MLP: Unlimited Blade Works

by Nightmare723764

Rating: mature
Tags: Violence, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Main 6, Romance, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Crossover, Sex, Profanity
Length: 32373

Shirou, Rin, and Saber in Pone land. Wonder what sort of antics a Third-rate magus, the Apprentice of the Kalidioscope, and the King of Knights will get into?

Through some twist of Fate the three survivors of the Fifth Holy Grail war find themselves reincarnated in another world in entirely new bodies on top of that!

But was their new situation the results of Fate deciding to throw them a figurative bone? Or is it Zelretch's fault? Regardless Rin's going to blame it all on the Old Man of the Jewels regardless. At least there's no magical girls involved.

Co-written with Dioko44.

Beta'd by Nihatclodra, and goddamn is he SAVAGE.

Clop Beta'd by LoneUnicornWriter, and again thanks for the help!

An AU of MLP so don't expect this story to be canon compliant with MLP. But then again that's par the course for pony stories I write. But yeah this is my first attempt at anything related to Nasuverse so please be gentle, and if anything Dioko44 is the "Lore-master" in this case. Though don't expect everything nasu to be lore compliant as Dio is, if I'm not mistaken, working from memory.

The tags and warnings will be added as the story progresses.

Also is anyone else annoyed that there isn't no proper Fate/Stay Night tag?

Published 2018-09-26 12:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-03-13 20:26:19 UTC

1- A Second Chance? (Now Beta'd)

Author's Note

This has now been beta'd!

1- A Second Chance? (Now Beta'd)

---Zelretch---

Zelretch sat in his Workshop, which defied logic and was hard to describe, and pondered what to do with his favorite (and only) Apprentice that hadn’t had a nervous breakdown and/or went insane; as well as her Apprentice/Boy Toy, and their paramour Servant-turned-familiar Saber, also known as Arturia Pendragon... or as the legends knew her as: King Arthur.

Being the master of the Second True Magic; Kaleidoscope - the Operation of Parallel Worlds - Zelretch knew the story behind the three, having seen parallels of them often enough.

In truth he rather liked them; as they brought a wonderful sense of chaos to the usual methodical and dispassionate Clock Tower.

Rin, with her pride and rather hair-trigger temper, was quite a contrast to the past Tohsakas, who were often more level-headed; Focused more so on honing their skill (though Rin did suffer that family curse to an extent). And then there was Arturia; what could one say upon meeting the Once and Future King of Britain?

While Zelretch hadn’t had too many one on one interactions with the wielder of the Sword of Promised Victory, the few he had with her had given him quite a wealth of information, including the personal life of Merlin; her mentor and friend, and (as a number of her knights had put it) one of the biggest perverts and skirt-chasers in the realm (no doubt due in-part to his half-Incubus nature). And while Arturia wasn’t summoned as a Caster, and the chances of such were rather slim (at least in most dimensions), she had learnt a thing or two from one of the greatest mages.

Though given her own distaste in regards to Magecraft and Magus in general what little she did learn was ultimately utilitarian and relegated to support-magecraft, such as Prana Burst and the like.

Saber’s presence was actually quite vital when Rin surgically grafted the full Emiya family crest (How? Well Zelretch is a Master of the Kaleidoscope...) to Shirou, who was only an Emiya by adoption. So the chances of fatal rejection were extremely high. It was however offset by the presence of Saber and Avalon which lay within Shirou’s body and soul.

Thankfully, with his supervision (despite how much Rin insisted she could do it by herself), the graft had been a success; though it had made Shirou a bit woozy for a few days, and he had needed numerous ah… ‘mana transplants’ to keep his energy up.

Or at least that’s what Rin (and Saber, though she would never admit it either) insisted. After almost a week the boy had been up and about and had begun honing his extra magical circuits.

Sadly, but expectedly, due to his status as an Incarnation the Emiya Family spells were of limited use to Shirou, though it didn’t bother him overmuch… as he was more of a fighter than a researcher.

However, he had begun studying in depth the research the Emiyas of the past had done into Gradient Air (what little there was), and had also managed to tap into a small portion of his late adopted father’s Time Alter abilities... albeit for a brief 5-7 seconds. Anymore would begin to damage his heart like it had done to Kiritsugu. Luckily for both, Avalon would restore any damage done. More swiftly in Shirou’s case what with how often Saber was present for his experiments.

If Zelretch recalled correctly Rin beamed at Shirou and commented that she’d make a Magus out of him yet! Of course she then went into Tsun-Tsun mode with a blush and everything.

Zelretch’s apprentice could be so adorable sometimes he thought with a smile.

Sadly... the usual norm was about to happen, which Zelretch had seen in many parallels. His Reality Marble was going to soon be discovered forcing him to go on the run. He would have to part ways with Rin and Saber, and he would spend the rest of his days wondering the world never settling down for too long lest he be discovered.

It was a Bad End that Zelretch had seen too many times already, and he was currently trying to figure out a way to fix it. As well as get the utter most entertainment value out of his solution as well.

Sometimes he hated having to deal with all the eldritch abominations and Dead Apostles that wanted his head. Hopefully it wasn’t Type Jupiter trying to kill all life on the Earth again, in an effort to “fulfill the will of the planet by removing the humans from its corpse”, or something even worse.

Though, before he would go into hiding, he might check in on Arcueid… she was the only one he was honestly fond of. Poor girl didn’t deserve the Fate she got, damn that Roa!

But now to the matters at hand… how to save Shirou from his Bad End and give Rin and Saber a Good Ending… hmm…

’Oh... now that might work…’ A mischievous grin grew across his face.

Rin might hate him for this… but ultimately she, Shirou, and Saber will be infinitely happier!

And Saber will have herself a proper body and not be just a pseudo-spiritual existence. Though she’ll probably lose all the benefits being a Heroic Spirit grants her…

Ah! She’s a clever woman… she’ll figure out how to get back into shape! Besides she’s still King Arthur so she’s still connected to her legend so she can still use her Noble Phantasms.

Now… all he had to do was wait for the three to relax before he proceeds with his plan…

---Shirou Emiya---

Wet, Warm, and Confined.

I have absolutely no idea how I wound up here, but for the strangest reason I want to blame Zelretch. I mean, he isn’t my instructor, but still, he can be….harsh.

Never mind his admittedly odd sense of humor and apparent fetish for magical girls...

Though that just might be my “Inner Rin” as I call it. I mean yeah I know I get into a lot of trouble but not all of it is because of that old man right?

Anyway… to find out where I am. Using Structural Analysis, which Rin’s told me I’ve took to a level beyond any other living magus, I tried to use it to feel out my status as well as my surroundings as either I’m blindfolded or I’m blind.

… That’s… not what I was expecting…

Honestly I figured that the Clock Tower found out about my Reality Marble and captured me for experimentation and examination.

I’d be perfectly fine with it if I knew they’d leave Saber and Rin alone.

But… apparently I’ve been forcibly reincarnated and I’m in the womb of my mother, or possibly a strange pseudo-womb like the Ezberns use to grow their homunculus. But that’s not the strangest part…

My mother… is a pegasus if I’m not mistaken, definitely a winged equine of sorts.

And I seem to be one as well, if those vestigial limbs on my back says anything. So… does that mean my mother and I are Magical or Phantasmal Beasts? Then again, would that mean I’ve somehow ended up in a world where Phantasmal Beasts roam freely?

And following that logic that would also mean the Age of the Gods never ended (or possibly even worse, am in the Reverse Side of the World)… I certainly hope the Gods here aren’t massive assholes like the Greco-Roman deities were.

The only Greek god I ever approved of was Hestia… at least she never was a dick to humanity. Or I think so… it’s been a while since I read any mythology. Then you have Hades, who was probably the only male Greco-Roman deity who could keep it in his metaphorical pants.

Zeus was a serial rapist and Hera was just a goddamn spiteful and jealous shrew that hated everyone that caught Zeus’s wandering eye, and then you have her throwing Hephaestus off of Mount Olympus, possibly due to his appearance (Not helped by a long fall to Earth)... Not to mention all the demi-gods Zeus sired.

Anyway I figure I’ve got another few months before I’m born, so… I guess it’s either meditate or Structural Analysis to find out as much as I can about my anatomy as well find out the status of my Circuits.

I mean I can clearly still use Magecraft so that’s good, but I wonder how my new species will effect my circuits?

Do I just have Circuits or do I have a Core now? Actually are Cores limited to dragons? Hmm… guess I’ll need to research quite a few things after I’m born and can set up a workshop.

Heh… I guess Rin did manage to turn me into a “proper” magus… though I still prefer a more “hands-on approach” to sitting down and doing research. But needs must and all that.

---5 months later---

Being born again was rather… disturbing.

Or at least it would be if I wasn’t so Distorted.

But during my months in my mother’s womb, and isn’t That a hell of a thing to say, I did learn much about myself.

Sadly I didn’t have a Core, at least none that I could find, if I did I can only imagine how jealous that’d make Rin, but my Circuits underwent a major overhaul for the lack of a better term. Not only were they of better quality, C rank at least but Rin was always better at the Ranking system then I, but they were more spread out and seemed they were particularly dense in my wings, eyes, and legs.

I’m going to develop Mystic Eyes sometime down the line aren’t I? Well… as long as it’s not Death Perception (I don’t care how well it would mesh with my abilities, I’d rather gouge them out!), Charm, or Petrification then I can deal with it.

I still remained an Incarnation of Sword, though I seemed to develop another Element? I’ll need to do some research, there’s only so much you can learn from Structural Analysis after all. And it’s not like I could experiment in my mother’s womb.

Oh and apparently my new name is Blade Works, and I can definitely appreciate the irony of my name. I also heard the doctors and everyone nattering on about something on my ass.

A Cutie Mark… whatever the hell that is.

Anyway I decided to ignore all the doctors and yawned, after all I was just a foal, and closed my eyes. Hopefully things will start making sense eventually.

--A few weeks later

Beings a kid, err foal, again is tough. You always tire easily and you’re pretty helpless!

Though I did find out some interesting things from watching other foals as well as other pegasi I think I had a good idea how they can use their hooves like hands.

I also found out I have an older sister! So that’s cool, I mean it’s a change for me but a welcome one I think. That one year I had with IIya was probably the best year I’ve ever had. I know Saber often commented on me smiling more the usual.

But well my big sister Rainbow Dash, talk about another ironic name, was pretty nice. Honestly she reminded me of Taiga-nee just a little bit, probably with how rambunctious and passionate she is.

By the Root do I miss that Tiger…

Anyway, hooves! Now I think it’s somehow related to just how saturated this world is in mana, or maybe it is the result of evolving in a mana-rich environment I’m not sure. Anyway the hooves seem to emit a magi-magnetic field (for the lack of a better description) that allows them to grasp, hold, and manipulate things.

But like I said, Rin no doubt would have a better theory. I wonder if they’re okay?

Are they looking for me? Mourning? Did they get in trouble with the Clock Tower for helping me?

I yawned again and closed my eyes as I snuggled into the warmth provided by my mother and I drifted off into an uneasy sleep...

---17 years later, Ponyville---

I hummed as my hammer rung out against the flattered metal perched atop the anvil. One of the local farmers, Carrot Top or the like, had asked me to fix up her grandpa’s old war scythe to help deal with some Timberwolves.

Honestly I wanted to solve the problem myself but well… I learned that I can’t rush into things like I normally would.

Besides I offered and Carrot Top turned me down, more's the pity. While I love doing repair work and helping around town, I was just itching to do some fighting.

Though I’m nowhere near as battle-hungry as a certain Lancer that impaled me through the heart. Funnily how even in this new body that scar followed me. All my others scars are gone except the one caused by the Barbed Spear that Pierces with Death.

I distinctly remember the doctors as well as my parents puzzling over my strange ‘birthmark’ nearly as much as the cutie mark I was born with.

Apparent in this world cutie marks are the physical manifestation of a ponies origin and element, or “special talent” as they put it. Also you only suppose to gain the mark after having discovering your special talent. But then again I probably bypassed that rule as I know I am a Sword.

And sweet akasha did that stir up some drama! How many newborn foals ever gain a cult following as a God of War reborn? Though… my experiments with Tracing didn’t help either… though the face my sister/foalsitter made when she came to look in on me and saw a dozen swords of varying shapes floating around me… wish I had a camera.

Anyway I need to stop getting distracted and finish this up.

“Hmm… maybe I should Reinforce this as well… maybe add a few runes…” I muttered thoughtfully.

Oh I also learn that my Magecraft lasts a whole lot longer then it did on Earth by a stupidly massive amount... probably due to the fact that the Age of the Gods, or something akin to it, never ended in this world. That and this world’s equivalent of Gaia is pretty relaxed compared to the Gaia on Earth. Well, except for the Everfree Forest.

I think the longest a projected knife lasted was like… four months? And even then I had to dismiss it so not to get in trouble…

Shaking my head I resumed my hammering the old War Scythe into shape, and while I rarely ever used many polearm type weapons I couldn’t help but try and improve it somehow: like making the blade sharper, or giving it a serrated edge so the tip saws into the Timberwolves wooden forms.

Finishing my little alterations, and hoping Carrot Top would be too upset, I returned to the front of the shop and sat the blade to the side for some polishing and a meeting with a whetstone.

I heard the bell signalling someone was coming in ring and I said, “Welcome to my shop. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be right with you.”

“I just need a moment.” The voice was definitely female and held a regal bearing… akasha please don’t be a Canterlot noble, “Do you know anyone by the name of Shirou Emiya?” She asked and I felt my heart race, no one should know that name…

I blinked in surprise, “And… where did you hear that name?” I asked as I put the Scythe’s blade down gently on the anvil.

I then turned and faced my guest and blinked again, I certainly wasn’t expecting a dragon to step into my store! Her scales were a brilliant, shining azure. Her eyes like emeralds, with a rim of gold, iris wise. Her frill was like sunlight given form.

… Where did that come from? I swear this is the last time I binge read Fillyiam Shakespeare.

I decided to take a chance, I needed to know.

“... Excuse me but perhaps you can tell me something?” I asked, “Can you name all Twelve of the Knights of the Round Table that served under King Arthur, or should I say, Arturia Pendragon? In alphabetical order if you please.”

Depending on the answer I get I’ll know if her knowing that name is just coincidence or… no. I best not get hopeful too soon. Though I can’t help but hope regardless.

The dragon blinked before she started listing them all out. And these names were distinctly human… and I’m not ashamed to admit that my eyes started to water and my heart raced like I had just finished a game of tag with Rainbow…

“... Saber? Is that… really you?” I hated how… meek my voice sounded but I couldn’t help it; for seventeen years I worried and fretted over being truly alone in this world, even had a few nightmares about it.

I had dreamt that I would never see her again. And I’m not ashamed to admit I all but tackled her into a hug like Pinkie does to, well, anypony. Wings and all four of my limbs wrapped around her as I hugged her with all my strength.

And given my mastery over Reinforcement not to mention I’m like a quarter earth pony… neither mother or father are quite sure where that came from though… so I can generate quite a sizable amount of strength.

Thankfully for me, even though she had lost much of the strength of being a Heroic Spirit, her draconic form did grant her the strength of Yoshihito Noritake (one of the few major strongman competitors from Japan), maybe a tad more.

She returned the hug easily enough, “Shirou?” I just grinned happily, “I thought I was the only one…” She whispered as he buried her snout (Muzzle? Whichever.) into my mane and sighed happily, inhaling the scent of my mane.

After a few minutes I let go off her and went to my the door and put up a sign that said ‘Out to Lunch’ before I turned to Saber and smiled.

“How about some food? We can catch up.” I said, “Oh and my pony name is Blade Works. And yes I am aware of the irony of my name.”

Saber just chuckled (She is a knight! Knight’s don’t giggle!) and nodded. I have no clue how long it’s been for her but I know she loved me for my cooking if nothing else. So I was by no means surprised when I heard the Phantasmal Beast she called a stomach roar like some sort of creature from the black pits. Seriously, sometimes I wonder if Merlin gave her some sort of infinite stomach. I dreaded what she’d do to my plumbing.

“Ah…” Saber blushed, “... Yes please…”

Even with her change of species a hungry Saber is still cute…

And with a smile I lead her to the kitchen where I would cook up a literal feast for Saber. Rainbow often questioned me on why I always bought so much extra food and ingredients. I always told her it was so I could be prepared for any large dinner parties.

Though the truth… I had always hoped Rin and Saber would just storm in demanding to be fed after they spent who knows how long searching for my dumb ass. Rin’s words, but honestly they’re not wrong. I’ve done my fair share of bone headed things in this life and my previous one.

… The entirety of the Fifth Holy Grail war comes to mind actually…

Saber takes her seat, sipping on a cup of tea I make for her, as I begin cooking. I didn’t have any gems, but I knew dragons could eat meat. As I learned during my life on the planet known globally as Anima, but to most Equestrians as Equis, is that ponies CAN eat meat in small portions (no more than anything past say, a bag of meat the size of an apple).

Anything more than that could result in stomach aches, nausea, and worse, diarrhea. Learned that first hand, after Rainbow and Gilda got into a meat eating contest…..I don’t know who I feel sorry for more, the toilets Rainbow used that day, Rainbow’s bowels, or the doctor who had to give her a suppository to quiet things down.

---After Feeding the Beast that is Saber’s Appetite---

I sighed as Saber cuddled me, I had missed this. Yeah I had mother and even Rainbow but… it just wasn’t the same.

I looked at Saber and kissed her lightly, “I’m sorry but I need to get back to work.” I said apologetically, “You can stay up here. The bathroom is two doors down on the right. And if you need anything just come down and ask okay?”

She nodded slowly, as I went back downstairs, and went back on the Scythe. After covering 70% of the blade in hamon clay and heating it: I dunked it in quenching oil to harden the blade after adding a bit of Reinforcement magic to it, and set it aside after for checking for any warps or cracks. I’ll attach it to a proper handle tomorrow, before Carrot would come to pick it up.

I checked the time and saw I had…five more hours before I can call it a day. And as much as I want to just call it quits early and just enjoy Saber’s presence I couldn’t. Damn it I might be many things but I’ll never be unprofessional regarding work! Luckily for me, I only have one other order, which is one of the hunters around here, a Griffon by the name of… Razortalon or something?

Whatever it was it was an edgy name. Wonder why so many Griffon’s have edgy names like that?

Oh wait, here’s the order slip, “Aguileon” Huh, mixture of the Spanish words for Eagle and Lion, fitting. Nice guy really, pretty good….talonwriting I guess would be the correct term.

“Alright… now what did this guy want again?” I muttered as I read the rest of the order and… well if this was an anime I’d sweatdrop or facefault, so I facehoofed instead.

It’s a request to forge a gunblade, with the blessing of the pony Lord of Blades… if only I knew my experiment in Tracing would’ve lead to this…

I groaned in irritation as I trotted back into my smithy, I didn’t give a damn how polite he was! He was getting a regular sword!

Hell it’s been twelve years since that incident and that title is STILL haunting me! Damn my E-rank luck!

“This is the curse of being my descendent. Your reputation shall hound you like the dogs of the shogunate did to my Clan!” Oh, did I mention, apparently Zelretch thought it would be funny to bind my apparent ancestor (though I was excited to know I was related to someone of that prestige, even if he wasn’t a magus), Sengo Muramasa, famed swordsmith.

Apparently, he said, something like this happened to one of my alternates in the multiverse. Oh, and the Rin of that universe was possessed by the Babylonian goddess of sex and war Ishtar, just as that same universe’s Sakura was possessed by the Hindu goddess Parvati. Or at least they fused together.

Pseudo-Servants make my brain hurt.

So yeah… I’m being haunted by the spirit of a possible ancestor. So… yay me I guess. He’s not a bad guy, if anything he’s a boon. Helping me understand Japanese swords of legend in ways my Structural Analysis simply can’t.

Hell I’ve even been picking up iaijutsu from him too. Too bad I can’t adapt the style to my others swords.

With a yawn I stuck a length of steel into the forge and start the process of getting it red hot to shape it. Well this is today’s last order and if I’m correct, I’ll have to check my schedule, I’ll have to go by Sweet Apple Acres to do some refitting and work on Granny Smith’s rocking chair.

I shook my head again, “Well no rest for the wicked I suppose.” I muttered as I started humming a song I heard from somewhere.

It’s funny actually, in my past life I really had no appreciation towards music but now? Well I can attribute it to the whole “Ponies spontaneously breaking out into musical numbers at the drop of a hat” thing. I’m just lucky I haven’t been caught up in the moment, and I’ve been in doors when the “Musical Magic” as I’ve called it, rippled through the aether.

Who knows what would come out? And I’ll be damned if I’m not curious…

But I’m not that much of a researcher...

2- Reunited Again (Unbeta'd)

---Saber’s POV---

I awoke with a groan, as the morning light flooded by draconic vision, while not nearly as keen as a Servant’s eyes from what I understand they will grow keener as I age and accumulate mana.

In life or rather my past life, I had never been much of a morning person. That had been my dear adopted brother Sir Kay’s, and Sir Gawain’s (No doubt due to him gaining increased strength in the morning) department.

They would needle me over the fact actually, how the “Perfect King” was all but a slightly-animate cadaver in the mornings. God I miss those two sometimes…well, except for Kay’s snoring.

Instead of facing the day I instead focused on how things have changed since I found myself reborn as probably the closest analog to a Phantasmal Beast in this world. While my years growing up again didn’t bare any mentioning I was proud that my skill with the sword as well as my other abilities followed me to this new world.

I just had to train myself up again to match the standard I once held. I was there skill wise but my ‘stats’ were still a ways away I knew it was a matter of time til my body matched what I was capable of when I was Servant Saber and a Counter-Guardian of sorts.

And given what I understand of my body… I may exceed those limits given time.

I only dare imagine what Rin would say, but Shirou would no doubt contradulate me and ask for a spar sometimes. He’s rather predictable like that.

And speaking of Shirou-- or is it Blade Works now --somethings never change. Shirou was always a cuddler, though not even he knew it until I was summoned and when I slept with him the first night.

Well I myself am a cuddler so while I admit I was embarrassed, after all I was cuddling my Master at the time, Shirou’s reaction was much more… lively and infinitely more amusing…

I also learned he’s what I would later learn was called a “Stress Cooker” apparently when he was overwhelmed or stressed out he would vent in the kitchen. And depending on how stressed and overwhelmed he was the amount of food would equal that.

I just thank god that Rin taught Shirou how to haggle with the best of them, the only reason he wasn’t regularly ripped off was because of how much of a genuinely nice and helpful guy he was.

Reaching over to my rucksack I opened it and pulled out a few gems to snack on as my thoughts turned to the ‘passion’ of our little Menage a Trois; Rin Tohsaka..

If anything I do know if she was here she’d think she died and went to Akasha… or whatever Magus believe in. High quality gems grow, quite literally in fact, like weeds here! And for her Jewelcraft this land would be quite the closest thing to Heaven for her. That or Shirou’s bed.

Just thinking about Rin’s deviant nature makes me blush terrybly. Honestly I think even Merlin himself, who is half-incubus and a truly legendary manwhore as I heard it termed, would find some of Rin’s antics daunting! OK, granted considering Merlin shacked up with pretty much every available woman in Britain, enough that some of my knights jested that, whenever he came in with bad news, it would be to announce he’d impregnated his latest conquest, which he presumably had, but I never had the chance to track any of them down.

That thing Rin and Shirou do with those swords as well as shisihbari…

Oh my! Though to be fair, I MIGHT have asked him to try that on me after, for, ah, posterity’s sake… (Rin put me up to it though… really…)

Plus Rin must have something like Mystic Eyes of Puppy Dog or something… though generally speaking she’s just that convincing. Plus despite her flexible morals she is genuinely a good woman.

Still doesn’t change the fact that she’s horribly deviant… but she is mine and Shirou’s deviant!

Shaking my head I looked down and saw that Shirou was awake despite his closed eyes, listening to my heart with a small relaxed smile. Speaking of Shirou he was much the same as I remember, but it seems his rebirth had him grow in unexpected ways

His Distortion, unless you even knew about it in the first place, was harder to notice. He was still the same selfless noble Swords-for-Brains idiot, Rin’s words but… I can’t say they’re wrong, but at the same time.... He now has a sense of… pride.

I came down after resting and watching him work on a sword, and I saw a sense of pride in his work which made me smile. I hope it extends to his swordsman-- pony I mean --ship as well. Your weapon is suppose to be an extension of yourself, and to see him adopt the style of Archer EMIYA just insulted my pride as a Knight and King.

I won’t deny EMIYA is strong but… just treating ones weapons as disposable tools irritates me.

Unfortunately the mood, such as it is, was ruined by my stomach.

I blushed horribly when Shirou just smiled in amusement and got up and went to the kitchen.

… The more things change the more they stay the same…

---Shirou---

I flitted, and yes I mean that quite literally, around my kitchen as I cooked up a breakfast that would sate Saber’s monstrous appetite. I actually think her being a dragon somehow INCREASED how much she can scarf down.

Thank God food is so plentiful in Equestria… well that and learning how to haggle from Rin…

As I cooked up a storm a treacherously hopeful thought came to my mind… maybe Rin was here too somewhere?

I tried to squash that thought but it persisted. While it would make me happy… it was a selfish desire. Rin has a future, a life ahead of her in the Clock Tower. She’s a once in a lifetime genius after all! And… really what would she have here? Well, aside from practically limitless access to Age of Gods level magic. Oh and “Jewels for Days” as I think Rainbow would phrase it...

But… can I? Is it… alright for me to be selfish? I know my parents and Rainbow say it’s okay to be selfish every once in a while but… should I? Would Rin even be happy here?

I actually stopped and considered that for a few moments before I refocused on cooking. Honestly? She’d probably love it here… it certainly isn’t nearly as cut-throat as the Moonlit world.

I actually can’t recall the last time I was paranoid in this world… hell not even Nightmare Moon, who was definitely a Divine Spirit if not a straight-up Deity, made my heart race.

… God does this make me a battle or adrenaline junkie like Lancer? I hope not…

Shaking my head to dispel those thoughts I made a mental note to go to the marketplace, I was nearly out of eggs and I needed to restock on my spices. Hmm… maybe I could visit the library and see if Spike would like to join me on a Gem hunt…

… Maybe Rarity actually. She has a spell to locate gems I believe, who knows, might lead me to Rin. With my E-rank luck I’m simply not that fortunate.

… Though my luck doesn’t seem nearly as bad as it did. It isn’t any better either so… I think I broke even on that all things considering.

Hmm… maybe he’d ask Saber to go to the marketplace with him? Give her a little tour before I heads over to Rarity’s to see if she’d mind helping him on a Gem hunt? Though… he’d have to put up with her… personality.

She is a nice pony, don’t get me wrong, but she’s rather… grating. Especially when it comes to the finer details. Plus ever since that night I helped them she keeps on calling me a gallant knight… I know it’s supposed to be a compliment but still...

I’m not a Knight though… I’m just a damn good Faker.

Though… maybe one day? Heh… yeah. In my dreams perhaps.

After a bit of cajoling, I managed to convince Rarity and Spike to go along with my idea. It took awhile, but eventually, things worked out.

I even scared off a pack of Diamond Dogs with Gae Bolg. The spears ceaseless bloodthirst made the pack scamper off with their tails tucked between their legs! I also had this strangest feeling that I disrupted something for some reason…

Meh probably just me imagining things.

Anyway, the gem hunt was successful, got some neat jewels. Interestingly enough, the gems here seem to be similar to the ones back on Earth, beautiful yes, but also thrumming with magic. I mean… I knew these sorts of jewels were going to be common but still… it’s still jarring to see. Jewelcraft were more Zelretch and Rin’s forte, but I did learn a thing or two from them.

… Honestly the best I could do with Jewelcraft is turn them into grenades… and there are less expensive methods of blowing stuff up. Though I suppose here that’s a valid tactic now… nah. I think I’ll stick with my swords and archery.

Well after Rarity took her choice pieces and Spike got his fair share I was about to start back to town pulling along the cart when I was stopped. It wasn’t often anyone could sneak up on me but somehow this pony did.

She was a rather petite mare as well, with a red coat and raven black mane. Her cutie marks resembled a multi-faceted jewel… that looked vaguely familiar somehow…

My eyes meet her’s, and the gears in my brain begin turning. And despite what Rin believes my brain isn’t made of swords.

Could she be…? No. Stop being a hopeful idiot.

However, I had to make sure. I tapped my chin with a hoof. I’d have to ask her something only the real Rin would know. Wait… I have an idea! Though it’ll either wind up with me getting bucked in the face or worse… but damn it I need to know!

“Rin… remember our first Mana Transference ritual?” I asked, my eyes peering into her’s.

Her eyes widened in clear surprise and for a moment I thought I had just gotten my hopes up, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time. Then… she gave me a smirk that screamed “Rin” to me.

“Personally I think our Mana rituals with Saber were better.” She said.

This is Rin… holy shit. I just sat down and stared at her with wide eyes, I… I had hoped but I didn’t actually expect Rin to be here as well! However before I could get lost further in my head, which has happened far more frequently then I’d like, when Rin thunked me on the head!

I rubbed my head and looked at her, “Well? Lead the way you idiot.” She said with a smile that was pure Rin.

“Uh… yeah.” I paused, “I’m… glad to see you Rin. Honestly. I was amazed when Saber showed up yesterday.” I turned, and began leading her back to my shop/home. I could practically feel her gaze drinking me in.

… God why do I feel like my life is going to get rather hectic?

Though honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way, you’d think being the younger brother of the Element of Loyalty would be rather exciting. It’s not, not really.

---Saber---

After Shirou and I parted ways I returned to his home/shop, most of the townsfolk kept their distance, not surprising really. I’m pretty sure I heard some mare screaming “The Horror!” like I was a Berserker about to go on a killing spree.

But then again according to my ‘peers’ in the Dragonlands all ponies are “Prissy pansies” heh yeah right.

I’d love to see them call Shirou a pansy. They’d be laughing right until they get a Gae Bolg shoved up their asses. And no, I don’t mean his penis. Though, Shirou and another man…

Damn it Rin! You’ve infected me! Besides, there aren’t any other men worthy of Shirou. A thought then came to mind, something I had mentally toyed around it one night after one Threesome Thursday. While I may not have been as skilled in the art of Magecraft as Rin, Sakura, or Merlin, I did pick up a thing or two….

Gah! Damn you Rin! Putting all these deviant thoughts into my head! I mean, it’s not like I’m incapable of doing such on my own, but it’s mostly Rin’s fault. Curse her and her wonderful hands… and those trash “romance” books she made me read.

If we find her, she is going to pay, in a massage, or in food. Preferably both…

I mean sure, I MAY have thought rather perverse thoughts about Mordred in my weaker moments (Or after a particularly ale filled feast), and Sir Bedivere, the first woman to love me, may have, ah, instructed me on how to please a woman, but I still have my morals.

I just rubbed my face and decided to eat the rest of my small gem stash, I would have time to deal with my… “needs” later. Thankfully, I still possess a link to Shirou, and Rin. While the link for Rin might be faint, she’s still alive, somewhere on this planet.

Honestly when I realized the link was there I was surprised, I actually had to look for it as it wasn’t activaly feeding me mana anymore. Even when I was still Rin’s familiar, she and Shirou were more than enough to supply with mana, especially on our anniversary.

I may as well go and investigate where the link to Rin leads me. I focused, reaching through the link, and took flight, leaving Shirou a claw written note. My wings glided through the air, kicking up water as I skimmed across a lake on my way.

Thankfully, my gift from the Fae, to walk on the water as the Lord did, has remained, and has proven quite useful, especially in teaching Rin and Illya how to swim. Oh god was that a trial in itself… fun but still a trial. It was quite funny seeing how Illya was far better at swimming than Rin. I taught them how to dance too.

Though seeing Shirou blush and squirm when he saw us in bathing suits made it all worth the trouble. Though sometimes, I missed the days when it was the norm to swim nude… though I guess that’s a moot point now. I passed into a more rocky area, with a swamp to the east. The link was growing stronger.

I wonder what Merlin would think if he saw me now. Actually… I don’t think I want to know.

… He never let me live down walking in on him bathing. I still wonder how a Magus like him, who, save for a few instances of wielding Excalibur when I could not, primarily due to illness or injury, gained such a rather toned physique.

As much as the old perv annoyed me, I do hope he’s well. Though I hope I don’t have to see that manwhore again, I mean he’s a great mentor but… yeah. Though, as my eyes searched the ground below, I happened to glance an elderly looking stallion, his long mane and beard white as snow, trotting through the city, garbed in belled blue mage’s attire. His silver eyes caught mine, and I felt something familiar.

Shaking my head to clear these thoughts I followed the link, coming up quickly to Shirou, or rather Blade Works outside the house, pulling a cart filled with delicious smelling gems and a mare walking along side of him.

A mare that was holding the other side of the link…

I swooped down and landed before Blade Works and the other mare, who I am almost certain is actually Rin, and smiled “Didn’t expect this. I had actually left a note.” I said with a smile.

The mare turned to face me, her eyes lit up. Did Rin recognize my voice?

“... Swords and shihibari.” Yep, that’s Rin alright.

I’m pretty sure my scales are bright red and… yep Blade Works is going red as well.

I shook my head and forced my embarrassment down as I picked up Rin and hugged her tightly without hurting her, I even kissed her cheek making her squirm in my hug. She was so tiny and cute, slightly shorter than Shirou was. It was so precious! If only Sakura or Illya could see her now!

And apparently Blade Works thought the same… and made himself sad.

Hell I made myself sad now… I really wish we could’ve fixed Illya’s body. She’ll be stuck as a child forever. Thankfully, we had managed to “shift” her consciousness into a new body, or at least Zelretch had

Blade Works smiled, “Let’s go home.” He said, “I’ll make something special for us all. And I’ve actually been looking forward to all those recipes I found that use gems in them.”

Rin nodded in that way that she does and after I released her all three of us made our way back to Blade Works shop/home.

---Rin Tonosaka

What in the actual fuck??

No it wasn’t the fact that Shirou was living above a repair show that gave me pause, no, that wouldn’t surprise me. It was the apparent block-party that was happening when we got near. I mean… I’ve been invited to parties before, usually from some of my classmates at the Clock Tower, but this….

Granted most of them are because Zelretch is in another dimension, though there was an epic one when he picked me to be his apprentice.

But still… this is my first pony party. And I’ll be honest… all the emotions in the air, mostly happiness with a dash of love and a zest of lust, is making me hungry. In fact since Shirou realized who I was I swear… I always knew he cared but… the amount of love he’s generating is honestly kind of daunting. It's like he’s some embodiment of love or something.

Though that’s ridiculous. He may be made up of swords but he isn’t like… the second coming of the Crystal Heart or anything like that!

Though… I wonder if he’s got any Noble Phantasm in that head of his that might be connected to this somehow… hmm I’ll experiment later after I finally set up a proper Workshop!

“WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ALL IN MY HOUSE!?!” Shirou yelled looking absolutely bewildered… which he shouldn’t actually, he’s been living here for a couple years now hasn’t he?

“Ah! Don’t be like that Bladey!” A pink pony creature said as she bounced towards us, “I made sure nopony messed with your kitchen. We don’t want another Close Shave incident after all.”

Shirou’s eye twitched, and I wondered what this mare had meant. I would later learn a stallion by the name of Close Shave had nearly lost his dick after almost setting fire to Shirou’s Kitchen….repeatedly. And he had also been tossed out of a second story window onto a nearby thorny rosebush.

“OKay Pinkie just… let me get my new guest settled then we’ll join the party okay?” Shirou said to the pink creature.

Honestly… I’m not even sure she’s actually a pony and not an eldritch creature, like some sort of Beast class being, of some sorts.

Though I did snicker when Shirou stared at Pinkie with that unnerving look he gest sometimes., “You’re not leaving without helping to clean up the mess.” He said, “You do know that right?”

Pinkie giggled, though I have the feeling she was going to originally duck out of clean up, “Hehe… sure Bladey! Why wouldn’t I?? Hehehe…”

Oh Shirou has grow up so much! That deadpan look! Is this what it feels like when a teacher is proud of their dope of a student? He’s come a long way, though he’s still my loveable ginger idiot.

Though, after everything cleaned up, both Arturia and I are hungry, and, I have to admit, starved for, ah “Mana.”

… Oh who am I kidding? I want sex...

Author's Note

Okay folks I want everyone's opinion!
In regards to clop should we do it quick and dirty, and have it a part of the chapter proper?
OR should it be detailed and thorough and have it's own chapter that's cclearly marked [CLOP]

2.5- First Times... Again! [CLOP] [FUTA] [BEASTIALITY?] (Unbeta'd)

Author's Note

This is the first clop me and Dio wrote, though honestly Dio did most of the writing and I just helped but meh.
Anyway Dio and I decided to do clop like this, and I know I asked everyone's opinion and I'm sorry but this made sense to us, so that if you're not wanting to read our mediocre clop then you can just skip it if you like. They will hardly if ever be story-relevant.
Oh also all future clop will be done strictly in Third-person-perspective for simplicities sake!

2.5- First Times... Again! [CLOP] [FUTA] BEASTIALITY?

After the party was all cleaned up, and Shirou had to fight of the advances of a rather amorous (and drunk) DJ (who was later dragged away by her slightly less drunk marefriend) the three united reincarnated lovers made their way up to Shirou’s room, they themselves a tad bit tipsy as well.

Though Rin stopped Shirou cold, “You take a bath. You’ve been digging up gems all day.” She said, prodding him in the snout, cheeks flushed.

Shirou nodded wobbly, he never could hold his liquor… Rin thought with some amusement, as she,while no connoisseur of booze, had sometimes had a sip or two of wine at formal events. Arturia, whether due to her dragon blood, or being used to consuming booze, was not as drunk as her two lovers, but still, quite inebriated.

Shirou nodded and staggered off, ’Maybe I shouldn’t have made him shotgun all those ciders…’ Rin through with only slight regret. Then again, it could have been worse. She recalled her 19 birthday part. She had apparently ended up dancing and singing to “Like a Virgin”, dressed in a Playboy bunny outfit.

… That was a fun night actually...

She picked up the ‘shotgunning’ thing from an American magus that came to the Clock tower. She was on rather good terms with him, much to her surprise. If she recalled correctly he was a rising star in the fields of Mystic Code creation or something…

Shaking her head Rin grabbed her Saber and dragged her off, the dragoness just blushed and giggled drunkenly. Rin didn’t even know a dragon could get drunk!

Arturia managed to nudge the door open with one of her wings, and lightly tossed Rin onto the bed already hearing Shirou turning on the water to get a bath. She grinned drunkenly as she loomed over her former Master.

“Brings back memories huh?” She asked, only a slight slur in her voice, running a claw against Rin’s belly, her digits rubbing against the breasts that lay close to Rin’s crotch.

Wait. Breasts? No… that’s not right? Teats! Yeah… that’s the right word!

Rin let out a gasp as Saber’s claws rubbed against her teats, then moved downward still, lightly teasing her moistening slit, rubbing the outer rim. Having spent so many years around horses as a King, as well as taking care of her own beloved mount, Saber was only slightly surprised when everything felt anatomically correct… or at least at first anyway.

’Well she is a different species after all.’ Saber thought as she slid her digit into Rin making her gasp and squirm. “Mmmm, how I missed you Rin.” Arturia whispered, as her draconic tongue began exploring Rin’s body, caressing every inch of her.

Though Saber paused again and looked at Rin, now she in her time had deliver her fair share of foals. So generally speaking she knew what things felt like…

“Rin? You are a pony right?” Saber asked, blinking curiously but despite her question she never stopped from exploring Rin’s private regions.

“Mmm… I’m a Changeling.” Rin said as she suddenly turned into a copy of Saber, “Shape shifting empathic creatures.”

Arturia grinned, the alcohol, horniness, and Rin’s musk clouding her mind. “Really now?” she trilled, a slight slur to her voice.

“Oh? Is the King having dirty thoughts!~” Rin teased, even copying Saber’s voice perfectly much to Saber’s excitement

“Mmm, yes. In life, I, in my weaker moments, fantasized about my two mounts, Llamrei and Hengroen.” Arturia blushed, her face crimson, and not just from the booze. “Llameri was a fine mare, well bred, while Hengroen was quite the stud.” she shifted, her loins aflame. “I often wondered, as I groomed the two, what it would feel like if…” she averted her gaze. “Though, my hands did, ah, wander from time to time….”

Rin nearly cackled, it was a close thing regardless, her alcohol tolerance must be rather low because the Changeling had absolutely no idea she even drank enough to be sharing such a scandalous bit of fantasy! This could work to her advantage… besides it would be the first time she got a dick.

Only this time instead of a strap-on Rin’s bullshit shape-shifting could give her a real one

She had seen images of the two horses during the Dream Cycle.. And from what her drunken beloved was was spewing, she was correct, they were quite the fine equines. Rin smirked, focusing as best as her inebriated mind could, on the two horses, melding them. The body of Llamrei, with her smooth alabaster coat, but the taut musculature and ample cock of Hengroen

Saber gasped and Rin is pretty sure she nearly fainted as well.

It was at this point a only slightly damp, clean, and vaguely sobered up Shirou came in only to stop and stare dumbly.

“... I’m pretty sure Pinkie got all the stragglers…” He said in a very choked voice.

However before Shirou could pull a Shirou, aka start throwing swords until everything made sense again, Rin cut him off “Oh calm down idiot, its me!” Rin huffed. “Now, you can join in if you want.” she grinned, before ramming balls deep into Arturia’s own moist nethers. The dragoness let out a shrill squeal as she was filled, and began to hungrily kiss her beloved, wiggling her rear for her other.

Shirou just rubbed his eyes, “... Why not? He said, his mind still fogged by trace amounts of liquor. Slowly, his rod arose to full mast, and he trotted over, his meat dangling tantalizingly to Saber, like a sweet sausage.

Saber opened her maw and Shiro carefully fed her his stallionhood carefully as to not make her gag and bite. She started slowly, her muzzle bobbing up and down his length, gilded eyes gazing into his amber. Her forked tongue swirled around his meat like an eggwhisk. Meanwhile, she attended to Rin, sliding her shaft in and out of her, while her hind claws massaged Rin’s balls, and also slid in and out of her pussy.

‘Yes.’ Rin thought, ‘It is so good to be home again…’ though in this case home is with Saber and Shirou, their forms not even registering. With low moans, she and Shirou came, spilling their warm seed into Arturia.

Normally they would start fooling around more, getting wilder if you will, however instead Rin and Shirou merely swapped placed and continued their relatively gentle lovemaking until the were exhausted.

Arturia, full of semen, wrapped her wings and arms around the two, pulling them close to her as she dozed off, snoring loudly. Said snores was soon accompanied by Shirou’s, bringing an odd whinny into the mix.

Rin? Well she just rolled her eyes and magick’d up some cotton balls for herself and stuffed them in her ears before she settled down to sleep.

3- Slice of Life (Unbeta'd)

Author's Note

First and foremost I want to apologize as it's entirely my fault this chapter has been delayed. Everytime Dio and I worked on this I would get distracted by something else and completely forget what I was doing, much to the annoyance of my co-author I imagine.

So if this chapter seems lacking somehow that's most likely my fault to begin with.

3- Slice of Life (Unbeta'd)

---Rainbow Dash’s POV---

Rainbow Dash knew that many saw her as a short-sighted, narcissistic adrenaline junkie, though that couldn't be further from the truth.

After all, as a future Wonderbolt, she couldn’t be a one-trick pony!

Though Rainbow’s not ashamed to admit that her little brother, Blade Works, totally stole the show from her and the others. Well at least until the ELements fired and stole the show back from Blade Works.

Maybe there is something to all those rumors of him being a reborn War god. It wasn’t hard to believe really as Rainbow simply couldn’t imagine anypony but a god actually engaging in physical combat with a corrupt Goddess!

She’ll never forget what he said before his two sabers appeared in his hooves either…

“I am the Bone of my Sword…”

Now Rainbow wasn’t the most magically sensitive or knowledgeable of ponies. But despite that, she could feel the power behind those words and if she wasn’t mistaken it sounded like the beginning of one of those poem-things. What were they called?

Arias or something?

Bah, whatever.

But yeah… besides the awesomeness that is her little brother Blade’s always been something of an oddball. Helpful and generous to a fault.

Honestly, if Rarity wasn’t the Element of Generosity Rainbow’s pretty sure her little brother would make an excellent bearer.

Though… now that she thought about it. Her brother wasn’t very… normal. Honestly, sometimes he seemed… hollow. Like… something important is missing.

Like… what makes a pony a pony just isn’t there…

In fact… has he ever gave a genuine smile? Or laugh?

Rainbow shivered at the decidedly unpleasant trail her thoughts went down before she shook her head and decided to see if she could mooch some breakfast off her brother.

Sure he might make weird food, like that sushi stuff though it was pretty good, he’s an amazing cook!

Or would chief be a better description?

Bah, whatever.

Shaking her head Rainbow dove out of her cloud mansion and started flying towards her brothers' shop/home at a leisurely pace.

Well… leisurely for a mare that can break the sound barrier on a whim that is..

Her wings lightly beat against the sky as her brother’s home came into view.

‘Wonder if Blade can make that pizza-looking thing again? That was good…’ Rainbow thought as she licked her lips, hungry.

---Shirou’s POV---

I had managed to weasel my way out of Saber’s cuddles. I think being a dragon only INCREASED her habitual cuddling.

Or maybe she just missed me and Rin a lot and was going through withdrawal… they both sound viable really. Perhaps both. Granted, sex and food also made her a cuddler, especially for the one who gave either to her.

I shook my head and decided to get started on breakfast, maybe some traditional Japanese fair instead of Equestrian. I mean yeah I like Equestrian but honestly… sometimes a taste of home doesn’t hurt.

Besides no one that’s eaten my food has ever complained… though Pinkie has been bugging me for my mochi recipe for a while now. I might give her a basic mochi recipe sometime.

I chuckled and got started, maybe some okonomiyaki with some rice, maybe some fish as well. I hope I still have some fish… actually, I need to check my freezer for how much seafood and other meat I have.

Now that I think of it I better put on a pot of coffee for Rin, she never was a morning person. Though I don’t understand how she can stand that bitter black brew. I mean, she doesn’t even put milk or sugar in it.

I mean yeah it’ll wake you up but I’ll take me a strong tea over that swill as I’ve heard some of the more… uptight Clocktower magus call it.

I didn’t even flinch when the door was knocked in and my overzealous sister burst in, honestly it made me feel nostalgic. At least she didn’t crash through one of the windows.

I swear her acting like this made it seem more and more possible that she’s a reincarnation of Taiga-nee. Only equine and rainbow-themed

“Care to join us for breakfast Dash-nee?” I asked not even bothering to look up.

“Yes!” Rainbow cried before she quieted down, “... Who else is here?? Don’t tell me it’s some floozies!”

Ah… so much like Taiga-nee…

“They’re not floozies.” By the Swirl, Rin would kill her if she called her that to her face, “They’re my marefriends. Well, marefriend and... Dragonfriend? Dragonessfriend? Whichever.”

Rainbow eyed me up and down, “... I’ll be the judge of that! I have to make sure they’re worthy of my little bro!”

Really… really? Sometimes I wonder if Rainbow might secretly be a brocon. I HAVE found mangas under her bed and in her closet that makes me wonder… I wish I could unsee what I’ve seen…

It’s a pity I’m absolutely horrible at memory tampering…

I just sighed and went back to my cooking, “Sure whatever you say Dash. Just keep it quiet. They’re still sleeping off their hangovers.” and I’m rather proud I managed to say that with a straight face.

I hear Rainbow glide up the stairs hopefully to have a nice, calm chat with the two.

Oh, who am I kidding? I know this will end in blood and tears. Though hopefully just tears… but I’m not that hopeful.

I’m idealistic. Not stupid…well, not completely stupid…

I hear the sounds of groans and bed creaking coming from the two awakening. Then I hear the door being busted down and…

No. Stop it.

Focus on your cooking.

Have faith that Saber will prevent Rin from reducing my sister into meat paste, and that Rainbow won’t do anything stupid.

And now I just feel even more worried…

----Saber’s POV----

Is this what it feels like being the only mature one present? Here I am, my claws, and arms, separating both my hungover and horny lover and this cyan mare.

A cyan mare that wishes to, and I quote, “Make sure we’re worthy of her baby brother and just not stringing him along!”

To be honest I approve of her protectiveness, though I abhor her bullheadedness. It actually reminds me of Taiga minus the skill in kendo and being a yakuza princess. Or well...Mordred.

… Mordred… I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I should’ve accepted you. And I forgive you…

Hindsight truly is a wonderful and horrible thing… looking back on everything with what I know now I could’ve been a much better King and person…

I wonder if I could summon her, perhaps… thoughts for a later date!

Right now I have to make sure Rin doesn’t murder or molest Shirou’s sister… and that’s probably the strangest thing I have ever thought.

… Wish Rin told us she was this worlds version of a Succubus…

However, I’ve at least kept them from killing each other from now. Though now… just how do I deal with these two??

“RADIANT! DASH! SABER! BREAKFAST WILL BE READY SOON! WASH UP!” God bless you Shirou, “YOU’RE COFFEE’S ALMOST DONE RADIANT!”

Rin and Rainbow seem to calm down, glare at each other, and then go to wash up. I join them.

Why do I have a feeling that breakfast will be anything but simple?

Both Rin and Rainbow glare each other as we shower, and I can’t help but notice that Rin’s using a similar smelling shampoo to the one she used back before we came to this world. Stopping myself from burying my snout in her lush mane, I follow the two mares as they glare at each other all the way downstairs, into the kitchen, and sitting at the table.

Though I do wonder how Rin had that shampoo though.

“Saber… why are Radiant and my sister glaring at each other?” Shirou asked as he brought the food to the table.

I rubbed my temples, glad Rin was getting her daily cup of coffee. She was always more pleasant after a cup or two. “Apparently Miss Rainbow here wants to make sure we’re ‘worthy’ of you and not just a couple of floozies stringing you along.” I began eating my fill.

Shirou just groaned, apparently, this was a standard thing with his sister before he too started to eat apparently deciding that the topic wasn’t worth any further discussion. Though I am rather glad Rainbow chased away any mares that started ‘putting the moves’ on my former Master. Not that I imagine Shirou gave them much attention, he’s polite and gentlemanly but he’s not very… bright when it came to emotions and romance.

But then again… he does have a Reality Marble in his head. So who knows how he sees the world and his place in it?

I looked over and felt relieved that Rin was focusing more on her food and coffee then Rainbow. Honestly, I love my Master but sometimes she could be so… childish. Then again that’s probably why Zelritch made her his apprentice. His most successful one actually. She’d make her father, Tokiomi, proud.

Sure she’s had the occasional meltdown but honestly, that was just par the course for Rin in truth.

Stifling a chuckle Saber focused on the wonderful food Shirou had provided.

After the hearty breakfast, the tempers of the two hotheads of the group had cooled significantly. Which was a good thing as Shirou did not tolerate shenanigans at the dinner table, though I and Rin were given some leeway? Hmm… Taiga was as well… though that could be because Taiga could easily beat Shirou with her shinai.

Rainbow probably gets some too seeing as she’s his sister and all.

After ten minutes of the four of us washing the dishes we sit in front of the TV cups of tea in front of each of us as we watch the news.

Shirou snorted, “Funny. I kept Moonbutt distracted so the girls could blast her with the Elements and I’m regarded as an observer.” He said dryly before he shrugged.

Rainbow honestly looked both embarrassed and upset at how Shirou’s role was marginalized by the newscaster. Then again, reporters, whether they be town criers to news anchors, tend to favor the famous and noble rather than the simple and mundane. Though there was nothing simple or mundane about Shirou, technically speaking anyway.

Thankfully, it seems the coffee and Shirou’s assurances have gotten his sister to, ah, ease up on us.

---Rin's pov---

My pigtails sway as I finish up my tea. Seeing that we’re apparently “worthy” in the eyes of Shirou’s older sister (who seems to love him as Illya does, I wonder if she’s here?), she spends an hour with us, then departs for weather duty.

“Well, at least my sister seems to like you two now.” Shirou said with a relieved sigh, “She does this with any women that get close to me.”

“She does seem like the overprotective type.” Saber commented with some amusement, stretching. “I’m going to go take a nap.” she yawned. Large meals always seemed to tire her out. Swaying her scaley hips, she made her way upstairs.

I giggled, “For some reason that annoying song comes to mind about Stacy’s mom or whatever. How did it go?” I paused in thought, “Though it’d go more along the lines Saber’s got it going on or something along those lines.” My eyes wander to stare at the glorious dragon ass.

Technologically inept I might be but I know how to work a radio at the very least! I mean, it took me a few days, but still, I got it working.

Eventually…

Though I did Gander Saber’s ass whenever she laughed… stupid Magic Resistance. Though, Gandring my hand and spanking her was something both of us enjoyed.

Not that Saber would ever admit it, my dear closet pervert.

Shaking my head in amusement I just leaned against Shirou and closed my eyes. Though I did ‘nibble’ on Shirou’s truly ludicrous amount of love he had for me and Saber.

It was actually rather humbling, I mean I always knew Shirou loved us both. I mean obviously, he loved Saber more but still. But now with the ability to actually perceive emotions… I have a very clear answer to how much Shirou actually loved us both.

As I sit on his couch, I can’t help by wrap one of my forelegs around his midsection.

Rin just sighed and closed her eyes, she could get used to this…

… If only she wasn’t waiting for the other shoe to drop...

4- Draconian Annoyance (Unbeta'd)

---Blade Works---

Life has been going pretty smoothly… honestly I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Reincarnated as a pony I may be but it doesn’t change the fact that I, Shirou Emiya, have a Lancer’s Luck at best.

… And at worst well… look what happened during the 4th Holy Grail war.

Anyway the girls and I have established a routine well enough.

Between building Rin a place for her Workshop, despite offering to share space in my own Workshop, my regular job, and doing whatever odd jobs I can get on the side my days were pleasantly occupied, well, that and the sex.. And at the end of it all I would find myself cuddled up with Rin and Saber.

Granted it’s nowhere near as hectic as my life as an Enforcer but still… pleasant enough. Though I have been drawn into the shenanigans my sister and her friends find themselves in on a bi-monthly basis at best.

Rin is well… Rin. Normally she’s working on her Jewelcraft but I think she’s volunteered some off hours at Twilight’s library. I think she’s also considering becoming a substitute teacher as well.

… Those poor, poor students...

It actually surprised me to find that Rin and Twilight getting along pretty well. Seeing as Rin is a pretty traditional magus and very morally flexible whereas Twilight… I don’t know. I haven’t really spent a lot of time with her but I think she sees the world through rose-tinted glasses.

Saber’s become something of a town guard, heh once a knight always a knight, and has even taken Spike under her wing, literally if raining. Teaching Spike how to be a ‘proper’ dragon in her opinion and teaching him how to properly maintain his health. That, alongside starting up a, for lack of a better term, unofficial city watch, but she’s also taken to volunteering as a gym teacher for the local school. Even as a dragon, she still looks great in tight shorts and a white top.

Did you know that dragons need a specific diet to maintain their health? I sure didn’t! Apparently while in a pony’s view Spike was perfectly healthy to a dragon Spike is malnourished and underweight.

Apparently they can’t just eat all the gems they get their claws on, they need specific amounts of different gems to maintain different aspects of their health, different gems, different properties. Like to keep a dragon’s flame strong, they have to eat fire gems. Though, however, a gem based diet has drawbacks, such as certain sounds causing the gems to resonate within a dragon leading to, ah...messy incidents.

… Yeah… not going to think about that, not after what Saber did to that bathroom during our trip to Echo Canyon.

But by the Swirl, I’m glad I’m a pony. At least things are more straightforward. And I can still eat meat! Only it small portions though, too much gives equines an upset stomach.

Not that it’s that big a loss… never really was much of a meat eater anyway. Saber was more so the meat gal, and not just of the food kind….

Anyway, speaking of food, currently I’m making a packageable meal, as Rainbow’s asked for our help in dealing with a mountain dwelling dragon. Now I love my sister and I would do anything for her,I wasn’t going to solve all her problems.

I have dozens of weapons that belong to heroes who were famous for slaying dragons, but as I’ve come to realize ponies generally don’t like violence. So if I just went in their and just killed the dragon, some of the town folks might raise a fuss about it. And honestly?

I have no desire to deal with that. I’m rather fond of my current lifestyle anyway.

Shaking my head I finished the meal and considered what weapon to use when things inevitably go sideways, as situations I happen to get involved in are prone to doing.

I… really don’t want to inflame those ‘War God’ rumors even more by Tracing a otherworldly weapon. I mean the talk about starting a new cult just died down last year and I have no desire to reignite that.

But sadly the problem is that most of the Dragonslayer weapons that’d end it in one blow generally have that effect. Maybe if .. Ascalon might work? Though that comes with its own issues…

Meh… I’ll figure something out. I always do.

Packing up the boxed lunches, thankfully there’s a counterpart to Japan, Neighpon, so I was able to secure some bento boxes. These were magically enchanted to keep the food warm for up to two and a half days.

I just wished Rin and Saber could come. But sadly Twilight asked Rin if she could help Spike keep the library in order and Saber had her own classes as well as teaching Spike the ropes of being a dragon.

Oh well… at least I get to spend time with my sister, you know you’d think me and Rainbow would see each other more often seeing as we live in the same town but we really don’t.

Not surprising… I mean we both have our own lives to live and being a Weather Manager is a pretty demanding job or so I assume.

Anyway, I’ll be heading out to help with their latest mission. Thought I still find it a little odd that Celestia’s sending Rainbow and her friends instead of professionals…

… Well there are the Wonderbolts but in all honesty… they’re less an airforce and more trick-fliers, like the Blue Angels.

I mean I respect them but… their track record isn’t the greatest

Shaking my head I put the meals into a saddle-bag and put it on. Giving a yawn I trotted out and closed the door, locking it out of pure sense of habit more than any actual need.

“Oh! Hi Bladey!~” Pinkie exclaimed.

I smiled faintly, “Hello Pinkie. I suppose everypony’s ready?” I asked.

“Yeppers! We just need to pick up Shy!” The exuberant mare said as she bounced in place.

Out of all the ponies I’ve met over the years Pinkie will always hold a special place in my mind by being probably the single most random creature I have ever encountered! For the longest time I had thought that she was related to Zelretch because of the sheer amount of chaos and confusion she sows.

At first I thought she was the Old Man of the Jewels reincarnated but she doesn’t deliberately manipulate things for her own amusement. Plus, he never was too fond of pink.

No, she’s just a mare with far too much energy and wants to live life to its fullest.

I just nodded as I looked around for my sister…

Then I found myself tackled and found myself looking into Rainbow’s eyes, you know. This isn’t the first time she’s done this yet she always catches me off guard somehow…

I just repressed a sigh and smiled, “Hello Rainbow.” I said fondly, “You ready to go?”

“You betcha, especially with your cooking.” Rainbow grinned, as I dusted myself off.

“So is that all I am to you??” I asked, “That cuts deep sis. Knowing that you only love your baby brother for his food!~” I added dramatically.

Perhaps I spent too much time around Luvia and Taiga nee-san, but I think I might have picked up their sense of theatrics.

Rainbow sputtered and tried to deny it while I could clearly hear Pinkie laughing. And out of the corner of my eye I saw the Drama Queen of Ponyville Rarity smirking. She noticed me looking and gave a smile and wink making me chuckle. I already had enough mares in my life...maybe more if Sakura and Medusa were here somehow.

… Though I’m honestly not sure if I could survive all that or not...

It could have been worse. Zelretch once showed me a world wherein Irisviel, my sort of adopted mom, was the core of the Holy Grail, and rather than conduct a traditional Holy Grail War, though it did have similarities, made all the Servants female so I could then produce “an army of grandchildren” for her and Kiritsugu. How that version of me survived, or had any money, is anyone’s guess.

Eventually I just shook my head, “Calm down Rainbow-nee. I’m just messing with you.” I said with a smile.

Getting up I gave Rainbow a hug as she sputtered, honestly she’s so easy sometimes. Then I remember she adores pranking others.

Anyway, once all of us our assembled, and Twilight quadruple-checks we have everything we need, we begin our ascent up the mountain after we stopped to get Fluttershy, who had barricaded herself inside her home.

Yeah that took some delicate negotiating that I had no part of. I’m a Sword, not a Diplomat or Negotiator of any sort! Though then again… perhaps I am given how often I’m playing peacekeeper between Rin and Rainbow-nee…

Though I really wish I could figure out why they didn’t like each other. I mean, it’s not like Rainbow is into me…

Deciding to shelve those thoughts for a later date I stayed close to Fluttershy, who was clearly scared out of her wits, to hopefully calm her down a little. Not too sure it’d working seeing as she is well aware of just how violent I can be, but I had to try. I patted her back on occasion, sometimes stroked her mane with a hoof. I might not be the best at this, but I’m always eager to help.

And judging from the whispered comments between the others they thought it was cute so there’s that I guess.

Anyway, eventually, we found our pathway blocked by a steep incline. While Twilight and I tried to figure out a way around the obstacle, I handed out board games for the others. Pinkie and Rarity were currently engaged in a furious Monopony duel.Applejack was playing some solitaire while Twilight and I were discussing how to get pass the gap.

I suggested that Rainbow and Fluttershy could carry two of us, while I used my blades to form a sort of bridge, albeit a fairly sharp one, across the gap.

Though when Fluttershy let out a whimper I realized that plan was something of a bust. Okay so… now what? Hmm… I guess we could just go with the bridge idea…

I began to concentrate, picturing the flattest blades I could think off, after a few moments I started to sweat as the massive stone sword-axe of Berserker Hercules started to manifest over the gap. When if fully appeared I stopped channeling prana to it, trusting the thick ambient prana in the air to keep it manifested.

Taking a few deep breaths I reached into my saddlebag and pulled out a canteen and took a long drink of water..

“Wow,” Rainbow whistled, laying a foreleg across my back. “Nice job Blade.” she kissed my cheek, and then was the first across, swaying her hips.

I blinked and shook my head, no. I am not going to think about it. Not gonna think about my sister’s toned plot.

Instead I went over to Fluttershy and smiled, “Need some help?” I offered.

“Oh, thank you Blade.” Fluttershy smiled back, as she steadied herself with my hoof on her back

I just smiled as I slowly lead her across the massive blade, absentmindedly praying to the Swirl that Twilight wouldn’t start badgering me with questions. I saw that glint in her eye… huh maybe that’s why she and Rin get along so good. They always had that sparkle, pun not intended.

Must be a researcher thing…

As we got across the blade, which dissolved shortly thereafter, the questions began. Twilight with a quill and notepad.in her mystic grasp. Okay now how to answer her while not admitting that I’m from an entirely different world… and where did she even get the quill and notepad anyway?

The only reason I want to keep that secret is to avoid even more questions, at least for the time being.

I mean I know it might come out eventually but…

“I can manifest blades. I’m not sure what more I can say Sparkle-san.” I said with a repressed sigh.

It’s something I learned; never let anyone see you sigh or face palm and give them the satisfaction. And I also knew it was one of the hardest things to stick too. Much to Rin and Saber’s amusement.

Twilight gave a, rather adorable, whimper, and pestered me the rest of the trip with questions. Fluttershy stayed REALLY close to me the entire time. There’s something familiar about her, but I can’t quite put my hoof on it. Eh I’m sure it’ll come to me eventually.

Rainbow just snickered, “Don’t bother Twi… not even our parents can get it outta him.” She said, “I think even Spitfire tried to intimidate it out of him and he just brushed her off and went about his day!”

However, I recall Rainbow looking with a hint of, was that jealousy in her eyes, whenever Twi or even Fluttershy got close.

… Yeah I’m not going to touch that… don’t need any reminders of the time I saw Illya-chan in a swimsuit...I mean, we’re not technically related, at least by blood, but, um….

Rin called me a Siscon-in-Denial for years afterwards… granted, considering the times I caught her with Sakura...oh, hello Mr. Boner.

Swirl-damn it not now! Think unsexy thoughts! Like… swords!, Zelretch in a miniskirt! Gilgamesh in a speedo! Okay that turned it into a Why boner...

Oh great, Rainbow and Fluttershy are staring… Swirl-damn my E-rank luck…

“Girls what’s the… hold… up…” And now Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity are staring…

“My word Rainbow, you never told me your brother was so...endowed….” Rarity purred. No, no, no! Damn my luck. How do I get out of this?

And once I’m back home, I am going to vent this, ah, “problem” into Arturia and Rin. And I don’t care if they’re not in the mood!

“Err…” Time to use that infamous willpower right about now, “Ain’t we suppose to be doing something about a dragon?”

This causes the others to focus, however, Fluttershy and Rainbow stick to me like glue. This is NOT helping my, um, “sword downstairs”.

Eventually, we make our way to the dragon’s den. Smoke pours out of the hole.

“Okay… you girls… do whatever you’re supposed to do.” I said, “THough if any of you get hurt I’m slaying a dragon.” I added bluntly.

I wonder what Saber and Rin are doing?

<<>>

Rin was sorting through some paperwork with a grumble, “By the Root! Is Sparkle a magpie in a pony suit or what??” SHe muttered. She had dressed in an attire similar to her former life

Now it’s not unusual for a magus to study a wide verity of different fields, it’s actually the norm. However Twilight seemed to jump from subject to subject with alarming frequency. Granted Rin was well aware that Twilight is intelligent enough to bounce around like this but...it's just like Kirei, except without a love for mapo tofu and the monstrous sadism.

Sighing Rin decided that the least she could do was organize everything, having never believed in the concept of ‘Organized Chaos’, as Rarity did. Rin went about bringing order to everything.

If she had to teach Sparkle her own personal organizational system, so be it!

---Saber---

Saber sighed in relief as she finished putting away the last of the gym supplies. “Thank you for the help Scootaloo.” The king-turned-Servant-turned-full-dragon said, as the orange filly pushed the hurdle back into its place.

“No problemo!” The filly exclaimed with a grin, “Honestly you’re a lot better than the last guy! He was kind of a creeper.and a Pegasist.”

“Pegasist?” Saber asked curiously.

“Basically a racist that really don’t like Pegasi.” Scootaloo answered with a shrug, “He never did anything but he was pretty snide plothole.”

“Ah, well I’m glad I’m a better coach.” Saber smiled.

She had volunteered at Shirou’s high school as a volunteer coach and PE teacher for a time, and had also demonstrated some of the more rigorous exercises. And no, it was not an excuse for Shirou to see her in short shorts or those underwear like things in Japanese PE. At least, that’s what Saber would tell you.

Saber genuinely loved this sort of work and helping people, or ponies as they case may be, attain better health, and yes, Shirou seeing her in gym attire was a plus.

“So how’s Blade been?” Scootaloo asked, “I haven’t seen him since… well we tried to get a cutie mark in smithing.” That had been a horrible day.

Saber skillfully repressed the grimace she wanted to appear, “Oh. He’s fine.” She said with a smile, “Just… never do that again without myself or Blade present okay? We don’t want you fillies to hurt yourself.” Or burn down our home went unsaid.

Scootaloo just giggled sheepishly, “Yeah… that wasn’t one of our better ideas.” She admitted, “At least we didn’t get covered in tree sap that time! Though soot was arguably just as bad… I smelt like a smokehouse for a week after that accident…”

Saber just smiled as she continued putting up equipment. “There, that should be the last of it.” she stretched, her joints and wings popping “Do you girls have any plans for today?” She asked curiously.

Despite the mischief the trio got into Saber genuinely love having them around, especially when Scootaloo decided to ‘subtly’ flirt with Shirou, which was hilarious in Saber’s opinion. Scootaloo is about as subtle as her own ‘son’ Mordred or Hercules as Berserker.

Though, as much as it shamed Arturia to admit it, more so than the fantasies she’d had of her noble steeds, was that she might have felt some attraction to Morgaine. Sometimes Saber wished things didn’t turn out as they did, it was an ideal though however as she had long accepted her reign.

She had, thanks to the aid of Zelretch, found a few brighter timelines. One in which a young aspiring knight who had saved her from brigands early in her reign, after her death in that timeline, was chosen by Excalibur, and not only quelled the rebellion while also pardoning Mordred, stating she had been bewitched by Morgaine, but also allowed Guinevere and Lancelot to live in peace, helping them faking their deaths, and clearing Lancelot's name. While he had let others take on the mantle of monarch, if Britain ever needed him, he’d step out of the shadows, and once more take up the Holy Sword.

But, enough fantasizing about possibilities. Shaking her head, Arturia smiled, “Have a safe trot home, Scootaloo.” she smiled, patting the orange Pegasus on the head, before she started her way back home, humming.

Arturia wrapped a claw around the doorknob, and turned it, entering their home, and Shirou’s shop. “Rin? I’m home!” She called out, before remembering both ahd duties they were attending to. Arturia frowned, hoping Shirou had at least cooked. She was starving. Trudging forward, the King of Knights headed towards the fridge, praying to God that there would be something edible.

Digging around, Arturia smiled when she found quite a large amount of food specially cooked for her. She even found a small note written by Shirou as well.

Saber,

I and Rainbow-nee’s friends are heading up the mountain to deal with a dragon. I guess it’ll take at least a day, but if I’m not back before you get home I made you some food to hold you over. Take care.
-Love, Shirou
P.S. Save some for Rin.

Arturia smiled, sniffling a bit, “Shirou, you, and your cooking, are truly gifts from God.” she grabbed a small (for her), portion of the food, sat on the couch, turned on the TV to Unimen Rider* with a smile.

“Wonder what will happen today?” She mused with a giggle, “Honestly, I don’t know who to blame more for me liking this show. Shirou or Rin.” she recalled one time she had caught Medea cooking with Shirou, and had struck one of their poses

She had no idea Shirou could blush that brightly... Granted, she HAD just gotten out of the shower, and her towel might have fallen.

Then again, she had noticed the Witch of Colchis staring as well. And well, with Shirou and Rin’s permission had, ah, indulged Caster’s fantasies of her.

… Though Medea ruined the mood… well her and Authria’s stomach…

That had been fun, and she MAY have impregnated the Princess of Colchis…..

Enough remembering of past sexual conquests, there was food!

---Rin---

I sighed, “Finally.”

I groaned as I finished organizing the library into a proper system and not whatever it was before.

Sure Twilight might be annoyed but honestly I could careless, I loathe disorganization with a burning passion! The first time I saw Shirou’s workshop I nearly strangled him because of how disorganized it was. True, Twilight was organized, but still, it was not organized enough.

Honestly it was probably our shared sense of OCD was one of the reasons we got along so well. That, and love of studying the arcane. Granted, I had FAR more knowledge in that department, in my opinion.

… Well in my area of expertise anyway…

Stretching I decided it was time to check out and head home, though not until I offered Spike a chance to stay with us. I liked the little drake and just wanted him to know he was welcome to stay with us until Twilight returned.

I knew Spike wouldn’t take it but still Saber asked me to make the offer.

“Spike! Where are you?” I called as she trotted towards the front desk. “I’m heading out!”

Hearing the scampering of claws on hardwood I looked over and saw Spike jogging over, I looked at the ‘baby’ dragon and smiled. Saber’s attentions had certain bore fruit as now he wasn’t as pudgy as he was. Actually he was shaping up to be quite lean. And well, I MAY have given the drake a book on how to pick up mares….

Little guy needs all the help he can get, especially seeing as Shirou is pretty much a harem protagonist. Seriously the number of women he’s unwittingly seduced by just being himself is utterly ridiculous!

Though honestly… his ‘harem’ wound up being more mine than his. Not that I’d ever complain...I mean, I DID kind of start it, but then again, I consider it his harem.

“You’re welcome to stay with me and Saber until Twilight gets back.” I offered.

“Thanks but I’ll be fine.” Spike said, “I’ll just use the time to catch up on my comics.” He added making me roll my eyes and nod.

Clocking out, I headed home, watching as the sky was turning gold. Despite seeing it happen so often I still found the whole ‘raising and lowering’ the Sun and Moon to be absolutely ridiculous. Such an impossible thing would no doubt be considered a True Magic back on Earth.

This truly was a world where an Age of Gods never truly ended… hopefully the gods here aren’t massive dicks like the ones on Earth.

I also suspected that the Magus Association would slap the princesses with Sealing Designations simply so they could study them both in depth. Some would even try and dissect them.

As I neared our shared home, I could already hear the sounds of her Arturia downing food.

“Somethings never change.” I said with a smile.

Entering the house and closing the door I giggled, “I hope you haven’t eaten everything already Gluttonous King!~” I called out teasingly, smirking.

---Blade Work---

We reached probably the halfway point before we had to make camp.

Luckily Applejack and I were use to camping so we set up the tents in short order, though the applemare kept shooting me sidelong glances and giggling. To which I just sighed.

“You sure your ‘up’ to keeping watch sugarcube?” Applejack teased with a smile, which set off Rainbow-nee making her laugh.

“Yes Applejack-san.” I said unable to contain the exasperation in my voice, “I can keep watch.” I added as I took a sip from the canteen I had bought. We’d be there soon.

The sounds of mountain crickets chirping filled my ears as I kept watch. The others had gone off to bed, wishing each other goodnight.I sighed and decided to watch the stars, it was a beautiful night tonight.

But then again… I don’t think I’ve ever experienced an ugly night… heh.

’I can’t believe my sister and all her friends got to see me with a hard-on…’ I thought, ’I swear… I hope Rainbow- no. I really hope Rarity doesn’t go around gossiping about this… maybe I should ask her not too?’

Groaning, I got up, heading over to Rarity’s tent. Though somehow I knew I was making a big mistake right now…

“Rarity, are you awake?” I call out into the royal purple and yellow tent.

“Hmmm? Yes Darling?” Rarity asked sticking her head out of the tent, “Oh you’re not hoping to slake your beastly urges on me are you?~” She teased making me groan.

“No I’m not going to be slaking anything.” I said dryly, “I was just hoping to convince you to not gossip about my little… incident earlier.”

Rarity taps her chin, a small smirk on her face. “Hmm, if you can make it worth my while....”

Oh… Root-damn it all…

I just sighed, “What. Do you want…” I asked, “I can’t imagine you wanting me to make you anything. Do you want me to cook for you or something?”

Rarity taps her chin even harder. “Well, I HAVE heard of your divine cooking…”

Okay just don’t show any relief and I just might get away with only cooking for her once…

“Well… I don’t think my cooking is divine…” I couldn’t help but say.

“Nonsense Blade.” Rarity said, “Your cooking is amazing from what I’ve heard. I know Rainbow said you were humble but I never realized just how much she was understating it…”

I just snorted, honestly if I could give some of my humbleness away it’d go straight to my sister. I love her buy by the Root does she need to get that ego under control before it gets her in trouble that she can’t get herself out of. Arrogance can lead to horrible things, I’ve seen some horrible things as the result of arrogance….

Such as the Einzbern arrogance and what happened to the Third and Fourth Holy Grail war...

“Alright, if it will keep you quiet.” I said with a sigh, honestly the last thing I needed was to have every mare in Ponyville sniffing around.

Honestly, Love Tap is bad enough… do a mare a favor and she catches a peak while you’re trying to fix her sink...

Rarity pouted, “You don’t have to sound like I’m blackmailing you darling.” She said as she battered her eyes, “You could pay for my silence another way!~” She added teasingly with a suggestive wink.

“No.” I said flatly, “I’m not about to go behind Saber and Radient’s back just to make sure you don’t talk about my incident.” At least, not without their consent.

I mean yeah, we’ve had foursomes and the like before…

… But I’m never really the instigator… besides that Spike is crushing on this mare so hard I’d feel like a bastard if I slept with her…

Besides I caught Rin and Saber talking, apparently Rin’s trying to help the dragon be more savvy or something. So yeah… not going to screw, pun not intended, with one of her schemes.

“What type of food would you like?” I asked, leaning against a large rock

“Hmm… how about some of that Neighponse food I hear Rainbow go on about?” Rarity asked with a smile.

I give her a small smirk. My speciality, perfect. “Alright, any particulars?”

“Surprise me darling.” Rarity said, “But… no… sushi I believe it’s called?”

“Fair enough Rarity-san.” I said, “WOuld you like to eat at my home or should I come over to your house?”

“Well, I suppose I could join you and your wives for dinner.” Rarity purred.

I blushed, wives?? I… well I don’t… we’re not… I mean. I guess? Technically??

To tell the truth… the thought of ever getting married never occurred to me. I mean… I knew I wouldn’t live long enough to enjoy it so… why bother? We were happy with our unorthodox relationship. Granted, perhaps in this new world when they’re ready, I could ask...

“Alright.” I said, somehow knowing that dinner party is going to be very awkward…

---One day later---

---Rainbow Dash---

I hovered along with the others down the mountain, still unable to get over just how awesome Shy and Blade were up there!

Blade stood to the side for most of it, saying that this was their task not his, though he did tend to any burns we got. And he actually scholded Rarity for trying to actually steal some gems from the dragon’s horde!

Honestly I don’t understand why Rares even bothered!? Blade and Spike got out and dig up tons of gems at a time so why? And plus it was pretty stupid of Rares, stealing from dragons never works out.

Then Shy got her tail all in a knot and actually stared the dragon down with The Stare while browbeating something that was five times her size and probably had over a thousand pounds on her! It was so badflank! I was never going to let Shy forget how she saved our flanks!

Though it was Blade that sort of wrapped everything up! We was about to leave when the dragon decided to be a sore loser. and tried to barbeque us. Blade summoned up these HUGE shields, about as tall as Princess Celestia, and they totally blocked the flames.!

Then that huge stone sword thing made a reappearance! And I swear even the dragon stared before Blade, somehow holding the sword, brained the scale-brain with the flat of the sword!

He then dismissed the sword and trotted right up to the dazed dragon and summoned dozens of swords!

“These are swords that belong to dragon-slayers.” He said in an icy voice, “If you ever come back here and try to hurt the ponies in the village I want you to keep this in mind. I can summon these at velocity, I can summon even more, and I will turn you into a pincushion. Am I understood?”

Rainbow’s little brother is SO cool! And now she’s sure Blade is… hmm, how to let him know the real her. Something only he would recognize.

Well it was something to think on later, right now Rainbow just watched as Blade kept changing the subject and avoiding giving any answers to Twilight.

“Ah come on!!” Twilight exclaimed, “Tell me!!!!” She begged.

Rainbow snickered and decided to watch with a grin. Though she wasn’t alone in watching The others were betting how long until Blade cracked.

“Fifty bits for ten minutes.” Applejack said as she snickered in amusement.

“I’ll see that bet and raise it fifty more!” Rainbow retorted.

“I bet a hundred that Bladey won’t crack and instead give an answer that will satisfy Twilight but give no real answers.” Pinkie said.

Is it really surprising that nopony took Pinkie up on her bet?

Eventually, they made it back. Fluttershy thanked Blade, hugging him, while he went back to his home.

Rainbow just waved them off before she took off to her cloud house, deciding she need a good long bath. Plus she still smells burnt fur.

---Rin---

“So… because of both a wandering eye and your own thoughts, you popped a boner in front of all the girls. They all saw it. And to make sure Rarity doesn’t go gossiping about it you promised to cook her dinner here.” I summarized with a bemused smirk, “You really do have the Luck of a Lancer don’t you Sword-for-brains?” I do wonder just what Shirou was thinking that got him erect.

Shirou just sighed and dropped his head, “I know…” Oh just how depressed he felt from saying that made my skin crawl.

Jealousy is terribly bitter and for all its ‘nutritional’ value the sheer bitterness made it a very last resort for a starving changeling that had no other options.

Saber just patted Shirou’s back and tried to cheer him up, eventually dragging him into the living room to watch some cartoon or something. Power Ponies the Animated series or something.

Me? I was just wondering how awkward this how Dinner party was going to be… and how to cock-block Rarity for Spike’s sake if nothing else.

Damn it Shirou, you don’t do thing simple do you?

However, I, being the wonderful lover I am, decided to help cook. Granted, I’m more partial to making Chinese dishes, but I will help Shirou get through this.

---Shriou---

I watched the show with Saber though honestly my thoughts were preoccupied by what Rarity had called Saber and Rin…

My wives… would they accept being that?

… I’m damaged goods. I know just how broken and distorted I am… and having a proper family can’t change that. Hell, I don’t even have any memories of my birth family, or who I was before….

I am what I am…

… But, they’ve been so helpful, maybe… and if Sakura and Medusa were here, then we could be a family again. An unconventional family, but still.

But I sincerely doubt Fate would be that kind to me… I think she isn’t kind to Emiya’s in general actually…

Shaking my head I decided to shelve my troubling thoughts and focus on the cartoon with Saber. It's a cheesy show, but my voracious eater seems to enjoy the visuals. She snuggles up to me, and not long after, Rin does as well, waiting for some food to cook.

Karada wa tsurugi de dekiteiru
Chishio wa tetsu de kokoro wa GARASU
Ikutabi no senjou wo koete fuhai
Tatta ichido no haisou mo naku
Tatta ichido no shouri mo nashi
Ishi wa mata hitori, tsurugi no oka de saihyō wo kudaku
Keredo, kono shōgai wa imada hatezu
Itsuwari no karada wa, soredemo tsurugi de dekite ita **

… I am what I am indeed…

A little over an hour later, the spread is set out, a mixture of meat and vegetable dishes, all stylishly arranged. I gave Rin a smile as I hugged and kissed her.

“Thank you Rin.” I said earnestly, “I’m sorry you had to cook… I just had a lot on my mind.”

“It’s fine.” Rin said, “Honestly it’s nothing compared to your cooking but I think I’m good myself.” Kirei, bastard as he was, had taught her how to cook at least.

And thank the Root she hated spicy stuff…honestly, I have no idea how Kirei enjoyed mapo tofu.

As we all tucked in for dinner I focused on my beautiful lovers and not on troubling questions.

Author's Note

*= Ponified Kamen Riders
**= (The literal english translation) ((I'm using the Prisim Illya version of the aira)) I am the bone of my sword.
Steel is my body, and fire is my blood.
I have created over a thousand blades.
Unaware of beginning,
Nor aware of the end.
Withstood pain with inconsistent weapons, my hands will never hold anything.
Yet, my flame never ends.
My whole body was still Unlimited Blade Works.

Sorry for the long wait. Honestly it's more my fault more then anything, I allowed myself to get sidetracked by my stories "A Slime's Life for Me" and "My Life as a Skeleton in a Rape-world" over on Questionable Questing.

5- An Awkward Dinner Party (Unbeta'd)

---Shirou---

It had been a few days since that whole dragon deal and honestly, this was probably the first dinner I wasn’t looking forward, to tell the truth. I mean… yeah, I’m doing this to keep my privacy but… gah, I don’t know I was never good at parties.

I rubbed my face, sadly this wasn’t a problem I could just throw swords at until it went away. Well… technically it was… if I didn’t mind being charged for first-degree murder.

Now… what to prepare? She already said no sushi… which is a pity as I think I make some damn good sushi. Maybe some teriyaki… roast fish? Rice balls and some momochi of course. Hmm, ponies can eat non-fish based meat, so maybe some strips of wagyu beef... I wonder if Rarity’s ever had sake? Cause I think I’ll have myself some… I’m not much of a drinker but I do indulge sometimes.

Then again, considering how much wine was in her cellar the last time I volunteered as a delivery pony, I’d say she could handle her liquor.

“Rin? Do you mind helping me clean the fish?” I asked, “Then we can get started on some teriyaki… do either of you have any suggestions? If I’m going to feed Rarity I might as well impress her.”

“Hmm, a mare of her, albeit manufactured, air of sophistication, might want at least one, ah, “fancy” item.” Arturia suggested Making me groan. “We do have that wagyu beef you bought,”

For once, I was thankful Japan had a counterpart in Neighpon here. “Perhaps cut it into strips and lay it out in a pattern.” she smiled. “Perhaps her Cutie Mark could work, Shirou?”

“Thanks Saber… you and Rin are lifesavers.” I said with a smile.

So… cutie mark shaped meals… I wonder if any other stallions have to deal with this sort of thing? Alongside this, rather than just the teriyaki roasted fish, I decided to go with glazing it with miso and putting it beside sauteed peppers.

“How about those stuffed peppers you made last week?” Rin suggested.

“Oh yeah, Rarity enjoyed those.” I nodded. I had stuffed them with vegetables, cheese, some spices, and a bit of meat.

“Hmm… and for dessert, I’m thinking some momochi… and hmm…” Shirou just considered what to make. “Maybe a castella.” Castellas are popular Japanese sponge cake made of sugar, flour, eggs, and starch syrup, especially in Nagasaki, “Oh and some Japanese Sweet Potatoes.”

“Sounds good.” Rin said, “Perhaps I can add some Chinese as well.”

I just nodded absentmindedly as I started checking the cabinets and my foods stores to check if I had all the necessary food for this dinner par-... I almost thought the P-word…

“Rin? Saber? Let’s not say the P-word.” Shirou said, “Least we summon the Pink one.” Both of them shivered.

Okay… let’s get this started!

“Okay! Saber… Rin and I will do inventory. And if we’re missing anything we’ll make a list can you run to the market? You know where I keep my bits.” I said, “Rin can you start prep, and I will start cleaning the vegetables and fish.”

I lay out the vegetables, beef, and the fish. Humming softly, I run a cloth along the slim knife to clean it of any residue, then begin. Deftly, carefully, I slice the salmon into thin slices, the same with the beef. Rin heats up the water, as I then chop up the various vegetables, setting them aside. I then flatten out the meat and set them into two separate sheets of tin foil, sprinkling salt, and pepper on them. I then seal them up and, alongside the vegetables, set them into the heated pan, putting a lid on, so the flavors can mix.

Once that is done, I begin work on the dessert. I heat up the sponge cake, letting it rise and become warm and fluffy. Thanks to Rin’s magic and Arturia’s flames, the baking process is fairly easy. I first make a sample version, and once the texture is correct, begin prepping the one we’ll be eating. I wait till it has a nice, golden brown color, then add on a touch of warm glaze, giving it a shine.

Oh, this will blow Rarity-san’s mind!

---Hours later---

I sigh as I lay out the last plate of food. The scent of succulent meats, sauteed vegetables, and the sweet tang of the desserts fills the air. Rin and I have to restrain Arturia to keep her from eating everything prior to Rarity-san arriving.

“Rarity-san should be here soon. Just be patient.” I said as I held back the King of Knights.

Rin was just snickering but helped me hold back the ravenous dragon.

Thankfully Arturia sighed and nodded. “Very well, but you both owe me for this.” she smirked, eyes glittering, and both Rin and I knew what our hungry King wanted.

I just smiled, “Thank you Arturia-hime.” I said as I dropped back onto all fours. I kissed her cheek, as Rin kissed the other.

It was at that moment that there was a knock on the door and being the gentlestallion I am I went to answer it to see Rarity with her little sister Sweetie Belle. Rarity was wearing a rather showy dress while her sister lacked any sort of dressing.

“We’re not late are we?” Rarity asked, “And I hope you don’t mind that I’ve brought my sister along. I couldn’t find somepony to watch her.”

I smile, having babysat for the Cutie Mark Crusaders before. “It’s not a problem at all, Rarity-san.” I pat Sweetie Belle’s head. “Come on in, we just finished setting everything up.” I step aside, letting the sisterly duo enter my home and business.

“Um… sorry for nearly burning down your house Mr. Blade.” Sweetie said sheepishly, “I guess we shoulda waited for you before trying to get our smithing cutie marks…”

I just simply nodded with a slight smile, “You should have.” I said as Arturia just blinked in surprise while Rin snickered.

I lead the two to the dining room, where I’ve unfolded the wings of the dining table to increase its size. After our two guests took a seat I, Arturia and Rin started to ferry out the food we had painstakingly cooked.

“My, my, everything looks so scrumptious.” Rarity eyes the spread, as Rin pulls out a chair for the two, which they take. Rin, Arturia, and I sit across from the pair.

“Well, I hope you both enjoy.” I said with a smile, it always felt good to have my cooking complimented.

Rarity’s mystic glow lifts up her utensils, as she samples the fish. She swallows and lets out a soft coo. “Your sister was correct, your cooking is simply spectacular.” she takes another bite, ”And this beef is delicious. I don’t often consume meat, but this….”

I just rubbed my mane, “Thank you Rarity-san.” I said before I looked at Sweetie, “Would you like some help Sweetie-chan?”

Sweetie had been, unsuccessfully, trying to cut up the fish and wagyu beef “Yes please…” She said with a soft blush.

I just chuckled and got up to help the younger unicorn, putting some of the fish and beef on her plate, “See anything else you want to try Sweetie-chan?”. She looks at the castella, but I lightly rebuke her, saying it's for dessert.

Rarity just giggled, “Sweetie has a horrible sweet tooth.” She said with a smile, “Sweetie you know dessert is after you’ve eaten dinner.”

Sweetie just mumbled and pouted faintly getting a laugh out of Arturia, “You remind me a little of somedragon I knew a long time ago…” She said, “We had that exact same talk as well…” she pats the small unicorn on the head.

“Who was it Miss Saber?” Sweetie asked with wide eyes.

“... Somedragon I should’ve treated much better than I did.” Arturia said with a nostalgic, longing, look on her face, “You Crusaders remind me of her… she was just as full of energy and passion as you three at your worst…”

“Well, maybe you’ll get another chance if you see them again.” Sweetie chirps, as she continues eating. Arturia smiles a bit, but both Rin and I share a glance.

We both know who she was talking about.

Thankfully enough, dinner goes by smoothly, with very little talking being done, our mouths, particularly Arturia’s, reserved for scarfing down the meal. After dinner, and the accompanying dessert, we all sat back in our seats, the plates picked clean.

“I must say your sister’s bragging about your cooking is well deserved.” Rarity said with a smile, “If I knew I stood a chance I would try to join your little herd Blade. Dare I say herding agrees with your wives!~”

I just squirmed when she said wives causing Rin and Arturia looked at me curiously. “Well, ah, thank you Rarity.” I said.

I shift, as not long after, Sweetie begins to doze off. Rarity, seeing it’s starting to get dark, bids us farewell and puts Sweetie on her back before she headed home.

“So… wives huh?” Rin asked with a smirk.

“A step down from being King but not entirely disagreeable.” Arturia commented with a faint smile.

“You gonna make honest women out of us Shirou-kun?~” Rin teased.

“And you both DO owe me for earlier.” Arturia grins. Rin and I can barely let out a word before we’re dragged upstairs.

------Saber-----

I pant softly as I lay atop my two lovers. The scent of lovemaking fills the room. I MAY have gone a tad overboard, as Shirou, my dear ex-Master, appears to have passed out. Rin seems to be still semi-conscious.

So here I considering the whole ‘wife’ can of worms that Rarity opened up.

I honestly wouldn’t know how a marriage would last, what with my only one being a farce to mask my femininity. And well… I don’t think Rin puts much faith in marriages, but I could be wrong. Then again, in the worlds Zelretch showed me where Rin and I ended up married….

And Shirou… well the old Shirou probably wouldn’t live long enough to enjoy marriage or even have a family. Though I’m glad to see his ‘reincarnation’ had tempered his suicidal impulses

Though now that Rarity brought it up… I couldn’t help but imagine it. Shirou and I would be in tuxedos, Rin would be in the traditional wedding gown, maybe accented with her family crest. I would wear a pin or the like of my old one. It would be wonderful….

Perhaps one day, when we’re all ready, we might be able to have a wedding. I get up, Rin pinned beneath me, and slowly get out of bed.

“Shirou’s conflicted by the idea.” Rin murmured, “He thinks we could do better. That he’s damaged goods… which isn’t entirely wrong but still.”

“He helped us, and we’ve been there for him.” I say, holding Rin. “Plus, he’s one of the kindest men I’ve met.”

“I’m not saying that isn’t true.” Rin retorted, “But having a Reality Marble… you have to be broken in some fundamental level to have one. To truly develop an alien mindset…”

I sighed and as much as I wanted to argue, truly I couldn’t. I’ve only truly known one other Reality Marble holder… and the man just wasn’t… right in some unknowable way I could never put a finger on. Then again, from what I knew of the King of Conquerors, he lived with no regrets.

It is something I imagine many wish they could. Even still, the idea of being Shirou’s wife isn’t that bad an idea.Though I imagine it might be trying sometimes with his… what did Taiga call it?

“Harem Protagonist aura” I believe? Oh and his natural denseness?

Being Shirou’s wife would no doubt be filled with trials dealing with… but I imagine they’d be well worth it.

I just sighed, “So… how much do you want to be he attracts at least two more to join your harem Rin?” I asked with a chuckle.

“Well, if Sakura or Medusa were here, or Medea…..” Rin shifted, blushing.

I grin, recalling the passion filled nights and days.

“You just want Medea to make all those fetish cosplays.” I said dryly.

“Please, I was in control the whole time.” I smirk.

“I’m going to have to call bullshit on that my dear.” I said, “Despite how much you like to think in my dear King, you are not always in control.”

“I could say the same to you Rin, especially when it involves your anus.” I retort, pecking her nose. My dear Tohsaka blushes crimson.

It actually surprised Shirou and I to find out that the Tohsaka princess had a then unrealized anal fetish...Just like Mordred. Ah, good times.

Though admittedly I found out about Mordred buggering herself with the hilt of a broken sword by accident. ..I actually had a hard time looking at her straight in the face for a few weeks afterwards…

Then again, the next time she asked for the throne, I decided to, ah, test her resolve with my “sacred lance” Perhaps one day I can make it up to her, if fate decides I should see my daughter, and clone, again.

… You know… sometimes I wonder if my time around Rin and Taiga has made me more perverted….no, I blame Merlin. Lord knows he taught me so many sexual magic tricks calling them “training” or some such.

Then again, Bedivere, noble knight she (Odd how a fair few of my knights turned out to be women disguised as men) was my first... ah, tutor in the arts of lovemaking and romance.

Thank the Lord for that… I really loathe the idea of the Magus of Flowers teaching anyone the “Birds and Bees” let alone how to woo someone.

“Anyway, Rin your glorious anus aside perhaps we could propose to Shirou....” I suggested, trying to clear my head.

Rin tilted her head and considered that, and I could only imagine what she was thinking. Though she too was reborn in this world she is still very much the Tsundere Princess. She’s more relaxed then she was before but still, some of the old Rin is still there.

Rin finally smiles a tad, “Well, I suppose it would be a nice change of pace. Are you buying the ring, or should I?” She asks.

“Hmm, well, I do know a bit of jewelry making, and with your gems, we could make one.” I suggest, and not just because we need to save money to buy food.

No, this is pure pragmatism.

… And some of Rin’s miserly ways having rubbed off on me I will admit, if only to myself.

So Rin and I rolled out of bed carefully to avoid waking Shirou and went to plan a big surprise for Shirou.

Not sure when we’d spring it on him but it’d surely be glorious!

What could go wrong?

… Oh damn it… I just had to think that...

But first, we needed to shower. We were sweaty, covered in feminine juices, and semen.

After a quick shower, Rin and I get to work on the ring. Rin casts a muffling spell on the smithy, and I begin forging the ring. Spurting some of my dragonfire into the furnace I melt down some gold, and mold it into three smooth, sturdy bands of gold in a Celtic pattern.

I made a few mistakes that required me to start over, and while I did that Rin sorted through her jewel collection for the appropriate pieces for each other, and Shirou.

Hmm… this is actually rather relaxing. Maybe I should start making jewelry to unwind, and for some spare bits…

After the rings are finished, I dunk them into the water, as it sizzles, then set them aside to cool.

“Find anything good Rin?” I asked as I walked over to her.

Rin came up from her chest of gems, holding up a sparkling emerald with a gold core, a warm amber colored one with a hint of red and blue in the center, and a ruby with a black outline.

“Well I know which one is mine and which one is yours.” I said, “As for Shirou’s….” I smile.

Rin and I’s primary colors, fused together. “It’s wonderful.” I smile, as, once the rings are cooled, set the stones into their slots. “Hmm, his birthday is coming up in a few days, perhaps….”

Rin blinked, “When is his birthday anyway?” She asked somewhat sheepishly, “I never found out… he never really commented on it in our previous life and well…”

“May 7th. Though, that isn’t his actual birthdate. Shirou, well, we both know he doesn’t really know anything before….” I sigh, knowing I had helped cause the Great Fuyuki Fire.

I shake my head, banishing those thoughts. “He celebrates his birthday on the day Kiritsugu saved him.” As much as I disagreed with my old Master, I still am grateful he saved Shirou. I recall one time I worked at a maid cafe to pay for a gift. Actually I rather enjoyed that job… though I never figured out where the little cats were coming from… They were cute though.

“Alright, so in about five days, good, perfect.” Rin smiled, as we place the rings in boxes..I then place them in a hiding spot beneath Rin’s panties, within a false drawer. After that, Rin and I have a talk on whether or not we should let her plan the party. On one hand, it WAS Shirou’s technical birthday, but on the other, we wanted to propose. Granted, we could do that after the party, in private.

Then Rin said the word, “So you think we should make his birthday party a private thing? Just us and Rainbow or what?”

“Hmm, perhaps Fluttershy. It would help her be more social, and, there’s something about her. Something familiar.” I tap my chin with one of my claws. “A mana presence that I can swear I’ve felt before, I cannot recall from where. Surely you can sense it Rin.”

RIn hummed, “Yeah, I did. Its weird. I mean sure, I’ve sensed the presence of magic circuits in everyone on this planet, but her’s are….” she grumbled, pouting.

I smiled, Rin always hated not knowing something. Rin was always so adorable whenever she pouted.

“Perhaps that mystery will be revealed in time.” I say, patting her head. “We should get to work cleaning up though.” I say, as I begin putting the tools and ore back where I found them. Rin does the same to her jewels.

“Hey ladies! Are you planning a party!?” Pinkie exclaimed as she suddenly Pinkie’d out of… a flower pot?

Rin jumped and I just sighed, “Yes Pinkie. We’re pondering over having a small birthday party for Blade.” I explained. “Nothing extravagant or anything. Just Radiant, myself, Fluttershy, Shirou, and Rainbow.”

“Awww… oh! How about the rest of the girls! And the Crusaders!?” Pinkie gasped out, “What sort of cake does he like!? I can make him a superduper fantastical cake! Does he like cupcakes? Do you like cupcakes? Why does he smell like a sword? Why does schnozberries taste like schnozberries?? Huhuhuhuhuhuhu???”

Oh good lord… she must’ve raided the Cakes sugar supplies again… wonderful.

I gently stop Pinkie from bouncing by lightly tapping her on the forehead with a digit. “No Pinkie, we want this to be relatively private, just the five of us, no more, no less.” I say, softly, but firmly. “Cupcakes are fine.”

“Aww… fine…” Pinkie mumbled with a pout.

---Rin---

It never failed to surprise me how Authria can reign in, pardon the pun, Pinkie when she gets all hyperactive like this. But then again I imagine some of the Knights of the Roundtable had moments like this. Maybe.

Looking at Pinkie I can’t help but find it amusing, most of Ponyville probably think the mare is crazy or something along those lines.

I probably would’ve actually… if I wasn’t able to perceive emotions.

Despite the putting on the appearance of a never-ending well of optimism and happiness; Pinkie is still just as emotional as anyone else. She can experience sadness, depression, anger, and the whole spectrum of emotions.

I probably know Pinkie better than anyone, technically anyway. Most of the time her exuberance is simply a facade. One she’s probably so use to putting on she doesn’t realize she’s doing it any more. She can grin at you happily but I can tell what she’s truly feeling.

And those few times when she’s not being herself I’ve actually seen the mare behind the happiness.

She’s a thoughtful if vaguely depressed mare, I think Pinkie would do well with some antidepressants if they exist in Equestria. I know I’ve never seen them. Though, considering what she’s told me of her family, she lived a dreary, joyless existence for most of her life, and probably still carries some of the baggage. That, and severe issues of wanting to have friends.

But right now? She’s genuinely happy to plan a party, even if it was a small and private one. I think I should start talking more to Pinkie, maybe letting her in on my little secret. She definitely needs someone to talk to about her emotions.

And honestly? I need at least one other person other than Shirou and Arturia to know that I’m actually a changeling and not a pony.

….Hmm, perhaps guidance counselor could be a possible career.

Yeah… that sure beats being a substitute teacher at any rate.

At any rate I watched as Arturia and Pinkie planned out this little surprise party for Shirou, Arturia often vetoing Pinkies more “eccentric” ideas, to put it mildly. Then again, the thought of Arturia and I jumping out of a cake and then making out DOES sound appealing.

… Hell we might do that some other time!

Rubbing my thighs together (Might need some “alone time” later), I aid in the planning of our wonderful numbskulls party. I would comment that he better appreciate but I know he will.

An hour and a half later sees Pinkie pronking out our door, and Arturia and I watching TV. Shirou, now conscious, greets us with a good morning, and goes to make himself some coffee.

While life is kinda… boring it’s happy. And honestly I couldn’t want anything more. Hopefully now Shirou won’t work himself to the bone, considering how relatively peaceful Equestria is.

I don’t care if his body is made of swords, in mostly a metaphysical and occasional literal sense, but I hated seeing how he would run around the world saving people on a near constant basis.

He needed to learn to focus on himself and those who love him too. He needed to learn to be, as odd as it may sound, a tad bit more selfish.

… Though how the HELL do you even teach that??

Author's Note

We, that being Dio and I, are well aware that Bedievere was a dude. However this is in reference to a fanfic Dio had read from before he really got into Fate I think.

I'm not sure if this bothers anyone, I actually just noticed it myself but Shirou seems to alternate between Saber and Arturia. I hope this doesn't bother anyone.

5.2 Private Dessert [CLOP] [PUSEDO-FOALCON] [FUTA] [PUSEDO-INCEST] (Unbeta'd)

---Saber---

I push our bedroom door open, and gently lead my two beloved former Masters inside. They DO owe me afterall, and I’m still hungry for “dessert”. I can already tell the two are quite excited for the prospect.

“Well someone’s eager…” Rin said dryly with a smile.

“As if you’re any better.” I retorted just as dryly.

Shirou just found this whole situation amusing judging by that small smile on his face, one day I will see a full-blown grin on his face!

Rin didn’t deny it, in fact she shrugged as best she could as I tossed them both lightly onto our bed and I prowled into the bed no doubt looking like a giant scaly lion on the hunt.

Rin smirks at me, as she begins to shapeshift.

Oh! This might be interesting…

Shirou watched curiously as well, his mottled black stallionhood already standing at attention and throbbing smacking his belly with each jerk.

… When the ‘green fire’ disappeared where a mature mare was now replaced by a snow white filly with ruby red eyes and what looked like a Japanese two-piece swimsuit!

“Onii-chan?” She asked with wide eyes.

… I believe the proper phrase to attach to Shirou’s reaction is… “Why Boner: With a Vengeance” but I might… no. I am right actually. I even giggled a little when it jerked and spurted out a gob of pre…

… Either he has an unrealized incest fetish… or he’s a lolicon in denial or something along those lines…

“Onii-chan? Can I play with you and Art-nee-chan?” The faux-Illya, or rather Rillya, asked as she pranced over acting like a playful energetic filly.

I blinked in surprise; did he just get harder?

Shirou can only stare mouth agape, as Rillya prances over, and nuzzles his shaft. Eyeing Shirou, she kisses his tip. “Onii-chan’s penis tastes wonderful today!” she giggles.

“Oh Root…” He groaned.

I for my part gaped slightly, did he nearly orgasm just from that!? Well… this is an interesting turn of events…

Granted, considering what I did with Mordred behind closed doors, I’m not one to talk.

Anyway I decided that I had sat on the sidelines long enough and resumed my prowel up to the two of them, “Illya-chan can I join you?” I asked, deciding to play along as well.

I briefly entertained the thought of using that “Lilly” spell the Dick Magus taught be but honestly I don’t want Shirou going off prematurely. Though I am very, very tempted… perhaps next time? Yeah… next time. Maybe I could summon the other Arturias to help. For his birthday.

Rillya nuzzled Shirou’s ‘sword’ again, “Umm… I guess…” She said with a pout, “So what do you want to do Art-nee-chan??”

I looked at Shirou, who seemed to be stuck in some sort of mental loop of sorts, and decided that my decision on not to use the “Lilly” spell was indeed the proper one. He’s probably wind up choking on his tongue or something!

I wonder what to do at this point. Should I assist her in sucking Shirou off? Should I eat her out? So many options to choose from..

Ultimately Rillya took the choice out of my claws and bopped me on the snout with his cock while she bent down to inspect his testicles, where were no doubt aching currently. He cock certainly looked like it was distressed and confused.

’Why-boner indeed.’ I thought as I took the flared cockhead into my maw with practiced ease. My forked tongue trails along his length as I slide it in and out of my mouth.

Shirou’s head just lolled back as her gentiles were attacked by a loli Rillya and myself, I could only imagine what he’s thinking.

---Shirou---

Today I learned things about myself. The first was that I apparently found Illya-chan attractive. The second was that my, albeit adopted, sister or a facsimile of her was getting me aroused. Truly, my mind had become distorted.

So, so… painfully distorted...

That, and every part of me is screaming this is wrong. Then again, if I just imagine its Rin, and not Illya, maybe it’ll be alright. I must not prove Illya-chan and Child Gilgamesh right. Control your penis Shirou, focus on Rin, and Arturia. That’s it, good penis, you’re not attracted to Illya.

Oh dear God and the Root, I’m mentally talking to my penis.

… Rin and Arturia must never know....

---Saber---

Eh… I’m sure he’s fine.

Deciding to shelve the thought I focused on the task on swallowing this ‘sword’ and despite all the practice I’ve got with Rillya in the mix it was proving to be something of a challenge

I noticed out of the corner of my eye Rillya raise her head up, revealing both delicate orbs liberally coated in saliva, and she smiled.

It was a devious one aimed purely at me.

“Onii-chan tastes so good!~ I can’t wait for Onii-chan to force his giant cock into my undersized fillyhood and cums lots!” Rillya said eagerly.

Shirou’s balls tightened, his cock jerked, and I choked as an unexpected flood of seed spewed down my throat like an uncontrolled fire hose!

I gag a bit but swallow his load down, as I have in the past. I kiss his tip in thanks as I swallow, and remove his shaft from my mouth as I look at him. His expression, and blush, is a mixture of embarrassment and shame. Absolutely adorable.

“Um… oops?” Shirou said sheepishly, which honestly sounded adorable to both Rillya and myself.

“Art-nee-chan! I wanna taste too!~” Rillya whined, and I am in awe of her ability to stay in character.

I grin, and then eye Shirou, before I lock lips with Rillya. Her tongue dances with mine, as she licks up the bits of Shirou’s sperm that hadn’t been swallowed.and just like that his stallionhood, which was flagging slightly, returned to its former rigidness.

“Mmm… nee-chan!~❤” Rillya cooed.

I’ll admit Rillya’s act was so convincing I felt this thrill over doing this dirty deed! I mean… Mordred is one thing but still…

However, as I opened my eyes, I found Rillya had once again shapeshifted. Into a dragonling Mordred. Oh… oh my…

I then notice that I must have subconsciously activated the futa magic Merlin had taught me, for now I have a seven inch penis and balls, right above my dragonesshood. And its currently erect.

Right, I forgot Changelings have an empathetic connection to any and all erotic thoughts. But, maybe I can work with this. I’ll let Rindred make the first move.

Shirou was just watching with clear interest, apparently now that Rillya was gone he felt more comfortable. Or perhaps less awkward. Honestly I could see how he’d be uncomfortable and awkward… Rillya indeed inspired Why-boners easily.

It was when I was distracted by my thoughts did Rindred pounce on me.

And in short order Rindred was swallowing my cock down her own maw making me moan as I petted her head.

Shirou snorted before he got up and mounting Rindred and after moving her tail out of the way pressed his flared head again her pussy and started to slowly and steadily push his way inside. Rindred certainly didn’t mind in the slightest but I smirked as an idea came to mind.”

“Shirou. Lay down on your back, Rindred I want you to mount Shirou.” I said.

Shirou, blinded momentarily in confusion before understanding came to him and he did as I told him. Rindred seemed more reluctant but she did as well, standing up and slowly guiding Shirou’s penis inside her gasping as she slowly lowered herself.

I then teased her asscheeks, as I plunged my throbbing femcock into my lover’s defenseless anus. Rindred moans, “Oh daddy! Fuck me harder!” she pants, as I and Shirou bounce her on our thick penises.

“Oh you want it harder? I can do that!~” I cooed to her before I started to really leverage my draconian strength to ream her ass hard.

Sadly Shirou wound up just being along for the ride instead of an active participant but I don’t think he really minded much.I slam my shaft again and again into her, my balls slapping against her asscheeks.

I don’t know if it was Rindred, Rillya’s previous performance, or a combination of both but I found myself reaching the limit before I forced as much of my cock into her, causing a bit of a bulge.

I let out a trill-like moan, as my draconian semen filled her bowels.

I panted, pulling out, as small rivers of my seed spurted out of her hole. Rindred panted softly, rubbing her slightly bloated belly. “Oh daddy, I feel so full now!~.” she giggled.

Rindred than yelped when Shirou flipped them and started rutting hard into her, having not climaxed himself. And judging from the pace he was setting and the snorts he was making it was something Shirou had decided to correct post-haste. Granted, judging by the calendar, and what I know of the various species on this planet, all three of us are in, or very close to, our heat cycles.

Hopefully Rindred doesn’t get pregnant… or myself for that matter cause I know I’m next in line for a rutting. Not that I, and I’m sure Rin as well, wouldn’t mind being pregnant but perhaps once we’re married to Shirou.

Hmm I wonder what sort of wedding it would be… probably a small private one. Though I imagine Pinkie would want to make it a large party… that crazy mare.

I was pulled from my thoughts by a neigh followed by a trill as Shirou hilted himself as far as he could and came, I could even see his balls contracting! Just how riled up had Rillya made Shirou? I’ve never seen his balls do that before… and I’ve had close encounters with them both in this and our past lives.

I’ve never visibly seen them do that before! I thought that only happened in those dirty videos Medusa would make me watch…

I was, yet again, pulled out of my thoughts only this time my Shirou gently pushing me onto my back, mindful of my wings, before he lined himself up and started to work his way into me. And my moans were cut short as Rindred mounted my snout and started rutting her creamfilled cunt on me.

I smirked, as I could taste her juices and Shirou’s semen mixed together like ice cream. My long, forked tongue began lapping at her delicious snatch.

Tonight is a rather good night… and I got my dessert as well!

Omake- GRANDBABIES!!! (Unbeta'd)

Irisviel Einzbern-Emiya, homunculus formed in the image of Justeaze Lizrich von Einzbern, one of the founders of the Holy Grail War, hummed as she sat in the dimension within the Greater Grail. Ever since she had freed her universe’s version of Angra Mainyu from his accursed existence, she had spent the last few years watching over various alternate realities of any children Kiritsugu adopted, particularly Shirou Emiya, and sprucing up the place.

She had even made a deal with Alaya, the will of humanity to not be extinguished, to grant her Counter Guardian husband Kiritsugu the ability to stay with her, and regain the memories of his various selves, when he wasn’t on Counter Guardian duty.

Though Irisviel didn’t have fun explaining that to Kiritsugu, though seeing his stoic expression break and seeing him actually gape make Irisviel’s day! .

Well that, and all the makeup sex between the two. Being so connected to The Root had granted the former homunculus access to, among other things, the various deities of sex she could ask advice for.

Though, the one thing she was interested in, was grandchildren.

Wherever she could, she used her powers of the Greater Grail to influence the lives of her adoptive children, and her beloved daughter Illya, so she could have grandkids, primarily via changing the summoned Servants to either be males or females, depending on the preference and gender.

Or just making sure all the Servants were female and pulled the strings to turn the Holy Grail war into a giant Harem war of sorts.

Sadly this time Shirou was beyond the Holy Grail’s reach. He, along with his beloved Saber and his Tsundere Princess, have somehow been forcefully reincarnated into a wildly divergent Earth where the Gaia seemed more… relaxed and Ayala either never developed or developed differently than what Irisvel was used to. Perhaps gaining something of a conscious or conscience. But she would do her best.

Well, that, and everyone on the planet was, in essence, an intelligent Phantasmal Beast.

Though Irisviel couldn’t even begin to fathom why this world resembled a little girls cartoon Illya was fond of in certain timelines. Said timelines usually involving the Kelidostick Ruby. Ah, what a prudish wand. Still, the things her daughter had done with it… she made her mother so proud.

“Come on Shirou! Give mama some grandbabies!~” Irisviel screamed at the ‘screen’ wishing she could do something, anything, so make it so!

Kiritsugu watched his wife and just sighed before pulling of a cigarette out of somewhere, “Iri, maybe we should just let things come to pass naturally just this…” he was cut off as he noticed the draconified Arturia and Changelinged Rin dragging Shirou into a bedroom.

“Yesssssss!!!!” Irisviel grinned, bouncing. “Grandbabies! Shirou’s gonna give mama Iri grandbabies! Rail them hard sweetie!”

Kiritsugu just sighed and lit his cigerette… honestly if he didn’t love her so much her eccentricities would’ve run him off. Though then again… that’s what attracted him in the first place really.

Well… that and the chance to piss of Old Man Acht.

Though Kiritsugu still wished he was summoned instead of Hercules so he could’ve fucking murdered that old man for what he did to Illya. That and kill Kirei… again. Not much made him happy, but that, that would bring a smile to his face.

Irisviel was now paying CLOSE attention to what was going on in the room, grinning like a madwoman. She especially enjoyed how much Shirou was ramming into the Illayfied Rin.

“Yes, fill my dear Illya sweetie…” Kiritsugu just stared at his wife, then wished he had some booze to wash out the mental images.

Sometimes he really worried about her… and wondered just how much Illya had taken after her…

… Oh god… that explained soooo much. He shuddered to think what would happen if Illya ever got behind the wheel of a vehicle.

“Iri… are you seriously going to watch Shirou have sex?” Kiritsugu asked dryly.

Irisviel turned, a catlike smirk coming to her. “Oh no Kiri,” she slipped out of of the Dress of Heaven, which, considering its already revealing nature, left her nude. “We’re going to have our own fun.” The tanned and white haired Assassin could barely move before his wife launched herself at him.

And… well you know how it goes…

Author's Note

Nightmare: *Assumes Girlycard pose* "And yes! This IS a Fate/Harem reference!"

6 The Proposal Party... Interrupted (unbeta'd)

<<>>

The day of the party had arrived. Arturia and I had stored our “private” gifts in a very safe and secure location.

Honestly I never imagined I would ever marry Shirou.l, I did sometimes entertain the notion, but with how busy we were with our studies, I never figured it would become a reality. And honestly… with his naive dream I probably would’ve been a widow within a few years Avalon’s regenerative properties be damned.

So the fact that it took us all being reincarnated into Phantasmal beasts? Honestly I am perfectly fine with it. That, and Shirou seems happier here. He has a living family, and now us.

Though every now and then I see Shirou just staring off and I don’t even have to wonder why.

He still misses Sakura, Medusa, and Illya.

Then again, it is possible the three are alive and here. I’ve felt the occasional magical signature matching my sister, Medusa, and Illya. Though I haven’t told Shirou or Arturia this, as I didn’t want Shirou to do anything boneheaded and Arturia… well actually I probably should tell her.

She’s infinitely more level-headed then our dear Swords-for-Brains idiot.

Shaking my head I looked over and.... Oh Root-damn it Pinkie! What part of ‘private’ do you not understand!?

Growling I went over to Pinke, who was with her friends, I smiled pleasantly.

“Pinkie? What part of ‘small private party’ do you not understand?” I asked my eyebrow ticing in irritation.

“What, Flutters and Rainbow are here!” The Pink demon gestures to said mares.Scootaloo was there too, riding atop Rainbow’s back

“And….” I sighed, “Never mind. Everypony come on in.”

Rainbow and Scootaloo looked at eachother, before Scootaloo hopped off of Rainbow’s back, and made her way over towards Shirou. While Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight went over to the table still talking to each other.

I couldn’t help but smile at that, honestly I couldn’t figure out which sibling Scootaloo liked best. Shirou or Rainbow. Probably Rainbow… though if Shirou ever got into trick flying that’d probably change.

Maybe.

… And there are those… familiar magic signatures again...

<<>>

I hummed to myself as I focused on brewing some tea, my ear flicking as the other guests arrived and Rin tried to grill Pinkie over something.

While I appreciated Rin trying to keep things simple and private I welcome the additional company. Though I am glad Pinkie didn’t invite all of Ponyville. As I drink some of the punch that Pinkie had prepared, I notice Scootaloo coming towards me.

“Ah… Scootaloo-chan.” I said with a smile, “I hope Rainbow-nee didn’t drag you along did she?”

Scootaloo smiled, “Nah, I overheard Pinkie...” She said, “I decided to tag along.” She shifts a bit, like she’s anxious.

“Do you want something Scootaloo-chan?” I asked as I sat beside the filly, “You know you can ask me anything… you don’t want to use the smithy again do you?”

Scootaloo took a deep breath, and then said the last thing I would ever expect.

“Big brother I want your thick juicy cock down my throat and I want you to cover me in your hot sticky-” thankfully she had to take a breath, and stopped.

I’m pretty sure everyone else was staring as well… and I swear I think I heard Rainbow mutter something about a bukkake and cum-play fetish...

Rainbow facehoofed. “Damn it Illya.” she groaned, “I told you to say it slower” Wait, Illya?! I look between my sister and Scootaloo.

“Wait. What?” I pointed at the scarlet red Scootaloo, “Scootaloo-chan is… and… how… huh??”

“Mama came to me and Kuro and wanted to know if we wanted to see you again! So, since Saber-san and Rin-san are getting a piece of you….” Scootaloo-chan, or… is it Illya now?

Honestly? I wasn’t fit to ask as everything went dark and…

<<>>

“I… wasn’t expecting that…” I said as I went over to move the fainted Shirou over to the couch.

“So, Scootaloo, or should I say Illya, does this mean that you, are Kuro?” I ask Rainbow. I had encountered the secondary Illya during Zelretch showing of various alternative realities.

That was a rather… interesting meeting in all honesty.

Rin was still staring somewhat stupefied, something which Fluttershy and Pinkie had in common as well. Though Fluttershy seemed to have a… jealous glint in her eyes? That’s… unexpected honestly given how skittish she could be around Shirou… is she a reincarnation as well?

No… that’s too optimistic in all honesty. Plus I don’t think Fate is that kind.

“That is it!” Fluttershy growled, stomping her hoof. “I may accept Saber-san and Onee-chan with Shirou, but Illya-chan!? You can’t just ask Shirou to rail you in public! That’s just rude””

… But I’ve been wrong before...

“Sakura!?” Rin exclaimed in shock

Flutter-Sakura seemed to calm down, and gave Rin a warm smile and a wave. “Hi onee-chan.”

“Okay… what the bloody buggering hell is going on???” I swore my Welsh accent now rearing up. “If Medea turns out to be here too, I swear to God I will….”

<<>>

I ignored Arturia as she started cursing in a thick Walsh accent and I went over to Fluttershy, who is apparently the reincarnation of my sister, “Sakura? How? How did you get here?”

“Oh, well, while you were off studying in Britain, Medusa and I were making lunch when Zelretch showed up for something to eat and to talk to us.” Sakura explained, “After we finished lunch he told us what he did, forcing you three to reincarnate, and offered Medusa and myself the same opportunity We took it..”

“But… what about your goal?” I asked, “Didn’t you tell me you wanted to remake the Matuo magecraft into something respectable?”

“Well, Zelretch pulled a version of me who had lost everyone and devoted herself to doing just that. Plus, we didn’t get enough bonding time onee-chan.” Sakura hugged me.

I just smiled and returned the hug, “You just wanna ride Shirou’s sword!~” I teased making Sakura blush, though she didn’t deny it.

“Um… Who’s Shirou? And Sakura? And Illya??” Pinkie asked.

I sighed, “Okay Pinkie… and everypony else.” She said, “Let me get that tea Shirou finished before he fainted and sit down. This will take a while I think.”

After almost an hour, mostly of Twilight asking questions, everything was sorted out. When I heard Shirou groaning and push himself off the sofa.

“I just had the weirdest dream…” He muttered, “Scootaloo-chan asked me… then she and Rainbow-nee said they were the reincarnations of my two sisters from my past life as well as an alternate reality…”

“Well…” Scootaloo flushed a bright red while Rainbow Dash coughed into a hoof, “You aren’t wrong onii-san“ Rainbow said

“Whaaa?” Shirou looked so confused and hopeful.

Arturia just sighed, “I’ll explain Shirou.” She said as she guided him into a seperate room.

Rin meanwhile looked at Scootaloo, “... I always had you pegged for a brocon.” She said, “Well… when you were trying to murder us anyway. So… wanna hear something interesting about your onii-chan?” She added with a mischievous grin.

Needless to say that drew everypony’s attention.

<<>>

I entered the living room after Artoria explained everything to her.

Fucking Zelretch… next time I see him I’m going to cook him something special to show my thanks. Sure he might’ve just did it for shits and giggles but all the same I am thankful for it.

I’ve got my girls and my sisters back! If Medusa showed up then everything would be perfect!

Though…. I’m now starting to reconsider seeing as now I’m facing down Scoot- err Illya-chan and… Rillya-chan. In those two piece Japanese swimsuits. Who now knows what I had Rin change into… Oh Root damn it all!

“Onii-chan!~” Rillya and Illya cried in unison, both staring at me with those wide expressive eyes.

I closed my eyes and did some breathing exercises, all the while threatening my penis if it so much as twitched at the assault of the lolis… or is it foalcon now? Meh whatever…

So painfully distorted, I am…

Rainbow, however, is also shooting me what Taiga Fuji-nee once referred to as “bedroom eyes”. So I guess those brocon snarky comments I’ve thought are more right then I like… oh for fucksake! I mean… yeah she’s attractive but… she’s my sister!

It’s wrong and… oh no! You better no so much as twitch!!

… If Rin ever finds out I’m talking to my penis she will never let me live it down…

Rarity and Applejack looked amused much to my irritation, while Pinkie was just laughing… which I honestly expected. And Twilight is… writing? Oh Root…

“So, Shirou onii-chan…” Rainbow, or Kuro/Chloe, purrs as she trots over. “I always knew you had a thing for me.” she smirks.

“C-Chloe-chan! I never!” I sputtered, which made Rarity comment about drama or something along those lines.

Before I could even speak, Kuro had pinned me on my back. Oh Root! Arturia! Anypony! Save me!!

“Hold on Kuro, you promised we could have sex with onii-chan together!” Scootillya stomps her hoof, pouting.

Not what I was asking for but I’ll take it!

“So, is everyone hungry?” I asked changing the subject as subtle as a raging Berserker in a China shop, “Hmm… I could make extra spots for Rarity-san, Applejack-san, and Fluttershy… err Sakura-chan!”

And I shamelessly retreated into the kitchen, my one true safe haven because the whole town knew I am able and fully willing to start throwing swords at anyone that disturbs my kitchen-time!

I take a deep breath, and begin cooking.

Okay Emiya… just relax and cook, find your happy-place…

“Pinkie get out of the momochi.” I said without looking away from the stove.

“Aww!~” Honestly? That made my soul feel good!

With a faint smile I started cooking, absentmindedly turning on the radio. My smile widening faintly when I realized I caught the start of DJ PON3 Wubs and Radio talk.

… Though I’ll admit hearing the giggles and Illya whining made me nervous for some reason…

… Why were we having a party again? My birthday isn’t until next week…

<<>>

“Well that happened.” Kuro said with a snicker. She laid back on the couch, the other partygoers, sans the rest of the Bearers of Harmony, and Illya, had left. She downed a bottle of soda as she answered the rapidfire questions of Twilight Sparkle as best as she could.

Rin was comforting Illya as best she could at her onii-chan’s ‘refusal’ which was… rather frustrating for Rin given the filly’s highly emotional state

Saber honestly looked like she was done, trying to focus on a random magazine she had grabbed off the table.

And Sakura was trying to help Rin console the… oh god Illya was crying now. Kuro sighed and really wondered if she should’ve gotten her hopes up like she did. And Kuro for the life of her didn’t understand why Shirou acted like that!

In Equestrian culture the taboo of sex was nowhere near as strict as it was back on Earth. Hell, harems, or herds as they were known as in Equestria, were quite common. She once recalled walking in on Big Mac railing Cheerilee and a few other mares in one lone fucktrain.

While sex was still considered something private… has long as you were flat-out being a massive exhibitionist you could theoretically had sex wherever you want on the caveat that you not get caught.

And unlike in human culture, Equestrian's age of consent was roughly around fifteen, which was close to the age of consent of 16 in Russia and Kazakhstan.

Any Illya is just a few months shy of hitting fifteen and her libedo was now going fullbore. Most fillies would’ve already been experimenting but Illya was holding out for her big brother wanting him to take her virginity. And the times Illya experimented didn’t count. As they were, more or less, the same person, one could consider it a form of masturbation.

Actually it was rather sweet… if a tad creepy once you think about it.

But still… that doesn’t answer the question as to why Shirou, who had clearly ‘gone native’ for the lack of a better term, had freaked out. Sure there was a faint stigma attached to foalcon but nowhere near as bad as in human culture.

Honestly the worst that would happen was probably some snide comments about being unable to get a proper mare and a stern warning to not go sniffing around anypony younger then fifteen.

But then again Shirou probably wouldn’t get those comments seeing as he regularly rails a dragon and a ‘pony’ so… honestly it’d probably be chucked up to him wanting a little variety or something.

And clearly from the story Rin shared Shirou wasn’t displeased by the thought of rutting his sister, or at least his body wasn’t. But… the question is why did Shirou still hold on to his human views on sex?

Could it be related to his ‘distortion’ as Rin calls it?

Shirou had clearly assimilated into ponyhood very well. Hmm, it was definitely something Kuro would have to consider...

Hmm, maybe that brush and white mane dye she had would help….”Hey Illya,” she called over to her smaller sort of clone, “I have an idea to get you riding Shirou’s dick, alongside me….” she grinned.

“Really Kuro-chan!?” Illya squeaked, which Kuro found adorable, excitedly.

Kuro patted Illya’s head and the orange filly’s eyes shone. “Yeah,” she grabbed the brush and dye, “Time for a makeover.” she gagged at saying the work, but escorted Illya into the closest bathroom.

Rin giggled, “Let me help out with that!~” She said as she followed after them.

’Oh little brother… prepare to have your world rocked tonight!~’ Kuro thought mischievously.

While the trio were helping get Kuro and Illya ready for multidimensional incestual lewdness, a certain green dragon came down from the mountainside, eager to repay the slight upon his draconian pride, with fire and his toxic shit.

<<>>

After centering myself and unwinding through cooking and listening to DJ PON3’s rather amusing ramblings I found myself thinking about Illya’s… infatuation with me.

I was well aware that in Equestria there was little to no taboos regarding sex, hell Rainbow-nee… or rather Chloe-nee and my parents were particularly adventurous and well… very hooves-on when they gave me ‘The Talk’ when puberty reared its ugly head.

I honestly couldn’t look at either of them in the face for months afterwards… it’s amazing I didn’t have a sibling from their demonstration.

… And I’m pretty sure the fact that they had a ‘captive’ audience made them more… enthusiastic…

… Don’t. Stop thinking about that!

However, as I muse over the ramifications of all this, my ears perked up at the sound of large beating wings. Frowning I turned off the stove as well as the radio to better listen, yeah. Those are definitely wings… and they don’t sound like Pegasus wings either…

Dragon wings… I had heard them enough when Arturia and I go racing…

Now… what could a dragon be doing coming here?

Removing my I am the Bone of my Spatula apron and putting it aside I went outside to investigate.

… Isn’t that the dragon I threatened with death if he ever came back to start shit?

Maybe he’s just coming to get his little horde of gems? Heh… yeah. That’s too naively optimistic even for me.

I race out of the house, alongside the others, to find the dragon Fluttershy had chastised belching fire and smoke into the air….as well as defecating vigorously. The last time I saw a dragon defecate that much was Arturia after Pinkie threw that seven beans, meat, and cheese chimicherry party a few days ago. I still feel bad for the toilet.

I narrowed my eyes when everypony started panicking.

… I had long stopped trying to figure out why music played whenever I did something Chole-nee, and I quote, badflank. Instead if hovered slightly in the air.

There was a bang in my head, my circuts came to life.

Absentmindedly I heard Rin cursing in German, wonder what’s got her upset? Probably something involving Illya-chan and Kuro

Anway, I have a large, fire breathing and defecating dragon to deal with. Not the first time, but this dragon is a fair bit larger than Arturia. Hmm, I have a few dragonslaying weapons in my arsenal, but they could be a tad bit overkill.

And nowhere near as attractive as the King of Knights but I just might be slightly bias in that regard.

Now… what to use? A lot of my weapons are simply too destructive to use. Hmm… I rubbed my chest before I smirked as I started the process to Trace the Noble Phantasm that brought me and Arturia together all those years ago…

Hmm… I think a three-count aria will suffice…

”I am the bone of my sword
Steel is my body, and fire is my blood
I have created over a thousand blades”

.

I feel the prana build in my hooves, as a long, thin shaft forms in my hooves. Crimson in color, faint barbs run across the spear, and the intense bloodlust and murderous desires filled the air.

Gae Bolg; the Barbed Spear which Pierces Death. In Celtic folklore, it was the iconic weapon of Cu Chulainn, Ireland’s Child of Light, the Hound of Ulster, who geass’d himself as to never eat dog meat, and to never refuse meat given by a woman. Forged from the bones of the Coinchenn, it altered causality, so that it will, certain circumstances notwithstanding, pierce its target, even if seemingly dodged, and has a chance for the dulled spines surrounding the shaft to sharpen, and lengthen, impaling the enemy from the inside out.

In other words. When the Noble Phantasm is invoked… the thrusting of the spear is merely a formality.

He was also Servant Lancer in the Fourth Holy Grail war and he impaled my heart before I was even a Master. It's only thanks to Rin, Avalon, and Arturia that I’m even still alive.

But ultimately Cu is the sort of guy that would gladly drink with you despite knowing he’ll probably have to kill you the next day.

Now… I have a Dragon to Slay…

I flew up before I charged the dragon, Invoking the Noble Phantasm, as I ascended.”GAE BOLG!!” while thrusting the crimson lance forward.

It whistled through the air, a fiery red aura enveloping it as it slammed into an exposed bit of flesh, right in front of the dragon’s heart.

The dragon, much to my surprise given its bulk, managed to dodge… only to fall and crash into the ground outside the city, roaring in anguish as a multitude of twisted red barbs erupted from within, turning it into a pincushion from the inside-out.

Huh… maybe a three-count aria was a bit much...

I sighed before letting the spear burst into lights and flew back home, only to feel a strange existential dread when I realized Twilight would be asking questions…

… Well she’s aware I reincarnated so… might as well…

God damn it this is going to suck...

“Please Twilight-san… let me prepare some tea before I answer your questions.” I said with a sigh as I landed, cutting off Twilight just as she opened her mouth, quill and parchment ready.

Twilight huffed but nodded with a grumble.

I just nodded before I trotted back inside my house and started to make some tea, snorting as I realized just how ‘badflank’ as Chole-nee would put it I must’ve seemed.

When I got inside, Chloe-nee and Illya-chan were gushing all over me. Honestly… I’m just glad that I didn’t exhaust myself by Tracing that Noble Phantasm. While Gae Bolg isn’t a high rank Noble Phantasm it still takes quite a bit of prana to manifest.

Thank you Phantasmal Beasthood and a more relaxed Gaia.

Alongside this, I would have some...help restoring my mana soon enough.

… Seems like Chole-nee and Illya-chan might get their wishes after all...

Finishing up the tea I got out some clean cups and set everything up. The group thanks me for the warm tea. After I took a calming drink I sat my cup down and looked at Twilight.

“Ask your questions.” I said, “Though one at a time and please, allow me to answer them.”

“What was that spear you used??” Twilight asked, “And why did if feel so… violent?”

“That is Gae Bolg.” I could’ve called her on asking two questions but decided not too, “The legend states the spear killed so much that it gained a desire to kill more.” Not entirely accurate but fundamentally true.

Why is Applejack-san looking at me like that? Oh… ‘Element of Honesty’ so… well technically I wasn’t lying. Oversimplifying, yes. But not lying.

“I can’t say I’m familiar with a legend with a weapon like that.” Twilight said, “I assume this is related to your… ‘past life’?”

“Yes.” I honestly wasn’t bothered by her disbelief regarding my past life, “I, along with Rin, Arturia, and apparently Chole… err Rainbow-nee and Illya… I mean Scootaloo-chan were reincarnated. Rainbow-nee was from an alternate universe to my own. and Sakura… I mean Fluttershy.” God, we’re all going to have to have a sit down and figure all this out.

Do I refer to them by their human names or pony names?

Pony names when public and human names when private? Yeah… I’ve been doing that already so nothing so different.

“How did you summon the spear?” Twilight asked curiously.

“A specialized form of Magecraft I call Tracing.” I answered, “WIth Tracing I can recreate the accumulated years, history, materials used in its construction, as well as any Mysteries the weapon has. In my past life I was much more limited in my usage of Tracing.”

I then explained, as much as I knew, of Magecraft and True Magic to Twilight with her scribbling rapidly, and the others lending a hoof or claw. Rin’s input was a godsend in my opinion, her being a first-rate magus as well as the student of Thaumaturgy for longer, she was infinitely more knowledgeable than me in all things related to Magecraft and True Magic.

After what felt like hours Twilight finally stopped asking questions, I had to refill the teapot three times in total, and just when I thought that finally this day was going to finally come to an end… somepony knocked on my door.

Being the gentlecolt I am I went and answered the door, opening the door to see… a group of guards. Great…

“Can I help you gentlestallions?” I asked, swallowing hard.

“The Princesses are requesting your presence at the castle.” The apparent leader said in a professional monotone.

God… when will this day fucking end!?

<<>>

Celestia watched as her little sister paced back and forth with minor irritation, yes she sensed the massive mana-bloom and bloodlust herself as well as saw the dragon, who must’ve been a few centuries old, drop over dead. But you don’t see her pacing and stewing in her paranoia do you??

“Lulu, please calm down.” Celestia said softly, holding up a hoof.

“Sister!? Do you know what this even means??” Luna exclaimed, “Correct me if I’m wrong but Equestria hasn’t experienced war for the past thousand years correct?”

Celestia just nodded, deciding to let Luna just get it all out instead of bottling it all up. That’s what cause Nightmare Moon to happen so… lessons learned.

“That means if there is an enemy capable of slaying an aged dragon that easily imagine the damage that could be done before we can capture the perpetrator!?” Luna went on, apparently not even realizing Celestia nodded in agreement.

“Luna, that dragon was terrorizing the townsfolk, and was a bandit besides.” Celestia said softly. “But you have a point”

Before Celestia could go on to calm down her warrior-princess of a sister a group of guards entered escorting a pegasus with a curious looking cutie mark on his rather toned flanks.

“Princesses.” The guard leader said before they all bowed.

The only one that didn’t bow was the pegasus who just nodded to them. While most would see his actions as insolent and disrespectful Celestia found it to be a breath of fresh air. Of course Luna didn’t see it that way, much to Celestia’s chagrin.

“Yes guard? Have you brought the perpetrator?” Luna asked, taking a seat.

“Perpetrator?” The pegasus muttered, “So… was I supposed to let the dragon burn down Ponyville and do buck-all?”

“Yes Princess. This is Blade Works, younger brother of the Bearer of Loyalty.” THe guard continued.

“Her name is Rainbow Dash you massive pillock.” Blade Works grumbled, “So… this is what Princess Luna looks like after she was hit by the Elements? Huh… kinda cute.”

Luna blushed purple, looking away. “Do not say such things knave. I know you, and how you charm mares into your bed!”

“... Charm? I’ll have you know Saber and Radiant drag me to bed.” Blade Works said dryly, “And I’m not being charming. I’m stating an observation. Sure Nightmare Moon had this intimidating allure but honestly? I don’t rut crazy… well I try not too anyway…”

Celestia found this stallion rather amusing, but she didn’t let that distract herself from studying the stallions magic. Being an Alicorn, Celestia as well as her sister, could perceive much more than regular ponies and what she saw was… both fascinating and somewhat worrying…

… She saw his Magic is of Iron and his Soul like Steel. This is a stallion that went through great trials and tribulations. She could see metaphysical wounds on his body, mind, and soul!

Celestia shook her head and focused, oh dear… Luna was now throwing abuse at a stoic Blade Works. Though she could see a faint glimmer of amusement in his eyes. Perhaps she could finally get her sister laid…

If anything this provided Celetia with plenty of teasing material for the next few months. Possibly even a year or two!

Though Celestia decided that she should step in before Luna gets violent, “Sister please! Calm down!” She exclaimed, “And guards you’re dismissed.”

The guards bowed before they left in single file.

“... So are they trained to be that stoic? Or is it a requirement of the job?” Blade Works asked curiously

Amusingly Luna both looked curious and insulted by the question...

“Most of them train, some naturally are.” Celestia said, smiling. “Now Blade, my sister and I have some questions for you.” she said, softly, but sternly.

“... You’re not going to drill me like Sparkle-san did are you?” Blade Works asked, “Cause I’m pretty sure if you asked she’ll give you all the notes she made.”

Celestia blinked at that before she giggled, “Yes Twilight has that effect on ponies.” She said with a smile, “And while I’ll ask Twilight for a copy… I would much rather hear you answer our questions.”

Blade Works just sighed, “Fair enough.” He said, “Would it be too much to ask for some tea? I already went through an inquisition earlier.” Celestia nodded, as a few cups of tea were brought out.

Celestia also conjured up a small table and seats for them all to sit at. And Celestia watched with interest as Blade Works poured the tea for them all before sitting down and taking a sip be a pleased sigh.

“Okay. How about you both trade questions? I know Luna-hime has questions as well.” Blade work said calmly.

“Alright, first of all. How did you kill this dragon?” Celestia asked, sipping.

“By Tracing Gae Bolg.” Blade Work answered, “The weapon of a legendary spearman. The spear is also known as the Barbed Spear which Pierces Death. It reverses causality.” He explained more about the legendary lance.

Celestia sputtered her tea as she heard the ghastly history behind the legendary weapon! A weapon that killed so much it developed a form of sentience? A mortal weapon that became cursed and demonic in nature? Why would anypony use such a horrific thing??

And… didn’t he mean spearpony? Men, or rather Humans, didn’t exist in Equestria at least not natively.

… Did this stallion somehow come in contact with the Crystal Mirror?? But how?

Celestia raised a hoof. “Mr. Works, may I ask how you know of humans?” she asked, inquisitively quirking an eyebrow

Blade Works furrowed his brows in thought for a few minutes as he sipped his tea, however Luna was never the patient sort, ironically enough.

Though then again fighting and talking are to very different things; in a fight Lulu could outwait almost anypony, talking on the other hoof… she gets… antsy.

“Answer my sister’s question knave!” She exclaimed, just a few decibels short of using the Royal Canterlot Voice.

Blade Works just gave her an unimpressed look before looking at Celestia, “What do you know about reincarnation?” He asked.

Luna scoffed at the notion whereas Celestia looked thoughtful.

“You claim that you are a reincarnated human?” Celestia asked, “Then… shouldn’t you have no memories of your past life? I believe that’s how reincarnation generally works.”

“Yeah. I don’t know everything but I know who to blame for it.” Blade Works said dryly, “I might not like the blood-sucking bastard but I am grateful for what he did.”

“You speak of Zelretch?” Luna asked, piqued.

She had encountered the Second Magician numerous times, being a vampire (not that the citizens knew this themselves) herself. She would qualify as a True Ancestor but in her rebellious younger years had told them to, in old Equish, “Suck on thine mother’s cock” and then left.

She, however was cordial with the old trickster. And the White Princess was simply too sweet in her cluelessness to hate despite knowing just how monstrously powerful she is.

“Yep. That sounds like the bastard.” Blade Works said, “At least Radiant will be... pleased to know that she can resume her studies in the Second True Magic… maybe?” He added with a shrug

“Well, if he sent you and any of your compatriots to another world he must of had some reason. The Second Magician rarely does things out of boredom. Well, aside from once getting into a drinking contest with Merlin and Starswirl…” Celestia said nostalgically.

Blade Works just stared, “... That doesn’t line up with what I heard.” He said, “But I never personally interacted with him. I was too busy with my own studies and taking Enforcer jobs to really get to know him thankfully.”

“Ah, well I suppose we can let you off with a warning. But please, if you can, ask Twilight or this Radiant if they can put up a barrier. Phantasmal spells and the like can be, ah destructive if the user slips up for even a second.” Celestia said, stretching. “If you ever have any more questions, or would like to simply talk over tea, have Twilight sent a letter.” she smiled warmly.

“Hmm… I think a talk would be wonderful.” Blade Works said with a smile, “I’ve never been in the presence of actual royalty before… alternate timeline and Servant shenanigans not counting of course.” While Arturia was the King of Knights, she wasn’t King of England anymore.

Celestia just smiled and sent off for some more tea while Luna just pouted, Celestia figured she was hoping for something more exciting.

Well too bad for her.

Author's Note

Yeah at the request of a reader I'm phasing out Shirou and Rin swearing by the Root. Apparently it is bad fanon and irritates some readers. Honestly I was never aware of this and when Dio suggested it I thought it sounded good. But anyway yeah no more "Root-damn it" and the like. If I remember I'll go back and edit out all the other Root things in previous chapters.

7- The Next Day (Unbeta'd)

<<>>

After a rather pleasant conversation with the two ruling princesses I decided to fly back home instead of taking the train. Princess Celestia tried to offer me a ride back home but I declined, as they flight will give me time to think about how things have changed.

I went from having a relatively peaceful life, bar the occasional shenanigans that happen to the town on a semi-regular basis, to now having gained the attention of the Princesses who know that myself, Rin, and Arturia are reincarnated humans.

Oh and now I’ve been awarded the title Dragon Slayer, heh… more like layer but only with Arturia, and an offer to join either of the Guards.

Though in all honesty? This entire meeting was very pleasant, sure Luna didn’t trust me not that I could really fault her in that regard. Sure I played part in her… release I suppose, but ultimately I was just a very sturdy meat shield while Rain… Chloe-nee and her friends charged the Elements.

Actually I really need to ask Rin to check me out to see what, if anything, happened seeing as I was caught in the crossfire of a purifying conceptual laser of doom.

Taste the rainbow heh… though… given how Chloe-nee has been looking at me that just might happen in a less metaphorical and more sexual manner…

… I’m still not entirely sure how to feel about that… regardless of how sexually free ponies are in comparison to humans.

Goddamn it… I think I’m under the “May you live in interesting times” curse…

I blame my curse on Zelretch… goddamn leech...

A few hours later, it was well past dusk and nighttime was steadily approaching, I finally landed just outside of my house and entered without any ceremony.

I was tired and all I really wanted was to go to sleep and hopefully forget today ever happened!

But sadly I couldn’t, not yet anyway. I needed to talk to Rin about arranging some tests to figure out if the Element magic did anything to me… probably should also identify my dual element as well.

I also needed to do the dishes and general tidying up as well. However, with how much Tracing Gae Bolg had taken out of me, I needed some rest..

So when I saw everything was already tidied up and the dishes carefully stacked near the sink I was surprised but extremely grateful. I looked around wondering who did it, Rin? Arturia?

Bah, it really didn’t matter in all honesty.

I’ll do the dishes tomorrow… night now all I wanted was to take a shower, maybe take a few minutes to read the latest Daring Doo book, and finally crawl into bed and sleep like a log!

Though I was curious. Did Chloe-nee and Illya-chan go to their homes? Actually… I don’t even know where Illya-chan even lives. Maybe with Chole-nee? Actually doesn’t she stay with an… aunt or something?

Stop it brain. Shower first.

WIth a stretch, getting many pleasing bones popping, I made my way upstairs and immediately went to the bathroom for a nice hot shower.

As I exited the bathroom after finishing the shower and entered my bedroom I was greeted with Rin, Illya-chan, Chloe-nee, and Arturia sitting on the bed chatting. And I realized that my ah, “sword” was on display..

Oh god dammit not again! I just want to sleep!!

“Chole-nee, Illya-chan please stop staring.” I begged faintly, “All I want is some sleep…”

Was I whining? Maybe a little but damn it I was running on fumes! Maybe I should’ve taken the train instead of flying all the way back.

“Come on girls.” Rin said with a bemused smile, “While it’s clear the flesh is willing the spirit isn’t into it. And I’ll be honest I prefer him to be an active participant instead of just laying their like a living sextoy.”

Arturia nodded in agreement with a bright blush, “Yes…. so contain your lusts. There is a time and a place.” She chided.

Honestly a part of me wanted to snicker when Chole-nee and Illya-chan whined but I simply didn’t want to tempt fate. Instead I closed my eyes and thought the most unsexy thoughts I could manage.

It took some effort on my part but eventually my unruly penis returned to its sheath.

“Okay… now I suppose Chole-nee and Illya-chan are staying over?” I asked, “I can fix up the guest room if they don’t mind sharing a bed…” Oh god they were giggling…

“Well, if you do that onii-chan well we DO need mana to fly and both of us are tired….” Kuro grinned.

No, bad brain, stop it!

I almost choked on my tongue inspiring another titter of giggles from Rin and a chuckle from Arturia and when I got control of myself I gave my two reincarnated sister a glare, “Not funny.” I said flatly.

“Who’s being funny?” Chole-nee said cheekily, “But seriously stud. We’re not leaving. If we can ‘t fuck you then damn it we’ll cuddle you!”

“And… what are the chances Illya will wake him up with a tongue bath?” Rin muttered dryly with an amused smile.

“I would join in.” Kuro smirked.

“I’m surrounded by deviants…” Arturis muttered.

Rin gave her an unimpressed look, “Honestly like you’re any better.” She said dryly, “After all didn’t you fantasize about being mounted by your horse when you were human? Or all those incestual trysts regarding Mordred?”

Heh… I hadn’t seen that shade of red in a long time.

Shaking my head I cleared my throat, “WHatever. You two can sleep with us.” I said, “No funny stuff however. I just want to get some sleep.” I then plopped down into bed, Arturia and Rin taking up either side of me.

Both Kuro and Illya whined cutely, as my sisterly duo crawled onto either side of Arturia and Rin. I just sighed before I climbed into bed myself and laid down to relax.

And in short order I wound up at the bottom of a cuddle pile with a changeling, two ponies, and a dragon. At least they, at the moment, didn’t want to have sex with me.

Seriously sometimes I think my dick is about to fall off! And that’s just with Arturia!

With Rin I swear it’s like she’s trying to suck my soul out through my penis!

And now with Kuro and Illya...I fear for the existence of my penis, and whether or not I’d go to jail I know incest isn’t nearly as taboo as it was back on earth when I was human, I mean yeah it wasn’t accepted with open arms but other then getting some weird looks nothing much happens.

Now foalcon… that’s a hot topic. Seriously, not even the Princesses are willing to touch that subject

Just stop it brain… go to sleep. You desperately need it!

… All the same there are worse ways to go…

Goddamnit!!

I awoke to find something or rather someone, nuzzling my groin. I feared opening my eyes because I knew it wasn’t Rin or Arthura…

However I decided to take a shot in the dark, “... Illya-chan?”

My eyes slowly crack open, and I look downward.

Only to have… Chloe-nee stare back at me cheekily, “Technically you’re not wrong…” She said, “Though Rin dragged her off before she could start tonguing your sheath.”

“Oh goddamnit…” I groaned as I rolled out of bed.

Now I had to deal with my morning wood. Hmmm, I suppose I could ask one of the others for, ah, “relief” though saying that I… really didn’t want to tempt fate. So using some of that indomitable will, as well as unsexy thoughts, I got my raging morning wood under control, I mean, I was still hard, but I at least managed to push my urge to unleash it under control.

Splashing water on my face, I head out of the bathroom, and downstairs, to make breakfast.

Though I had to stop myself from chuckling when I saw Illya-chan standing in the corner, no doubt with the biggest pout on her face, with Rin keeping an eye on her with a bemused smile on her face.

“Everything okay?” I asked curiously.

“I wanted to suck you Onii-chan!” Illya-chan whined, eyeing my still existent boner, purring.

Rin just gave me an extremely smug ‘You knew this was going to happen’ look which made me roll my eyes.

“Anyway Rin. Later I want your help to see if being hit by that Rainbow laser did anything to me.” I said deciding to ignore the longing look I was getting from Illya-chan.

“I’d love to help.” Rin leads me to the Workshop she’s set up, which includes, among other things, a fair few bookshelves, some sort of scanning device and a radio.

Ah… the technophobe has come far it seems!~ I bet if I turned it on it’d be on that station that Vinyl’s radio show is on too!

“Alright, so, do I just hop in here?” I asked, gesturing to the chair sat below the scanner.

“Yeah.” RIn said, “... Want me to take care of that for you? We’re completely alone and Illya’s still in the corner…”

“Oh, um, I guess….” My cheeks tinge red, as I sit down, and spread my hind legs.

I relax, and let Rin suck me off.

Thankfully it didn’t take long for me to cum and Rin took it like a champ. After she removed herself from my retracting penis she turned on the scanner and started to do whatever she does in her Workshop.

I just closed my eyes and meditated, though I’m pretty sure Chloe-nee would say I was napping though. Like she’s one to talk. I’ve seen her sleeping like a log.

Regardless I relaxed and waited, if I dozed off Rin would wake me up when it was finished…

Or perform some experiment on me… I give it 50/50 odds either way…

Omake: Karaoke! (unbeta'd)

<<>>

Today was Illya’s, and extension, Kuro’s birthday. They had, unfortunately, decided to host a Karaoke competition. Now, I may not have much expertise in singing (aside from a rather embarrassing incident involving 11-year old me, Kaleidostick Ruby, and a stage which I will never speak of not even if Shirou offered to make me a chocoholic’s heart attack triple stack cake! OK, MAYBE then), even I think this could go horribly.

And yet… I am also looking forward to whatever shitshow this would become. Besides this would make for a good chance to finally study this ‘Music of Harmony’ phenomenon amongst ponies.

Though I am curious as to what Shirou is going to make for Kuro and Illya, especially after he played “Pin the Tail on the Pony” quite literally with Pinkie.

Heh… so cute. I think he’s a Siscon in denial with how territorial he was acting, saying that he was making his sisters birthday cake!

Kuro had only just now managed to get Pinkie’s mane and tail it’s usually poofy state. For the strangest reason when her mane and tail are ruler-straight it’s oddly intimidating…

With a smile I looked over and saw Arturia entertaining the CMC and Spike with tales of heroism and valor.

Though she decidedly didn’t tell them of the Holy Grail War… mostly because no matter how you pretty it up it’s still a horror story in all honesty. Plus it still brought up some bad memories…

Though seeing the two of the CMC enthralled by Arturia was rather amusing and heartwarming. Illya, or Scootaloo, or whatever she preferred was sat back humming with a small amused smile on her muzzle.

Now… do I risk peaking in on Shirou when he’s in full Territorial Chef mode?

The last time I did so I ducked out fast behind a door, and the thudding of a dozen Traced kitchen knives just ensured I would never interrupt him when he’s ‘in the zone’ as Rarity would say.

Speaking of our local fashionista… where is she anyway?

I looked around, actually where are the rest of the girls? Other then Pinkie and Sakura I haven’t seen the others…

Oh don’t tell me they’re still holding The Incident against him are they? Shirou, hell we all apologized for it! And Twilight was able to figure out how to fix it… eventually.

Stupid temperamental ponies…

Speaking of my sister, she and Medusa are watching a nature documentary on Shirou’s TV. Rainbow is sat next to Sakura.

“So how are we going to do this party?” I asked curiously, “From what I can tell most of your friends ditched Rainbow.”

Sakura crossed her hooves, “I don’t understand why though.” SHe said, “You, Blade, and Saber apologized for The Incident. It’s hard to imagine them holding a grudge…”

“Maybe they’re getting gifts?” Rainbow smirked, leaning back, she sips a can of soda humming, “Or maybe they’re gonna be late.” she shrugged

“Or they could be holding a grudge because of The Incident sis.” Ah Shirou… always assuming the worst but hopes for the best…

Shirou trotted over and sat down beside Medusa, “So how’s the birthday filly?” He asked with a teasing smirk.

Kuro, or Rainbow… whichever, just rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out before smirking. “I’m sure Scoots and I will feel much better once we get our birthday present from you, onee-san.” she licked her lips sensually at him.

Thankfully Sweetie and Applebloom seemed to miss the painfully obvious sexual overtones from what Kuro said. Scootaloo plopped onto his lap, wiggling against it.

I cleared my throat, “Alright you two, maybe we can do this later…..” I suggest.

The two whined, but stop teasing Shirou. I did notice however he had to cross his hind legs over his crotch rather quickly while giving Illya an irritated look.

While I too enjoy putting Shirou in awkward spots… Illya should know better then to do that when Sweetie Belle and Applebloom are present!

Besides… she cheated anyway. What sort of stallion wouldn’t get excited when you have a hot little piece of ass squirming in your lap? It’s more impressive when you don’t do anything blatantly sexual. For instance, Sakura can make our little group wet and hard, somehow I’ve still not figured her trick out yet, with a swish of her tail and flicking her mane back.

Seriously, that mare should be in modeling!

“We’ll see.” I said, “Now seeing as Blade’s here I imagine the cake is in the oven. So let’s watch tv until it’s time.” I sit next to Kuro, as the nature documentary plays it.

Its apparently on the winterzilla

For such a little guy to start with, it could get really nasty. Anyway, soon the other girls arrive, each wishing the duo a happy birthday. Personally I find it amusing that Kuro and Illya have the same birthdays. I mean, even if they are the same person, technically anyway… they’ve diverged a whole lot so they’re only physically idental now.

Well…when they were human anyway. Except the whole “magic darkening Kuro’s skin and lightening her hair color” bit, though then again there is an argument to be made that the darkening of her skin and gold eyes was due to the Archer class card. Alternate timelines were always so confusing.

“So… how’re we going to get this karaoke party going?” Shirou asked curiously.

“Well… seeing as I couldn’t make the cake.” Pinkie actually glared at Shirou over that, “I figured we need a DJ! Oh! This would be like Epic Rap Battles of Ponyville! Only less rap battles and more karaoke!”

Oh yeah, I remember those. DJ Pon-3, or Vinyl as she goes when not on duty, runs them every Tuesday and Thursday, weather permitting of course. Honestly more often than not they were hilarious!

Twilight nearly shit bricks when Luna and Celestia actually battled! She did shit though, much to her embarrassment, though that was probably more due to the Royal Canterlot Voice being used in intervals.

Yeah; Luna can be pretty bowel loosening when she wanted, Celestia too when she’s angry. Not that I have any personal experience, nope, none in the slightest.

Fortunately for Twilight, as very few ponies wore clothes, she didn’t have any laundry to do. Arturia and I help Shirou set up the tables. The gifts are stacked on one table, the plates and utensils on another.

And after sometime the cake was finished and as Shirou wheeled it out Vinyl arrived with the other partygoers.

Well I know I certainly won’t forget this party anytime soon… just a feeling I’ve got…

Vinyl and Pinkie supplied the karaoke equipment and after everything was set up Vinyl manned, or rather mared, her station in the booth.

“Now who’s our first contestant!?” The blue-maned deejay asked.

I saw Rainbow grin before she took the makeshift stage… oh this is going to be terribly wonderful!~

<<>>

I hummed in thought as I skimmed through a list of available songs, ‘What to choose, what to choose…’ I thought as I skimmed the list.

I skimmed the list, most of them were crappy pop songs, but then I found something perfect. I called over Illya, or Scootaloo, and whispered my idea into her ear. Illya giggled at the idea and nodded her head eagerly with a grin.

We’d do this duet, then two solo songs.

I trotted up to Vinyl and told her which song I’d chosen for the duet.

Vinyl grinned before she dropped the bass and turned the music on, Illya and I taking our positions so we could sing our duet.

I could see Rin, and Arturia chuckling a bit, while Shirou gives us a warm smile. Oh onee-chan, we’ve got so much more for you to hear!~

The crowd applauds as the two of us take a bow, trying to keep our wings from going rigid.

“That was amazing girls!” Twilight said as she clapped with a smile.

Shirou nodded as well, “What next onee-san?” He asked with a warm smile though I could see a very faint sense of wariness in his eyes.

No doubt he was wondering when the other hoof would drop. I just gave him an innocent grin that made his eyes narrow as he moved to sit at the nearest table, shifting a bit. I lick my lips, knowing just what he’s hiding.

Rin and Arthura found the entire thing amusing, though the King of Knights did shoot me a disapproving look at me. To which I just shrugged in response.

Illya returned to her seat, while Sweetie and Applebloom asked her where she learned to sing like that and check to see if she got a singing cutie mark! I giggled with a smile before I nodded at Vinyl before the music started back up.

And I started to sing and dance.

Shirou just squirmed even more and tried not to stare. While Applejack and Rarity covered their sisters eyes. Twilight tried to do the same to Illya but she just squirted out of her grasp and cheered me on.

Rin was all out cackling now while Arturia was just facepalming, playfully rolling her eyes.

Shirou… well… he probably didn’t know if he should throw swords at me or clop one out real quick… but judging as how the World hadn’t become Swords I bet he was clopping one out real quick! Ha!~

I finish my song, winking towards Shirou, and strut off the stage. Illya cheers, before galloping on to do her own song.

“Oh god… please no more…” I heard Shirou mutter with a twitch as he minutely relaxed , trying to force his hooves not to go beneath the table.

Illya whispered to Vinyl before the mare smiled and nodded before the music started and Illya started to sing and dance, swaying.

“Oh you cheeky little brat…” I muttered with amusement feeling a little hot to trot myself.

I looked over and… damn Shirou can move when he wants to. I bet his Circuits are on fire from using Reinforcement to move that quickly.

… I’ll take this as confirmation. Shirou is definitely a Siscon. Excellent

<<>>
<<>>

“Okay everypony! Last song of the evening before DJ PON3 checks out! Any takers!?” Vinyl called out.

“Blade with do it!” I looked at Rin with wide eyes at this sudden betrayal!

I didn’t want to sing!!

Eventually though I was bullied into taking the stage and with a sigh I looked through the list of tracks I could sing too. After a few minutes I stopped at one and… well it might be a little on the nose but… I think Arturia would appreciate it!

Though I refuse to dance. I’m pretty graceful in a fight but dancing? I got four left hooves… though I suppose Twilight’s a worse dancer then I am judging from what I heard.

Selecting the song I cleared my throat before I started to sing.

When the music ended and Vinyl started to pack up I looked over and saw… Arturia as well as Rin, Kuro, and Illya giving me bedroom eyes…

… I need an adult...