The Farm Girl and the Drake

Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Applejack all whirled around in alarm to see who had spoken. While they had been talking, a stranger had entered the yard.

This stranger was a cocky young man with green hair and emerald eyes, dressed in a white collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a mulberry vest with a silver pocket watch draped across the front, a pair of black slacks and black leather shoes. But the thing that really caught their eyes was the crude black mark of a dragon tattooed on his left forearm.

It was Spike, who swaggered up to join the group.

“Who is this guy?” they all thought. “Look at him! He may dress well, but... That mark! He’s a Dragon!”

“I’m sorry for eavesdropping,” the stranger went on, “but a baby is the worst thing that could ever happen to you. They scratch, pinch, pull hair, jump on your back... But shucks, anyone can take that. It’s what they do to your happy home. Excuse me,” he said, brushing Rainbow Dash aside. “Homewreckers! That’s what they are!”

Rainbow Dash had heard rumors about this character. That he was a homeless orphan and that he’d always been on the run from the guards. But she also recognized the mark on his arm: it was the mark of the Dragon street gang. Every member had one.

And Rainbow Dash did not like them. At all.

“And who do you think you are?” she demanded.

“The voice of experience,” Spike replied, rather calmly. “Just you wait,” he told Applejack. “You’ll see what happens when junior gets here. Your dog here gets the urge for a nice, comfortable scratch and... ‘Put that dog out! It’ll get fleas all over the baby!’” he said in a mock womanly voice. “She starts barking at some stranger... ‘Stop that racket! You’ll wake the baby!’”

Winona cocked her head, her expression almost comically serious, like she knew what Spike was talking about.

“And then!” Spike went on. “Then they hit you in the room and board department! Remember those nice, juicy cuts of meat your pa used to bring home? Forget ‘em! Tighten your belt and make room in the budget for all that baby food! And that nice, warm, cozy bedroom you had all to yourself? Get ready for lots of sleepless nights with a lot of crying because if it’s a girl, she’s your new roommate... unless you don’t mind sleeping in the barn.”

An image of sleeping in the hayloft with Winona during a thunderstorm popped into Applejack’s mind.

“They take up all the parents’ attention, and worst of all, your folks start to care about you less and less. It ruins your life. I’m sorry, but I’ve seen it happen too many times,” he finished.

Though Spike had no family of his own, he seemed to know quite a lot about babies—and none of it was good.

Applejack tried hard to fight back a sob. This guy’s words stung. He might as well have said, “Leave this place behind and skedaddle out of here!”

“Don’t listen to him, AJ!” Rainbow Dash said. “Nobody is that cruel!”

“Of course not,” Fluttershy put in. “They would never do that.”

“Oh, come on!” Spike said in disbelief. “Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for that old lie, have you?”

“Yeah. And we have no room for Dragons and their radical ideas!” Rainbow Dash growled. “Now, beat it!”

“Okay, Rainbow Hair,”

“The name’s Rainbow Dash!”

“Okay, okay! I can take a hint,” he said as he turned to leave. “But remember this,” he warned Applejack. “A parent’s heart has only so much room for love and affection. You mark my words: when the baby moves in—the others. Move. Out!”

And he was gone in a flash.