The Bullet That Can Kill Time

by Prince Conjure

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Trixie, Sunset Shimmer
Length: 5864

Four characters. All with a dark past. All vying to get away. Might as well shoot it to death.

The Gungeon is a mystery to all, which makes it intriguing. Heroes and criminals, the good and bad, are equalized within the Gungeon. Regardless of their status, all of them come to find one legend.

The gun that can kill time. The bullet that rips through memories and imparts new ones. All it would take is a single shot to erase the past and correct the future.

This tells the tale of four Gungeoneers, and their quest to defeat the Gungeon.

Enter The Gungeon crossover, if you couldn't tell.

Published 2017-05-11 02:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-07-10 08:47:29 UTC

Mandatory Introduction Sequence

Most Gungeoneers agree that the first breath is the best. It’s like swallowing warm tea with honey. It almost made the horrific death they were certain to have down here worth it.

Starlight felt herself come back to the world of the living very quickly. The first breath was more of an aggravated grunt. She fell onto the hard ground of the Breach from the air just a few feet above it. When she landed, all of her guns were stripped from her, and she was rendered mostly powerless. Still, she was upset and wasn’t above choking someone out.

The Breach was particularly empty now, since at midday everyone was off in the Gungeon, each trying their hardest to reach the end and claim it’s glory. The room was large, probably able to hold hundreds of people comfortably, and cool as air passed through it. Starlight stalked over to her corner of the room, making her way to her large tent. It was meant to house four people, none of which were there at the moment.

Starlight pulled back the flaps and entered, planning to sit down for a few minutes before heading back down. Through the small sliver of the tent’s flaps, she could see the vast blackness that led to the bottom of the Gungeon. Hell awaited her down there, and she wasn’t very eager to get back to it.

She got back up, feeling like her break wasn’t helping her any, and headed out. She went to the middle of the chamber, climbed the large set of stairs there, and walked up to the door. Two guards were standing in her way, their spear-guns held strong by their metallic bullet hands.

They didn’t stop Starlight when she walked between them, allowing her to pass down another flight of stairs. Through here was darkness, and despite her and her teammate's attempts to light it, the passage remained that way. She guessed it was to hide exactly when you left the Breach and entered the Gungeon.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she found herself in a new chamber illuminated by torchlight. Despite the Breach being lit with bulbs, the Gungeon decided it was going to stay true to its roots and act like a dungeon. On the floor, there was a large circular hole in the floor, which automatically filled itself as Starlight dropped down into it. Before hitting the ground, Starlight felt her weapon reappear on her waist, secured within its holster, as she hit the floor.

“Thank God,” said Sunset, watching as her partner landed on the floor. “I think I might’ve killed her myself if you hadn’t shown up.” Trixie, the person in question, snarled at the Sunset.

“I’m standing right here,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. Starlight sighed like a parent having to deal with her two problem children. It was made even more upsetting that one of them was around her age. Starlight noticed her last partner silent in the corner, fiddling with the locket around her neck. Luna stuffed it back into her shirt before turning to Starlight and the rest.

“Are we going?” she said in her monotonous voice. Starlight watched her stalk over to the door and pull out her pistol. “The first room won’t clear itself.”

“She right,” said Starlight. “Let’s not waste time arguing and spend it beating this stupid dungeon.”

“It’s actually pretty intelligent,” said Trixie. “Its walls move around every time someone enters, it has traps that require skill and precision to break through, and it has sentient bullets!”

Starlight never really got over that last part. Even having been here almost six months now, she found the fact that the people who ran this dungeon were basically walking, talking, shooting bullets extremely baffling. Trixie was right. This place was fascinating.

“Shut up, Trixie,” said Starlight, walking over to Luna. She pulled out her pistol, glanced at Luna and pushed the door open with a loud thunk.

The small rectangular room near instantly became a battle zone. Bullets were flying everywhere and making it really hard to not be left holier than a church on Sunday. Starlight, doing the smart thing, tipped over a long table, letting all of her companions duck behind it.

“Well,” said Sunset, pulling her shotgun from its holster. “We’re off to a rollicking good start!”

“Less talking, more shooting,” said Luna, poking her head out as a number of bullets started to diminish. She popped off a few shots past the table before ducking from another wave. Starlight took a deep breath and withdrew her own pistol. She vaulted the table and took aim at her enemies: three Bulletkin and a Hollowpoint. She rattled off her pistol, taking down two of the Bulletkin before rolling out of the way of another volley of bullets. Using her distraction, the other three focused their fire on the other two bullets and eventually took them out.

“Good job, team,” complimented Starlight. She already had her sights set on the other door when a large brown box appeared a few feet above the ground, landing with a thud. Trixie vaulted the table and rushed over to it.

“That’s rare,” she said, flipping it open. “What do we have here?” From the chest bounced a couple of silver shells, both of which made their way within Trixie. Nobody knows just how the currency within the Gungeon works, but then again, nobody was quite sure how the Gungeon’s anything worked.

The other rooms were similar to the first. There were enemies to be shot, tables to be flipped and chests to be opened. After exploring a good bit of the first floor, the four came to an imposing door shaped like a skull that looked as if it was made of gold. Its eyes were vacant and dark until they stepped closer. It caught fire and blazed bright purple.

“What do you think we’ve got?” asked Sunset, approaching the door. It pulled itself upwards, revealing the darkness beyond it. “Maybe it’s the Chain-ge Gunner.” Trixie put her hands to the side of her face and open her mouth dramatically.

“Not the Chaaaaain-G Gunner” she said. Sunset rolled her eyes and walked into the room. The other three followed suit. The walkway was long and thin, only allowing for one of them to go at a time. After reaching a large center rectangle of a platform, the room lit up with flames all around, bathing the room in light.

They were standing in a chamber on a platform surrounded by a void on all sides. The thin walkway they came in on fell into nothingness and left them stranded there. Almost immediately afterward, the screech of a monster rang from above, accompanied by a large creature. It was black, with holes in its skin the size of basketballs. It was beating its large greenish wings like a beetle, and in its hands was a humongous chain gun.

“Oh my god,” said Trixie, her smile dropping. “It actually was the Chain-ge Gunner.” Above it, the name “Chrysalis the Chain-ge Gunner” popped up, and everyone got their weapons ready.

“At least you got your wish,” said Starlight, looking towards Sunset.

“Yeah,” said Sunset. She cocked her pump action shotgun and pointed its barrel at the flying abomination. “Fan-freaking-tastic.”

“Split up and divert its shots!” Luna said, running to a corner of the stage. Seeing the movement as well as the bullets Luna began unloading into it, the Chain-ge Gunner started firing into the arena from above. They all followed Luna’ decision, watching as the Chain-ge Gunner stopped to pick a target. Meanwhile, all four of the girls were unloading into it, causing major damage to its body.

Finally, with a roar, it decided it was done being a bullet sponge. It zipped to the edge of the platforms and flew around in an oval pattern faster then anyone there could really track. Any and all attempts to shoot it didn’t seem to affect it. After a few seconds, it shot out four green balls about the size of a head. The four managed to shoot down three, but the last one landed on the platform. It exploded into a small turret, shooting pink, slow-moving balls of energy.

“Don’t let those hit you!” yelled Trixie. She didn’t need to say anything, but shouting and being generally useless seemed to be her schtick.

Starlight dodge rolled over the bullets before unloading a full clip into the small turret the Chain-ge Gunner had laid down. When it exploded, it broke into another wave of those pink balls.

“Starlight?” called Sunset. When the two made eye contact, Sunset nodded her head. “Do the thing.” Starlight smirked slightly, reaching behind her to her belt. She grabbed a glass bottle with her hand and tossed it into the monster. When the two collided, the monster screeched again, flying erratically as it tried to get the fire off of it. The four loaded bullets into the Chain-ge Gunner, but it started shooting erratically all over the platform. Everyone found a bullet in them somewhere. It flew high up again, disappearing into the darkness.

“Ugh,” said Trixie, lowering her gun for a second. “I hate when they fly.”

“But you’re a trick shot,” said Luna. “Isn’t this easy for you?” Trixie scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I used to be a trick shot,” said Trixie annoyedly. “I don’t know about you, but a Gungeoneer is basically a full-fledged job. My skills might have rusted over time.”

In the span of their conversation, the Chain-ge Gunner had time to get into its wits about it. It was no longer a holey, chain gun-toting abomination. It was three holey, chain gun-toting abominations. Everyone gathered their weapons up again, save for Trixie who groaned in agony.

The act was mostly the same, but with more bullets to watch out for. In her own mindset, Starlight unloaded clip after clip into the monsters without worrying about how much damage she was actually doing. She shot a final bullet into the skull of one and caused it to fall into the void. A wicked smile was painting the corners of her mouth as she continued firing. Soon, all the other bullets in the room seemed to be unable to keep up with hers, as she tapped the trigger quicker than she felt she ever had. She was about to jump into the void after the second body as it fell but caught herself. Sunset ran up to her and pulled her back from a volley of shots that came from the chain gun.

“Don’t go Rambo on me,” she said, launching a few shots of her own. “I’m not going through the next four floors a man down.”

“Yeah. Sorry.” Sunset reloaded her shotgun before running back into the fight. Before Starlight could even join, the boss let out a screech and flew up into the sky. This time, it didn’t leave into the darkness. It crashed into the middle of the arena, blanketing it in a thick smoke. Starlight stumbled to her feet, trying to see through to her teammates, but couldn’t see far. “Hey, Sunset? Trixie, Luna?”

“They can’t hear you from here.” The scene changed from a smoky arena to a clear sky at daytime. All around her was ruined buildings, cracked asphalt, and general dilapidation. Starlight looked at who started talking. A little girl smiled back at her, eerily happy for the destruction around her. Starlight frowned and glared at the girl.

“Where are we?” she asked. “Are we still in the Gungeon?” The girl giggled again.

“It’s sad that you don’t remember,” she said, walking over to Starlight. Her clothes basically consisted of a sheet. She wasn’t wearing any shoes, her skin was pale, and her face was dirty, just like her hair. But her ethereal appearance made it seem like she was an angel. Starlight must have looked at her funny because the little girl laughed at her. “But I won’t tell you. Not yet. If you manage to win, then maybe.”

“Who are you?” asked Starlight. It was hopeless, though, since the ghost of a girl had disappeared into the mist before she even finished her sentence The scene was replaced by the arena again. The other three were still fighting and looked much worse than they did in the beginning, but at least the smoke was clearing.

“Good to see you finally decided to join us,” said Sunset, panting heavily and grabbing her knees. The Chain-ge Gunner was flying around above her and the others, seeming to pause to reload. Starlight looked at her fatigued teammates and then back to the Chain-ge Gunner.

Full of vigor, Starlight jumped forward, knelt down, then shot a few bullets into the Chain-ge Gunner. The bullets piercing its skin seemed to be a novelty trick since it seemed to shrug and roll its eyes. It pointed its gun at her and out of its barrel, it shot out six slow-moving balls of energy, which Trixie peppered with shots. She destroyed most of them. When Starlight looked over, she gave a reassuring thumbs-up.

Luna’s laser pistol started ripping through the air, it’s blue streaks searing into the flesh of the Chain-ge Gunner. It looked like it was getting pretty tired of the four trying their hardest to persist against it. It had had enough.

But the four weren’t done. As if everyone was in sync, without a word spoken between them, they started firing on the boss with all they had. Somewhere along the line, the boss’ health decided to stop resisting, and give up. The Chain-ge Gunner was surprised at its lack of health and promptly decided to keel over, sending its body spiraling into the pit. There was an awkward silence, as the boss’ body hit the ground, causing an explosion of Hegemony Credits, shells and a few items here and there. Starlight managed to nab a gun called “The Dub”.

“Woo!” said Trixie, stretching extravagantly. “That was fun! Let’s never do it again.”

“Agreed,” said Luna. Starlight was off to herself, ignoring most of the rest of the post-boss chatter her teammates engaged in. She frowned at how the small girl picked at her head and made her draw a blank. She didn’t like being down a piece in a chess game.

“Yo,” said Sunset, tapping Starlight on the shoulder. She pointed towards the edge of the arena where a path led to a door. The other two were waiting. “You coming or nah?”

“Yeah, I just… needed time to get myself together.” she placed the gun in her hand near her jeans and let it dissipate into the small machine on her thigh. She’d be able to get it later. “Let’s hit this second floor good, hm?”

“Yep,” said Sunset with a small smile. The two jogged over to the elevator room and watched as a bullet shaped elevator dropped down from the ceiling, broke through the floor, and opened expectantly. The four looked at each other before entering the elevator and letting it close.

Starlight felt that this run would be something special.

“It sucked!” Sunset took a swig of whiskey. The other three all looked at her as she ranted. “It was that stupid gun’s fault.”

“The Dub?” asked Starlight, knifing apart a piece of meat from the slab. She picked it up with her fork and started to chew. “I didn’t see anything wrong with it.”

“How could you not!?” she yelled. Starlight sighed and took off another piece of meat. Luna didn’t seem like she was paying much attention, and decided to put her head down on the table. Starlight wished she could withdraw from this conversation like she successfully did.

“Don’t worry,” said Trixie, silently sipping her water. “It won’t be too difficult to get back there. If we don't have to face that boss again, that is.”

“You don’t understand,” said Sunset, forcing her face to basically meet Trixie’s. Starlight could almost feel the uncomfort emanating from Trixie, and somewhere deep inside of her. She felt bad. Not really, though. “It was what it was saying.”

“I do admit,” said Trixie. “Saying ‘dub’ over and over after each shot did get a little tedious.”

“But it was a good gun,” said Starlight.

“It was freaking annoying!”

“But it was a good gun,” repeated Starlight.

“Good to see my patrons are up and at em.” The voice came from behind the counter, where a woman with amazingly tricolored hair, and a pair of light purple eyes walked over and joined their conversation. She placed her hands on the counter and laced her fingers together. Her smile was contagious and made Starlight beam quite a bit. “How’s it going, Glim?”

“Honestly?” said Glimmer, pushing her plate around. “Terrible. This steak is good, though.”

“Don’t lie to Shining like that.” Cadence looked behind her where a large robot was moving about the kitchen, cooking.

“It is good, though,” said Starlight, pulling her plate back and taking a bite to emphasize her point. She chewed slowly as Cadence chuckled.

“How’s it going in the Gungeon?”

“Hey, Trixie,” said Sunset, still groggy from all the liquor. “Let’s get drunk. So drunk we can’t even see anymore.”

“I don’t… drink much.” She sipped her water. “But you do you.”

“It’s going,” said Starlight laughing a bit. “How is the business here in the Breach?”

“Well, running the only tavern in the entire Breach does come with its upsides,” said Cadence. “Like all the customers. But the lack of money is kinda weird. But, I mean, what can you really do?”

The two continued chatting, laughing, and drinking. Sunset and Trixie continued their banter. And Luna continued to think. All the while, the Gungeon was still alive, still breathing. And hundreds upon hundreds of people stumbled into their doom. It made no difference to it.

As long as it had it’s fun, the Gungeon would live on.

Author's Note

I couldn't believe that there was no Enter The Gungeon fanfic on the site already. S-So I dropped everything and did this...

The Show Goes On

If there's anything Trixie hated being called, it was selfish. How could a being as amazingly great as she be selfish? In fact, just living and allowing the other three members of her team to breathe the same air as her must've been a godsend.

“How is it fair that you attract the most money but do the least amount of work?” Sunset was… a complication to Trixie. She wasn't a necessary cog in her perfect machine of a team.

“Well maybe if you were smart with money, the Gungeon would look favorably upon you as well.” Trixie retrieved a golden coin from her pocket and started flipping it around in her hands. “What do you have, Sunset Dimmer?”

“Wait, what?” asked Sunset. “What did you say?”

“Sunset Dimmer, Dimmer,” she repeated. “Honestly, if your hearing is half as bad as your skill with money, I don't know why money isn't running from you.”

“I would be upset, but that's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.”

“Alright you two,” said Starlight, walking up the middle, carrying a new gun. “The floor is almost done. Stop trying to kill each other and kill the Gundead.”

“Found the shop!” called Luna from across the room, where she was sticking her head into the doorway of another door. Whatever Trixie thought she was doing at the moment was dropped to rush over to the store. She basically barreled past Luna and entered one of the only docile places the Gungeon had to offer. Trixie moved about the place as if it were her own home.

“Oh. It’s you four.” The Shopkeeper was always the same, on every floor without fail. “I look forward to your business.”

“Okay Discord,” said Trixie, waving an item in his face. It looked like a belt with large pockets to hold things. “How much for the junk, hm? How about 20 shells?”

“Spare me the antics,” said Discord, a smile forming on his face. “That utility belt is worth north of 50 shells. And seeing as though you’re trying to haggle me, I’m inclined to raise the price to 75.”

“Dissy, can I can you Dissy?” asked Trixie, leaning on the table and giving Discord her best smile. “I know that you know that we all know that you’ll eventually sell me the belt for, like, 20 shells. Let’s cut to the chase.”

“75 shells,” said Discord in his slithery voice. “No ifs, and's, or buts about it.”

“Let me see what I can do.” Trixie turned away from the counter and faced the rest of her teammates. “Uh, guys?”

“No,” grinded said Starlight.

“No,” said Luna.

“Hell no,” said Sunset, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Just this once?” she asked, folding her hands. “Please? I won’t ask for anything more ever!”

“Can we even share money in this place?” asked Sunset. “And if I could, I’d burn it over giving it to you.”

“Sorry, kid,” said Starlight, heading out of the door. “Guess you’ll have to get lucky on the boss.” The four left the store, Trixie wearing a dejected look on her face. When the door closed fully, however, Trixie started beaming.

“Why are you so happy?” Trixie lifted her shirt slightly to show off her new utility belt. She pulled it back down quickly like showing it for too long would somehow reveal her theft. Above her head, a purple skull appeared just to disappear a few seconds later.

“You stole the belt?” said Sunset, raising her eyebrow. Trixie’s triumphant smile dropped.

“Yes, Sunset Dimmer, I stole the belt. I didn’t know simple actions were that much of a struggle to you.” ground her teeth. “Now if we could make our way to the boss room? I want to try out my new equipment!

“Wow, what a dick,” mumbled Sunset as the other three followed after her.

After a few minutes, the group met up at the first-floor boss door. Luna was the first to move on it, causing it to lift it’s head up. The four stepped into the darkness.

“Got any wishes this time around?” asked Starlight, looking back at Sunset. She scoffed.

“Only for a quick and easy boss fight.” The four continued walking into the darkness, until eventually it surrounded them. The door, which was quite a considerable distance away from them now was slowly closing, removing the only source of light.

“It is taking quite a bit of time to start...” said Luna. She took out her gun, which glowed a slight blue. “It’s making me uneasy. Stay on your toes.”

The rest of them withdrew their firearms. The room remained quiet and silent until, finally, a single focused beam of light fired down onto the arena.

“Hey, all.” It was a tall man with greenish skin, no face, and a black suit. The man allowed his name to pop up, letter by letter above his head.

“Anonymous the Re-Gun-Structor,” said Trixie aloud. “What the hell? Is the Gungeon running out of clever names, or something?”

“Well, to be honest, Chain-ge Gunner wasn’t all that impressive anyway,” said Starlight. Anonymous’ health bar popped up. “Let’s just take him down already.”

“That’s fine,” said Anonymous, shaking his head. “I get it. You’re all looking for the gun, and I’m an obstacle. Go on, then. Take your best shot.”

“Hmm.” Trixie shot Anonymous right in the head, taking a quarter of his life points away. “Wow. Was I always this great and powerful?”

“You really got me,” said Anonymous, recovering from the shot. “This should be easy for somebody like you, then?”

“Exactly. And I will be relishing in the shells and items you give me,” she said, taking aim once more. She pulled the trigger and let the bang ring through the arena.

“Wow,” said Anon, brushing off his shoulder. “I can’t believe you missed your shot on a stationary target. That is sad.”

“Be quiet! I-I meant to do that.” She loaded a few more bullets into him, all of which were seemingly less effective than the last. Anon chuckled at the futility of her attacks. “If I had help, it would be much easier!”

“What about those three?” he asked, poking a finger at them. “They’re probably just as dumb as you are, though. I didn’t know Tweedle Dum ran with The Three Stooges now.”

“You weren’t funny the first time,” said Sunset, cocking her shotgun and firing at Anon. “And you aren’t funny now, are ya?”

“Not feeling the jokes, huh?” said Anon, brushing off the bullets. “ It’s kinda like how I’m not feeling these bullets. I’m pretty sure that you’re definitely supposed to have a higher chance of hitting your target if you’re up close and personal with a shotgun. Much better chances than with a revolver.”

“He’s… invincible?” mumbled Luna. “Would the Gungeon ever make an unbeatable boss?”

“No, I certainly have a weakness,” said Anon. “I just have really low hopes that you four will figure it out. Only one person has ever figured it out, anyway. So I’ll offer you two options.” Aside from Anon rose a fire pit. “Either stay here and shoot futilely, or jump in there, die, and hope we don’t meet again.”

The four studied the pit, clearly seeing the fire that rose from its depths. Anon motioned towards it, showing it off like a new car.

“Anyone want to step up? Don’t be shy.” Trixie stepped forward towards the pit, gun lowered, and took a deep breath. “Oh. You sure do give up easy. Tell whatever's down there I said hi.”

“No.” Trixie cocked her gun back and pulled the trigger at Anon’s head.

“You couldn’t have expected that to work. There’s no way.” The black landscape warped and in its place was a large scrapheap, full of metal pieces. The four backed away from Anonymous and readied their guns once more. Anon motioned around him. “But even I admit that I have a soft spot for reckless bravery.”

“Well, at least we got the boss to start…” said Starlight.

“Shooting me isn’t going to work,” said Anon. He reached his hands out and attracted metal to his hands. Once it got to him, it was a simple flick of the wrist before a large blaster appeared. Trixie backed up into her team. “But shooting you should do just fine.” He spun around and sent out a volley of shots. The four tried their best to dodge them.

“What do we do?” asked Trixie. “He doesn’t take damage from our attacks.”

“There must be some way of beating this boss…” said Luna, grinding her teeth as Anon sent out another wave of bullets. “Trixie! Try shooting him in the head again!”

“That won’t work,” said Trixie.

“Well, I’m not seeing any other solutions!” yelled Sunset, pulling out her shotgun and popping off a few shots.

“This isn’t even fun.” He grabbed some more metal into his hands and flung them around the arena, creating small turrets. They went about their business pretty quickly, shooting almost nonstop at the four. “A little bit of this, a little bit of that.” He sent more and more turrets out, covering most of the arena. Anon clasped his hands together and brought them all together in a mash-up of metal until they exploded into ricocheting bullets. Everyone but Trixie was fast enough to hit the ground. A bullet sailed into her side.

“Son of a bitch!” she yelled.

“Somebody’s upset.” Anon shook his head. “Call it repayment for shooting me in the head.” Trixie ran up to Anon and launched a punch at him. He was smart enough to dodge, but didn’t have enough sense to expect a follow up. Trixie kicked him in his leg as hard as she could, bringing him to his knees and his health bar down to half. Anon tackled her legs and pointed his gun at her stomach again. Sunset took this opportunity to run up and punt kick Anon in the face. This time, however, it didn’t do damage.

“What the hell!?” asked Sunset. “How come when we do damage, nothing happens!?” All the while, Sunset was kicking Anon in the head, futilely trying to get him off of Trixie.

“Listen,” said Anon, a grimace on his face. “It wasn’t funny the first time. It won’t be funny the next time. Stop trying it.” Trixie wriggled herself from under Anon and loaded a few more bullets into him. He shook them off just like he did the last ones.

“Get out of there!” called Starlight. “Regroup back here!” Sunset took off, but Trixie stayed put. She grabbed her gun and pointed it at Anon.

“Why don’t you people ever learn,” said Anon. “That. Will. Not. Work.” Anon got to his feet, and Trixie’s gun followed him. “You are such an idiot. I can’t believe—”

Trixie grabbed the gun by its nose and smacked Anon in the side with it. He grabbed his side gingerly and backed up quite a bit.

“No one calls the Great and Powerful Trixie and idiot.” The four watched as his health bar dwindled down to a quarter. Anon looked at her with a fire in his eyes. She started backing up with her team. “Especially not to my face.”

“Did you figure it out?” asked Anon, smiling from ear to ear. He stomped and created a chasm behind Trixie, preventing her from regrouping.“This might actually be a worthwhile fight after all.” Anon dug his hands into the ground and caused two much bigger hands to form behind him. He made finger guns and started shooting big globs of metal at her.

“Run!” yelled Starlight. And she did. Trixie ran, dodging the pieces of metal moving at incredible speeds. She ducked and fell onto a pile of metal, cutting into her arm.

“Damn it!” she yelled, grabbing her arm to stop the pain. It didn’t. “Just keep going…” She stood up and clenched her fist, her anger drowning out the pain. She ran towards the crouching Anon, picked a metal piece and flung it at him.

“Oh!” He looked up, flipped the metal around, crafted a spike, and sent it at Trixie. She took out her gun, popping the metal spike out of the air. “Nice, nice.” Once she got just close enough. Anon covered his body in a metal ball.

“Oh, come on,” said Sunset from above. “Are you that much of a coward?”

“Cowards always win, though,” said Anon.

“Stay out of this, Dimmer!” yelled Trixie, looking back up to the three. Anon took this chance to use the large hands he had control of and grasp Trixie around the sides and lift her into the air.

“You had so much potential.” He tossed her up into the air. He removed himself from his ball, waving his hand in a large circular motion, picking up a significant portion of metal. “But I’ve got to finish you off. I’ve got a tea time to make, you know?” He lifted both hands above his head and shaped the metal into a giant drill fit to pierce the heavens. Once he brought his hands down, the metal was sent spiraling at Trixie.

If she wanted to survive this, she’d have to do more than shoot.

Still, in midair, she faced off against the giant drill and studied it carefully. As if her life was about to flash before her eyes, the world slowed and allowed her to act as she wanted. She flipped herself around, letting the drill pass above her, When she looked back down at Anon, he was beaming. She took out her gun, looked right into Anon’s eye, and shot him right in it.

Anon blinked.

Anon rubbed his eyes just for a second, shook his head and looking down at the ground, he took more metal in his hand.

“That. Didn’t. Hurt—” Trixie landed with a thud right in front of him, a sharp piece of metal in hand. Perfect for stabbing holes in the stomachs of smug assholes. “But… that might.”

“Silly Anon,” said Trixie, letting go of the spike. “The show never ends when I’m on stage.”

Anon fell to the ground and sunk into the metal. His health fell to zero and a podium fell to the ground. On top of it was a small silver bell. When Trixie picked up, it popped up as the “Aged Bell”.

“Hey.” Trixie turned around to her team. Starlight and Luna were smirking and Sunset grinning slightly. Sunset stepped forward. “What was the thing you figured out?” Trixie, smiled wide.

“It’s not that hard to figure out,” said Trixie, shrugging. “You have something up there, right? You can do it.” Trixie walked out of the boss door, and back into the Gungeon. “Now, with this, I have some some business to take care of.”

“Sunset, calm down.”

“She ruined the run!” yelled Sunset, literally trying to climb over Starlight’s shoulder to get to Trixie. The four stood outside of a door on the second floor. It was obviously a shop door, but it was locked. A picture of Discord’s face was hastily drawn on a piece of paper and taped to the door. Under it, it said, “Boo Hoo Hoo”.

“How did I know he would react like that?” asked Trixie, hands up in surrender. “I thought he was joking.”

“Why did you try to steal twice?!” asked Sunset. You already had what you wanted!”

“But… the RUBE-ADYNE looked so nice…” Sunset tried to jump over even more. Luna sighed and headed off to the next room. “Okay, fine. Maybe I messed up. But hey, at least I know I’m not thatbad.”

A red bullet soared past Trixie’s head and implanted itself into the wall. Sunset dropped from Starlight and hid behind a table. Trixie laughed nervously for a few moments before taking cover.

“You spawned in cursed bullets.” Luna took cover behind a table. “They do more damage now.”

“Well…”Trixie took out her gun and readied it. “It can’t be that bad, can it?”

“Oh it can,” said Starlight. “You’re paying for drinks tonight.”

“B-But…” Trixie stuttered. “But it’s free.” Starlight laughed.

“I know what I said,” said Starlight. “Okay, everybody. Three, two…”

They four ran into the danger, guns readied and wills signed.

“This chick is just like you, you know?” Anon was walking around the lava covered floor of the bottom of the Gungeon. “Well, maybe not that much like you. She seemed kinda stupid at first. But she beat me. Can you believe it?” Anon sat down and sighed. “I think she’ll be down here soon enough. If she could get her head out of her ass.” Anon looked over at the one he was talking to.

“Oh really?” She smiled, brought her hammer over her head and slammed it down with a loud thud. “I can’t wait.”