Stanford Pines, who was directly responsible for bringing Bill Cipher intro the physical world, and thus allowing him to unleash his weirdness upon the world.

“I think I’ll kill one of ‘em just for the heck of it!” Bill said as he got read to snap the fingers of his other hand while his eye switch back and forth between a shooting star and a pine tree.

“Eeny… meeny… miney… YOU!”

Before Bill could snap his fingers and end the life of Mabel Pines, Stanford called out, “WAIT! I surrender!”

“Good choice,” said Bill as he dropped Dipper and Mabel and shrunk back down to his regular size.

Stanley grabbed Stanford by the front of his trench coat. “Don’t do it, Ford! It’ll destroy the universe!” he begged before Stanford pulled his hands away.

“I have to! It’s the only way!” said Ford.

Bill couldn’t help but laugh as his made the cage disappear. “Oh, even when you’re about to die, you Pines twins just can’t get along!”

Glowing red hands came out of the floor and tied themselves around Stanley and pulled him to the ground.

“My only condition, is that you let my brother and the kids go!” demanded Ford.

“Fine,” said Bill.

“No, Grunkle Ford, don’t trust him!” Dipper called out.

Ford said nothing in reply as he walked forward with a determined look on his face.

“It’s a DEAL!” Bill said as he held out his flaming blue hand for Ford to shake.

Taking a deep breath, Ford took Bill’s hand and sealed the deal, quite possibly dooming the universe in doing so.

Bill’s body then began turning to stone as what seemed to be a glowing spectral version of him floated into the air, laughing manically as it rubbed its hands together and made a beeline directly for Ford, who could only gasp in horror as Bill dove into his mind.

…

"Oh, I'm here. I'm finally here!" Bill said, feeling like a kid at Christmas as he floated through the empty white space of his old pawn’s mind and towards the only door in sight. Once he had that equation, the barrier keeping Gravity Falls’ weirdness contained would be shattered, Weirdmageddon would be unleashed upon the world proper, and no one could stop him.

"Look at this place. A perfect, calm, orderly void,” Bill said as he landed in front of the wooden door and opened it. “Gotta hand it to you, Ford. You really know how to clear your m..."

Bill stopped short when he saw that he had entered the living room of the Mystery Shack. And sitting in the armchair was not Stanford, but rather Stanley Pines, who turned to Bill and winked at him while flashing a toothy grin and clicking his tongue.

"WHAT?!" Bill exclaimed, his eye widening in shock. How could he, the Master of Mind, the Trickiest of Tricksters, have been fooled by a senile old man like Stanley Pines?!

Stan chuckled as he pointed to"Do a pretty good impression of my brother, don't I? Switch clothes and no one can tell us apart. Welcome to my mind, surprised you didn't recognize it."

"WHAT?! The deal's off!" Bill said in anger but before he could leave, the door behind him slammed shut. Bill immediately ran over to it and started banging on it, only for blue flames to spring up out of nowhere and start burning the room into nothingness.

"What the-?! No, no, no, NO!" cried Bill, as he backed away from the door. For the first time in one trillion years, he was starting to feel afraid.

Stan, meanwhile, leaned back in his chair without a care in the world, apparently very cozy despite the situation. "Oh yeah, you're going down Bill. You're getting erased. Memory Gun, pretty clever, huh?"

The flames had now spread to fill the entire room. Bill backed away from Stan as what microscopic traces of his heart remained started thumping with pure terror.

"Y-you idiot! Don't you realize you're destroying your own mind too?!" said Bill, fear evident in his voice.

"Eh, it's not like I was using the space for much anyway,” Stan said, as though having his mind and memories erased meant absolutely nothing to him whatsoever.

This is a joke. I-it has to be! Bill thought, feeling more terrified than he had been in centuries, millennia even, as he snapped his fingers and tried to escape, only for his blue flames to disappear almost instantly. "Let me outta here! Let me out! Why isn't this working?"

His fear finally won out as Bill fell to his knees and actually started weeping helplessly, knowing he was doomed to die.

Stan got up from his chair and stood over Bill, his shadow making the old man seem more imposing than he actually was in real life. "Hey, look at me. Turn around and look at me, you one-eyed demon!" the old con-man demanded in anger.

Bill didn't want to look, he really didn't, but he had no choice. Bill turned around and looked Stan in the eyes. In the oldster’s eyes, Bill could see them burn with a fire of their own.

Stan glared daggers at Bill as he pointed an accusing finger at the fallen chaos god."You're a real wise-guy, but you made one fatal mistake! You messed with my family!".

"You're making a mistake! I'll give you anything. Money! Fame! Riches! Infinite power! Your own galaxy! Please!" Bill begged, sheer terror in his voice as the flames inched ever closer to him and Stan.

"NO!" yelled Stan angrily.

Bill tried to toss his eyeball out of the con-man’s mind in the hopes that he could regenerate from it, however he somehow glitched as though he were a hologram, causing his eye to return to its socket, and leaving Bill still stuck in his increasingly bleak situation.

"What's happening to me?!” Bill bellowed as his triangular form continued to glitch before it twisted and morphed into a variety of different shapes and sizes as he shouted what sounded like utter gibberish, most likely caused by his glitchy shapeshifting.

"!nruter yam I taht rewop tneicna eht ekovne I !nrub ot emoc sah emit yM !L-T-O-L-O-X-A”

“STANLEEEEY!" Bill cried as he reached out for Stan in desperation, although he didn’t know why for sure.

All it took was one punch directly to Bill Cipher’s eye to make him shatter like glass and turn his world to black.

…

Another World, Another Time…

“Come on, girls! We’re almost at the temple!” said an anthro purple alicorn mare with a dark blue mane and tail, both of which had a magenta stripe in it, who was clad in a full explorer’s outfit, complete with a miner’s hat and equipment belt. This was Princess Twilight Sparkle of Friendship.

Panting right behind her were five similarly dressed mares and a teenage purple and green dragon with medium-sized wings, who was holding the map. Two of the mares were pegasi, two were Earth Ponies, and the fifth was a unicorn. One of the pegasi was blue and had a rainbow-patterned mane and tail. This was Rainbow Dash. The second pegasus was a buttery yellow and had a soft pink mane and tail. This was Fluttershy.

One of the Earth Ponies was orange in color and had a blonde mane and tail, and wore a brown Stetson hat upon her head. This was Applejack. The second Earth Pony was completely pink, right down to her bushy mane and tail. This was Pinkie Pie.

The unicorn had a purple mane and tail and a white coat, and looked like she’d rather be anywhere but here in the Everfree Forest. This was Rarity.

“Twilight, ya mind tellin us why we're tryin ta find some temple in the Everfree Forest?” asked Applejack while using her seston to shield her eyes from the harsh rays of sunlight that pierced through the thorn infested greyish blue leaves above them.

“Zecora said that this temple contains a very special ingredient to one of her medical brews, it's also said to hold a strange artifact placed there by a spiritual entity.” Twilight explained with obvious excitement.

“Somethin tells me that yer not really goin there ta help Zecora, ya seem pretty excited about this here relic, just promise me that ya won't get sidetracked.” The farm pony said in deadpan.

“Don't worry Applejack, helping my friends is my top priority.”

Spike, the young dragon, looked down at his map. “The temple should be just up ahead, here, girls,” he informed his friends.

And, sure enough, just as the six ponies and dragon moved aside some foliage, there it was; a vast, imposing stone temple, dominated by what looked like a triangle with one eye at the top. The glaring look of the triangle’s eye made everypony’s spines shiver with fear.

“Let’s just get that herbal ingredient and get out of here while we still can,” said Rainbow Dash, a hint of fear in her voice.

And so, the intrepid explorers made their way into the temple. It wasn’t long, however, before they got themselves lost.

“Now which way do we go?” asked Spike, fear evident in his voice.

Twilight used her magic to light up her horn, giving light to the dim temple. Looking around, the alicorn princess was able to find an open doorway.

“Come on, girls, this way!” she said.

Following Twilight’s lead, the ponies and dragons swiftly made their way into the room beyond the door that Twilight had found. Looking around, they discovered that the room was overrun with herbs. A few holes in the dome ceiling lit the room, rays of sunlight spread out around the chamber.

“Well, I may have ruined my roughing it outfit, but at least we found those herbs Zecora so desperately needed,” said Rarity.

“Hey, girls, look over there!” said Twilight, pointing to an area just over on the far side of the room that was lit by a large ray of light.

The others followed her finger to find that there was a small golden triangle on a pedestal on that side of the room.

“Is that… the artifact?” Fluttershy asked as she inspected it.

Twilight pulled out a book from the bag she had been carrying and began flipping through the pages until she came across a page with a black symbol of a triangle with an eye. “Yes, this is it.” Twilight began reading through the paragraphs of the page. “It says that whatever we do, we mustn't touch it with our bare hands.”

“What?” Rainbow Dash said as she poked the triangle with her index finger.

“Rainbow!” Everyone in the room shouted. The small artifact began to glow, causing all of the mares and Spike to shield their eyes and back away. It shook violently and floated into the air before it started bouncing around the room, causing everypony present to start hopping about as though they were dodging machine gun fire. Finally, the artifact stopped bouncing around the room and hovered in the center of the room before exploding. The yellow flames of the blast froze before converging on one spot to create a humanoid figure, which floated in midair.

As the ponies approached the figure, they noticed that the figure didn’t seem to have any fur, save for a patch of bubbly yellow fur on top of his head. He also had jet black, razor-sharp claws. He wore a yellow tailcoat with a strange, brick-like pattern on the tails and cuffs, a black vest with a what looked like a golden pocket watch in its pocket, a white dress shirt, black dress pants, black dress shoes, and a black top hat with a yellow stripe. Over his right eye was a black eyepatch with a design similar to that of the artifact on it.

“What in the wide, wide world of Equestria is that thing? And who taught him his fashion sense? It’s just so… bizarre!” said Rarity.

The figure opened its eye and continued floating in the air. “AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ohhhhh, free at last! I don't know how much longer I could have spent in there without going insane! Oh wait, I already am!” The figure’s voice was echoed and slightly high pitched. Looking around the room he spotted the mares and their dragon assistant.

“So you guys are the ones that freed me eh? Well thank you kindly ladies and dragonmen, you have no idea how much this means to me! Here, have some ice creams in the shapes of your heads.”

The figure snapped his fingers and ice cream cones with ice cream that matched the groups colours with the shape of their faces appeared in their hands, much to their confusion.

“Well, now that I've rewarded you for setting me free, I guess I can make my exit and head back home. Toots!” The being said before it snapped its fingers, paused, a look of confusion on its face before it started repeatedly snapping its fingers, as though trying to get something to happen. “Okay, not only am I bound in my bones, but I’m also trapped in this dimension, which means I can’t get revenge on the Pines and Gravity Falls for what they did to me. Bummer.”

Twilight and the others, save for Pinkie Pie, who was happily licking her ice cream double, weren't exactly sure what to make out about all of this. “Umm… excuse me?” she asked the floating figure. “Who or what are you exactly?”

“Huh? Oh, name’s Bill Cipher!” said Bill, tipping his top hat to the girls, and as a result, causing gravity itself to tilt with it, knocking everyone except Bill off their feet. “And you seven are Princess Twilight Sparkle, Rarity Elise Belle, Rainbow ‘Danger’ Dash, Pinkamena Diane “Pinkie” Pie, Applejack Apple, Fluttershy, and Spike the Dragon, Twilight’s assistant and/or slave.”

As Bill named off each pony, that pony’s jaw dropped like a sack of bricks as they were strongly reminded of Discord. “H-how do you know our names?!” asked Twilight in shock.

“Oh, I know lots of things, Miss Sparkle,” replied Bill, before his eye turned from its normal white and yellow to black and red and his voice got deeper. ”LOTS OF THINGS…” before his eye and voice returned to normal. “Well, since I have no idea where I am or how I got here, or how I got in human form, I guess I’m stuck with you lovely ladies! So, what are we waiting for, Hearth’s Warming? Come on, let’s blow this popsicle stand!”

And with that, Bill floated out of the room, with the stares of the Mane 6 and Spike following right behind him.

“Well, Mr. Cipher certainly seems… eccentric,” said Fluttershy.

“Anyone wanna tell Discord we found his long-lost cousin?” asked Rainbow, looking between her friends.

“Well, in any case, we should probably grab the herbs and get out of here. Besides, somepony needs to have a word with him about his fashion sense,” said Rarity. The group all nodded before picking up a few bunches of the glowing cyan plants. Once their hands were full, they began following Bill out of the temple, not knowing what would happen now that there were what seemed to amount to two Discords running around the place.

In all honesty, it seemed to be too much to hope for things to remain peaceful in Ponyville, if not all of Equestria, for long.

CODE RED!!!!

Inside a small hut in the middle of the Everfree Forest, a female zebra wearing a set of dirt brown robes along with various bits of jewelry was putting together a potion of some kind in a large cauldron. This was Zecora, and she was the only one brave enough to live in this strange forest.

As Zecora continued to work on her potion, adding more ingredients to the mixture, someone knocked on her door.

“I will be with you soon, first I must add the Essence of Moon,” said Zecora, adding the contents of a small, dark blue vial to her mixture before she made her way over to her door and opened it. There, she was greeted by the sight of Princess Twilight Sparkle, her friends, and…

At the sight of Bill Cipher, Zecora cried out as she fell backwards onto her hidequarters and began to scoot herself away from the yellow and black clad being until she hit the far wall of her hut.

“Have you all gone mad?! What you’ve unleashed will bring results far beyond bad!” said Zecora, terror evident in her voice.

The six ponies and dragon all gave Bill looks, to which he just shrugged. “Zecora, what are you talking about?” Princess Twilight asked the zebra on the floor, although she had a pretty good idea what the zebra meant.

“That being in yellow is no ordinary fellow! He is Bill Cipher! A sinister trickster and devious monster!”

“Aww c’mon that's a little unfair dontcha think? I haven't done anything to hurt anyone *cough* yet *cough* so there's no need to be afraid.” Bill moved his head to avoid a small empty bottle thrown at him.

“You are never one to fulfill your promise. How do I know that you are being honest?” The zebra asked with hostility.

“Okay, I'm gonna be serious here for a moment. All I want is to find a way back home, back to Gravity Falls,” Bill said as he floated down to Zecora. “That's all. I have no interest in you or these ponies, all I want is a way back to Gravity Falls.” His voice was now demanding. “I know you know the way back home for me. I have scores to settle back in Gravity Falls, and the sooner I get back there to settle those scores, the sooner I'll be outta your hair, manes, or whatever."

Zecora took a moment to think before she heaved a sigh. “It is true, this crone knows your way back home. However, to this dimension you will be forever bound, until what you lost becomes found,” she said.

Bill nodded in understanding. “Thank you, Zecora,” he said, floating out of the hut, muttering something that sounded like “Now, what exactly did I lose here?”

Twilight and her friends just stared at him as he left, then turned their attention to Zecora.

“What's with him? When we met he was like Discord with a dash of Pinkie Pie, now he's calm and determined. You aren’t a spy of his, are you?” asked Rainbow Dash, glaring suspiciously at Zecora.

Twilight pushed Rainbow back and turned to Zecora. “How do you know so much about him?”

“Stories of my homeland of the traditional kind, speak of a monster who can break an entire world’s mind,” said Zecora, using her fingers to make a triangle over her left eye. “‘When Gravity Falls and the Earth becomes the Sky, beware the beast with just one eye.’”

Twilight and the others gulped and looked amongst themselves in fear of what that Bill character might do to not just Equestria, but the entire WORLD if somepony didn’t keep an eye on him.

Twilight turned to face her friends. “Well, girls, I think we know what we have to do,” she said, her voice full of confidence.

“Go kick that Bill guy’s ass back to whatever hole he crawled out of, right?” Rainbow Dash said, eagerly punching her fist into her open

“We have to go after Bill and help him find his way back home. But, more importantly, we have to keep him from destroying the entire world if it comes down to that,” said Twilight, earning nervous looks from her friends. “Oh, come on, girls. He’s no different than Discord when push comes to shove. We can handle him, I know we can.”

“I wish what you say was true, but an assumption like that you will rue,” said Zecora, shaking her head. “Bill Cipher may act similar to the Chaos God, true, but his power is far greater than him, the Canterlot Royalty, or any of you. And what’s more, keeping him in line will be no easy chore. Bill is not known for his meekness. He only has one true weakness.”

“And, what, pray tell is that flying fashion disaster’s weakness? We’ll need to know it if we’re going to be able to rein him in.” said Rarity, to which the others nodded in agreement.

“I’m afraid the knowledge is not mine. Bill’s weakness has been forever lost to time,” replied Zecora, resulting in a facepalm from the six ponies and the dragon present.

“Well, we may not know what Bill’s weakness is, but I suppose if all else fails we can just get the Elements of Harmony from the Tree and use them against him,” said Twilight, to which the others nodded in agreement. “Now, then, I suppose we should go find him before he destroys a small country or something.”

After saying their goodbyes to Zecora, the six ponies and their dragon assistant headed out for Ponyville in search of Bill Cipher.

…

So, this Ponyville, thought Bill as he floated through the town, twirling his cane as he checked out the scenery. Very quaint and peaceful, actually. Boy, is THAT gonna change once I-

Bill stopped in mid-thought, having started to pick up chatter from the townsfolk via his telepathy… and it was all about HIM.

What is that big yellow and black creature?

How’s that thing flying without wings?

Is it dangerous?

Let’s follow it!

MUFFINS!

As the chatter inside Bill’s mind began to increase, so did the number of curious ponies that were following him, until, finally, he had at least two herds of whispering two-legged Unicorns, Earth Ponies, and Pegasi following him.

Well, it’d be rude just to ignore them, so I guess I’d better introduce myself! thought Bill before his entire head turned a full 180 degrees to face the crowd following him, causing a few ponies to jump and cry out.

“Hey, everypony! My name’s Bill Cipher, dream demon extraordinaire and Master of The Mind!” Bill said. He turned his body around tipped his hat to them. “Now! I'm sure you're all wondering what I am and what I'm doing here. Well I'm just looking for a place to build my home while I look for something. Don't worry I'm not here to hurt any of you, I may pull the occasional prank now and then but mostly I'll just try and liven things up around here, starting with,” Bill put a finger to his chin in thought, “oh I know!”

He snapped his fingers and the children in the crowd floated into the air. Everyone gasped and glared at the dream demon.

“Give it a second.”

The children started to float about on their own, laughing and smiling as they flew. The townsfolk calmed down and smiled as their children played in the sky. “See? I'm just here to bring a little bit of fun into your lives. Don't think I left all of you out.” With a snap of his fingers all of the grown ups were placed in bouncy castles. A few of them looked unsure, but one decide to have a little bounce and smiled as they relived some childhood memories.

Soon the rest began bouncing and a smile was on every face.

There, that should put me on their good side for now, thought Bill. Looking around he nodded in satisfaction before turning away.

“Hey Bill!” The mane six and Spike had caught up to him and looked around in confusion. “What's going on here?” Twilight asked as she looked around. Bill slowly rose up from the ground behind the group and wrapped an arm around Twilight's shoulder, causing the mare to jump at his sudden appearance.

“Oh I was just floating around when I noticed that things were a bit boring around here, so I decided to give the ponies here a little bit of fun. Looks to me like it's working.” Bill floated up to the front of the group and twirled his cane. “So, what do you lovely ladies and dragon want to do first?”

Twilight looked at him cautiously. “Why don't we show you around?”

“Nah that won't do, I know almost everything, including the layout of the town.”

Twilight then thought for a moment. “How about I show you the ruins of Golden Oaks Library?” Bill shrugged and motioned for the group to take the lead. Smiling at the townsfolk one last time he followed Twilight and company onward, before he floated directly into someone.

“Hey! Watch where you’re-” the creature, known as Discord, who was a mash up of a variety of creatures and wore a brown suit with an ugly yellow tie with brown spots, before he stopped short. Small black dotted lines went from Discord’s eyes directly to Bill. After a few quiet tense moments, Discord screamed and pulled out a walkie-talkie.

“All units, we have a code red! Bill Cipher on the premises!” Discord said into the walkie-talkie as a number of duplicates, most of them wearing tactical gear of various colors appeared out of nowhere, all of them shouting “Code red!” at the top of their lungs.

“All right, boys, follow me!” said a Discord duplicate who was wearing a plaid kilt over his suit before he and other duplicates like him started playing bagpipes and began marching towards Bill.

“Calvary, forward!” ordered a Discord clone who was dressed up like a member of the United States Cavalry and riding a four-legged pony that had a stone gray coat and no mane or tail, who then began leading a horde of similar Discord clones riding similar ponies into battle.

Elsewhere, a group of Discord clones were coming into battle driving what seemed to be giant sword vehicles of some kind. There was one Discord clone who stood atop one of the sword-vehicles.

“Drive me closer! I vish to hit him with my tank!” said the Discord clone with a Russian accent, pulling a tortoise attached to a gyrocopter from out of nowhere.

Huh? How’d I get here?! Tank the Tortoise thought in utter confusion.

“Hey! Give me that!” yelled Rainbow Dash as she zoomed up to the Discord clone and pulled her pet tortoise out of his lion paw and cradling him like he was her child. “Oh, my poor boy…” she said, leaving the Discord clone to shrug and pull out a full-sized tank to use as a melee weapon.

Overhead, a old airplane flew with what appeared to be Discord Paratroopers jumping out of it.

“Geronimo!” yelled one of the Discord Clones.

"Avocado!" yelled the clone who jumped out second.

"Buffalo!" yelled the third Discord clone before he jumped out of the plane.

The fourth Discord clone, who was miniature and dressed up as a buffalo, yelled “Little Strongheart!” before he too jumped out of the plane.

Within a matter of moments, Bill’s entire body was lit up red from various sniper rifles, rocket launchers, and other weaponry pointed at him.

”Do not attempt to move, or we’ll be shooting ourselves!” said a Discord clone through a bullhorn.

“Discord! What the Tartarus are you doing?!” demanded Twilight before a Discord Clone elbowed her back.

“Stay back ladies, this creep’s got a yellow sheet as long as my arm!” the clone said as his arm stretched around the entire world before forming a wall to protect the Mane 6.

“Now, Discy, you aren’t still upset over that little… incident… that happened back home, are you?” Bill Cipher said nervously.

“INCIDENT?! You killed our father!” yelled one of the Discord clones, before the rest of them started shouting off names.

“Our mother!”

“Our sister!”

"Our little brother! He took after you, you know!"

“And let's not forget little Moe with the gimpy leg!”

“And while we're at it, let’s not forget our entire dimension! I literally had to piece myself back together with whatever I could find after what you did!” yelled one of the clones.

"Oh, that's why you look so different. Here I was thinking it was a new haircut," said Bill.

“HOLD ON A SECOND!” yelled Pinkie Pie as everyone turned to look at her. “How exactly do all of you and Bill over there know each other?”

All of the Discord clones turned to glare daggers at Bill before one of them, presumably the original Discord, spoke.

“He’s my brother.”

Everyone turned to look at Rainbow Dash, who was still holding her pet tortoise as he were her newborn foal.

“What? We were all thinking it, I was just saying it,” said Rainbow.

Author's Note

Well, that was certainly fun! Also, if you can figure out where I got that Code Red bit from, you win all the lint in my pocket. In the meantime, be sure to fave, follow, like, and comment! And remember: dying is easy, comedy is hard!