The Chase Is On

by HorsesandMOARGaloar

Rating: everyone
Tags: Science Fiction, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Discord, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Original Character
Length: 9555

Three horses try to escape from the ponies' attempts to assimilate him into their herd, and are being helped by some goblins. Will they make it?

Having escaped the destruction of their captors, three horses - Schubert, Blackie, and Burr - find themselves in Equestria, where the locals seek to forcibly assimilate them into their species.

Now, as several goblins whisk them away into different worlds, they will have to survive the seemingly-endless pursuit of the colourful ponies. Will the horses finally evade their cutesy pursuers, or will they be subjected to the magic of friendship?

[Author's note: Inspired by a lot of boredom, a lot of Internet surfing a few years ago that led me to liking this pony show, and "Get Him!" I like seeing ponies and ridiculous-looking characters get mad and chase someone.]

Published 2017-11-18 20:00:10 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-11 13:26:30 UTC

Celebration

Moments ago, they were running away from a collapsing laboratory; and now they were standing within Ponyville's town square, surrounded by a sea of diminutive ponies in front of a stockade of cottages. They were almost dizzy from the wall of bright colors and cheers all around them, as they questioned their current location.

"Aren't we supposed to be at home, Blackie?" a stubby brown Shetland pony asked. "This Egweshtcha place doesn't look like my farm at Idaho. At least I ought to find a tasty sandwich somewhere."

"I did not have time to think, Schubert," replied Blackie, the tall Arabian horse. "There was water and lava outside the room, and most of the portals around us are quickly shutting down, so I had to lead you all to the nearest functioning portal. It also looks brighter out there!"

"By the First Mother," Burr-Hurr-Hurr the Houyhnhnnm muttered, "what kind of Yahoo place is this?!" Normally this intelligent white equine kept himself calm and eloquent, even while he and his two friends tried to leave the destruction and cruelty behind the portal. Here in this bizarre realm of flowery horse-creatures, everything was too unnerving, too whimsical, and too childish for his refined tastes, leaving the poor savant shuddering over the strangeness of that world he is in.

As for the others, the winged horse Pegasos has successfully returned to his world (and appeased the wrath of the Gods), while several others failed to make it. The fourth survivor, General Inky Tatters, marched to them in a suit of shiny golden armor with some of his guards.

"Thank you, guys," he saluted, "for helping me saving our world from Dr. Avtokratos' schemes. He forced us to fight and die again and again, but you three have put it to a stop."

"Actually, Inks, It wasn't us. It was a bunch of ugly people from outer space who saved your world, and a few angry Gods as well," Blackie answered. "This is just getting more weird with each passing moment ... "

"You'll get used to it, Blackstone," the pony with a white coat and a black mane answered. "What you consider to be 'normal' is weird to us, so we are not so different after all." He gestured to him and the other two horses. "Come on, your reward's this way."

While Blackie and Schubert went on, Burr was still quaking and muttering as he tries to comprehend the world around him. Its ponies . The terrified equine was then dragged away, kicking and screaming for help, by a purple glow on his legs.

"Burr, it's not as bad as you think it is," another voice cooed. "Everything will be okay."

~~~

The three equines reached a maroon platform with several arches and columns behind draped with blue and gold banners. Standing on the dais was a slender white mare, clad in a crimson dress. Next to her is a blue mare in dark blue robes cornered with golden stars and moons along the rim of her attire. Inky and all the other colorful ponies and creatures made a little bow once the two winged unicorns flew to the dais.

The white mare cleared her throat. "I, Princess Celestia, Guardian of the Day,"

"And, I, Princess Luna Selene, Keeper of the Night,"

"Hereby thank you for helping us drive the Avtokratorians out of our universe."

Celestia turned towards Inky Tatters. "For your role in weakening the invaders' communications, and helping us achieve victory, I promote you, Inky Tatters, to be among the Grand Generals, on par with Shining Armor, Trixie, and Sunset." Most of the ponies around them applauded as Celestia fastened a gleaming gold medal to his breastplate, before his girlfriend and his family swarmed him with their hugs.

"She seems to know a lot about human technology," whispered Schubert. "What kind of horse is as smart as her?"

"Perhaps she might not be a horse, but a creature more sinister than the Avtokratorians," Blackie answered. "Perhaps all this is either a trap, or she wants to take over our world, who knows?"

Then it was the two horses' turn. They were joined by a frightened Burr, who got himself magically dragged to the dais by a purple unicorn. As the unicorn turned her head around her magic caused Burr to stand upright. However horrifying and weird that realm is to his senses, he Houyhnhnnm had to stay calm, both to preserve his honor and to avoid any further harm from the equines around him.

"For your bravery, your service to Sir Tatters the Brave, and your defeat of Avtokratos the Devourer," Luna declared, "We declare you three to be honorary citizens of Equestria." The ponies around them cheered and applauded so loudly, that the trio folded their ears and turned their heads away.

"Defeating a web of fire using all sorts of unusable machinery, and having to live with a mad horde of screeching horse-like midgets? You all have got to be kidding me!" Blackie shouted. He turned towards Schubert. "No offense."

"None taken."

The crowd stopped their cheers upon hearing Blackie's remark. "We welcomed you, and this is how you treat us? You're not even a good friend!" They started booing and shouting all kinds of nasty things at the skinny black horse.

"I just want to get out of this mad place, that's why!" Blackie defiantly responded. The crowd got more angry. "I never wanted to become a deformed freak in a crazy world, like the rest of you!"

"Then you should not have cursed at us in the first place!" one pony countered.

"Go back to your stupid Earth if you don't like it here!"

~~~

Then Celestia shone a blinding flash of light from her horn.

"Our ceremony is not finished yet!" She turned towards Blackie, and asked, "Would you not be so rude this time?"

"Just send me back home already, and all will be fine," he answered.

"I'm afraid that you have no choice now." A wide smirk slowly grew along Celestia's face. "As your punishment, I hereby forfeit your right to return to your homeworld." She cooed into his ear. "You'll have to become part of our herd ~ "

Many of the angered ponies grinned with her, knowing that they will have their revenge once the three horses will be transformed. "Love and tolerance ... " they chanted, " ... love and tolerance, love and tolerance, love and tolerance ... " A swarm of pegasi and changelings flew circles around the three horses, covering the sky above them with dark clouds.

"I do not like the looks of this place, Blackie," Burr whispered. "We should leave if we can, as these creatures are too Yahoo to be reasoned with. We should go now!"

The two horses then set off, with Schubert following them. But what appeared to be a screen made of pink fire appeared right in front of them: when they turned around they found that the wall of fire is part of a dome, generated by the same purple alicorn that tormented Burr moments ago.

She flew towards the white Houyhnhnnm. "Burr," the alicorn purred, "didn't Celestia say that she is not finished with you and your friends yet?" She is followed by five more of her undergrown friends, all of which have been egging him and the other two.

A pink mare hopped around Schubert. "You can have all the friends and the fun that you want, Scooby!" she chirped. "Just let us help you love and tolerate us! It's very simple!"

She was followed by a white unicorn with a curled purple mane. "You three darlings need to learn to be proper ponies, so we will be your guides."

Blackie and Schubert devised a plan in their minds: they split up, expecting the startled Houyhnhnnm to run with them, so to confuse the purple pony and her friends. Once the weird mares will hurt each other while trying to catch them, the purple pony's magical roof will break down, and they can escape. As he was trying to comprehend his friends' bizarre plan the white unicorn used her magic to carry him in the air.

Three other unicorn mares attached magical pieces of gold and jewelry to her and her other five friends. One of them has a mane that looked like a blazing fire, the second was a blue mare with a mane as pale as a tablecloth, and the third is a nervous purple mare who questioned the worth of this action. Before they could surround Burr and perform some magic ritual to turn him into one of them, Schubert bumped the white unicorn, toppling her over and allowing Burr to break free and drop to the ground. Blackie ran into four of the other ponies and kicked the purple mare, sending her flying and breaking her dome of magic fire.

"Come on, Burr," Schubert urged. "Let us go!"

Angered by what Blackie has done to one of their alicorn rulers, the horde of ponies cried out, "Get them!" Like a torrent of clubs their hooves pounced unto the three horses, and beat them up as they furiously cursed at them. While each of the three horses were strong enough to kick or topple any one of those ponies, several ponies at once would become too heavy for them to handle. It was especially the ponies with no wings or hooves that were heaviest and most burdensome, and more so than Schubert's own weight.

~~~

But within the blink of an eye, everything stopped and the three horses could see what appears to be a blue light to Celestia's right. All the ponies that were attacking them froze like statues, but they were able to move their eyes to see an azure flash zip around from that blue light. One moment Schubert was struggling to free himself from the ponies that were wrestling him; and in another he was free, galloping with a short humanoid mounting his back. His two friends were running with him, with two more humanoids sitting on each of their backs, and beating their rumps with their riding crops.

In a few seconds the blue light behind them was gone, and they were being pursued by that horde of colorful ponies. Not wanting to get any further lashes or to have those diminutive monsters catch them and torture them, the three horses ran with all of their might towards a portal ahead of them. Behind the three horses and their riders, three ponies were flying to catch them. Two of them, the fastest fliers in Equestria, had wings, while the third (who seemingly appeared out of nowhere) was a happy blue unicorn stallion who swatted Schubert's rider in the head, knocking him unconscious and causing him to fall from his back. THe blue unicorn then latched unto the frightened Shetland's back.

"Hey there, stupid!" he shouted into Schubert's ears. "You think you could get away from us?!" He whipped out a lasso of napkins and tied it around Schubert's legs. While the other two riders were busy shooting and throwing grenades at their pursuers, the Shetland pony tripped and fell, while the blue unicorn landed on his hind feet. With a swipe of his napkin lasso the poor short horse was flipped into the air, and landed face-flat on the ground.

"Braeburn's got nothing on me and my skills!" he cried. But when Schubert got up and ran for the portal, he tried to pull him back with his napkin lasso. Schubert tried to run before anypony else may catch him: he broke free from the lasso, and dived straight into the portal, with the humanoid following him. The other two humanoids mounted his friends and rode into the portal.

(Art by ChainChomp2: http://chainchomp2.deviantart.com/art/When-Party-Favor-Corners-You-677897455)

Author's Note

"Love and tolerance" was a meme used by bronies in the early days of the fandom to mock their trolls. Although some bronies later adopted it as their ethos, it has later become an ironic joke to mock some fans' nasty reception, or it continued to be used as a mocking phrase.

Considering that it was sometimes said like an invitation to be controlled, or perhaps hypnotically, in this story it was used by the ponies as their synonym for literally ponifying unfortunate equines and humans into becoming more Equestrians like them. Who knows what sinister motives they had behind their "loving" facade, that the three horses were trying to escape from ... ?

Carousel

The three goblins rode through a tunnel of blue currents, and landed into what appeared to be a amusement park on an overcast summer's night. In place of the blinding array of colour in Ponyville and its coordinated chanting their three horses found themselves in a city of shining lights drowned in a cacophony of simultaneous digital music and conversations, punctuated by cheering and screaming everywhere.

The goblins dismounted from their horses. Their leader heard some beeping on a device fastened on his right wrist, and he pressed a button. A blue hologram of what appeared to be a humanoid in a uniform shot up from a screen.

"Come in, Aklaron, do you copy?" the hologram asked.

"This is Agent Aklaron, reporting for duty," the goblin leader responded. "I have extracted the three Earth horses out of that madhouse known as Equestria."

"What are our new orders, sir?" the second goblin responded. "This is Agent Tellaron reporting."

"And this is Agent Palloron reporting, too!" the third goblin joined in.

"You two be quiet when your leader is speaking!" Akloron scolded them. "Anyways, what's the plan, Commander Lochetofraitz?"

"The wrist devices that you and your squad members are wearing allow you to teleport into any nearby universe," their officer replied. "Use them, and bring the three horses to my base."

"How many jumps do we need?"

"It will take 67 jumps to reach my mothership, and you'll have to wait for around four days between every 7 jumps for your device to recharge. At least you can pillage the locals or help our allies to keep yourselves occupied, and I will reward you for any plunder you have gained."

While the very thought of more money from their optional plan delighted Akloron and Tellaron, Palloron wondered about his poor steeds' fates after capture. "And what are you going to do with the horses, anyway?" he asked. Palloron and his friend were then hushed to silence by their leader.

"I'm going to extract some hair or skin from them, use their samples find their home universe, and make it the new capital of the rebuilt Avtokratorian Empire."

"And what will you do with them afterwards?" Palloron asked again, and then his leader hushed him again.

"Use them in biological experiments, of course," Commander Lochetofriatz responded. "Inferior creatures as them and their pursuers do not even deserve an ounce of dignity. I want you three to bring them over here, and you better not lose your creatures like the incompetent clowns that you were. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir!" All three agents saluted to their officer, and his hologram subsided.

They returned to their horses, only to find that they had went missing.

"Now, where did they go?" Tellaron pondered, and his leader punched his belly.

"You ask them!" Akloron scolded. He then instructed Tellaron and Palloron, "Go and look for them yourself, you losers!"

Akloron had sighted one of the runaway steeds, Burr, who clumsily knocked over several frightened Yahoos. Their very appearance was so strange to that Houyhnhnnm, that they caused him to panic. "Where do you think you are going, fleabag?" the goblin leader cried to the frantic equine. "Come over here!"

Burr galloped behind a large green tent where visitors shot moving targets. Just as the white stallion rested his legs to drink a bottle of wine, Akloron appeared out of nowhere and tackled him, pinning the stallion to the ground.

"Now, I'll make sure that you'll never run away, bounty!" the goblin leader cackled. He whipped out a laser gun and set it to stun mode, before aiming his weapon at the horse's head. "Scream your 'goodnights' as soon as — !"

The assailant was shot in the chest, and his body tumbled behind. When Burr got himself up to investigate the source of the fiery beam of energy that saved him, he saw what appears to be a Yahoo woman wearing a black cloak that covered her face.

"I can help you, Burr," she gestured. "This way!"

Wary of the bizarre Yahoos that he encountered at his previous run, Burr walked behind as he stared nervously at the human's lavender hands. His sharp eyes also noticed the glow of her violet pupils piercing the shade of her face.

"Burr," the Yahoo woman cooed, "I'm not gonna hurt you. Trust me!"

"Th-th-those Y-yahoos here are getting weird, and you might be one of them, are you?!" the white stallion whimpered with worry.

"I am, but I'm a nice little Yahoo." She unveiled her lavender face and tidied her long purple hair. "I just want to take you back to your friends, that's all."

Burr had enough of her charades. "How could I trust you, strange Yahoo?" he asked. "You might as well be that evil purple mare, and you managed to follow me all the way to this place: perhaps you are a Ynlhmndwihlma Yahoo*, you monster!" Then Burr set off, keeping himself away from her and almost every light in the park.

"I'm not sure about that Yahoo you were saying," She focused her eyes at the fleeing horse, "but I'll get you with my tricks, and you'll not escape this time!"

Burr stepped into a wide alley, where he used the dim lights of the streetlamps, the signs, and any lighting from the food stalls and restrooms to guide his way into the growing darkness. As disgusted as he was from the stench and the litter, he felt that he had nowhere else to run to hide from the crowds of colourful Yahoos, and the goblins prowling about as they hunted him down.

"I surely hope that my friends will be safe," he muttered to himself, as he trotted down the puddle-dotted pavement. "They should find me here to avoid any more of those filthy Yahoos."

"Again, I'm willing to help." Burr stopped and saw, under the street lights several blocks ahead of him, the outline of a deformed pony. A flash of light flickered on the creature's horn, revealing her smiling face.

"You should't refuse the help of a friend," the unicorn grinned. "It will help you a lot someday."

Burr recognized who that unicorn was: she was the very same unicorn who used that strange pink fire to restrain him back in Equestria, and for this and the ridiculous antics of her herd she is never someone he could ever trust. With a stamp of his right forehoof and some dirt kicked unto her face, he turned away, but he was stopped by the same bright-eyed purple human that he encountered earlier.

"Trust me!" she cried. "I can help you, Burr, just as I saved your life!"

"I knew that it was you, Twilight Sparkle!" the Houyhnhnnm scolded. "You and your monstrous ponies always tried to keep me for some twisted purposes. Now what would they be?"

"To help you!" Twilight responded. Her eyes had been welling with tears. "All that we did in Equestria was for your own good, Burr. We're not the monsters that you think we are -- after all, we don't look like monsters, do we?"

When Burr turned again to get away from her, he found that he suddenly stopped. Something slowly turned his neck, and he saw that the human Twilight was raising her right arm, controlling his body with her magic with a serious glare. She brought the stubborn, irate Houyhnhnnm to look closely to her eyes.

"Burr, listen to me," she pleaded. "We'll find your friends, and solve your problems. I know how to -- "

Twilight got hit with a lump of green-blue slime, interrupting her talk and her magic and setting Burr free. Now that she has been reverted to being a unicorn, she turned behind and noticed that her back is starting to melt, like a lump of ice cream fried with a pan. Once she heard Burr's gallops, she struggled against her slithering body, as she gets reduced to an equine head sliding against the pavement. Even her horn has become a trail of lavender oil, to her horror.

"Burr!" the unicorn head wailed. "Come back! We nee-hee-heed you! Come baaaa -- Nooooooo ... !" Her sobs and her cries had sunk away into bubbling noises, and all the remained of Twilight was a purple splotch that stretched towards the startled Houyhnhnnm. He walked towards the puddle and sniffed its perfumed scent, as its substance mingled itself with the filthy waters on the road.

Burr heard footsteps, and he saw another Yahoo. His clothes are all as dark as the shadows around him and the white horse: his cowboy hat, his shirt, and his jeans blended with the darkness of the night. But underneath one of the streetlamps Burr can see that the Yahoo's skin has a sandy color.

"Who are you, new Yahoo?" the Houyhnhnnm asked. "At least you do not appear to be as those sickly Yahoos in this realm or Twilight in her weak disguise."

"You may call me 'Krastos'." The Yahoo loaded his gun. "My job here is to stop the crazy ponies from causing any harm. After so many years of struggling against the monsters of Discord's void," he muttered to himself.

"May you please explain?" the eavesdropping equine asked.

"Nothing," the Yahoo raised and shook his hand to refuse any further questions for the time being. "Anyways, your friends are heading towards a sort of ride into some tunnels, where they will get eaten by an enormous head."

This news shocked the Houyhnhnnm. "How can I get to the ride?" he asked. "I cannot afford any more trouble for this day!"

"Just go straight, and then turn to the right." Krastos gave his instructions, and the white horse sped off. "Thank you very much, gentle Krastos!" Burr whinnied, as he galloped into the darkness between the street lamps.

But as soon as Krastos thought that he could relax, the whole amusement park was bathed in moonlight (to the delight of the amusement park's guests from the moon's sheer beauty) that allowed him to see the alley's features more clearly. The clouds above him had scattered, as if something suddenly blew them away. Then he noticed that the purple puddle in front of him is glowing and bubbling. As it quickly receded and rose into its victim's shape, Krastos uncovered a dial on his left wrist and quickly pressed some buttons, and he vanished before Twilight could notice him. At first, she was still screaming from her bygone torment, until she realized that she has been restored.

"Twilight?" The purple pony turned around: although she recognized whoever who called her, she was still confused and troubled by her twisted turn of events.

"Princess Luna, is that you?" she asked back. "Who melted me?"

"Krastos just used a kind of slime that reduces ponies into more slime, and strangely enough, not even the most powerful magic spells can stop it." Luna appeared in front of her in the form of another Yahoo woman who wore a dress of dark blue and black. A cascade of shining blue hair flowed from her head. "For hunters like him, it was mainly used to capture ponies in darker places, but in your case he did so to stop you from retrieving Burr back to Equestria."

The purple unicorn thought for a while, and an idea flashed into her mind. "Maybe," she smirked and ruffled her wings, "if the Glue-Maker does that again, I'll call you or Princess Celestia for help!"

"Exactly. I have already said that hunters usually use the slime to catch ponies in darker places, because the sun's light and that of the moon negates the slime's powers."

"You must have been a nerd like me, Luna, for explaining so much," Twilight chuckled.

"I know a lot about Krastos and his poachers," Luna answered back. "Find Burr, and I will explain more in your adventure. Good luck!"

"I will." Twilight gave a little bow. "Oh, and thanks for saving me!" The amused blue Yahoo rubbed her mane and poked her nose, and she galloped away.

And so, she sniffed at the air for his horsey scent, and followed him, without forgetting to use her Yahoo-oid disguise first.

Author's Note

A "Yahoo" is a term Houyhnhnnms use to refer not only to the primitive humanoids who lived on their island nation, but also towards any human or humanoid, even to respectable people like Gulliver.

"Ynlhmndwihlma Yahoo" is a Houyhnhnnm language term that means "stone that cuts hooves" or "continued bad weather". In this context, it also means "a troublemaker".

You can say that the slime that hit Twilight is actually a kind of "Gak" that is harmful to the Equestrian ponies' biological structure (which may also cause them to develop a diminutive form), but it is not so lethal. It was used by bounty hunters to capture creatures like them.

"Krastos the Glue-maker" was a character from the early days of the fandom, originating from a joke question with "Chester the Cynical Adult".

Apparently, since Princess Luna was Nightmare Moon, and Nightmare Moon can control the weather, surely Luna can also share those abilities as well, just as she controls the moon (or moons and stars regardless of which planet she is on or in space).

Courses

Burr navigated a sea of complacent Yahoos to what appeared to be a roller coaster ride, with a long queue of irritated Yahoos ahead by the round ticket counter. It was exactly as what Krastos said, with a large head of of a clown devouring any coaches that went up a ramp, and what sounded like screams from the hills and buildings behind the tracks.

As a quadrupled, he was a curious oddity to the Yahoos around him. To them, he was either a weird, lanky animal, or a creature who could barely understand one of the Yahoos' languages. Some of the Yahoos recognised him as the rampaging beast that ran over and pushed aside several poor Yahoos, and they either avoided him or threw food at his long face. Seven of them stood in front of him and formed a barrier.

"Go away, zluesnico," their leader, a light blue man with a long neck, shouted at Burr. He brandished his knife, and continued, "We don't want you or your disgusting kind here in Palédera."

"Yeah, you weak deer," his dark green friend added. "You filthy sack of organs should get lost, before we'll cut you for autumn equinox dinner."

But another Yahoo emerged from behind the row of giants: a man in a vest-covered shirt and trousers, with red-and-white-streaked striped hair that graced his head and over his mouth. He was not as tall and burly as them, but he was as agile and witty as a fox.

"Pardon me, gentlemen," he introduced himself with a bow and a tip of his boatman's hat. The seven tall Yahoos bowed back to greet him, out of respect towards his status as one of the workers in this amusement park. "My name is Flamvóain Plaráscanesjen, and I have intended that this creature to be a special guest.

"But he is a disgusting lifeform with a reckless, skinny body, Sir Plascansen," a stumpy red Yahoo argued. "He will run around and injure your guests without even thinking!"

"And he won't fit into your carts, would he?" the blue Yahoo with a knife added. He was accompanied by his friends' laughter. "Much less fit properly on a seat belt."

"I'm afraid that's my boss's orders, gentlemen," Flamvóain answered. "He's coming with me, whether you like it or not, and my seat's just big enough for creatures like him. Also," the Yahoo whipped out a button, which formed a leash that wrapped itself around Burr's withers, electrocuting him if he ever struggles, "I will personally escort him myself."

"Then we'll speak to your ridiculous manager about this," the blue knife Yahoo shouted back, and turned to his six friends, "right, boys?" They resounded with "Yeah!"s and other curses all about.

"You may find her ... over there." Flamvóain pointed to his right. Unsure about his advice, the blue Yahoo stuck his knife to the mustached Yahoo's throat.

"We would rather go to jail to preserve our reputation, than to let a worthless liar get away with his pathetic trickery," the blue Yahoo yelled. "Are you sure or not, tree trunks?"

"Uh-huh," Flamvóain confidently answered. "I once spoke with her this afternoon."

The giants released him and left him with Burr, not without the green Yahoo turning back to spit at the Houyhnhnnm under his control. "We'll be back once we've finished speaking with her," the knife Yahoo threatened. "Take your foul steed and let it enjoy injuring itself on the ride! What manner of 'safety regulations' does this garbage dump of a park even have?!"

And Flamvóain led Burr past the queues of disgruntled Yahoos, up to the sparsely-used priority lane. "This is Selásnjen's invitation for Burr, brother of mine," Flamvóain presented a green paper slip to a similar-looking Yahoo man sitting within the ticket counter, who snatched it with his hand.

"Business as usual, brother," the manager spoke, before going back attending to the queue's visitors to his right. "You're clear to go!"

Burr was taken to a series of two long blue cars that fitted around a dozen passengers. His front seat was a bit narrow for him, but as he used to sit on chairs back in Houyhnhnnm Land, sitting there would not be a problem for him.

"How are you doing, Burr?" The Houyhnhnnm turned around: at first he was delighted that his two friends were behind him, but dismayed when he saw the three goblins bickering about in another row of seats further behind. It was Blackie who spoke to him.

"I'm almost alright, had it not been for that well-dressed Yahoo's painful leash," Burr answered. By now the other two horses noticed the scar lines around his neck.

"And you're not alone." Schubert and Blackie presented to him their scars on their withers and neck. "I'm sure that once the car starts, the big clown's mouth becomes our way back to Earth. And I sure would like to have a tuna sandwich."

The goblins' leader, Agent Akloron, banged his pistol at the back of Schubert's seat, and aimed for his head. "One more word," he threatened, "and I will — agh!"

He got himself jolted by the moving car as it quickly went up the ramp into the clown's mouth, and he knocked over his two quarreling squad members. The three horses felt uneasy, not only in the speed and height of their ride, but in that the clown's face started to turn into that of another animal. It was something like the others had never seen, a bearded grey head of a deer with mismatched antlers. Its two amber eyes sank down to gaze at the passengers, especially at the three horses in the front, who despaired at this familiar horror before them.

"Welcome, all of you, to my world," the creature grinned. "Hold on to your seat-belts, and prepare for the longest ride in your life! Hahahahahahahaha!"

Outside, hundreds of anxious Yahoos, including the group of giants who searched for Selásnjen's office, stopped to watch the monster possess the ride, as it tried to devour the two cars that approached its teeth. Clouds began to coalesce and darken the night skies, as lightning swirled and crackled like a ominous crown.

The two cars, filled with their screaming, frightened passengers (some who were actually delighted instead) plummeted into the creature's gaping mouth. Once its jaws had been sealed shut, the monster and its storm vanished, and the amusement park reverted into its original state.

Meanwhile, the giants who searched for "Selásnjen" and her office went around the amusement park for several hours, before they gave up and went to a tavern outside the park. As soon as they entered through its door, they (and only they) noticed that the mounted deer's head resembled the monster in the car-mountains. Whenever they looked at it, they got themselves bound into its gaze and into its echoing laughter ...

Author's Note

"zluesnico" - "zloo-WES-nick-koh"
"Palédera" - "pah-LAY-deh-rah"
"Flamvóain Plaráscanesjen" - "flam-voh-WAI-in plah-rahs-KAHN-neh-see-yen"
"Selásnjen" - "seh-LAHS-nee-yen"

Setting the Rules

Everyone within the two long cars found themselves within a purple-blue void, under the gaze of that laughing monstrous deer. As his head floated around, a lanky, mismatched body of a lizard with fur, grew from the bottom of his head like the roots of a tree.

Many of the passengers were more amazed than they were frightened by the creature's monstrous appearance, and they whipped out their mobiles cameras as if they were witnessing a natural process of the most unusual species of lifeform that they had ever seen. Meanwhile, on the front, Akloron stepped forward, between the stuffy necks of the two steeds sitting in front of him. He pointed his gun and yelled at the smirking deer-lizard ahead, "What is it that you want, creature?!"

"I'd like to play a game with you," the creature answered, before he pointed at the three frightened horses and the goblin trio. "And it's especially you six who will be the key players."

"So what?" the goblin leader questioned back. "My job is to take them to my boss, who needs them for scientific experiments." His two squad members cheered on in agreement.

"I'm greatly sorry, but I, Discord the Dracoequus, am the organizer of my own game, not pieces like you." A striped black and white shirt, topped with a black cap, flashed on the creature's body. "All the others have no part to play with, and so they may leave." With a snap of his right paw, all the other Yahoo-like passengers instantly found themselves back into the amusement park, bewildered and amused by their bizarre events. Their strange stories of their encounter with the deer-lizard in his realm lead to the park renovating its famous roller-coaster to be themed after their strange stories, earning it more income from its added decorative appeal.

But within the strange otherworldly dimension beyond the park, there were only the three horses and the three goblins in the now-emptied cars before the creature.

"My game has several rules," he introduced. "Firstly, you must survive in as many realms as you can, without getting caught by six terrible nuisances." He snapped his fingers, and six bright stars flashed up in front of the trios, bright enough to force the remaining passengers to turn away or cover their eyes. Each of these colored stars contained a smirking pony, who looked upon their targets with anticipation. Their playfully menacing laughter filled the whole void, and the three horses cowered from their familiar fears becoming more powerful than they anything these mundane equines would use to deal with them.

"Their names are, so to speak, 'Twilight Sparkle', 'Applejack', 'Fluttershy', 'Rainbow Dash', 'Rarity', and 'Pinkie Pie'." He gestured towards each of the smiling ponies within their stars, who either gave them a sinister glare or waved back with a cheerful smile. To the three equines they looked as equine as them, but to the humanoid goblins they briefly appeared as female humanoids: in their quick forms four of them wore splendid dresses, but Rainbow Dash who wore a suit of golden armour, and Applejack wore trousers and a blouse covered by a leather jacket.

"No matter what weapons you'll use to destroy them," Discord continued, "they'll be back at any moment, and at any form, to find you again when you least expect them."

"And if we ever touch any of you three," Twilight added in a sing-song voice, as she paced within her burning violet star, "you're ours, and we'll instantly go back to Ponyland together ~ "

" ... for-EEEEVERRRR!" Pinkie added with a snarl, before she donned a big sheepish grin.

"Secondly, you'll have to rely on your own wits and speed in order to evade them. Should you successfully manage to do so, I will consider you as a winner, and you may return to your worlds in peace."

"Will th-these six freaks still hunt us down, even when we come back?" Burr stuttered. He never wanted to see these strange creatures ever again, for they seemed to constantly hound him with their bizarre ways and their disturbing "friendship" and "love and tolerance".

"We hope so, darling," Rarity purred. "As a member of a race of ponies with fine tastes, you do need to try some of our artistic skills as well."

"I may not be sure about that," the creature responded. "Thirdly, you will be divided into two teams: the goblins will be the hunters, and the Earthling equines the runners, although ultimately the ponies will be the bigger hunters. Whoever who manages to survive their share of rounds without getting caught, wins my game."

The equines were discussing their own plans, and the goblins were excited. But with another snap of his right paw, the goblins weapons were suddenly removed from them, and in their place was an assortment of candy. The Mane Six, after seeing this, burst into a fit of laughter.

"Last of all, violence is a no-no in my game. But, if you manage to kill each other, the ponies, or me, your victim will reappear somewhere nearby in a few moments, whole and intact. For the sake of fairness, we will give you time to get yourself back together before we may catch you."

"Remember, friendship is magic!" Pinkie yelled from her star. Tellaron sharpened a candy cane and tossed it at the pink pony, but Discord snapped his paw again and the candy cane became a squawking bird.

"What are you, a cowardly wizard?" the infuriated agent yelled. "Violence is the best way to solve a problem, and is always a part of life."

"Then I want you to look at other parts of life as well, and in this case, it is 'survival'." Discord droned. "Fighting does not always solve everything, for there are many other ways to solve any problem. The best part of all is that some of them do not have to make any sense at all."

The creature snapped his paw for one last time, and the two teams were sent into their own realms.

Two Angels

The three equines were whisked away from their cramped seats on the long car, into a vast sea of sand dunes under a dreary sky.

"Now, what?" Burr complained. Meanwhile, his friends noticed what appeared to be a road of broken yellow bricks.

"Maybe, smart-guy," Schubert suggested, "we should follow that path if we are to find our way home,"

"How?" the Houyhnhnnm snorted. "You may have sharp eyes or the dreams of a Yahoo, but I could not see that road you mentioned."

"Then you'll just have to follow me!" He and his tall, dark-coated friend sped off. Burr made up his confused mind, and hurried to catch up with his two friends, regardless of whether their decision has any logic or lack of it.

The three horses traveled along its path for a while. They stopped at an intersection that branched into two haphazard paths that went on to a distant range of mountains: the leftwards path would have led them into a storm, filled with red lightning crackling amid the clouds, and the rightwards path led to a clearer sky over a field of flowers. From of flash of light, two humanoid beings emerged. One of those females was a yellow-winged damsel clad in flowing white robes under her strands of pink hair. The other was a cyan-winged lady of war, whose tufts of multicolored hair stood out against her darkened armor. Both of them had shined so brightly, that the horses looked away from the two.

"Good morning, three brothers," the robed maiden looked down upon the trio. "I'm Clementia, and my friend here is Verratia." Aside from the colors of their hair and the feathers of their wings, these seemingly-benign people were unlikely, to these horses, to resemble the terrible characters that they had mentioned.

"As we're standing here, this road's gonna split into two." The armored angel drew out her sword, and began to point towards each path from the pavement fork. "The one of the left will take you to my path, the path that rocks ... "

" ... and my path, to the right, leads to serenity and beauty." Her white-robed friend slowly raised her hand towards her left.

"Can I turn back and return to where we once came?" Burr asked. After he had finished, thunderclouds began to form behind him, and the section of golden bricks under their shadow crumbled into more sand. The Houyhnhnnm was fearful that his section will crumble along and he and his friends will also disintegrate, when the rapid crumbling stopped as it nearly reached his section of bricks that he stood over.

"No," Verratia said, with an unamused face. "Try doing it now, and you'll never see us or your friends ever again, as you'll be wasting the rest of your life wandering in circles!"

After some thinking, the Shetland pony raised his head from an idea in his mind. "Well," he broke in, "which path has some tasty tuna sandwiches and cool water? My tongue yearns for their tastes."

"Err ... " Verratia wriggled her chin as she tried to guess, and then she shrugged. " ... both of them?"

"And the one with the most sandwiches?"

"Both of them, I don't know?" The armored angel grinned sheepishly.

"Let me take the left path!" Blackie stamped his hoof. "I've been longing for some adventure. If there are any races over there, count me in!"

"Good!" Verratia smiled. She gently raised her sword, and the broken bricks moved into a straight line, raised as a causeway against the endless sea of sand around them.

"Now, Blackie, go to the left, and you'll find those cool races that you've longed for!"

"How did you know my name?"

"Let's just say that we're your guardian angels." Even though the black Arabian stallion was unsure on what Verratia had said to him, he galloped away to the scarlet storm beyond and screamed, "Racetracks, here I come!!!"

Schubert the Shetland pony was the next to decide. "I-I'll take the fields to the right," he stammered. "As much as I love sandwiches very much, I really hope Natalie will be there ... "

The bright-robed maiden giggled and covered her mouth. "Yes, Schubert, you will find your way home once you reach there." The Shetland pony ran away along the rearranged path of now-chiseled golden pavement.

The two angels then turned towards the last of the trio, who was still thinking of a definite choice. Would he pick the path to the left, and save his friend from certain doom? Or will he take the path to the right for a chance to escape any possible dangers?

Verratia shook her head at his wasted time on his thoughts. She unsheathed her weapon and snapped her fingers, and the Houyhnhnnm was struggling to free himself from a torrent of desert sand.

"You better think fast, Burr, before you'll become a mummy!" The armored angel roared into laughter, to her friend's horror.

"Verratia!" Clementia spluttered. "Can't you please be nice to our guest, and give him another chance?!"

Verratia glared back at the disapproving angel. "If you say so, softie." She snapped her fingers, and the white horse found himself on a collapsing island of pavement.

"Now, there'll be no more second chances, egg-head," the armored angel threatened. "If you don't pick a road to go into by the time the last brick falls into the sand, it will always be the curse of Im-hoof-step's boring sandcastles for you!"

There was no other way for the frightened Houyhnhnnm to get out of the crumbling platform, save for selecting any one of the two paths.

Which one will he take?

Author's Note

"Clementia" - based on the Latin word "Clement", which means "gentle".
"Verratia" - based on the Latin word "Verrat", which means "streak".

In Darkest Night

Blackie galloped with all his might to anything that lay beyond his road by the storm-ridden mountains, away from the golden desert into the clouds' advancing shadows. Everything grew darker around him with each passing meter, until there is only the lightning that flashed above to guide his path. The daylight of the desert beyond his back was nowhere to be seen.

Even then, he kept on running. If there was nothing left to hide from but his current situation, all he could do now was to turn it into a challenge. He snorted as his hooves rumbled away, accompanied by the thunder over his head.

But of all the lightning bolts that shone within this canopy of clouds, none were as bright as one straight bolt that shot out from one of the peaks. Upon the loudest of all the thunderclaps, that missile of spectral fire took off into the gloom above and released a growing ring of seven fiery colors that scattered the storm. Though it swept through the land and released clouds of sand and glass, Blackie continued to gallop.

"I’ve won and lost many races before," he mumbled, "and this is going to be a lot more fun than what I've been into!"

When the clouds of sand swept through him, he turned back to avoid having its particles sting its eyes. Though they bit into his rump for a little while, the Arabian stallion turned back and resumed his course under a starless sky, rushing against the calm, howling breezes that haunted the badlands throughout.

"Come on, Blackie!" the stallion challenged himself. "Show them what you've got! Move those legs! Move!"

Another rumble of thunder commenced behind his back, sending chills up his shivering coat. He could hear some distant whirring that kept growing, and when he stopped to look back he saw another light coming towards him.

"Oh, so you're hunting me, are you?" he chortled. "I'll see if I can outrun you, phantom!"

Blackie went on his way once more, galloping with as much strength as he has in his four long legs. But as he rushed his way down the road to the mountains, that light behind him kept growing, until it exposed the terrain around him with its cyan glow. As it grew closer towards the dashing horse it revealed the glowing creature that was causing that spectacle: a chubby-legged cyan pony, whose ruby eyes burned with excitement under the flaming streaks of greenish-red hair. Her wings spread horizontally to help her spin around so she can fly faster. From the features of her naughty face, it was apparent to him that his old pursuer, Rainbow Dash, had come for him!

"You again, monster," the stallion groaned. "You said that there will be racetracks and the end of this road, but how come there's nothing but dry plains?

"That's just the first one," Dash grinned. "You haven't crossed the mountains, did you?"

"I'll see if I can beat you there, fatso!"

The rainbow equine scowled. "Same to you, skinny!"

While Blackie pounded the golden road with his hooves, Dash laid supine like an arrow, with her forehooves behind her head supported by her strong flapping wings, as if her rival's desperate run was nothing compared to her innate velocity. As bizarre as it seemed to the Arabian stallion's thoughts, it motivated him to gallop harder and faster to outpace the rainbow equine, but he tripped on the jutting tip of a broken brick on the road, causing him to tumble sideways.

As he struggled to get himself back up on his four legs, he heard Dash's shrill laughter ringing about. While he panted and slumped over, his opponent was not even breaking a sweat in spite of her efforts.

"Blackie," she perched along the road, "you shouldn't force yourself to win, or you'll keep hurting yourself."

“But that is how I make myself go faster than my competitors, fats,” the exhausted horse huffed. “If I don’t, they will outrun me, and so will you.”

"Just try your best, Blackie," the cyan pegasus crossed her forelegs. “You also need to rest your legs after such a long, tiring run.” She then started to take off, but a little more slowly than she did earlier. “Follow me, Earth horse.”

Although he was distrustful towards the Equestrian for her possible motives, he was tired from all that running, so he followed her up a barren hill where he encountered a pond to their left. While Blackie licked and drank away, Dash flew towards the pond and splashed herself on its pristine, cool waters to clean her cyan fur. The overtly-rough pegasus spat some of its waters upon the Arabian’s horse’s face, startling him for a brief moment.

“Fatso,” Blackie snorted, “try to be more discreet when you play with water, can you?”

Dash was irritated by his repeated insult. “When you stop calling me a ‘fatso’, then we’ll talk about it.” With a shove of her right forehoof the pegasus flipped a bigger wave of water at the fleeing black horse. She burst into laughter as it turned his sable coat and mane into a greater mess.

“At least you’ve got a free bath now!” Rainbow Dash then spat another jet of water at Blackie’s face, and continued to mock him. He was about to fight her when the overwhelming smell of hay and fruits enticed his nose.

The Arabian horse moved away from the cyan pegasus’ taunts and towards a golden trough. It was filled with hay, apples, and pears, all of which literally glowed from their freshness. He stooped down to pick up an apple, but he was interrupted by another female human’s voice.

“Howdy, Blackie,” she greeted.

Before his eyes appeared another fat-legged* Equestrian, who had an orange coat and a yellow mane tied into a pony tail. Under her hat she grinned at him, as her emerald eyes gazed back at his. On each of her rumps were what appeared to be red marks that resembled three apples.

“You’re Applejack, the rope-wielder, right?”

“Eeyup,” she smiled. "I'm glad that I can help you."

Upon realizing this, Blackie kicked the trough and went away. “You monsters again!” he cried. “I’d rather find my way home, even if I’ll tire myself to death.”

The two freaks set off in pursuit. Though Applejack was able to catch up with the black stallion, Rainbow Dash was inching closer towards his back.

“Come on, skinny!” the spectrum mare taunted. “I can catch you before you can call for help!”

“Then eat this!” Blackie gave a swift kick unto Dash’s face, flinging her to knock herself against Applejack. But just as the dark stallion thought that he was able to evade the two creatures, something else latched itself unto his withers. That assailant — which turned out to be one of those goblins again — tormented him by kicking his spurs and lashing a riding crop against his back.

“Did you miss me, sack of dirt?!” the short rider cackled behind him. “Whether you like it or not, you’re coming to the Dank Abyss with me!”

Blackie started to buck and jump around. “Get off my back, beast!” he yelled. But even as the poor equine kicked here and there, the goblin delightfully kicked his spurs into his hide. Even then, he still bucked away until Dash rammed herself like a projectile, throwing the goblin high into the air. As the goblin was flung away from Blackie’s back, his spurs stabbed into his skin: compelled by his great pain, the poor equine screamed and bucked again.

The two Equestrians went around the tormented Earthling, slowly approaching him wherever he went about. As much as they wanted to get him back to their world and get even with him, by now they wanted to ease his pain.

“Blackie, I know of somepony who can heal your cuts,” Applejack suggested. “You can find her in Equestria, so follow me.”

By now, Blackie’s pain had become less severe, that he was able to think properly again; and even then he still could not trust them.

“But you’ll turn me into a freak like you, and then make me a target for your friends to bully me with, all because I don’t want to live with you lot!” the black stallion objected. “Maybe it would be better if I would be scarred and starving here, alone, in this good-for-nothing land for the rest of my sorry life.”

“You don’t have to do this, Blackie,” Dash suggested. “We’ll try to keep you safe when we get back to Ponyville.”

“Just go away!”

Blackie turned behind towards the endless desert, but the two Equestrians still followed him as they pleaded him to follow them. As the lonely stallion galloped across the lightning-lit sands he heard distant screaming: it was from that goblin that Dash threw into the air. Furious over his defeat, the goblin drew out two knives from his pockets, but before he was able to stab the black equine Dash flew towards the foe and kicked him forward into the darkness beyond.

“It’s pointless to keep running, Blackie!” she cried. “This desert’s going to take forever to cross!”

“I want to go home. There must be some way out there … ”

Dash sunk her face into her hoof. “There’s no other way in this desert except with us,” the pegasus complained. “You need to follow us!”

For a while, Blackie kept on galloping. He ignored the two ponies who pursued him and the wounds on his back, as he hoped to reach the buried road, signpost, and its two angels. But all he was able to find was nothing but darkened sand, and the occasional lightning bolt.

After some more running, Blackie’s energy was almost spent. With a wheeze and a sigh, the poor equine collapsed: the last things that he saw before his eyes closed were a flash of lightning, followed by two flashes of orange and blue.

“ … he’s still breathing, thank Celestia.”

“It will take a few days for his wounds to be healed. Let me clot his back.”

While his mind almost stirred into consciousness, his ears caught the sounds of soft, human-like voices chattering and whispering all around him. When he opened his eyes, he found out that he ended up lying on a large mattress facing a fireplace, deep within a dim hall carved inside a large tree. To his dismay, he saw several colourful Equestrian ponies gathered around him, startled by his awakening.

“Blackie!” a purple alicorn cried. She threw her forelegs around his withers, and went on, “It’s good to see that you’re doing well!”

The Arabian stallion shoved her away with his muzzle. “I’m not alright, because I won’t find my way home!” he snorted. “And then you’ll torture me again because of that stupid insult I made!”

“We won’t, Blackie,” the same winged creature smiled. When she tried to pat the stallion’s withers with her right hoof, his head recoiled from it. “We’re already in Equestria: it’s not like my hooves drip with cursed acid.”

The poor stallion’s eyes widened with shock. “Then I’ll be here forever?!” he cried. “Maybe that’s how you beasts reproduce, by dragging everything into your pathetic world until it’s full of copies of you!”

“It’s not this way, Blackie!” the purple unicorn objected. “We just want to keep you safe.”

“From what?”

“Starving to death, being tortured by goblins, or manipulated and then mangled by some dimensional being.”

As much as Blackie hated being stuck with those misshapen animals who call themselves “ponies”, he recalled what the serpentine “dragonequus” Discord had said. Since the “ponies” have touched him, that meant that he had lost, and he was now theirs. And yet at that occasion, he was puzzled that there was no merrymaking or cheer among them, but only pity and concern.

“Why aren’t you celebrating?” the Arabian stallion asked. “I thought you’re going to enjoy hurting me for that insult.”

“It’s better to forgive than to forget,” the purple alicorn answered. “Let us bring you to Princess Celestia, so she could you can fit into our society. Besides, did I mention that as an Earthling horse you were too tall and heavy?”

Author's Note

* Blackie’s hooves are thinner than Equestrian ponies’ hooves.