Irisviel Einzbern-Emiya, homunculus formed in the image of Justeaze Lizrich von Einzbern, one of the founders of the Holy Grail War, hummed as she sat in the dimension within the Greater Grail. Ever since she had freed her universe’s version of Angra Mainyu from his accursed existence, she had spent the last few years watching over various alternate realities of any children Kiritsugu adopted, particularly Shirou Emiya, and sprucing up the place.

She had even made a deal with Alaya, the will of humanity to not be extinguished, to grant her Counter Guardian husband Kiritsugu the ability to stay with her, and regain the memories of his various selves, when he wasn’t on Counter Guardian duty.

Though Irisviel didn’t have fun explaining that to Kiritsugu, though seeing his stoic expression break and seeing him actually gape make Irisviel’s day! .

Well that, and all the makeup sex between the two. Being so connected to The Root had granted the former homunculus access to, among other things, the various deities of sex she could ask advice for.

Though, the one thing she was interested in, was grandchildren.

Wherever she could, she used her powers of the Greater Grail to influence the lives of her adoptive children, and her beloved daughter Illya, so she could have grandkids, primarily via changing the summoned Servants to either be males or females, depending on the preference and gender.

Or just making sure all the Servants were female and pulled the strings to turn the Holy Grail war into a giant Harem war of sorts.

Sadly this time Shirou was beyond the Holy Grail’s reach. He, along with his beloved Saber and his Tsundere Princess, have somehow been forcefully reincarnated into a wildly divergent Earth where the Gaia seemed more… relaxed and Ayala either never developed or developed differently than what Irisvel was used to. Perhaps gaining something of a conscious or conscience. But she would do her best.

Well, that, and everyone on the planet was, in essence, an intelligent Phantasmal Beast.

Though Irisviel couldn’t even begin to fathom why this world resembled a little girls cartoon Illya was fond of in certain timelines. Said timelines usually involving the Kelidostick Ruby. Ah, what a prudish wand. Still, the things her daughter had done with it… she made her mother so proud.

“Come on Shirou! Give mama some grandbabies!~” Irisviel screamed at the ‘screen’ wishing she could do something, anything, so make it so!

Kiritsugu watched his wife and just sighed before pulling of a cigarette out of somewhere, “Iri, maybe we should just let things come to pass naturally just this…” he was cut off as he noticed the draconified Arturia and Changelinged Rin dragging Shirou into a bedroom.

“Yesssssss!!!!” Irisviel grinned, bouncing. “Grandbabies! Shirou’s gonna give mama Iri grandbabies! Rail them hard sweetie!”

Kiritsugu just sighed and lit his cigerette… honestly if he didn’t love her so much her eccentricities would’ve run him off. Though then again… that’s what attracted him in the first place really.

Well… that and the chance to piss of Old Man Acht.

Though Kiritsugu still wished he was summoned instead of Hercules so he could’ve fucking murdered that old man for what he did to Illya. That and kill Kirei… again. Not much made him happy, but that, that would bring a smile to his face.

Irisviel was now paying CLOSE attention to what was going on in the room, grinning like a madwoman. She especially enjoyed how much Shirou was ramming into the Illayfied Rin.

“Yes, fill my dear Illya sweetie…” Kiritsugu just stared at his wife, then wished he had some booze to wash out the mental images.

Sometimes he really worried about her… and wondered just how much Illya had taken after her…

… Oh god… that explained soooo much. He shuddered to think what would happen if Illya ever got behind the wheel of a vehicle.

“Iri… are you seriously going to watch Shirou have sex?” Kiritsugu asked dryly.

Irisviel turned, a catlike smirk coming to her. “Oh no Kiri,” she slipped out of of the Dress of Heaven, which, considering its already revealing nature, left her nude. “We’re going to have our own fun.” The tanned and white haired Assassin could barely move before his wife launched herself at him.

And… well you know how it goes…

Author's Note

Nightmare: *Assumes Girlycard pose* "And yes! This IS a Fate/Harem reference!"