Fedora and Sweatpants

by JIMMYFILLY

Chapter 1

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*Brony wakes up

*gets ready for day

*is fat

*puts on fedora and sweatpants

*also brony shirt

*gently strokes Ashleigh Ball’s used tampon

*goes to con

*makes Andrea Libman sign FS x Nightshade clopart

PERSPECTIVE CHANGE

*you are now Andrea Libman

*walking to car

*brony sneaks up behind you

*chloroform

*wake up in basement a la cupcakes

*forced to voice record clopfic as FS

END

You awake in your room full of excitement. Today is DesuCon and you’re ready for a day full of autism. All your brony friends are going and it’s bound to be a blast!

You struggle to get your full 300 pounds out of bed, but there’s no time for delay. It’s time to get rolling!

You waddle up from your room in the basement to the bathroom and take a look at yourself in the mirror. ‘ What a handsome fella,’ you think to yourself, admiring your neckbeard.

After a long piss you turn down a shower. You already had one two days ago, so another is not necessary. Still in your drawers you hobble to the kitchen.

You open up a bag of Funyuns. Breakfast of champions. As you munch you realize what time it is. You’re going to be late!

You throw the Funyuns into the backpack you’re bringing to the Con and hurry back to your room. While getting dressed you notice your old fursuit. You reminisce briefly about your former furry self, then snap out of it and continue your preparation.

You don your best pair of sweatpants, your “Brony” T-shirt and your fedora. You love your fedora. It makes you feel like Indiana Jones.

Almost ready for the day, you stop briefly to stroke the used Ashleigh Ball tampon you got off Ebay. Andrea Libman will be at the Convention, and you need her signature to add to your VA collection. You already have the tampon and Tabitha St. Germain’s old bong. You grab a drawing of your OC and get going.