The EK

Chapters

The Soldiers of the Old Home Guard
A Post-Haste Changeling
Mayday Madness
The Case of the Tin Soldiers
Fixing a Hole
A Dreadful Change
Trottingham Treason and Plot
"Charming"
Buttons, Branded and Bravery
Don't Forget the Diver
Move Along the Bus Please
A Historical Horror Package
Changeling the Music
A Musical Passing for a Miserable Musty Scott
Changeling the Heights
An Exile and Avalanche
Mare's Army
Robot Rumpus
The Best Night Ever 3.0
An Actual Peaceful Wedding
The Ambling Suit of Armour
Deep Below Canterlot
Round and Round Went the Big Wheel
How to Miss an Art Show
Fallen Idol, Rising Spirit
The Mystery Tour
My Brother and I at the Wedding
The Barometer
Necropolis Now
The Two and a Half Feathers
Chosen Apples and Screaming Pearly Lords
The Great Flag Battle
The Arcane Archchancellor Affair
Post-Mare Fluttershy
Come in. Your Time is Up.
An Audience With Screaming Lord Sutch
The Faith Chasing Changeling
More than a Royal Chariot
Big Guns
The First of Many Changes
How Long is a Piece of String?
Birthdays, Unbelievable News, Paper Chases and New Arrivals
A Foul Phenomenon

The Soldiers of the Old Home Guard

Flash read the letter with some annoyance.

Twilight walked up to him “Flash what’s the matter?”

“It’s this letter.” He showed it to her, signed by the current Captain of the Guard for the Day Guard of Princess Celestia, a Unicorn named Gift Thicket “It seems there’s very few guards spare to form an Everfree Guard.”

“Well, I don’t really want the Castle filled with guards I do like a quiet place, and,” she blushed and smiled “I don’t really mind just having you here.”

Flash nodded and smiled himself “I know Twilight, it’s just, I’m the Captain of the Everfree Guard.” He proudly said tapping the chest plate of his armour, with its new purple tree symbol, then he faltered “But there’s no actually guard.”

Captain of the Guard is not associated with the rank of Captain. But since the E.U.P Guard is the oldest and most important section of the Equestrian Military the Captain of the Guard, whatever rank he or she is, outranks all others, Wonderbolt or Royal Navy. In Shining Armour’s case, as the highest-ranking officer of the Crystal Guard, and a Prince, he would be a Field Marshal, sometime referred to as a General of the Army. The Captains of the Day and Night Guard are ranked as ordinary generals. Flash didn’t really know what rank he would fall under just yet, so he simply settled for Captain.

A knock came for the door. Spike opened it up and First Base walked in “Hey Flash I’ve got some news for you.”

“What Sport?”

“Major Fields been asking around for volunteers.”

Twilight frowned her eyebrows and turned to Flash “Major Fields?”

“Late of Her Majesty’s Fifth Regiment of Hoof.”, she still looked at him confused Flash sighed “Retired Earth Pony Guard. He’s got a private estate on the other side of the big hill beyond Sweet Apple Arches,”, Twilight nodded understanding. Flash then turned to this little brother “What’s the Major want volunteers for?”

“He’s forming a temporary guard for Ponyville. The Home Guard he’s calling it.”

“Home Guard?”

Before First Base could respond singing could be heard along the streets.

“Call out the Navy…Call out the rank…Call out the Wonderbolts…Get off your flanks…”

Twilight, Flash, Spike and First Base existed the Castle and looked up the street.

A group of roughly sixteen equines matching towards them. Five lines of three.

At the front marched several older ponies, probably from the retirement village. Leading them a tall but aged Earth Pony stallion with a brushy white moustache and dressed in a military tunic and peaked cap with a short stick held under his right foreleg.

To the side of the ranks marched a middle-aged Unicorn stallion dressed in a tailcoat, an armband with sergeant stripes on his sleeve.

Included within the ranks marched Doctor Time Turner, Ponyville’s resident timekeeper and inventor. Rarity’s neighbour Caramel, a rather forgetful pony, but his bumbling does help him as a rodeo clown. Along with him his Pegasus housemate Lucky Clover. And most surprising to Twilight a female Zebra, Zecora, normally she lives in her hut within the Everfree Forest where she brews herbal medicines. To see her in town, a rare sight indeed. She seemed to be enjoying the rhythming as the group marched.

“From the cliff of Hoover call up the gulls…And don’t forgot to loyal territorials…But who’s digging in here? Who will defend…Every inch of Everfree no matter what they send? Who’s standing firm in our own front yard? The Soldiers of the Old Home Guard, that’s who! The Soldiers of the Old Home Guard.”

The older ponies at the front started sing by themselves “For we wrote the stories of the old brigades…We know the glory of yesterday’s parades!” The every-pony re -joined the chorus “Who’s standing firm in our own front yard? The Soldiers of the Old Home Guard, that’s who! The Soldiers of the Old Home Guard.”

As they approached the amazed Princess and her Guard-pony the Sergeant called out “Platoon halt!”, the group took two step forward then stopped. The leader continued to march up to Twilight and Flash, he halted before them and saluted “Major Green Fields reporting. I anticipated the shortage of good Guard-ponies so myself and some colleagues of mine took the liberty of assembling this group to fill in.”

Flash saluted back and spoke “It was good of you to have the initiative sir,” he looked at some of the assembled “Aren’t a good few of these ponies, too old or inexperienced?”

“They’re willing to keep the peace sir, I like keenness in soldiers. With the Princess and her Council, we can be sure of the largest threats being dealt with, think of us more as a police force. And don’t worry about training, myself and my colleagues will get them in order. Care to inspect them sir?”

Flash looked at them and an unsure expression crossed his lips “Not today, when their more, presentable.”

“Yes sir.” The Major turned around and called to the Sergeant “You can dismiss the parade Sergeant.”, the Sergeant saluted and turned to the platoon “Platoon. Officer on Parade, dismissed!”, the group saluted Major and Flash before turning slightly, marching a few passes before filling off in different directions

Twilight walked up to the Zebra “Zecora? What are you doing on this Home Guard?”

“When the Major came asking the call, I offered my remedies to one and all.”

“So, you’re their First Aid advisor?”, the Zebra nodded.

The Sergeant walked up to the Major “We should be returning to Kimblewick Hall sir.”

“Very well Porter.” He looked back to Flash and Twilight “My Steward Sergeant Porter, acts as my butler.” He leaned in a whisper “Decent sergeant, dash good butler.” He then stepped back “Don’t worry about arranging meeting, we’re having them held at my estate in the evenings and on the weekends, unless members have prior engagements of course.”

Twilight’s eyes widened “That seems a bit far out of town for a headquarters.”

The Major held up his hoof “On the contrary your Highness, it’s on one of the main cart roads into the village, very strategic point for any possible invasion. And secondly my estate is very large so we can do many types of training.”

Flash narrowed his eyebrow “It sounds to me as if your taking command.”

The Major frowned his eyebrow “Well naturally. I formed this unit, it seems only right I should command it.”

“But I’m Captain of the Guard here.” Flash pointed out. The Major held up a hoof “Don’t worry we’ll report to you when necessary, and of course if you need us for anything just come down to our headquarters.” And the Major and Porter left before Flash could respond.

Flash snorted angrily, Twilight took his hoof “It’s okay Flash. There only temporary. Maybe we should see which guards are available?”

“Yeah, the sooner we form an actual Everfree Guard the better.”

Twilight nodded “We’ve also got some papers to go through.” And the two walked back into the Castle. She then asked, “What’s Steward?”

“A solider assigned to an officer as a personal servant. I guess Porter followed the Major when he left the Fifth Hoof.”

In the stables hall of Kimblewick Hall. The platoon of the Everfree Home Guard stood in two lines.

Porter called out the order “Platoon attention!”, the betting of hooves sounded. Followed by one late step.

The Major grimaced “Try to keep up Cold Steel.”, one of the older solider stallion nodded.

The Major then spoke to the ponies on the front row “Section One, here are the patrol rosters for this evening. Vigil and Caramel,” a grim-faced Bat Pony mare in an old suit and top hat looked to the Major as well as Caramel “You two patrol the riverbank.”

The two nodded. The Major called out again “Mr Waddle,” an elderly Earth Pony with a light grey coat, a dark grey combed-over mane of several strands of hair, large, thick-rimmed round glasses, a large bowtie, liver spots, and a cutie mark of a bubble pipe looked up.

The Major continued “You shall patrol the edge of the Everfree Forest.”

“Sorry, could you repeat that sir?”

“The Everfree Forest, I want you to patrol the edge of it.”, Waddle gulped but nodded. The Major looked to Lucky Clover “Clover, you patrol starts from the park to the town clock.”, Lucky narrowed his eyes “Permission to ask something privately sir?”, the Major nodded and Lucky walked up to him and whispered something. The Major shook his head “Mr Clover you have to do your duty. Princess Twilight and Captain Sentry are counting on us.”

Lucky grimaced and walked back to the ranks muttering something.

“Silence in the ranks.” The Major ordered “Now where was I? Oh yes, Miller, Post.”

A blue Earth Pony with a bag of flour and an egg cutie mark, wearing a black conical hat over his short blond mane and a red necktie around his neck stood to attention, Windy Miller, not only a miller but a hen farmer.

Parcel Post, a lanky light brown Earth Pony stallion stood next to Windy. He used to handle the letters of Ponyville, which somehow included the occasional letters for the Spirit of Chaos, after his unfortunate tangle within Discord’s dimension he quit the postal service and focused on his hobby of beekeeping.

Since then the Post Mistress, Muffins, acted as Post-mare and made a bit of a mess, getting ponies and addresses mix-up, not using the doors, Twilight and Starlight still talked about when she flew in through the window of the castle. Recently post seem to double, giving the mother of three foals a bit of a hard time.

The Major continued “You two patrol your side of the town. As for myself and Porter we will portal from here at the hall to Sweet Apple Arches. Every-pony else you can return to your homes, but keep your eyes peeled, this unit is also starting a neighbourhood watch.”, they all nodded.

Porter spoke “Now, if any-pony approaches you shout ‘Halt, who goes there?’ And you take down their credentials.”

Waddle raised his hoof “It might be a little bit awkward if I patrol the forest Major Fields, you see there are no conveniences there.”, Lucky looked at the older stallion “No. But there are plenty of trees there.”, Waddle shook his head “I don’t like that sort of things, and what if some nasty creature were to attack me?”

“I’ll tell you what.” Lucky said, “If you feel like you have to go, you just recite a little poem to yourself and it’ll take your mind off it.”, Waddle nodded “That’s a good idea yes.”

The Major nodded and looked to Porter, the butler turned to the platoon “Platoon, Patrol, to your posts, dismissed!”

As the group of ponies filed off Lucky trotted up to Caramel “Listen Caramel, can you do me a favour?”

“What do you mean Lucky?”, Lucky grinned put his wing over Caramel.

The orange Earth Pony stood outside a house near to the clock tower. He sighed.

Lucky opened a window from the house and called down “You all clear down there?”

Caramel frowned his eyebrows “You going to long Lucky? I’ve got my own duty to go to, you know how mad Miss Vigil can get.”

“Yeah but it’s like a told you my Mother, she’s very ill.”, form the room came the voice of a young mare “Come on Lucky.”, Lucky eyes shifted and said, “That’s her now.”

Caramel raised an eyebrow “She doesn’t sound ill to me, and she sounds bit young to be your mother.”

“Lucky?”

“Coming dear.” Lucky said quickly and shut the window.

Caramel turned away annoyed ‘Luna, he’s almost as bad a Thunderlane.’, another Pegasus, who seemed to constantly swap mare-friends. The Major did consider asking him to join but with Thunder being a Wonderbolt he declined to do so.

Thinking about mare-friends brought Sassaflash to the forefront of his mind, he smiled, the thoughts of here allowed him to keep going through the night.

Meanwhile Windy Miller walked up and down the main street from his family mill to the town centre. He heard hoof-steps. He turned to the source and shouted “Halt! Who goes there? Friend or foe?”

“Friend.” The voice of a stallion called. Windy followed his instructions “Advance to be recognised.”, a lanky Earth Pony walked up. Windy loosen up slightly but still asked “Can I see some identification?”

“Yes.” The stallion reach into his apron pocket and pull out his wallet he showed a card within it to Windy, he narrowed his eye “I can’t see in this light. You got touch?”

“No, but I’ve got a match.” The stallion put his wallet back in his pocket before he pulled out a box and gave them to Windy. Windy put stuck a match and waited as the stallion pulled the wallet out again and showed the card. He nodded “Just checking.”, he then dropped the match it burnt his hoof, he shook his hoof about.

“Think nothing of it.” The stallion said walking along.

Windy called “Hey Carrot! I’ve come around with the flour and the eggs in the morning, alright?”

“Okay!” Carrot Cake, of Sugarcube Corner called back. Windy smiled and went back to his patrol.

Thunder crashed in the Everfree Forest. Just on it edges Mr Waddle stood guard under a tree with an umbrella and with his legs crossed as the rain poured down in bucket loads. ‘The owl and the pussycat went to sea, in a beautiful pea green boat. They took some honey, and plenty of…’ he bit his lip ‘Oh dear.’

Vigil looked over the drenched pony lying on the riverbank. She pulled out a tape measure and begin taking the width and length of the character.

Bat Ponies are a rare and isolated race. They tend to live by themselves in mountain cave, the largest in the Foal Mountains called the Necropolis. The leader of the city is called the Head Mortician, and it is run like a business. From the title alone it is easy to work out the propose, the Bat Ponies there dedicate their lives to the care of the dead. Their job is to dispose of the body, or client as they prefer, in a dignified manner per their last wishes.

The most revered of clients are the Royal Family. The only exception being the Blueblood family, they prefer the services of the best undertakers in Canterlot. For this reason, those who can afford it often call for the services of the Necropolis.

When they learned about of how Princess Luna became jealous of Celestia due to how every-pony in Equestria shunned the night and did not appreciate its beauty, thus turning her in Nightmare Moon, and wishing for eternal night, the Bat Ponies protested, somehow the Princess of the Night forgot a species of pony who live during the night. However, by this point Nightmare Moon was banished to the moon itself and Celestia ruled as monarch.

When Celestia received a message from the then Head Mortician saying if something was not done to acknowledge their existence, the Bat Ponies of the Necropolis would no longer work for the Royal Family. Celestia decided to create the Night Guard, comprising entirely of Bat Ponies.

When Luna returned, she became quite surprised to find her own guard, the Night Guard became her personal guard among their other duties, and on top of this the Bat Ponies named Luna their Princess. The Head Mortician may rule the Necropolis, but now deferred to her, and any Bat Pony not a Necropolitan would refer to her for advice.

Vigil used to be an apprentice, but failed to acquire the necessary skills to remain a citizen of the Necropolis, so she moved to Ponyville. The worst in the Necropolis are the best elsewhere in Equestria. Indeed, the undertakers in Canterlot was founded by a failed apprentice as well. And as per Necropolis tradition she clothed her in garments left behind by the deceased she trained on, usual practice unless the client gave instructions to be interred dressed.

The pony woke up looked up at Vigil screamed and ran off. Vigil shook her head. Due to their bats wings and dark colours it gives them a fearful exterior. Historically ancient Bat Ponies would play at scaring ponies at night. Until they found purpose.

Vigil started walking along the riverbank. She took a breath of the night air and looked at the moon and the star, Princess Luna really knew how to craft a night sky. Then Vigil yawed, trouble with living in Ponyville, it meant long hours, usually for a Bat Pony when the day ended, their night began. She really hated going against her nocturnal instincts, it’s what made her so grumpy in the daytime, and sadly Ponyville did not have much in the way of a nightlife.

A couple of days after, the platoon gathered in a field of the Kimblewick Hall Estate, they stood near a barn.

Before them rested an odd contraption. Six pipes on a set of wheels pointing up. Some form of improvised weapon developed by Doctor Time Turner. Said inventor pushed his way through the small crowd as Major Fields and Porter followed behind “This way Major.” He stopped before the device “Permission to demonstrate my new, patent pending, Firework-firing-anti-aerial-attack-weapon sir?”

The Major looked it over “I think you need to come with a snapper name. But putting that aside carry on Doctor Turner.”

“Thank you, sir.” He moved his hoof about pointing to certain areas “Please kindly not some details, six drainpipes tied together and mounted on a wheeled base for mobility.”

Caramel spoke “Looks like an old pram.”, Lucky Clover nudged him to shut up. Time Turner nodded “Well Muffins needed a new one after little Dipsy was born. I never throw away anything useful.” He then shook himself and spoke again “Now the fireworks munitions use a special powder I developed of the following mixture, two-hundred and thirty grams of weed killer, six-hundred and eighty grams of sugar and a teaspoon of bicarbonate of soda.”

The Major nodded “Show us how it works.”, Time Turner nodded then called out “Chrysalis Changeling overhead. Ready. Fire!”

Cameral trotted up and took from a saddlebag a box of matches, he tried to strike one, but threw it away. Lucky Clover rolled his eyes.

Time Turner stepped up “Come on Cameral, come on.”

“The matches are damp Doc.”, Time Turner walked up “Let me have a go.”, Cameral gave him the box and stood back. Turner struck another match but it didn’t strike, he hummed “I think I’ll have to create a different ignition system.” He turned to the Major “For now do you have a light sir.”, the Major looked to Porter. The butler nodded and charged his horn.

A small flame sparked and burned up the fuse. The base of two pipes smoked and out the spout flew two makeshift projectiles and they rocket high into the air.

Time Turner laughed in excitement. The Major smiled “Excellent Doctor Turner. Excellent, look at that every-pony, straight as a raven’s flight path. I shouldn’t like to be on the receiving end of that.” Then he frowned.

The projectiles started tumbling down.

Every-pony’s eyes widened. Quickly they ran for the shelter of the barn. Cold Steel cried out “Don’t Panic!”

The shot hit the barn.

Dirty and shaken, the able-bodied of the platoon passed buckets of water along a chain. Shouting, splashes, burning and the clatter of buckets filled the air.

Zecora treated those with burns, but already called the hospital.

The Major trudged down the chain. Stopped at Time Turner and poked him with his stick “Just one thing Turner, I don’t think you should have added the bicarbonate of soda.” He walked off leaving an ashamed and confused Doctor Time Turner.

Next morning Twilight and Flash read the report in the Ponyville Express and they both blinked with their mouth hung open.

Spike looked over their shoulders and read it too. He then jumped down and join Starlight at breakfast. The former student of friendship looked to the dragon “What gotten the lovebirds shocked.”, Spike explained and then Starlight blinked. Spike nodded “They’re supposed to protect Ponyville from danger. Trouble is they seem like a danger to themselves.”

Flash shook his head and frowned his eyebrows, he nudged Twilight and she regained composure and looked up at him. Flash spoke “After breakfast we must start looking about ponies to form the guard.” She nodded. As did Spike and Starlight.

The platoon stood on a hill of the estate.

Time Turner, with a large hammer on his back turned to the Major “Permission to demonstrate my One-pony-projectile-proof-attack-vehicle sir?”

This makeshift tank consisted of an upturned bathtub on a wheeled base and a long pipe coming out of the plughole.

The Major narrowed his eyes “Who’s inside it?”

“Lucky Clover sir.”, he walked up and took the hammer in his hoof “I’d like you to obverse how safe it is sir.” He raised the hammer high and slammed into the tub. It rang with a deep off note din. A couple of ponies moved back in shock.

Caramel clasped an ear and leaned into Zecora and whispered, “If it sounds that bad on the outside, what must it be like on the inside?”, Zecora nodded “A terrible echo I fear. We must hope it did not damage Clover’s ears.”

Time Turner chuckled and looked to the Major “There you are sir. Nothing much could get through that.” He then pointed to the pipe “Now I’d like you to notice the periscope coming up through the plughole.”, said periscope having a piece of glass at the end spun around three-hundred and sixty degrees.

The Major nodded “Does it have any weaponary?”, a few ponies back away. Time Turner shook his head “I need to design something to fit in such a small vessel so not yet.”, the platoon sighed in relief.

The Major hummed and looked at the wheels “It doesn’t seem very mobile Doctor Turner.”, Time Turner laughed “Just you watch this sir.” He walked to the back “Stand by Lucky. I’m going to give you a little push.”, and the bathtub rolled only the path, with a slight rattle.

The platoon moved to get a better view of it. It went down the hill and clattered.

The Major’s eyes widened “Quickly every-pony!” and they rushed to the edge of the hill. They heard a splash.

Lucky sat in the bath now upright and floating on a small lake, his wing drenched. The Major shouted down “Quick Clover put the plug in!”

“What was that Major?” Lucky said before he and the bath went under. The Major shook his head “Never mind.” He looked to Time Turner “Get him out will you Turner?”, the doctor nodded and trotted down the hill, quickly followed by Caramel.

In the throne room. Twilight blinked as Applejack explained.

Rarity shook her head “They've been causing trouble all over the village for the past few weeks, Caramel’s forgetfulness, Time Turner’s crazy invention, and that Cold Steel, he’s seem ready to attack any-pony. And now Major Fields is asking if I can make them uniforms. I mean yes, I could try, but he wants something simple and with nothing special to it, so no glamour spell like most Royal Guard armour. Not to mention trying to find a colour that could work with so many different coats, and Zecora’s stripes.” She shuddered, everyone looked at her “Zecora’s a good pony, well, Zebra, but trying to sort something out for her is possible beyond even my talents.”

Flash turned to her “I’ve heard nothing about this. First, they create a potentially lethal weapon, then they almost drown Lucky Clover, and now I hear they want uniforms? Why is it I’m not being reported to?”

Rainbow leaned back “Got to admit some of their goof-up have been pretty funny.”

Fluttershy spoke up “But they’re harming themselves.”

Flash nodded and spoke “Which is why I’ve been looking over the possible though few guards who could form a proper guard.” He gave Twilight to folders “These two might do for starters.”

Twilight looked at the two. One an Earth Pony, with a white coat deep reddish pink mane. The other a Unicorn with a bluish grey coat and blond mane. She narrowed her eyes “Chrome Blade and Dauntless Doo. Why those two?”

At the mention of Chrome Blade Rainbow Dash suddenly sat up, and at the mention of both name Pinkie Pie took a load gasp, the pink pony started bouncing around the room “How do you not know who those two are? Why their…”, Applejack put her hoof to Pinkie’s mouth “Twilight wouldn’t know about them since they became Guards before she came here.”, Pinkie nodded Applejack to her hoof away and Pinkie more calmly spoke “Dauntless Doo is Muffin’s husband and the dad of Dinky, Crackle and Dipsy. And Chrome Blade is Scootaloo’s dad.”

Spike narrowed his eyebrow “I thought Scoots with an orphan.”, Twilight turned to him surprised “She told me her parents were too busy to take care of her.”

“Well,” Rainbow Dash said rubbing the back of her head “it's a little of both, she had a very hard time telling me this, and bet she hasn’t said anything about it to Apple Bloom or Sweetie Belle, but her mom, died in a bad storm, it came over the village from the Everfree Forest.”,

Twilight’s eye widened “So she only has one parent, and he’s a Royal Guard member?”, Rainbow nodded.

Flash tapped his hoof on the files “Both are due to return after a long tour in Saddle Arabia, so I thought we should request their transfer. Three Royal Guard members should be enough to start with.” He glanced at Rarity “But I agree with the Major that I never liked the glamour spells.”, Twilight nodded and turned to Spike “Spike take a letter.”, the dragon nodded and held up a parchment and quill ready for Twilight to speak “Dear Princess Celestia…”

The Major watched the dark clouds forming above the Everfree Forest and some of the smaller clouds heading towards the village.

Porter spoke “We could be looking at an awfully rough storm sir.”

“Yes,” said Vigil “nothing going to flying over the town in that weather.”

Cold Steel spoke next “We should be safe for the next couple of days Major Fields.”

Caramel raised his hoof “Maybe we could have the weekend off sir.”, the Major turned to him “Weekend off? This is defence Caramel, doesn’t just finish five o’clock on Friday evening and start again on nine o’clock on Monday morning you know. Away who’s to say a potential enemy will come be air? For all we know at this very moment some nefarious pony, or villainous creature might be digging a tunnel underneath us.”

Porter chuckled “Really sir that’s absurd.”

Mr Waddle spoke up “As a matter of fact sir I heard a scratching last night. I thought it might be mouse but of course it could have been some-pony tunnelling.”, the Major looked at Waddle with a raised eyebrow and sniffed he looked back to the Forest “Anyway there will be no weekends off. Whenever they come will be ready for them. Spring, summer, autumn or winter, in the sky, on the waters…”

Lucky Clover muttered “Or up between our legs.”, the Major continued “Or up…” he stopped and turned to Lucky, he shook his head and returned to his short speech “Wherever they come, we’ll be ready for them.”

“Permission to speak sir?” Cold Steel asked he looked to the ground “I think I can hear a burrowing sound.”

“Oh, don’t be absurd.”

Lucky blinked, looked down himself and spoke up “No hang on a minute, I, I think I can hear something.”, the Major narrowed his eyes “Perhaps we’d better make sure. Porter put your ear to the ground, see if you can hear anything. I’ll cover you.”, Porter sighed and knelt down.

“Hear anything?”

“I can’t quite make it out sir.”

“What? I can hear something.”, he then got down, then turned to Caramel “Stop shuffling your hooves boy.”

Before long most of the platoon had their ears to the ground. Zecora just watch confused, then she looked around and smiled.

The Major spoke “It sounds like a thumping.”, Cold Steel comment “Perhaps their using pickaxes.”

An orange hoof stepped in front of the Major and some-pony cleared their throat, the Major looked up.

Flash stared down at the Major “Busy down there?”, the Major quickly stood up and called “Platoon attention!”, then group stood up fast. The Major saluted “We didn’t expect you to visit us Captain.”

“Something’s come up, we need the platoon down at the station. Follow me.”, the Major nodded and turned to Porter who gave the order “If you could form up into three ranks please. By the right quick march.”

The platoon followed Flash out of the estate, passed Sweet Apple Arches, into town and to the station where Twilight and the Council of Friendship stood waiting. They halted.

Presently Rainbow Dash arrived along with Scootaloo, and Muffins with her children, and the school teacher Miss Cheerilee who walked up to the Princess “You wanted to see the children Twilight?”

“Yes, I’ve got a surprise for them.”

The whistle of the train blew and they heard Perks call out “Ponyville Station, Ponyville.”

Scootaloo looked to Rainbow confused, but the Wonderbolt smiled to reassure her.

From the platform walked two stallions. Scootaloo’s eye widened at seeing the white Earth Pony, who smiled at her “Hello Scoots.”

“Dad!” she ran to him and hugged his neck, Chrome Blade wrapped a hoof around him “You’ve grown.” She nodded and jumped down “That’s not all Dad, look!” she turned slightly and pointed to the shield on her flank with a wing and lightning bolt “I got my cutie mark!”, Chrome laughed and ruffled her mane “Congrats Scoots,” he sighed “too bad I missed it.”, he looked up to Rainbow Dash “Thanks for supporting my little troublemaker.”

Rainbow sniffed but waved if off “Think nothing of it the Squirt awesome in her own little way.”

Meanwhile Muffins blinked as the bluish grey Unicorn walked up to her, Miss Cheerilee held Dinky and Crackle back, Dinky carried the baby Dipsy on her back. Muffins eyes straightened as best they could and she murmured “Your, your back.”, the Unicorn nodded “And I’m staying. How’ve you been Ditzy?”, upon hearing one of his nickname for her, she smiled and eyes returned to their familiar cross-eyed state, she hugged him with her wings and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Cheerilee wiped a tear from her eyes and nodded to the children, they ran up to him and Dauntless Doo hugged them. He took hold of Dipsy, the filly looked at him quizzically before giving him a big smiled. Muffins smiled “Aw, she knows her daddy.”, Dipsy looked at her mother before looking to Dauntless and uttering “Da, da, Daddy.”, the adults’ eyes widened and Muffins squealed with delight “Her first word!”

Dauntless smile widened “So sweet, so proud,” he rubbed his noise to his daughter’s, he felt tears forming “not going to cry, I’m not going to cry.”

Flash cleared his throat, Chrome and Dauntless look up at the smiling captain. Chrome let Scootaloo go and Muffins took back Dipsy. The two stallions marched up to the Captain, stood to attention and saluted, Flash nodded “Chrome Blade, First Regiment of Hoof.”, Chrome nodded and Flash spoke again “Dauntless Doo, Corps of Royal Magisters.”, Dauntless nodded, Flash continued “By request of Princess Twilight Sparkle and approved by Princess Celestia, you have been transfer to the Everfree Guard, I expect you to protect the peace of Ponyville with honour, valour and distinction.”

“Yes sir.” They replied. Flash nodded “Welcome to the Everfree Guard.”, the three saluted.

Twilight turned to the Major “Well it seems the Home Guard won’t be needed.”

The Major nodded “Maybe I was a little too eager to be in command again. But they're only three. Maybe we can stay on as reservist.”, Twilight turned to Flash, the Captain of the Guard tapped his hoof to his chin and grinned “I think so, but only meet monthly, and I want to be updated regularly.”

The Major nodded and saluted.

Rarity tapped the Major’s shoulder “Does this mean I still need to design a uniform?”, the Major nodded “But I’ll be sure to assist you,” and he looked to Flash “And I’m sure Captain Sentry will have his say.”, Flash nodded but looked to Rarity “We’ll try not to be too demanding. Twilight told me about the incident with the Gala dresses.”, Rarity gave a sigh of relief. The Major nodded “I think for the moment we can settle for an armband.”

Flash nodded, the Major turned “Platoon, Office on Parade, dismissed.”, the platoon saluted, instead on filling away most began to congregate on the new Everfree Guard.

A few days later the Major and Porter walked into town. The passed Mr Waddle, Caramel and Lucky Clover, Zecora at the market place.

The reached Vigil mortuary, the Bat Pony and one of her employees walked out carrying a coffin, covered in a cloth. The Major stopped and took his cap off.

Vigil chuckled “It’s empty.”, Porter snorted and the Major blushed with embracement before replacing his cap.

Passing the Post Office, they noticed Muffins putting a sign in the window say, ‘Help Wanted.’

At Carousel Boutique Rarity opened shop and smiled at the pair “Good morning Major.”

“Good morning Miss Rarity. Myself and Porter have come to discuss the uniforms.”, the fashionista smiled and nodded “Flash should be down in a few minutes, do come in and make yourselves comfortable, but please do mind Opal, she’s can be a bit, frightened, at strangers.”

Porter shook his head “I’m very good with cats Miss Rarity, I think we’ll be fine.”

Chrome Blade in his armour walked down the street. Scootaloo by his side as she explained to him all about the Cutie Mark Crusaders, how she, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle formed the group, their adventures together, Princess Luna’s advice to the three of them, and finally how they got their cutie marks and their talents, finding out what other ponies’ talent are. Chrome smiled at his little girl “You make your old stallion proud Scoots.”

They passed the Boutique and the Major saluted, Chrome nodded his thanks. The Major smiled “Keep up the good work sir."

When the Guard and girl left, the Major took a deep breath “I think I can safely say, with the combined efforts of the Everfree Guard and its reserves we’re ready for anything.”

Author's Note

This is sort of my attempt to flesh out the Royal Guard, true there's been a couple moments in Season 7 but I also wanted to add some details to it.

A Post-Haste Changeling

Twilight read the letter through again. The Council of Friendship looked unsure. As did Mayor Mare present as well, along with Written Script, the Town Clerk.

Finally, Twilight spoke “Well we can’t really refuse him.”

Flash frowned his eyebrows “But a Changeling? Living here?”

Spike glared at him “You didn’t meet Thorax, did you?”, Flash looked away “I was training in Canterlot.” He then looked to Twilight “I’m not trying to be prejudice here. I’m also thinking about the townsfolk’s response, I mean so soon after the secret invasion.”, Mayor Mare nodded “I will try and calm as many ponies down as I can, but I’m afraid there’s only so much I can do. I'm sure there won't be much trouble no-pony paniced at the Changeling at Starlight's graduation.”

Flash spoke again “But I’m not sure, I don’t know the full story with the Changelings so I’ll abstain.”, Twilight nodded.

Rainbow spoke “After what we’ve been through with the Changelings I’m not going to trust this one right of the bat.”, Rarity nodded, the fashionista spoke “It took me days to completely wash off the cocoon slime.” She shuddered “Not to mention those ones at the Award and Graduation Party, they still seem so naïve it’s almost tragic.”

Applejack then spoke “But most of the Changelings are now reformed. We should at least give this one a chance.”

Fluttershy nodded meekly “I know they did terrible stuff when under Chrysalis. Discord told me about what they did to capture him over tea the other day, and he still seemed shaken by it.” She sighed “But Thorax is a better pony, or, whatever you call them.”

“Pony,” Twilight said, everyone, apart from Flash looked at her, she sighed, she wouldn’t reveal her adherence to the Silver Enlightenment, not yet anyway “I did some research, it turns out we Equestrian Ponies, the Crystal Ponies and the Changelings all share a common ancestry, thousands and thousands of years before Equestria was founded.”

Rainbow spoke up “Sometimes Twilight you research the oddest things.”, the Princess rolled her eyes “Getting back to the matter in hoof, part of the alliance agreement between Equestria and the reformed Changeling Kingdom is that if one of Thorax’s subjects so choose they can apply for citizenship in Equestria, the respective Princess of which territory can approve or refuse. Personally, I don’t see any reason not to let him move to Ponyville. Besides it’ll give me something to study.”, the girls rolled their eyes.

Twilight cleared her throat “Shall we vote? Myself and Flash are abstaining.”, the Council nodded.

Mayor Mare looked to Written Script “Take notes of this.”, the Unicorn nodded and levitated a piece of parchment and a quill pen.

Twilight spoke “Who else is abstaining?”

Pinkie held up her hoof “Bet you didn’t know I knew what abstaining meant.”

Script stifled a laugh as he wrote down those not wishing to vote. Mayor Mare gave him a glare.

Twilight continued “All those against?”, Rarity and Rainbow put their hoofs up. They both blinked and looked around the others while Script marked them off.

Twilight nodded “And so all in favour?”, Applejack, Fluttershy, Spike and Starlight held their hoofs up. Twilight turned to Mayor Mare “So out of every-pony to vote that’s a two-thirds majority.”, the Mayor nodded and turned to Script finishing “Come along Town Clerk, we have to make arrange.”

“Yes ma’am.” And the two walked out.

Twilight got down from her throne and smiled at those who voted yes “Thank you,” she looked to Spike “again Spike you spoke in true favour first and set the example of friendship.” She then addressed the gathered “Now it’s all are turns to set the example for the Everfree Kingdom and extend our friendship to our incoming resident, Changeling Cipher.”

The Major read his favourite daily magazine, the Liverypool Street Herald, a joke newspaper filled with jokes, and small bits of news not thought serious or just too minimal to include. Written by a large team of ponies on Canterlot’s Liverypool Street, and founded by a Canterlot town crier named Herald, hence the name.

He of course read the serious papers, the Equestria Daily and the Ponyville Express, but this kept him in good spirits for the morning.

“Porter, come and listen to this, Coronal Helmet Stream, Equestria’s greatest elephant tracker and research was buried today. In future, he’s decided not to follow so close behind the elephants.”, Porter nose scrunched up as the Major laughed and read out a few more “Advertisement here: Old mare with little dog seeks post.”

Porter laughed “Very droll that one sir.”

“The Equestrian National Railway company has asked the stallion who took the five o’clock train home, to give it back.”

Porter turned the page to one of the later pages “Industrial news here sir, a shock announcement yesterday that Equestria’s leading manufacturer of dog biscuits has had to call in the official retriever.”

The Major burst out laughing at that “Very good. Club news, members of Sit-up Club are getting thin on the ground. It’s hard to find anyone in the Hide and Seek Society. And the Parachute Club has disbanded, they all fell out.” He laughed “But the Chairman, Geronimo, has said he will continue this hobby even though he doesn’t know what he’ll say when jumping out of the balloon. But these problems don’t worry him for they are not the hardest part of skydiving, the ground is.” The Major shook his head “Whoever wrote this one didn’t know when to stop.”

Porter said narrowing his eyes “I do believe there is, or was a Parachute Club. It’s lucky then never came over Ponyville, otherwise we may have attacked them.”

“Oh, don’t be absurd Porter.” He glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece “Sweet Celestia, is that time?”

Porter levitated his watch and nodded “It appears so sir.”

“We’re supposed to meet that Changeling chap and escort him in. Why didn’t you say?”

“I didn’t want to spoil your fun sir.”, the Major fumed before grabbing his cap “Come on.” And the two ran.

Up on the hill overlooking the village two figures stop. One a small bipedal creature, the other an equine about the size of Big Mac with an insect appearance.

The main body colours blue and yellow. A sharp horn in between his ears. And three gems on his chest denoting his gender just like King Thorax.

The Changeling sighed and looked to the creature “Well Riolu, shall we?”

The bipedal creature, a small blue canine with black torso and legs, a long blue tail, and a yellow collar. Rounded white bumps on the backs of its forepaws. A black mask like a racoon around its red eyes, from the edges of the mask protruded two lobes like appendages, but not ears, for two blue triangular stuck from the. Two finish off the oddity it stood constantly on tiptoes instead of its entire foot.

It turned to the Changeling and nodded with an excited bark. The Changeling smiled and rubbed the top of his head, he took a deep breath.

“Excuse me! Wait!” a voice shouted. The creature known as Riolu yipping in surprise and ducked behind the Changeling as two ponies came running up.

The old gentle-colts panted before standing straight and offered his hoof “Major Green Fields, late of Princess Celestia’s Fifth Regiment of Hoof. Commanding Officer of the Everfree Guard Reserves.”, the Changeling blinked looked at the hoof, then smiled and took it “Cipher, I’m a,” he paused and cleared his throat, he took the hoof away and rubbed the back of his head “well, it’s now a Prince Changeling and was…”

“A Prince!”

He nodded “Well I was a Drone Changeling,” he blushed and looked away “that was what Her Tragedy called her harem.”

The Major and Porter blushed, Porter utter “Dear Celestia.”

“Yes, I know. And before you think we Drones had an easy life. We didn’t. We were chosen out of the strongest and most intelligent of a hatching to impregnate Her Tragedy with a mixture of genes to create the next stronger generation. She raised us to hate each, but love her so she could horde most of the love for her own survival, most Changelings die early of starvation. In fact, from what His Majesty King Thorax told me she in fact absorbs the love from her harem after mating to persevere herself and keep possible usurpers from rising. If Starlight and Thorax hadn’t dethroned her I would be dead right about now.”

Riolu hugged Cipher’s leg. He hugged him back “Our culture was undeveloped, basically anything Her Tragedy told us went. Love as a magical energy we feed upon, we know now, is an infinite resource, but it’s finite to create individually, just as with a relation, Her Tragedy thought it best to steal love as the quicker solution.”

The Major blinked “How do feed off love?”

“It’s a form of flitter feeding, even as I’m breathing I’m absorbing the emotion energy. Before our reformation, the snarl was the best way of getting lot of food quickly.”

Porter cleared his throat “You said you became a Prince Changeling, how did you achieve that and exactly what does that mean?”

“His Majesty needed to appoint heirs as a contingency, his elder brother Pharnyx, leader of the recently former Changeling Praetorian Guard is a Prince Changeling too. I was the one of smartest of the harem, and in my spare time I trained to increase my magic skills, but given how young individual Changelings are…”

“Wait,” the Major asked “what do you mean by young?”

Cipher sighed “I was hatched after the Wedding Invasion.”, their eyes widened, the Major stammered “But, but, but it’s only just been a year and a half since then!”

“Exactly. I did say most Changelings died young, aging depends on Love too, Her Tragedy took care of us and pretended to love us as a mother and those we felt loved so we grew quickly, but when she saw us as means to an end and when we failed he she stopped “loving” us and took the love back.” He sighed. Riolu whimpered and rubbed his head against his body. “As I was saying give how young individual Changelings are don’t be surprised if I get things wrong or am naïve on somethings.”

They nodded, the Major stood to attention “Very well, I believe we’ve wasted enough time up here.”

Cipher held up a hoof “Wait, just before we go into town I want to talk to one pony.”

At the cottage door and looked to the Major “So I follow that road to get to town?”, both soldiers nodded “Good luck.”

“Thank you.”

Porter leaned “Can I just ask, are you referring to Chrysalis as Her Tragedy?”

“I would have thought that was obvious.”, Porter chuckled “That’s a very good play on words.”, the Major nodded and the two walked along the road and over the bridge. Cipher turned back and gulped, he looked down to Riolu and the canine creature smiled. Cipher took a deep breath and knocked.

“I’m coming.” The soft voice said from inside “You’re a little early for our tea session,” the door opened and the yellow Pegasus stopped, blinked. Cipher gave a sheepish smile and with a blush said “Hi?”, she yelped and inched back “Who are…” she blinked “Are you Cipher?”

He nodded “I wanted to speak with you.”

“Oh, well,” she looked back into her house “I think I can spare a minute or two, but you see, I’ve got a friend coming over for tea.”

“Oh, if you’re serving tea then I’ll join you, I quite like the stuff.”

“Really? I didn’t know Changelings could drink tea?”

“Neither did I until His Majesty offered me a cup.”

“Well then, come in please.” Cipher nodded and walked in, Riolu stepped in and Fluttershy gasped “Oh my goodness!”, Cipher took off buzzing and nearly hit the celling to avoid the almost pounce like action she did to close the gap between herself and the little blue creature.

Riolu barked and jump back shaking. Fluttershy back up herself “Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Cipher landed beside the little animal and scratched behind his ear, Riolu calmed down and his eyes fluttered, he chuckled and turned to her “It’s alright, Riolu gets scared by new ponies.”, Riolu smiled and took a step forward, he held his arms up and close his eyes, the appendages on his face rose, after a second or two the appendages and arms dropped. Riolu opened his eyes and gave Fluttershy a big smile.

Fluttershy bit her lip and rubbed her hoof on his head “You’re so cute!”, something which sounded like a very squeaky cough, every eye turned to the white rabbit standing at Fluttershy’s hoof, Fluttershy turned to him with a smile.

Riolu looked at the bunny before repeating what he did before. After his arms went down he gave an unsure smile and offered his paw with a friendly bark. Angel Bunny raised an eyebrow before bouncing up and slapping it. Riolu yelp and waved his paw a little hurt.

Fluttershy gasped. Turned to Angel. And gave him the Stare. Angel collapsed into himself.

Cipher cleared his throat and Fluttershy looked at him. The Changeling took he deep breath and spoke “On behalf of my kind I want to…”

A flash appeared in the room and a tall jumble of a creature stood. He arched his snake like body down to Fluttershy and grinned “Am I fashionably late for tea again?”, the Pegasus smiled “Yes Discord, but I still need to put the kettle on, I’ve got a guest.”, the Spirit of Chaos looked up at Cipher.

The Changeling gulped and back up to the wall. Discord gritted his teeth and his eyes flared, he stomped up to Cipher and grabbed him with his lion paw. “What are you doing here?” he said threating voice.

A snarling bark sounded, Riolu jumped up high and placed his palm on Discord’s arm. From the paw came a burst of yellow light. Discord hand opened and Cipher dropped. A wearier Riolu, hardly able to stand, put himself between the cringing Discord and the Prince Changeling and growled.

Discord rubbed his lions arm with the white tuff of his reptilian tale and looked down, his eyes widened “A Jakhowl?”

“Um, Discord?”, the Spirit of Chaos turned to Fluttershy who walked past him and offered her hoof to Cipher “This is Cipher, Twilight’s allowed him to live in Ponyville, and I agreed.”

Discord’s eyes widened “But Fluttershy, he’s a Changeling!”

Cipher looked up at him and snarled “Oh I see! Just because I’m a Changeling you assume I dangerous? Don’t you recall all of us being ready to fight against Her Tragedy Chrysalis or is your memory as chaotic as your powers?”

Discord growled.

Fluttershy quickly flew between them “Please no fighting in my cottage. Let’s just all calm down and have a nice cup of tea.”, Cipher blinked and looked down in shame “I’m sorry.”, Fluttershy smiled and looked to Discord, the Spirit of Chaos crossed his arms “Under protest.”, Fluttershy sighed.

Soon they sat around a small table. Discord sat on the armchair while Fluttershy and Cipher sat on the sofa. Riolu sat at the leg of the sofa next to Cipher chewing on a bone, however he did start feeling sleepy. Cipher took a sip and blinked looked at the browning liquid “This is an amazing brew,” he looked to Fluttershy “where do you get it?”

“Oh, it’s always sold at the market.” She put her cup down “Now, your said something about on behalf of your kind?”

Cipher nodded “Yes, as I was saying on behalf on my kind I’d like to apologise for our knapping of you, your friends and the royalty.”

“Oh, that’s alright I know you did it because Chrysalis told you too. But Twilight and Spike tell me the hive is doing very well.”

“Oh, they are, but for one like me things were getting a little too, what’s the word? Lively.”

Discord snorted “And what’s wrong with that?”

“Oh nothing, if you like that. The hive is a very claustrophobic place, you cannot do something without some-pony else knowing about it. Me, I prefer a quiet night. And that’s not been easy since His Majesty gave me my position, I had mares lining up at my door.”

A blush started form on Fluttershy’s cheeks “Why would they do that?”, Cipher recited what he said to the Major and Porter. Although he left out the part of being a sex slave to Chrysalis.

At the end, Discord’s mouth opened and fell to the floor. Fluttershy though thoroughly uncomfortable put her hoof onto his shoulder “You poor thing. I never knew the Changelings had life so hard.”

Cipher looked at the hoof then to her calm and concerned eyes before giving her a sad smile “It’s alright, we are improving. As for those mares, I don’t really blame them, we’re all a little naïve about the concept of sharing love so I can understand they look it a little literal.”, Fluttershy blushed further, Cipher frowned “I’m sorry if I’m making you uneasy, I don’t mean to. I don’t want the Changelings to forever be the cause of fear, paranoia and unease.”

“No, it’s alright.” Fluttershy said giving him a small smile.

Discord raised an eyebrow before clearing his throat, both looked to him “This is meant to be my weakly tea with Fluttershy.”

“Discord,” she said with a slight frown. Cipher raised his hoof “No I understand, and I know better than to anger someone with reality changing powers.” He got down and picked up the sleeping Riolu, then a thought struck him “You called Riolu a Jakhowl? Is that what his species his called?”

“Yes, but I don’t know much myself.”, Riolu stirred and growled before falling asleep again. Fluttershy turned to Discord and gave him a glare. Discord gulped and spoke “Well maybe I do, I didn’t pay much attention to them at the time.”

Cipher frowned “So they’ve been around since your chaotic reign of Equestria?”

“They were rare even then, I may have done something to make them disappear I’m not sure.”

“Discord?” Fluttershy exclaimed.

“I don’t know.”, Fluttershy frowned and turned to Cipher “Why not speak to Twilight?”, he nodded “Thank you.” He turned around and walked out.

When the door shut Fluttershy turn to Discord “I can tell you didn’t tell Cipher everything about Jakhowls.”

“That because he didn’t ask me, he just wanted to know the creature’s name.”, Fluttershy gave him the Stare. Discord gulped, less about the Stare itself and more about offending his best friend “Don’t tell him, or at least now, once we’ve buried the hatchet and we can trust each other…”

“You don’t trust him?” she looked hurt, he sighed “I’m sorry Fluttershy but you know what the Changelings did, as much as I can understand their problems I just can’t get past that just yet.”, she sighed and looked to the door and sighed again.

Discord narrowed his eyes, she returned to him and he recovered “You we’re saying about Jakhowls.”

“Yes, Jakhowls had, have, this ability which affects me. You saw what happened. As being as powerful as me being physical hurt, and by a pup, and there used to be an entire race of them.”

“Riolu’s only a puppy?”

“Yes, but there gone now, or at least I think so, but since seeing that one I can’t be sure.”

“What is this ability?”

“You beginning to sound like Twilight.”, Fluttershy relented.

Outside the castle doors Twilight blinked unbelieving at the smiling bipedal canine “A living Jakhowl pup?” she exclaimed “I thought they were extinct! Where did you find him?”

“During my journey, here to Ponyville.” He sighed “See, I knew Changelings would be distrusted south by many outside of Ponyville so I didn’t use the train, I found him lost in the Buffalo Reservation just outside Appleloosa, the Chief wanted me to send his regards.”, Twilight smiled.

Cipher looked out at the town, a pony walked between two houses but took a chance to wave, the Changeling hesitantly waved back, and received a friendly smile in return. Cipher smiled as well “I can’t believe how friendly the town is. I just walked in and no-pony gave me disgusted or fearful looks. Curious yes, I can understand that, but…”

Twilight giggled “Ponyville has always been an accepting place, it’s got several of each race, we’ve got a couple donkeys and mule or two about town. Starlight and Spike help me in explaining about your race and you change of heart.”

Cipher looked back her the Princess “I’d like to thank them both, their heroes to the Changelings, His Majesty’s first friend and Miss Glimmer who help His Majesty ascend, I wasn’t able to attend that party a few months ago.”

“They’re out of town right now, Starlight’s visiting Sunburst in the Crystal Empire and Spike helping Rarity look for gems, apparently a harder job after Maud pointed out the gems in the local area aren't rare, they could always ask her for help.”, Cipher nodded “I’ll do it later then.”

“Cipher, just one thing?” He eyes gleamed “Can I, study Riolu?”, Riolu stepped back a little and Cipher frowned “Depends on the type of study.”

“Oh, nothing that’ll hurt him, just observation, I may send Spike to take notes if I’m not available.”, Cipher put his hoof to his chin before looking down to Riolu, the Jakhowl shrugged, Cipher looked back “I can’t see any reason why not.”

Twilight nodded “Thank you. Why’s he called Riolu?”

Cipher shrugged “I have no idea. The Buffalo called him that, doesn’t sound Buffalo though, they said it means, roughly translated ‘Organiser to maintain the village.’, not quite sure to make of that.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes and tapped her hoof on her chin, then she shook her head and started trotting “Come on I’ll show you to your new house.”, Cipher blinked and his mouth opened “I have a house?”

“Of course, we wouldn’t leave you on the street.”, Cipher and Riolu quickly closed the gap.

They passed the Post Office and Cipher noticed the sign in the window saying, ‘Help Wanted.’ He raised an eyebrow with a small smile, he heard a bark and turned to Riolu some ways forward waving him over, Cipher trotted towards the Jakhowl and the Princess.

Soon they reached a typical timber-framed house close by to a colourful shop made to look like gingerbread and other confessionary stylings. Cipher blinked “That’s Sugarcube Corner, right?”, Twilight nodded, Cipher smirked “That’s going to be very bright in the morning, I may not need an alarm clock.”, he glanced at Riolu, the pup licked his lips, Cipher chuckled “Later Riolu.”

The door to a neighbouring house opened, squeezing out of the front door came a massive, muscular stallion, Cipher’s eyes widened, then narrowed with confusion at the tiny pair of wings.

Twilight waited for a moment “Cipher this is Bulk Biceps. Bulk this is Cipher.”, Bulk smiled “Nice to meet you!” He shouted, “Need anything heavy to lift?”, Cipher blinked and spoke slowly “Well, I may need some help with moving furniture, I’ll let you know.”

“Cool. I’ll be next-door if you need me. I’ve got some foals to teach.” He fluttered his wings and slowly flew off. Cipher turned to Twilight “So I’ve got the hyperactive Pinkie Pie and the boisterous Bulk for neighbours.” He glanced down as a shaking Riolu who held his ear, Cipher gently nudged him.

Another door opened and out walked a cerise mare with a trio of smiling flowers for a cutie mark. Twilight called her over “Cheerilee your new neighbour’s here.”, the mare called Cheerilee smiled and walked over. She offered her hoof “It’s very nice to meet you, I didn’t know regular Changelings could get so big, I’m Miss Cheerilee I’m the teacher at the school.”

“Oh, really?”, she nodded, Cipher bit his lip “Is it alright if I get some lessons from you?”, Cheerilee frowned “What do you mean?”, Cipher sighed and for the third time recounted his actual age and the reason for it. Both mares stared. Cipher nodded “I’m getting used to that face. I’ve seen on Major Fields and Mr Porter and on Miss Fluttershy, and that Discord.”

Twilight blinked “You we’re at Fluttershy’s when Discord was there?”, Cipher nodded and told what happened. Twilight eyes widened and looked to Riolu, the Jakhowl got petted by Cheerilee. Twilight’s frowned and narrowed her eyes, but then she recovered and turned to Cipher “We still need to get you inside.” She pushed the door open. Cipher stared the darkroom and when he received a nodded from Twilight he hesitantly stepped in.

Inside he looked around seeing nothing “Can’t some-pony find the main switch? Is there a candle or something?”

Suddenly the light came on with a shout of “SURPRISE!”, Cipher flinched. Grabbed Riolu, put him under him and dropped to the floor. With his eyes shut.

A soft voice spoke “Oh dear, are you scared Cipher?”, the Changeling opened his eyes and met Fluttershy’s, his mind swam in the swimming pool cyan of her irises, speechless.

“Are you okay?” another voice said and Cipher blinked turned to the orange Earth Pony Mare with the Stetson “Your reaction wasn’t quite what we hoped for.”

Cipher slowly got up, Riolu clung to his leg but started to raise an arm and shut his eyes. Cipher looked to the cowgirl mare “I’m fine Miss Applejack, it’s just I was shocked.”, he looked around the room, dozens of ponies stood with concerned faces, balloons, confetti and streamer covered the walls and floor “I’m use to loud noise meaning an attack or something nasty, not a…”

A loud gasp sounded and Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared before him “You mean you’ve never had a party before?” she exclaimed “Well I’m going to fix that.” She dashed off and returned quickly with a slice of cake “This’ll cheer you up.”

Cipher’s eyes widened at the cake and he frantically spoke “I don’t think you should…” he didn’t get to say anymore as Pinkie practically shoved the slice into this mouth and causing Cipher to swallow. Next thing he jerked and coughed up. Then he ran up the stairs.

Fluttershy, Twilight and Pinkie quickly followed just seeing the bathroom door shut.

From inside they heard Cipher throw up. Fluttershy hid inside her mane, Twilight frowned deep, wide eyed and small pupiled, slowly she turned to Pinkie Pie who just blinked at the door “Maybe he’s allergic to something in the cake.”

The door opened and Cipher, looking tired and a little unwell waked past the three and headed for the stair. A hoof touched his shoulder and he turned to look at Fluttershy “Are you alright? What happened?”

“I’m okay, could be better, as to what happened I’d better explain it to every-pony present.”, the four went back down the stairs, concerned eyes focused on him. Cipher himself focused on two mares looking at Riolu, the pup presently laid on a sofa. One mint green Unicorn with a heart shaped harp cutie mark seemed a little too interested in the Jakhowl’s paws. Whereas the other a yellow Earth Pony with a blue and pink mane and sweets for her cutie mark looked at the pup with suspicion.

Cipher walked over and cleared his throat the two looked to him “Sorry but Riolu might not be happy with the attention when he wakes up, he’s not very good at meeting new ponies. Anyway, he needs his sleep, he’s only a pup so the Princess say.”, the yellow mare looked back down at Riolu with slight guilt before she nudged the other and they both walked away.

Cipher then sat down on the spare part of the sofa and address the crowd “What happened after I ate the cake is an unfortunate part of Changeling biology, we can’t eat solid food.” He glanced at Fluttershy “Liquids we can have, and the nectar of flowers. But the only thing that can properly nourish us is emotional energy. Magic is tied to the physical body, I heard when that Lord Tirek character stole every-ponies’ magic it cause tiredness and heaviness in the body?”

Every-pony nodded, some shuddered too and the memories.

Cipher continued “I’m not all that sure how, but we develop are emotion fuelled magic to get around the blocking powers of Her Tragedy’s throne.”

A couple of laughs burst through the room, every-pony turned to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie laughing the corner “Her Tragedy,” Rainbow said between laughs “that’s good one.”, Cipher smirked “I’m proud of that play on words. Anyway, we became so depended on the magic and possible as a side-effect to living so close to the dark stone of the throne we evolved to literally only live on emotional energy, the more passionate the most nourishing, and since Equestria has more love than anger. But to narrow down the problem with the cake, I literally don’t have the stomach for it.”

Fluttershy walked up and gave him a small hug. Cipher stiffed but then leaned into it.

Pinkie bounced up causing the two to break and she said “Sorry.” Cipher smiled slightly “It wasn’t your fault, I assume most ponies didn’t know about the innerworkings of us Changeling.”

Mayor Mare walked up “Now that we’ve had that sorted out I want to ask if you’ve considered any possible jobs?”

Cipher frowned “I haven’t really, I only just got here. But I did notice the Post Office needed help.”

“Oh!” came a voice, Cipher looked to this left and a greyish-blue Pegasus mare flew up to him with landed, with slight stumped “I’m Muffins I’m Post Mistress, we need a new Post-pony.”

Cipher blinked “Well, traveling up here made me realise I like to stretch my legs. Not to mention getting to travel around town could allow me to make new friendship all over.” His eyes widened and he grinned “When do I start?”

Muffins smiled “First delivery comes from the station at nine o’clock.” She then looked him over “Your bodies already blue so I don’t think you’ll need a uniform.”

Riolu stirred and looked up, Cipher looked down “What do you think Riolu, delivering the post? Why don’t you say hello to Muffins?”, the Jakhowl turned to the cross-eyed mare and gave a bark and a smile. Muffins squealed and hugged him “The kid are going to love you.”

“You’ve got children?” Cipher asked, Muffins nodded and explained about Dipsy, Crackle and Dinky and her husband Dauntless Doo. Cipher frowned “How are they going to feel having a Changeling coming and going?”

Muffins frowned “I’m sure I can keep them busy, if not I’m sure Dauntless or the Doc and take care of them.” She turned around “Hey Doc?”

Time Turner tapped his hoof on the barometer hanging on the wall, when he heard Muffins he turned around “Yes?”, Muffins asked and the doctor shrugged seems perfectly fine to me, I don’t mind, the children are very good lab assistants.” He then offered his hoof the Cipher “Doctor Time Turner, timekeeper, handy-pony, scientist and inventor.”

“You must have one large calling card.”, chuckled filtered through the room. Time Turner pulled out his watch and his eye widened “Great whickering stallion! Is that the time? I need to get home fast.” He ran to the door and opened it, the town clock struck as well and every-pony with watches realised the time as well. Soon ponies began filing out the door.

Cipher gave a sigh of relief. Fluttershy walked up and gave him a small smile and tapped him on the shoulder “Good luck tomorrow Cipher.”

He smiled “Thank you.”, she nodded and turned to leave, Cipher walked up “Will I be able to see you tomorrow?”, Fluttershy blinked and considered “Well if I get any letters then yes, but you can come to my cottage, or the sanctuary at any time, I could always do with help with my animals.”

Riolu barked and Fluttershy smiled “Yes you can come too Riolu.” She turned back to Cipher, now she glanced away and tried to hide herself in her mane “Well I guess, I’ll, see you tomorrow.”

Cipher smiled “I hope so yes. See you tomorrow.”, Fluttershy gave a small smile before trotting out the door and closing it behind her.

Once alone in his house Cipher gave out a sigh of relief.

Riolu barked and he turned “I think you’ll have to sleep on the sofa until I can get a basket for you.” Then a thought struck him. Ran out the door and looked down the streets. He saw a figure of butter yellow and pink walking slowly away. Cipher buzzed him wings “Wait Fluttershy.”, she yelped and curled up. Cipher landed and gazed at her shuddering form, he gulped and slowly put his hoof on her “Fluttershy?”, she slowed down and looked up, Cipher gave her a grin “Sorry about that, I just won’t to ask, you wouldn’t happen to know where I can a basket for Riolu to sleep in?”

“Oh,” she got up “I know Filthy Rich sells them in Barnyard Bargains.”, she pointed towards the town centre “Go through the market and turn left at the Day Spa.”

Cipher smiled “Thanks.” He turned to the door “Come on Riolu.”, the Jakhowl barked and tried to jump to reach the door nod. Cipher smiled picked him up and the bipedal canine shut it. Cipher levitated the key and locked the door. The two walked away from the house.

Fluttershy watched them go, sighed with a sad smile and flew home.

Author's Note

Sorry about the possible spelling mistake, as I said before I have Dyslexia (which I can ironically spell correctly).

I know some of the content here is a bit mature for a children's show but I wanted to give Cipher and the Changelings more development. If the up and coming episode about the Changeling contradicts this head-canon of mine I'll list this story as AU.

And AanWGuy pointed out the shifts in tone. I admit this story was written without much of a plan, and partly as an excrises in home much I can write, I mean I start writing this in late Feburary. So I can only apologise if the tone shifts and things and aburtly here and there.

Mayday Madness

Mayday is an important festival in the rural areas of Equestria, to the built-up city areas it’s simply another holiday. However no-pony could quite remember why Mayday started, many assume it a celebration of life, fertility and the beauty of the natural world, and no pony quite knew the meaning of May.

Twilight however dug into the scholarly records of the Silver Enlightenment and she discovered Mayday also coincides with the Annunciation of Silver Light, the day the Angel Gabriel came before the virgin Unicorn, Beloved Lady, and told her God chose her to, in time, conceive and bear a son. And the time when the foal would be born, in September of next year.

Beloved asked about this and the Angel responded, ‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, the foal to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God.’

See as this would be an important day to any-pony, and now doubly important in her mind, she, didn’t order but encouraged as many ponies as possible came up with ideas for possible activities to do on the day itself. Some ranged from the traditional, to the unusual.

The Major and most of the Home Guard decided on a traditional idea. Whereas, Thunderlane suggested quite an original idea, based on a Trottingham legend.

How these two ideas came to interact caused quite a stir in Ponyville.

In the stable halls of Kimblewick Hall the Major and Porter started closing as many doors as possible “Right every-pony,” the Major said shutting his office door “this is top secret. Close the curtains.”, a couple of ponies proceeded to do so, the Major turned to two “Woods, Meadows, stand out of guard and don’t let any-pony in, I don’t care who it is.”, they nodded and exited.

The Major went back to his office, went inside and turned to the door leading outside and shouted to it “All clear outside Zecora?”

“No-pony has come to spy. It is all clear outside.”

“Good, after we’re I want to discuss that tribal dance idea of yours.”

“Understood. It pleases me if you could.”, the Major nodded and shut the door. He then walked across the hall and spoke to a secluded area “Right Steel, all clear.”

“Right sir, come on lads.”, Cold Steel, followed by Vigil, Caramel, Lucky Clover, Mr Waddle and Doctor Time Turner walked out dressed as Morris Dancers. Their costumes consisted of ordinary clothes decorated with ribbons, strips of cloth and pieces of coloured paper, bells on their hind legs.

The Major smiled “Excellent fellows, very good turnout.”

“Permission to speak sir?” Steel asked, the Major nodded. “Aren’t you going to wear your attire?”, the Major shook his head “Not just now, I’ll shall just wear the hat.” He took his pecked cap off “Now the reason we’ve gone through these pains to keep this a secret, is because no-pony should see this dance until it is perfect, otherwise we shall look like a bunch of idiots.” He finished and put a bowler hat with feathers, flowers and ribbons on his head.

Vigil spoke “Major? I want a word with you.”, the Major nodded. “I’ve got to tell you sir, that as a Bat Pony, I feel a right fool dressed up in this, pansy clowns outfit.”

“Vigil,” the Major said “You did volunteer for what we planned, and most us voted for a tradition Morris Dance, Princess Twilight and the Council approved the idea as part of the Mayday procession. Now Porter do you have the instruction book?”

“Yes, sir.”

A knock came on the door. The Major walked to it “I thought I told Meadows and Woods not to let any-pony in.”, he opened to the doors and Pinkie Pie bounced in dressed in an array of instruments as a one-pony-band “Hi Major. You said you wanted music for your dance?”
The Major blinked “Oh yes I did.” But then his face turned stern “Promise me you won’t say anything about this to any-pony until we have it prefect.”

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cup cake in my eye.”

“Good.” He returned to the six ponies now lining up “Now where did we get to last time?”

Cold Steel raised a hoof “I was having trouble with my whiffling sir.”

“Ah, whiffling. Now it is very important you should understand the meaning of these moves. Read the bit about whiffling Porter.”, the sergeant opened the book and read aloud “Whiffling, whiffling here we are. Yes, the movement of the whiffling stick, represents the frightening away of evil spirits.”

Caramel spoke “Frighten away from what sir?”, the Major looked at him steely “This is a fertility dance.”

Mr Waddle “I don’t think my friend Chelsea Porcelain would approve of that sort of thing.”

Vigil grumbled “Oh shut your silly old duffer, it just to encourage the corps to grow, it done every year by the young and fertile of the village.”

Lucky Clover snorted “No much good you lot doing it.”, Vigil glared at him “Speak for yourself.”

The Major quickly got in between the two “Alright, alright, that’ll do.”

“Permission to speak sir? I do not wish to stand opposite Vigil when she’s whiffling.”

“Why not?”

Well sir, I’ve face Whirling Desert Ponies, and I’ve face charging Akhal-Teke. But I don’t want to face Vigil when she’s waving her whiffling stick, she’s got a mad look in her eyes.”

“Mad!” Vigil exclaimed, her head shifted around the room “My eyes are perfectly sane.” She turned to the Major “Major Fields would you say I have mad eyes?” She leaned into him, the Major looked over her muzzle for a few second “Well no, not really mad.”, she grinned and looked to Steel “There you are, you see?”

The Major went to end of the six lines “Now, just before we start, we’d better check the bells are alright. Left leg.”, they shock, “Right leg.”, the jiggle filled the hall, the Major looked to Waddle who shook slightly less than the others “Is that the best you can do Waddle.”

“A touch of rheumatism I’m afraid sir.”, the Major nodded and turned to Pinkie “Right from the top, Miss Pie?”, she pulled at the accordion and readied her hoof with the drum, and the Major tapped a hoof on the floor as the Morris Dances began.

“And one, two, three, four, five six, seven, eight. And back.”, they walked back “Two, three, four. Forward, six, seven, eight.”, they banged their sticks together, “And round.”, they hoped around in a circle, “Turn.”, they went the other way, a before returning to their original places, “Whiffle.”, they bang their sticks together eight times, “Bet the ground.”, tapped the sticks on the floor twice, then reared up with a “Whoop!”, repeated three times, “Whiffle.”, they repeated the action.

But, Caramel bashed his stick into Lucky’s a little harder, Lucky ducked into himself afraid of being hit.

The music stopped. The Major and the rest of the platoon inside clapped “Very good. That was very good indeed. I’m proud of you. Now take a break and get back into your uniforms. Thank you, Miss Pie.”

“You’re welcome.” And walked out, crashing and banging as she went.

The Major looked to Caramel and asked, “What was all that about Caramel, you’ve could have hurt Clover?”, the rodeo clown sighed “I’m sorry Major, guess I can’t hide it any longer. I’m in a highly nervous state.”

“Trouble at home?”

“No trouble away from home sir.”

“You’d better come into the office.” They walked in and the Major knocked on the door “Okay Zecora. I need to speak with Caramel, but I talk to you about your idea after.”, the Zebra came in nodded and left the way they came in.

The Major at his chair and Caramel took the other, the Major spoke “Now, what’s the matter?”

“Well it’s delicate sir, and I’d like your help sir, you see it’s Sassaflash, see we have a certain arrangement.”

“You’re a couple, I’ve seen you two together on Hearts and Hooves Day, rubbing noses too.”, Caramel blushed, the Major spoke again “I don’t see what this has got to do with me.”

“Well, recently her affection has been taken by another.”, the Major nodded “I see. Who?”

“Written Script, the Town Clerk.”

“What? Well, I know he has a weaken for young mares, but I still don’t see what you want me to do about it.”

“I want you to speak with her.”

“I couldn’t possibly do that.”

“You must sir, a true voice of authority, there’s her address sir. But don’t go giving it to every-pony.”

“But I…”

“You must speak to her sir, you must. Otherwise I will be a broken stallion, and what good is a broken solider to you sir.” He quickly left and Porter walked in “Dear oh dear. What are you going to do sir?”

“I don’t know. I suppose I could see her. Perhaps I should point out the type of character Script is. I’ll go around later and arrange a meeting with her. Send Zecora in will you Porter.”

“Sir, she wants to demonstrate the dance out in the hall.”

“In front of the Platoon?”, Porter nodded, the Major sighed “Oh very well.”, he left the office.

In the end, most of the Platoon thought the tribal dance didn’t suit the Mayday celebration.

Later in the evening at the Post Office, Vigil and Waddle talked to each other.

“It’s happened.” Vigil said.

“What has?”

“Major Fields has succumbed to the flesh. I saw him at the door of young Sassaflash talking to her.”

“But Major Fields is a respectable stallion.”, Vigil shook her head “It’s stallions like him who are the worst. Looking down their noses at other ponies while at the same time deep down inside, lust. Pure naked lust. The fires of Tartarus are lying in wait for him, he’s doom.”

Waddle narrowed his eyes in disgust “I think the whole thing is nonsense.”

“Nonsense? Listen I heard him arranging to meet this mare at the Café Hay tomorrow morning at 11:30. If you don’t believe come and see for yourself.”

Waddle nodded “I will just to prove that you are wrong.”

“Right, and don’t forget, it’s your turn to pay for the meal.”

A throat cleared and the two turned.

Muffins stood at the counter “Do you have anything to post before I close up?” she then leaned down and pull up a basket “Muffin?”

Elsewhere in town, others discussed this development.

Cipher stood by his auto-magic cart. When Parcel Post handled the letters he simply pulled the cart, but being an Earth Pony he could handle a heavy cart at a reasonable speed down the country lanes.

Cipher on the other hoof, despite his size, could not, and his delicate wings couldn’t allow him to pull it flying either, and Riolu as a passenger only made things worse. Thus, Muffins contacted Head Office in Canterlot, and they supplied the standard cart for non-Earth Pony or Pegasus Post-personal.

Auto-magic is mixture of magic and technology giving carts and other such vehicles prolonged motion without requiring any ‘horsepower’, so to speak. Cipher magically ignited the battery crystal and starts the alchemical fire spell to power to engine.

Time Turner looked over the letter the next Changeling Post-stallion gave him. The doctor spoke “I’ve got a question about Major Fields, you’ve delivered letters to Kimblewick Hall yes?”

“That’s right, what do you want to know?”

“What time does he go to the Café Hay?”

“Well, about 11:30 for a cup of tea after reporting to Captain Sentry. I usually see him leave and talk to Porter, he usually stays at the hall. Why do you ask?”

“Well, my information is, that he’s meeting a certain mare there.”

“Oh no, Major Fields doesn’t know certain mares. He’s an old bachelor and proud of it.”

“Well maybe he’s decided in the autumn of his life to find companionship.”

“Maybe, but I think you’ve got it all wrong.”

“My information says he’s besotted with her.”

“Besotted, one of my hive-mates was besotted with a Changeling mare, but Her Tragedy disallowed it, the hypocrite she was said the love should be shared between all of us, and she need to control its distribution. And my friend walk out of the hive and into the wastelands. Hey, you don’t think the Major’s going to go to some wasteland like Ghastly Gorge or something? If he does he’ll have a long walk.”

“Why don’t you join me tomorrow and find out? You never know we could have something for the Ponyville Express.”

“Oh, no I’ve got my rounds to do. I can’t skip duty, not when I’m just starting the job. Speaking of which I should be off.” He climbed onto the seat of the wagon next to Riolu, charged his horn, flicked the reins and the cart rolled away.

At the Café Hay the waiter look surprised at how two table were occupied so early in the day. By regulars yes, Miss Vigil, Mr Waddle and Doctor Time Turner, but not this time of day, or for that matter this day in the week. Not to mention the doctor acted oddly, reading the Equestria Daily, he knew the timekeeper didn’t really keep up with current affairs outside of Ponyville, and then he considered the strangely dressed pony sitting a little way away from the others. But he shrugged, the custom is always right.

Waddle still looked unsure “I’m sorry but Major Fields is a perfectly respectable veteran Royal Guard stallion.”, Vigil scoffed “You know your trouble Waddle? You live in a dream world of your own. I tell you Major Fields…” he got interrupted as the waiter spoke “Good morning Major, usual place and cup of tea?”

Vigil shushed Waddle “He’s here.”

The Major spoke “Yes, but I’ve got a guest so I may require assistants Savoir.”

“We aim to please.”, the Major smiled, before looking at the others at the table “I had hoped to be alone this morning.” Savoir Fare spoke “I don’t know why we’ve had a sudden rush this morning sir, please, follow me to your table.”, the Major turned Porter “I think you’d better report to Captain Sentry.” He leaned in to whisper “And be very precise as to why I’m seeing Miss Sassaflash. In a small town like this gossip spreads like wildfire.”

Porter nodded “But ponies are generally polite, I’m sure no-pony will pay the slightly bit of attention to you.” Porter then turned around and left.

Vigil smirked.

From behind his paper Time Turner looked up.

And sitting close to the entrance to the inside, another figure peered over.

The Major followed Savoir to a table in the corner close to the door to the inside, trying to be as far from prying eyes as possible. After the waiter left the Major heard a whisper. He glanced around at the pony sitting near to him, the pony nodded “Major.” The figure wore an orange necktie and a red Stetson hat with a blue and white polka dot ribbon around the crown.

“Good morning.” The Major turned back, then flinched recognising the light brown coat and the dark brown mane, he returned his gaze to the pony in question “Is that you Caramel?”

“You won’t give me away, will you sir?”

“What in the wide world of Equestria are you doing dressed like that?”

“I’m in disguises sir, I don’t want any-pony to recognise me.”

The Major didn’t say anything but looked at him unimpressed, primarily because Caramel’s disguises consisted of two parts of his rodeo clown outfit. The Major instead sat down.

Savoir walked up “Excuse me Major, but this mare says you wanted to see her?”, the Major looked up. Beside the waiter and smiling at him stood a Pegasus mare with a pale turquoise coat, vanilla mane and tail, carrot orange eyes, and a cutie mark of two lightning bolts. “I’m ever so sorry I’m late Major Fields.”

“It’s alright Miss Sassaflash, if you could sit down please.”

“Thank you.” She did so and looked at the café patrons “There are a lot of Ponies here this morning,” she called over “Good morning Miss Vigil, Mr Waddle.”, the two looked up and waved.

The Major sighed and looked as if he wanted to disappear into the ground.

Savoir spoke “Your orders sir, Madame?”

“My usual tea Savoir, there’s a good fellow, and what about you Miss Sassaflash?”

“Lemonade for me.”, Savoir nodded and walked inside. The Major cleared his throat “Now Miss Sassaflash, the reason why I asked you here this morning is…” he felt a tap on his shoulder, he looked around to see Cipher “Sorry about this Major but you’ve got an urgent letter.” He gave it to him and walked off.

Time Turner smirked at the Changeling as he passed him.

The Major slid the letter into his tunic “Now Miss Sassaflash, the reason I asked you to meet me here this morning is to discuss a rather delicate matter.”

“Yes?”

“I find these affairs of emotion very embarrassing.”, she giggled “Well you don’t have to be shy with me Major.”, the Major sniffed “The point is Miss Sassaflash, you’re a very attractive mare…”

“Cup of tea and a lemonade.” Savoir put the tray in place before leaving, his eyes narrowed at the Major. The Major watched him go before turning back “Now where was I?”

“You were saying how attractive I was? You’re quite attractive too, you have a sophisticated handsomeness, especially in that uniform.”

“Well, Miss Rarity is still designing the Home Guard uniform. But we won’t argue about that. The point is Miss Sassaflash, you’re currently in a relationship with Caramel, one of the ponies under my command, he admires you greatly. And it appears you have another admirer.”
Sassaflash put his glass down “Oh Major I couldn’t.”, the Major flinched.

Vigil nudged Waddle “See Waddle, for Celestia’s their flirting.”

“I think we’d better go.”, Vigil stretched out a wing and stopped Waddle getting up.

Time Turner wrote down notes.

Meanwhile the Major tried to recover “Being a public figure I’ve not doubt this new admirer is of great attraction to you.”

“Oh, I’m sure he is.” She smirked.

“Whereas Caramel is a simple rodeo clown.” He enunciated the next part slightly louder “But he’s a fine figure of a stallion Miss Sassaflash, seeing him in training I can be assure. A fine, well-kept mane of brown locks.”

Caramel leaned in with narrow eyes.

“Whereas this new admirer of yours,” the Major continued “not to put too fine a point, keeps his mane a tad unkempt, and is, in my opinion, an unsightly colour. The thing is Miss Sassaflash, Caramel is a loyal member of my platoon, and I don’t want him hurt.”

“I don’t plan on hurting him Major, which is why I must refuse.”

“Refuse?”

“I can’t be unfaithful to Caramel by seeing you as well.”

The Major gulped “I wasn’t referring to myself, I meant Written Script, the Town Clerk.”

“Why would I want a relationship with Written Script?”

Caramel leaned back and smiled.

“Oh, that.” Sassaflash said, Caramel’s eyes widened. And he turned back as his mare-friend started “That’s nothing to do with romance.”

The Major narrowed his eyes “Then what is it about?”

“It’s a secret.” She responded. Caramel narrowed his eyes too.

The Major would have pressed this further until he received a tap on the shoulder. He turned to see Porter standing there “I’m sorry to disturb you sir, but I could fully explain to Captain Sentry about your absence.”

“Why not?”

“A Friendship Problem which included Princess Twilight arose and she insisted Captain Sentry accompany her. All I managed to say was that you were meeting with Sassaflash here the café. He did get rather curious at that.”, the Major’s eyes widened and then he turned to the other watching.

Vigil and Waddle quickly struck up a conversation, and Doctor Time Turner hid behind his paper.

The Major looked to Sassaflash “I recommend you talk to Caramel about this as soon as possible, he seemed very hurt.” He downed his tea and turned to Porter “Let get back to the Hall.”, and they quickly left, Porter paying for the drinks as they did so.

Sassaflash shrugged downed her lemonade and flew off. Caramel got off his seat a tried to stop her, but too little too late. He sighed and trudged slowly away head low.

Waddle turned to Vigil, the Bat Mare just blink, “There you are,” Waddle said, “this was about Caramel, not about temptations or such things, you have such an imagination Miss Vigil.”

Time Turner looked at his notes. Hummed and ripped the paper up. He got out of his seat and left, leaving the newspaper as well.

“Do you think this is wise sir?” Porter said just behind the Major. Currently the two walked down the road towards the Town Hall.

“Yes, Porter I must explain this fully to Captain Sentry when you told me how little you got say, I’ve never been so shocked in my life. That naïve filly of a Pegasus mare thought I had amorous intension towards her.”

Porter stifled a laugh “How awfully embarrassing for you sir.”

“To make matters worse, at least three of my own platoon suspected the same, spied on us, and now Captain Sentry possibly thinks the same.”

They heard running and turned Caramel trotted up “Morning sir, morning Mr Porter,” he looked to the Major “Thank you for talking to Sassaflash like that sir, I’m sure it had a great effect on her.”

Porter replied, “It certainly had.”, the Major narrowed his eyes at Cameral “Has she spoken to you about this yet?”

“No.”

“And you haven’t spoken to her?”

“She did say whatever was happening was a secret.”, the Major groaned and rolled his eyes, he looked sternly at him “Next time you see her speak to her.”

“Yes sir. Where you going to?”

“The Town Hall. Princess Twilight has something to do in there and I hope to speak to Captain Sentry about this mix-up.”

“Then I’d better come with you to vouch for you.”

“Thank you, Caramel.” He turned to Porter “Do you know what this meeting is at the Town Hall is?”

“I have no idea sir. Only that Mr Thunderlane is hosting it.”

In the Town Hall, Twilight sat next to Written Script. Mayor Mare could not attend, important business in Canterlot. Flash stood next to the Princess.

Thunderlane stood in the middle and called out to the cloakroom “Okay girls you can come out now.”

A bunch of young mare walk out. A couple of Earth Ponies, a few Unicorns.

Thunderlane smirked “Very nice.” He turned to the two, Written Script specifically “Well Town Clerk, what do you think?”

“Oh,” he cleared his throat “they’re very nice.”

Twilight looked to Flash, the Captain of the Guard said nothing, but he glanced at her and smiled. She smiled back.

Thunderlane meanwhile walked out to the mares “Right girls, one of you lucky mares could play the part of Lady Gift Divine in the procession next week.”

Written Script spoke up “Can we have the first girl put on the costume.”

“Right,” Thunderlane said and escorted a mare over to a mannequin wish a regal looking dress.

As the trio of the Home Guard reached the Town Hall they notice Sassaflash walking up and knocking on the door “Excuse me Script? It’s only me.”

The door opened and Written Script smiled “Good afternoon my dear, you’re just in time, come in.”

Caramel’s eyes widened “What’s going on in there.”

The Major appeared beside him “I don’t know Caramel, but I intend to find out.”, the three of them ran through the door and almost immediately stopped in their tracks.

The Major quickly recovered and trudged over to Thunderlane “What’s the meaning of this?”

“It’s my business Major I didn’t ask you here.”, the Major fumed and went to Twilight, he saluted “What is going on here Princess?”

Thunderlane responded “Keep your mane on, we’re just picking a mare to play Lady Gift Divine in the procession.”

“Lady Gift Divine?”

“Yeah, Lady Gift Divine, and it’ll much better than your silly Morris Dancing.”

“Alright.” Flash called grabbing every-ponies’ attention “We don’t want any fighting.”

One of the mares raised her hoof “Sorry, but who’s Lady Gift Divine?”

Twilight’s eye widened “How have you not heard of her, she one of Trottingham’s greatest legends. Her husband the King of the Griffish, today’s equivalent is the Grand Duke of the Griffish Isles, raised the taxes, she requested he lower them he said he would if she paraded through the streets of Trottingham without her clothing, appear as a commoner, a bold thing at the time. Which she did, supposedly on a Mayday.”

Sassaflash tapped Written Script “Can I have a private word.”

“Certainly, my dear.”, and she whispered something to him.

Caramel gritted his teeth and looked ready to charge. Porter kept him back.

The Major looked to Caramel and then to Written Script “Now look here Mr Script.”, the Town Clerk held his hoof up “Just a moment Major,” he addressed the room “It’s just been pointed out to me, that per historical and artist record that Lady Gift Divine was a Pegasus.”

Twilight nodded “Records say she was descended from Commander Hurricane.”

Written Script continued “So for the sake of historical accuracy I suggest that Lady Gift Divine be Miss Sassaflash.”

The room erupted, the mares protested. Flash barked out an order “SHUT UP!”

Written shook his head and nodded “Thank you Captain.” He turned to Twilight “Do you agree with this Princess?”

“Well,” she paused “I don’t exactly understand why Sassaflash specifically, but since she is the only Pegasus to volunteer for the part I see no reason not to.”

“Thank you.”, Sassaflash looked between the two and smiled “And thank you both.”

Thunderlane sighed “Well, since that seems to have been sorted out I think we can call it a day.”, he and the girls left, still slightly put off.
Twilight stood up and both she and Flash started to leave. The Major walked up “Excuse Captain, I original came to explain myself about yesterday.”

“Very well, follow us.”, the Major nodded and called Porter over and they left.

Written Script went further into the hall leaving Caramel and Sassaflash alone. Caramel spoke “Was this what all that with Mr Script was about?”, she nodded.

“Why was he calling you my dear?”

“It’s short for my dear friend. We were in the same class at school.”

“And the reason why you’ve been see him was over this Lady Divine business?”, she nodded again “I wanted to be in the procession.”

“Why?”

“When I heard, you were going to be Morris Dancing, I knew I wanted to be involved to, but as a surprise for you.” She sighed “I guess I should have thought better.”, he nodded “I, thought you were being…”

“Unfaithful? Caramel, what kind of a mare do you think I am.”, he grimaced at her yelling, he shut his eyes and braced himself for the break up. Then he felt a hug. He opened his eyes and immediately met hers, she smiled and spoke “I love you Caramel, your goofiness, your cute forgetfulness, but don’t forget this, I love you.” She rubbed her nose onto his and giggled. He smiled and returned the hug “Love you too Sass.”, she giggled again.

The Case of the Tin Soldiers

After the Mayday celebrations, the folk of Ponyville found themselves in a busy summer.

One morning couple of weeks after Mayday Big McIntosh came into the town with a cart full of apples ready for market. He could just about squeeze between the houses making up the narrow streets with his load.

But he didn’t expect something of a traffic jam in the middle of the village. Cipher as usual after acquiring it left his auto-magic cart parked outside the Post Office, but some-pony else left a peculiar vehicle on the side of the road.

This, thing, looked like a small railway engine, with a smokebox sticking out of the front with a tall outward tapering funnel sitting on top of two small wheels connected to a pair of chains. Behind the smokebox, a pair of pistons and an array of rods, cracks and a large flywheel. Then the enclosed cab with levers, gauges, chains and large wheel with a handle. The back simple a flat bed with three guard rails able to be pulled down. Underneath a larger pair of wheels and thick chain wrapped around a cogwheel. Around the machine lamps and works of gleaming brass and copper.

Big Mac carefully threaded himself through the two. He then looked back as far as he could on the Post Office side to see if he could get the cart through, “Yep.” He stepped forward a couple of trots. Looked to the other side, he inched forward. The edge of the cart hit the front wheel of the steam engine “Nope.” He backed up and inches sideways slightly. Trotted forward. Hit the front of the Post Cart, “Nope.”, he looked at the other side, and then he sighed, now well and truly stuck.

Trotting came from down the street and he looked up. From around the corner lightly trotted a cerise mare with a trio of smiling flowers for a cutie mark.

Big Mac grinned, Miss Cheerilee, not only a closest friend of his, and admittedly a mare he held a crush over ever since his teenage days, and his sort of friend, neither really talked much since the Hearts and Hooves Day with the Love Poison, and with other concerns in his relationship department. Not only a close friend but also a very smart mare, a school teacher needed to be.

She smiled at him and stopped “Good morning Big Mac.”

“Morning.”

“Nice weather.”

“Yep.”, Cheerilee then glanced at the lack of space between the two vehicles and the width of the apple cart. She looked back at him “Are you stuck Big Mac?”

He nodded “Yep.”, she frowned “Well, I need to get to the schoolhouse. Where’s Cipher, he and Riolu left before I did.”, she walked about the street and called out several times “Cipher?”

The door to the Post Office opened and Muffins walked out “Sorry but Cipher’s doing to village rounds, he’ll back soon.” She then went inside before returning with a basket “Muffin?”

Cheerilee smiled and shrugged before taking two. She gave one to Big Mac “Care for one?”

“Yep.” He took it in his hoof.

Cheerilee took a bite and swallowed “Well, if Cipher isn’t here then maybe we should move that, whatever it is? Does any-pony have any idea what it might be, or who owns it?”

“Nope.”

“Sorry, I didn’t see it until coming out here.” Muffins then re-entered to Post Office.

The beating of wings filled the air, which got stirred as well as Rainbow Dash landed “This looks serious, has there been a crash?”, Cheerilee shook her head and started to look annoyed “Well, there will be if some-pony doesn’t move that, thing.”

Rainbow Dash walked up to it “What in Celestia’s name is this? Looks like it should be on the rails not in middle of Ponyville.”

Big Mac raised a hoof “We can’t do anything till either Cipher or whoever owns that arrives.”, Rainbow Dash blinked “I think that first time I’ve heard you say a proper sentence unassisted.”

Big Mac pounded before saying “Yep.”, Cheerilee rolled her eyes “We need some-pony like Flash or Dauntless.”

From behind the apple cart a steady beat of hooves and slight clatter sounded. It stopped before some-pony called “Now then, now then, what’s all thing?” The helmeted head of Dauntless Doo appeared in the gap between the apple cart and the steam engine. “What’s going on? You can’t block the road like this you know.”

Cheerilee sighed, she said Dauntless and he appeared, she then firmly stated “Big Mac’s stuck.”

“Yep.”

“And he didn’t do it on propose.”

“Nope.”, Rainbow nodded “Between that, thing and Cipher’s cart.”

They all then started talking at once, well, Cheerilee and Rainbow Dash did, Big Mac added the occasionally “Yep,” and “Nope.”

The Everfree Guard Unicorn meanwhile reared up and inched, with is back to the wall, beside the unknown vehicle. Once on the other side and back on his four hooves he called for silence “Wait a minute, wait a minute.” He calmed slightly “Now then,” he looked up “Hello, that lamp’s damaged.” He muttered tapping it. He then addressed the group “Now then, let’s get things sorted out. Who does this contraption belong to?”

Cheerilee rolled her eyes again, this would probably take a while.

Cipher meanwhile hummed as both he and Riolu hurried through the village with the letters in his saddle bag. While Cipher checked the addresses and the letters Riolu attacked like a guard dog. News of his ability to physically harm Discord gave the pup a slightly fearsome reputation, and he could be easily riled, especially if some-pony lied in front of him, or tried attack Cipher.

After Cipher put another letter through the slot on the door, a soft shout, an oxymoron yes, but it was the best she could muster, called him, he turned around and his heat beat a little faster, Riolu gave a happy bark.

Fluttershy fluttered towards them, she smiled “You’re becoming forgetful.” She showed him a small box wrapped in brown paper and string “You left last night after our little tea party together and you forget the box of tea bags I got for you at the market.”

Yesterday being a Sunday meant Cipher didn’t have any post to deliver and so decided to spend the time helping Fluttershy with her animals, then they would spend the evening having tea.

She gave the box over “Special delivery.”, they chuckled and Cipher looked at it “Just like a parcel. I’d better not put them in some-pony’s letterbox by mistake.” He further examined it “You’re very good at wrapping Fluttershy.” He put it in the saddle bag “A lot better than some parcels we get through.”

She smiled, but with a faint blushed “Well if you do you can always come to the cottage.”, she took off slowly and waved “Bye.”, he waved as well “Bye, and thanks.”

Back at the traffic jam, the group still didn’t know anything about the mysterious engine and so tried to manoeuvre Big Mac so the apple cart could get through.

Dauntless, reared up, directed the larger stallion with his hoof “Left a bit, come on. Now over to your right. Stop! Left again. Now a little to your right. Straight now, straight. Stop! That’s it, hard over now.”

Big Mac grumbled ‘Left he says, then right. I wish he’d make up his mind.’

“Keep to you’re right.” Dauntless called “Back up a little.”, Big Mac didn’t stop in time and hit the wheel of the steam engine. Dauntless tutted “Back again. Come straight on.”, beside the Royal Guard Member Cheerilee shook her head “He’ll never get through there. Big Mac stop. Over to the left, mind the cart.”

Rainbow then joined in “Come on Big Mac. Stop! Back up. Hard on your left. Stop! You’ll have to go back again. Now hard over to your left. No! No!”

Just behind the odd vehicle Major Fields, Porter and Doctor Time Turner watched the proceeding, the Major chuckled “What have we here?”, the doctor shook his head “You can’t leave the place five minutes and look at it.”

Rainbow continued “Back a little. Now hard over to your… Whoops! Mind the cart! No right. Right I said!”

After the last set of orders Big Mac finally sat down on his flank, his hooves went to his muzzle “You all got me confused. I’m staying put until some-pony move that steam engine.”

Time Turner inched his way along the driver’s side “Hang on a minute.” He opened to door to the cab and clambered in “I’ll give you a hoof.” He shut the door.

Cheerilee blinked “This is yours Time Turner?”

“It’s my latest invention, ever since I got my cart stuck in that mud puddle and Miss Gabriella had to push me out I tried thinking of something which wouldn’t get stuck in mud or, say snow. I know I can’t operate an auto-magic cart, since I don’t have the right magic, so I had to think of an alternative. Miss Heartstrings mention about something called a Lorry and thus I built this.”

The Major inched himself between the Lorry and the apple cart and stopped at passenger door and Porter climbed onto the back with a bunch of building material. The Major spoke “So sorry every-pony. Doctor Turner’s giving us a hoof down at the hall. He’s test running the Lorry.” He opened to door and climbed in “First traffic jam in Ponyville. How embarrassing. We’ll soon be off.” He said shutting the door.

Cipher and Riolu walked up onto the scene “Good morning every-pony.”

The Major called over “Just a word Cipher?”, the Changeling came closer and the Major whispered “Urgent parcel coming from Canterlot. Bought these tin soldiers for my collection. Now take good care of it, there’s a good chap.”

Cipher smiled “Don’t worry Major. I’ll see you get it safe and sound, the way you always do.”

“Good fellow.”, Time Turner muttered “Water level’s alright. Dampers opened. Pressure up. Gears set. Regulator a bit open. Off we go.” He pulled the whistle cord, any-pony in the way quickly edge to the walls as the odd machine lumbered down the road, shuddering and chuffing.

Big Mac stood up, at last about to get on his way, he started following behind. He smiled at Cheerilee as he passed. She smiled back, once the large Apple stallion disappeared she moved off in the other direction, followed by Rainbow Dash. Cipher walked into the Post Office. Leaving Dauntless Doo and Riolu with the road to themselves. The Everfree Guard member thought ‘I’ll need to report this the Captain Sentry, then Princess Twilight and Mayor Mare can work out parking laws in the village.’

Inside the Post Office Cipher helped Muffins sort the rest of the letters and parcels. The Post Minister she suffered strabismus for, well, she couldn’t remember when she did, it developed over a year or two as a young filly, having gone through a failed corrective surgery as a pre-teen filly, she did oddly find it useful in her only special way, she could hold up two letters and read the addresses at the same time. Of course, most of the suffers of strabismus she’d meet couldn’t do something like that. She could straighten her eyes but she always felt more comfortable with them unaligned, even if she did end up bumping into things.

As she finished with the letters she discovered two parcels without addresses. She looked around and found a label which must have come unstuck, the tutted “This new glue, the labels keep coming off.” She looked between the two “Now which one does this label go on?”

Cipher scratched his head “I think it’s off that one.” And he pointed to the one on his left and Muffin’s right. Muffins narrowed her eyes but stuck the label on “But that leaves one without an address.”

“Don’t worry.” Cipher said filling his saddle bag “As soon as some-pony askes ‘Where’s my parcel?’ I’ll know it must be theirs. Simple.”

Muffins smiled “I never thought of that.” She gave him the parcels “Bye Cipher. Mind how you go.”

“Bye.” He walked out the door, shutting as he left and went to his cart and got him “Now Riolu, we’d better deliver the Major’s parcel first, it’s something important.”, the Jakhowl nodded. Cipher charged his horn and the cart roared into life. He took the reins and flicked them, the cart moved. Using to reins to steer he guided the cart out of the village and out into the countryside surrounding it the settlement.
Driving on the roads of Ponyville proved a really crash course, sharp bends and small hills, you could easily crash. Riolu acted as a lookout, although sometimes he could be a backseat, or in this case and passenger seat driver.

They stopped at a junction and looked both ways, nothing came from either side so Cipher turned left. He followed the road straight, he could see Sweet Apple Arches in the distance as he saw the large estate of Kimblewick Hall appeared before him. He then reached the gates and turned into the driveway.

The front of the stately and ancient manor house loomed over the cart. However, the scaffolding and ladders on the left side tarnished its imposing appearance.

Cipher climbed down “Won’t be long Riolu.” He gazed up at the web of metal “Looks like the Major’s busy.” He walked to the door and pulled on the bell cord, the muffled ring echoed behind the large wooden door. After a moment of nothing Cipher pulled the cord again. He shifted on his hooves and hummed to himself.

Still nothing happened, Cipher frowned ‘I could have sworn the bell was working?’ he knocked and the door creaked open making him flinch “Whoops.” He peered into the entrance hall and heard the ticking of the clock “Um? Any-pony in?” No-pony replied.

“Hello? Major? Major Fields? Mr Porter?”, slowly he walked in “Uh, any-pony at home?”, again silence. Cipher gingerly shuffled towards the small cabinet sitting in one of the corners ‘I’ll leave the parcel here. I’ll be safe.” He placed it on the cabinet and turned to leave.

A thump! Sounded. Cipher looked to one of the closed doors, the sound must have come from there being muffled ‘What’s that?’, he waited. Silence filled the hall once more. Cipher shrugged ‘I must be imagining things.’ And he walked out, and shut the front door.

Outside Cipher glanced around ‘Where is every-pony?’ He trudged over towards the ladder, look up to see if any-pony stood atop it before walking under it and glanced around at the toolbox and the scattered tools. Cipher shrugged ‘Must be having a tea break.’ He turned to the cart and found Riolu asleep. Starting up the cart woke him up, and they proceeded around the circular driveway and out the gates. He turned right and went back the way he came to get back to his regular route for the rounds.

After passing Sweet Apple Arches they found a field, Cipher smirked and looked to Riolu “Just the place to have a picnic lunch for you and tea break for me.”, Riolu gave a happy bark at the idea. He stopped the cart and the two climbed out. Cipher went to the back of the cart and levitated a basket. They then trudged up a small hill “Under that tree will do nicely.” He put the basket down and then sat down himself.
He took the cloth cover off and sorted his way through the assortment of things in the basket, he pulled out a bowl of dog food, then a bone and an apple “Tuck in Riolu.”, the Jakhowl licked his lips and started chopping down his lunch.

Cipher took out a portable kettle, a canteen of water and the box with the tea bags. He untied the string and folded opened the brown paper. He opened the box and stared at a bunch of toy soldiers, armoured ponies with instruments, sitting in it “Oh no!”, Riolu, chewing on the bone, apple and meat already down his gullet, looked up.

Cipher levitated one of the tin figures out “The Major’s toy soldiers, how did they get in there?” he blinked “We must have gotten the labels mixed up. My box of tea is in Kimblewick Hall.”, he put the toy back in his box, and the box and the tea equipment back in the basket. He stood up “Come on Riolu, back to the Major’s, he’ll be think his soldiers have deserted him.” Riolu took the basket and they returned to the cart.

Down at Kimblewick Hall Porter tried to comfort the Major. Dauntless Doo meanwhile walked about the house with a notebook and pencil levitated by his magic. He looked down at the ground and trod carefully.

A horn sounded, they looked towards the gates as Cipher’s cart rolled in. The Changeling Post-stallion climbed down and approached them with an unwrapped parcel in his magic “Anything the matter?” he asked, “What’s going on?”

The Major looked half saddened and half angry “We’ve been robbed. That’s what’s the matter Cipher. My collection of soldier gone! Funny thing though, the crook left a box of tea bags behind.”

Cipher sighed and explained about the mix up.

Upon hearing his latest additions to the collection survived the Major brightened up “Cipher, you a genius! The best of the bunch safe, good fellow.”

Cipher smiled at the praise, he feed on the emotions the Major gave off. But then the mouth felt dry “I’ll just pop in for my tea.”
However, before he could enter Dauntless stopped him “I must ask you for a statement, and you can’t go in there, not until we’ve looked for any hoof-prints.”

“But I want my tea.”

“That tea is evidence now.” He wrote some more notes “No-pony can touch them, not until Captain Sentry and the Princess come and Celestia only knows when that’ll be.”

Cipher sighed and returned to the cart ‘Looks like I’ll have to take Fluttershy offer after all.’, as he left the Major called “Goodbye Cipher and thank you.”

Cipher went back through town and turned onto the road past Carousel Boutique and to Fluttershy’s Cottage. He stopped the cart next to the small bridge. He and Riolu walked to the door “I just hope Discord isn’t visiting today.”

The Spirit of Chaos became a little exuberant in meeting Fluttershy recent. Most likely due to the Council of Friendship going to Bridle City Port to help in the aftermath of the great fire there. And now Discord wanted to make up lost time, since it happened on the day of the pair’s weekly tea sessions. Not to mention Fluttershy would be going to Bridle City Port again, for some reason Princess Celestia decided to be there for the Summer Sun Celebration instead of Canterlot.

He knocked on the day “Just a minute.” The soft muffled voice said. The door opened and Fluttershy’s eyes widened, before she smiled “Oh, Cipher do I have any letter?”

“No actually.”, she smirked “You didn’t mail the tea by mistake?”

“Well, yes and no.”, then explained about the labels and then the robbery at Kimblewick Hall. Riolu didn’t listen, too occupied by his bone.
Fluttershy put the tray with the tea down and sat down with a sad expression “Oh dear, who would want to steal the Major’s toy soldier?”
“Well, the ones I saw in the parcel looked to be high quality hoof-made, and the parcel came from Canterlot, so they must be expensive. Or the robbers want to melt them down for the tin.”

“That’s terrible, I hope the Major’s okay.”

“He was pleased when I gave the new soldiers to him.” He finished his tea “I’ll have to be on my way, I’ve still got a lot of letters to deliver, robbery or no robbery.”

She gave him a sad smiled “Okay, she you soon.”

“Bye.”, the Changeling Post-stallion and the Jakhowl walked out and back to the cart.

Out on the country road they found Scootaloo with a couple of tools and a disassembled scooter. Cipher stopped and looked down at the filly “Having trouble?”

“Hello Cipher, yeah I am. The front wheels of my scooter fell off, the jolt nearly threw me over the handle bar.”

“I’ll ask Doctor Time Turner to come along with his tool kit.” He reached into his saddle bag and pull out a magazine and passed it over with his magic “Here’s something to read while you wait.”, she smiled widely “Great my comic book. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He flicked the reins and trundled off.

Cipher called at Sweet Apple Arches.

Applejack help load some wood onto Time Turner’s Lorry, they stopped when Cipher stopped, Applejack waved “Howdy Cipher.”
“Hello Applejack, a couple of letters from you.”

“Why don’t you come inside and have some apple juice?”

“I am a bit thirst, had a rushed tea break.”

“Busy?” she said as they entered followed by Time Turner. They entered the kitchen where Granny Smith was baking a pie, she turned and smiled “Howdy Cipher.”

“Good afternoon Granny Smith, Applejack offered me some apple juice, where do keep it?”, Granny Smith showed him.

Applejack took a glass of cider “What’s this about there being robbery at Kimblewick Hall?”

Cipher told them the whole story from the beginning again. Then about his impromptu tea with Fluttershy.

Applejack smirked “You seem mighty happy when talking about Fluttershy.”, Granny and Time Turner chuckled. Cipher blushed “We can relate to each other as introverts. Not to mention she was the first of you Council members I meet, and Riolu gets very happy when we see her.” He took a sip of his juice then blinked and turned to the doctor “I almost forgot with this talk about the robbery. Scootaloo’s stuck with her scooter, she’s broken down about a mile back. Do you think you could give her a hoof Doc?”

“No trouble. I’ll pick her up after we’ve loaded the wood.”, Cipher nodded and went to the door “Thanks for the juice, goodbye.”
“See you Cipher.” Applejack called as he shut the door. Back on the cart he resumed his rounds.

He took a right turn at a fork in the road, his next stop, the North-Eastern Windmill and the Millers, Windy and his wife Dotty from the Griffish Isles. As he entered the yard to the chicken farm he met Dauntless Doo coming out. Cipher stopped and looked at the Everfree Guard-pony “Any news of the robbery?”

“Good news and bad news. The robbers were caught on the train to Baltimare. But there’s no sign of the collection of toy soldiers.”, Cipher sighed and nodded “Bye for now.” He flicked the reins and slowly rolled into the yard.

Cipher carried a magazine for Windy Miller. Getting out of the cart Cipher set out to find him.

The sails of the Windmill turned with an odd series of sounds, a ratchet rattle, followed by a couple of clunks and the twang of a spring before the rattle started again and the entire rhythm repeated.

Cipher ventured out passed a wall, he looked about not seeing Windy anywhere.

“Looking for me Cipher?” a voice from behind said. Cipher jumped and turned around. Windy, with his black conical hat over his short blond mane and a red necktie around his neck, stood behind the wall.

Cipher breathed out “You frightened the life out of me Windy,” he then chuckled “I thought the robbers where after me.” He walked up and passed the magazine over “Here’s you Hen Farmer’s Weekly.”

“Thanks Cipher.” He jumped over the wall and told Cipher about his dream last night about being chased by a giant hen which flew away just before he woke up, Cipher chuckled “I think you should see a psychiatrist. Anyway, it’s time I was flying away.” He looked at the empty passanger seat “Where’s that pup got to?”

Windy pointed back the way they came “He might be chasing rabbits down the field, he likes the rabbits in my fields does your Riolu.”, Cipher chuckled “We better not tell Fluttershy.”, of course he only joked, he knew Fluttershy understood the circle of life and the need of some animal to be carnivorous, heck Harry the Bear, one of her favourite animals ate fish.

Anyway, the pair walked into the field and called out for Riolu. Windy scratched his head “He sometimes comes around here, no sign of him though.”, the ventured on.

Cipher went into a hilly area and heard a muffled and echoed bark. Cipher looked around the hill and found Riolu, his leg, rear end and tail stuck out of a rabbit hole. Cipher called Windy over, the miller chuckled “I think he’s got himself stuck.”

Cipher took hold of his animal companion as gently as he could and pulled. He ended pulling with so much force the Jakhowl’s head popped out and the pair tumbled down the hill.

Windy surveyed the hole. Something small but heavy rolled onto the grass. Windy picked it up and examined it.

Cipher brushed himself off “What’s Riolu found?”, Windy showed him the painted figure “Looks like one of those tin soldiers, I used to have a box full of them when I was a colt, could do with a clean.”

Cipher raised an eyebrow with a grin “Did you say a tin soldier?”

“Yes why?”, Cipher walked up to the hole giving Windy a confused look “The robbery, you much have heard. Hang on.” He knelt at the hole and charged his horn, which his magic he pulled out a bag, he looked inside and smiled at what he found “Riolu found the loot. The robbers must have hidden them on their way to the train station. They must have taken the hoof-path through your gate Windy.”

The miller nodded and looked to Riolu “Clever canine.”, Cipher chuckled “I must get this collection back to the Major, he will be pleased.”, he trotted to the van and both he and Riolu clambered aboard. Cipher put the bag at Riolu’s feet “Keep an eye on them will you Riolu?”, the Jakhowl gave a determined bark. Cipher started the cart and they quickly left the Miller’s Farm. Windy gave Cipher a cheerful goodbye, which Cipher politely returned.

As they drove along Cipher spoke “Never mind about the rabbits Riolu, the Major will be so pleased to have his soldiers back, I’m sure he’ll give you something nice. Jakhowl nodded with a grin.

They turned left, passed the schoolhouse, Miss Cheerilee just exited and gave a wave. Riolu waved back. Going through the town again he turned right.

Kimblewick Hall at last. The Major currently gave Porter and Time Turner instructions. The three of them looked as the post cart rolled into the driveway.

Cipher parked next to the Lorry.

The Major turned to the two others “What’s the fellow doing back here again?”

Cipher climbed down and trotted up “Special delivery Major.”, Major Fields narrowed his eyes “What in scruffy bag.”, Porter took the bag with his magic and opened it, then levitated one of the contents. The Major’s eyes widened and he smiled “By Celestia! My soldiers!” he laughed “My precious soldiers! Thank you, Cipher, you’re a first-class fellow.” He chuckled and turned to Porter “First-class fellow, hey Porter.”

Porter gave a smiled chuckled “Very good sir.”

Cipher told the whole story yet again “…but it was Riolu who found them.”

Time Turner nodded “It’s a good place to hide something. Down a rabbit hole, now who would think of looking there?”

“We’d better be off home.” Cipher said. Time Turner took a newspaper from the lower scaffold platform “Take this with you. And make sure you look at page two.”

“Um? Thank Doc, I will.” He returned to the cart confused. He started it up and rolled out of the driveway when and onto the road home.
Riolu took the paper and read it. His eyes widened and he showed Cipher. In the Ponyville Express the Major offered a reward for any-pony who found his soldiers, five-hundred bits.

“Well I never,” Cipher said before he chuckled “That’ll by a lot of bones for you Riolu.”, the Jakhowl gave an overjoyed bark, yip and woof. Cipher chuckled “Let’s stop by at Fluttershy’s and tell her the news.”, Riolu nodded happily.

Author's Note

For the design of the Lorry I was inspired by the Foden company's creations like the one picture below.

Fixing a Hole

Down in the Ponyville Schoolhouse Miss Cheerilee showed the colts and fillies in class a model volcano. “Just think children, of all that rock bubbling and bursting underground.”

“You’d get your hooves hot.” Spoke up Dinky Doo.

“No, you wouldn’t.” First Base replied “You could wear boots.”

Miss Cheerilee giggled “It was a long time before boots were invented First.” She opened the model up showing the insides. At the bottom, brighter colours like yellow representing the hot rock layers then darker and larger layers going up, the spout of the volcano consisted of black rock and going up the middle a line of red. Cheerilee continued “The volcanos made our lovely Everfree hills long before any ponies existed never mind boots. Great holes in the ground with rock oozing out like toffee.”

A colt named Lickety Spilt looked up “Did you say toffee? I like toffee.”

Cheerilee giggled “I said it was like toffee, because it was all oozing. And I happened so long ago it was even before the dinosaurs came.”

Petunia Paleo looked up surprised at this. She specialised in, as she correctly pointed out to her parents, palaeontology, the study of ancient fossils, she’d already made a name for herself after digging up a complete skull of a rare dinosaur right in the family backyard.

Cheerilee finished “You can all do a lovely picture when your next here, for open day.”

The bell rang and Cheerilee smiled “But it’s home time now.”

Quickly the children took out from under their desk, their notebooks and textbooks, pencils and paper.

As they filed out of the school Cipher walked up, the foals greeting him and he did likewise. He stepped into the schoolhouse “Afternoon Cheerilee.”, his next-door neighbour smiled “Good afternoon Cipher, come for some lessons?”, the Changeling nodded, then he glanced back at the foals “I’ve wanted to ask this for a little while. Why is it you have different foals in class on different days?”

“Oh, well, because of the large number of foals in Ponyville we can’t have all of them together, also, I give my student days when they are meant to focus on either getting or perfecting the special talent of their cutie marks.” She smiled “The Cutie Mark Crusaders are among the most prolific in that assigned task.”

Cipher grinned and nodded “Oh, I know about those three. Twilight’s been try to convince them to try and get me a cutie mark, I mean I can understand why, her sources say Changelings share a common ancestor with both Crystal and Equestrian Ponies, and both groups have cutie marks, not to mention Zecora says Zebras get them to, but not Donkeys or Mules, or so Cranky keeps on saying.”

Cheerilee giggled “Well I’ll wish them good luck. So, anything you wish to know about specifically?”

“No, I’ve leave this one-to-one in your capable hooves.”, she nodded and pulled out a book “Let me see, what did we do last time.”, she glanced up and saw Cipher examining the model, she grinned “Do you want to learn about volcanos?”

Cipher shrugged “It definitely looks interesting.”, the teacher smiled.

The next morning it seemed very quiet in the village, apart from the trundle of wheels from Cipher’s cart as he steered it through the narrow streets wide enough for it. He and Riolu already finished with the letters of the village itself and now they went to the Post Office to collect the letters of the outlaying homes.

As he approached the Post Office he spotted Parcel Post quickly exiting and galloping away.

When he entered the Post Office, Muffins stood at the counter sorting the letter, but she looked very concerned. Cipher walked up “What was Parcel doing here?”, the previous Post-stallion usually stayed at home taking care of his bees.

Muffins sighed “Oh dear, well, Parcel came here on the request of Dauntless, to give Captain Sentry, Princess Twilight and Mayor Mare urgent news, but he decided to tell me so I could tell you.” She paused and scratched her head “Are you follow?”

Cipher nodded and do Muffins continued “It seems there’s a great big hole in the middle of the road, near the North-Eastern Windmill.

Dauntless says it’s big enough to swallow a cow!”

Cipher gave an annoyed smile, as he worked with Muffins every day, Sundays excepted, he quickly got to know how her husband, Dauntless Doo of the Everfree Guard, acted “I know what that means. Road closed, diversions, cone and bollards all over the place. How does he think I’m going to get through with all these letters and parcels? I wish you would speak to him about this, the slightest bit of trouble and he closes half of Ponyville. Talking about holes in the ground, Cheerilee taught me a bit about volcanos and earthquakes.”

Muffins giggled “Yeah, Dinky told us about them too last night. But I don’t think it’s something like that, it’s just a hole in the road.”

Cipher chuckled to levitated the letters and parcels “We’ll manage somehow, bye for now.” He opened the door with a hoof and Muffins called back “Bye Cipher.”, he shut the door and walked to the cart. He put the post into the back of the cart and shut the back doors, then went to the front and talked to Riolu “I wonder if dinosaurs got letters?” he clambered up and chuckled “And what did dinosaur dogs look like?”, he started the cart up and flicked the reins “A bet they eat some huge bones, hey Riolu?”

They headed out of through the village and towards the Windmill, usually his first stop on his cart rounds.

On the way, the met Windy Miller, the pony who owned and operated the North-Eastern Windmill, out with his cart of flour bags and boxes of eggs.

Cipher stopped to talk “What do you think about this hole in the road Windy?”

Windy frowned “What hole? I’ve seen none. I’ve been delivering the eggs and flour since early morning.”

“There’s a great big hole just outside your Windmill, Dauntless Doo’s shut the road off.”

“Oh dear,” said Windy “How I am going to get home? I’d best be off.” He started walking again “Cheerio.”

“Bye.” And Cipher started on his way again.

He turned on a country lane and went over a bridge to the other side of Ponyville. Stopped at a junction, both he and Riolu checked if anything came from either side of the road, making sure nothing did he turned right. They kept a careful look out, just in case any new hole appeared and no-pony reported yet.

He stopped at another junction ready to go left to the Windmill, he looked to the left and sighed “Oh dear.”

Before him stood a barrier of cones and poles with a circular sign, an arrow on it pointed right, below it a rectangular sign saying “Diversion.” Cipher read out “So we can’t go our usual way. Well, must follow the signs I suppose. I know Dauntless and his diversions.” He steered the cart right and muttered “Every time it ends up me going to long way around.” He continued straight for a short while.

He reached another junction and stop surprised “Oh no.” He said looking at the barrier and arrow “Not another. And it’s going back the other way.” He steered left then after a shorter drive stopped again “What more diversions?”, the arrow this time pointed right, Cipher scoffed “They’re everywhere!”

Going along the third re-route Cipher started to really think about the right way from here to the Windmill, he remembered his usual route, and Muffins told him to have an alternative route just in case, but twice now he got forced to abandon the alternative ways, and now if he didn’t concentrate he would be lost.

He stopped “Here we go again,” now the sign told him to go left, he groaned a look to Riolu, the Jakhowl looked equally annoyed, “This is awful,” he turned the cart and continued his little rant “I’m getting dizzy having to go right and then left, then right again.”

He reached another junction, thankfully with no diversions visible ‘I should go straight on to get to Windmill,’ Cipher thought, however no road straight ahead existed, just fields, ‘Maybe if I go left. But I can’t’, the left road lead not the North-Eastern Windmill, but to the White Apple Farm, and no road from there went to the Windmill, go too far along there and you end up in the Diamond Dog Fields.

‘I could go right here.’, he followed this road but in the back of his head he felt an arising sense of Déjà vu.

Another diversion made him stop. Cipher looked around at the alternative route and blink then gave a sad smile “I’ve just spotted where we are Riolu. We’re right back where we started.”, the Jakhowl gave a small growl and slapped his paw onto his face.

The sound of trotting caught their attention and they looked back. Windy came up behind them. Cipher climbed down and motioned him to stop, when Windy did stop Cipher spoke “Don’t follow me, I’m lost.” He pointed to the sign “If you follow these signs you just go around in a big circle.”

Windy grimaced and shook his head “No, I can’t be bothered with all that. I have to get home and get me lunch.” He unhooked himself from his yoke and trudged up to the barrier “Let’s just shift this clutter out of the way.” He picked up the arrow sign and put it against the wall. Then he took down one of the pipes forming the barrier, and kicked a couple cones away, “No problem.” He reattached himself and pulled his wagon up the closed road.

Cipher got onto his cart and quickly followed. A barrier place just outside the yard of the North-Eastern Windmill stood. Windy went to have a look.

He joined Windy at the barrier and looked down. Windy blinked “Is this what all the fuss is about? It doesn’t look much to me.”, Cipher snorted in both annoyance and amazement “I used to have bigger holes in my legs,” he paused and looked at Windy meekly “before Thorax became King of course.”

Windy nodded and looked a back at the hole “A baby one.”, the hole, less than a foot in diameter at its widest and only couple of inches deep. And yet four hazard cones surrounded it.

The door the house built into the windmill opened and a Royal Guard Unicorn, levitating a cup of tea and saucer, walked out “Now then, now then. What going on there.”

Windy turned to see the approaching Unicorn “Look out here comes trouble. Dauntless Doo.”

“Come on lads,” Dauntless said stopping before them “you know this road’s closed, you must have seen the signs. I’m going to have to take your names and addresses. Can you hold my tea?”

Cipher took hold of the cup and saucer with his magic but then spoke “Don’t be daft Doo. We’re already at Windy’s address and I’m employed by your Mrs.”

Dauntless still pulled out his notebook and pencil with his magic “Never mind that. We have to do it properly.” He scribbled down some notes before looking at them “Now, how do you spell proceeding.” He looked at the at the pencil “You haven’t got a pencil sharper on you by any chance?”

Windy’s wife, Dotty Miller, born in Trottingham, walked out with tray on her back “Here we are, a nice fresh cup of tea.”

Cipher smiled and levitated it “Oh thanks Dotty. Just what we need.”

“Dotty?” Windy asked “Have got something to sharpen Dauntless’s pencil? Hang on,” he grabbed the notebook “Cipher if you could just hold this.”, Cipher did so, now carrying two cups of tea and a notebook. Dotty offered to carry them on her tray.

Windy turned to the Guard “And then Dauntless, pass your pencil to Dotty.”, Dauntless put the pencil on the tray. Dotty looked confused “But I’ve got nothing to sharpen pencils with.”, Windy looked at her “I thought you said…”

“All I did was bring out the tea.”

Meanwhile Cipher took his cup back and took a sip, he looked at Dauntless “I think there are two Es in proceeding, but is it a C or an S.”, he’d yet to master spelling in the Equestrian Alphabet.

Dauntless looked around “Has any-pony seen my notebook?”

Windy turned to the house “Let’s go home Dot.” And the two windmill ponies went inside.

Cipher chuckled and looked to Dauntless “I think it’s going around in circles like me and my cart.”

“Talking about that you’ve given me an idea. Now then, if we made everything go through Windy’s yard instead, we could probably…”, Cipher pretended to listen as he sipped his tea.

When Cipher called upon Rarity, she acted very strangely. She, with the help of Spike tapped the ground of her garden area and the area surrounding Carousel Boutique.

Spike heard the hoof-steps and looked up, and smiled “Oh, morning Cipher.”, the Changeling smiled back at the Hero of the Changeling, and King Thorax’s first true friend “Good morning Spike,” he turned to Rarity “Good morning Miss Rarity.” He pulled out a couple of letter while observing the fashionista still prodding the ground “You haven’t lost something, have you?”

Rarity looked at him with slight disapproval, she accepted Cipher as part of Ponyville and after talking with several ponies, like Twilight, Fluttershy and Cheerilee she trusted the Changeling as quite the gentle-colt, but sometimes he could be quite ignorant and rude. “Certainly not.” She said “I just talking precautions, holes you know, appearing without warning. Dauntless Doo told me all about it.”

Cipher chuckled “Oh I wouldn’t let it bother you Miss Rarity. It’s only a small hole in the road.” He gave her the letters “Bye for now.” He walked back to the cart when he felt a tap on his hoof, he turned seeing Spike standing beside him “What do you mean a small hole in the road?”

Cipher explained about Dauntless’s over-exaggeration, and then about the three-ring circus he made of the diversions. Spike facepalmed “Oh come on!” He sighed “That sounds like him. I’ll go talk to Twilight and Flash.”

Cipher nodded and returned to the cart.

After doing a few more stops, and taking a lot longer to do so, he reached Time Turner’s shop and workshop.

Time Turner currently loaded the Lorry, his steam-powered cart. Then he heard a bell inside his shop ring and went inside.

Cipher followed.

Time Turner looked walked about his shop. Clocks of every shape and size stood or hung from the wall, all ticking at an exact rhythm and him prefect sync, expect for those the doctor stood at “You’ve stopped?”, he wounded the mantelpiece clock up, then turned to another “And you’re running fast.”, he moved the minute hand back, the scowled at them “Really the minute my backs turned you start playing tricks.”

Cipher cleared his throat. Time Turner turned around “Oh, hello Cipher, running a bit late, aren’t you?”

Cipher nodded and looked about “But your clocks aren’t, however do you manage to keep them going.”

“Oh, it can be a challenge, but I’m up for a challenge.” He looked around the shop and start to sing “Clocks are like ponies… Clocks are like you and me… Each has its own personality… Big clocks, small clocks… Grandfather tall clocks… Cuckoo clocks, hall clocks… Mantelpiece and wall clocks… Clocks for the schoolroom… The kitchen and the nursery… Alarm clock to waken us… Urging punctuality… All of them chiming or whirring or clicking or cuckooing or ringing… Or tick-tock ticking…”, all the clocks reached the hour and chimed, Cipher held his ears.
Time Turner didn’t seem phased at all, he merely paused before starting the chorus again “Clocks are like ponies… Clocks are like you and me… Each has its own personality…”, he sighed and looked to Cipher “Was there something you wanted?”

Cipher nodded and put the letters and the parcel on the counter “Sorry I’m a bit later today. It’s this, blooming, hole in the road. I’ve had to go all around Ponyville to get here.”

Time Turner grinned “Thanks for reminding me.” He rushed out the door. Cipher followed.

A cuckoo clock started going on the blink and the bird fell off its perch. Time Turner returned to the door “You’ll just have to wait.”

The doctor returned to the Lorry and pushed one of the sides of the flatbed up, locked it into place and turned back “Just leave this to me, I’ll have that hole filled in no time.”, Cipher flew up slightly to look at what the Lorry carried. Time Turner explained “A bag of cement, a bit of gravel and some tar, that’ll sort it out. All leftovers from when the park pathway got repaved, I knew it would come in handy one day.”

“Brilliant.” Cipher said grinning. He returned to the cart and drove off to finish his rounds.

After delivering all the letters and parcels Cipher headed back to the Post Office.

He crested over a hill and decided to check how things went at the North-Eastern Windmill.

A whole new set of signs stood in the road, leading into a field, and through Windy’s yard. And in the yard stood Time Turner’s Lorry with the tail open.

Cipher climbed out the cart and looked about the yard. Riolu meanwhile headed for the kitchen.

Windy walked out from behind the Lorry looking both glum and annoyed “It’s like town square here.” He said “So many ponies with their carts passing through the yard. My poor hens, that’s if you can find them, poor things, they’ll not lay for a fortnight.”

A fast trotting and the clatter of wheels sounded, Windy sighed “Here comes another. Oh,” he recognised the cart and who sat in it as it got pulled along “It’s Filthy Rich.”

“Good morning,” the wealth business owner, a grey amber Earth Pony in a blue suit collar, with white shirt and red tie, called as they passed by. Cipher liked Filthy Rich, or Rich as he preferred, ever since buying Riolu’s basket from his shop Barnyard Bargains to two would be very polite, Rich knew Cipher as an occasional customer and one of the few ponies to know about Cipher’s position in the Changeling hive as a potential heir of King Thorax, and Cipher treated Rich like a casual friend, much like every-pony else, except for Fluttershy, she was truly Cipher’s best pony friend, they understood each other as introverts, and Sundays became their tea days.

Windy turned to Cipher “See what I mean Cipher? It’s terrible.”, Cipher sighed and patted Windy on the shoulder “You’ll be alright,” he said, “as soon as the Doc get that hole filled in.”

Not far from the yard Dauntless Doo directed the traffic. Behind him Time Turner with a trowel in his hoof smoothed the edges of tar of the newly filled in hole. Done he put the tool into the bucket of tar place out of the way.

“Come on,” Dauntless called “slowly as you go. Careful now.”, Filth Rich’s cart passed and once clear gathered speed and disappeared down the road.

“Tea’s made!” called Dotty from the kitchen door “And fresh biscuits. Straight from the oven.”

Time Turner smiled as he walked past Cipher and Windy “Just what I need, we’ll have a nice break while we wait for the tar to set.”, Cipher and Windy nodded and headed for the kitchen. Time Turner raised his hoof to his mouth and shouted “Are you coming for your tea Mr Doo? Mind the tar, will you?”

But something seemed to be keeping Dauntless. As the trio reached the door they heard a shout “Hey don’t leave me! Come back, help!”

Cipher turned back to the yard “Did I hear some-pony call for help? Sounds like Dauntless.”

Windy sighed “He’s not looking for his notebook, is he?”

Time Turner narrowed his eyes and tapped his hoof on his chin “He’s not gone and stepped in it, has he?”, the doctor and Cipher walked to where they left Dauntless and the hole. There they found Dauntless standing with all four of his Royal Guard armour horseshoes stuck in the tar. Time Turner pointed “What are you doing to my nice new tar?”, when Dauntless tried to pull himself out the doctor chuckled “Fast setting stuff that, a new kind you know.”

Cipher chuckled as well “You’ll have to take your horseshoes off and leave them in charge.”, the two knelt and undid them.

“Come on Dauntless.” Time Turner said “Off with your shoe. Don’t be shy”, first they pulled his forelegs out, Time Turner gave to command “One, two and lift.”, with the combination of Time Turners, while less than average Earth Pony strength, but still above average strength across all ponies, and Cipher magic they lifted Dauntless out of his shoes and held him in the air.

Windy came up behind with a wheel barrow “Time for a bit of farm transport.” He said, and both Cipher and Time Turner dumped Dauntless into the barrow.

As Windy slowly wheeled Dauntless toward the kitchen he yelled “Steady on. My shoes. What’s Captain Sentry going to say when he sees me undressed.”, Windy spoke next “Stay still or I’ll tip you over.”

Dauntless crossed his forelegs “Very undignified this, I’ll never live it down.”

Cipher meanwhile found a large piece of card and a large crayon. “I think we’ll need a new warning sign.” He wrote something on it and then placed it beside the hole and the lone standing shoe “There,” he read it out “Danger, Royal Guard Horseshoes.” He chuckled ‘Every-pony should see that.' He turned to the Windmill and walked to the kitchen door ‘I hope Dotty’s left some tea hot.’

Flash and Twilight landed just outside the Windmill yard and saw Cipher’s cart and Time Turner’s Lorry still parked in the yard.

Spike jumped down from Twilight’s back. They started looking around the yard when Spike call them over. He found the shoes stuck in the tar. Twilight read the sign and she narrowed her eyes “Is some-pony making a joke?”, but Flash laughed “If they are I actually think that’s pretty funning.” He sighed and turned to the house “But still we’ve got business to do. No doubt there in the house.”

She nodded “But we’d better be quick, he Dauntless’s shoes are ruined then we’ll have to order new ones before we go to the Summer Sun Celebration, we’re not going to be able to get those off the tar without damaging them.”

Flash nodded and they went to the door. Knocked. It open and before them stood a surprised Windy Miller, he bowed his head and motioned them inside “Dotty made tea and cookies, if you want some.”

Twilight smiled “That’s very kind of you Miller.”, they entered the kitchen and Dauntless reacted immediately. He virtually jumped out of his chair and saluted. Flash nodded. Dauntless gulp, when Flash Sentry nodded instead of saluted it meant trouble, probably for you.

Twilight took a cup from Dotty and sipped it. She then put it down and spoke “Spike told us about what you did with the signposts.” She narrowed her eyes, we’ve already suffered one military fool, I don’t want the Everfree Kingdom having its own.”

“Princess, that Bluenose thought he was in charge and thought he could do as he liked. I was airing of the safe side of things. You never know what a hole like that could do to a cart.”

Flash sighed “Maybe you should have reported it actual size instead of turning Ponyville into hysterics, and disrupting the post and almost blocking Windy Miller from his own home. Rarity roped Spike into checking for hole out the Boutique. And all because of a simple pothole, and thanks to your carelessness you’ve ruined a pair of Horseshoe, that’ll be coming out of your pay Doo.”

“Yes, sir.”

Flash narrowed his eyes “Go home Doo, your dismissed for the day.”

“Yes, sir.” And he walked out.

Cipher took a sip of his tea “Let’s hope that’s knocked some sense into Dauntless. Hopefully he won’t me a mountain out of a molehill.”
Time Turner shushed him “Don’t give him any ideas.”

Twilight looked to the him “Actually Doctor Time Turner, I could help but notice your, Lorry, was it?”, he nodded “Yes, my best invention thus far. It’s been very useful.” He took another sip “In fact, Major Field has asked me to use it as a transport vehicle for the Platoon, although he said if it proves too small I should build another to be kept on the Kimblewick Estate.”

Flash then spoke “Just make sure when you’re in the town to be responsible with your parking.”, the doctor nodded “Oh I’ve tried to. After that traffic jam, I’ve made sure to measure the gap between the Lorry and whatever may be parked in between.”

Cipher looked to him “Didn’t you say Miss Heartstrings gave you the idea for the name?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow “So the Lorry is something relating to Humans?”

The doctor shrugged “I’m not sure, I only partly listened while I repaired Bon Bon’s alarm clock, she told said something about these big and heavy vehicles used to haul goods called Lorries, so I thought about the idea and designed it.”

Twilight nodded “Can I have a look at it?”, Time Turner’s eyes widened slightly “Of course, just follow me.”, they got up and walked outside.

Cipher finished his tea and got up himself “I need to get back to the Post Office. Bye all.”

Dotty waved and said, “Bye Cipher.”

The Changeling walked out, climb on the cart, with a sleep Jakhowl beside him and after starting it, rolled on to the road and head back to Ponyville.

A Dreadful Change

Away from Ponyville in the Equestrian Capital of Canterlot events took place which would have a small effect on the future of the Everfree Kingdom, but no-pony knew it at the time.

The figures within this story will appear occasionally, between the other main player, and biggest player in this smaller story isn’t even a living being, but in fact the railway.

The central figures are the Waterbury Family. Your average middle-class Unicorn family, not any-pony who would appear constantly in the Equestria Daily or the magazine every-pony read, not like Photo Finish, Hoity Toity, Sapphire Shores or Fancy Pants and his mare-friend Fleur Dis Lee, and far too sensible to be featured in the Liverypool Street Herald, no they simple lived a happy life, in the background.

And in this happy but simple Canterlot life they did not have a real connection to the railway, nor did they really give the railway any thought, except as a means of getting to the theatre and zoo.

An ordinary suburban family.

They lived in an ordinary irony bricked fronted villa, with coloured glass in the door. Usually their dog Potts, named after a friend of their grandfather, from his time in the Royal Guard, would sit on the front step.

He would be let in and would walk along the tiled hallway.

The family would have big fires, in big fireplaces, even a gas fire in the breakfast room. A servant’s bell board. Indeed, every modern convince.

Three foals sat on a sofa before a camera, the photographer, a student of Photo Finish told them “Sit up!”, and they did. Two fillies and one colt. The photographer came over and began adjusting their special clothing and their manes and tail to make it picture prefect, a joke on his part, for he called his business Picture Perfect and Company Limited, Canterlot. Established 995, or at least the sign above his shop said so.

The Waterbury Foals are the most central to the story.

The eldest, coming close to her teenage years, Firelight Waterbury, often call Flame, sometimes Lanky, very tall for her age. And yet so far with her age, no cutie mark, but in Canterlot with its more elite mindset they didn’t encourage foals to simply run around and do practically anything, unlike in Ponyville.

The second eldest, the other filly, Autumn, she means well. Again, no cutie mark.

And the colt, Stone Waterbury, he does have a cutie mark, a shiny cogwheel surrounded by a cloud of steam, he knows it relates to engineering, but not quite sure what area.

The photographer returned to the camera “And don’t forget to watch the Dicky Bird.”, he referred to the wooden bird on the flash provider. He checked the image on the view screen and nodded. Held up the flash, with its small amount of firework pounder “Watch the birdy!”

FLASH.

He blinked and then shut his eyes grimacing as the bird caught fire and burned away. The foals laughed.

The mother, Scribble Waterbury, who wrote short stories as a hobby and sold a few to the magazine publications, devoted herself to her children. She did not spend all her time in paying on dull calls to dull mares and sitting dully at home waiting for dull mares to pay calls on her, she always spent time with her children.

Morals Waterbury, the father and patriarch of the household worked for Princess Celestia in the Foreign Office, around the time the story of the Waterbury family began he and his colleagues in the department worked on treaty between Equestria and the Reformed Changeling Kingdom, Princess Celestia chose her former student Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship to deliver it to King Thorax, accompanied by her assistant Spike the Dragon, the first true friend of the new Changeling King. But the work would time.

At home Mr Waterbury acted as a fun loving, enthusiastic stallion who loved every-pony of his household, wife, foals and staff. And he often spoke his mind and could be very loud indeed.

On the day, the events this story will detail started, the Heath’s Warning Day of 1002 of Celestia’s Rule, or CR for the family went to one of the smaller Canterlot theatres to see a play, not the tale of the Founding of Equestria, or the Health Warming Tale, important as they are the Waterbury family at the time found them rather tiresome, so instead they went to see a play adaptation of a children’s fairy story. Indeed, one of the Foals’ favourites, seeing it being performed or reading it became a Waterbury tradition many years before.

The main character spoke out to audience “Her lights going dim, and if it goes out that means she’s dead, she says she’ll get well again if foals believe in fairies.” Fairies in this case are simple made up based on ancient interpretations of Breezies.

The main character addressed the foals of the audience “Do you believe in fairies?”

“Yes.” They all spoke out.

“That’s not load enough. Do you believe in fairies?”

“Yes!”

“Still not load enough. Do you believe in fairies?”

“YES!”, the audience shouted. The Waterbury family sat in a theatre box directly next to the stage. The three foals and Mrs Waterbury sat at the front and Mr Waterbury stood behind them lightly sipping a glass of fine cider, after the audience shouted yes, he decided enough of the stalling on the actor’s part and shouted the loudest of all “YES I CERTAINLY DO!”

The theatre erupted into laughing cheers.

After the play the family returned home to enjoy their traditional family meal at lunchtime, a nut roast, and all the vegetable additions and a flaming pudding.

The meal became a real party, cracker and balloons, noisemakers, parlour games and merriment abounded with sensible chaos.
Mr Waterbury start carving and took in the scent and hummed in delight “Smells gorgeous, cooks really outdone herself this year, it’s fabulous, absolutely fabulous.”, the family took their drinks, cider and apple juice and toasted Equestria, a happy future, the Princesses, and of course themselves.

Potts, who wore a ribbon around his neck joined the cheers with a few barks.

Then the flaming pudding. Mr Waterbury gave the order “Although together. One, two, three.” The five of the family and the two maids blew together and the pudding no longer burned. Much rejoicing came out of this. Mr Waterbury laughed and clapped “Well done every-pony.”

After the meal, Firelight took some of the left overs and gave them to Potts, who gladly scoffed the bits down.

Then Mr Waterbury went to the tree. In keeping with a tradition from Scribble’s side of the family he dressed as Snowfall Frost to hand out the presents. Husband and wife embanked “Happy Hearths Warming.” They said together, kissed and presents exchanged. Mr Waterbury called Firelight and Autumn up, he gave Firelight a special dairy, and Autumn a new doll.

One of the maids passed by with the plates from the meal, onto which Mr Waterbury put her present, quite surprising her. Then Mr Waterbury gave the elder maid, Star with hers, which she curtsied with her thanks.

When they left, Mr Waterbury looked to his son “Stone my boy, come over here.”, Stone walked up slowly confused and wondering what his present would be.

Using his magic Mr Waterbury levitated a finely made toy train. The front of a steam locomotive, a tender engine, but without the tender, a 4-2-0, a four-wheeled bogie at the front, in the middle large pair of driving wheels, complete with outside coupling rods and motion, but no wheels under cab. The polished brass boiler shone in the multi-coloured light of the tree and the light from the roaring fire. The freshly painted cab looked spotless in its handsome livery of green with black stripes.

Stone too shocked to use his magic took it in his hooves. He stared down at it silently, then slowly looked up at this sire “Dad,” he whispered, tears formed in his eyes “its prefect. It’s more prefect than any-pony could ever dream of.” He glanced down at it again, returned to his father and gave a small smile “Thank you Dad.”

You would think the Waterbury family would be very happy, and you would be right, but they didn’t know how happy they themselves were, not until life in Canterlot came to an end, and they lived a very different life. A very different life indeed.

The dreadful change came quite suddenly.

Stone could not resist playing with his model, which worked exactly like a real steam locomotive. The model came with a straight length of track which took up the length of the nursery. Stone lit the firebox and after a few minutes the little engine started moving, and at quite a pace for a little thing. It made it about two-thirds up the track, then suddenly, gave an odd rattling sound and stop.

Steam started leaking out with a whistling hiss. The Foals backed to the wall. Potts looked nervous. The engine hissed again, and again.

BOOM.

Potts took off. He ran out the nursery door, down the stair and out the front door where the maids cleaned the hall. Star shouted, “You’re a heaving brute!”

Potts ran across the road, into the brushes and out of sight. The Waterbury family did not see hide or tail of poor Potts after that day.

Unaware of this the children showed the blown-up engine to their father. The brass and paint stained, the cab roof nowhere to be found, coupling rods seared from their cranks and one bent, the funnel cracked in place and almost ready to collapse. Stone held one brass part in his magic.

Mr Waterbury spoke his mind “What a wreck.” He gave a small chuckle and took the brass bit from stone to see where it fit, appearing to be from the top of the boiler, maybe the dome?

Stone spoke “Is there any hope?”

“Hope?” Mr Waterbury asked “Of course, it’ll want hope, and a new safety valve, I think. I’ll tell you what I give up Saturday afternoon to it,” he looked to Stone and his wife “And you can help me.”, Scribble looked surprised.

Outside the door as the snow fell two dark figures stood, one rang the doorbell. The other turned to the other and spoke in a hushed “I hate doing a job like this, especially at Hearth’s Warming.”, the other nodded.

The ringing of the bell caught the families’ attention. Mr Waterbury turned to them all “Who in the wide world is that? And Equestrian stallion’s house is his castle, but I do wish they’d build them with moats and drawbridges.”, they all chuckled and giggled.

A knock came at the door.

“Come in.”

The door opened and Star appeared from it “Please sir,” she curtsied “there are two gentle-colts wishing to see you. I showed them into the study sir, I hope that was alright.”, Mr Waterbury sighed. Put the model train on the table, excused himself from his family and left the room, Star glanced back at the family before leaving them and shut the door behind her.

Mr Waterbury slowly walked to the study, he entered and turned to look at his guest, his eyes widened and he quickly shut the door.

In the dining room Firelight spoke “I wish we did have a moat and drawbridge. Then if we did wont any-pony to…”

The loud arguing of Mr Waterbury stop her and they all looked to the door “What? Who are you? I’ve never heard it before. Where? Who?”

Stone looked to his mother “Why is Daddy shouting?”

Scribble frowned “I don’t know dear.”

A knock came from the door, Scribble called “Come in.”

Star entered again, Scribble asked “Yes Star?”

The head maid curtsied, but she looked very sad and unsure.

“What is it?” Mrs Waterbury asked.

“Please ma’am, the Master wants you to just,” she put on a smile “step into the study.”

Mrs Waterbury narrowed her eyes. She stood up and quickly exited the room. Star glanced back at the now lonely foals, said nothing and shut the door behind her.

Scribble slowly walked to the study, not knowing what to expect and wondering just why her beloved Morals would want her to join him, just who are these strangers on Heath’s Warming Day? As she approached she heard her husband speak again “Look I am not at all interested at anything you say, I haven’t done a thing.”, she stopped and gulped, before she knocked, Morals called to enter. She opened the door and walked in on the argument, her husband protested “I will not! Let me see the papers.”, her eyes widened at the scene and she quickly shut the door behind her.

The Foals leaned out of the dining room door tied to listen in the conversation, their father seemed quieter now, so whatever he said got muffled by the heavy wooden door. Firelight jerked her head to the other and they tip-hoofed out into the hallway and started hearing a little more.

“Preposterous!” their father shouted, “I’ve never heard of such nonsense.”

Firelight pointed to and curtained archway and they ran behind it.

“Lies!” Mr Waterbury yelled, a brief pause and he said “Oh, if you insist.”

The Foals leaned out of the corner and watched.

The study door opened and their father slowly and smartly walked out. He stopped at the coatrack and took off his coat. Their mother came out, closely followed by two Bat Ponies mares, from what the Foals knew Bat Ponies in Canterlot only worked in two professions, the Undertakers or Princess Luna’s Night Guard. What came up must be serious, but just how serious?

Mr Waterbury took his hat, kissed Mrs Waterbury on the cheek, put his hat on. Mrs Waterbury opened the door and Mr Waterbury between both Bat Ponies walked out into the coal snowy night.

To the foals the idea of a white Hearth’s Warming would have filled them with joy, but tonight, the snow did not look inviting and ready for fun, no it looked cold and harsh, and their father just step into it. The beat of hooves sounded, they must have taken a cab, but to where?

The Canterlot clock chimed.

Mrs Waterbury shut the door. She leaned back on it looked shocked, her coat turned a shade or two lighter.

The Foals slowly came out of their hiding place and walked up to her. Scribble stood straight and greeted them “Bedtime.” She said, “Star will put you to bed.”

Autumn protested “But you said we could stay up late, Daddy was going to play with us.”

Scribble Waterbury expression shank slightly “Your Father’s been called away on, on business. Go up at once darlings please.”

The Foals saw their mothers saddening state and did as told and started up the stairs. Firelight at the back stopped at the bottom and turned to her mother “Wasn’t bad news, was it Mummy? Is any-pony died?”, her mother looked at her and gave her a sad smiled “Oh, no, no-ponies died, I can’t tell you anything about it tonight. Up you go.”, Firelight said nothing before she went upstairs, not she knew whatever called her father away must have been truly important for two of the Night Guard to come and collect him personally.

After watching them go Scribble walked back to the study door and leaned on the ajar doorway and lowered her head.

Up in the fillies’ bedroom Star brushed Autumn’s mane “…ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine. One-hundred.” She patted her on the head. Autumn got out of the chair and climbed into her bed. Star turned out the light and walked to the door “Well, goodnight then.”
She left the bedroom and turned to go further upstairs when a whispered sounded “Star?”, she looked back as stone in his pyjamas walked up “What’s up?” he asked quietly. Star looked at him unimpressed “Ask me no questions and I tell you no lies.” She grinned “You’ll know soon enough.”

After an hour, and sure her Foals slept soundly Scribble entered the bedrooms and gave each of them a tender kiss.

Firelight however got woken up by a faint sob and the shutting of the door. She sat up and whispering called her sister “Autumn?”

“Yes?” she asked sleepily.

“If Mummy doesn’t want us to know she’s been crying, then we won’t know, that’s all.”

“Alright.” And the two tried to get back to sleep.

At breakfast the still didn’t get any answers. And in fact, their mother didn’t turn up either. When the foals asked Star simply said “She’s gone into Canterlot, that’s all I know. Now just you eat up.”

When the head maid left, Firelight spoke her mind “Some dire calamity is happening, I just know it.”

Mrs Waterbury returned late. She walked down the street dressed in her hat with her bag and parasol by her side.

The foals watch from the window.

She walked alone, and seemingly unaware of those around her, some-pony even tipped his hat in a greeting, which she, quite uncharacteristically ignored. Her eyes didn’t convey much, but her movement seemed very loose, like she could fall apart at any moment.
When she reached the gate, the foal rushed to the front door where one of the maids opened it for her, they greeted one another. Mrs Waterbury shivered “Oh, it’s so cold. Let’s get to the fireplace, come along.” And the family of four went to the breakfast room.
Inside and sitting next to the gas fire, Scribble explained the best she could “My darlings those Bat Ponies last night did bring very bad news and, you Father will be away for some time.”

Firelight asked, “Is it something to do with the government Mummy?”

“Yes,” Scribble nodded “yes, it is.” She looked at her pocket watch “Now it’s bedtime my darlings.”, sadly the foals got up before they left Scribble said, “Don’t worry, it’ll all come right in the end.”

Autumn replied, “Don’t you worry either because we’ll be as good as gold.” The three left and Scribble’s expression saddened, water gathered in her eyes.

Up in their bedroom Firelight and Autumn sat down and wondered “We used to say life was so dull and nothing ever happened like in books. Now something has happened.”

“Yes, it has. And it’s made mother unhappy.” Firelight stood up “Everything’s horrid, just horrid.”

Star grumbled as she climbed the many floors “Stairs, stairs, stairs.”

Everything continued to be perfectly horrid for some weeks.

Mrs Waterbury spent most of her time out of the house without the Foals.

The between maid, Sara, her name coming for the Saddle Arabian word for Princess, being originally born there from a military family. She got sent away. She cried profusely as Mrs Waterbury regretfully shook her by the hoof, kissed her on the cheek and gave her the suitcase. More tears burst as she stepped through the door.

And then, Mrs Waterbury’s elderly aunt, Whole Emerald, came on a visit. She came with have a dozen bags and cases, including a birdcage with a parakeet. Whole Emerald herself dressed in white finery with an umbrella and pith helmet.

Star looked quite surprised when she answered the door. Emerald said nothing to maid and simply stepped in and pointed to her luggage.

The Foals having heard the doorbells came to see what caused it, and were more pleasantly surprised at their grandaunt’s arrival.
Emerald looked about the hall and spotted her grandnieces and grandnephew at the turn in the stair, peaking through the banister staffs, she smiled “Good afternoon children.”

They smiled back “Good afternoon Aunt Emerald.” They stood up and descended the stairs, she explained “You’re Mother sent for me in her distress. And I’m here for a while, but not for long, I’m off to Saddle Arabia as a governess, and as I shall be busy preparing for my arduous journey I require you to be seen, and not heard, preferably to be not seen and not heard, children should be kept in their proper places, you understand?”

They nodded, the fillies curtsied and Stone bowed and they said together “Yes Aunt Emerald.”

“Excellent.” She grinned “You may kiss me, if you wish.” She leaned her winkled muzzle out expectedly, Stone’s nose scrunched up and glanced at his sisters.

Autumn looked back at Firelight and then to Aunt Emerald and gave her a small peck on the cheek.

In the kitchen, the cook stood on the table singing with a bowler hat on her head.

The foals joined in with the song using the kitchen utensil to make music.

Star opened the door and trudged in, she yelled at them “I have asked you not to use them utensil in that manner.” She quickly grabbed them from the foal as she continued ranting “I was up since four o’clock this morning cleaning them. As if I haven’t enough to do, what if the between maid leaving and now your aunt asking me to heave blooming great boxes about like I was as farmworker or something…”

“Star,” Firelight said “There’s not need to be so rude. Cook was just trying to cheer us up.” She looked to her siblings “Come on you two.” The foals quickly left.

Star looked up at the cook very unimpressed “Well! I’m very surprised at you cook, where’s your dignity? And take that silly hat off!” she sighed “And get yourself dressed properly, I don’t know, I seem to do all the work around here.”

In the bathroom, Stone stood on the cabinet and steadied a bucket of water over the ajar door. Despite being a Unicorn did not yet have the training to even to basic magic.

Firelight and Autumn stood close to the bath, Firelight spoke up “We should really Stone, she’ll get soaked.”

A door slammed and Stone peered around the bathroom door. He quickly turned to them “It’s too late! She’s coming.” He jumped down and joined his siblings.

There heard Star descended and grumbling “Stairs, stairs, stairs. I hope you’re ready and undressed Master Stone! I have got all night you know.”

Stone gulped “Yes Star.”

“Good.” The maid said as she appeared at the door, she would have said more but upon opening it, she, her uniform and the towels she carried got drenched in cold water and the bucket clattered onto the floor. She wailed and brushed herself down. Then she saw all three Waterbury Foals standing there. Both Firelight and Stone looked scared and regretful, but Autumn looked almost ready to laugh.

Star looked to Stone, she knew only a colt would do something like this, she made sure her expression matched the phrase, if looks could kill. She stalked forward, bottling up her rage until the right moment. She simply glanced from left to right and back again as she slowly approached. Her prey and his sister bunched up together but the bath stopped them going any further back.

Star gritted her teeth. He left hoof took hold of his shirt. Her right hoof smacked him hard. She grabbed him with both hooves. Shook him violently. Yelling in his face “You’re a nasty little limb you!”, the fillies cried for her to stop but Star took no notice and she stallion-handled the colt about “If you don’t mend your ways, you’ll go where your precious father’s gone! So, I’ll tell you straight!” she raised her hoof again.

“STAR!” came a shout from the door. Every-pony turned.

Mrs Waterbury looked very stern.

Star, dressed in her best attempted at finery, trudged down the stairs to the front door. Mrs Waterbury opened it. Star paused and turned to her, huffed and trudged out.

Scribble slammed the door and slapped her hoof together, finally rid of that beastly mare.

Clapping started from the stairs. She looked around and up at the three foals. They slowed and stopped, their happy faces fell. Scribble sighed, shook her head and tutted repeatedly. She turned away and head to fill in for Star’s duties, but as she did so she smiled.

A few days later Scribble sorted out breakfast and gave her foals important news. “We’re going to have to play at being poor for a while.”
She said levitating the plates off the table, she didn’t need to exercise her magic like this in years, she found it before tiresome but also very enjoyable. “We’re moving to darling little house in Ponyville.”

The girls questioned this and she looked to Stone “I know you’ll love it.” She turned back to the address all the foals. “During my last trip into Canterlot I managed to get an audience with both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, I told them our situation and they agreed to have us move to Ponyville while things get sorted out. Princess Twilight has kindly found a good house for us.”

Stone asked, “Is Aunt Emerald coming?”, they all turned to her and their mother said “No Stone unfortunately not. She’ll be leaving for Saddle Arabia about the time we leave for Ponyville. I want you all packed up by the afternoon so we can catch the evening train, then I’ll be a few hours to Ponyville.”

At the station a team of porter pushed Aunt Emerald’s luggage to the last carriage. She hugged Scribble and Autumn gave her a small peck on the cheek then she bordered the train to Bridle City Port, where she would catch her ship and sail south to Saddle Arabia.

They waved her goodbye. Then with their trunks and suitcases they waited for the train to Ponyville to arrive.

It arrived late. The little tank engine pulled in, got uncouple and quickly ran around the coaches, time waited for no one.

The porter and the guard help the family with their bag, the porter asked if they wanted to go to first class but Mrs Waterbury said they bought economy class tickets, this rather astounded the railway staff, the family looked like first class.

Scribble leaned back on her seat to speak to the passenger behind her. A mint green Unicorn with a heart shaped harp cutie mark, a thickly packed saddlebag beside her. Mrs Waterbury asked, “Is this the right train to Ponyville?”, the Unicorn smiled and nodded “Yes, I’d recognise this train any day.” She turned around on her seat and offered her hoof “Lyra Heartstrings, I live in Ponyville.”, Scribble took her took and shook it “Scribble Waterbury.”

Lyra’s eyes widened slightly and she frowned, Scribble leaned in and whispered in her ear “I don’t want my darlings to know. Maybe you can tell your friends and pass the news around the town.”, Lyra nodded.

The locomotive whistled and the train jerked forward.

The foals fell asleep on the journey. Scribble smiled softly and with Stone in her forehooves she kissed him on the forehead. Lyra smiled and looked out the window, she blinked and got off her seat and spoke “You’d better wake the little ones up. We’ll be reaching Ponyville soon.”

Scribble nodded and shook Stone lightly, the colt groaned and rubbed his eyes. Scribble smiled and them tapped the fillies awake. She explained they would be arriving soon.

The train slow and a lisping voice shouted “Ponyville Station, Ponyville.”

Lyra grinned “Sounds like Parcel Post’s on Night Porter duty.”

Scribble looked at her, Lyra “Every-pony knows every-pony else here, Parcel used to be the Post-stallion, now he’s doing odd jobs about the village until his idea of beekeeping pays off. Hope to Celestia it works, Luna knows what he’ll do it if it doesn’t.”

The group alighted the train and the family walked to the last carriage where the lanky brown Earth Pony handled the luggage and the mailbags. The Waterbury family looked at the suitcases coming out and they smiled “Those are ours.”

Parcel smiled “Well, that sorts that out.” He slung the mailbags and a large crate onto the trolley and pushed it out of the station.
The Waterbury family followed. Parcel stopped the trolley short of the edge. Another Earth Pony, average size, but with a spiky mane, bowtie and hourglass cutie mark trotted up “Ah my crate at last. What kept the train?”

“Haven’t a clue Doc, maybe an earlier through train got delayed.”, together they moved the crate and lugged it onto the bizarre looking cart.

Stone blinked “That looks interesting.”

The shorter Earth Pony nodded to Parcel and the lanky pony slung the mailbags onto his back and walked into the village.

Mrs Waterbury walked up the other Earth “Excuse me, we want to go to the house on the hill, the Three Chimneys? Do you know the way?”

The Earth Pony “Of certainly I pass it when I go sort wind the clock tower.” He offered his hoof “I’m Doctor Time Turner. Timekeeper, clockmaker, scientist and inventor, not necessarily in that order.”

“Scribble Waterbury.” She shook it “Me and my darlings our moving to the Three Chimneys, can you give up a lift, in your?”

“Oh, you like it?” He turned and smiled proudly “My best invention so far, the Lorry.”

Stone’s eyes widened and he smiled, exclaiming “You built this?”, Time Turner turned around and looked at him then at his cutie mark “You’ve got an engineering cutie mark? Fantastic! I could use a hoof in the cab stocking the fire.”

Stone turned to his mother “Can I Mummy?”, Mrs Waterbury grinned “Okay Stone dear, but do be careful.”, Stone almost bounced as he went to the front.

Time Turner help Mrs Waterbury on the fillies onto the back of the Lorry along with their luggage. He pushed the tipping side up, lock it into place and went to the cab. In the driver’s seat, he looked to Stone and began telling him how the Lorry worked. Opened the regulator, the pistons pumped, the flywheel revolved and the Lorry trundled through the sleeping town.

They reached the hill, about halfway up in fact. On the top of the hill stood a clock tower, when the Lorry stopped before the house the clock ticked to quarter passed nine at night.

The doctor help the three mares down and shook Mrs Waterbury by the hand “I just want to say before Miss Pie does, Welcome to Ponyville.”

“Thank you, Doctor. You’ve been very kind.”

“Oh, don’t thank me, this is what Ponyville is all about.” He pointed to the large crystal tree on the outskirts of the town “We don’t have the Princess of Friendship living in are town for nothing you know. By the way, did you message the Princess about your arrival? I can tell you’re from Canterlot she must know about this.”

Scribble gulped “Yes, she in fact arranged us to live here. I posted a letter saying we’d be here tonight, so we’ll probably have visitors either tomorrow or in the week.”

Time Turner nodded “Well, I’d better get home. I’ve got ideas buzzing about in my head ready to be made. Bye for now.” He trotted back to the Lorry, started it up and did a tricky turn and headed slowly down the hill.

Stone watched the Lorry go with admiring eyes “Maybe I can learn about engineering from him.”

Firelight smiled and looked to Autumn “Maybe we’ll get our cutie marks here.”, Autumn smiled and nodded. They then struggled with their boxes, trunks and suitcases through the narrow gap in the wall, very different from the gate of the villa.

Scribble found the door key under the doormat she glanced back at her foal and smiled, perhaps thing would turn out right in the end. But right now, she needed to open the door, get herself and her children inside, she if the caretaker, reluctantly she could only hire a male Pegasus, named Starry Eyes who lived close by, got the house clean and prepared supper.

At first, she wondered why no later shone from the house, but then she remembered the train arrived late so he probably went home.
She locked the door and stepped in, she charged her horn for an illuminating spell. She heard a squeak and a mouse scurried by on the floor. The door led to a kitchen and dining room. Around the table chair sat and on said table plates and in the centre a basket with dozens of sweet confections.

Scribble walked up to it and found a note, written in crayon she read it out “Surprise. Exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. Welcome to Ponyville. Love Pinkie Pie.” Scribble sighed as she looked around “At least Miss Pie was looking out for use Mr Eyes doesn’t appear to have done anything. He’s probably taken the money and not given us anything to eat. I’ll definitely be speaking to the Princess if she comes.”

The foals put their cases down, Scribble smiled softly at them “But let’s not worry about that, let eat and enjoy the evening darlings.”, they smiled.

Trottingham Treason and Plot

Lyra pushed the door to the house open and practically collapsed onto the floor, both out of the exhaustion of sitting on a train for hours and having to lug around such a heavy load in her saddlebag.

Her housemate and mare-friend Sweetie Drops, or better know the citizens of Ponyville, Bon-Bon, slowly walk up concerned “You okay Lyra.”

“Just tried. Nothing a nice, and long, warm bath won’t fix.” The mint green Unicorn said, she pulled herself up and nuzzled Bon-Bon “You won’t believe the what I got up to in Trottingham.”

“Something more unusual than your little Human hunt.”

“Bon-Bon, I’ve told you before, I know they exist, Twilight told me about that other world.”

“Only when she found out you’d moved her. Anyway, just because there’s some alternative universe where those weird two-legged stick figures live, that doesn’t mean they ever existed here?”

“Then how do you explain the string instruments? Or brass instrument for that matter? They seem very suited to hands, it’s a marvel ponies like Octavia and Blue Note can play those things by hoof.”

Bon-Bon sighed, she just had to fall in love with a Unicorn obsessed with weird creatures.

As Secret Agent Sweetie Drops she used to handle odd monsters and haul them into Tartarus as part of an organisation founded over a thousand years ago, by Sir Defender Warden, Royal Knight of Equestria, and ancestor of Captain Flash Sentry. A few years back a monster called a Bugbear left its homelands to attack Equestria, she defeated it and imprisoned it, however it escaped, and this happened before Cerberus and Tirek escaped over a year ago, the organisation got hushed up and went further underground, Sweetie moved to Ponyville to hide away.

Then Twilight arrived and life in Ponyville really livened up. And of course, Lyra moved in, the two really hit it off and became friend and recently, after Sweetie revealed her identity to Lyra, lovers.

Lyra didn’t count as a regular Unicorn. Original for Canterlot, and a student of Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, she graduated with a Third in her chosen field. She didn’t do so well because her special talent and hobby didn’t relate to magic as such. Her talent did, playing the harp with her magic, using it to pluck the strings, but her hobby, well she studied a very, niche, field of, she said anthropology and archology.

Ever since a filly Lyra studied in her spare time about a race called Humans. She described them as bipedal, standing on two feet like a diamond dog, a minotaur, and Discord. She attempted to walked constantly reared up but she couldn’t hold it. Unlike a minotaur or ponies, Humans did not have any fur, or so little of it as so not to count. Also like the above-mentioned creature Humans arms ended in hands, with apposable thumbs, one of the main points of Lyra’s obsession with them, somethings she would rave about how amazing it would be if ponies had hands, how much easier things would be.

Sweetie Drops couldn’t really see the point in hands, but Lyra insistently made what she called gloves out of old socks. And she would sometime point out the odd thing here and there which she related to Humans.

She even tried to convince other ponies, when the Cakes had their twins Lyra made a crude drawing of a human, to Sweetie it looked more like a blob of something, Lyra didn’t even draw the hands she so wished to have, to his Sweetie shook her head, sometimes her love didn’t put the effort into her convictions.

‘Oh Lyra, I don’t know if I should wish you were normal, what kind of Pony would you be if you didn’t obsess about Humans?’

“Bon-Bon?”, Sweetie blinked and look at Lyra “Yeah?”

“I asked you something. Did you ever face off a talking penguin?”

“A what?”

“Talking penguin, apparently one of the northern islands of the Griffish Isles is home to a race of talk penguin, a Dependency of the Grand Ducal Crown.”

“Okay, so why was one in Trottingham?”

“To blow up parliament.”, Sweetie’s eyes widened “Okay, you have got to tell me what happened.”

“Okay. I didn’t fight him, I just witnessed what happened. See I got off the train at Duke’s Cross Station…”

The mint Unicorn smiled as she trotted along the platform.

Duke’s Cross Station took its name from the small inner city of Trottingham it sat in. And the area itself got its name from a monument an ancient King of Griffin erected, apparently founding a Church for the Silver Enlightenment on the spot. True the Silver Enlightenment did seemingly have a decent presence in the Griffish Isle, but not enough to be considered a part of it identity.

The Griffish Isles like Saddle Arabia is self-governing, but they did not have a Prince or Princess, the title of their rules is Grand Duke, grand denotes the historical royal status, the Island used to be a protectorate of Pegasopolis. Due to its proximity to the Griffon Lands, the Pegasi protected it. In gratitude, the King bent the knee. When Equestria was established and Princess Celestia and Princess Luna assumed the throne the King decided, unlike the Unicorn King at the time to change his title and rule under Celestia and Luna, thus decreeing the change to the name Grand Duke. The current Ducal family called themselves the Hanoverians.

Getting back to the matter at hoof Lyra looked at her directions “Okay, the library is the Heel Holder’s Square in the City of Buckminster.”

Trottingham may be the capital of the Griffish Isles, but, it is just an area call Trottingham after the small City of Trottingham in the middle, the first settlement on the River Trot.

It is semi-independent to the authority of the Grand Duke. The Right Honourable, the Lord Mayor of Trottingham is the leader of the square mile area as head of the City of Trottingham Corporation and the Grand Duke must ask permission to enter the City of Trottingham.

The area called Trottingham by every-pony is in truth a collection of other settlements, referred to as Boroughs, however the Borough holding the Houses of Parliament and the Trottingham Library has city status, the City of Buckminster.

Buckminster is not really a city, not like Canterlot, Manehatten, Los Pegasus or even Bridle City. It is just a small settlement in the middle of some fields. A jumble of cramped back streets, and in fact much like Ponyville a warren of timbered houses. Only instead of the Castle of Friendship being on the outskirts of the town, the most important buildings stood in the middle with the wooden structures surrounding them. A small church dedicated to Listener Stone, and the Palace of Buckminster, better known as the Houses of Parliament.

Lyra stepped out from Duke’s Cross Station and on to the street, she looked around “Taxi!”, she shouted, but nothing came.

A pony beside her scoffed “You’ll have to wait. Mrs Dartmoor Clipper came by a few minutes ago, and the cabbies ran for it.”

Lyra looked at him confused “Why? Who’s Mrs Dartmoor Clipper.”

“She’s a local nutcase is Mrs Clipper, she has it out for cabbies. Celestia only knows why. She’s being it over ten years.”

“Doing what?”

“She taken over twenty-five cabbies to court over fees technicalities. Somehow, she knows the fare charts of by heart, using this she would catch a cab going from Point A to Point B, and just before the distance and fare rate would increase, she’d call a halt to the cab. If the poor cab driver tried to collect the larger fare, she’d take him to court. Usually she’d win.”

“She deliberately tries to make them charge more and then sues them?”

“Yeah, nothing in the law says she can’t, but sweet Celestia she drives cabbies around the bend. I heard tell one judge told if the overcharging got on her wick so much she should buy her own private couch.”

Lyra nodded “That would save us all a lot of fuse. Are you going anywhere?”

“No, just waiting for a friend.” He walked over to a cart standing nearby.

“Taxi Miss?”, Lyra turned to the road and saw a cabby standing there. Lyra smiled and climbed in, she gave the cabbie the location and they went on their way.

Sweetie raised a hoof to stop Lyra as they sat on the bathroom waiting for the tub to fill. Sweetie sat on the floor while Lyra sat on the rim of the tub the way she usually did, on her flank with her back hooves dangling.

Sweetie guessed, corrected it related to Humans, Lyra said sitting that way proved quite comfortable, but Sweetie didn’t wish to try it, that way madness lie.

“Sorry Lyra but what does that have to do with this talking penguin and the attempted blowing up of the Trottingham Parliament?”

“I know it sounds odd to mention that, but it will relate later. Anyway, I reached the library,” she paused and chuckled “Twilight would love it in there.”

Miles and miles of shelves meet Lyra, she checked her notes taken from the index cards.

She found herself in a quiet corner of fourth floor, a soft sofa sat next to the table. She found a book, a large thick and dusty volume. She could barely hold in her magic before she slammed it down onto the table.

She turned the first few pages and her eyes widened, her jaw dropped. Then she gave the biggest, toothiest grin she could muster.

The page she found contained a pair of images, of a Human male and female. The drawings, obviously made with ink and pen showed the two examples of humanity in two superimposed positions with his arms and legs apart and inscribed in a circle and square.

Around them a strange written language. It appeared like the Equestrian Alphabet, with a similar amount of the characters with shapes resembling Equestrian characters. But none of the words, only seven characters in length at the most, did not make up anything remotely like Equestrian.

She found a piece of paper sunk into the inside cover, and she read it ‘To whomever find this letter and this manuscript I wish you luck, the mystery of this codex has perplexed me for many years. I discovered it among others in a trunk in a Silver Enlightened monastery in the south of this fair island, the monks were selling of parts of their library to raise money for a restoration of the buildings, it interested me so much I bought it for the price of twenty bits, all I can tell is that this manuscript was created roughly in the year 400 of Celestia’s Reign. By its content, it is paradoxically both priceless and worthless. It has made fools of the wise, but its own wisdom yet is folly. I am nearing the end of my days so I am donating this to the Trottingham Library for future ponies to find and take interest. Signed, Bookworm, Trader of Antiquarian Books, 920 Celestia’s Reign.’

Lyra blinked ‘Eighty years!’, she returned to the book and turned the pages. It continued with precise images of Human anatomy and more of the bizarre language. Lyra looked at this amazed, for years she wondered about the exact appearance and proportions of humans, and here she got them, tall and rather lanky, as expected with most species the male stood taller than the female. Even a comparison between human and pony sizes.

Average size for a pony is four-and-a-half hooves, a hoof equals twelve inches or thirty centimetres. Of course, ponies could be taller, Big Mac neared five hooves and per the Apples, there lives in Appleloosa a rodeo clown called Trouble Shoes who towered at almost six hooves, very close, relatively speaking when compared to other ponies, to Princess Celestia’s height, she towered at six-and-a-half hooves, not including her wings.

Comparing the height of the Human male it seemed the Princess of the Sun either equalled or stood slightly taller.

The book then when into a different section, images of cities and islands. Then into images of star constellations and nebulas and possibly images from the microscopic world. Finally, it seemed to go into a storybook mode. In the margins illustrations of Humans in minimal clothing fighting monsters, like dragons and minotaur, griffons and such like. Even the odd pony beside them.

Then Lyra paused, she recognised the images on this page. Her favourite bedtime story.

About the main Human island, powerful and advanced magically and scientifically. Many heroes came from the mainland and travelled around the world, included to Equestria, of course, these events would have taken place thousands and thousands of years before the unification. The society became corrupt and tried to conqueror the other settlement, but the other settlements, while less advance, were moral and wise so rose and drove the conquerors back, then ironically in the wake of the victory the other settlements started to war against each other and the mainlanders. An earthquake and flood took over and sank all the human islands.

Lyra’s father explained the meaning behind it, being a great individual would ensure the greatness of the nation, especially if every-pony tried to be great as well.

Lyra understood it, but in her research, she just felt maybe these legends originated somewhere. And apparently, some-pony also research humans in far greater detail and made this book.

Hoof steps sounded. Lyra shut the book. She turned.

A librarian walked up “Oh, you found that old thing, did you? Useless we call it, the Head Librarian just told me to get rid of so we can open up shelf space.”

Lyra’s eyes widened “Wait, could I, have it? I’ll pay.” She rummaged in her saddlebag and pull out a load of bits, she counted them out ‘Okay Bookworm payed twenty bits for it, it’s been eighty years, and I think the bit is about the same value, plus the book more valuable to me. I’ll pay thirty.’ She stacked up three rows of ten and turned to the librarian and offered her the money.

The librarian stared amazed “Excuse me, I need to get the Head Librarian.”

“So,” Sweetie said testing the heat of the water “you brought the book?”

Lyra smiled widely and nodded as she took hold of the bubble bath “It’s in my saddlebag, I’m going to try and translated it.”

Sweetie narrowed her eyes and she stepped into the tub “Bookworm said he couldn’t.”

“Ah.” Lyra said pouring the soupy liquid in and stirring the water, think foamy bubble start filling in “But did Bookworm know about the story I grew up with? If I can find some common words like names and other contexts words, then it’s a start.” She climbed in and blew so foam into Sweetie’s face. She giggled when Sweetie wiped the bubble off and looked at her annoyed “You’ve got no language to compare it to.”

“I’ll just look for similar ones, I’m sure Twilight will have books on languages, if not I can journey to Canterlot or the Crystal Empire if need be.”

Sweetie looked at her fed up. Lyra sighed “Alright I’ll take a break, a day or two.”, Sweetie narrowed her eyes.

For the last two years, well less than that really, Lyra would do something involving Humans at least for hour every day, of course, to two spent time together doing different things but Sweetie really wanted Lyra to stop this. And now with this apparent discover she would probably become truly obsessed with cracking it.

“A week?”, Sweetie softened “It’s a start. Now when are you going to get to the penguin?”

“Okay. After buying the book I went on a tour of Trottingham.”

Lyra sat on the back of a standard Trottingham red bus. It took about four well-built stallions to pull the double decker wagon along, but it did prove great fun.

Beside her the conductor started calling out locations “Regent Street, Piccadilly Circus, Shaftsbury Avenue.”

Another pony climbed down the stairs about to get off, but she turned to the conductor and asked in an exclamation “Did you say let’s be having you?”, the conductor turned to her and said, “No I didn’t, but you want to make something out it love?”

“Oh, no.” she said, “No without me strawberries.” And she got off.

Lyra turned to the window and watched the mare go ‘Whatever did she mean by that? Not without me strawberries? That makes no sense.’ She leaned back and went into her own thought.

Then the conductor called out “Parliament building coming up. Any-pony wishing to see the state opening, a chance to see His Royal Highness, the Grand Duke.”

Lyra looked up ‘That should be interesting.’, the current Grand Duke, a rather aged stallion rarely made public appearances, he didn’t make an appearance at the Equestria Games, so for him to come and do this, well it must be important. However, rumours, said the Grand Duke didn’t appear in public often because he suffered madness.

As the bus went over the bridge another cart passed it. Lyra watched it from the window. Her eyes widened as she recognised the pony from the station pulling the cart as it passed, then she saw a clocked figure sat on the back of it, behind him a load of unmarked barrels. It turned a corner and disappeared.

Lyra got off the bus and examine the parliament building. Located on the banks of a river. She remembered reading a description of it in a book in the Canterlot library while looking for evidence of Humans.

The description when as thus;
A magnificent and extensive pile, in part covering the ground now occupied by the two large areas or courts known as Old Palace Yard and New Palace Yard, and it consisted of many buildings destined to various purposes. Chambers, chapels, and halls of the former royal palace that housing both Parliament and the various royal law courts. The two courts are bounded on the east by the river. In the Old Palace Yard is the House of Lords, where every year the Grand Duke or Duchess opens the Parliament for the year.
The House of Lords is raised up on the first floor, underneath it is called the Under Croft, a ground floor storage room sometimes referred to as the cellar.

The pages included a map of the Houses of Parliament. Lyra always did her best to remember things, up to the point her near photographic levels.

Lyra followed the route the strange cart went and peered around.

A cabby passed by, another came the other way.

The strange cart stood in a courtyard park directly next to the building which housed the House of Lord. The cloaked figure came out from an archway leading into the Under Croft.

The pony who pulled the cart carefully unloaded the barrels. Saluted the figure and then hitched onto the cart and quickly trotting out. Lyra darted back to and pretended to walk the other way, the pony passed her and gave a little wave, she smiled and nodded back.

Once the pulling pony disappeared out of sight Lyra walked back to the corner. The cloaked figure reached out. Revealing a pair of flippers. Lyra blinked and rubbed her eyes, she looked back.

Indeed, a penguin in a cloak began handling a wooden barrel as large as it. Gingerly the penguin lowered the barrel onto its side and rolled it inside the Under Croft.

Lyra narrowed her eyes but heard hoof-steps she turned as a smartly dressed stallion walked passed and looked to the courtyard, he smiled and nodded “The leaseholder is here, very good.”

Lyra walked up “Excuse me?”, the smartly dressed stallion turned “Yes miss?”

“Heartstrings, Lyra Heartstrings.”

“Charmed,” he bowed low “Lord Gracious Whinneyard at your service.”

“What do you mean leaseholder?”

“Oh, the Under Croft under the House of Lords in my property, I lease it out to merchants wishing to trade in the city. The latest chap said by letter he would be bring thirty-six barrel loads of an exotic powder.”

“Do you actually know who is merchant is?”

“Well no, I don’t like enquiring into my clients’ nature, bad for business.”

“Look.” Lyra pointed and Whinneyard turned, his eyes widened “Good grief. What’s a Foallands Islander doing all the way down here?”

“The what?”

“The Foallands Islands, it’s got a Pony Settlement but it’s native people are Penguins. It’s a Crown Dependency has been for years. Started off as a colony of the Crystal Empire, then got pawed to us when the daughter of their Princesses married one of our ancient Kings, until could get a dowry raised at the time, it never got payed and then the Empire disappeared. So, the Parliament made the Islands a Crown Dependency, not independent but it has an autonomous government, and all Islanders are Griffish subjects. Recently though Parliament has announced changes to the Foallands Islands, speaking of which I needed up in the House of Lords, the Grand Duke will arrive in half-an-hour.”

Lyra watched Whinneyard go and she shook her head ‘The nobles here are worse than in Canterlot.’

She looked back as the Penguin returned to roll another barrel. Lyra stayed put to wait. The Penguin closed the door and waddled off.

Lyra tip-hoofed towards the door and opened it.

Dark and dry. Seventy-seven hooves long, twenty-four-and-a-half hooves wide, and ten hooves tall with timbered pillars supported the floor of the House of Lords, she could hear the muffled voices of chattering and the sounds of hooves above her head

She illuminated her horn, golden aura brightened the area in front of her face. She kept close to the wall and inched her way closer to the end. Where if she remembered the throne, where the Grand Duke would sit upon, sat directly above.

She stopped and flinched as the back wall suddenly appeared before her eyes. She turned and found the thirty-six barrels. She opened one and looked in. A black power, most of them clumped together in lumps sat in it, already Lyra turned concerned. She levitated a lump and sniffed it, an acrid and sour scent, her worries deepened, and she didn’t want to do this next part, but she knew she must, she stuck out her tongue and lightly touched the lump onto it. It tasted like steam and sulphur with a hint of urine, she remembered those tastes from her alchemy classes, her teacher told her to taste the substances to make sure she got the right materials, she never understood the point of her doing it, up until now.

Her suspicions got confirmed, the urine taste came from saltpetre, the steamy came from charcoal, and the sulphur, the smell of rotten egg is bad enough the taste, dear Celestia. But they all added up. Explosive powder, what they usual filled explosive firework munitions with.

The door opened. Lyra let the horn spell drop.

She heard the light slap of flippers waddling on the hard ground. Lyra took a deep breath, remember some of her magic training. The waddling came nearer. She cast a spell. A gold dome covered the Penguin. She smiled “Caught you.”

“Let me out of here!” the Penguin shouted “I, Charlatan, rightful King of Penguins orders you to release him. The Foallands Islands are ours and we won’t let the Grand Duke and his corrupt court control us anymore.”

Lyra frowned unimpressed, the Penguin King reminded her of Trixie Lulamoon, and while she did help save Equestria by helping Starlight when she rescued Twilight and friends from Queen Chrysalis, Lyra still didn’t forgive Trixie for imprisoning Ponyville with the Alicorn Amulet. She sighed, she couldn’t keep this spell up much longer and she needed to alert some-pony. Her timing need to be exact, she dropped the dome, made an amplification spell looked up and called “Help! Terrorist! Come quick.”

Charlatan ran from the door, Lyra galloped after him.

Outside a pair of ponies dressed in red tunics with gold linings and black flat topped hats came running, they saw the two pass and Lyra shouted, “Explosives under the House!”

One guard rushed into the Under Croft, the other ran with Lyra.

Charlatan reached the road and shouted “TAXI!”, but to his surprise, no cabby appeared, he saw one running around the corner. Something hit him on the back of the head and he turned to see an overdressed mare with a parasol, she poked him “Don’t use them young sir, they overcharge you know.”

Lyra and the guard, another unicorn ran up. The guard charged a spell and Charlatan found himself wrapped in chains.

The guard looked over the penguin before nodding and turned to the mares “Thank you. Mrs Clipper, if you hadn’t been here then this criminal might have gotten away.”, then to Lyra “And you Miss?”

“Heartstrings, Lyra Heartstrings.”

“Miss Heartstrings, Celestia only knows what would have happened if he lit the fuse.”

“Just helping.”

“More than helping.” Said an elderly voice, they turned as an old stallion in regal uniform walked up to them. The guard stood to attention. Lyra blinked wide-eyed.

The Grand Duke smiled “You more than help, you saved our lives.” He twitched “Sorry my nerves. I think you need rewarding Miss Heartstrings. Please kneel.”

Lyra didn’t exactly know what would happen but she followed the order. The Grand Duke pull out his sword. He tapped her on her shoulder. Lyra stayed still until the Grand Duke chuckled and muttered “I’ve always wanted to say this.” He cleared his throat “Arise, Dame Lyra Heartstrings.”, Lyra’s eyes widened and she quickly stood up and exclaimed “Dame? I’ve, been knighted?”

“Yes, I’ve appointed you a Dame Grand Cross of the Royal Victorious Order, awarded to those who have performed personal service for the sovereign of the Griffish Isles, and saving my life is a great personal service indeed. Tell me what’s you address? That way we can send you the insignia badge, sash and robes, and correspondence about your Coat of Arms.”, she told him.

“Ponyville? We then I shall have word sent to Princess Twilight Sparkle. Now if you excuse me, Dame Lyra I must open Parliament.” He turned around and walked away.

Mrs Clipper blinked “The Grand Duke is mad.” And she walked off in a huff.

Sweetie blinked as she dried her mane “Dame Lyra Heartstrings?”

Lyra smiled as she slipped into her side of the bed, ever since the two became a couple they share “I can’t even believe it myself. I know what I want on my Coat of Arms.”

“Let me guess, a hand, or perhaps a human?”, Lyra nodded while grinning widely “One of the two. It’ll make it unique at least.”

“You’re going to give the heralds a headache, will they know what you’re talking about.”

“I’ll show them the images in the book.” She smiled and thought about her new purchase.

Sweetie looked at her mare-friend, she didn’t know what to think, yes, she like seeing Lyra happy, but she really didn’t like her friend going on and on about Humans, a real obsession. And now seemingly confirmed. Sweetie would have to look at this book herself, her more sceptical brain wondered if it could be a hoax of some kind. She wanted to uncover the truth, although she didn’t want to hurt Lyra, not after what happened with the Bugbear.

Lyra meanwhile went through her day’s event once again. A new thought struck her “I just remembered, on the train back here I meet some new residence to Ponyville.”

“Oh?” Sweetie said putting the towel into the wash basket and grabbing her mane brush.

“Yeah, I heard their going to live in that Three Chimneys cottage, up on the hill?”

“That old place? Who are ponies anyway?”

“The Waterbury Family.”, Sweetie stopped mid brush and turn to Lyra “Waterbury? Not the family off…”

Lyra nodded “Mrs Waterbury, Scribble told me to keep it a secret from her three foals.”

“Dedicated mother.” Sweetie put the brush down and went to the wardrobe, one thing Lyra brought with her from Canterlot Sweetie took a real liking to, the nightdress, given all the times she’d been awaken in the middle of the night be soon monster she found have something to wear and keep her equipment inside really helped, plus she could wear something cute for Lyra’s enjoyment.

She slipped it on and slowly walked up to the bed.

Lyra slumped under the sheets “Sorry Bon-Bon, but I’m very tired. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow morning.”

Sweetie sighed and smirked, she hadn’t really been think about that, may be a bit of her suaveness as a Secret Agent slipped out. Sweetie did sometimes find herself in the company of ponies in high office, and now Lyra held a title in the Griffish Isles, instinct and all that. She got into bed “Night Lyra.” And out went the light.

"Charming"

Down at the North-Eastern Windmill, the cockerel sounded, waking up most of Ponyville, including the Waterbury Family in their new hilltop residence of the Tree Chimneys.

The foals sat down to breakfast. The kitchen door opened and Mrs Waterbury came in with a big smile on her face and a hot baking tray with something steaming within it carried with her magic.

Stone’s mouth watered and he asked, “What’s that Mummy?”

Scribble stopped at the head of the tabled and excitedly answered “Pie!”, the Foal repeated amazed and Mrs Waterbury took a sniff and answered again “Apple pie.” And she put it on table.

“Apple pie for breakfast?” Autumn asked, “Then we’re not poor after all.”

Mrs Waterbury’s face faltered “This is the supper we should have had, I found it this morning in that little room that we thought was a cupboard, as it turns out it’s a cold room, like a massive refrigerator.” She sat down “So Mr Eyes wasn’t so bad after all.” She took the knife.

A knock came from the door. Mrs Waterbury got up and went to it. Firelight got out of her chair and started cutting the pie up.

Scribble opened the door. A Pegasus stallion, with a white coat, wavy two-tone black mane and tail, gold eyes, and a cutie mark of a telescope, stood there. Scribble smiled “Good morning, can I help you?”

“I hope so Madam, I’m Starry Eyes.”

“Oh, do come in. We’ve just been talking about you.”

“Thanks,” he stepped in and explained “Sorry I couldn’t be here when you arrive I was up in Cloudsdale.”

“Oh, why so?”

“I’m a Wonderbolt Reserve.”

“Really?”, he nodded “But I did arrange things with Pinkie Pie and Applejack.” He looked at the table “I see you found the supper Applejack supplied,” he frowned “Funny time to have it though.”

Scribble explained, “Oh I see.” He went to the broom cupboard and pulled out a borrow with his wings “We’ll I’d better get started on this job, I’m saving up for a new telescope.”

“Oh?”

“My special talent is astronomy and a little astrology.” He then started grumbling “I’m still kicking myself for not noticing those four stars moving on the Summer Sun Celebration Nightmare Moon returned. Still, thank Celestia Princess Twilight and her friend got things sorted out.”

After breakfast, the foal went out to explore the local area. The ran along a long field and stopped at wooden fence.

The looked down and saw the railway line. The stood at the top of an embankment close to a tunnel.

A whistle sounded from within at and a train steamed out. A six coupled tender engine, meaning six driving wheels, with a smart green livery.

The foals watched from the fence as it thundered past, it disappeared behind some trees and before long it’s five couched left their view as well.

Firelight spoke first “It was like a great dragon tearing by.”

Autumn turned to the tunnel “A dragon’s house looks like that tunnel.”

Stone smiled “I never thought we’d ever get close to a train as this.”, Firelight smirked “Better than toy engines, isn’t it?”, Stone looked back to the tracks “Don’t know. It’s different. It seems so odd to see all of a train, it’s so tall, I’ve always seen them cut in half by platforms.”

Autumn spoke up “I wonder if that train is going to Canterlot? Canterlot’s where Daddy is.”

Firelight turned to her “We don’t know that Autumn.”

“He might be.”

Firelight considered. Then she and her siblings climbed over the fence and walked down the embankment to the lineside. Stone looked down the track to the tunnel, but he stayed on the side of the line. The fillies decided to stay off the tracks as well.

The followed the stretch of rails and then they saw the station. Stone continued for a few steps then looked back as his sisters, before quickening his pace toward said station, the fillies caught up.

They stepped onto the platform and continued walking. Stone stopped at a face and peered over. A pile of coal with a white line stood behind it, and behind the pile a brick wall with a hole in it leading to the fields on the hill.

A bell sounded and they continued exploring the station.

No-pony seemed to be getting any train. Stone checked the waiting room, empty, so he returned to his sisters.

They then looked through the window of the Station Master’s House. Not his actual house, more the reactional building for the station staff, the main rooms being the Station Master’s Office, the tea room and the bedroom upstairs for the Night Porter.

In the window of the office they saw a pony leaning on a chair with a copy of the Equestria Daily covering his face, no doubt the station master slept. The headline of the paper grabbed the foal’s attention ‘Buckminster Baddy Banged-up by Bard.’

A bell rang again and the Station Master jumped awake. He pulled the paper off his face and grabbed his hat. He scrambled out of the door and turned to the crossing gates.

Stone spoke up “How do you do?”, the station master turned “What?”

“How do you do?” Stone repeated.

“How do.” The station master responded, his back hooves twitched. Stone asked, “Can I ask you a couple of question?”, the station master grabbed his pocket watch “Well, that does depend on what they are, I can’t spend all day in conversation with the junior public.” He started shuffled down the platform but kept his eyes on Stone “Now what are they?”

“Well,” Stone called down “firstly what’s that white line on the coal heap for?”

“That’s to tell how much coal there in case any-pony steals it.” He shuffled closer to the gates “Second question please.”

“Do you know anything about engines?”

“Do I know anything about engines? Why?”

“Because I’ve got one.”

“Got one? What gauge?” he called back.

“Oh, I don’t know anything about gauges.” He held up his hooves to about the length of his model “It’s about this big. It’s brass. And it blew up!”

“It blew up?” He turned to the gates “Just excuse my young sir I’ve a lot to do because the signal pony’s having his tail cropped at the Day Spa. And Perks must be about it.” He galloped to the gates.

“Perks?” Stone frowned “Who’s Perks?”

At the gates the Station Master looked offend “Me sir, I’m Perks!” he then quickly proceeded to open the for gates with the speed and dexterity of a silent film comedian. Perks rushed over to the levers of the points and pushed one back into place with the others before pulling another toward him. He then pulled out his pocket watch from his waistcoat and grinned as a whistle sounded “Right on time.”

“What is?” Stone called.

As a train approached Perks pointed “This here’s on time. The Bridle City Express.” A large black tank engine with six large coupled wheels at the front followed by a single pair of trailing wheels steamed through with four coaches.

When it left, Stone looked back to Perks “Why is it going so slowly Mr Perks?”

Perks returned the signal levers back into their original position and looked up “Well, it’s mostly up hill to Bridle City Port, isn’t it?”, he then went to the gates at a slower pace not with any through trains scheduled for a long while.

Autumn looked to her siblings “That trains headed to Bridle City, it’s an important place, maybe Daddy’s there.”

Firelight smiled softly “Perhaps Autumn.”

In their bedroom, the fillies shared their bed. Firelight heaped on another blanket.

With most of her face under the sheets Autumn spoke up “I don’t think we’re going to enjoy being poor, you know? Being cold at night and all that.”

Firelight slipped into the sheets “Try to imagine it as an adventure. All sorts of thing might happen, Mother could write about it, write a book, you never know. We won’t always be poor Autumn, I’m sure.”

“Alright, goodnight.”, Firelight turned the light off with her magic “Goodnight.” And she rolled onto her side. A moment’s pause and then Autumn spoke her mind, very much like her father “Still cold though.”

In her room, Scribble sat in bed with a writing desk. She manoeuvred her quill with her magic and spoke out her story “…lightly on the cheek.” She coughed before continuing “One of the stallions, in a bowler hat opened the door. Father did not turn away from Mother when the stallion did so. But left without a word.” She levitated the page and carefully put it next on the pile with the others.

She put the quill into the inkwell before she rubbed her hooves covered by socks. She coughed again. Took out the quill and started on a new page.

Next morning the foals went down to the end of the field to the fence. They could hear a train coming.

Autumn spoke “Why don’t we ask the next train to take our love to Daddy?”

Stone snorted “Trains don’t carry people’s love, they’d be above that.”

“Yes, they do.” Autumn replied, “If you domesticate them first.” She then looked back at them “I wonder why Daddy hasn’t written to us?”

“Mummy says he’s too busy. He’ll write soon she says.”

“Well,” Autumn said “Why don’t we wave anyway? Three waves won’t matter, we won’t miss them.”

A whistle took their attention. Out of the tunnel came a tender engine. Painted with handsome maroon livery with polished metal and cooper fixtures. A four-wheeled front bogie and two pairs of large driving wheels. It pulled three coaches, the only at the back looked like a dining or an observation coach with large windows and comfortable seats seat before tables.

The foals smiled and started waving.

The train passed with no-pony initially taking notice, except one.

Sitting at the back of the special couch, a mature and strong built, blue coated Unicorn with a fine flowing mane of white, a compass rose cutie mark, dressed in a waistcoat and multiple frilled red cravat, looked up from his newspaper and saw the three of them, his smirked and folded his newspaper so to waved it at them as he passed. Then with them behind him he smiled “Charming,” he said before reopening his newspaper “Charming.” He started reading again.

At night Stone readied himself, dressed in black he stuffed his pillow under his sheets. Switched his light off and quietly went to his before. An owl hooted outside his window.

Slowly and surely, he descended the starts and carefully traversed the kitchen to the door. He opened it and exited into the night. Once he shut the door to the Three Chimneys he galloped through the yard and down the field to the wall beside the station.

He carefully inched through the hole in the wall and stepped onto the top of the coal heap. He took of his woollen hat and started loading lumps of coal into it.

On the station platform Perks shut the door to his office.

Stone’s back hoof lost it place and slipped onto his stomach. Some of the coal slipped and rumbled off.

The small rockslide caught Perk’s attention.

Stone leaped through the hole and ran off, disturbing a cat, it meowed.

Perks shook his head and walked off “About time they had that tom seen to.”

Stone meanwhile ran to up the hill back home.

At breakfast Mrs Waterbury address the others “The coal in the little shed has held up good Flame.”, Flame being to more common nickname for Firelight, Mrs Waterbury put her daughter’s breakfast down and continued “There was hardly any yesterday when I looked.”
Firelight said digging in and suggested “Well, we’ve only had one fire.”

Mrs Waterbury replied, “I know, but I would swear there was more than when we arrived.” She turned back to the cooker and Firelight responded, “That’s silly.”

Stone gulped “Of course it’s silly.” He put his spoon down and rubbed his hoof on his trousers.

Once more at the coal heap Stone took lump after lump, this time he used an old pram he found left in a narrow street of Ponyville while exploring the town.

Having filled it up he started pulling it up the hill. He wished he did have magic, then he could see where to go and merely drag the pram behind him by whatever colour aura he possessed.

As he near the yard of the Three Chimneys one of the back wheels of the pram hit a fallen piece of branch and it came off. The coal split. Stone hastily grabbed what he could carry and rushed to the little shed. Lobbed the lump in then turned back and jumped backwards into the wall in shock.

Firelight and Autumn stood there, his eldest sister spoke “So it’s you Stone.”

“It’s me what?”

“It’s you who’s been putting the coal in the shed, but where from Stone for Celestia’s sake?”

“From the coal heap, of course, they’ve got stacks of it there.”

“But that’s stealing!”

“Wasn’t stealing, it was mining. I took it from the top, that’s mining not stealing. If it was, all the miners in the world would be in jail.”

“Oh Stone.” Firelight said shaking her head. Autumn repeated, exactly. Firelight looked back at her sister a little confused, but then returned to her brother “We’ll have to take it all back.”

“What?” Stone exclaimed

“All of it.” Firelight repeated, and then Autumn repeated it. Stone sighed and turn to the shed “Can’t be anything wrong in trying to keep your own Mother warm, that can’t be wrong.”

“It’s alright Stone.” Autumn said, “At least we can burn the evidence.”, Firelight turned to her sister and gave her a truly stern look.

Mr Perks fumed at them, Stone most of all “Look at you. So smartly dress and all. Poorer ponies have to scrimp and save for coal, you’re lucky you came here to Ponyville, not somewhere like the Hollow Shades.”

“No,” Stone said “at our other house we always had fires when it was cold, and usually woodfires, or gas in the breakfast room. But now Mother says we’re too poor to have fires now.”

“Stone.” Firelight said sternly. Mr Perks raised an eyebrow.

Sounds of hooves caught their attention. At the door to the office stood a white Earth Pony with a white coat deep reddish pink mane, stick out from underneath his golden armour walked in “You called Mr Perks?”

“Yes, sir Mr Blade.” He explained about the robbery “But young master Stone here says their now poor.”

Chrome Blade sighed “Actually they are.”, Perks blinked and Chrome explained about Mrs Waterbury having to letting off house staff and then the arrangement with Princess Twilight to relocate them to Ponyville, Chrome then looked at the colt “Now, are you sorry?”

“Yes, but Mother’s gets ill easily when she gets cold.”

“Ah, so it wasn’t selfish, desperate times call for desperate measures.” He turned back to Perks “I’ll explain this to Mrs Waterbury, but I don’t think this calls for any drastic punishment. A day or two’s grounding.”, Perks nodded “Thanks for coming Mr Blade.”

“That’s what the Guard is for.” He turned back to the foals “Come on I’ll take you home. But remember, stealing is stealing however you do it”, they nodded and followed the Guard-pony.

A few days later Stone, having finished his grounding ran from town up to the Three Chimneys.

Firelight and Autumn currently sat in the Schoolhouse being taught by Miss Cheerilee, Stone having been grounded for most of the day couldn’t attended today.

The colt ran up to the door with a paper bag on his back. He stopped at the door and would have knocked but it opened and Starry Eyes look ready to leave in a bit of a rush. But Stone stopped him and give him the bags “Here we are Starry I’ve got the buns for tea.”

“Buns?” Starry said taken him in hoof. Stone nodded “Mummy sold her story and…” he stopped when the Pegasus looked down worried, “Mr Eyes what’s the matter?”

“It’s your mother master Stone she’s very poorly, she can’t get out of bed, you’d better go to the hospital and get either Doctor Horse or Nurse Redheart, preferably both.”

“Right.” Stone turned and galloped back the way he came. The door shut behind him and he shouted back “Don’t let her die Mr Eyes!”
He almost stumbled as he reached the crossroad into town. Suddenly he stopped remembering, he didn’t know the way to Ponyville General Hospital. Then he heard the trundle of a cart, he turned and smile, Mr Cipher and his post cart, he would know the way, he cupped his hooves over this mouth “Mr Cipher!”, the Reformed Changeling Post-stallion stopped “Yes, Stone?”

“How do I get to the hospital?”

“I’ll be passing it on my route, hope on.” He glanced at his passenger “Give the colt some room Riolu.”, the bipedal canine nodded and shuffled to give stone some room. Once on Cipher gave slammed his reins down and the cart took off as fast as it could.

Once they reached the hospital Stone jumped off and ran into the reception. He almost collapsed at the desk. The mare at the desk leaned over “Can I help you?”

“Yes,” Stone said in between gasping breaths “Mrs Waterbury, Three Chimneys, very ill, Mr Eyes said, call Doctor Horse, or Nurse, Redheart.”

The mare nodded “Doctor Horse is busy, but Nurse Redheart is available.” She pressed the speaker “Nurse Redheart report to reception, Nurse Redheart wanted at reception.” She pointed to one of the chair “Wait there until she arrives.”, Stone nodded and sat down, his legs twitched and he glanced about.

“You wanted me.” A voice said, Stone turned and saw a mare standing at reception. White coated, pink mane and tail, blue eyes, and a cutie mark of a red medical cross with a pink heart in each corner. She wore a nurse's cap with emblem of the same design as her cutie mark.

Stone blinked and spoke up “Are you Nurse Redheart.”, the mare turned “Yes?”, the receptionist explained, the nurse’s eyes widen, she walked up to Stone “Come with me, I’ll get my equipment and then we’ll get to the Three Chimneys as quickly as possible.”

The foals and Starry Eyes waited outside the door to Mrs Waterbury’s room.

The clock tower struck, the bang sounded ominous.

The door opened and Nurse Redheart came out “It’s the flu, nothing fatal. But she’ll have to stay in bed, I’ll come back as often as possible, but I can’t stay, so,” she turned to Firelight and grinned “In my absence, you’ll be Head Nurse.”, Firelight nodded, Redheart grinned “Good, I’ll send down some medicine, keep a good fire going and some strong herbal tea the moment the fever goes.” She pulled out a list “She can have the grapes now and the soda water, and maybe a bottle of cider to warm her up and make her sleepy.” She handed the list to Firelight who nodded. Nurse Redheart smiled and opened the door “You can go in and see her now.”, Firelight nodded “May I have the list?”, Redheart nodded and gave it to her.

Redheart closed the door, she noticed Autumn’s sad expression “Don’t worry dear, your sister’s Head Nurse, but you can be Matron.”, Autumn grinned widely “Thank you.”

In the bedroom, Scribble read the list and gave a sad chuckled “Nonsense I can’t afford all that. I haven’t an idea in my head for a story so there won’t even be bun for tea for quite some time.” She gave list back to Firelight.

“No,” Firelight said, “I O N.”

“Are you sure?” Autumn asked.

Three fouls stood in the coal shed, white sheet strung up and held in stretched out. Paint on in large black letter ‘LOOK OUT AT THE STAT…’, Autumn took the brush from Firelight and finished the word station, she stepped back “There! That should do it. Look out at the station.”

Firelight smirked “Definitely one of you best works Vincent van Colt.”

The maroon locomotive with the special couch steam out of the tunnel. The blue Unicorn look out of the window and blinked. He saw the colt who waved with the two fillies at the fence point with his hoof to the cloth with ‘Look out at the Station.’ Painted on, he didn’t know quite what to make of it.

The train started to slow and he heard Perk call out “Ponyville Station. Ponyville.”

He got out of his chair and went to the open window of one of the doors. He peered out. One of the fillies ran along the platform, several of the passengers in the coaches in front looked out as well. The filly spotted him and rushed up “Oh, I thought I’d missed you, you are the stallion who waves to us aren’t?”

“Yes, my dear I wave.”, she gave him a letter and said sweetly and desperately “Oh, please take this, we chose you because you had such a kind face…”

“Mind the gap please Miss.” Perks said getting her to move back, he nodded to the blue Unicorn “Sir.” He turned to the guard “Right away Mr Mikado.”

“Thank you, Mr Perks.” Mikado blew his whistle and flew his flag. He hopped into the open door at the back of the coach and shut the door behind him.

The driver blew the engine whistle and pulled the regulator, the locomotive pulled away. As it did the filly wave to the blue Unicorn, he waved back before ducking back into the coach and taking his regular seat. He glanced at the filly running out of the station before he opened the letter.

Finely written it read ‘Dear Sir. Forgive us for asking this of you but we have little alternative in our current state of affairs. Our Mother has become dreadfully ill and we are unable to afford the necessaries to help her recover as recommended by Nurse Redheart. We humbly ask if you would be kind enough to be the patron of our needs. You appear a kind soul and thus we hope you are so. Enclosed is a list of the recommended items. Please sir, she is the only parent with us at this moment in time. Signed Firelight, Autumn and Stone Waterbury.’

“Waterbury?” the stallion mutter, the name sounded familiar. But what kind of gentle-colt would he be if he didn’t help a sick mother and a trio of desperate children. He read the list and smiled, he would do some shopping in Canterlot during his lunch break, have the items sent to Ponyville Station and have Perks deliver them.

In the early evening, Perks, in his best suit and hat, must look smart when going to see a sick lady, his mother always said, slowly pulled the cart with wicker basket up the pathway from the station, up the hill to the Three Chimneys.

He stopped at the wall dividing the field and the roadway. Unhooked himself and took the basket in both forehooves. Walked up to the gap in the wall, but at the height he carried it the basket hit the wall. He lifted it up onto the top of the wall and ducked under. Too small. Took his head off and put it on top of the basket. Even still, quite a squeeze. On the other side, he put his hat back on his head. Grabbed the basket and trudged to the door.

He kicked at the door. It opened and Stone smiled “Good evening.”

“Evening.” Perks said try to shuffle into the narrow doorway. The fillies came rushing up and help him get the basket through.

With the basket on the floor he stood up and properly addressed the three “Good evening, the name’s Perks, but I believe we’ve met.”

“Yes,” Stone said, “you were busy because the signal-pony was having his tail cropped in the spa.”

Perks nodded “Yes, even busier now because he slipped on a bit of water floor and broke his daft leg.” He pointed to the basket “The Director asked me to fetch this up straight away.”

Firelight narrowed her eyes “The Director?”

“Yes, Lord Blue Moon, the Viscount Boxer, he’s Chair of the Board of Directors of the Equestrian Nation Railway, the gentle-colt on the 9:15 train.”, the foals’ eyes widened.

Stone stuttered his response “Thank you very much, Mr Perks. I’m very sorry but I don’t have any money to pay for your services like Father does.”

Perks held up his hoof “Stop that please. I wasn’t thinking about any money. I just came to say how very sorry I am to hear your Mom is unwell, and to ask her how she finds herself this evening. Oh, and I’ve,” he took his hat off and pulled out from inside it, a small bunch of flowers “I’ve brought her a small bit of sweetbriar rose,” he took a sniff “very sweet to smell. Money indeed.” He turned to Stone, the colt spoke “I’m sorry about the money.”

“No offence taken, just to show it, I’ll, have a look at that little blown up brass engine of yours.”

Stone smiled widely and ran to his room.

The fillies started to move the basket, Perks gave them a hoof. Then Stone rushed back with the little toy, Perks blinked at the state “That’s it?” He took the loose pieces from Stone’s hoof “A bit of a mess, isn’t it? Still I’m see what I can do, I may need to talk with Doctor Time Turner. Good Evening.”, the foals said his goodbyes and he left.

Blue Moon looked expectantly at the window, a couple of days ago, he gave the Waterbury foals a basket full not only of what they requested for the health of their mother Mrs Scribble Waterbury, but after recalling who they indeed were he took the liberty of supplying them with few luxuries he no doubt knew they missed.

He even wrote so in his letter to them, he could still remember the words ‘Dear Firelight, Autumn and Stone. Here are the things you want. Your mother will want to know where they came from, so please ask her to forgive me for taking the liberty of allowing myself a great pleasure. Yours Sincerely, Blue Moon, the third Viscount Boxer, Chair of the Board of the Equestrian National Railway.’

They passed the waving point and he smiled and waved. The Waterbury foals stood waving next to another sheet with ‘She is well, thank you.’ Painted on it. It made his heart warm.

Mrs Waterbury spoke sternly to her children “So that is an end to it.”, they nodded. Scribble continued “Now listen, it’s quite true that we are poor, but we shall have enough to live if I have ideas for stories. But you mustn’t go about telling ponies about our affairs it isn’t right and you must never, never, never ask strangers to give you things. Always remember that.”

“Yes Mummy.” They said solemnly together.

Scribble went to her desk “I shall write to Viscount Boxer and I shall tell him that I didn’t approve, I will thank him too of course, for his kindness, but it’s you that I don’t approve of, not the Viscount, he’s been extremely kind, you can give my letter to your Mr Perks to give to him.” She went to the door, just before she closed it she readdressed them once more “We won’t say any more about it.” And she shut it, almost in a slam.

Stone didn’t turn to his sisters but uttered “Isn’t see marvellous when she’s angry?”

Nurse Redheart walked down the streets of Ponyville on her day off from the hospital. She came up to the bridge and found Firelight sitting beside it at the river. She called down “Hello head nurse.”

Firelight looked up and smiled “That’s funny, I was thinking about you. I want to talk to you Nurse.”

“Your mother’s not worse I hope?”

“No, but…”

“Come on.” The nurse walked onto Firelight’s side of the bridge “We’ll go for a walk.”, Firelight got up and joined the nurse. As they slowly walked on a scenic route towards the Three Chimneys Firelight explained “It’s rather hard you see, to explain because of what Mother said.”

“What did your mother say?”

“She said I wasn’t to tell every-pony that we’re poor. But you’re not every-pony, aren’t you?”

“Not at all. Well?”

“Well I know doctors and nurses are expensive, but Mr Eyes said his nurse,” she glanced at Redheart, the nurse smirked and Firelight continued “only costs him a bit a week because he belongs to a club.”, Redheart nodded “Yes?”

“Well, could we join your club to please? The same as Mr Eyes?”, the nurse’s eyes widened and she became silent for a moment or two. Firelight grew concerned “You aren’t cross with me, are you?”

“Cross?” Nurse Redheart said as a smile grew on her face “Why would I be cross with you? You’re a very sensible young mare. Don’t you worry, I’ll sort it out with your mother, even if I have to make a special, brand new club just for her.”

They stopped at the door to the Three Chimneys and Firelight smiled with a nod went to the door. Once the door shut Nurse Redheart made her way round the back.

In the kitchen, Autumn and Stone, dressed more finely than usual walked up to her “Flame,” Autumn said in an exact and almost scripted voice “you’re to tidy yourself up in here.” She presented a ribbon “Here’s a new ribbon for you.”

A little bell rang, Stone and Autumn glanced to the door “There that’s to show the surprise is ready, when the bell rings again you can come into the dining room. Come on Stone.” And the two younger falls walked up past her.

Alone Firelight starred unsure at the ribbon, then realisation dawned on her “Of course.” She rushed to a mirror and took her apron off, her light purple dress would be suitable but she needed to tie the ribbon to her mane. She just did so when the bell rang again. She started to trot to the dining room, then stopped and began walking.

She opened the door. In the room stood her mother, siblings, Mr Eyes, Mr Perks and Nurse Redheart. A table sat in the middle with a cake.

“Happy Birthday Firelight.” They said together.

Firelight didn’t know what to think, bittersweet would be the best description. She stepped in and passed every-pony who gave her a present of some kind. Two little books from Nurse Redheart and Mr Eyes. A brooch of buttercups from her mother. Stone held out the cake with its lit candle “I helped Miss Pie bake it.” He said.

Firelight tried to blow the candle out but couldn’t.

Autumn gave her a crown of flowers “Happy Birthday Lanky.” She said before hugging her.

“She was beautiful as a butterfly…” Perks sang as he presented her with flowers “Proud as a Queen… Was pretty little Polly Perkins… Of Hoofington Green.” He flourished his hat and held up a glass of cider “Many happy returns.”

“Thank you.” Firelight said with tears in her eyes, she turned to Autumn “Lanky indeed.” She chuckled.

Stone whispered, “I hope you enjoy the cake.”, Firelight nodded “It looks lovely, thank you very much.”

She walked up to her mother and whispered, “Wouldn’t have Daddy have loved this?”, Mrs Waterbury’s face quivered slightly before she nuzzled her daughter.

After the party, Perks wen to the door “Thank you very much Mrs Waterbury.” He called “Have a goodnight. Goodnight Firelight, happy birthday!” and he walked back to town laughing.

On her bed and Autumn’s bed, her sister already under the sheets, Firelight looked over her presents, then she looked around for the brooch. She realised she left it in the dining room so went to get it.

She entered and immediately found it. She turned to leave when she heard a deep sob and she looked up. He mother sat in a chair by the fireplace looking up at the picture of Mr Waterbury sitting on the mantelpiece.

Firelight took a step forward, but then she turned back and headed to her room wondering what caused her mother to weep.

Buttons, Branded and Bravery

Major Green Fields sat in his office reading the message, Captain Sentry, or General now after Princess Twilight consulted Princess Celestia and Luna on the matter of his rank, and Prince Shining Armour would be coming down later in the evening to assess the platoon’s progress. He then checked the roster for patrol, for the river Vigil and Mr Waddle.

Porter came in with the tea, the Major smiled “Thank you Porter. I just want a second opinion.”

“Yes, sir.”, the Major asked about Vigil and Waddle. “Who’s the better of the two in your opinion?”

“Well, in the normal way sir, I would say Waddle, but he’s got this unfortunate, bladder trouble, sir.”, the Major nodded “Yes, that’s rather risky, an enemy could invade up the river while he had his flank turned.”

Caramel started calling “Major!” he entered the office “Rarity’s arrived with the uniforms.”

“Oh,” the Major grinned “that good news isn’t it Porter.”

“Yes sir, marvellous.”, the Major went leaned to the door and called “Bring them in here and I take them.”

“Rarity’s already opened them.” Caramel called.

“She has no authority to; those uniforms were already paid for.” He glanced at Porter “We should have got the pick of those.”, Porter nodded and followed the Major out.

Rarity stood, with Spike at a table set out in the hall with a load of tunics set out.

Cold Steel step up as the Major exited the office “Permission to speak sir?”

“Not just now Cold Steel. Fall in every-pony.” He looked to Rarity and smiled “You couldn’t have come at a better time.” He looked the tunics, Service Dress. Rich purple, chosen as the colour of the Everfree Kingdom, with dark blue trimmings. Collars to fit around the neck, four pockets on the front, each buttoned closed by a flap with a straight, horizontal, edge, large, epaulettes over each shoulder. The front of the jacket closed by five buttons, usually of a regimental pattern, arranged vertically.

Porter took his tunic “I agree sir, instead of looking like partisan we’ll look like a proper army.”

“Dash it.” The Major said, “I knew we should have got here first, they’ve left me one without buttons.”, Porter checked his “I’ve got the same.”
The Major turned around and barked “Platoon…”

“Permission to speak sir?”

“Not right now Steel, Platoon…” he stopped when he noticed something “Have none of these tunics got buttons on?”

“None sir.” The all said, and Cold Steel continued “That’s why I wanted permission to speak sir.”

The Major frowned and turned to Rarity, the Fashionista held her head high “I didn’t have enough of the type you wanted, and since I’m not an official military tailor I can’t order them. And you refused to allow me to use gem buttons.”

The Major fumed, sighed and returned to the platoon “Oh well, this won’t stop us. We’ve should have plenty of buttons at home, and I’m sure you have the skills or can persuade any friends with them. Now I want you to parade back here in one hour, by which time I expect to have everything absolutely buttoned up.”, a few the platoon chuckled, they fell out and went home.

The returned one by one. The Major waited in his office, with his crown symbol sown onto the sleeve of his tunic. Porter came in, with his sergeant stripes sown onto his sleeve, he said “Platoon ready for inspection sir.”

“Good.”, he walked out and Porter called “Platoon attention.”, Cold Steel still went slow. The Major rolled his eyes before looking down the entire platoon “Soldiers, that’s what they all look like, hey Porter.”

“Yes, sir.”, he followed the Major as he passed the platoon, Cold Steel, Caramel, Lucky Clover and Zecora all look perfectly fine, although the Zebra’s button looked to be the same brass as her rings, her collar looked a little tight with her neck rings, but tradition of her people and all so he let it pass, she would also need an armband with the red cross to show her status as First Aid advisor.

Then the Major stopped at Vigil, her button looked like wooden pegs, he felt one and Vigil spoke “They came off my spare overcoat sir, I’ve haven’t worn it since 990 and the moths go at it.”

The Major nodded “Lucky you didn’t get woodworm too.”, Porter chuckled, the Major then stopped at Waddle, his button contained gemstones “Those are rather flamboyant, aren’t they Waddle?”

“My dressed stud sir, it’s all I could manage at such short notice. I’m afraid the diamonds aren’t real.”, the Major rolled his eyes and went behind the front rank to look at the others.

Time Turner’s did look a little greasy. And the Major told Windy Miller not the wear his conical hat on parade in future. He realised he would need to contact a hatter to supply the platoon, not to mention get himself a new pecked cap to fit with the new uniform, although Zecora’s mane style would make it impossible for her to wear one.

When he finished, he walked to the other end of the hall and called “Platoon, stand at ease.”, he paused, waited for Cold Steel and gave a short speech “Well now every-pony, I’m sure you’ll agree this is a great moment, this is a great step forward in our progress, and it couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time. Because tonight, Captain Sentry, and His Highness, Prince Shining Armour are coming down to inspect said progress. Now I want everything prepared and ready, understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Fall out.”, the Major returned to his office.

Flash felt a little awkward as he and Shining Armour walked passed Sweet Apple Arches. The Captain of the Everfree Guard explained to his former superior officer about the need of this reverse. Shining seemed to be taken it in strides, even the part about including very old ponies.

They reached Kimblewick Hall and went to the Stable Hall.

They entered the hall and Porter called “Platoon, attention!”, he saluted “Good evening Captain Sentry, Captain Armour.”

Flash smiled seeing them in uniform and saluted back “Good evening Sergeant Porter. I want to speak with Major Fields.”

“Yes, sir.”, they walked to the office and Porter knocked, the Major called “Come in.”, Porter opened the door “Captains Sentry and Armour to see you sir.”

“Oh good,” the Major stood up “send them in.”, the two walked in and the Major saluted “Thank you for coming down,” he turned to the Prince of the Crystal Empire “Although I didn’t expect you to come down so suddenly Captain Armour.”

Shining smirked “Me, Cadance and Flurry Heart came down early for the special decree.”, the Major blinked “Special decree? You mean Her Majesty’s going to make the official announcement about the Everfree Kingdom?”

“In a months’ time, me and Cadance thought it would be nice to have a little holiday with our family, my parents are coming down too.”

“Splendid, we’ll be sure to put on a good parade.”, Flash nodded “I don’t doubt it with the drill I’ve seen, but I want an update on everything else. Also at some point I want to go through the details of the special defence exercise we’ve been talking about.”

“Yes, sir, we’ll talk about that at the weekend if it’s alright. As for now, we’ve been setting up.”, Armour held up his hoof “Can I just ask? Why are the button not stranded or in fact, uniform?”, Flash backed up slightly embarrassed. The Major explained. Shining raised an eyebrow “I see.” He turned to Flash “Have an order sent up to Goldings on Saddle Row.”, Flash nodded “Yes sir.”, Shining returned to the Major “Well, let’s what your ponies are able to do.”

They left the office and entered to the hall and the Major called “Platoon, attention.”, the Major turned back and saluted “May we carry on sir?”

“Please do.”, the Major nodded and turned to Porter, the Sergeant nodded and went over the side of the hall where a group of ponies sat looking at a poster with several silhouettes, Porter explained “These ponies are studying Aerial Enemy recognition.”, the poster included the silhouette of two Changelings, one Reformed like Cipher, with the word ‘Friend’ underneath and the other a Chrysalis Changeling with ‘Foe’ underneath, another of a Bugbear with ‘Foe’.

The Major spoke “We had debated putting a Griffon on but with the visit of the helpful Gabriella we consider the Griffons friend or foe on an individual basis.”, Shining and Flash nodded.

The Major then turned to a group, including Vigil standing at a table “Now here sirs we are learn the rudiments of map reading.”, Shining looked at the map of Ponyville and pointed to a symbol “What’s this?”, Vigil stepped up to the plate and glanced down “Town Hall sir, a building with a tower.”

“Map refence?”, Vigil’s eyes darted to the numbers “One, eight, six. Zero, zero three.”, Shining nodded and moved to another pointed “What’s that?”

“The Railway sir.”

“And that?”

“The North-Eastern Windmill.”

“And that?”, Vigil glanced down “A small speck of dirt.”, Shining frowned and look down closer “So it is.” He stood back up “Not bad, not bad at all.” He looked to one of the older stallions and called over Mr Waddle, he came over and Shining pointed “What’s that?”, Mr Waddle adjusted his glasses and peered down, after a few seconds he looked up “A map sir.”

Porter chuckled while the Major rolled his eyes and Flash grimaced. The Sergeant moved Shining and Flash over to a chair with a pony sitting in it and Zecora bandaging his arm, Porter explained “First Aid sirs, Zecora is our First Aid supervisor.”

Shining grinned “Twilight’s told me bit about you.”

“Nothing terrible I hope. Did she tell what happened with the Poison Joke?”, Shining smirked “No she didn’t I’ll have to ask, but I know what that plant’s capable of. How do you arrest arterial bleeding?”

“I tightly wrap the bandage making pressure here,” she pointed to one part of the leg “there,” she pointed to another and then to the neck “and there. Then I work with the upmost care.”

“What must you remember with putting wrapped pressure onto a patient’s neck?”

“It would kill the pony. Any who do that is a phony. Better to use your hoof. And relieve pressure any few minutes so not to cause any goofs.”, Shining nodded “You know your skills Zecora.”, she smiled.

The Major moved the officers on to Lucky and Caramel fighting each other “These two are practising unarmed combat.”

Flash spoke up at seeing their fight look more like a playground slap first “He wouldn't come at you like that. He's trying to kill you like this!” He charged. Lucky turned to let Flash pass and then bucked him in the flank. Flash went speeding into the wall.

Porter grimaced at the damage. Shining burst out laughing. The Major walked up to Lucky “Well done Clover. Coming along nicely.”

Flash got up and shook himself “A bit enthusiastic.”, the Major spoke “Every-pony here is keen sir. If you value your life, you won't trifle with them.”

Porter spoke up “Shall I fall the platoon in sir?” he looked to Flash “Have a more formal inspection while we all get our breath back?”, Flash nodded “Yes.”

“Fall in, three rank, quick as you can.”, the Major leaned in “Keeping Steel in mind keep the drill simple.”

“Yes, sir. At ease. Platoon, attention.”, after a pause the Platoon stood at attention altogether. The Major blinked and turned to Porter “Together, how did you manage that?”

“Well you see, there all taking Steel’s time. If you can’t beat him, join him.”

“Good thinking Porter.”

Shining and Flash looked down the ranks and stopped at the old ponies. Shining asked “How old are you?”

“Fifty.” Vigil said. Shining went Mr Waddle “Sixty-two.”, then to Cold Steel. “Sixty-five.”

“House.” Lucky called. The Major glared at him but Porter chuckled lightly chuckled.

Shining and Flash inspected Cold Steel’s medal ribbons. Flash raised an eyebrow “I don’t recognise some of those.”

“A bit before your time sir. One, two, three and four are general service. Five is the Saddle Arabian Campaign 958 to 961, my first campaign, joined the guard at eighteen sirs. Then we have six, Sultan Star given to me for fighting at the Battle of Ambleman.”, the pair’s eye widened Shining spoke “With General Kitchens?”

“That’s right sir."

“And Seven?”

“For try to relieve General Wide Fort. I’m sure you’ve seen the painted of his last stand.”, they nodded and Shining smiled “You must have some stories, Mr?”

“Cold Steel, sir.”

“We’ll have to listen to some of your stories.”, the two continued to inspect the ranks then returned to the Major. Flash looked to Shining and the Prince grinned and nodded twice, Flash nodded and back and returned to the Major “You’ve done well Major, you’ve got some way to go, but we’re impressed, congratulations.”, he shook the Major’s hoof, the Major smiled “Thank you very much sir.” He saluted as the pair left.
When they left, the Major called “I think we can leave for the rest of the evening, Platoon, dismissed.”

Next day in the office, the Major read a letter from Mr Waddle, he’d read it then asked Post-stallion Cipher to bring Waddle down.
The letter read ‘Dear sir. It is with much regret that I must tend to you my resignation, owing to personal reasons I feel I can no longer remain as a member of the Platoon. Therefore, I must ask you to accept my two weeks’ notice as from the end of the week. I remain dear sir, your obedient servant, Laurels Waddle.’

The Major wanted to know about these personal reasons before he could decide to either approve or dismiss this.

A knock came from the door “Come in.”, the door opened and Porter and Mr Waddle walked in, the elderly pony asked, “You want to speak to me Major?”

“Yes, I did Waddle. Sit down, will you? Stay here Porter I may need you. Now Waddle,” he passed the letter over “What’s the meaning of this?”

“It means I afraid I’ve got to leave sir.”

“You mean you’re feeling a little too old for active service now?”, he did count among the oldest of the Platoon, but Cold Steel held the record as oldest and he still seemed active enough, but then again, Steel did have years of active service under his belt. Waddle didn’t seem the Royal Guard type.

“No,” Waddle said, “Not really.” He put the letter on the table. The Major raised an eyebrow “What then?”

“Well, the other morning I got up a little earlier than usual, mind you I usually up about half-past seven because I help the kitchen staff at the retirement home make the early morning tea and coffee.”

“What does this have to do with your leaving?”

“I’m just coming to that. Now, where was it?”, Porter gave a prompt “You were just about to help make the early morning tea.”

“Oh yes, well I went to the larder to get the milk, and then I saw something that made me realise I couldn’t carry on any longer.”

“What in Celestia’s name was that?”

“A mouse.”

“A mouse?”

“Yes, you see, there was a great big pudding basin empty in the larder and this mouse had fallen into it and it was running around and around inside trying to get out. Of course, I knew I ought to kill it because the retirement home is infested with mice, so I managed to grab hold of it, and then, as I held it in my hoof, I felt its little heart beating and I could bring myself to do it.”

“So, what did you do?”

“I took it to Miss Fluttershy to take care of it.”

The Major sniffed and rubbed his forehead “Waddle, I’m still not clear to what this has to with your leaving the Platoon.”

“Don’t you see sir, if I couldn’t bring myself to kill that mouse, how could I possibly kill something like a Chrysalis Changeling or a Bugbear?”

“Well, you should have thought about that before joining the Home Guard.”

“Yes, but when the Home Guard started we seemed so desperate for ponies, I fought it would be different to what I expected.”

“Things are still desperate, there’s only three members of the Everfree Guard currently, we need every-pony we can lay our hooves on. What do you mean different from what you expected?”

“You see I didn’t think we’d be having to do too much military stuff. You see I’m a conscientious objector.”

The Major’s eyes widened “A what?” he exclaimed. He knew perfectly well what a conscientious objector meant. A pony who objects to serving in the armed forces. The Major couldn’t have heard Waddle correctly.

“A conscientious objector.” Waddle repeated.

The Major blinked “I can’t believe this Waddle, I just can’t.” He put his hoof to his forehead “I think you’d better go home.”

“Very good sir.” He got up and went to the outside door “I’m terribly sorry about this Major Fields. I’ve enjoy so much being with you all. I can only hope that my services have given every-pony satisfaction.”

The Major gritted his teeth “Get out.” He whispered. Waddle did so.

Porter waited until the door shut “Sir, don’t you think you’re being a little bit harsh? I mean I pony must follow his own inclinations.”
“I don’t know what to think. I’ll tell the Platoon about this, and Captain Sentry. Then maybe from their reactions I can see what’s best of the unit.”

In one of the special guard posts, set up in the town by the river, Caramel sorted out the evening coffee and tea. Usually Waddle did this but with the recent news of his views, well Caramel didn’t really mind but it seemed a lot of the former soldiers didn’t take kindly to the news.
He heard the door shut and turned as Vigil walked in “Evening Miss Vigil, had a nice patrol?”

“Same as usual.” She took her coffee as Cold Steel and Lucky Clover walked in. Lucky shook himself “Its half out tonight, summer’s coming and yet it feels like winter, how’s that possible?” He took a coffee.

Caramel rolled his eyes “You’re exaggerating Lucky.”

Steel looked around and smiled “Good old Caramel, I see you made so nice hot drinks.” He came over and took a cup of tea and took a sip and groaned “What did you put in this?”, Caramel frowned and took a cup himself and a sip, he turned back to Steel “Don’t you like it?”

“Well it’s not as good as what Mr Waddle makes.”, Vigil grumbled loudly “Don’t mention that name to me. To think we had a lily-livered conscientious objector in our ranks all time without knowing it.”, Bat Ponies pride themselves with the knowledge of their finest being the personal guard of Princess Luna, fine fighters and great soldiers, all brave to a fault.

Caramel looked to Cold Steel “What’s going to happen Mr Steel?”

“The Major’s going to keep him in the Platoon until he can find a replacement to keep up our numbers.”, Vigil shook her head “It’s a disgrace.”

Lucky spoke up “I don’t half feel sorry for the old colt, I think he’s a nice old gent. What do you think Steel?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been a solider all my life, I don’t think about conscientious objectors. Ours it not to reason why. Ours is to do or die.”
Steel referred a famous poem by Counsel Wine, about the bravery and loyal of a brigade of unarmoured and lightly armed members of the Light Calvary of the Fourth Regiment of Hoof, who after been given badly communicated orders charged into direct conflict with heavily armoured and armed Griffons. This happened several centuries ago.

The door opened and a familiar voice spoke “Am I too late to make the tea?”

Caramel walked away from the table “I didn’t think you were coming Mr Waddle. I’ve already made it, and the coffee.”, Waddle walked inside and Cold Steel and Vigil stood up, Vigil commented “Suddenly there’s an awful smell in here. Come on colts it’s time we were back on patrol.”, Lucky and Caramel followed.

Waddle carried a tin with him “I’ve brought some upside-down cakes. My friend Chelsea Porcelain made them specially, any-pony like one?”, Cold Steel looked ready to reach in and take one, but Vigil took his hoof and glared at him, Steel looked back to Waddle “No thanks Mr Waddle, I’m not very hungry.”

Caramel did take one, but Vigil flapped her wing and caused it to go out of his hoof, “Come on.” She said and stormed out. Lucky smiled at Waddle but left as well.

Alone, Mr Waddle frowned and took one of the cakes.

Flash stood next to a mock up hurt. Beside him Spike stood by and metal oven, the pipe going into the hut, and filled it with rags and set it alight to create smoke. Flash turned to him “I think you can stop put rags in Spike.”

“I hope this smoke test isn’t too much for some of the Home Guard Members Flash.”

“Don’t worry, they’re very keen I better they’ll fly through, some literally. Anyway, I’ll keep my eye on them.”

Hoof-steps sounded, Flash nodded “That sounds like them now.”

Porter called out “Platoon, halt.”, they stop, “Fall out.”

The Major saluted “Afternoon Captain.”

“Afternoon Fields. Ready?”, the Major nodded, “Right,” Flash looked to the Platoon “Gather around every-pony. Now this afternoon we’re going to do, rescuing an unconscious pony from a burning building.” He pointed to the hut “The hut is full of smoke. We’re burning damp rags.” He walked to the side “When you get inside the hut, you’ll find sacks full of straw, the sacks represent the bodies. When you get inside take hold of one of them, go out through the flap on the other side of the hut, and go over the wall with the body, some of you can fly over, the rest we’ve got a ladder.”

Lucky raised a hoof “What about all the smoke, we could suffocate.”

Flash smiled and shook his head “Not if you do it properly. I’ll show you.”, Spike unfurled a blanket, Flash got down on his knees “You keep your nose flat to the floor and you keep your mouth shut and breath the clean air under your body. Understand?”, the all nodded, Flash continued “Whatever you do, keep your nose on the floor and crawl along like this.” He shuffled along the blanket.

Lucky scoffed “You can tell by the shape of his noise he’s been practising.”, the platoon laughed, the Major glared at them.

Flash smirked as Spike giggled. The Captain cleared his throat loudly and to their attention again “This is a very dangerous operation so don’t take it lightly. Now Spike will go around the other side and count all seventeen of you off. If one of you doesn’t make it out I’ll come to rescue you, okay?”

They all nodded but the Major chuckled “I don’t think you need to bother we’ll all make it out okay.”, Porter looked unsure as the Major assembled the Platoon into a line “Now I shall go in first,” he said, “Won’t ask my soldiers to do something I can’t do.”

“Do you think that’s wise sir?” Porter asked.

“Porter, just get the Platoon ready to go through.” The Major went on his knees and crawled in.

Flash shouted over “First one coming through Spike.”

“Okay Flash!”

Cold Steel looked to Porter and asked “Permission to speak sir? Can I be the next one to go through the smoke.”

“Of you go Steel.”

“Thank you, Mr Porter.”, he got onto his knees and crawl into the entrance, but then he started moving backwards. The Major came out, Cold Steel sat up and saluted “Permission to apologise sir?”, the Major saluted back and stood up.

Flash walked up “What are you doing back Major?”

“There’s not enough smoke in there.”, Flash blinked, but shrugged and called over to Spike “Restart Spike, first one came back!”

“Porter?” the Major called as he stuffed more of the wet rags into the stove.

“Yes sir?”

“Start leading every-pony through, Steel in first.”

“Yes sir.”, Cold Steel started and Flash looked over and yelled “What in Luna’s name are you doing? Putting all those rags in, you’ll asphyxiate them!”

“If a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.”, Flash fumed and muttered as he walked away “Famous last words.”

After a while all Seventeen entered and, as quickly as they could, crawled out the hut. Flash and Spike waited as they exited. Flash hurried them to the ladder, the ones with wings like Lucky and Vigil flew over the wall with ease. Although one complained of a splinter in his nose, Zecora sorted him out. Spike asked about the smoke and Flash grumbling explained.

Cold Steel came out backwards and without a sack. He tried to go back in but Flash told him, by ordering him in the end, to forget it and just get over the wall, he knew what to do now.

At the other end the Major got the last few in, Mr Waddle stood last. The Major looked at him “Now Waddle you won’t leave this one.”

“I don’t want to leave it sir.”

“Jolly well like to wouldn’t you. Off you go. I’ll be right behind you, none of his objection stuff here.”, the got onto their knees and entered.
Back with Flash and Spike they counted, “Only two more.” He looked to Spike “You go over Spike.”, the dragon nodded and scrambled up the ladder.

Waddle came through and Flash held him up, he looked back to the shed “Only the Major left.”

Then wings beating sounded and Rainbow Dash landed a little frantic “Flash, we need you back at the Castle fast!”, Flash’s eyes widened and he turned to Waddle “Wait here for the Major, then when over the wall explain it to Spike, he’s knows what to do.”

“Yes sir.”, Flash spread his wings and followed Rainbow into the sky.

Mr Waddle stood at the hut waiting. After a couple of seconds, no-pony came through. Waddle walked up the flap and spoke “Are you alright Major?”, no response. Mr Waddle went to the wall and called “Spike! Sergeant Porter! Miss Zecora!”

No-pony or dragon came, Waddle turned to the hut. He pulled from his top tunic pocket and handkerchief and wrapped it around his nose. He got onto his knee “Alright Major Fields, I’m coming.” And he entered the smoke-filled hut.

Nurse Redheart felt Waddle’s pulse. The elderly pony sat up in his bed with pillows at his back. Beside the Nurse stood an elderly female Earth pony with a pale purple coat, bluish-grey mane and tail, purple eyes, and a cutie mark of a tea set. Waddle’s friend Chelsea Porcelain.
The Nurse smiled “You’ll be as right as rain in a day or two Mr Waddle.” She turned to Chelsea “See he gets plenty of rest.”, Chelsea nodded “Will it be alright for Major Fields, Captain Sentry and the Princess to come in now?”

“Oh, yes of course.” She said putting her equipment away in her carrier bag. Chelsea smiled and went to the door “Waddle will see you now.” She said as the Nurse passed by.

The Platoon, all of them, filed into the bedroom, causing a real squash for Twilight, Flash, Chelsea and the Major, who stood closest to Waddle.

Caramel gave Waddle some flowers, from both him and Sassaflash. Vigil threw over a very small bottle of cider. Zecora, one her remedies to help him convalesce.

Porter looked to the Major “Well sir, aren’t you going to thank him for saving your life.”

“Of course, I am.”

Cold Steel turned to the other “Give the Major a bit of room.”, every-pony shuffled and allowed the Major to get closer to Waddle, Green Fields took a deep breath “Well Waddle, I may have said some unpleasant things about you in the past, and I hope you can forgive me for those, I certainly forgive you and thank you for what you did. I’d like you to know that, deep down, we’re all very…” he paused as he glanced up to the picture hanging on the wall above Waddle’s head. He narrowed his eyes “What’s that photograph of you in uniform?”, he pointed his stick to it grabbing every-ponies’ attention to it.

Waddle looked up “Oh, that was after a sanctioned expedition to the Dragon Lands sir.”

The Major narrowed his eyes further. The picture in question showed Waddle not just in uniform, but also in a Silver Enlightenment’s clerical collar poking from under his tunic collar, and he wore a medal. The Major leaned closer to examine it. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped “Waddle, you’re wearing the Clover Cross!”, the room went silent as all eyes, apart from those of Chelsea and Waddle’s, darted wide to the picture.

Waddle nodded “That’s right.”

The Major looked down at him “But you said you were a conscientious objector?”, Waddle nodded “So I was.”

“Then how did you win the highest medal for bravery outside of combat in all of Equestria?”

Chelsea answered “Well, you see Laurels here is ordained in the Silver Enlightenment…”, Flash and Twilight looked to each other but said nothing as the aged mare continued “He joined the Military Chaplains’ Department, they’re non-combatant. During that expedition, he rescued several of his teammates who were trapped in a dragon’s cave, many times only just escaping the fire of the dragon.”
“Oh, please Chelsea, it wasn’t like that you’re over exaggerating, it was only a few times.”

“Well,” Cold Steel said looking back to look at Caramel, Lucky and Vigil specifically “I think we’re all, very sorry to have taken such a strong judgement towards you, Reverend Waddle.”, the Platoon murmured and nodded in agreement.

Flash stepped forward and asked, “What rank were you in the M. Ch. D?”

“Oh, I never got passed Fourth Rank.”, both Flash’s and the Major’s eyes widened, the Captain of the Guard spoke “That’s still equivalent to a regular Captain!”

“Oh, is it? Oh yes, I forgot.” He chuckled and looked to the Major “Don’t worry sir we don’t possess the duties or responsibilities of command. And we are only referred to as Padre.”

Twilight spoke up next to Flash “Reverend, do you think we could make you Padre of the Everfree Guard?”

Waddle smiled but shook his head “Oh no, thank you Princess but I’m much too old. However, I will provide my name if you need a reference to get a younger one from the M. Ch. D.”

“Well,” Porter said, “you’re not too old for the Home Guard.”, the Major turned to his sergeant and smiled “A very good idea Porter, thank you.” He turned to Waddle “Yes, from now on you are appointed Padre of the Everfree Guard Reserves, to take up your duties as soon as you feel fit.”

Waddle nodded “Thank you sir.”

The Major looked to the platoon “Well I think we should give the Padre space to breath and time to relax.”, every-pony agreed.

Twilight took Waddle hoof “Is it alright if myself and Flash speak with you in private?”

“Not at all your Highness, Captain.”, the platoon said their farewells and get well soon as they slowly left the room.

Before he left the Major turned back to Waddle “One thing I don’t understand Padre? Why have you never worn your medals? Even as a ribbon bars?”

“They seemed rather ostentatious.”

Flash snorted “Ostentatious?”, the Major nodded “Quite Captain. Why if I’d won the Clover Cross, or indeed the Celestia Cross, I would have been so proud I would have worn it on my chest for the whole world to see.”

Waddle smiled “That would have been alright for you sir, you look like a hero.”

The Major laughed and left. Chelsea nodded to the Princess and the Captain and left.

Waddle looked to the two and smiled “What do you want to talk to me about.”

Twilight glanced at Flash, he nodded, she smiled and looked back “We want to ask if you can give us a blessing.”, Waddle’s eyes widened, but then a smile formed on his face.

Don't Forget the Diver

Flash, Shining Armour went on a walk just outside Sweet Apple Arches, a rather important walk since it also involved Night Light, Shining and Twilight’s father, and Flash’s own father, North Sentry, an Earth Pony with a deep orange almost brown coat, and the standard cut blue mane of the Royal Guard, himself a former member of the First Regiment of Hoof, Major Green Fields did ask him in the possibility of joining the Home Guard, but with a ten year old son to take care of and as a glass worker, and having very attractive and amorous wife, his days and nights would often be packed. Still he did have the occasional story to tell. Today for the walk he wore his heavy-duty waistcoat.

At this moment, he talked to Shining and Night Light about one of his exploits during a tour in Saddle Arabia.

“Well there we were out in the desert, no food, and worse no water. My tongue was so swollen it filled my entire mouth. I would have sold my soul to the Devil for a drink.”

“Dad,” Flash said, “I don’t think Shining or Night Light want to hear about the Silver Enlightenment.”

Night Light grinned and turn to him “Oh it doesn’t bother me, I had a roommate at Celestia’s School who was Silver Enlightened.”, and Shining patted a hoof Flash on the shoulder “And I know a few good soldiers who are.” He gave Flash a quick smirk which surprised the Captain of the Everfree Guard.

Night Light turned to Shining “What’s this special exercise happening on Sunday?”

Flash looked around the area “I can’t say much Night, but it’s to see the planning and secretary skills of the Reservist. We’re setting up in the South-West Windmill.”

North glanced back “No more of that son, careless talk. Now where was I?”, Flash answered “You were in the desert dying of thirst.”
“Thanks Flash. Right yes, my tongue was totally black, and then I remembered an old trick of sucking a pebble, only trouble, no pebbles in the desert,” he chuckled “nothing but sand. But then I had an idea, and I pulled out my Silver Hunter.” From his pocket, he took out a silver pocket watch and opened the front cover of the Hunter Case, “Beautiful watch, it belonged to my father, even has an alarm. And I put it in my mouth, I kept it there for three days and no doubt about it, this watch saved my life.”

Night Light beamed with amazement “What a remarkable story.”, Shining appeared a bit sceptical and Flash looked oblivious, presumably having heard it before. North continue “What’s even more remarkable, when I took the watch out, it still worked perfectly, not lost or gained a second. I’ll show you, I’ll put this into my mouth for a minute or two and you’ll see, let me just set the alarm.” He did so and put it into his mouth.

Flash muttered “At least it’ll keep him quiet for a few minutes.”

On the way of their walk they came across the Major and Porter. The Major looked confused at North as he took a swig from a water bottle, and turned to Porter “Why has he got a watch in his mouth?”

“Perhaps he, watching his drink.” The butler chuckled “Just a little play on words sir.”, the Major shook his head.

Shining walked up “Well Major, are you looking forward to Sunday?”

“It should be an interest day.”

Flash smirked “You going to find it difficult in capturing the Windmill with me Shining, Chrome and Dauntless inside, and Dad’s volunteered too. How are you going to get across all the open ground?”

“Well find a way.”

Suddenly a little alarm went off and North pulled out the watch and laughed “What did I tell you.” He put the watch to his ear “And still going.” He turned around to look at the view from the hill they stood on “Well is that a view or is that a view?”

Flash smirked “You mean you don’t know Dad? You brought us all this way and you don’t even know it that’s a view?”, the other laughed. North smiled but shook his head “You know, I remember as a young colt up here I thought, what a good idea it would be to put up a flagpole with the Equestrian flag flying high over the Ponyville hills, or was that Foggy Dew’s idea? Oh yes, it was Foggy’s idea, me and Helmet Listener put followed his orders and put the pole up, but the thing fell over.” He laughs “Oh dear, the stuff we three got up to as colts. Different to what colts to today.”

Flash sighed “Dad I don’t think we want to hear all your stories. Anyway, you’ve still got a lot of you summer wine left.”

“Sorry I just like remembering.” He turned to Night Light “What kind of stuff did you get up to as a colt in Canterlot?”, now both Flash and Shining rolled their eyes this would be a long afternoon.

The Major and Porter walked away, the thought about how to capture the Windmill filled the Major’s mind, he would have to discuss this with the Platoon.

In the hall, the Major stood before a chalkboard, the Platoon sat around in front.

“And so, every-pony,” the Major spoke “this is without doubt, the most difficult exercise we have so far tackled.” He turned to the chalkboard, a curd map of the area for the exercise “To sum up then.” He tapped parts with his officer’s stick “Here is the Windmill,” right in the middle of the board “inside Captains Sentry and Armour, with North Sentry, Chrome Blade and Dauntless Doo. A wall up here,” indicating to a line at the top corner, then down to a wavier line near the bottom “The river here, boathouse here,” at the left corner, then to tree, three beside the boat house, and other at the top right corner “And here bushes and trees,” he then circled his stick around the black of the board “All around the Windmill complete open ground and not a scrap of cover anywhere. Now our job is to get across the open ground and plant a dummy explosive inside the Windmill.” He turned to the platoon “Any suggestions?”

“Permission to speak sir?” Cold Steel asked, “What about a tunnel sir?”

“Tunnel?”

“Yes sir, we can all go behind that wall, and we can dig a hole, we go deep down and then we dig straight, then when we think we are under the mill we did up and Celestia willing we’ll be in the mill.”

Beside him Lucky scoffed “Or else in Griffonstone.”

The Major sniffed “I think you’re entering the realms of fantasy Steel. Logistically and timewise it would be too much trouble to dig.”

Porter spook neck “I’ve got an idea sir, I remember a play, I can’t remember the title, but some King, dressed his troops up in bushes so they could attack the offending castle.”, the Major hummed and tutted “That’s an old military trick Porter. And we’re facing against two officers of the Royal Guard, I got trained to look out for that trick, so no doubt they’ll have been also.”

Time Turner tapped his hoof on his chin before speaking “I have an idea Major, what if one of us disguised ourselves as a log then we could float down to river to mill.”

The Major paused “Yes, that sounds a rather good idea, the only thing is some-pony would have to push the log, and I don’t think any-pony can hold their breath for long.”

Caramel spoke “We could hire a boat and have it toe the log.”

The Major shook his head “No, that area of the river is cordoned off, no boats are allowed, if we sailed one up and the enemy in the Windmill saw it they would know something was up. We’d need another way of moving the log.”

“Well,” Time Turner said, “going back to pushing, why no some-pony in a diving suit?”

Every-pony laughed, well expect for Vigil.

“Don’t be absurd Turner.” The Major said chuckling “Who’s got a diving suit.”

Vigil raised her hoof “I’ve got a diving suit.”, they all turned to her. The Major eye widened “You have? How did you come be that?”

“Well,” the Mortician said sitting straighter “many years back I was in the South Luna Ocean with a fellow failed apprentice Breton his name was,” she sighed “we were lovers. We were diving for pearls so we could get the money to open a shop together.”

The Major rolled his eyes, now came one of Vigil’s long stories, just as bad as North Sentry.

As Vigil spoke the memories played across her mind, her eyes glazed over into a thousand-yard stare as she relived those events.

She stood on the deck handling Breton’s pipe and lifeline while some locals they hired worked the pumps. The sea crystal clear and smooth as an infant foal’s top lip.

Suddenly she felt four pulls on the lifeline, it meant he wanted to come up, and from the harsh tugging it must have been trouble. She looked down and she gasped.

Breton wrestled for his life, with a giant squid.

Vigil didn’t hesitate. She grabbed a spear and dived. Down into the depths. She plunged the head deep between the two large, hideous eyes. The sea filled with the black ink of the squid. She gave the signal and up they came.

Back on the deck she unscrewed his helmet. She gasped and laid him down. The locals pulled Breton up too quickly. Breton suffered a fatal attack of the bends. Decompression sickness, going from the high pressure of the ocean to the low pressure of the air caused his lungs to burst.

Vigil cradle him in her lap, as tears fell down her face. His hoof took hers “V,” he said, “when you get back, make sure my mother gets all my property.”, Vigil leaned downed and kissed his forehead. He exhaled.

Overnight she built her first coffin since leaving the Necropolis, and they buried him at sea.

Back in Equestria Vigil found Breton’s mother and explained everything. But on the matter of property, apart from the clothes he got from the Necropolis and the odd picture, Breton only owned the diving suit and the pumps, nothing else. His mother said she couldn’t take it, no use for it. Vigil reluctantly payed for it and took it with her. It sat in a spare room.

As she finished with tears down his muzzle her expression turned to dread “Every time after that, whenever I went down in that diving helmet, I could hear dear Breton’s voice cry out. Help. HELP!”

The Major, sitting down with Porter, rubbed his hoof over his face. He stood up and cleared his throat “So, we take it you have a diving suit.”
Lucky spoke up “Hey sir, maybe instead of getting a dummy log to hide, maybe we can persuade Cipher to disguise himself as one.”
The Major shook his head “We’re not allow to enlist outside help for the exercise itself, we can only use what we can supply ourselves or what we find on the exercise ground. Besides as far as we know about Changelings, they can only cast illusions around their bodies, not anything else, so the fake explosive would be out in the open.”

“Permission to speak sir?” Cold Steel spoke “I’ll got to Miss Cheerilee and I’ll borrow that imitation log for the School’s Hearths Warming Pantomime, it’s my size.”

“I don’t think she’ll approve.”

Waddle, now wearing uniform appropriate to a military chaplain, clerical dogs colour and black shirt underneath his tunic and pecked cap with a cross badge, spoke up “Well Miss Cheerilee appears to do anything if it allows her time with Big McIntosh Apple, I could arrange a proper date for them.”

Porter spoke up “Do you think that’s wise? Remember that Hearts and Hooves Day a couple of years back.”

“Oh, it wasn’t their fault, it was those sweet Cutie Mark Crusaders trying to do something nice and things got out of hooves.”

Zecora nodded “No-pony involved should guilt on their conscience. No-pony knew of the Love Poison’s potence.”

The Major mulled over this before finally saying “Very well, there’s nothing else we can do tonight. We’ll parade here tomorrow night and discuss the plan in detail. Dismissed.”

Next evening the Major, with a bird warbler around his neck, checked over Vigil inside the diving suit, she did not have the glass in she could breathe without the air pumps. Time Tuner and Windy Miller stood ready at the pumps.

Once he knew her to be okay he walked down the hall, the other of the platoon all spread out. “Right,” the Major said, “lets run through the plan in detail.” He stopped at the chalkboard and pointed to the boathouse “Now we’re here in the boathouse. And Vigil will push Cold Steel in the log up the river to be level with the Windmill. Now,” he turned back to Vigil “what do you do when your level with the Windmill Vigil?”
“You give me one tug on my lifeline. Then I stop, and give a responding tug on the line myself.”

“Good, now after Vigil has stopped I will give one blast on my bird warbler,” he turned to Porter “and what do you do then Porter?”

“When you’ve given your warble sir, I shall start to create the first diversion.”

The Major nodded “Right, Clover?”, Lucky Clover responded “Well, when you’ve warbled and Sergeant Porter starts the first diversion, I going to help him with it.”

“That’s right, what happens then Vigil?”

“While the diversion is attracting the attention of the defenders in the Windmill. I quickly tilt Steel in the log onto the bank.”

“Excellent.” He looked to the office “Steel? Where’s Steel?”, Lucky answered “He’s dressing up as a log.”, the Major sighed and shouted, “Hurry up Steel, shouldn’t take you all this time to dress up as a log.”

Lucky went to the door and opened it, he held his hoof out “And here we have Betty, in a nutty little one-piece woodland ensemble.”

Steel shuffled sideway out of the door in a tree made from rubber, his back hooves just sticking out from under the bottom. He then waddled up the major. The large branch on the left bent inward looking like the tree saluted.

The Major spoke “Alright, stand easy Steel.”, the tree dropped to the floor. The Major hummed and turned to Porter “What do you think Porter?”

“I don’t know what to think sir, I really don’t.”

“Well it’s too late to change are plans now, we’ll just have to go through with it and hope of the best.”, the Major turned to the tree “Steel? Where are you?”

Half-way down the trunk a little flap opened and Steel’s face appeared within it “I’m here sir.”

“I see. Now, we’ve just gotten to the bit where you’ve been tipped onto the bank.”, Steel nodded, “Alright, what do you do then?”, the tree got up causing the Major to back up a bit. From inside the tree Cool Steel explained “While Sergeant Porter is diverting I make my way up to the Windmill.”

“That’s right.” He turned back to the Platoon “Now when Steel reaches the Windmill I shall give two blasts on my bird warbler, and what happens then?”

Waddle came up “When I hear you give two warbles on the warbler I start the second diversion.”, then Lucky added “And I help him with it.”
“That’s right.” The Major said and turned to Steel “Now Steel, the second diversion will give you enough time for you to get to the mill. You flatten yourself along its sides, so Captain Sentry and the others inside cannot see you.” He walked to the board and continued “You then divest yourself of the log, and climb up the ladder here.” He pointed to the crudely drawn ladder on the Windmill “And throw the bomb through the window.” He turned back and almost ran into the tree he pushed Steel back before asking “How are you going to carry the dummy bomb?”

“I shall have that tied between my legs sir, I tried my tail, but it was too painful.”

“How will you do that?”

“I shall have a piece of string tied around my waist and the bomb with dangle between my knees sir. And at of point of my choosing I will untie the string and the bomb with drop onto the floor sir.”

“I see,” the Major said a little unsure, he turned to Porter who held an alarm clock on string “Give him the time bomb Porter.”

“Yes, sir.” Porter walked up to the log and looked about “Keep still a moment Steel. A little difficult sir, I can’t quite see how I’m going to get the…”, in mid-sentence a little door at the bottom of the tree opened and a hoof grabbed the clock. The door shut.

Porter chuckled “Rather neat wasn’t it sir”, the Major sighed “Alright, tie it on Steel.”, the tree stood up and being leaning about. The Major said, “Do hurry up I want to try this out.”

“I’ve only got one pair of forelegs sir.”, the Major rolled his eyes “Give him a hoof Clover.”

Lucky nodded and knelt at the door flap. Cold Steel explained “Now look Lucky I’m tying a knot so put you’re hoof on it.”, Lucky reach in. Steel then said, “Not there!”, Lucky moved his hoof. After a little while he stood back up. The Major ordered “Let’s see you try to release the bomb. Off you go.”

The tree start jumping and shuffling. Then the clock fell out.

Lucky reared up let out his wings and did a chicken impersonation. The Major glared at him before turning back to Porter “Well that seemed to work.”

“Yes, would you like me to put the bomb back in again?”

“Oh no, we can’t go through all that nonsense again, let’s just assume it’s inside. Now standby every-pony because I want to run through this from the start. Take up your positions.”

A bunch on the Platoon wheeled in a trolley and readied to put Steel in the log onto it.

The Major walked over to Vigil “You alright Vigil?”

“Yes sir.” She turned to Doctor Time Turner and Windy “Now don’t forgot boys, remember what I taught you and keep up a nice steady pressure.”

Turner nodded “Don’t worry Miss Vigil we’ll keep pumping.”, she nodded and looked to Caramel how cleaned the glass “And don’t forget the signals. If I give four tugs on the lifeline that means I want to come up, it you give me four tugs you want me to come up.”

Caramel nodded “I’ve got Miss Vigil, two different signals, four and four.”

“Clever boy.”, the Major rolled his eyes “Put the glass in Caramel.” Caramel screwed the glass into place and the Major turned to Turner and Windy “Start the pumps.”, they began cracking, and the suit started to fill with air. The Major turned to the other side of the room “Porter, Padre, take up your positions.”, they did so, and the Major returned to Vigil, and helped her up “Now let’s get her into the water.”, they guided her to the trolley with Steel in the log lying flat on it. The Major tapped her on the shoulder and she started to inch her way forward.
“Now Vigil makes her way out of the boathouse, into the open river.”

“Gurgle, gurgle.” Steel yelled “Gurgle, gurgle.”, the Major narrowed his eyes and walked up “You alright Steel?”

“Yes sir, that’s just the water gurgling against the sides.”, the Major turned back and shook his head “I see.” He walked up the wall. Standing on it, a pole with a mirror attached “Now I shall be looking through my periscope,” he took it and lifted up to eyes level and push it parallel to the wall and looked at the mirror, giving him a view of the hall “Vigil is now submerged and is pushing the log along the river. She has now reached a point opposite the Windmill.”

Caramel gave a tug on the lifeline. Vigil stopped and tugged at hers once.

The Major gave a warble and looked at the makeshift periscope “Now that’s the signal for the first diversion. Porter?”

“Yes?” The butler called from the end of the hall with Lucky and two other ponies.

“Are you diverting?”

“We’re doing it behind the wall sir.”, the Major looked at him “That means I want able to see you.”

“Well, of course not, we’re doing it behind the wall.”, the Major fumed “Alright let’s start again.” He turned to Caramel “Give four tugs on the lifeline Caramel.”

“Right sir, thank you very much.” He gave the tugs with a little too much force and Vigil fell onto her back. Quickly Caramel got to her side as did Zecora and Lucky to help her up. Once up they could just see through the glass she started gasping at the pipe in her mouth. The Major turned to Turner and Windy “Turner more air!”

“We’re pumping as hard as we can Major, doesn’t help the pump is a little shift.”

“Major!” Lucky called.

“Yes?”, the grey Pegasus pointed to Caramel’s back hooves standing on the pipes. The Major quickly push him off.

Porter spoke “Perhaps we should take her helmet off sir.”

Caramel answered “Oh, you can’t do that Sergeant, she might get the bends in her head.”, Lucky snorted “No-pony would tell the difference.”
The Major tapped lightly on Vigil’s shoulder and when she turned to him he raised his right hoof, a common gesture to mean approval, as in say something his okay. Vigil raised her right hoof as well, anything okay on her end. The spare members of the Platoon pushed her and Cold Steel back to the start.

The Major went to the log, Cold Steel still gurgled away. The Major asked “Alright Steel.”

“Yes sir, okay sir.” A right hoof come out of the door. The Major nodded and went back to the wall, he got a little tangled in the pipes and lifeline. When he reached the wall, he turned back to address the platoon “Take up your positions every-pony. Everything ready?”

“Late Post Major!” called a voice and Cipher walked in and stopped “What going on here.”

“This is no concern of yours Cipher.”

“Whatever it is its surreal, a pony dressed up in a diving suit, pushing a pony on the trolley dressed as a log. I can hardly believe my eyes, even we Changelings couldn’t come up with something so bizarre.”

“Gurgle, gurgle. Gurgle, gurgle.”, Cipher blinked “What was that?”

“That’s the water gurgling passed.”, Cipher blinked and handed the letters over “Don’t go away, Fluttershy has got to see this.”, he quickly flew off. The Major blinked “Fluttershy?”

Porter called out “Perhaps he’s convinced her of a little ride through the countryside.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Porter, you can get hopelessly romantic sometimes. Let’s start again.”

Just then the door to hall opened and Cipher, followed by Riolu and to every-ponies surprise indeed Fluttershy rushed in. Riolu rubbed his eyes. And Cipher looked to the shy Pegasus “What did I tell you Fluttershy, a pony in a diving suit, pushing another pony on a trolley, dressed as a log.”

“Oh my,” Fluttershy said blinked “I hope they’re both okay. What in Equestria is this about?”

The Major called over “This is top secret, it involves the exercise on Sunday. You must keep it a secret.”, Cipher tilted his head and turned to Fluttershy, the mare nodded and Cipher shrugged “What the military get up to.” And the Post-stallion and company left.

In the South-West Windmill the defenders stood guard.

Flash and Shining looked out one window looking towards the river. North Sentry looked out the one of the other looking over most of the open ground. Dauntless and Chrome stood about the room, currently they played Go Fish.

The Prince of the Crystal Empire turn to his former lieutenant “What’s the update on the military chaplain?”

“Ones been picked and will be here by next week, apparently, they’ve chosen one straight out of Crown’s House in Fillydelphia. Twilight’s offered him a room in the Castle if he can’t find any other accommodation.”

“Didn’t she get Mayor Mare to give Cipher his own home?”

“Only so many houses spare to go around, why do you think the Waterbury family are in the Three Chimneys up on the hill? Speaking off Cipher what do you think of him?”

“Decent pony. I’ve still got some reservations over Changelings but the town like him and he isn’t causing any trouble, just like Thorax when he stayed with us.”, Flash smirked “Cipher’s not going to grow those odd mandible horns is he?”, the two chuckled. Shining spoke “I’ve seen the way he and Fluttershy glance at each other, reminds me of me and Cadance,” he then glanced and Flash “And a certain other relation and a guard.”, Flash blushed and glanced away.

From his window, North Sentry called over “Any sign of the Major and his lot Flash?”

“Nothing so far Dad.”

“Well,” he checked his watch “it’s only quarter-to, they’re not due to start until two o’clock.”

Shining came over “I make it quarter-past North.”

“What? Good heavens the Silver Hunting must have stopped.” He started winding it up. Flash walked over “You know Dad, I don’t know how the Home Guard are going to get over all that open ground.”

North chuckled “I think we should keep our eyes open for a load of bushes.”

Shining tapped his hoof on his chin “That old trick?”, Flash shrugged “Considering how old-fashioned the Major can be I wouldn’t be surprised.”

In the boathouse, the Major watched as Caramel finished putting Vigil into the diving suit. “Right, just a quick check before start.” He turned to the fake tree beside him “Steel?”, Cold’s face appeared at the top flap “Sir?”

“Have you go the dummy bomb tied between your legs?”

“It’s quite comfy thank you sir.”

“Right, I’ll have a look it you don’t mind.”, he opened the door at the bottom and peered in “That’s good.” He shut it and turned to Caramel “Put the glass in.”, Caramel screwed it into the place and the Major turned to the corner where Doctor Time Turner and Windy Miller stood ready “Start the pumps.”, the two began cranking.

Vigil started pulling on her lifeline, Caramel spoke “Major? Miss Vigil’s just pulled four times on her lifeline, that means she wants to come up.”, the Major frowned “She’s already up you clown. Stop pumping.” He unscrewed the glass “What’s the matter Vigil?”

“I just want to scratch my nose.”, the Major groaned and shook his head “Alright then, hurry up.”, Vigil raised her hoof and rubbed her nose for a second or two. Then she put it down. The Major frowned “That enough?”

“That’s it.”, the Major rolled his eyes and put the glass back in and called “Right start the pumps.”, Turner and Windy started turning the cranks again.

Caramel began doing so last checks as the suit filled and he helped her climb down into the water. The Major turned to the tree “Ready Steel?”

“Yes sir, okay, thank you sir.”

“Good luck.”, Steel’s hoof came out of the door. The Major took it and shook, then he turned to the spare members of the Platoon “Right, lower him down onto the raft.”, as they did so the Major then helped Caramel with helping Vigil into the water.

The door to the boathouse opened and the log on a raft, just visible above the waterline came out, followed by a diving helmet, which then went under the water, only a small amount of bubbles showed any evidence of something there. The raft then floated down the river.

In the boathouse, the Major put the makeshift periscope out and looked at the mirror “Right, they got to a place level to the Windmill.
Caramel gave a pull on the lifeline.

The raft stopped.

A tug from the lifeline came from Vigil.

The Major nodded “Take over the periscope Caramel, I’m going to sound the signal.”, Caramel took hoof of the pole and the Major went over to the other end of the boathouse, put his bird warbler to his mouth and gave a blast.

Flash looked through his telescope and said, “I think they’ve started.”, North and Shining came over with their own spyglasses and Flash pointed “Over at the wall.”, they all looked through their binoculars and telescopes. North spoke out loud “What the Devil are they doing?”
Behind the wall, a large group of spears bobbed up and down moving along it, they could hear Sergeant Porter giving out the commands. North narrowed his eyes “Why are they drilling? They ought to be attacking us. It’s typical of the Major’s Coronal Blimp mentality.”

Shining asked “Do you think it could be a trick?”

North shook his head “No, it’s impossible, I count fifteen spears it a whole platoon.”

Flash narrowed his eyes ‘Fifteen?’, did the Major seriously give Zecora and Reverend Waddle spears?

Shining inched up to Flash and whispered, “Was your dad like this in the First Hoof.”, Flash shrugged “He had some truly awful experiences with pompous officers, I don’t know much, but I know he really hates old officers, he might be having a relapse.”

On the riverbank, Vigil surfaced and pushed the raft closer to the bank before pushing the log with Steel inside it onto the back. With the tree on the ground she submerged again and made her way back to the boathouse.

Meanwhile Steel found the top flap of the tree, the one allowing him to see, stuck. He stumbled off hoof first into the river. He struggled onto the raft again and stumbled onto the bank. Meaning he’d lost time.

The defenders still watched the spears.

Then Porter called “About turn!”, suddenly the spears went in reverse.

Shining blinked “Why are they marching backwards?”

Flash commented “Something’s up. It can’t be all the platoon, but how’s Porter doing that?”

Behind the wall, Porter, Lucky Clover and two other ponies carried a special rig with the spears tied to it.

The marched to the end of the wall and Porter called “About turn!”, the carriers turn around, but the spears didn’t.

Porter skill called out the orders then glanced to Lucky “Lovely, isn’t it? About turn.”, they turned around again and the spears went backwards again.

Waddle, standing in a field of sheep, next to a large and loaded sack, waited at his post when two warbles sounded. ‘Oh dear,’ the vicar thought ‘there’s the signal, where can Lucky have got to?”

The Pegasus landed “Hey Padre haven’t you started the diversion yet?”

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

“I’ve been helping Sergeant Porter with his diversion I can’t be everywhere. Let’s get on with it.” He reached into the sack and pulled out a helmet and he explained “We put these helmets on the sheep and then we take them up to the mill.”

“I can’t see why we should put the helmets on the sheep.”, Lucky rolled his eyes “Because when they see them coming they won’t know if it’s us dressed up as sheep or not. And while they try to figure it out Steel will be in the Windmill.”

The tree made its way up to the Windmill making a surreal sight.

Steel opened the flap to get his bearings.

A bark sounded and he looked down. A dog sat neck to him. Steel yelled at it “Clear off, go away.” He stood up and ran, the dog followed. When he reached the Windmill, he stopped and looked back at the dog “Clear off.” He whispered. But the dog started sniffing his hooves ‘Oh dear.’ He thought.

In the boathouse, Caramel called “Major? Mr Steel has reached the mill.”

“Right,” the Major called and addressed the Ponies in the boathouse, including Vigil, out of the diving suit, sitting down and rubbing her hooves through her mane “now we’ll meet up with Porter and others at the rendezvous and move in for the final assault.” He moved to the door.

Vigil stood up, but stumbled slightly. Caramel came running up and steadied her “Have you caught a douse of the bends Miss Vigil?”

“No colt come on. Good work with the lifeline and pump every-pony.” And they left.

Steel finally got the dog to go and got out of the log. The clock attacking as the bomb bangled just below his flank.

Half-way up the ladder the alarm went off. He tried to reach behind himself to stop it.

“Listen,” Shining said “sounds like an alarm.”

“Ah!” North said, “It must be my watch.”, Flash narrowed his eyes as the alarm stopped “Sounded as if it came from the back.”, he started to turn when his father yelled looking through binoculars “Good God! Look at this!”, the two officers looked through their spyglasses and blinked, Flash spoke first “Not bushes, but…”

Shining finished “Sheep with helmets on? Have they gone mad?”

“We’ve won!” came a voice from behind, they turned around as Cold Steel at the window threw the alarm in.

Down of the ground the Platoon assembled and Lucky spoke “He’s done it sir, he’s thrown the bomb in.”

North Sentry threw the clock out. Steel dodged it. The ladder tipped. Steel caught hold of one of the Windmill sails.

The Major called “Come on, some of you try and get him down. The rest come with me to get their surrender.”

On the sail, Steel yelled “Don’t panic, don’t panic!”

The Major walked to the door and called “Don’t worry Steel we’ll get you down.” He tapped on the door.

North opened it, the Major spoke “I’ve come to accept your surrender.”

“What are you talking about I threw the bomb back.”

“Don’t split hairs we’ve won.”

“Total rubbish, we won.”

Shining came down and put his magic shield between “We’re not going to get an argument, not with Mr Steel up there. Let Captain Sentry decide.”

Flash came out the doors and glared at his father “This exercise was to see if the platoon could get the bomb in without being spotted, which they did.” He turned to the Major “Therefore in the context of this exercise, we surrender.”

Then they felt a gush of wind.

Cold Steel started shouting as the sail started moving “I’m alright! Don’t panic!”. He went around twice. Then when he reached a point where the sails levelled with the river he jumped off. He dived into the river.

The Platoon rushed to him as he emerged.

Lucky snorted “Great dive Steel, I’d give it a ten in the Equestria Games.”

Cold Steel shivered as he got up, but he saluted the Major “Mission accomplished sir.”, the Major smiled “Well done Steel.” He turned to Zecora “Give him something warm.”, she nodded and the Major turned to the rest of the platoon “The rest of you let go pack up.” They all nodded.

Flash walked up to the Major “Very well done Major, some things were a little shaky, I’ll want a full report of the plan.”
“Of course, sir.”

“But me and Shining Armour and spoken and we think we can arrange a weekend of advanced training in Canterlot.”

“Really?”, Flash nodded “But we’ll get back to you on that one.”, the Major nodded and saluted, then he went to help the Platoon.

Author's Note

Next time we see North Sentry it'll be in a more sympathetic light.

Move Along the Bus Please

It is breakfast time in Ponyville.

In Cipher’s house, you’ll find Fluttershy walking about excitedly. And Cipher himself is finishing his morning tea. He put the cup down and turned to Riolu. The Jakhowl put his favourite bone down and stood up ready. Cipher nodded and stood up from his chair “Time we were off, it’s not our usual day today.”

Fluttershy turned to his and grinned “It’s very exciting, I feel like Pinkie Pie.”

“I feel nervous. Will any-pony want this with the railway?”

“The railway can’t go where you go Cipher.”

“Yes, but do Ponies want to go where I go? If not this is going to cost the Post Office, and we haven’t technically broken from the main Postal Service, not until Princess Celestia makes the official decree. But, if this is what Twilight wants to strength the community, and give me more company while on the rounds, I have to do what she says.”

“Well, I sure you’ll find a way of making it useful. I need to get back to the cottage.” She came closer and looked about to do something but she paused, bit her lip and hid in her mane before flying through the door and out, but she called back “Bye Cipher, good luck.”

Cipher sighed, he and Riolu walked out, not before Cipher checked the barometer, it said it would be a fine day.

Cipher shut the door and turned to leave when Bulk Biceps squeezed out his front door and trudged over to check a peanut cart, the muscular Pegasus turned to Cipher “Morning Cipher,” then he looked up and the open space beside his neighbour’s house “Where’s your mail cart?”

“I’m taking the coach today.” And the Changeling and Riolu walked away.

Bulk frowned in confusion “Taken the coach? He’s going to deliver the post on a trainer? Then why didn’t he ask me to give him a lift? I bet I could carry him.” He shrugged and fluttered away.

At the Post Office itself, Major Fields read the notice on the window. Miss Cheerilee and Big Mac stood close by. The Major nodded “Dash good idea.”

Cheerilee looked unsure “It’ll be extra work for Cipher though.”

“Yep.”

Just then, Cipher and Riolu arrive “Morning every-pony.”, the Major nodded “Morning Cipher.” And he walked off.

Miss Cheerilee smiled at the Jakhowl and scratched behind his ear “Hello Riolu.”, the pup’s eyes fluttered, she chuckled and turned to Big Mac “I’d better head to school, I’ll see later Big Mac.”

“Yep.” The two smiled at each other and walked off in opposite directions.

Cipher nodded his byes to the two and enter the Post Office. Muffins as usual sorted out the letters and parcels. Cipher walked up “Morning Muffins. We’re ready to go, hope you’ve got the reins safely.”

Muffins smiled and nodded “Oh yes Cipher, and good morning to you too.” She reached under the desk and pulled out a harness “Here they are.”, Cipher took them “Thanks very much. This is exciting.” He turned and walked to the door, he called back “I’ll pop back in for the letters and parcels when I’ve got her warmed up.” He walked out and down the High Street ‘I left it down the next street, out of the way.’ He passed a house ‘Somewhere around this corner.’ He looked around it and smile ‘Ah, there she is.’

From the corner, the sound of climbing up steps and the bending of carts springs drifted in the air, then the charging of magic, and the flick of reins. Something rolled out of the corner, but not Cipher regular auto-magic cart.

It looked like a horse drawn carriage, but being auto-magic no-pony need pull it. In a purple colour with the words ‘Royal Everfree Mail Coach.’ Written on the doors beside it a crown, not like any of the crowns seen before, not Celestia’s, be it her usual tiara or her official crown, the one she wore during Twilight’s coronation or Luna’s, or Cadance’s or Twilight’s original diadem with the symbol of Element of Magic, or the second simpler one after the Summer Sun Celebration with the Plunder Plants. This new coronet looked like three plates on hinges. A purple tree painted on the front plate, and above them for some reason, not the star of Twilight Sparkle, but a cross, neither Cipher, or Muffins could figure out why Twilight specified a cross for the heraldic representation of the Everfree Crown. Cipher did ask Fluttershy, but she didn’t know either.

Cipher and Riolu sat on the seat on the roof, with extra roof seating behind them. Cipher put the reins down and climbed off the seat using the small ladder. He then went inside. Muffins piled the letters and parcels “You are going to be busy Cipher, not that you can pick up passengers as well as deliver and collect the mail.”, Cipher took the post in his magic and nodded “I know.” And stepped outside, he called back “Chelsea Porcelain wants a lift into Huntersfield to do some shopping.”

Muffins appeared at the front door “That reminds me of a couple things, first North Sentry and Helmet Listener want a lift to Huntersfield to see their old friend Foggy Dew, and you’d better see if Reverend Farthing wants a lift.”

Cipher opened the box on the back on the coach and put the parcels and the letters inside it. He then went up to the front and fluttered up to the driver’s seat and charged his horn “I’ll not forget. Cheerio.” He flicked the reins and the mail coach rolled along the High Street.

He went through the village and out towards the Castle of Friendship. When the new Military Chaplain for the Everfree Guard arrived, it became apparent he didn’t have anywhere to stay, so Princess Twilight offered him a place within the Castle. Cipher did enter the Castle once or twice with Fluttershy, where he would occasionally converse with Spike and Starlight, but he never really explored the Castle.
He stopped and saw the Reverend Honouring Farthing standing outside, he didn’t look ready at all, indeed, he looked worried. A Unicorn with a cream coat, and a three-toned mane and tail of black, grey and blue. He wore a clerical collar on his black shirt, but unlike the stereotype of a vicar, he didn’t wear glasses, and at only nineteen he cut a rather heartthrob reputation with the teenager mares of the town, still for all his good looks he did have his faults.

Cipher took the letters addressed to him from the back of the coach and walked out. The Reverend smiled “Oh Cipher, I wanted to go into Huntersfield on your lovely new mail coach today, but oh dear,” his horn charged and from inside his shirt pocket he pulled out a handkerchief with three knots “and I know they are to remind me of something, but bless me, I cannot think what it is.”

“Well Reverend,” Cipher said scratching the back of his neck “I won’t be able to keep my passengers waiting, I’ll have to be on my way.”
The Reverend sighed “Don’t wait for me then Cipher, I’ll get my scooter out, if I remember in time.” He took the letters and Cipher went back to the coach “Goodbye Reverend.”, Farthing waved “Bye Cipher.”

And off went Cipher to the next stop. He rounded a bend, came to a junction, stopped, looked both ways, then turned right.

At the retirement village gate, Chelsea Porcelain stood ready with his stick and shopping bag. Cipher climbed down and opened the door to the passenger compartment. Chelsea smiled “Well this is something new. What a lovely way to go shopping.”

“Mind the step.” He helped her in and shut the door. Climbed back on top, he felt quite excited now with his first passenger, he took the reins “Off we go Riolu.” And they slowly rolled forward.

Then Chelsea started shouted “My hat! Cipher stop I’ve forgotten my hat.”, Cipher pulled hard on the reins, Riolu nearly fell off. “Oh dear, back we go.”, reserving an auto-magic cart is quite a tricky feat, but with the view the top seat gave him good visibility for the manoeuvre. Chelsea opened the carriage door and carefully got down “I won’t be long.” Then she muttered “I knew I would forget something.”

Cipher sighed and rested his chin on his hoof “I wonder if we’ll ever get to Huntersfield Riolu?”, the Jakhowl nodded while he held tightly to the seat. Cipher glanced back “Ah her she comes.”

Chelsea opened the gate and walked out with her hat on, a very nice hat too. Cipher fluttered down and helped her aboard and then shut the door before return to the driver’s seat. He glanced at Riolu and muttered “I hope she has forgotten anything else.”, again the Jakhowl nodded. Cipher flicked the reins and the coach trundled off again.

They went along a country lane and doubled back in the town to pick up North Sentry and Helmet Listener.

On the way, Cipher noticed something, or rather, a certain some-pony “I think we have another passenger Riolu.”

Outside Carousel Boutique, Rarity stood with a lot of shopping bags and baskets she waved her hoof “Stop!”, Riolu braced himself and Cipher pulled on the reins, the coach slowed to a standstill, Rarity smiled “Thank you Cipher.” she took a couple of the bags and baskets in her magic “Now, if you could be a dear and pass me a bag or two?”

Cipher smiled and shook his head “Certainly Miss Rarity.” He fluttered down as picked the remaining baskets in his magic. Spike must have been too busy today. Rarity opened the door and climbed in. Cipher looked at the baskets and the room in the compartment “Um, Miss Rarity, perhaps we should put the baskets on the roof.”

Rarity frowned disapprovingly at the suggestion “And risk my finely made Canterlot wicker baskets falling off? Never.”, Cipher sighed and put them in, but it did prove a struggle to fit anything in. Rarity sat next to Chelsea and her baskets laid on the floor, Rarity turned to the older mare and spoke in a slightly loader tone “Good morning Mrs Porcelain.”

Cipher tapped his hoof on the roof and called down “All safe and sound?”, he heard their positive replies and they moved off once more.
Passed a few more houses and to the left. Around a bend and there waiting at the end on the road leading to the latter’s house stood North Sentry, with his youngest son First Base close to his hoof, and Helmet Listener, another Earth Pony with a slightly unkempt white coat, his flack carried an animal trap cutie mark and greying three tone coloured mane and tail of different shade of brown topped off by a scraggly tie around his neck.

The coach stopped and North opened the door, he helped First Base in, then getting after sitting down put the colt on his lap. Then Listener climbed up, he looked at Rarity and Porcelain and shouted, “Hey up, it’s the Dolly Sisters!”, Rarity narrowed her eyes. Listener sat down roughly and Rarity started to complain “Mr Listener, do watch where you put your hooves.”, Listener looked down as saw his hoof stuck in one of the baskets “Sorry Rarity,” he pulled the basket off his hoof “I didn’t see your old basket there.”

“It isn’t an old basket Mr Listener, though it looks after being stuck on your hoof.”

Cipher looked up from the seat and shook his head “It used to be a lot quieter carrying letters and parcels didn’t it Riolu.” Without even needing to see his pet’s response Cipher got the coach going again, and they went on their way at last.

Around to the right. Over the hills. Around to right again. And along bumping country lanes. He stopped at a junction. Check to see no pony came along, and turned left. Cipher seemed to go faster than usual, most likely to make up for lost time.

Rarity didn’t like it at all “Slow down Cipher, you’re making me feel quite dizzy.”

Cipher looked up and saw something in the road ahead. Cipher slowed down seeing Filthy Rich standing next to a cart parked on the right side of the road filled like a small market. Cipher came alongside, a tight squeeze.

Rich gave a few directions “Left hoof down a little bit,”, Cipher inched forward, “Take it slowly,” Rich said, “or you’ll scratch your new mail coach.”, as they passed Rarity looked out of the window and smiled “Cipher, why don’t we have a little light refreshment? I’m sure Mr Rich has something in his cart.”

Chelsea smiled “Yes, a biscuit would be nice.”

Cipher stopped the coach and the passengers disembarked. Listener went first “How do Rich? You got my usual with you?”

Rich smirked “I did put a pack in just in case,” he looked up and smiled “All of you are welcome to be the first test costumers of my new business expansion, Barnyard Bargain’s Mobile Shop.”

North helped his son down, the colt rushed to the cart excitedly to see the item on sale for his dad to buy from him, North smiled and shook his head then turned to the carriage as Rarity came to it “Can I give you a hoof Miss Rarity?”

“Thank you, Mr Sentry, Flash must get his manners from you.”, she walked to the Mobile Shop as North help to get Chelsea off the carriage.
Cipher got down himself to check a nearby letterbox. He overhead the questions about what to eat and drink, the list included biscuits, cereals and chocolate, the last got First Base excited. North asked about drinks, lemonade, apple and orange juice. Cipher found two letters in the box and went back to the coach. As he went to the back he noticed Listener sitting to the side with a pack of cigars in his hoof, Cipher frowned “I’m not allowing smoking in the coach.”, Listener smiled “Don’t worry, I’ll save them for when we meet Foggy.”

“I’ll hold you up to that.” Cipher said grimly, make Listener shudder a bit. Cipher didn’t like scaring ponies, the Changelings needed a better reputation, but when needed to be he would say the occasional threat. He went to the back and put the letters in. Then he joined the other and chuckled “You'll all be spent up before we reach Huntersfield. And we really should be on our way, I have the letters to deliver as well as you, you know.”

North helped Chelsea back to coach “I haven’t finished my biscuits.” She said.

“Take them with you.” North said, “Mind the step.” He turned to First Base who stood with a bottle in his hoof “Be careful with the lemonade Sport. After you Miss Rarity. Are you coming Listener?”, they all climbed back into the coach.

Filthy counted his bits then he heard Cipher charge his magic and the start of trundling wheels he called over “Bye Cipher and thanks!”

Cipher waved back “Good luck Rich.” He turned to Riolu and chuckled “Have with left any-pony behind Riolu.”, the Jakhowl grinned and shook his head. Cipher nodded and looked down “That’s one thing about letters, they never get out for a biscuit.”, he flicked the reins and they started off again.

He passed Kimblewick Hall, where the Major and Porter stood at the gates, as they passed Porter called “Hello Cipher.” And the Major called out “Good luck old fellow.”

The continued on down the road, followed a bend right. Cipher knew the bridge over the river and the quickest route to Huntersfield would be coming up, but as he looked out he eyes narrowed “What now?”, as he approached his eyes widened and he sighed.

Dauntless Doo levitated cones and looked up as they approached “He reared up and held his hooves out “Stop!”, Cipher did so, Dauntless walked up “Sorry Cipher, you can’t go this way, the old bridge isn’t safe, it’s that heavy rain from the Everfree Forest, it’s caused a dreadful flood the other day and weakened the bridge.”

Cipher frowned “Oh dear, and we’re running late as well.”

Listener poked his head out of the window “I know a shortcut. Just go straight on this way.”, Cipher flicked the reins again and put his trust in Listener’s navigation.

Dauntless called “Sorry about the bother Cipher.”

The coach continued along the road and Listener spoke “Then left, down here.”, the width of the road turned very narrow and it got rather twisty, “Don’t worry,” Listener called “you’ll be alright.”

Suddenly the ground turned very bumpy. Rarity took note “This feels like a ploughed field.”

“Watch the gate as you turn into it!” Listener called.

Cipher frowned as he slowed and turned into the field, just enough room ‘I hope Listener knows what he’s doing.’

Rarity look out the window and huffed “I knew it, we’re lost. You don’t know which way from your fetlock is to you tail Mr Listener.”

“That’s not far, I’ve been this way dozens of time while hunting rabbits with my ferrets, it’s looks a bit different today that’s all.”

Cipher pulled the reins and stop he looked around but he didn’t know where to go, and with Listener unable to give proper directions now, Cipher now of only one option, go back the way they came, and now without suitable space in the field to turn he needed to go up hill, along a bumpy field in reverse.

When they reach the gate, Cipher blinked and smiled “I know where we are, this is the road to Sweet Apple Arches.”, with a barring he went straight to the Apple Farm, not only so he could work out a way to Huntersfield, but also because he needed to deliver some letters to the Apples.

Granny Smith sat on the porch in her rocking chair, while the Apple siblings all stood waiting to see the coach.

Cipher pulled in and stopped.

Applejack grinned “Well, ain’t that mighty fancy.”, Big Mac nodded “Yep.”

First Base jumped down and walked up to Apple Bloom, the two of them started talking about school and homework.

Cipher got down and went to get the letters “Usual delivery Applejack.”

North helped as Rarity got out “Thank you Mr Sentry.” She then went to Applejack. North went to join Big Mac as he and Listener looked at a piece of farming equipment.

Chelsea sat asleep in the coach, she awoke with a start “Where are we? Are we there?” She looked out the window “Where’s the market?”

Listener looked at the old machine and Big Mac said in very few words “The bit won’t come off.”

North looked unsure “Well depending on what bit you’re referring to that might be a good thing.”, Listener tapped the part with his hoof and it came off “I think thee spoke too soon Big Mac.”

Meanwhile Rarity and Applejack discussed matters “Well, Starlight told me…”

A ring and cries for help caught every-pony’s attention. “Oh dear! Help! Lord save us!”, a blur of cream came streaking through the yard with a cried of “Look out!” and it raced into the barn and cried “Oh heavens!”

CRASH.

North blinked after recovering from his cringe “Was that Reverend Farthing?” he and Listener went to the barn “Let’s go and see.”

“Yep.” Big Mac said and followed, quickly Applejack came to his side.

From out of the barn, and rather shaken stepped the Reverend. North looked concerned “You alright Reverend?”

Farthing shook himself “Dear me, what a ride. Thank the Lord Applejack that you have hay in your barn.” He smiled as Cipher came walking up, “Oh, but I remember now, that’s what the knots were for.”, he brought out his handkerchief in his magic and with his hoof pointed out the knots “One to remember my sister’s birthday. Two to remember to post her present.”

Cipher raised an eyebrow and pointed to the third knot “And three?”

“To get new brakes for my scooter.”

Listener and Big Mac chuckled, North smiled and looked up to the sky shaking his head. Applejack spoke “Why don’t you go to Huntersfield in the Mail Coach, and me and Big Mac with mend your scooter for you. I’ll bring it with me to the Castle tomorrow.”

Farthing smiled “Thank you Applejack.”

Cipher nodded “Time we were on our way.” And every-pony going to Huntersfield went to the coach. Farthing looked at the lack of space on the passenger compartment “It’s a very nice day, so I’ll ride on top, you have the spare seats.”, Cipher nodded as the two climbed aboard “It’s what they’re there for. You can keep me and Riolu company up here.”, the Jakhowl barked. Cipher took the reins “Next stop Huntersfield.”, they went around the barnyard and out onto the road, the Apples waved as they left.

Cipher went slightly faster than usual, he followed a bend to the right and followed the road up hill and over and continued along before passing a sign “Huntersfield at last.”, he slowed as they entered the small village.

In truth, when Ponyville becomes the capital of the Everfree Kingdom, Huntersfield would be called a suburb of it, one of the smaller surrounding villages which recently sprang up, or at least after Ponyville, the ponies there also accepted Twilight as their local Princess and their village committee already agreed to be a part of the Everfree Kingdom. The only difference between this village and Ponyville lay on the roofs, in Ponyville they used thatch, in Huntersfield roofs would be made of slate tiles. Not only this but a far larger Earth Pony majority population than Ponyville.

Cipher stopped the cart in the village square, which made up most of the settlement, just four lines in a square made up of shops and houses, only the market made it look far busier. Cipher got down and looked at the schedule “Every-pony back here please at two o’clock.”
Rarity nodded and said, “We’ll not be late.” And every-pony went their separate ways. Cipher watched interested as a lanky Earth Pony, with a walking stick under his foreleg and a scarf in the colours of some military regiment wrapped around his neck, approached the North, First Base and with slight disgust in his face, Listener. He nodded at them, then glanced down at First Base with astonishment before nodded with a smile, the Earth Pony quartet then walked away towards a house on the edge of the square.

When two o’clock came, every-pony but Chelsea Porcelain made it back. Cipher paced up and down worried “We’re going to be late, but we can’t go without her.”

Rarity stood up “I’ll go and look for her. She’ll be in the market getting potatoes.” She trotted off.

Listener leaned on the side of the coach finishing his cigar “I wonder where’s she’s got to?”

Cipher sighed and looked about “She’ll be having a good gossip somewhere.”

Riolu barked and Cipher turned around as Chelsea came walking up “There you are, have you seen Rarity? She’s looking for you.”

“Looking for me?” Chelsea said confused “I wasn’t lost.”

North climbed out the carriage “I’ll tell you what, you sit in the coach, and I’ll go look for Miss Rarity. Sport stay in the coach.”

“Okay Dad.”, and North walked away as Cipher help Chelsea in.

No sooner did North leave, Rarity came back looking worried “I’m afraid I can’t find Mrs Porcelain anywhere, I think we’ll have to report her missing. Then she glanced at the coach window and blinked “How did she get there?”

“She came back while you were looking for her, and North Sentry’s gone looking for you now.”

“Well, I’m flattered Mr Sentry would want to find me, but I’m not lost.”

Cipher sighed “I know you’re not lost, but…” he sighed again “Oh never mind, we’ll just have to wait, and I don’t know when we’ll get back to Ponyville.” He flew up to his sheet ‘I think I’ll read the book Fluttershy gave me, he reached under his seat and pulled said book out. Behind him the Reverend slept.

But North soon came back and they set off home again. Cipher turned the cart around the square and back up the road to Ponyville. Around the bend to the right. Cipher need to give letters and parcels to Windy Miller in the North-Eastern Windmill. He rolled into the yard where Windy walked with a basket of eggs on his back, he turned around hearing the sound. Cipher brought the coach to a stop “Hello Windy.” He climbed down.

“Hello Cipher,” Windy put the basket on the ground “I like your new Mail Coach, it’s a great idea. Do you think I take a dozen hens to the market in it tomorrow?”

Rarity with one of her smaller basket climbed down and frowned “Indeed not Windy. Just think of the feathers, we would all be sneezing for a week.”, she stopped at the basket of eggs “Oh, but darling what lovely eggs.” With her magic, she pulled out her purse “My I buy half a dozen please? I forgot to get some at the market.”

Windy nodded and began taking the eggs out. While Cipher got the correct post out from the back of the coach.

Windy put the eggs in Rarity’s basket and took the bits “There you are. Six lovely fresh eggs Rarity.”, Rarity smiled “Thank you so much Windy.” And she walked back to the coach as Cipher approached, Windy looked to Rarity “Mind you don’t break them.”, Cipher presented Windy with his post, the Miller grinned and took them “Thanks Cipher.”

“Your welcome, bye for now.” He flew up to his seat and heard the door shut. He flicked the reins and went through the yard and back onto the road. Then the turn left and towards Fluttershy’s.

Cipher blinked but grinned.

From the bridge over the stream before her cottage Fluttershy waved with frantic energy Cipher leaned back to the window and spoke to the other “Fluttershy wants us to stop.” He pulled the reins back and the coach rolled to a stop. Fluttershy sighed thankfully and smiled “Thank goodness you alright Cipher, Crackle Pop just arrived, he’s says Muffins is very worried, she’s been wonder where you’ve all gotten to, she thinks you’ve had an accident with the Mail Coach.”

Cipher smiled “I’ll speak with him, he inside?”

“Oh yes, why don’t you all come for a cup of tea?”

Rarity appeared at the window “That sounds simply wonderful Fluttershy darling.”, they all stepped out and went into the cottage.

Crackle currently took part in a staring contest with Harry the Bear. The bear blinked and slumped onto his back. Crackle smirk “Wait till I tell Dinky I stared down a bear and won.”, First Base walked up and smiled “I’ll back you Crackle, no-pony at school’s going to doubt me when it comes to sports.”

North chuckled and glanced at Listener “It warms your heart to know that kids today are just daft as we used to be.”, Listener meanwhile stroked one of the ferrets in the cottage he glanced at Fluttershy as she came in with the tea and asked, “You think I can bring my ferrets down for a playdate with yours?”

“Well, I don’t know if the bunnies will approve, Angel is very careful when he’s near ferrets.”

Cipher spoke with Crackle “No Crackle we haven’t been to Manehatten, just Huntersfield, got a bit delayed, we’re all safe and sound, go and tell your mother we’ll be back soon okay?", Crackle nodded and waving to First flew out of the cottage.

Rarity spoke with Fluttershy “What I time we had darling.” She turned to Cipher somewhat impressed “It’s a wonder Cipher managed to get us all home again.”, Fluttershy smiled and looked to him “He’s very dependable, when he puts his mind to it, he always does his best to see it through.”

Cipher smiled and blushed.

Listener chuckled “He doesn’t half go a funny colour.” He turned to the Reverend “What do you make of it Reverend?”

“Well, the Lord works in mysterious way.”

“Oh,” Fluttershy said looked to the Reverend “that reminds me Mr Farthing, Applejack came by to say if I saw you on the way back from Huntersfield, I was tell you she’s given your scooter a good oiling and it’s as good as new, all it needs is some new brake pads, and she’ll bring it down to the Castle tomorrow.”

Farthing smiled “Thank you for telling me that Miss Fluttershy, I’ll have to think of something to thank Applejack for her effort.”, Fluttershy nodded and turned to Chelsea “More tea Mrs Porcelain?”

Chelsea put her hoof to her ear “Sorry? What did you say?”, Cipher walked up “Fluttershy asked if you wanted more tea.”, Fluttershy smiled at him, introverted he may be but he knew how to project himself, 'No wonder he got chosen as a prince.'

Chelsea spoke “Well, just one more cup.”

Riolu sat in the corner with First Base, the colt chewed on a biscuit while the Jakhowl nibbled on one of the bone kept for Sunday tea.
Cipher looked out the cottage window to the town clock, he got up “Come on every-pony, time to be off. See you later Fluttershy.”
They all retook their places on the coach and Cipher turned to the left, the long day would soon be over. Cipher reached a junction and turned left again.

The first stop on the way back to the Post Office, Carousel Boutique. Rarity spoke “Just a minute Cipher darling, I must not forget anything.”, Cipher leaned down and opened the door for her, he smiled, Rarity finally called him darling, seems as if she’s finally accepted him as a friend, “Careful as you get out Miss Rarity, mind the step.”

Rarity shut the door and smiled “Thank you Cipher, goodbye.”, Cipher flicked the reins and they rolled onward.

Cipher turned right at the next junction. Rounded a bend. And stopped at the Retirement Village. He got down to help Chelsea out. “Thanks Cipher.” She said, she got to the door of the main building when she flinched “My hat! I’ve forgotten my hat!”

Listener reached for something from where she’d been sitting, a squashed cloth hat, he chuckled and gave it to Cipher who then levitated it to Chelsea. Then Cipher shut the door and climbed back onto his seat.

He followed the road back to the street where Listener lived. As soon as he when onto the street, he heard to door open and Listener shouted “Geronimo!”, then he North Sentry and First Base jumped off. Cipher looked back. They’d landed roughly but they all laughed.
Cipher smiled and shook his head to concentrate on the road ahead, to the Castle of Friendship to drop the Reverend off.

They passed Princess Twilight and Captain Flash Sentry walking into town. Cipher and the Reverend gave them a wave and they waved back.
Finally, they stopped at the Castle, the Reverend climbed down “Thank you, my goodness it’s been quite a day.” He then looked up at the Changeling “Oh Cipher, I still have a knot in my handkerchief.”

“Now then Reverend,” Cipher said tiredly “is it a new one? Or just one you forgot to undo?”

“I’ve forgotten. Oh dear. Goodbye Cipher.”

Cipher looked to Riolu, who just shrugged, the Reverend couldn’t be lying if he didn’t know the information. Cipher chuckled and stroke the Jakhowl’s head “Time we remembered to go home Riolu.” He flicked the reins once more and the Mail Coach headed back to the Post Office.
For a first try Cipher seemed reasonably pleased with how things turned out, but he would suggest this should not always be like this, with how chaotic things got he decided to only use the Mail Coach when ponies needed it, like say if they hired it, he still wanted a quiet job delivering the post, introvert after all.

Author's Note

Huntersfield is meant to be an Equine joke on Huddersfield. This is part of my way to expand the MLP universe.

A Historical Horror Package

“So, Crusaders,” Apple Bloom said on her little plinth “found any ponies with cutie mark problems recently?”

Scootaloo looked away slightly “Sorry Apple Bloom, I’ve be spending my time playing with my Dad so I haven’t noticed any.”, Apple Bloom gave her friend a sad smile “It’s okay,” she sighed “at least you have a parent.”

Sweetie Belle came up and put her hoof on her shoulder “Let’s not get negative here. How about we find Cipher when he’s finished his rounds and see if we get him a cutie mark. Twilight’s still curious.”

Apple Bloom smiled “Yeah, coming on Crusaders.”

Cipher stared down the hill as the CMC and Riolu readied things, he turned to them “Barrel rolling? What makes you think my cutie mark, if can get one is in barrel rolling?”

“We don’t know.” Apple Bloom said, tipping a barrel “That’s why we’re trying it.”

“We? You’ve already got yours.”, Scootaloo spoke up “Yeah, but it’ll be fun.”

Cipher looked back to the hill “You could fall out of an airship without it being as steep as that.”

Sweetie Belle spoke up “It’s just the angle, from the bottom it would look half as steep.”

“From the bottom, it isn’t half as steep.”

Apple Bloom spoke “Don’t complain until you get used to it.”

“Used to it? How many times are we tumbling down that?”

“A few,” she replied, “not exactly sure how many times.”

“You’re nuts you three, you know that?”, the CMC looked at each other, Scootaloo whispered “We’ve been called many things, but I don’t think we’ve even been called nuts.”, Sweetie spoke next “He’s scared that’s all. We’ve done things scarier than this.”, Apple Bloom shuddered “Don’t remind me.” She looked up at Cipher “What about this, we rolled a barrel down empty and see what we’re in for?”

“I can tell what we’re in for.” He sighed “If it means we get through this sooner alright then.”

Apple Bloom nodded and bucked the barrel beside her. They all gathered together and watched it tumbled and clutter down the hill. Riolu shielded his eyes, Cipher looked at him “You won’t need to look you’ll be inside.”, the Jakhowl looked again.

Scootaloo grinned “Looks fine to me.”

Cipher looked at her “What would your father think if he knew the stuff you’ve been getting up to? He’s going to find out sooner or later.”, she just shrugged.

Cipher shook his head a crawled into one of the barrels “It’s a bit tight in here.”, the CMC and Riolu got into theirs, Apple Bloom spoke up “What do you mean, seems find to me.”

“You’re smaller remember.”, Scootaloo called out “Okay, on my mark, ready steady GO!”, the put their weight on the downward facing side of the barrels and they started rolling.

Tumbling, crashing and with some complaining Cipher reached the bottom first and bumped into a wall. Then the four other came along. Cipher crawled out and stood up and stumbled about walking. Riolu inched out, spun about and collapsed. The CMC got out laughing, although Sweetie did rub her horn, Scootaloo bounced “Can we do that again?”

Cipher wings shot out in shook “You can,” he picked up Riolu on put him on his back “I can tell barrel rolling’s not for me.” He started flying back up the hill and back to his cart “Next time come up with something less dizzy.”

The CMC watch him go. Apple Bloom turned to the other too and asked “Okay, what should we do next.”, Scootaloo jumped “Can we roll down the hill again?”

Sweetie looked at the barrels and then up the hill “How do we get these back up the hill then?”, the two others blinked and pondered.

Fluttershy stroked Riolu’s head as he lay on the sofa, she turned to Cipher “Barrel rolling?”

“That’s what I said to them on the hill.”

Twilight put her tea down and looked apologetically at the Changeling “I’m sorry Cipher, I didn’t think the CMC would revert back to their old ways with you. They seemed so mature when helping ponies with their cutie marks, like Tender Taps.” She then looked away “Although they did do similar when Gabby came wanting one.”

Cipher sniffed “Well I don’t care if I don’t get one, delivering the post, speaking to friends and spending the rest of the day with Fluttershy before time to check for any evening post is fine by me.”

Fluttershy blushed “Don’t you mean spending the rest of the day with your friends?”

“Aren’t we friends?”

Flash rolled his eyes grinning and muttered “Get a room already.”, Twilight nudged him in the side and glared at him. Cipher blushed himself and decided to change the subject “If the CMC want to help a pony who’s having trouble with their life propose in life, why not Parcel Post? I mean he quit the Postal Service after going into Discord’s Chaosville or whatever he calls it, I don’t blame it, I can’t imagine what eldritch nightmares are living there.”

Twilight nodded shuddering “So what’s he doing now?”

“Well, he’s got his bees, I remember the last time I had to help him with them. I was fine, but,” he glanced to Riolu now asleep “this little chap’s been very frightened of honey ever since.”

Fluttershy lip quivered “The poor thing.”, Cipher continued “He’s been taking odd jobs about the town for the past few weeks, tried to be night porter at the station, but Perks go on his nerve, haven’t a clue why.”

Fluttershy spoke up “Didn’t any-pony tell him I take Discord’s post?”

Cipher shrugged “From what I could glean from Parcel the letter was directly addressed to wherever in Equestria Discord actually lives. He would tell how in Luna’s name he got there.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes at this, usually Princess Celestia arranged the invites personally, ponies could apply to get tickets but the Princess could send other invitations out as well, why would she address it to Discord’s dimension, and for that matter, how did she know the location?

Cipher continued “Anyway, as of late he’s been acting, well, odd. He’s been wearing his beekeeper’s suit all the time, even indoor and when the windows are shut. The Major’s been complaining that he’s not turning up to parade, especially with the special decree going up in a couple of weeks.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes “Now why would he do that.”, Flash spoke “Maybe he’s hiding something?”, Twilight turned to him “But what could he hide?”

Cipher tapped his hoof on his chin “I don’t think we’ll get it out of him, but I know of three who could.”

Apple Bloom knocked on the door and stepped back. Sweetie looked to her “I wonder why Twilight asked us to see Mr Parcel Post?”

Scootaloo spoke up “Isn’t it obvious? Post’s got a cutie mark problem.”

The door inched opened “Is that you Cipher?”

Apple Bloom cleared her throat “No Mr Post, it’s the CMC, Princess Twilight asked us to come and see you.”

“Oh,” the door shut and the sound of several locks being opened and latches taken of came muffled through the door, the door opened and their stood Parcel in his beekeeper’s suit minus the hat with the screen “You’d better come in.”

They sat on the sofa. Parcel shifted his hooves “So, what’s the matter?”

“Actually,” Sweetie Belle said “that’s kind of what we wanted to ask you. Cipher’s gotten a bit concerned for your wellbeing, and now your locking yourself in your house. What could be causing this.”

Parcel stood up and went to the door and pointed to it “I don’t want to discuss it; now could you please leave? Princess’s order or not I’ve got stuff to do?”

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow “Like what?”

“My bees, I’ve been talking to Filthy Rich about possibly selling honey.”

Sweetie spoke next “You’re not going to be able to talk to them if you lock yourself in your house.” She then put on her cute face and gave him the big eyes “You can tell us. Please?”

Parcel backed up a bit “This isn’t something kids should have about.”

Apple Bloom went big eyes and her lip quivered as well “Please Mr, all we want to do his help.”, Parcel backed to the wall.

Scootaloo glanced between her friends and the former Post-stallion and sighed then she joined her friend in the cute sadness attack. Parcel fell his flanked and shook then held his forehooves “Alright I’ll tell you, just stop making the big eyes.”

The CMC smiled and Apple Bloom “Thanks Mr Post, the sooner we know the problem, the sooner we can help.”

Parcel got up and with a sigh went to a chair, he sat down and looked up “I guess I should start about a week before the last Grand Galloping Gala.”

Parcel in his uniform, narrowed his eyes at the address on the letter “Discord (or current resident). Number Banana, Ankh Street, Chaosville? What’s an Ankh?”

Muffins shrugged “It must be important if it’s address him personally.”

“But how do I get there, wherever there is?”, the letter suddenly gave a golden glow and in a flash Parcel disappeared.

Muffins rubbed her eyes, she then went to the door leading to her house and called in “Dinky, Crackle? Look after Dipsy, Mommy’s got to deliver the mail.”

Parcel blinked and shuddered.

He stood on a floating rock and before him a swirling purple void with other flying islands, some of them upside-down each with bizarre plants and creatures. One of them in the distance we swore hosted a river of custard.

He hesitantly took a step forward and onto a walkway. A plank underneath him gave way and suddenly he started flying upwards. His flight path turned zig-zagged and loopy before he landed back where he started. He gulped and turned around.

A staircase formed, sideway and bended and twisted for what looked like miles until connecting to the very next island.

Parcel shook his head and looked elsewhere.

Two things suddenly flew in twirling and landed.

First some odd machine, very old fashioned, an orange box thing with a robot arm extending out, on the end of the arm a yellow gardening glove. A lever on the side on the top an assortment of odd things, a red-lightbulb, currently off, a gramophone horn and a pair of semaphore signals, one green with ‘OFF’ currently up and the other down red with ‘ON’.

Next to flying in must to Parcel’s amazement, an extra, extra-long lander, it seemed to extend for miles into the air, he couldn’t even see the top. As it landed the gloved hand of the machine arm gripped the bottom steading it.

Parcel bit his lip, he could not sure where it would go, but compared to his other options it looked the most sensible, a stretch in this place but he would consider it so. He started climbing and he took what he felt like hours to climb it, he passed islands, one appeared to have a volcano, not unleashing lava but soup bubbles.

Unbeknownst to him a creature resembling a small pink and yellow polka-dotted flying penguin, which flew backward, landed upside-down on the lever of the orange machine, it paused and said “Blobby?”, then lever fell.

The horn wailed, the light flashed, the signals switched. The hand let got. The ladder started to disappear in a display not dissimilar to lit sparkler fireworks, it even sounded a firework.

Parcel heard the sound and looked down, his eyes widened and he started panicking. The ladder went from under his hooves, he flailed about in the air for a few seconds before he started falling. ‘Celestia help!’

A bubble came out of the volcano and flew underneath him, then went through the membrane and landed inside it. He sighed in relief. But then a thought struck him. How would he get out? Where would the bubble take him?

He flew for felt like days.

Finally, he landed, the ground of the island cracked and the bubble, it didn’t burst, it turned into a lot of playing cards. Getting up he felt shift, his joints clicked he looked around and spotted a house, no other houses in the area. He gingerly walked up to it unsure as to what he would discover. He then started flying away.

And he suffered more misadventures. Don’t ask him about trolls with sticks, all kinds of black dogs with orange eyebrows, rains of spaniels, sabretooth tigers, upside-down tar pits and flying badges.

He wailed as he fell through the air again.

A paw took hold on of him and he himself with his back to the elbow of the Spirit of Chaos, Discord spoke “Where you perhaps looking for me?”, Parcel reached into his uniform pocket to find the letter “Are you, Discord or current resident?” He turned back to the Dracon-Equus’s face “I can’t find any street numbers in this place.”, Discord took the letter, the enveloped ripped open by itself and a golden ticket floated out, he discarded the enveloped and his talons took the ticket. He smiled and gleefully proclaimed “My ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala!” He shoved it into Parcel’s face “I was invited after all!” then he frowned at him.

Parcel started shaking as Discord inched closer to his face and ominously asked “Why is this so late?”, Parcel gulped and spoke as best he could “Well, I got a little lost after I escaped the flying badgers. Can you point me in the direction of the bottomless pit?”, a ladder, made from a tree branches, and still growing as evidenced by the leaves, stuck out from it “I think I can make my way back from there.” Even if he ended up in the Everfree Forest.

Discord did nothing of the sort, instead he let go of Parcel and walked away saying “Oh over there somewhere.”, Parcel didn’t hear much of what Discord said after as a large mouthed monster grabbed him and took him further into the chaos realm.

Parcel shuddered with his face in his hooves.

The CMC blinked. Scootaloo spoke “So how did you get away?”

“I didn't.” Parcel took a swig of some apple juice Apple Bloom got from the kitchen “Turned out it was a mom looking for a present for its foals. It brought me back to its nest and gave me to its young, a pack of female hatchlings who all started cooing over me and saying ‘Oh, look, a pony, look how cute she is’, and I kept trying to tell them I was a stallion, and not a pet, but they didn't care.” He shivered again “They dressed me up like a princess. And I told them I wasn't a princess, or even a prince, I was just a stallion who carries the mail, but they didn't care. They… they dyed me, and covered me with, with, permanent stickers…” His hoof went to his flank and rubbed it wincing “Painful to pull off I can tell you. And they put makeup all over me, and pierced my ears, and I can't even tell you how many times they washed and brushed my mane…”

Scootaloo blinked “Must have been horrible for a stallion.”

Parcel nodded he now talked looking at the floor with a thousand-yard stare “If it hadn't been for this big, horrible green thing with teeth showing up to play with the kids, I'd have been a goner. As it was, they didn't want to get my dress dirty, so I managed to escape. I got rid of the dress in a forest of Pick-up-Sticks, and I managed to get rid of the crown…”

Sweetie Belle blinked “There was a crown?”

“I know, who wears a tiara and a crown? So, I managed to get a giant bee to take the crown off me, I’m good with bees, I can understand them. He was saying that if he brought it to the princess she was sure to accept him as one of the drones allowed to go on her coronation flight with her, and then he'd be a Prince Consort to the Queen of a new hive. I tried to get him to take the tiara off too, but he said that the princess couldn't wear both a tiara and a crown, and I had to admit he had a point.”

Apple Bloom frowned “Why couldn't you get any of these things off yourself, though?”

Parcel Post pointed at some horseshoes, which were now on the floor near the wall, having been flung there with great force. “Those things. They had them strapped so tight I couldn't kick them off, I was lucky at that, they were talking about using nails to fasten them on, but then one of them hit her flipper with the hammer and started crying so they all decided not to play with their mom's hammer, and with them on I couldn't use my hooves to grab anything at all.” He shuddered again.

“I almost ended up being married to this creature called the Queen of the Elves, beautiful creatures they were, I felt like nothing compared, the Queen wanted me as a plaything and a link into Equestria.”

Sweetie Belle tilted her head “How did you escape her?”

“A bipedal creature named Weatherwax appeared and fought her. So, I escaped but then ran into the Four Ponies of the Apocalypse.”

“The what?” Scootaloo asked.

“I didn’t know who they were either, but I asked the Reverend about it last week and he showed me this book, which some ancient group from the time of Equestria’s founded decided not to include the book in something or other I don’t know something about being written from a dream, utter nonsense, but, it said ‘I saw the lamb open one of the seals, and I heard one of the four living creatures call out, as with a voice of thunder “Come!”, I looked, and there was a white pony, it held a bow. A crown was given to it and it came out to conquer.’ The Vicar said something about him being Pestilence.”

The girls looked at each other unsure

Parcel continued “The next passage said, ‘When he opened the second seal I heard the second living creature call out “Come!” And out came another pony, bright red, it was permitted to take peace from the world, so that ponies would slaughter one another; and he was given a great sword.’ The Reverend called him War.”, the fillies blinked with fear in their eyes.

“Next ‘When he opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature call out “Come!” I looked and there was a black pony, it held a pair of scales in it hoof, and I head what seemed to be a voice amid the four living creatures saying, “A quart of wheat for a day’s pay, and three quarts of barley for a day’s pay, but do not damage the olive oil and the wine!’ He’s identified as Famine.

“Lastly, ‘When he opened the fourth seal. I heard the voice of the fourth living creature call out “Come!”, I looked and there was a pale green pony. Its name was Death, and Tartarus followed with him. They were given authority over a fourth of the world, to kill with sword, famine and pestilence, and by the wild animals of the world.’, they said they came to see their old friend Discord, he left them before they were famous because of artistic disagreements.

“I ran for my life when I saw them, and then I ran into another quartet of Ponies, the Four Ponies of the Common Cold. Sniffles, Chesty, Nostril and Lack of Tissues.” He turned to his side and sneezed. “But then Discord caught up with me, he asked why I was still here. So, I started to tell him the story, and he said he didn't care and I was boring him, and teleported me to Cloudsdale.”

Scootaloo gasped “But you're an Earth Pony.”

“I know, so I had to get some-pony to give me a ride here. Fortunately, Muffins was visiting her mom, so she offered to give me a ride, but, well…”

“She dropped you?”

“Four times. Also, ran me into a tree. After that I was down on the ground so I said I'd just make my way in from there on my own.”

“But you didn't ask her to help you get the horseshoes off?”

“Would you ask Muffins “Ditzy” Doo-Hooves to help you pull anything off any part of your body?”

The CMC blinked together “Good point.”

Parcel sighed “After I got home and got myself in the cider-induced coma I couldn’t deliver the mail anymore, I just look at a letter and I’d get scare. Neither rain, nor sleet, nor gloom of night, shall stay these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.” He scoffed “They said nothing about nightmare realms. That’s why Perkins fired me from night porter duty, I kept falling to pieces. So, I returned to my bees, I like bees.”

Apple Bloom nodded “But why are you wearing your beekeepers outfit and not going on parade with the Home Guard.”

Parcel sighed and slumped back into his chair “I knew some-pony would ask, might as well show it to you three, you could help me out.” He stood up and took his suit off.

The fillies’ eyes widened. They all knew Parcel’s cutie mark, a stamp with a heart on it. But now his flank lay bare. Apple Bloom’s jaw dropped “You, you, you lost your cutie mark!”

Parcel nodded “I don’t know how it happened but other day Cipher came with some letters for me and I just snapped I said I didn’t want anything more to do with letters, parcels or anything remotely linked with the mail and I ran back into the house. Cipher posted the letters in my box and left. I went to the bedroom and cried my eyes out, and fell asleep, when I came to, my cutie mark had gone.”

Apple Bloom tapped her hoof before she sighed “Sorry Parcel, before we do anything we need to talk with Princess Twilight, she might know what to do, or at least have something which could help.”

Parcel nodded and put his outfit back on “If you need me I’ll be out with my bees.”

In her library, Twilight blinked with her jaw dropped “He, lost, his cutie mark?”

Also in the room Starlight stared astounded, she’d previously hated cutie marks for causing her only friend Sunburst to move away from. She’d tried to remove cutie marks and create an equal society as she called it, but she realised now it was a miniature dictatorship with herself in charge, thankfully the inhabitants forgave her later, and as of now she sends letters to them and they reply. But to hear about a pony who somehow lost his cutie mark completely.

Spike sat on the table taking notes, as Twilight instructed when they arrived to talk about what they found.

Twilight mind worked on overdrive “Didn’t you friend Trouble Shoes hate his cutie mark for years?”

Apple Bloom spoke “Yeah, he didn’t like it because he thought he was bad luck, but he accepted it, his lot in life he called it. Really grumpy about it too.”

Sweetie nodded “Here it’s different Parcel just out right rejected his life calling.”

Starlight spoke up “And this is different to Star Swirl’s unfinished spell because it’s not a swapped cutie mark and confusion over his life calling. He doesn’t want to deliver post anymore, but a Post-stallion becoming afraid of letter?”

Spike finished his notes “I can’t blame him, after what he went through all because of one letter, but that golden glow, you don’t think?”
Twilight turned to him and glared “Spike don’t you dare accuse Princess Celestia for causing all of this.” Then she paused “Well, actually she did invite Discord so. Spike take a letter.”

Spike smirked and nodded he knew this would have happen eventually.

While they waited for the reply Twilight search her books on cutie marks, Starlight made a good point about the spell she completed and turned her into the physical embodiment of the Magic of Friendship and an Alicorn. Try as she might she couldn’t find any record of this.
She looked to the others “You know I can’t help but feel sorry for Parcel, he’s going to end up in the history books as the first pony to lose his cutie mark.”

Apple Bloom scowled and stood up straight “Then we Crusaders are going to so our best and give him a new one. Right girls?”

“Right.” The two others nodded.

Just then the doors opened and in flew the baby Flurry Heart, followed quickly by Shining Armour, Flash and Cadance.

Twilight groaned and teleported her books back into place.

Shining jumped but missed and dumped into Flash, and both crashed to the floor. Cadance shook her head and spoke up “Flurry Heart!”, her daughter stopped and flapped in mid-air, Cadance narrowed her eyes “I’m very disappoint in you little lady.”, Flurry’s lip quivered and she started crying and floated down to the floor. Cadance walked up and took hold of her “It’s okay Mommy’s here.” She gave her a hug and spoke softly to her “Now you’re going to behave yourself at Aunt Twilight’s, aren’t you?”, Flurry nodded and Cadance smiled “Good girl.” She kissed her on the check.

Scootaloo fumed “Some ponies get all the luck.”

Spike stepped over “Tell me about it, every other dragon I’ve met have had wings.” He then coughed up a letter which flew to Twilight, she read it out “To Twilight, I am beyond shocked to learn of such a consequence for my selfish desire for a livelier Gala, my condolences and apologies are to Parcel Post for causing him such distress, Luna has said that the Cutie Mark Crusaders should be able to help him and I wish them good luck. Princess Celestia.”

Shining, Cadance and Flash all glanced at each other and Cadance walked to her sister-in-law “Can you explain what’s happened to Parcel Post?”, both Twilight and the CMC explained, much to their surprise.

The CMC returned to Parcel’s house and went around to the back where he kept his beehives.

Apple Bloom looked to the others “Do you think he can get a new cutie mark in beekeeping?”

Sweetie shook her head “I think he would have already gotten it by now.”, Scootaloo nodded “I think the beekeeping is just a hobby, like you and potions Apple Bloom and me and my scooter.”, Apple Bloom then nodded “That does make sense, well Crusader we may have our work cut out, but we give up until we do our best, right?”

“Right!”

“Don’t be so load.” Parcel called “You’ll scare them.” He walked up to them in his full gear “On the bench.” He pointed to the wooden bench behind them, the trio sat down and watched Parcel handle a honeycomb “My family’s always been beekeeping as a hobby, something to let the stress go.”

Apple Bloom nodded, many of his bees pollinated the trees in Sweet Apple Arches “So Parcel, what caused you to get you cutie mark involving stamps?”

“Well, I’ve always loved communication, written communication most of all. The free movement of ideas, and the ability to converse with any-pony anywhere. I just wanted to be a part of it, so I asked the Post-Mare at the time, a friend of the family, if I could help her, she said yes so I did.” He smiled and he put the lid of the hive back into place “Oh I remember that first round.”

He then talked to the foals about the day and then unusual ponies he came across.

The Post-Mare even gave him her hat to deliver the first package of the day. He rang the doorbell and the top half of the door swung open, stallion asked about the name, but not him, his son, the colt made the box bounced up and down on the ground until a big red ball burst through the wrapping.

The next house made him cry, the Post-Mare gave a sad letter to the stallion of the house, to this day Parcel didn’t quite know what the letter said, but he knew from the stallion’s tears it must have been sad. The Post-Mare comforted Parcel and took her hat back.

Next house he rang the doorbell a few times before impatiently shouting, then a window opened and the pony explained about the broken lock and took the parcel through the window.

Then they came to an odd house two homes built on top of each other and stairs going up to the top. Parcel climbed up them and rang the doorbell, to get door in the face and a cheerful chap, who didn’t apologise at all.

Final package to a very fruitful mare with triplet foals, lollypops for her “little dears” as she called them.

When he got home in time for lunch he asked to appear at the door in the hat, the Post-Mare let him do it. When he opened the door, and saluted his mother she looked so proud, and the Post-Mare said he would make a fine Post-stallion in the future, as mother and son embraced his cutie mark appeared.

Parcel sighed, and frowned “And now that’s memories bittersweet.”

“So,” Sweetie said “you like written communication? What about printing? Ponyville hasn’t had a skilled printer for donkey’s years. Even the Ponyville Express must print its stories in Canterlot and send then here overnight by train.”, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo gave her funny looks, Sweetie Belle looked between the two “What? Rarity told me.”

Parcel paused at the suggestion of printing “Printing? The smell of the ink, the sound of type pressing against the paper, the thrill of seeing a finely done print. Ideas ready to be shown the world.” He smiled “Granddad told me all about it, he printed the first edition of the Ponyville Express his shop was on the High Street and before I helped the Post-Mare I would often go to his shop and watch him work. I’d even help him assemble the letter keys, sometimes. If I did it in Granddad’s memory I wouldn’t mind. I couldn’t be any worse than little Featherweight.”
The CMC giggled, Featherweight, thought editor of the Free Foal Press the School’s own newspaper, he didn’t quite know how to work the press right, one time he covered himself in ink.

Parcel blinked “Do any of you feel a tingling?”

“Tingling?” the three foals said excitedly.

Parcel walked away from the hive and took his suit off. On his flank appeared the picture of six letter types, with the Equestrian alphabet letters D, I, P, S, W and X.

Parcel blinked and looked at the three foals, then he smiled widely.

After arranging things, with Princess Twilight and Mayor Mare, and with some financial help from Filthy Rich, he got his grandfather’s old shop reopened, everything left as they used to be, just as he remembered, the chair he used to sit on still there in the corner.

He checked to make sure the printing press worked fine, or else he would need the help of Doctor Time Turner, and after some of the stuff he came up with in the first couple of weeks with the Platoon, well, he didn’t want to risk his granddad’s pride and joy, at work of course, he family always topped his work.

He needed a notice to tell of his new profession. So, he set to work assembling the metal letters, printers call it a type, and a trick his granddad showed him, assemble the type upside-down, because as the type is a reverse of what appears on the page, well, the type is the opposite way around to the page.

He put the type into the press and straightened the letters. Then came the moment he really longed for, getting the engine going.
His granddad told him when he started, he worked the press by hoof, faster than writing but still slow in some respects. His original press looked like a converted wine press, he cranked the sheet over the type, then pulled the lever to bring the press down to stamp the page into the type.

Then he brought a new mechanical press, this one, with gears and flywheels, lever and connecting rods. At first a little steam engine powered it, but then at the tail end on his life he acquired an electrical engine, he needed to change the battery crystals every occasionally, but it worked perfectly. Although thanks to recent event Parcel couldn’t easily get hold of battery crystal, something about one discharging and causing a massive fire. He’d been too busy with his bees and the Platoon to read the Equestria Daily.

Parcel pressed the green button and the engine, slowly whirred into life, Parcel frowned, this would mean a new battery crystal, or if need be, a new engine.

Suddenly a song came to him, his granddad’s work song and he smiled as he softly sung them “I line up all the letters, with spaces in between… And clamp them in the printing press, a wonderful machine… Posters are in capital, bold and fat and tall… But the printing in the daily news is often rather small…”

He put the sticky printers ink onto the pad “Now the inky roller, comes down the type and back… And makes the letters ready to be printed clear and black…”

He tested the roller, it went over the ink collecting some of it and rolled over the type putting the ink over the letters, he added some more ink to the pad. He then went to the table with the pieces of paper stacked up to be his notices, he moved it to his left, and put another empty table to the right, he them stood directly before the press. “I check the pile of paper, for every single sheet… Will be printed by the inky type with letters clear and neat.”

He slipped one sheet onto the flat metal plate, called a platen. He pushed a lever down, a gear slipped into place and the started to rhythm of the press. Roller up and down. Platen into the type and out. Parcel quickly moved the printed sheet as the roller came down again. “When they have a flag day, I print the little flags… Notices and labels, and even paper bags… I make the letter stand up straight and keep the paper clean… Then the job will be as good as any-pony’s seen…”

From the door, the CMC watched with amazement, and quickly other ponies came to the door, Muffins, Cipher, Riolu and Fluttershy, Twilight and Flash, and the occasional passing pony.

Parcel counted out the sheets and stopped at fourteen and pulled the lever up. The press stopped. Parcel wen to the engine and switched it off. Then he inspected the top sheet “Let’s see what we’ve got here. ‘By Royal Appointment of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Parcel Post Printers of Ponyville. Number 43, High Street, Ponyville, Everfree Kingdom. Commissions open, see management.’ Lovely job.”

Twilight nodded and looked down to the CMC and smiled at them approvingly. The group then quietly walked away.

Apple Bloom looked up the sign above the door, the name as Parcel said and a logo of a bee carrying the letter P. She smiled and turned to the other two “Well Crusaders, I’d say we did a good job. Any other pony with Cutie Mark problems?”

Sweetie Belle thought for a moment “We could wait for Cipher to finish his round and try another cutie mark attempt.”

Scootaloo suggested “Or we could go barrel rolling instead. Or we could barrel roll while we what for Cipher.”, Apple Boom smiled “Sounds like a plan.” And the fillies ran off.

Author's Note

I will not a lot of the original stuff in Chaosville is based on two things. Primarily the works of the late great Sir Terry Pratchett, and the "Land of Marvels" episode of the forgetten BBC Children cartoon "Enchanted Lands: The Magic Fairway Tree" based on the works of Enid Blyton.

Changeling the Music

It started on a busy morning in Ponyville. Parcel Post just finished his first commission, for Pinkie Pie, to make poster for Ponyville Day, she’d been made Master of Ceremonies this year and she decided to throw a village fete to celebrate the town’s rustic village-ness. Parcel went around posting the poster around the town, he came out of the Post Office and went on his way.

Time Turner passed in the Lorry, probably out for do some work outside of the village, possibly even in Huntersfield.

He passed Dotty Miller and Starry Eyes, the Pegasus showed Dotty the magazine with Mrs Waterbury’s latest story.

Then Cipher came walking up with a friendly “Morning.”, Dotty said her hellos and walked away, Cipher turned to Starry and gave him some letters “Is it alright if you take Waterbury’s letters too? It’ll save me sometime.”

“No, it’s fine.” Starry said taking the letters “Thank you Cipher.”, the two walked away from each other and Cipher stopped at a house to post some more letters, he heard hoof steps and looked up he smiled “Morning Windy.”

Windy Miller passed by with his cart of flour and eggs, he smiled as he past “Hello Cipher.”

Granny Smith stood in the Post Office paying for a parcel to be sent off “And ten first class stamps please Muffins.” She turned to look at the poster “Well I’ll be. A fete for Ponyville this year, we used to have them regular when I was a filly. Mind though it’s not like it was in the old days, oh no, brass bands with drums and trumpets, I hope they’ll be some sort of music.”

Muffins carefully looked at the weight of the Parcel and noted it down in the book “Oh, I’m sure. I heard Pinkie’s asked Octavia and Vinyl to sort it out, Twilight’s been encouraging her to try a bit of delegation.”

“My old uncle you know, he played,” she paused “land sakes what did he play? I know he made a darn good sound, it was big and booming. I wonder whatever happened to it?”

Muffins shrugged, put the parcel down on the counter and took out a book of stamps “That’ll be three bits Granny Smith.” She counted out the coins “Well, never mind. Now Muffins would you kindly ask Cipher to come to the farm afternoon.”

“I will.”

“That attic of ours, you know there all sorts of things up there. I’ve wanted to get it cleared out since we last rebuilt the barn.” She walked out of the Post Office as a streak of orange and blue carrying a guitar case flew passed and shouted, “Hello Granny Smith.”

“Morning Flash.” She called back and went on her way.

Flash spotted Cipher coming the High Street and landed “Hello Cipher.”

“Hello Flash.”, the Captain of the Everfree Guard held up the guitar case “Look at this.”, Cipher smiled but raised an eyebrow “I thought you didn’t have time to play that guitar.”

“Well right now with Shining staying and with the Reverend wanting to do some Castle duty I’ve now got some spare time, and Twilight been encouraging me to play.” And he flew off.

Cipher smiled and gave a sad sigh ‘It would be nice to play something. Something big and booming.' Changelings never got any spare time, and in Cipher’s old position he got even less, the thought of playing something made him hum down the High Street and into the Post Office, Riolu looked over from his seat on the cart, park by the Post Office window as usual and he smiled.

Cipher entered the Post Office and Muffins looked up with a smile “You’re sounding cheerful today.” She said. Cipher grinned “It’s the music in the air.”

“As it should be.” Said a voice as refined as Rarity’s and Cipher turned around.

In walked in an Earth Pony mare with a dark grey mane and tail, a light grey coat and light purple eyes, and she wore a pink bow-tie with a white collar. Her cutie mark, a violet treble clef. Beside her a Unicorn mare with a pale-yellow coat, and often mistaken for white, a two bridged eighth note cutie mark, a cobalt blue mane with brilliant cyan stripes. She wore a pair of purple lensed sunglasses and a pair of headphones.

The pair’s names in respective order, Octavia Melody and Vinyl Scratch, but most of Equestria knew Vinyl by her stage name “DJ Pon-3”. They live on the outskirts of town, though Vinyl also has an apartment in Manehatten above her own nightclub. The pair are in fact siblings, and not as some have guessed lovers.

Octavia continued as she walked in “Pinkie has told us we need music for a good fete.” She turned to her sister “Now then Vinyl, do you think your turntable can give us some jolly old tunes?”, Vinyl frowned and shook her head. Octavia tilted her head “Well, what about that old record player? I’m sure Doctor Time Turner can mend it, he has been keeping it going for the last few years.”, Vinyl smiled.

“Oh,” Muffins said piling the parcels and letter, she tapped Cipher’s shoulder “I nearly forgot, Granny Smith asked if you’d pop in at Sweet Apple Arches.”

Cipher nodded and took the pile with his magic “Right oh.” He walked out “I expected she’s got something for the fete.” He opened the back doors of the cart and put the parcels in “Bye all.” He called. And Octavia and Muffins called back their goodbyes and through the window he could see Vinyl wave. He hummed as his climb onto his seat, started the cart and rolled away, he stopped at junction, looked both ways and then turned right and out to the outskirts of Ponyville.

He made a couple of deliveries before arriving at Sweet Apple Arches. He parked in the yard and took the post out. Then both he and Riolu got down and went to the house he knocked and went in “Morning Granny Smith, you’ve got two letters today.”

In the kitchen, Granny Smith turned the oven off as Cipher walked in “Oh Cipher I’m glad you’ve come.” She walked up as Cipher put the letters on the table, she looked up to the ceiling “There’s somethings in the attic and they’ll be just right for the fete. You know some old hats, bonnets and the like, could you climb up and have a look?” She walked into the next room, a ladder sat in the middle of the room which went up to a hatch in the ceiling. “Applejack and Big Mac are too busy on the farm, and Apple Bloom’s down at the school, and my legs are too wobbly for that ladder. They’ll be there somewhere, but mind how you go.”

“Let’s have a look.” Cipher said put his hooves to the rungs. “Up we go.” He pushed the hatch open and observed the dark room. He climbed into it and looked about ‘I won’t able to see a thing. Now then, how did that illumination spell Twilight taught me go?’ He charged his horn and some light filled the room, just enough to see in front of him. ‘Where do I start?’

He stepped lightly as clutter appeared before his eyes ‘Oh dear, what a jumble, I could never live in a house messed up like this attic.’ A trunk appeared before him and he opened it. Full of hats and hatboxes, he looked over some and picked out a top hat. He placed it on his head with the brim above his horn and looked to a nearby mirror ‘Stylish,’ he chuckled ‘I like that.’ He shut the trunk and with his magic levitated it to the hatch.

Then he went exploring some more. ‘A chair, a coffeepot and kettle, boxes and tubs.’ He turned to an old chest ‘I say this looks promising.’ He opened it and pulled out a large brass instrument ‘It’s some sort of a, Oom-pah thing I think.’ He looked over it ‘It looks too dusty to blow.’ He took the chest with him as well and went back to the hatch.

He looked at his assortment of items ‘Now then, better get this lot down.’ He took them up in his magic and with his back to the rungs of the ladder slowly stepped down “Look out below!”, his hoof lost its place and he slid the last couple of feet.

He went into the kitchen and saw Granny Smith getting a pie out of the oven. He waited until she put it on the table before give the instrument as blast. Granny jumped and turned “Lands sake!” she took a couple of breaths before speaking again “Cipher you gave me such a fright.”

He frowned “I did. Sorry about that.”, he didn’t like scaring ponies, he thought the Changelings should be better than that.

Granny Smith smiled “I thought it was my old uncle for a minute, you know? Off the play in the Ponyville brass band.” She looked at the instrument “Now I remember it was the tuba he played. Tell you what? You’re welcome to it. Why don’t you learn to play it? We could have a new band in Ponyville, real live music for the fete.”

Cipher took the top hat off and looked at the tuba still in his magic “I might do that.” He put the mouthpiece. With his more solid lips he found making them vibrate as the air past a little hard, but he did manage to make some sounds, but nothing which could be called music.

Riolu sat on the chair chewing at his bone, but as the sound went through the kitchen he looked up.

Cipher turned to the door and started walking out “Seems the right sort of size for me. Big and booming, this would suit Big Mac too.”

“Big Mac’s a base singer not a musician.”, Cipher blinked “I wonder what my singing voice is like?” He shrugged and smiled “I know Fluttershy sings wonderful, it rings like bell so true it is hypnotising.”

Riolu barked and Cipher shook himself. Granny Smith chuckled. Cipher blushed and opened the door “Thanks Granny Smith, this is very kind of you.” He opened the door and left.

He hummed low, imagining himself playing while he carried both the tuba and the it came from he went to the back of the cart and put them next to the letters and parcels. He then climbed up to the driver’s seat and started the cart before rolling down the road.
He went along and zig-zagged to his next stop. Doctor Time Turner.

The timekeeper looked over the cylinders and rods of the Lorry’s engine, he reached down into his toolbox “It looks like it needs a number eight spanner.” He looked to his side and smiled “Oh here’s Cipher.” He returned to the pistons “The lining look okay for the moment, I think I’ll need to replace them soon.”

Cipher took the tuba out and called out “What do you think of this Time?”, he gave a sharp and loud blast.

Time Turner jumped, held his ears and wailed “Stop!”, he eyes spun. He shook himself and looked at the tuba “I think it need a spot of something before it give me a headache.” He grabbed a nearby oilcan “Let’s try a drop of oil,” and he pumped some oil into the values and chuckled “this is good stuff.”

Cipher gave another sharp blast right into Time Turner’s face, his mane, while already spiked, stood up, and there also came the sound of clattering from the workshop.

The doctor brushed his mane down “It’s a bit overpowered Cipher.” He took hold of some scraps of material “Try some of these rags down its throttle.” And he stuffed them down the horn.

Cipher chuckled “Thanks Time. I’d better be on my way now.” And he put the tuba back in the cart. He got onto the seat and charged his horn, the cart whirred but then gave some unpleasant noises and jerked about “Oh dear. She won’t start Time.”

“No,” Time Turner said coming around “I can’t fix it right now.” He went under the front axle with his spanner and then came up hold a broken shard of crystal, he nodded “Your battery crystals gone. And ever since the Fire of Bridle City Port these are very hard to find. I’ll have to order some of these new sparkplug replacements.”

Cipher and Riolu climbed down and Cipher sighed “Oh dear Riolu. How in the wide world are why going to deliver all the post?”, Time Turner stood up “I know, you could take the Mail Coach out. I’ll give you a lift into town to pick it up.” He started walking “Young Riolu can keep me company. I think you’d better sit on the back with the brass contraption, I can’t risk getting a blast from it while I’m driving.”, the Earth Pony and Jakhowl climbed into the cab, he turned back and yelled “Our you with us Cipher?”

The Changeling flew onto the back with his tuba “Ready.” He called back. Time opened the regulator and off they went.

But Cipher just couldn’t resist having another toot on the tuba.

The entered the town and Time Turner stopped as Flash Sentry flew down a street. Not seeing him from behind Cipher gave a blast on the tuba and Flash both distracted and disorientated flew out of control and head first into a tree, he ended up as a heap on the ground.

Next, they passed Windy Miller. Cipher gave a toot and Windy jumped “Ouch! What was that?” He looked around and up into the sky “Sound like some-pony let go of a large balloon, what a noise.”

Time Turner turned into a street which Starlight Glimmer trotted up. Cipher next go sounded like a wailing creature from the Everfree Forest, like a Timberwolf howl. Starlight jumped to the side with cry of “HELP!”, then the Lorry passed and she scowled “Road hog!” she yelled.

Presently they came to the Mail Couch. Time Turner slowed the Lorry to a stop and climbed out “Here we are,” then as he helped Riolu out he muttered “and a good thing too Cipher. You and your blooming tuba.”

The two postal workers got aboard the coach, Cipher put the tuba and its chest on the roof behind the driver’s seat.

Time Turner returned to the Lorry “Ponies shouldn’t be allowed to make a noise like that.” He climbed into the can and mutter “A terrible racket.” He opened the regulator and the Lorry steamed away.

Cipher started the Mail Coach and doubled back to the Doctor’s workshop to get the post out of the cart.

After doing so they continued their rounds.

Cipher stopped outside the North-Eastern Windmill. Riolu climbed into the passenger compartment to stay somewhere quiet. Cipher meanwhile took the tuba and flew into the yard. He couldn’t see any-pony about and the sails didn’t spin so no Windy to speak with, so Cipher thought he would have one more try to get music from his tuba.

The sound frightened the chickens and they started to make a real noise and running around the yard as if they lost their head. Dotty came out the house shouting “What’s going on out here?” she approached Cipher who stopped “What was that terrible noise?”, Cipher frowned “Sorry Dotty, it was only me trying to make music.”, Dotty blinked and put a hoof to her temple “Music Cipher? It sounded more like a dragon snoring. I’ve never heard the likes of it.”

Cipher trudged back to the coach frowning ‘Dear me, there must be some I can practice without frightening every-pony. If this is how domesticated farm animals react, what would Fluttershy’s animal do? I’d better not practice there.’ He started the coach again and rolled away.

Half a mile up the round. Right at a fork in the road and straight on until he reached the field he’d usually have his midday tea. He stopped and both him and Riolu got down. “Looks silent enough here, no-pony about.” Cipher took out the basket with Riolu’s lunch. They climbed the hill and set it up.

Cipher then leaned against the tree with his face in the shade and shut his eyes and began to dream. As a dream, some parts didn’t quite fit reality.

He stood smart in special band uniform and his voice sang from above “Just imagine if I could… Really, really could, play the tuba.” He held up the instrument, blew into it and place prefect notes and the music truly started.

“We could have a get time making music… Like the old days with the village band… I would practice every day… So, I could join and a play… And I’d try to make a very lovely sound…

“I’m so lucky that I found this lovely tuba… Now I’ve got a chance to try me hand… With my practice, every day… I’d soon be proud to say… That I can make a really lovely, really proper sound…

“Putting up the music we must get to know the score… Think what we could play… Oh our music will be sure to have a beat… And the tuba it would make a sound… Sure to give a richer sound… No mistake would make the sound complete…

“It’s lucky that I found this lovely tuba… Now I’ve got a chance to try my hand… With my practice, every day… I’d soon be proud to say… That I can make a really lovely, really proper sound…” The music slowly to a finish with “I’ll to make a really lovely really proper sound…”

Cipher blinked awake and looked down and Riolu chewing on his bone “I must have dropped off, what a lovely dream.” He chuckled “Hands though, I think I’ve talking with Lyra too much.” He levitated the tuba “Now then, let’s have one more go at this tuba.”

Riolu covered his ears.

Nearby, Roseluck, a female Earth pony with a pale-yellow coat, like Vinyl Scratch, raspberry mane with light raspberry streaks, chartreuse green eyes, and a cutie mark of a rose, worked on the flowers in her garden. One of Doctor Time Turner’s oldest friends like Muffins, she worked the flower stall with Daisy and Lily Valley, and all three of them would fall to pieces at anything tragic involving flowers.

Cipher put the mouthpiece to his lips.

Roseluck held a pair of secateurs in her hoof and readied to cut a few leaves of the stems of some potted flowers. Then a loud noise blasted through. She jumped and cut through the stems, the heads with all the petals fell to the ground Rose gasped “My prize blooms!” tears came to her eyes and she looked around quickly “What was that…”

“Morning Roseluck,” said a voice, she turned around as Cipher came up her garden path “a parcel for you.”

“Did you hear that dreadful noise Cipher? What do you think it was?”

Cipher frowned “Uh, well,” he rubbed the back of his neck “I don’t know Roseluck, I’ll have to dash lots of tub, I mean letters today.” He quickly gave her the parcel and rushed off. Roseluck looked back down at her former prize winning flowers and uttered “The horror.”

Late in the evening Flash Sentry went out making enquiries he called back at the Castle. Twilight went to Canterlot to spend the day with her family, she did asked Flash the chance to come but he said he need to protect Ponyville, but after his crash earlier in the day he partly wished he did take the offer.

The only two ponies inside, Starlight and Reverend Farthing, and Starlight locked herself in the library to look for a quick reaction protection spell having almost been run over by Time Turner’s Lorry.

The Reverend swept the corridor floor outside the chapel. Flash walked up “Good evening Padre, I wondered if you could help me with my enquiries. It’s about these strange noises, there have been reports all over Ponyville. Some folks think it might be intruders from outer space. I got thrown off course by a loud noise and a strange vibration in the air.”

The young Reverend nodded “Yes Captain, this requires some thought. You know what the Holy Books say I suppose, Book of Exalts,” translated from the Ancient Unicorn word of Psalms meaning praises, through Pony Latin and to modern Equestrian “Number one-hundred ‘Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the world. Worship the Lord with gladness; come into his presence with singing.’”

Then the sound came, Farthing flinched and wide-eyed “Dear heavens! What’s that?”

“That’s it Padre.” Flash said scowling and turning around “Dreadful I call it.” He started to walk to out “I’ll go and investigate. Stay here Padre and if I’m not back in five minutes…”

“Allow me to join you Captain Sentry.”

“No Padre.” Flash said as they existed the Castle doors “Your non-combatant, it could be something from the Everfree Forest.”

“Oh, but I insist.” He illuminated his horn “Two heads are better than one.” They started walking around the Castle “And besides I’ve gotten to know my way around the Castle grounds at night.”, as they moved they heard the noise again, Flash glanced at Farthing “Now Padre, we must go quietly, or we’ll never catch it.”

“Lord defend us.” Farthing prayed softly.

Flash stopped, the sound came from his left, the Reverend shone his magic over to a bunch of bushes with a gap in them, Flash stepped forward and the noise got louder “Careful Padre, we’re close.”

“Maybe, I should fetch help?”

“No time for that, and you volunteered for this Padre.”, Flash stopped as the Reverend’s magic caught up with him, he held his hoof up to stop Farthing “Look there’s a figure by that bush, I think we have our culprit.”

The noise got worse and the two covered their ears, Flash did it with his wings, then the Reverend looked again and blinked “Good heavens! It’s Cipher!”, Flash blinked and straight up with an angry scowl “Cipher!” He called.

The noise stopped and the familiar Changeling head looked around “Hello Reverend,” then he frowned “Hello Flash.”, the two came up and Flash asked, “What all this about Cipher?”

“Well, it’s my tuba.”

“Very commendable,” Farthing said, “he wants to make music.”, Flash turned away and muttered “Yeah but you didn’t fly head first into a tree, did you?”, Farthing ignored this and spoke to Cipher “I’ll have a word with Major Fields Cipher, he can teach you, he told me he played something similar in the Fifth Regiment of Hoof.”

The day of the fete arrive. Pinkie Pie coordinated the setting up.

Rainbow Dash and the other Pegasi put up the bunting and the banners. Cipher and Time Turner gave them a hoof. Indeed, every-pony helped.

Dauntless Doo came along to keep an eye on things. He soon ended up with his hooves full, primarily when Cipher gave him some of the bunting to hold as he walked to the Mail Coach.

He passed Windy Miller helping Spike with some of Rarity’s mannequins, Windy looked to the little dragon “Whatever are all these dummies for?”, Spike put another one down “There for the “Knock the Hat Off” stall.”, Windy muttered something about ask a silly question.

Cipher climbed up onto the driver’s seat of the coach and rolled away, as well as helping with the preparation for the fete, Cipher needed to do his rounds. He drove out of the town and around to the left at a fork in the road and onto the North-Eastern Windmill, some letters needed to be delivered there.

Dotty worked in the kitchen, making jam to sell at the fete. Cipher came in “Morning Dotty, I’ll put the letters here,” and the set them on the little spare space of the table not taking up by jam jars, he then turned around and left “bye.”

“Bye Cipher.” Dotty said as she placed a lid on another jar.

And in between his rounds and the preparations, Cipher squeezed time in at Kimblewick Hall for music lessons with the Major. Under his tutelage, he did indeed make music. “Ready now?” the Major said and tapped his hoof and readied his own instrument “A one, two, three.” They played along together, and Porter keep the beat going at the end the Major smiled at his music student and said, “Good fellow.”

The afternoon came and so did the time for the fete. Cipher collected the foals who attended school on the day, along with Miss Cheerilee, a real squash.

At the fete, every-pony started having fun with the games and bought all the bits and sundry. Princess Celestia and Luna arrived to complete the Royal Families presence, and of course some ponies knew what their presences meant as well.

Windy called out over the tinny music from the record player “Roll up! Three balls for one bit. Try you luck. Knock all the hats off and win a prize.”, a filly came up and Windy smiled “Come on Diamond Tiara have a go.”

“Very well Mr Miller.” The daughter of Filthy Rich said and threw them, and indeed, knocked the hats off “I won!” she shouted. Windy smiled “First prize and all.” He handed her a teddy bear, Diamond took it and looked, not disappointed, more indifferent “Oh, thanks.” She said.

Suddenly a crackling sounded above the music before the sound and the music stopped altogether.

Rarity looked over from the stall she browsed “Did you here that dreadful noise.”

At the table with the record player Octavia, Vinyl, Cipher and Doctor Time Turner looked worried. The doctor spoke “I think the old record player’s given up the ghost Vinyl.” He turned around and walked to one of the speakers “Let’s just check these leads.”, he turned the speaker and checked the wire “Looks alright.”

Cipher looked at the other one and called over “This one seems okay Time.”

Back at the table Time Turner unscrewed the side of the player and pulled the workings out, he tutted “It’s your old valves Vinyl, they’ve gone pop.” He sighed and shook his head “And you can’t get this type now.”

Octavia and Vinyl looked at each other and synchronised, shrugged, Octavia looked back to the crowd “Then that’s the end of the music.”, Vinyl nodded.

Pinkie’s mane deflated.

Granny Smith spoke up “But we’ve always had music at a fete, ever since I was a filly and won the clogdancing competition.”

Time Turner grimaced “Well, this want play again that’s for sure. I don’t know what else we can do.”

Cipher trotted past smiling “Hold on, I’ve got an idea.” He walked up to Twilight “Um, Twilight, Spike can I have a word.”, soon the rest of the Royal Family and the Council of Friendship got in on the conversation and they all agreed. Rarity and Fluttershy went off together, and Cipher, Twilight, Spike and Flash went back to the Castle.

The came out handling a piano, which jangled a bit on the way back to town, and Flash carried his guitar. Spike chuckled “It’s a good thing I decided to learn how to play after the incident with the Yaks.”, Twilight nodded. Cipher chuckled and added “It’s a good job it’s on wheel too.”

Mrs Waterbury and Starry Eyes blinked as they passed by.

Pinkie and Applejack already put down chairs, and Vinyl set up music stand with sheets. The piano stopped and Spike readied his seat.

Flash started tuning his guitar.

Lyra with her harp in her magic sooner joined him, as did Octavia with her cello.

Rarity arrived with Big Mac and two other ponies, Toe-Tapper and Torch Song, and Fluttershy with a tambourine. Pinkie Pie rolled a drum in
Cipher got his chest down from the coach roof and looked down at the figure standing next him “Alright Major?”, the Major nodded and said, “Good fellow.”

Starlight walked up to Spike “Why don’t you give every-pony an A Spike?”, the dragon nodded and pressed his finger down on a key, letting every-pony tune their instruments to the same tone.

Two foals sat down with woodwind recorders.

Cipher sat down next to where Fluttershy stood and practiced his tuba.

A light blue coated and messy white maned Earth Pony mare, with a screw cutie mark sat down and took out a harmonica, quite good at it.

Close by Comet Tail blinked and turned to Nurse Redheart “I didn’t know little old Screwy played the harmonica.”, Redheart shrugged “Something the therapist suggested.”, Screwy, most of the time, acted sane enough to travel, but occasionally she would have fits of madness where she believed herself to be a dog, even making a great impersonation of one.

The Major waited for every-pony to stop readying themselves and pushed a soapbox in front of the band. He stepped onto it and reared up on his hind legs, and held out his stick like a conductor’s baton “All ready now?”

Octavia and Rarity spoke at the same time “Ready when you are Major.” The both looked at each other as the others laughed.

“By the right,” the Major said, “quickly march.”, Flash raised an eyebrow and Porter nudged him, the Major shook himself and cleared his throat “I mean, altogether now. A one, two, three.”, Pinkie banged the drum in time to the beat the Major put out.

The music started and every instrument played its part. The quintet of the Pony Tones added in their vocal talents, with Fluttershy also added in the tambourine.

The Royal Family watched and Twilight Velvet, Princess Twilight’s and Shining Amour’s mother smiled “It puts me in mind of the days when I was a filly. Isn’t it just grand?”, Night Light, her husband and the aforementioned royalties’ father nodded and then asked, “Care you dance dear?”, She smiled and the two started Waltzing.

Shining Armour put his hoof to his head. Then Flurry giggled and so he tickled her tummy.

Princess Twilight looked to Flash with a big smile. Her Captain glanced up and winked.

Cipher paused his tooting and listened to Fluttershy sing, she stopped and looked back, he smiled, she blushed and smiled and two went back to their respective parts of the harmony.

Celestia walked up to Twilight Sparkle “Do you want me to make the Decree when they finish this, or do you want them to play another song after? I’m really enjoying this.”, Luna nodded coming alongside “It was a good idea of young Prince Cipher to assemble this. That shows some good leadership skills, Thorax was right in appointing him.”

Twilight still smiled and looked about the crowd “I think we’ll let the Ponies of Ponyville decide if they want an encore.”, Celestia nodded “A wise decision my student.” And just stood back and listened.

A Musical Passing for a Miserable Musty Scott

Atop the hill overlooking Huntersfield, with Ponyville just in the distance three Earth Ponies laid on the grass.

One of them included lanky Earth Pony, with the walking stick beside him and a scarf in the colours of some military regiment wrapped around his neck, his coat a pale cream, and two-toned mane and tail of a dark and light shade of purple, inherited from his mother, and unfortunately viewed as effeminate by many over ponies. His name Foggy Dew, born in Ponyville, severed in the Third Regiment of Hoof and moved to Huntersfield soon after its founding, now one is its, lesser, well-to-do citizens.

The other two. One with a slightly unkempt white coat, and greying three tone coloured mane and tail of different shade of brown topped off by a scraggly tie around his neck. Helmet Listener. And the other, North Sentry, an Earth Pony with a deep orange almost brown coat, and the standard cut blue mane of the Royal Guard, himself a former member of the First Regiment of Hoof.

Listener spoke “Did you know old Musty Scott’s dead?”

Foggy spoke “I hope they double checked, or else he’ll be back to cause more misery.”

North added his two bits “Well they’ll be burying him tomorrow, so he must be reasonably convincing.”, Listener spoke again “I thought he’d live forever, you can’t imagine any kind of god wanting him.”, Foggy added “You know what he was like, he probably pushed his way in.”, North chuckled “It’s really going to test whoever does the funeral to say something nice about him.”

Foggy turned to North “I believe under those circumstances they have a dispensation which allows them to lie.”, the two others nodded and they all got up and walked back into the village.

As they walked Listener turned to North “Hey North, how come your Mrs has been letting you out here?”

“Well, it all this walking about. Fortune likes me more fit, good for the legs she said.”, Listener chuckled “I thought the exercise she gives you is already good for the legs.”

Foggy rolled his eyes “For once Listener will you take your head out of the gutter.” He then turned to North and looked smug “I always said regular exercise would give you a good and happy life.”

Listener looked round “You’re one to talk, you’re a bachelor.”

“And you haven’t fared much better in love. Your longest courting mare-friend ran off with a Unicorn from Baltimare.”

“Well, it wouldn’t have work out. She had no capacity for handle my ferrets. “Either me or those ferrets.” She said. How am I’m supposed to be a fur trapper in Ponyville without ferrets?”

“I thought ferrets were simply for rabbits.”

“We’ll I’ve trained mine for more. One time we were in the Everfree Forest and they saved me by scurrying up a Timberwolf’s woodwork.” He sighed and smiled “Been quite successful, foxes, racoons and ermine, make a lot of money of the ermine.”

Foggy nodded “Yes and you bet it away on the athletes.”

“I’ll get a winner one day.”

North turned to him “Night Light told me a friend of his at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns betted on the losers.”, Listener turned to him amazed “You can bet on the loser?” He exclaimed “All this time I’ve be throwing my money when I could have bet on the loser!”

“Well, the Equestria Daily doesn’t have a form for the losers, I think you’ve got to get one on your own.”

Foggy blinked “The father of Princess Twilight Sparkle, the former student of Princess Celestia, knew some-pony who bets?”

“Only on the side as a possible way to pay of his School fees, Night Light doesn’t know if he won a lot.”, Listener nudged him “But he did win money?”, North nodded, he then spoke “Speaking of Night Light, he and his wife Twilight Velvet have coming down to have a look around, Fortune’s going to show them. And I know Cipher and Fluttershy are staying the weekend here too.”

Foggy grinned “Oh, well that sound nice, I hope you’ll introduce me of course.”

“Don’t worry Foggy, I’ll do that.”

As they entered the village North looked to his friend “Do you think we should go to the funeral?”

“Why,” Foggy said “he’s not going to come to ours.”, Listener nodded “Typical Musty, anti-social to the end.” He looked up and frowned “Hey up,” he pointed.

A little further up the road a male Earth Pony with a white coat, and bright orange and almost Pinkie Pie levels of curly hair, with light orange highlights, jumped and skipped about. His cutie mark resembled a musical note but with an X for the note head instead of the oval.

Listener raised an eyebrow “Who’s the barmpot?”

Foggy sighed “That’s Billy Ignoble.”

“Billy?” North raised an eyebrow “Is he related to Billy Shoepack?”, both turned to him and North scratched below his ear “Some-pony Flash and Princess Twilight came across while in Bridle City Port, this Billy seems to partly resemble him. Anyway Foggy, how do you know him?”

“Well, in a village this small every-pony knows each other. He came into town a few years ago, claiming to be a pianist, and he did have skills with this musical introduction, I arranged to have a concert held for him, but it turned out he could actually play, he trained himself to do the introduction, everything else he’d be terrible at.”

North frowned “How did you get out of that then?”

“I came up with this plan. Billy pretended to faint on stage and I helped him backstage and pretended to take him to Ponyville General Hospital, he laid low for a little while, but he came back soon after he saying he decided against the piano.” He glanced back at the skipping Earth Pony “But I’ve never seen him like this.”

They approached gingerly and Listener spoke “I’ve seen this before, you’re not supposed to scratch it, but it gets unbearable.”

Billy looked up with a wide grin and called over “Hello Foggy, and who are these two?”, Foggy made the introduction, and Billy looked to North “Sentry? As in…”, North help up his hoof “I’ve been getting that a lot recently, yes, I’m the father of Captain Flash Sentry.”

Billy smiled “Well, come and look at this, you’re going to love it!”

North whispered to his friend “If he’s going to show us his rash I don’t wish to love it.”

Billy looked offended “I haven’t got a rash. Are you going to come and have a look at this, or aren’t you?”

North spoke again “I once had a nasty experience following an invitation like that.” But they followed Billy anyway. They turned onto a back street and bucked under a filled washing line to Billy’s home.

Sitting in his yard, a bright yellow cart with red wheels, covered in a tarpaulin.

Billy smiled “This is one off.” And he trotted over the cart, and pulled the tarpaulin off, showing the fine red patterns on the side of the cart. The tarp felling onto him, Billy started flailing about under it. Finally, the pulled himself out and looked up proudly at the cart “Here she is, something rare she is.”

Foggy sniffed “A prehistoric cart. Billy Ignoble has found a fossil.”

North looked bored “This is really exciting. I bet old Musty Scott’s having more fun than this.”

Listener stepped closer to the cart but turned back at North’s comment “I bet he’s a better colour.”

Billy fumed and walk around to the front of the cart “Wait till you here why this one’s different.” He climbed onto a seat with a vertical steam boiler with dull cooper piper, gauges and levers “Get ready for this.”, he pulled a lever and the hissing of steam and the pumping of pistons sounded.

Foggy chuckled “Oh, a steam engine, to think we could have missed this.”

“Not the boiler,” Billy said put his hoof to another lever “this.” He pushed it.

A pair of doors on the side on the cart opened revealing thirty-two steam whistle of different sizes, a couple of drums, a cymbal and a glockenspiel, then music started playing. But some of the whistles being lose just hissed, and some of the whistles head, the bells, seem lose as well, some screwed out of place and thus made the notes off-key, others play fine and gave a vague melody.

The trio held their ears at the volume and the off-note whistles.

Billy got down and smiled “How about that then? A travelling fairground organ! And she’s mine, all mine!”, then the pressure of the steam started going down and it went silent “Oh well, I’m an honest stallion, she needs a touch of work. But I’ve got a huge selection of music rolls, so I don’t need to play it, just keep her steamed up and in working order.”

The trio looked at each other. North spoke “I wonder where Night Light and Twilight Velvet, Cipher and Fluttershy are?”

In the village square, Night Light and Cipher sat on a bench. Night smoked a pipe and Cipher read a book Fluttershy gave him. He glanced the white café seeing a group of mares inside sat around a table with cups of tea. Velvet and Fluttershy included.

The regular mares included Ivy, the café owner. Mrs Thunder, the oldest of them and her daughter White Wonder. Light-Honour Batty, Listener’s next door neighbour. And Fortune Sentry. Twilight Velvet sat next to her. Fluttershy sat next to White.

Mrs Thunder spoke “Apparently, Billy Ignoble went over two-hundred miles to buy an old cart full of a fairground organ.”

Ivy shook her head “The things they do collect.”

“Um,” Fluttershy meekly asked keeping her tea closet to her mouth and keeping her head within her mane “who’s Billy Ignoble?”, Twilight Velvet nodded as well.

They explained about him and Mrs Batty shook her head “Ponyville seems to attract the dangerous, Huntersfield attracts the stupid,” he turned to Fortune “I can’t believe your North is friends with both Helmet Listener and Foggy Dew.”

Ivy nodded “Come to that I didn’t know Foggy Dew was friend with Listener.”

Fortune shrugged “They were school friend. Went their separate ways, Foggy volunteered for the Royal Guard, North was called up for training and Listener stayed in Ponyville fur trapping.”

Batty nodded “And all of them remained daft in one way or another.” She turned to Mrs Thunder “Does this fairground organ work?”

Mrs Thunder shrugged and said, “I expect so.”

Ivy looked to Batty “Not wanting to pry, but, are you thinking what I’ve thinking.”

“Well,” Batty said “I was thinking it could be useful for our charity event at the Everfree Fair, it could draw us a crowd.”

“Oh my,” Fluttershy said putting her tea down “I’d forgotten about the fair.”

Fortune frowned “I still not quite what the fair’s all about.”, Twilight Velvet answer “Princess Celestia never got around to make the official decree about the Everfree Kingdom on Ponyville Day, because every-pony just want the band to keep playing. So, Pinkie Pie is arranging the fair so the official decree can be read out.”

Batty smiled “They were a good band; your Flash and young Cipher were the best players.” She looked to Fluttershy “And you have a very lovely singing voice Fluttershy.”, the others nodded.

Fluttershy blushed and smiled “Thank you, if it hadn’t been for Rarity and Cipher I don’t think I could have sang.”

Batty turned back to Mrs Thunder “Do you think he’ll be willing to take it to the fair? Or shall we have to make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

Fluttershy squeaked and shook her head frantically. Thunder, Ivy and Batty looked at each other then turned to her, Ivy spoke “You’ve got a lot to learn young lady.”, Batty nodded “You’ve got to be forceful to get them to do things, my Wally just wanted to spend all day with his racing pigeons, cutie mark in it or not I wasn’t going to clean up the bird muck, they were his reasonability.”

Mrs Thunder turned back to Batty “Billy will be willing alright. He’s like all stallions, pining to show it off somewhere.”

Batty nodded and turned to Ivy “We’ll have to listen to that organ first, see if it works before we get him involved.”, Ivy nodded.

The café door opened and Cipher walked in “Sorry, ladies it’s just myself and Night Light would a cup ourselves.”

Ivy got up and poured two cups “There,” she gave them over “give the cups back when you’re finished.”, Cipher nodded and took the cups in his magic and left.

When the door shut Fluttershy sighed and looked to Ivy “Do you really have to keep them outside the café?”

Every mare apart from Velvet stared at her, Ivy looked offended “Of course, this is lady talk. We can’t allow stallions to pry into a lady’s conversation.” She turned to White Wonder “Tell her about that time your husband Sharp was repairing the shelves on the counter.”

White sighed and put her tea down, she opened her mouth but then Batty spoke “We were talking about a local couple, he took her on holiday three times a year.”

“Yes, thank you Mrs Batty,” White said, “I would like to tell the story myself.” She turned back to Fluttershy. Then Ivy spoke “He took her skiing that year.”, White rolled her eyes and drank her tea.

Thunder spoke “Well White.”

“Well what Mother? I’ve yet to have a word in about my own husband.”

Fluttershy smiled and put her hoof on White’s “I’ve had that before.” She turned to the others “And if any-pony interrupts White again then I will go and sit with Cipher.”

The table went silent. White smiled “Thanks Fluttershy. About Sharp, he was under the counter with a drill and just before Ivy told us about the places he took her, the couple remember, we caught him with his head above the counter and his ear turned towards us. When we asked, he said he wasn’t really listening, just that his ear was in the general directions.”, the others shook their heads.

Twilight Velvet spoke next “I’ll luck to have remember an honest and quiet stallion like Night.” She turned to Fortune “What about you dear?”

“Well,” Fortune said slyly “North’s not one to lie, he just doesn’t have the imagination, he’s better with his hooves than with his mind.”

White tilted her head “What’s he good at with his hooves.”, Mrs Thunder quickly turned to her and snapped “Drink your tea.”, White rolled her eyes with a sigh and took her cup. After taking a sip she returned to Fluttershy “We then moved away from the counter and talked about the placed he’d taken her, then Ivy mentioned the skiing, and when went on a tangent about how much the mare spend in the hairdressers.”

Batty shook her head “I’ve said it before, show me an expressive mane-style and I’ll show you a mare who’s no better than she should be.”

Fluttershy spoke up and softly said “My little brother Zephyr is a Mane Therapist.”, they all turned to her and Batty frowned “Mane Therapy?”

Ivy nodded “What the blood and stomach pills is that?”

“Well, there’s so much that can ruin a mane, so a Mane Therapist is some-pony who gives treatments, part of it included styling,” she rolled her eyes “you would not believe what it took to convince Zephyr he could actually do it. He acts nothing me and my parents but deep down he can be as timid as the rest of us.” A smiled grin appeared on her face and she sighed “He’s also got this big crush on Rainbow Dash, not matter how many times me and Rainbow tell him it’s not true he just believes we’re playing with him.”

Batty nodded “I’ve seen that before, sometimes they just won’t listen.”, Fluttershy nodded “Even my parents started believing it, until I told them it isn’t.”

Fortune blinked “Even your mother?”, Fluttershy nodded then sighed “How am I going to explain Cipher to them.”

The others blinked and looked out the window.

Cipher sat on the bench taking a sip of his tea, cup held in his magic and turned the page of his book. His eyes glanced to the café window, he flinched at the manes staring at him and he dug his face deeper into the book.

The mares turned back to Fluttershy and Ivy spoke up “Are you and him?”

Fluttershy hide inside her mane “Not exactly, we aren’t officially colt and mare-friend, we just spend a lot of time together.” She turned to White “You were saying about your husband?”

“Oh yes, after we talked about her splashing out at the hairdressers Ivy noticed movement behind the bag with Sharp’s tool, I moved them and there he was with his ears pointed at us. We started to argue about it and then Foggy Dew came in, he asked and Sharp said he wasn’t eavesdropping, Mr Dew then asked what he’d learnt and Sharp told him about the skiing.” She fumed “I had to push him straight into the kitchen and get him to do the shelves in there.”

Cipher came in shuffled passed and put the cups back in, then he quickly left.

Ivy got up and looked at the cup “Well, I’ll say one thing about him, he likes tea.”

Batty looked at the door “Very quiet.”

“Oh,” Fluttershy said “he doesn’t like being looked at like he’s guilty of something. He is a Changeling after all.” She sighed “That’s what worries me about introducing him to Mom and Dad, I’m sure they’ll accept him, but will they like him, and how will Cloudsdale react to a Changeling?”

Mrs Thunder spoke up “Can’t he just disguise himself as some-pony else?”

Fluttershy bit her lip “Yes, but he doesn’t like doing that.”

Fortune spoke up “Isn’t your dad retired? And you mother always been the stay at home type?”, Fluttershy nodded, Fortune continued “Why don’t you invite them to your cottage and introduce him there?”, Fluttershy blinked “I hadn’t thought of that, it could work.”

Twilight Velvet pulled out her pocket watch “Oh dear, is that the time?” She turned to Fortune “We’re not going to have another time to explore the village if we stay any longer.”

Fortune nodded and she, Velvet and Fluttershy got up. Velvet looked to the other mare “It been very nice meeting you all, I hope we can do this again sometime.”, Fluttershy nodded and turned to Ivy “Yes and the tea was very nice.”

After they left Ivy and Batty stood up, Ivy turned to Thunder and White “We’re going to talk with Billy Ignoble.”

White nodded “I should get home in time for Sharp to arrive.”, Mrs Thunder finished her tea.

Billy, dressed in overalls, stood next to the organ as it discordantly played, he turned to the two mares “When I’ve finished it won’t look like this. When I’ve finished, it’ll look great.”

Batty asked “How long will that be?”

“You won’t recognise it in a week.”

The mares looked at each other and exclaimed “A week?”

“What have you got in mind?” Billy asked, “Now if I pushed I, really pushed it, I could do it in about four days.”

“Four days?” they repeated with the same tone as before.

Billy looked at before of them “What’s the hurry?”

“I’ll tell you what’s the hurry.” Ivy said, “We need it tomorrow afternoon.”

Billy’s eyes widened “Tomorrow afternoon?”

The mares smiled and nodded “Good.” They said together and Batty continued “That’s settled.” She pointed to the organ “Now get it to play something more recognisable.”

Billy frowned “Have you got anymore suggestion?”

“Yes,” Batty said “we suggest you should stop chatting with us and get a move on, we need it tomorrow afternoon.” And they walked off. Billy turned to the pipes and gulped ‘I guess the painting can wait. Let’s get those pipes sorted out.’

Next day, about lunchtime, Foggy, North and Listener sat outside a pub having a drink of cider. Listener almost took his entire pint down in one go.

Foggy watched him put the tankard down “Don’t overdo it.”

Listener frown “Listener you long prong I’m thirsty, all this walking drains you.”

“All this walking? When I was in the Third Regiment of Hoof we’d have speed marching, marching at a running pace, each unit would compete to see who could get the further in the shortest time. My group once went sixty-three miles in nineteen hours. And we did it with all our kit, they mentally equipped us to do anything. It was the Third Hoof that invented the assault course.”

North put his cider down “Instead of arguing let’s have another round.”

“Can we join you?” said a voice, the trio looked around and they saw Cipher and Night Light walking up. Night Light spoke “Fortune is showing Velvet and Fluttershy something private, not sure what but I know not to pry into a lady’s business.”

Listener hissed “Bad move Night, you don’t know what they’ll be up to, one of my mare-friends went off with a Unicorn for Baltimare.”

North looked to Foggy “Well Foggy you wanted to meet him, so let me introduce Night Light. Night this is Foggy Dew.”, Night smiled and offered his hoof “North’s told me about you.”

“Oh really?” Foggy took Night’s hoof and they shook “I hope he hasn’t been say bad things.”

“Oh no, what he’s said has been very interesting.”

A throat cleared. Foggy looked to Cipher. North spoke again “Foggy this is Cipher, he’s the current Post-stallion for Ponyville.”

“Yes,” Foggy said with a neutral face “I remember seeing you on the Mail Coach.”

Cipher frowned and nodded “I know, I know. I’m a Changeling. I’ve been getting that a bit today. I thought it best to be in the company of ponies who know me.”

North smiled “I know what will cheer you up Cipher, some music. There’s DJ equipment setup inside.”, Foggy nodded “The Landlord’s got nothing booked this afternoon I’ll be able to convince him for us to use it.”

Cipher gulped “Me sing in a pub?”, he’d only ever sung to himself or in his dreams, “I’m fine playing the tuba, it’s not my voice.”

“Oh, come on.” North said, “We’re just having fun.”, Cipher across the table seeing the encouraging faces “Alright.”

Inside the Landlord agreed, Cipher didn’t want to go first so Listener went up first.

“There I was, digging this hole… Hole in the ground… So, big and sort of round it was… And there was I digging it deep… It was flat at the bottom, and the sides were step… When along comes this bloke in a bowler, which he lifted and scratched his head… Oh, he looked down the hole, poor demented soul and he said…

“Don’t dig it there… Dig it elsewhere… You’re digging it round and it ought to be square… The shape of it’s wrong… It’s much too long… And you can’t put a hole where a hole don’t belong…

“Well, there I was stood my hole… Shovelling earth… For all that I was worth I was… And there was him, standing up there… So, grand and official with his noise in the air… So, I gave him a look sort of sideways and I leaned on my shovel inside… Oh, brush of the dirt… Tucked in my shirt and replied…

“I just couldn’t bear… To did it elsewhere… I’m digging it round as I don’t want it square… And if you disagree it don’t bother me… That’s the place where the hole’s going to be…

“So, there we were, discussing this hole… Hole in the ground… So, big and sort of round it was… But it’s not there now… The ground’s all flat… And beneath it is the bloke, in the bowler hat… And that’s that.”

Foggy stood up next and glared at Listener as he took his place, he took a breath and started his song “If I ruled the world… Every day would be the first day of spring… Every heart would have a new song to sing… And we’d sing of the joy every morning would bring… If I ruled the world…”

Listener cut in “Hey Foggy, better be careful what you sing or you could find yourself in trouble.” He laughed.

Foggy fumed “If the audience going to be like that then I won’t waste my talents.” He walked back to his seat.

Cipher got a couple of nodded and he gulped. At the microphone, he spoke “This is just a small nonsense song I created while growing up and hearing things from older Changelings in the hive.” He cleared his throat “Round… Like a circle in a spiral… Like a wheel within a wheel… Never ending or beginning… On an ever-spinning reel… Like a snowball down a mountain… Or a carnival balloon… Like a carousel that’s turning… Running rings around the moon… Like a clock whose arms are sweeping… Past the minutes of its face… And the world is like an apple… Whirling silently in space… Like the circles that you find… In the windmills of your mind…

“Like a tunnel that you follow… To a tunnel of its own… Down a hollow to a cavern… Where the sun has never shown… Like a door that keeps revolving… In a half forget dream… Or the ripple from a pebble… Some-pony tosses in a stream… Like a clock whose arms are sweeping… Past the minutes of its face… And the world is like an apple… Whirling silently in space… Like the circles that you find… In the windmills of your mind…

“Keys that jiggle in your pocket… Words that jangle in your head… Why did summer go so quickly… Was it something that you said? Lovers walk along the shore… And leave their hoof-prints in the sand… Is the sound of distant drumming just the fingers of you hand? Pictures hanging in a hallway… And a fragment of this song… Half remembered names and faces… But to whom do they belong? When you knew that it was over… You suddenly aware… That the autumn leaves were turning… To the colour of her hair…

“Like a circle in a spiral… Like a wheel within a wheel… Never ending or beginning… On an ever-spinning reel… As the images unwind… Like the circle that you find… In the windmills of your mind…”

Night and North looked at each other and they look back and said together “That’s quite a good baritone.”

Cipher blinked “You think I’m good?”, they all nodded, even the Landlord who spoke “Do you know anymore?”

“Well,” Cipher said looking down “there is one I wrote. About a fear of mine.”

Listener frowned “What could a Changeling fear?”

Cipher shut his eyes as whispered, into the microphone “Losing Fluttershy.”

North spoke “Losing? What do you mean?”

“Losing her, in any sense. Do you want me to sing it?”

Listener grunted “Just sing it already.”

“Okay,” Cipher took a couple of deep breaths, remembering the lyrics made his eye water, he slumped onto his flank “Yesterday… All my troubles seemed so far away… Now it looks as though they're here to stay… Oh, I believe in yesterday…

“Suddenly… I'm not half the colt I used to be… There's a shadow hanging over me… Oh, yesterday came suddenly…

“Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say…I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday…

“Yesterday… Love was such an easy game to play… Now I need a place to hide away… Oh, I believe in yesterday…

“Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say… I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday…

“Yesterday… Love was such an easy game to play… Now I need a place to hide away… Oh, I believe in yesterday…” He hummed the last part, he shut his eyes and tears fell.

He felt some-pony wrap their hooves around him, and a soft cheek press against his. He opened his eyes and he met the yellow and pink. Fluttershy shed tears herself and whispered softly “I’m not going to leave you Cipher, you’re one of the few stallion, one of the few ponies who truly understands me. Discord is a friend who’s learning, Twilight and the others know enough about me to understand, but even they get it wrong. You Cipher you understand me, because, just seeing this, I can see some of myself in you, and I’m not ashamed at what I see. I,” she whimpered “this sounds so cliché but, I, I’ve, fallen in love with you.”

Cipher remained still and spoke just as softly as she did “Fluttershy, I, I’m not sure how to put it…”, she shushed him “You put it in the emotion you sang. You don’t have to tell me I know already.” And she kissed him on the cheek.

From the door, Twilight Velvet and Fortune joined their husbands. Velvet leaned into Night and whispered, “Twilight was right, they do look so cute together.”

North planted a kiss onto Fortune’s forehead before clearing his throat “Well now, why don’t we check on Billy Ignoble, shall we?”

Fortune nodded “I’ll want to see how he’s doing get it ready for the Everfree Fair.”

Foggy looked at her as they all existed “Billy’s showcasing the old piece of off-key brass at something as important as the Everfree Fair?”

Altogether, Fortune, Fluttershy and Twilight Velvet said, “It was Ivy and Light-Honour Batty.”, both Foggy and Listener nodded with understanding.

Billy polished the cart “Who’s a pretty cart then?” He beamed.

A familiar voice called “At least it looks clean.”, Billy turned around as Foggy, his friends, three mares, a male Unicorn and to his surprise a very bright Changeling walked up. Introductions exchanged quickly. Billy still smiled “I'm so proud of this beauty because they said that I, Billy Ignoble would never amount to anything. I remember they even gave it to me in writing.”

Foggy snorted. Cipher nudged him and gave his stern Changeling look.

“I believed them.” Billy continued “I took it for granted that I'd be, no-pony, forever, that I was doomed to wander the streets through a cruel world, without recognition. Even at family gatherings, my dad used to say, “Oh, this is our thingamabob.” And my mother used to say, “it’s our what’s-is-name.” Obviously, my parents didn't want me.”

Fluttery whimpered “Oh, you poor thing.”

Then Billy brightened “But the world should see me now.” He started dance in sang after lines “If they could see me now… That little gang of mine… I’m eating fine chow… And drinking fancy wine…” he even did a couple of tap dance steps.

Foggy leaned into the others “The stallion’s delusional, all this over a faulty fairground organ.”

Billy stopped and ran to the front “Don't just stand there. Mane’s aboard. Stallion’s help me pull.”, Listener piped in “Hey Billy, I should tell thee I have this terrible back.”

Foggy rolled his eyes “Here we go again, the phantom back.”, they hitched him to a yoke anyway.

Cipher and Fluttershy stay on the ground, Cipher explained “We’re using the Mail Couch to transport Ivy and Mrs Batty.” And they flew off.

They rode into town and met up with Ivy and Mrs Batty, Billy’s cleaning impressed them.

They went into the outskirts of the village.

Foggy put one of his hind leg deep into a pothole and broke it. As the stallions helped him up the mare around at where they stopped.
A graveyard. Reverend Farthing walked out followed by Vigil and her assistants bearing a coffin, Musky Scott’s. Walking behind one lonely mare, Mrs Scott. Ivy spoke up “She on her own.”

Fortune spoke up “Well, he was never going to be popular.”

Fluttershy whimpered “Oh, the poor dear.”, the mares looked at each other and nodded. Then the stallions looked at the funeral, looked at other each and shrugged. They joined Mrs Scott at the grave.

Farthing read out the prayer “We have entrusted Mustard Scott to God’s mercy, and now we commit his body to the ground. Earth to earth. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.”

At this moment, the doors to Billy’s cart opened and it started playing music, in perfect harmony, but Billy didn’t care about the music, he needed to stop it. He rushed over and tried to find the fault.

Farthing looked up to the sky, smirked and shook his head, he continued and projected over the music “In sure and certain hope of resurrection to eternal life…”

Billy climbed up into the compartment with the pipes. And suddenly the doors closed.

Farthing finished the funeral.

After getting Billy out and with Listener and Cipher’s help, fixed the fault. The group rode and towed themselves into Ponyville to take part in the fair.

With a bandaged Foggy guarding the organ Billy walked over to Mrs Scott “Sorry about the organ.”, she grinned “No, love. It proved a lot of ponies wrong. They all said it would be a quiet funeral.”

Laughing, Billy returned to the organ and readied the next roll you play.

A knock came from the side. Billy looked out and there stood a female pony dressed in a ringmaster’s costume “Excuse me, are you owner of this fine machine?”

“Yes, Billy Ignoble at you service Miss?”

“Banger. Carol Banger. Head of Banger’s Circus, I’m recruiting for my next tour and I must say this organ of yours is very finely tuned sir.”
“Oh, thank you, I only had about twenty-four hours to fix her, but I did it. There are a few faults to sort out, I do plan to repaint her though.”
“Well them, might I suggest these colours,” she gave over a flyer with bright colours “I’m offering you and your organ a place in this coming tour, this will be a real crowd drawer.”

Billy’s eye widened “Really?” He jumped for joy and danced.

Banger smiled and walked off to talk with the Unicorn mare dressed in the wizard’s outfit.

Riolu licked his ice cream as sat on Cipher back. The Changeling and Fluttershy stayed close as they up to the stage in front of the Castle where the Council of Friendship sat with Twilight and of the other Princesses. Fluttershy gave Cipher one last hug before ascending the stair to take her seat, she still looked at Cipher.

Pinkie turned to her and grinned widely “Ooh, I think some-pony’s in love…”

Applejack quickly put her hoof in Pinkie’s mouth “Don’t embarrass the gal in front of every-pony.” She then turned to Fluttershy and grinned “Though it’s about time you and Cipher got together.”

Rainbow nudged “Good for you Flutters.”

Fluttershy blushed “I don’t want to make it public yet, may be not ever, but,” she smiled “Cipher and I have said we love each other.”
Princess Twilight smiled for her friend and turned to Cadance “Can you tell if it’s going to work?”, Cadance smirked and gave a small nod.
Princess Celestia stood up “May I have every-ponies’ attention?”

The crowd fell silent and quickly assembled to the stage. Billy shut off steam to his organ. They all bowed.

Celestia nodded “Please raise my little ponies. I had original plan to make this during the Ponyville day celebrations however events meant this Decree needed to be postponed. After today copies of this shall be sent throughout Equestria.” She brought out a scroll and read it aloud.

“Royal Decree. By the power vested in Princess Celestia of the Sun, and approved by Princess Luna of the Moon and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of Love and the Crystal Empire, it is henceforth decreed that a new kingdom shall be formed. A kingdom whose territories includes not only the town of Ponyville and its surrounding lands up to and including the settlement of Huntersfield and Rockville, but also the adjacent region of the Everfree Forest.

“This new nation, which will officially be called the Everfree Kingdom, will be ruled over by Princess Twilight Sparkle, born of Canterlot, and Princess of Friendship, will be the appointed monarch of this new land, as such she shall carry the additional title of Everfree Princess.”

And there came much rejoicing.

Author's Note

This chapter was a tribute to Last of the Summer Wine, one of my favourite British Sitcoms.

05/06/2017: The very Last of the Summer Wine has been drunk. Peter Sallis “Norman Clegg”, the oldest surviving member of the original cast has passed away. May he Rest in Peace.

Changeling the Heights

Time came for the post to be on its way in Ponyville. Cipher left the Post Office very cheerful. The other day he and Fluttershy made their relationship official, at least to themselves and their closest friends, although Fluttershy still need to tell her family and Discord.

Cipher post the parcels into the cart and climbed onto the driver’s seat “Time to get a move on Riolu.” He started the cart up, ever since Time Turner replaced the battery crystal with spark plug the start-up took longer. Cipher didn’t like the delay however small.

With the official decree, it meant the Ponyville Post Office became the Head Office of the Royal Everfree Mail, as well as the main sorting office. Now letters coming and going across the borders need to be signed off for transfers as well as rubber stamped before being transported. Of course, this addition of red tape meant Muffins could get a little extra pay.

Before he left the town, Cipher stopped at the Castle of Friendship to see the Reverend Farthing. Spike let in him and escorted him through the castle. Cipher only came to the Castle ever in Fluttershy’s invitation or to deliver the post, he did start familiarising the corridors and turns but he agreed with Starlight, they should be signpost about.

Riolu meanwhile got escorted to Twilight’s study for another session of Jakhowl studying.

Cipher knocked on the door of the Reverend’s chambers, the Vicarage Wing as Twilight and Flash, perhaps in slight joking, referred to it.

The door opened and Farthing looked up at smiled “Hello Cipher. I’m so glad you’re here in such good time.”

“Morning Reverend.”, Farthing looked down “Dear me, what a rush.”

“What’s the hurry?”

“Oh, do come in. I’m sure you can help.”

Inside his chamber, Cipher looked around, Farthing never allowed him inside before. A king-sized bed with silk. Silver Enlightenment Iconography.

A few framed pictures of roughly fifteen stallions and mares, Cipher looked closely, a coat of arms underneath the pictures, black and red with a crown and the word ‘Crown’s House, Theological College, Fillydelphia’, below the coat of arms a Pegasopolis motto, ‘Video caelos apertos.’ Which per Twilight translates to ‘I see the heavens opened’, part of the speech the Silver Enlightened preacher appointed by the Twelve Apostles after the Holy Spirit descend on them. Crown’s speech got rejected, even by the future Inquirer of Bridle. Cipher didn’t quite understand the Silver Enlightenment, not enough to believe in it, nor did he believe in religion, but he humoured Twilight, Flash and the Reverend.

On the table below the window rested a portable altarpiece, blank but close by sat a piece of paper with a drawing. Twilight kneeling on one side with Flash beside her and a few other figures, the other side a Unicorn mare hold an infant Earth Pony foal, and the outlines of other figures.

The Reverend walked over to another table and with his magic pulled a seat up “This hurry is all to do with Miss Cheerilee and the Major, and at the last minutes, very unlike them, their giving a film show, all about, oh, what did the Major say? Something about flying.”

Cipher frowned, he took a piece of paper from the pile, identical to the one the Reverend held “It say here’s there’s going to be a surprise arrival.”

A whistling sounded and the Reverend turned to another room in the chamber “That’s the kettle, care for a cup of tea Cipher.”
“Oh, yes please.”

While they had the tea, the Reverend told him “Bring Fluttershy, as many ponies as you can, the thing is, there’s not much time to tell ponies.”, Cipher lifted his cup “Oh, don’t worry I’ll tell every-pony, I see most folks on my round.” He took a sip.

Farthing stirred his tea “That’s very kind Cipher, if you could give them a leaflet as well. Parcel Post is printing them out.”, Cipher nodded “Well, I need to go back through High Street to get to my first call today. I’ll stop by and see how he’s doing.” He put the cup down “Thanks for the tea. Bye.”

He left the Vicarage Wing and went in search of Riolu.

He went down to Twilight’s study and laboratory where the bizarre mirror. He found Riolu sitting meditating in the middle with his odd colander like helmet on his head. The appendages on his head floated.

Cipher went to Twilight at the readout. There can off readings of normal. No magical registered. Twilight hummed, she didn’t take the unknown as a challenge like a couple of years ago, when she tried to figure out the Pinkie Sense, and since becoming Silver Enlightened she understood the true nature of God cannot be fully understood.

But here with Riolu, she couldn’t help but wonder, what could this ability of Riolu’s be?

The reading suddenly spiked and Riolu barked happily, Twilight turned as Cipher walked in “Sorry Twilight, it’s just I need to get going on my rounds and I’d prefer it if Riolu were with me.”

Twilight sighed “Of course, on progress today sadly.”

Cipher took off the head gear from the pup before asking “Do you know what the Major and Cheerilee are planning?”

She shook her head “Only they it’s a film show, I offered the entrance hall for their use. I’d don’t quite know what the Major intends, the film is meant to be about flying, I’d think that more Rainbow Dash’s department.”

“Well, maybe the Major knows a Pegasus for his time in the Royal Guard and the films are from the Pegasus, maybe this Pegasus is the surprise arrival.”

“Could be. I’ll have to ask Flash if he knows of any ex-military Pegasi who were filmmakers.”, Cipher tilted his head “No that I think about I think we may be barking up the wrong tree.”, he felt a small nudge and a growl “Sorry Riolu,” he turned back to a confused Twilight, “He doesn’t like that phrase, makes canines appear stupid apparently.”, Twilight still looked confused but didn’t question it, just another oddity of a Jakhowl pup.

Cipher and Riolu walked back to the cart. Cipher couldn’t help wondering what this surprise arrival the leaflet advertised. Would the Major dress up in something? He did talk with Rarity and Flash about a proper ceremonial uniform for the Everfree Guard. Maybe Doctor Time Turner got around the making the Reservists’ troop transport, or maybe the Major got a staff chariot or a luxury carriage. Perhaps Parcel would know about these things.

He parked outside the printer’s shop. However, he couldn’t hear the press working. Perhaps Parcel finished with the leaflets. He knocked and enter “Morning Parcel.”

Parcel looked up “Hello Cipher, you came just in time.” He tightened a nut. Before him a small rotary beam engine sitting atop a large wooden box base with lot of gauges on there. Small being a relative term, smaller than some of the over beam engines in the world, but still large enough to take up an entire wall of the shop. On the flywheel, a large gear, which meshed with a small one, the crack attached to the smaller gear ended with a horseshoe magnet and above them, two pieces of iron wrapped with wire.

“What’s this?” Cipher said walking up.

“This is something I had Time Turner. Bennie, she’s based on water pump engines, but in this case, she’s going to generate electricity.” He pointed to the electric motor which dives the printing press, “My battery crystal ran out the other day. And I’ve got orders to fill, so I can’t wait to connect the shop to the dam generators upriver just yet. So, Time Turner built Bennie as a temporary electric generator.”
“Doesn’t the dam us turbines? How does Bennie work?”

“Well, Time Turner told me electrically by moving a magnet over copper wire.” He pointed to the flywheel “She’ll spin the magnet to generate the current so I can power the electric motor.”

Cipher tilted his head “Couldn’t you have just gotten a small steam engine to power the press?”

“There would be coal dust to near the press. With Binnie, I can keep the boiler and the firebox as far as possible. Let’s get her going.” He started moving the two levers and the beam started inching, and the ammeters and voltmeters started to register. After a few goes the engine started moving on her own and soon the flywheel and the magnet spun like made.

Parcel turned to Cipher “We’ve until we get enough charge in the battery. Before we can start the motor.”

Cipher sat back and watched, true eat into this time, but something about pony technology really interested him. For Changeling, they did things by hoof, no machines, they could do tough work due to their exoskeletons, but he understood ponies did have the magical stone of Her Tragedy’s throne to help them develop into what the Changelings became. So, it made perfect sense to make a heavy-duty machine to do the work.

As Cipher watch he imagined a more massive version of this machine pumping gallons upon gallons of water. And a song appeared in his head ‘Steam driven beam engine pumping away… With a kick and a clack and a gurgle-gurgle-bump… Pumping up water by night and by day… With a kick and a clack and a gurgle-gurgle-bump…

‘Flywheel spinning around and around… Drawing up water from deep in the ground… Wheel turning, coal burning, steam driven beam engine… With a kick and a clack and a gurgle-gurgle-bump…’

Parcel looked at the charge in the battery and nodded “That should be enough to get printing.” He walked over to the board with his order “Now, what to do first?”

“Parcel?” Cipher explained about the need for the leaflets. Parcel nodded, he went to the motor, pressed the start button, the press whirred into life. He assembled the type based on the leaflet the Major gave him. Readied his sheets of paper and put the ink onto the plate.

Cipher helped him so the job could get done faster. With what Parcel told him to do Cipher needed to use his hooves instead of his magic.
They tested the roller, it went over the ink collecting some of it and rolled over the type putting the ink over the letters, added some more ink to the pad. Moved the tables into place. Slipped one sheet onto the platen. Pushed a lever down, a gear slipped into place and the started to rhythm of the press. Roller up and down. Platen into the type and out. Parcel quickly moved the printed sheet as the roller came down again.

At the end, Cipher, slightly mucky with ink took the pile of leaflets to the cart. Riolu thought Cipher needed a wash. Perhaps a good licking would do, then he saw the stickiness of the ink and thought not. Cipher started the plugs and they rolled away, down the High Street, out onto a winding road and around it to the right, up and over a hill.

North-Eastern Windmill, next stop. Cipher turned into the yard.

The sails turned with their odd sounds signifying a grinding day for the Millers.

Windy and Dotty stood next to their cart. Windy load bags of flour onto into while Dotty stood guard with a pitchfork. Windy slung another bag onto the cart and then turned around, he spotted Cipher and smiled “Hello Cipher.”, Dotty smiled “Morning Cipher.”

“Morning every-pony.”, Windy looked Cipher over, still with the black printer’s ink on him “A mucky one if you ask me. I wish you told up you were sweeping chimneys in your spare time, we’ve got a couple that need doing.”, Dotty giggled but spoke “Don’t you listen to him Cipher, but we’ve got plenty of hot water if you’d like a wash.”

Cipher smiled but shook his head “No thanks Dotty, there isn’t the time, I’m a bit late as it is, and what with all this post to deliver, and these leaflets about the Major’s film show to give out.” Cipher passed over the post and a couple leaflets. Windy took the post and Dotty took the leaflets and read them, she smiled “Oh yes we’ll come alright.”, the Windy chuckled “So long as we don’t get mucky faces like yours Cipher.”, and Dotty giggled again.

Cipher walked back to the cart laughing “Oh, there’s no chance of that happening. Bye.”

“Cheerio.” They both said.

As Cipher rolled out the yard a chicken jumped out of the way. Cipher then went down a hill, followed the round around to the right and onto Time Turner’s.

The doctor sorted out some planks of wood outside his workshop when Cipher arrived. He walked up to the cart as Cipher arrived “Hello Cipher.”

“Hello Time,” Cipher said and passed him one of the leaflets and a letter. Time Turner read it out “A film show?” He continued reading on “I’ve always been interested in flying, I’ll defiantly be there.” Then he turned to Cipher and looked at the ink on him “But what have you been up to Cipher? Tried to mend the cart again?”

Cipher sighed “Oh, it’s a long story, and I haven’t go time to stop.” He started the cart again “Anyway I’ll see you at the film show. Bye.” And he rolled way.

Cipher next stop would be the last for the day. He rolled back into the village and stopped at a lone semi-detached house. Both houses included workshops and storeroom, the one of the left belonged the Sentry family, North, Fortune and First Base, Flash lived in the Castle of Friendship. The house on the right belonged to the best builder and decorator in Ponyville. A Pegasus stallion named Copperfield. An old friend of Fortune. Copperfield sat in his front garden asleep. A pale-yellow coat with a brown mane, highlighted by two paint streaks of dark and pale purple.

Cipher stopped at the garden gate and narrowed his eyes. Fresh wet paint glinted in the sunlight. Copperfield did not like wasting materials, so whenever he has paint left over he paints the gate. Every-pony knows this and steers clear of Copperfield’s gate, expect for some reason the Post-stallions.

Cipher got caught out by this a couple of times when he started, but he learnt to always open Copperfield’s gate with his magic. Parcel Post on the other hoof having no magic, always ended up with paint on his hoof and the letters delivered after Copperfield became very hard to put down. Muffins when see delivered the post in between Parcel and Cipher got around this be flying over the gate. Cipher did this usually as well, but whenever Copperfield sat asleep or distracted he would use the gate like a doorbell for the garden.

Cipher stepped into the garden and shut the gate. Copperfield jumped awake, then sighed “Oh, it you.”

“Cipher, I’ve got you post.” Cipher passed them over and then the leaflet “I wonder if this may interest you.”, Copperfield looked up again and read it, he hummed and turned back to his front door. Just the reaction Cipher expected, Copperfield seemed more a thinker than a talker, or so Fortune said, when she first talked to Cipher on this matter, saying “You’d surprised how deep Copperfield thinks.”, Cipher responded by say “He doesn’t let much of it out then?”, she agreed, Copperfield couldn’t have a decent conversation to save his life. Just before Copperfield went inside he turned back and said, “Mind the gate.”

Cipher gave a small nodded “And a good day to you too Copperfield.” He fluttered over the gate.

“Watch out Cipher!” said young voice, it sounded like First Base. Something hit Cipher in the head. He shook himself, thank goodness for his exoskeleton. He looked down to the ground and found the broken half of a shield. He looked up to the garden of the Sentry house. First Base came running up in a suit of armour, with a lance strapped to the side. He looked guilty “Sorry Cipher.” He took his helmet off “Me and Aura were playing.”

An Earth Pony Filly with a lavender coat, devoid of a cutie mark, a turquoise mane and light turquoise eyes dressed equally in armour with another lance, and the other half of the shield in her hoof.

Cipher blinked “Jousting?” he exclaimed “Why are you two jousting at your age? And where did you get the armour?”

“Well,” First said, looking a little embarrassed, then Aura spoke up “Mr Sir Lionheart gave it to him as a present.”

“Flash’s mentor gave a minor all the stuff of a Royal Guard member?” He fluttered over the gate “I’m going to speak with you father about this.”

“No!” First said, “not now, Mom’s got day upstairs for something, private.”

“Oh, I see,” Cipher flew over the gate again “then I’ll speak to Flash.”

Riolu walked up and handed the broken bit of shield over to Aura, she took it and nodded “Thank you.” When hoof and paw meet, there came small discharge of blue energy passed between them. It looked like magic, but to Cipher it felt deeper and somehow more mysterious than magic.

Aura smiled and patted Riolu, who looked wide-eyed, before she and First went back to the garden. Cipher tapped Riolu on the shoulder “Let’s go and talk to Twilight and Flash about this.”, the Jakhowl nodded but then bark and pointed to the ink on his body. Cipher looked at himself and sighed “Okay maybe a bath first.”, Riolu chuckled and they rode back home.

Cipher entered the house and found Fluttershy inside, he blinked “Fluttershy? You don’t usually come down today, or most days in fact.”
She regressed into her mane “While, I,” she looked up and squeaked “Oh my, what happened to you?”, Cipher explained about the ink. She nodded “Then,” she blushed “let me help you.”, Cipher blinked and stepped back “Fluttershy you don’t have to.”

Riolu nudged Cipher forward. Fluttershy took his hoof “I, insist. Come on.” She dragged him into the bathroom.

She turned the taps and readied the soap, she turned around to a shaking Cipher “Well? Aren’t you going to get in?”

“But Fluttershy, you’re here, and I’ll be…”, they both blushed but Fluttershy spoke “I’d like to stay and help you wash, but if you don’t.” She began to walk to the door.

Cipher took her hoof “Wait,” she looked to him. Cipher gulped and spoke “I know this sounds bizarre but, can you,” his blush deepened “join me?”, her blush deepened to “Join, join you? In the…” her eyes darted to the bath. Cipher nodded “Changelings usually bath communally, not sure why since Her Tragedy raised up to hate each, but love her, our individual plunder of love for her glory. You wouldn’t believe the fights that would occur in the bathhouses. Even me of my position bathed with my colleagues.”

“Your position?”, Cipher blinked “Oh, I didn’t tell you, did I?”, he then explained to her about being one of Chrysalis’s harem. Fluttershy squeaked and blushed heavily. Cipher hugged and give her a small kiss “You know you’re very cute when you’re embarrassed. All I was saying was that I’m used to having company in my bath. I won’t force you.”

She smiled and rubbed her cheek against him “I don’t mind.” She blushed at her boldness. Next moment she found herself in the air and gently lowered into the bath, followed by Cipher himself. Fluttershy covered herself in the bubbles as she watched Cipher washed the ink of his hide. Her breathing deepened as she observed the water running down his body, up close she couldn’t help but admire his size, the second largest Changeling she knew of, Chrysalis and Thorax both tied as first, Cipher roughly match Big Mac in size, true Bulk Bicep did far outsized Applejack’s brother, and though a friend to him due to their time together in the Ponyville Equestria Games Flight Team, she could help but fine Bulk’s appearance bit grotesques and overdone, he’d pushed himself way too far. Big Mac and Cipher on the other hoof looked just right for strong stallions, Big Mac being a full-blown workhouse and Cipher as she now, rather embarrassingly understood, a, possible, sex god, among the Changelings.

She blushed again and closed the gap between them and took sponge “Here let me.” She took hold of his water body and began scrubbing the ink of him. He hummed and leaned into her, the water from his body dripped onto hers making her coat and mane cling to her skin, showing off the outline of her body. She bit her lip as she felt his hoof travel up her back. Less than a week ago, they acknowledged their love for each other and now Cipher seemed to be turning more intermate, she didn’t truly mind though, it just caused her more excitement than she needed now. She quickly looked over his body and nodded “Okay, the ink off.” She climbed the bath and shaking slightly she grabbed and towel.

Cipher sighed and got out. More causally he took another towel and they dried themselves. Fluttershy stole glances at him, amazed at his calm attitude she felt weak at the knee, he impressed her “How can you be so, okay with this?”

“I’m used to it. But,” he paused and shivered “if we ever do get to,” he blushed “that point, I, unsure, how I’ll act.”

She tilted her head as she wrapped her mane in the towel.

Cipher shut his eyes and shuddered “All my experience with it was with, her,” his gritted his teeth “Her Tragedy.” His back legs shut together and winced “Rough, too fast and she just wouldn’t stop.”

Flutter blushed hard and used her wings to hide herself “How, long did you go through this?”, Cipher shrugged “We don’t have clock or calendars in the Changeling Kingdom, or at least until King Thorax introduced them, but I know was hatched after the Wedding Invasion.”

“Cadance and Shinning Armour’s wedding?” She exclaimed “You’re, you’re less than two year’s old!”

He nodded “I wouldn’t be surprised that Riolu is older than me. We developed similarities to insects so it shouldn’t surprise you we develop like insects too.”

“Metamorphosis?”

He nodded “During Her Tragedy’s reign we grew like grasshoppers and cockroaches.”

“And dragonflies.” Fluttershy nodded. Cipher looked to his wings and smiled “I guess so. We started off as grubs and we would moult our exoskeletons and grow before the shell hardens. Then we grew wings, small thin wings, I never liked them, I just had this feeling of incompleteness, but Her Tragedy kept on saying we were fully grown Changelings.”

“Then Thorax and Starlight showed you things could be different?”

“I think our previous for must have been the final stage before a cocoon stage, and this form might actually be our proper adult form, our butterfly fly stage perhaps. Before we must have still been children, ignorant and dependent on our mother, who feed us with misinformation and built herself into a demi-god in a cult of personality.”

“But,” she blushed and came nearer “why are you, so big?”

He shrugged “Maybe I was a large grub, and Her Tragedy feed me and my colleagues more so we’d grow larger still.” He sighed “Just thinking about what she did to us, all of us, make me sad and ashamed to be a Changeling.”

“No,” Fluttershy said firmly “you shouldn’t be ashamed of what you are. I was never a great flyer like Rainbow Dash, only in an emergency will I do something on her level. I used to be so afraid at flying and performing in front of other ponies, sometimes I still am, but I’m not ashamed. Cipher, you’re no longer under the hoof of Chrysalis, you’ve got a great mind, magic more develop than any other Changeling, a,” she smiled and blushed “big and strong body.” She took his hooves into hers “And the stallion I love. So please don’t be sad.” She leaned closer and closed her eyes.

Cipher blinked, then smiled and leaned down.

Their lips touch. Fluttershy gave a small pleased hum. Cipher took a breath and felt the deep love power him, his tongue slipped across his lips and accidently brushed hers. She squeaked and opened her eyes and stared into his deep passion filled orbs she hummed again and leaned herself into him. Cipher took this as a sigh to deepen the kiss, she eagerly allowed him and their tongues danced around each other, his caressed each part of her mouth, slid across her teeth. Fluttershy moaned into his mouth before she pushed into.

Cipher needed to lean back and sit down to keep her against him as her tongue slid across the much smaller fangs in his mouth.

The more he breathed the more of her love his consumed. He lost his sense of time, he started feeling lightheaded and he fell onto his back with her sprawled over his front.

Their kissing continued for several minutes. Until Cipher’s lips parted with hers and his head touched the ground. Fluttershy looked down and found him asleep but smiling with blushing red face ‘He must have passed out. Like taking too much cider.’ She giggled ‘Twilight will want to know about this.’

There came knock on the door. Fluttershy opened it to find a bored Riolu. She cooed “Come here Riolu. Let’s get Cipher into bed then you can help me with at the cottage.”, Riolu gave a bark and saluted, Fluttershy bit her lip at his adorableness.

They got Cipher into his bed and she wrote a note and placed it beside his bed so when he woke up he would know where to go.

After waking, Cipher read the letter but decided to go and sort out some other matters before calling on Fluttershy and Riolu.

He went to the Castle of Friendship and told Flash about First Base and the jousting, Flash immediately went to a word with is little brother. Cipher reminded Flash about the film show and he said he’d tell his parents, no doubt they would bring Helmet Listener and Foggy Dew, if not all their friends from Huntersfield.

Then Cipher spoke to Twilight about the energy he witnessed between Riolu and Aura.

Twilight recalled Aura being the filly Rainbow Dash saved from the well before the Mysterious Mare Do Well business, and seeing her among the foals, First Base included who came to watch the CMC while she taught them. And come to think of it seem saw a filly virtually identical to Aura in Starlight’s old village, only with a duller coat and mane, although it could have simply been the dull atmosphere of the village.

But if something happened between her and Riolu it may have a connection to the mysterious of the Jakhowl. She would need to speak with her a preferably her parents, perhaps they knew a thing or two.

After Cipher went away she arranged to meet with Aura and her family.

Aura arrived in the afternoon with a Unicorn mare with a pink coat, a dark heliotrope mane and tail with moderate heliotrope eyes. Her cutie mark, a flame behind a symbol of a circle with an arrow sprouting forth from the circumference. The mare looked to be at least ten years older than Twilight. Two crows flew in through the window and landed at the mare’s hooves.

Starlight blinked in surprise when the mare walked in “Miss Heart?”, Twilight turned to her former student and she explained “Burning Heart, she lived in the village me and Sunburst grew up in.”

Heart turned to Starlight “I heard you got yourself into trouble.”, Starlight looked down. Heart just looked with narrow and cold eyes. Then she turned to Twilight “So, what’s this about?”

Twilight blinked at Burning Heart’s blunt attitude. Twilight explained about the blue energy.

Heart’s eye widened and looked down to Aura “I didn’t expect you to develop your powers that fast.” She smirked and rubbed the filly’s mane “Your old stallion would have been proud.” She then looked up to the others in the room “Before you ask, no, I’m not referring to my husband, I’ve never been one for relationships, and before you ask I’m Aura’s godmother and her legal guardian. And on her powers, she’s called Aura for a reason.”

Starlight narrowed her eyes as thought “Aura? I’m remember, Meadowbrook mentioning something about that in her supplementary notes on the eight enchanted items.”

A hoof hit the ground and every-pony turned to a wide-eyed Flash “Of course, Sir High Mountain.”

“Flash?” Twilight asked.

“Sir High Mountain was a Royal Knight from the east, around the same area Meadowbrook came from. He was a part of the Royal Knight the same time as the Brigadier. His notes were very minimal but he said High Mountain could read minds, sense emotions, even for a distance, navigate perfectly while blindfolded, and create barriers and attack moves out of blue energy called aura.”

Heart nodded “It’s different from magic.”

Twilight blinked “So that’s why I’ve not been able to detect anything from Riolu? It’s not magic?”

“No, it’s more kin to willpower. Aura is the energy of the essence of every living creature. Spirit energy it sometime called.”

“Spirit?” Flash asked, “Like as in the soul?”, Heart nodded “That’s how Riolu could hurt Discord, he’s not a physical being, but a spiritual one, “Spirit of Chaos” remember.”

“So Riolu can use aura?”, Heart nodded “Jakhowls are natural users, any being can by aura sensitive, and trained to use it. Aura’s father Valiant chose me as her godmother because I could find out how could train her to control her powers.” She sighed “I’ll have to start on that. Sorry but we can’t stay here all day.” And the two quickly left.

Twilight turned to Starlight and to two nodded. Flash smirked “Let me guess, you two are going to the library?”

“Yes.” They both said and Twilight continued “Could you bring Sir Defender Warden’s notes as a reference.”, Flash nodded and walked out of the Castle.

The day of the film show came. Spike and Time Turner set up the projector, making sure they did not have the trouble Spike did when he tried to work a film projector for the Cloudsdale water presentation. Miss Cheerilee escorted the foals down to the fort of the entrance halls, the only fully public part of the Castle, to explore it you needed Twilight’s permission.

The Reverend looked worried as Cipher arrived. As the Changeling approached Farthing asked, “Have you seen the Major Cipher?”

“Missing is he Reverend?”

“Did I tell you about the surprise?”

“I think you did mention it.”

“Yes, the Major promised there would be a surprise. But oh dear, he late.”

“I see, I’ll go up to Kimblewick Hall and see if he needs a hoof with anything. I won’t be.” And he got back onto the driver’s seat and quickly rolled away.

At Kimblewick Hall the scaffolding from the repair still stood, as Copperfield convinced the Major of some possible improvements.
Speak of the Major, Cipher couldn’t see any sign of him. Cipher rang the doorbell and waited at the door. Then a voice called from somewhere.

“Help! Attention! You down there.”, Cipher looked around it sounded like it came from the scaffolding he walked over “Hello?”

“Cipher!”, the Changeling looked up “Who’s that on the roof?” he called.

The Major waved from the basket of a hot air balloon “My jolly old anchor rope gotten mixed up with the chimneys, Porter’s taken ill today, so be a good fellow and climb up to see if you can cast me off.”

Cipher gulped and back up “You want me to go up there?”, like looked higher than anything he’d climb up before, and since he usually pent all his time on the ground he did know if he possessed a good head for heights. But he sighed knowing every-pony going to the film show depended on the Major arriving, so he climbed up but grumbled ‘Why is it I always get these jobs?’, he reached the top and asked to top question on his mind “What are you doing up here Major? In that basket thing?”

“There’s no time for ideal chat fellow. Catch hold of that rope.”, Cipher looked down to see a rope wrapped around a chimney with a sandbag tied to the end. The Changeling shook his head “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” He inched onto the triangular thatch of the hall roof. He pulled at one loop and pulled it over the chimney then the next.

“Hurry up that fellow.” The Major called “I’m late as it is!”, Cipher got the late loop over, then everything happened at once. The wind caught the balloon and the Major pulled at the burner and the balloon started moving. Cipher in his panic grabbed onto the basket, his wing fluttered frantically and his hind legs kicked about frightened as they dangled in the air.

The Major meanwhile acted oblivious as he checked the sandbags over. “Sorry Cipher,” he said, “can’t stop, just hang on for dear life.”

“I am.”

“I thought you could fly?”

“Only in short burst or low to the ground, my old position in the hive meant I was usually confined in Her Tragedy’s chambers.”, the Major nodded and gave Cipher a hoof in.

Once firmly in the basket Cipher looked about “There’s the Town Hall,” he then chuckled “and the Post Office.”, then he frowned “Major? There’s a tree coming.”

“Don’t worry I see it. I’ll give her a blast.” He pulled on the burnings and they just crested the canopy of the tree. As they approached the Castle of Friendship the Major pulled on another cord and let the hot air out and they descended.

Miss Cheerilee and the Reverend couldn’t believe their eyes, Farthing chuckled “What a surprise indeed. Cipher and Major Green Field dropping from the skies.”

The balloon landed with a bump. The Major tied the balloon to a nearby tree as he explained the mishap with the chimney and Cipher’s rescue. An owl popped out and raised an eyebrow before going back to into the tree to sleep.

The Reverend looked at the balloon amazed “I would have never guessed Major that you were an expect in hot air balloon.”

“We used them for reconnaissance in the Fifth Regiment of Hoof. I’ll tell you more during the film show.”

The went inside and the Major walked to the screen “Hello every-pony, nice to see so many of you here today. I decided to share my adventures travelling by hot air balloon. I’ve been to several places around the world. Okay Spike!”

The dragon nodded and started the projector.

Cipher looked about the room. The more military minded of the audience sat interested as did Twilight, and Pinkie Pie who loved everything to do with balloons and an Earth Pony mare called Cherry Berry, but a couple of the audience started to fall asleep. Cipher listened with interest and on reflection he kind enjoyed the slow and quite drift of hot air balloons, it must be how the clouds felt. But he decided he would stay on the ground as often as possible.

An Exile and Avalanche

The rain poured down hard onto the station platform.

The Waterbury foals sat close to the open fire looking bored out of their minds.

Firelight spoke up “I hope Mother doesn’t get too cold up in Canterlot, we don’t want her ill again.”

Autumn looked through the window behind her and frowned and the sounds made by the freak rainstorm “It’s like being in a besieged castle. The arrows of the foe striking against the battlements.”

“No,” Stone said "it’s like a great big garden hose.”, Autumn didn’t look at her brother but said “You a great big garden hose.”

“Thank you.”

Firelight shook her head, her siblings, still too young to make sense sometimes.

The bell sounded and chuff started to fade in over the rain “Stop it you two, there’s a train coming.”

The train whistled and Perks came out of his office. Then paused in the rain, rushed back in, got his raincoat and huddled inside it called out “Ponyville. Ponyville Station.”

As the train stopped the doors to the carriages opened and some mare hesitantly got out of the carriages, Perks walked up to them “Come on ladies don’t mind the rain, it’s only a passing shower.”, the mares got out their umbrellas and opened them up. More ponies came out and Perks closed the doors behind them saying “Mind the doors please.”

The rain began to lessen so the foals came out to look.

Once the last of the doors shut he called to the guard “Right away Mr Mayfly!”, said Mayfly blew his whistle and waved his flag. The engine pulled out.

One male Earth Pony on the platform looked in a rush, and he appeared different than the others, his coat, a pale blue, and his triple toned mane and tail, of orange, grey and a creamy yellow, possessed a shine to them. His eyes, grey like the streak of his mane, looked different too with a polygon reflection, he tried his best to keep it hidden under his wide brimmed fedora hat. And he also hid his coat under his thick black overcoat. He didn’t get far as he collapsed, every-pony then gather around him.

The foal watched the train go and Firelight spoke up “Mother should be on the next train in fifteen minutes. That one came from Bridle City Port, I think.”, Autumn looked further down “Hey there’s something going on at the end of the platform.”, Stone spoke next “Yes something’s happened. Come on.” They began to walk down and heard the conversation.

“If you ask me this is a case for the Everfree Guard.”

“No, Ponyville General Hospital more like it.”

Perks rushed past the foals and budged his way into the small crowd.

The strange Earth Pony spoke something no pony of the platform could understand “Pomogite mne zdes.”

“What’s he saying?”

“Sounds like Pony Latin to me. The Reverend sometimes speaks in it.”

Stone spoke up as he pushed his way into the crowd “That’s not Pony Latin.”

“Well what is it then if it’s not Pony Latin?”

“I don’t know.”, the stranger repeated his words again and it sounded like a plea, Stone shook his head “No that’s not Pony Latin, nothing like it.”

“Trying him with Pony Latin is you know so much clever clogs.”, Stone looked down and spoke the little of the ancient Pegasus language he knew “Vos loqui Pegasus domine?”, the stranger responded with a small gasp and he tried to get up, the crowd help him to his hooves as he spoke “Amore gratias ago Amore. Denique amicus. Filioli mei quem ego placuit nesciunt.”, Stone looked to the crowd smugly “Now that’s Pony Latin.”

“What’s he saying?”

Stone looked down “I don’t know.”

Perks spoke up “Yes, well all right every-pony, keep moving along, please, I'll deal with this. Move along. Thank you.”

Firelight spoke up “Take him to the waiting room, Mother can talk Pony Latin, thought she calls it Pegasolopitan, she’s on the next train for Canterlot.”, Perks nodded “Right,” he tapped the stranger on the shoulder “come on.”

The stranger turn frightened and tried to run, but stumbled.

Firelight tried to work this out “He thinks you’re a solider of some kind, he thinks you’re going to lock him up. I know he does look at his eyes."

Helmet Listener, who happened to be on the platform spoke up “They look like a fox’s eye when the beast’s in a trap.”, Firelight walked up to the stranger and spoke in her best attempt at the almost dead language “Expectantibus te. Matrem loqui Pegasus. Nos…” she turned to Stone and Autumn “What being kind?”, Autumn walked up “Bonum is good.”, Firelight turned back “Nos sumus bonum, domine.”, the stranger softened slightly and Firelight helped him into the waiting room followed by her siblings. Perks told the remaining ponies to go how, but promise to tell them about whatever they found out later.

The foals sat him down and Firelight spoke again “Bonum. Mater veniet, bonum. Ego auxilium tibi.”

Perks spoke up “Look, I’m not sure if we ought to send for the Everfree Guard.”, the fillies looked to him and both said, “Oh don’t.”, and Autumn continued “Wait until Mummy comes, she speaks Pony Latin beautifully, you’ll love to hear her.”

And Stone added “I’m sure he hasn’t done anything you're sent to prison for.”

Perks nodded “Doesn’t look like he could. Still I don’t mind waiting until you mama comes.” He looked to the stranger “I must I’d like to know what place has the credit of him. He looks like a Crystal Pony to me, but from what Pinkie Pie and Applejack told me about them they been speaking prefect Equestrian since they reappeared.”

Stone pulled a few things out of his pocket “Look I’ve got an idea.” Using his minimal magic, he held a bunch of stamps in the air “Mrs Muffins gave me these. Stamps from other countries and Pony Settlements across the world, we’ll show him these.”

Firelight nodded and spoke to the stranger, how looked exhausted on his seat “Respice ad pictures. Quae patria?”, the stranger’s weary eyes looked over the stamps, he eyes widened at one and he pointed to it “Zherebets grad.”, Stone turned it around and he blinked “Stalliongrad!”, the fillies’ eyes widened and Perks frowned “What’s Stalliongrad?”

Firelight spoke up “It’s a city state, only recently been rediscovered by the Crystal Empire. Beyond the Griffon Lands, it was founded by Crystal Ponies who escaped King Sombra.”

The sound of a train drifted in the air and the bell sounded Perks went to the door. Firelight looked to her siblings “I’ll wait until you bring Mummy in.”

Perks called out as he left the waiting room “This is Ponyville Station.” He saw one of the doors open and Mrs Waterbury stepped out. The foals ran up to her a frantically explained about the Pony for Stalliongrad. The entered the waiting room and Firelight introduced them to each other. The Stalliongrad pony weakly got up and bowed “Mulier, nomine meo est Iron Spurgenev.”, Scribble gasped and as he coughed she took hold of him and turned to the other “Flame, go and fetch Nurse Redheart, we’ll take him home with us.”, she gave a bit to Perks and the Waterbury family quickly existed the station building. Being helped by Stone and Autumn of one side and by Mrs Waterbury on the other, Iron Spurgenev as he called himself repeated “Gratias tibi.”

Perks spoke to himself “I knew he was a Crystal Pony.”

Firelight ran to the General Hospital and luckily found Nurse Redheart at the reception, Firelight panted as she approached “Nurse, I need to tell you. Mother's got a very shabby Crystal Pony from Stalliongrad.”

“From where?”, she explained what she knew and then spoke again “He’ll have to join your club, I’m certain he hasn’t any money. We found him at the station.”

“Found him? Was he lost then?”

“Yes, he was. He’s been telling Mother life story in Pony Latin. She said would you please come directly. He’s got a nasty cough and he’s been crying.”, Nurse Redheart smirked and raised an eyebrow.”, Firelight turned said “Oh please don’t smile. You wouldn’t if you’d seen him, I’ve never seen a stallion cry before.”, Nurse Redheart chuckled “Haven’t you? Comet Tail does it all the time.”

Nurse Redheart did go to the Three Chimneys to give Spurgenev a check-up. Scribble put the Crystal Pony into her bed for the time being. She got out a trunk with the name ‘Morals Waterbury Esquire.’ On the front. She opened it and took out some clothes, but paused at the picture of her husband and the page of newspaper. She took it out and put the piece of clothing on the clotheshorse to dry and secretly tossed the paper into the fire. She took out another piece of clothing and went to speak with Nurse Redheart and Mr Spurgenev.

Firelight came in with a load of wood to be put on the fire. As she left she looked at the open trunk and picked up the picture of her father. She looked up at her mother before putting the picture down and quickly existed the room, she leaned against the wall and heard another set of hoof-steps, from behind her, her mother spoke “Flame,” she took hold of her and brought her around so they could face each other.

Tears formed in Firelight’s eyes “I know you said we weren’t to ask any questions, but Daddy isn’t, isn’t dead, is he?”, immediately Mrs Waterbury hugged her daughter “Oh my darling no. Flame look at me.”, Firelight looked up her and Scribble spoke firmly “Daddy was quite well when I heard from him last and he'll come back to us someday.”, she left to attend to the needs of Nurse Redheart and Mr Spurgenev.

Firelight considered her mother’s word with some reserve unsure by what she meant by someday, but walked further into the house.

Scribble slept with the three foals in the same bed.

Firelight looked at her “Do tell us about the Stalliongrad stallion Mummy.”

Scribble nodded “I can’t make a long story of it my darling, because I'm very tired. He's a very clever writer, named Iron Spurgenev. But in Stalliongrad one dare not say anything about the rich ponies doing wrong or what ought to be done for the poor. If one does, then one is sent to prison.

“Stalliongrad’s ruler is called the Grand Prince, like the Grand Duke of the Griffish Isles but the Grand Prince, Victorious the Second, has all the authority, and has refused to acknowledge the reappearance of the Crystal Empire and the defeat of Sombra, or the authority of Princess Cadance and Shining Armour over the Crystal Ponies. There is also a radical underground movement wishing to turn the city state into a republic run by the poor on an equal ground.

“Mr Spurgenev was in the middle, tradition and example of the other Equestrian royalty meant he thinks there should a throne in Stalliongrad, but constitutional like the Griffish Isles, as a dependency of the Crystal Empire. He also advocated helping the poor. He wrote a book all about it, and was thrown into a dungeon for three years, with not light damp and dreadful. Then they took him out and then exiled him into Bug Bear Territory, for life.”

Firelight’s eyes widened “For life! For writing a book?”, Stone his head in his mother’s lap nodded and looked up “That’s silly.”, Autumn looked to Scribble “Go on Mummy.”

“While he was in Bug Bear Territory, so friends got message to him so say that is wife and children had escaped here to Equestria, and so after many adventures he too escaped and came here to look for them.”

Firelight asked, “Do you think he will find them?”

Scribble smiled sadly “Oh, I do hope so. I think my darlings you should make a wish tonight, that pity may be shown on all prisoners and captives.”

Firelight frowned “All prisoners and captives?”

“Yes darling, all prisoners and captives.”, Firelight’s eyes narrowed at this odd request.

Over the coming days, Mr Spurgenev adjusted to living with the Waterbury family, he couldn’t speak Equestrian, but the foals did their best to be kind and speak to him in Pony Latin.

One afternoon he sat in the front garden reading a book Miss Waterbury borrowed from Princess Twilight’s library, with her special permission to do so, written in Stalliongrad, or Zherebets, as he called it, sometimes mistranslated as Sherbet.

Autumn came skipping up to him carrying flowers in her magic, she gave them to him, he took them with a smile and took her hoof and kissed it saying “Gratias tibi.” Meaning “Thank you.”, Autumn giggled and ran back to the garden wall where the other two Waterbury foals watched. Firelight smiled “He seemed pleased. I wish we could think of other things to give him.”

Autumn grinned “What about strawberries? Perks promised me some from his own garden ages ago.”, all the foals smiled and ran to Perk’s house.

They passed their usual waving spot as they needed to walk over the tunnel. However, they heard a whistle. The six coupled tender engine, with a smart green livery came speeding towards the tunnel. It wheels pounded the ground, and the heavy coaches it pulled, even from where they stood, the foals could fell the earth tremble.

After the last coach entered the tunnel the foals started walking. Then Stone pointed “Look at tree over there!”

Said tree, old leafless and thick stood on the embankment, stood however, soon didn’t apply to it since it slowly started to move down the bank, as well as a couple of smaller trees.

The foals watched with amazement.

It quickly turned to fear and dread. The old tree fell forward and tumbled down the embankment, it threw up earth and landed on the railway lines with a mighty crash. The dust settled and the foals looked at the damage. Stone broke the silence “That’ll take some sweeping up.”, the three of them went to get a closer look and descended their side of the bank.

Some more earth fell onto the line.

Stone blinked and his eyes widened “The eleven twenty-nine hasn’t passed by yet! We must let them know at the station, there'll be an accident.”, Firelight started to run then Stone called back “No wait, it’s late. It’s two miles away, will never make it in time. If only we had something red wave go down the line a wave to it.”

Autumn blurted out “Flannel petticoats!”, Stone frowned “I beg your pardon?”

“Flannel petticoats.” She lifted her dress to show the red undress, Firelight lifted her up to show just them same. They took them off and the three foals ran around the curve in the line.

When they stopped, Stone took Autumn’s and tore it. Autumn protested but Firelight agreed. They found discarded branches and put the tore red garments onto the end.

Firelight put two down in between the rails. Stone gave the order rearing up “Stand firm and wave like mad! Keep of the line Flame!”

A pillar of white smoke appeared above the embankment.

Firelight answered Stone’s request “They won’t see us from the side.” She waved her flag with her magic.

The train came around the bend. The train Lord Blue Moon took. The handsome maroon locomotive came ever closer.
The foals shouted “STOP!”

Leaning out the side the driver’s eyes widened. He jumped at the regulator and jammed it shut. He pulled the whistle for two short blasts and one long one, the Equestria National Railway’s signal for trouble. He twisted the air brakes fully on. The engine’s wheels screamed.

Autumn and Stone called to Firelight “GET BACK!”

Firelight stood her ground waving. The engine slowed, but still approached. Firelight slowed herself as the red monster came nearer and nearer. She shut her eyes. It did stop, buffer beam inches away from his, coupling hook almost touching her neck. Steam burst from the engine, as if it gave a sigh of relief.

Seeing the train still, Autumn and Stone ran to the cab as the driver climbed down. Ponies looked out the windows. From the last carriage, Mikado the guard and Lord Blue Moon, on the train home early, for family reason, climbed down themselves and ran to the front of the train.

The foal almost screamed “There’s been a landslide!” The driver, fire-pony and Mikado started running. Then they stopped.

Firelight lay on the sleeper out cold. Driver and fire-pony lifted her off the tracks and to the side. Then they started to walk down the track with Mikado “We’ll just have a look at this landslide.”

Lord Blue Moon looked at Firelight, then to the complaining passengers. He took out a whistle with his magic and blew it to get their attention. He then told the passengers about the potential danger, to remain calm and to wait.

He returned to the foals. Autumn felt Firelight’s check then leaned down to hug her tightly “Oh, Flame.” She sobbed, Stone took her hoof. Blue Moon stood stoic, but spoke up to the foal “Your sisters I believe will be quite fine,” they looked up at him and he smirked “After all, how can one do they life’s calling if their life is cut short.” He lifted her skirt and the two foals’ eyes widened. On Firelight’s flank, a purple lion, lying down, but with the head raised.

“Fillies and Gentle-colts,” Blue Moon announced. He stood behind a table with a few other well-dressed ponies and Princess Twilight. On the table rested three finely made pocket watches. The Viscount Boxer continued “I think you’ll will agree with me that we have three charming foals who are indeed an example to us all.”

The Waterbury foals stood before a crowd made up of the citizenry of Ponyville and a few from Huntersfield. They cheered at Blue Moon’s statement. The Viscount held up his hoof “I must say, I have learned in the short time I have seen them to look forward to knowing them better. If I had to rename the Waterbury children, I would call them the Three Saviours of the Steel Road or perhaps The Railway Foals.” He looked to the three foals “And now my dears, from the directors of the Equestrian National Railway, in grateful recognition of a courageous and brave action which averted an accident on the 15th Day of the 21st Month of the 1003rd Year of Celestia’s Reign.”

The Twilight stood up “And to Miss Firelight Waterbury, who took the greatest risk by standing right in the way of a charging locomotive, on behalf of Princess Celestia, and rightly deserved in my mind, I bestow,” with her magic to made a small box appear and opened it, inside a gleaming cross with trefoil clovers at the ends of the arm, hanging from a ribbon of light and dark blue, Twilight smiled at the collective wide eyes “the Clover Cross.” She then gave the box to Firelight.

Perks stepped up and whispered to the foals “It’s your turned to make a speech now. Just begin the Fillies and Gentle-colts.”, Stone gulped “Oh Luna.”

“No, Fillies and Gentle-colts.” Perks then stepped back into place.

Stone looked to his sisters and then cleared his throat “Fillies and Gentle-colts,” he paused to think of something “Fillies and Gentle-colts. We shall treasure this watches for the rest of our lives,” he blushed and gave small laugh “What I mean to say is, thank you all very much indeed.”, the crowd cheered again.

And slowly the party began to leave the station.

As the family walked through ponies stepped out of their way and nodded their thanks and congratulations. Rarity spoke up “You much be very proud Mrs Waterbury.”

Scribble smiled “Oh I am Miss Rarity.”

Perks and Time Turner stepped up, Perks cleared his throat “And this is from us.”, he gave Stone the completely repaired and polished toy engine. Stone smiled at them and nodded his thanks, the two Earth Pony stallions grinned.

After bustle of the award ceremony and declining Pinkie Pie’s offer of another celebration party the family returned to the Three Chimneys for a quite rest of the day.

Firelight and Autumn examined their watches and Firelight also looked at her medal, she sighed “It was a wonderful day, wasn’t it?”

Autumn nodded, and Firelight continued “The kind that very seldom happens to any-pony. But I did so want to talk to Viscount Boxer about something else.”

“What did you want to say to him?”

“I'll tell you, I've written him a letter.” She pulled it out from under her pillow and read it “My dearest Viscount Boxer, I want to ask you something, please. If you get out of the train and go by the next it would do. I do not want you to give me anything, Mother says we ought not to. And besides, we only want to talk to you about a prisoner and captive. Your loving friend, Flame.”

“Very good.”

“Yes, it is.” She put the letter back in the envelope.

Firelight posted the letter for the Night Mail in the hopes of Blue Moon would receive and read it in the morning.
The whistle of the handsome red locomotive echo from up the tracks.

The foals sat on one of the station benches as they heard the bell sound.

As it approached the train slowed.

Autumn gasped and out her hoof on her waist sash “My heart’s thumping like a steam engine, right under my sash too.”

Stone stood up to get a better view of the approaching engine “Ponies’ hearts aren’t under their sashes.”, he started walking toward the train and his sisters, Autumn looked to him “I don’t care mine is.”, Stone scoffed “Well, if you going to talk like a poetry book my heart’s in my mouth.”, Firelight spoke next “My heart’s in my shoes it if comes to that.” She sighed and rolled her eyes “Listen to us, he’ll think we’re idiots.”, Stone smirk and nodded “He won’t be far wrong.”

Perks called out “Ponyville.” As the last carriage drew level with him he looked at a window and nimbly went to open a door. He stepped back and nodded “Morning sir.”

Blue Moon stepped out of the coach “Good morning Perks, how are your wife and children today.”

“Oh, very fine sir.”

“Very good to here.” He turned and smiled as the Waterbury foals approached “Hello. This is a very great pleasure.”, Firelight smiled “I was good of you to get out.”

Perks closed the carriage door and stepped forward “May I extend a cordial invitation to the use of my office, sir?”, Blue Moon smiled and nodded “Thank you Perks.”

“Right away sir.” He turned back to the guard “Right away Mr Mikado!”

“Thank you, Mr Perks.” Whistle blown and green flag waved the train pulled away as Perks escorted the Viscount and the foals to the house beside the station, not Perk’s actual house, more the reactional building for the station staff, the main rooms being the station master’s office, the tea room and the bedroom upstairs for the night porter.

Perks opened to door to his office “Nice and tidy for you sir.”, Blue Moon walked in and smiled “Thank you Perks.”

“I'll leave you to it then, sir.”, he shut the door leaving the Viscount with the three foals. Blue Moon looked them “Well.” He sat down on the chair at the desk and then said “Well? What is it?”

Firelight looked unsure as she stepped forward “Well, please.”

“Yes?”

“What I mean to say is,” she paused.

Blue Moon repeated “Yes?”

“I wish I might say something.”, the Viscount smirked “I wish you would say something.”

“Well then, it’s about our Stalliongrad Pony.”

Stone sat up on the windowsill and said, “The captive.”, Firelight nodded “The captive. We want more than anything in the world to find his wife and children for him. Only we don’t know how.”

Blue Moon nodded “What did you say his name was?”, Firelight smiled and said, “I’ll write it for you.” She then looked about the office for a piece of parchment or paper, a quill, pen or pencil. She turned back to Blue Moon and cleared her throat “Would you have a pencil and the back of an envelope?”, Blue Moon smiled and using his magic pulled out and small notebook and pen from this waistcoat pocket “Here, write it here.”, Firelight gratefully took it and went to the desk, writing the name down with her magic she explained “This is how you write it, you say it, Spurgenev.” She returned the notebook to Blue Moon, who’s eyes widened “That stallion! Bless me.” He turned to the foals “I’ve read his book.” He smiled “And so your mother took him in.” He pocketed the notebook back and spoke again “I'll tell you what, youngsters, your mother must be a very good mare.”

Autumn nodded “Yes, she is.”, and Firelight added “And you’re a good stallion.”, Blue Moon nodded like a bow “You flatter me. Now,” he sat up “am I to I to tell you what I think of you?”

Firelight shook her head “Oh, please don’t.”, Blue Moon raised an eyebrow “Why?”

“I don't know why exactly, only if it's something horrid I don't want you to. And if it's something nice I'd rather you didn't.”, Firelight still needed to get over being a Clover Cross winner, from what she heard Mr Waddle in the Retirement home also won the medal, perhaps speaking to him would allow her the knowledge of how to cope with the award.

Blue Moon smiled “Then all I will say is that I'm very glad you came to me about all this, very glad indeed. And I shouldn't be surprised if I don't find out something very soon, when I’m done with the days’ board meeting I will go and have an audience with Princess Celestia, as a noble I have the right to do so.” He chuckled “Well now,” he looked around at the three foals “tell me something about yourselves.”

Autumn spoke up “Tea first.”, Blue Moon chuckled again.

About a week after, the foal said at the top of the field before the Three Chimneys lounging about in the heat of Celestia’s Sun. Stone glanced up and spotted the tip of something appearing at the bottom of the hill “Who in the wide world of Equestria?”, his sisters looked too.

The tip of a horn walked towards them.

Autumn stood up “Let’s go and see.”, they walked down the field and then stopped with a smile.

Blue Moon came walking up the hill. They greeted each other.

Blue Moon spoke “Good news my dears. I’ve found Mr Spurgenev’s wife and children. They found refuge in none other than the Crystal Empire, and I couldn’t resist the temptation of having the pleasure of telling him.” He then he paused at the smiling faces of the foals and smiled himself and looked to Firelight “No, you tell him my dear.”, Firelight walked up and hugged the Viscount and ran off up to the house. Blue Moon returned to Autumn and Stone “The other two will show me the way.”, the nodded and leisurely walked up the path.

Scribble sat with Iron Spurgenev at a small garden table. She wrote one of her stories when Firelight came running up looking excited “Mother?”, Scribble looked at and Mr Spurgenev looked with curiosity.

Firelight smiled “Mr Spurgenev’s wife and children have been found in the Crystal Empire.”

Scribble gasped with joy and took Spurgenev’s hoof and explained “Inventa tibi coniunxque et liberi in crystallo Imperium.”, Spurgenev looked shocked, he looked at Scribble, then to Firelight, a wide smile graced his face and he lowered his head and cried joyful tears.

At the station a small party waited, the Waterbury Family and Spurgenev, as well as Nurse Redheart, Blue Moon and Princess Twilight Sparkle and Captain Flash Sentry.

A low and loud whistle blew. A streamlined, spotless and sparkling locomotive steam into the station. It gradually slowed to a stop.
Flash smirked “Looks like Garter Blue worked out the breaks.”, Twilight turned to him with a raised eyebrow “Was he the one who did that horrible braking when you escorted Cadance here?”, Flash nodded “All the Crystal Ponies were still trying to piece together their lives, Sombra’s spell took it’s time to wear off.”

The carriage door opened and out came two Crystal Guard ponies. Followed by both Cadance and Shining Armour, family and friends greeted each other, including Cadance and Twilight’s little nursery rhythm and dance and then the Royals stepped out of the way.

Stepping out of the carriage came a yellow-cream coated mare, with a cutie mark of a musical notes and a masquerade style mask, a three-toned mane and tail of a rich purple, then pale purple and finally a greyish blue. Her vivid red eyes widened at Iron and she approached him and put her hoof to her face “Ty vyglyadish' uzhasno, no tak zhe krasiv, kak I vsegda.”, Iron smiled and placed his hoof to hers “Mne vse ravno, tol'ko poka tebe eto nravitsya.”

“Papa!” a quartet of fillies, coats and manes a mixture of their mother and father’s colours. Iron hugged each of them. The wife looked to the carriage, Iron looked up from rustling one of his daughter’s manes, his narrowed his eyebrows “Humble?”, Humble Spurgenev trotted to the carriage and held her hoof out. A smaller hoof took it.

Iron’s eyes widened as Humble brought out a colt, between three and four years old, looking like an exact copy of himself, she spoke softly and heard the name Inquirer mentioned. The colt stood before the stallion. Iron knelt to eye level.

The colt tilted his head and cleared his throat and said slowly and unsurely “Papa. Glad to meet you. Rad vstreche.”

Iron shed a tear and said “Mne ochen' priyatno poznakomit'sya, moy syn.” The two hugged.

Scribble wiped a tear from her eyes.

Cadance walked up to Iron and spoke in Pony Latin “Tu et domus tua et habitabis in terra imperii crystallo.”

Scribble stepped up “Forgive me Princess, but why is it your speaking in Pegasolopitan and say thou and thy?”, Cadance smirked “Auntie Celestia taught me it with the Royal Canterlot Voice, old habits die hard.” She returned to Iron “Si vis, potes scribere libros.”

Iron’s eyes widened and he smiled once more and nodded enthusiastically “Gratias ago tibi valde.”, he moved away from his family and went to Scribble and her foals and Nurse Redheart. He shook the Nurse’s hoof in thanks for taking care of him he said one of the few Equestrian words he learnt “Goodbye.” Then he hugged the Waterbury fillies.

Stone held out his hoof “Goodbye sir.”, Iron took it “Goodbye.” He looked to Mrs Waterbury and bowed “Vale.” He said.

Blue Moon stepped up and gave him a bottle of wine “Domum calefacientem enim donum est.”, Iron checked the label “A bonum anno, gratias ago tibi.”, and the Stalliongrad family returned to the Royal Train followed by Cadance and Shining Armour and their guard.

Perks called “Right away guard!”, the Crystal Pony guard nodded and blew his whistle, waved his flag, and the train pulled away.

The Waterbury family happily returned to the Three Chimneys.

Mare's Army

Summer started to go, a few more months still needed to pass before autumn arrived but, the hot dry days began to cool ever so slightly.

In the stable hall, the Major gave the command “Platoon, stand at ease.”

Cold Steel still stepped behind the rest. The Major tried again “Attention!”, still Steel fell behind.

Porter called “Try and do it with the others Steel.”

“Sorry Sergeant.”, the Major nodded to his second in command “Thank you Porter.” He returned to the Platoon “Stand at ease!”, after Cold Steel stepped out of time again he stood to attention “Permission to speak sir?”

“Yes?”

“I know what's happening, sir. You're that end of the line and your voice of command takes time to travel through the air.”

The Major looked away slight “Yes, well something like that, it must take some time to register.”

Lucky Clover spoke up “Perhaps if you were to nod you’re head sir he might catch on a little quicker. Steel nodded “Sir, if you nod your head, you'll not find me wanting.”

The Major looked up and shook his head “Oh, no, we can’t get involved in all that stuff.” He cleared his throat with a small nod “Now pay attention…”

Cold Steel stood to attention, the Major looked at him confused “What’s the matter Steel?”

“Well, you nodded sir, so I sprung to it sir.”, the Major groaned “We’re not doing that now.” He sniffed and addressed the Platoon “Now I’ve been approached by more of the mares of Ponyville…”

Steel’s hooves moved and looked at the Major “I was standing at attention of I eased myself.”

The Major rolled his eyes and spoke again “I’ve been approached by mares of Ponyville, who want to join us in our mission to defend the Everfree Kingdom. They don’t wish to fight but to help in a supportive capacity, by making the tea and the coco.”

Vigil spoke up by suddenly saying “Buttons!”, the Major frowned “I beg your pardon?”

“Button sir, remember when Rarity first came with the uniforms, and most of us had our wives and mare-friends sow the buttons on.”, of course by this point Goldings of Saddle Row supplied the platoon, and Rarity, still in the prosses of designing the ceremonial full dress.

“Ah, yes I see now, exactly. A very good point Vigil. Make a note of that Porter.” The Major nodded “Well done Vigil.”

Steel stood to attention. The Major glared “Steel!”

“Yes sir? Oh, we’re not doing to nodding, are we? Sorry sir.”, the Major leaned into the Porter and murmured “There will come a time when he’ll have to go.”

“Yes sir.” Porter said still writing the earlier note with his magic.

Caramel spoke up “Sassaflash has been wanted to help the Platoon, she’s ever so eager.”

“Really,” the Major paused trying to ignore the unfortunate memories of the awkward talk between him and her in the Café Hay, the Major cleared his throat and spoke “Well that sounds like the sort of mare we want. Just so long as she doesn’t interfere with your ability as a member of the Platoon.”

Lucky smirked “That’s right, comforts for the troops.”, Caramel glared at him. The Major agreed with Caramel’s action “Alright Clover, that’ll do. We don’t want any of that sort of talk here.”

“Sir?” Vigil spoke up “I have a Bat Pony friend who works as a Knocker-up in Huntersfield. She’s young and attractive, big, strong thighs that…”, Cold Steel added “Yeah, they're very strong when they got strong thighs.”

“Yes!” The Major interrupted “Bring them along tomorrow night, we only need a hoof-full, and with proper training they’ll release us, the front-line fighting troops to grapple with whatever enemy appears.”

Lucky spoke up “I don’t think Steel and Vigil will have much energy after grappling with those big strong thighs.”

The Major shook his head “Alright Clover, I won’t tell you again. Let’s get on with the evening.”

The following evening the Major entered his office through the side door while Porter checked a few notes, “Good evening sir.”

“How goes to the recruiting?”

“Oh, very well sir. The platoon has brought along quite a few.”

“Right, let’s bash on. Bring them in.” The Major took his seat while Porter went into the hall.

Several platoon members stood with mares, so a little old, some quite young. Porter smile “Right now.” He cleared his throat, the first two he walked up to, Cold Steel and a Unicorn mare midway into her young adulthood, and taller than the average mare. Her eyes a moderate raspberry, her mane and tail pink, both tied, her mane in a high tail. Her coat a pale, light and greyish sap green. Her cutie mark, two roses over a white lightning bolt.

Cold Steel introduced them “Sergeant Porter, this is my granddaughter, she’s recently moved into Huntersfield.” He turned to the mane “This is Porter, our Sergeant.”

Porter nodded “Would you come this way please.” And the three of them walked into the office. Porter spoke to the Major “Cold Steel’s brought his granddaughter.”

The Major nodded “How do you do?”

“I’m fine thanks.”

Porter took a chair “How rude of me, please do sit down and make yourself comfortable.”

“Thanks.” And she sat. Porker spoke again “Is there anything I can do for you? Cup of tea?”

“No thank you.”

The Major spoke up “Porter. Can I have a word outside?”

“Yes sir.”, the Major got up and nodded to the mare “Excuse us.”, the two walked outside. The Major shut and door and quietly spoke to Porter “I know you fancy yourself as a ladies’ stallion.”

“Sir!”

The Major didn’t stop “But those mares are going to be subjected to the same discipline as the rest of the Platoon, so let's start as we mean to go on.”

“At least we can be polite to them.”

“I quite agree with you. But we don’t need all this, Fancy Pants stuff. Now let’s stick to the matter in hoof, shall we?”

“Alright then, as you sir.”, they re-entered the office and the Major sat at his desk “Sorry about that miss.” He took a form and a quill “Now, your name please?”

“Juno.”

Porter spoke up “What a pretty name.”, the Major rolled his eyes.

Juno looked surprised and blushed “You think so?”

“Yes, one of the ancient Pegasolopitan goddess if I’m not mistaken.”

“Porter.” The Major said.

“Sorry sir.”

“Major Fields.” Juno said as she levitated a card “Here’s my address. I’ve put my age on the bottom.”, the Major took it and wrote down the details, he then asked “Occupation?”

“I recently opened a bakery and a flower shop.”

“I see,” the Major said and wrote down ‘Baker and Florist.'

Porter asked, “Are they one shop or separate?”

“One shop, I don’t have the bits to open two yet.”

The Major put the quill down and spoke “Miss Juno, would you like to join us?”

Juno smirked “I didn’t know you’d come apart.”, every-pony expect the Major started laughing, the Major sniffed and took up the quill “I’ll take that as an affirmative answer.” He ticked the yes box and looked up with a nod “Thank you Miss Juno.”

“Your welcome Major.”

Porter trotted to the door “Let me show you out.” He opened the door and Juno walked out. Cold Steel walked up to the desk and leaned in “Juno’s got a very dry wit, hasn’t she sir?”, the Major flinched and raised an eyebrow “Got a what?”

“Got a dry wit, you know? The way she comes out with a joke.” He chuckled “Got it from her father you know.” He saluted and walked out.

Caramel walked in with Sassaflash, the Major easily filled in her details because of her since he remembered it from the Lady Gift Divine debacle.

After they left Windy Miller entered with an Earth Pony mare, very grey, the only colour being her grey violet eyes and the three purple marble balls of her cutie mark.

Windy spoke “Major this is Marble Pie, she’s willing to be here on weekends.”

“Pie?” the Major asked “Are you related to Miss Pinkie Pie?”

Marble nodded “Mm-hmmm.”, Windy spoke up “She’s actually Pinkie’s younger twin. She also very shy.”

“I see,” the Major sniffed “so you’re a rock farmer?”

“Mm-hmmm.”

The Major wrote the details down “I can assume that your home address is your family farm?”

“Mm-hmmm.”

“And when in Ponyville you stay with your sister at Sugarcube Corner?”

She shook her head “Maud.” She squeaked.

“In the gem cave with your elder sister?”, she nodded “Well, that shouldn’t be a problem. We’ll work out what sort of a task we can find for you.”

“She might be awfully good at looking after the secret files, sir.”, the Major rolled his eyes, he resisted fuming “That’s all, thank you Miss Pie.”, she smiled and both her and Windy walked out.

Vigil walked in “A word Major?”

“Yes?”

“My friend for Huntersfield can’t be here tonight, but I have asked her, and she’s very keen to join sir.”

“Alright Vigil, bring her along tomorrow.”

“Yes sir.” She saluted and walked out as Lucky Clover and an Earth Pony mare. Her coat a pale mulberry, with a cutie mark of two link horseshoes, her mane and tail a curled affair of light and greyish sapphire blue.

Lucky spoke “This is a, friend of mine Major, Lilac Links.”, the Major nodded and wrote the name down “Have you an occupation Miss Links?”

“Yes, I’m a Farrier in the Spa.”, the Major looked up as he wrote it down “Then you must meet very fine cliental it if your preparing hooves for horseshoes.”

“Oh, yes, but I have been asked by the stallions to deal with more than their hooves.”, Lucky gulped as the Major raised an eyebrow, Major Field sniffed the spoke again “Now, where do you live Miss Links?”

“Oh, I just moved in with Lucky and Caramel, 16 Carousel Avenue. So, don’t you go getting any ideas.”, Lucky shut his eyes tightly.

The Major glanced at her with a face of internal fuming “That will be all Miss Link, thank you.”

Lucky sighed and spoke “I’ll see she comes tomorrow.” And he quickly hustled her out and whispered, “You shouldn’t have said that.”

The Major waited for the two to leave and the door to shut before talking to Porter “I don’t think that’s the kind of mare we want here.”

“No sir, but I think we should give her a chance.”

“Very well. Anymore?”

“No sir I think that’s it.”

“Right well send the Platoon home, they did have a late night with patrol last night. You can have the night off Porter, I’ll see if I can sort some of this out.”

“Thank you, sir.” And Porter walked out.

As the Major paused and put his hoof to his chin he heard a knock from the side door, he glanced to the side, probably Captain Sentry or some-pony representing him, Dauntless Doo perhaps, wanting to get and update on the evening, the Major put the quill into the inkwell “Come in.”

“Major Green Fields?” Said an unfamiliar female voice, the Major looked up.

A middle-aged Pegasus mare stood in the doorway. Her coat a pale cream, her mane made of three colours shade of grey, going from light to dark. Her eyes a pale green. Her cutie mark a white dove and some form of eastern writing.

The Major blinked for a few moments until he uttered “Yes?”, the mare smiled and shut the door “I heard you were needing mare helper for your Home Guard. Is that, right?”. The Major stood up “Yes, that is quite correct,” he almost stumbled his words “Do please take a seat.”

“Oh, thank you.” She sat down and grin softly “I been told all about this Platoon from its very beginning. I think you’ve done a wonderful job.”

“Well, we’re try to do our very best for Everfree.”

“Well, I’d love to help, just to feeling I was doing something.”

“Oh, good.” The Major frowned and raise an eyebrow ever so slightly “Your face is vaguely familiar. Are you a member of the golf club?”

She shook her head “Oh no, I haven’t been in Ponyville very long, I brought my younger cousin down from Rainbow Falls to be educated at the school here, Miss Cheerilee has a very good reputation.”

“I see. You name please?”

“Grey, Miss Grey.”

“First name?”

“Fair.”

“Fair Grey? What a pretty name.”

Fair smiled “You think so?”, the Major nodded “It’s simple and to the point, I’ve never really liked the fancier names popping up about the town, never like that when I was a colt. And you’re of the Grey family? I’ve known a few good Greys in my time as a solider. Perhaps that’s why I recall your face, a resemblance.” He paused, and shook his head “Have you an occupation?”

“University Professor.”, the Major stopped and looked up “Really? In what subject?”

“Eastern Civilisation, Marco Pommel and Meadowbrook are two of main sources, and the Tales of Mistmane of course.”

The Major grinned “That definitely sound fascinating.” He blinked and cleared his throat “And the address?”

“37 Saddle Way.”

“Oh, that’s not far from Sweet Apple Arches, so not far from here either.”

“I know I see you walk into the town every morning Major.”

“Really? That’s just my morning report to Captain Sentry.”

She nodded “And how wonderfully punctual you are, I thought you were three minutes late yesterday, but the clock was wrong.”

“Ah yes well, of course, in my position I have to set an example to the youngsters.”

“Oh, I do agree. All the old standards are declining so rapidly.”, the Major nodded “Oh, they are, they are indeed.” He glanced into her eyes and they smiled silently. Fair blinked and stood up “I mustn’t keep you.”, the Major sighed and stood up “Well, shall we say tomorrow night? We usually parade at seven o’clock.”

She smiled and nodded “I can’t wait to start. Right now, my life consists of morning tea at the Café Hay and make the garden grow.”

“I’m an amateur gardener myself.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes, something nice in the afternoon to do before parade, I do have trouble with rabbits and foxes though.”

“Oh, what a shame. It’s greenfly for me.” She looked about to move when she looked back at him “Major Fields?”

“Yes?”

Just then Porter came in “Sorry sir, it’s just…” He paused at seeing the new Mare “Oh I’m sorry.”

“It’s quite alright Porter, this is a recruit Miss Fair Grey.”, Porter turned to her and name “What a pretty name.”, the Major cleared his throat and said “Yes, I think I’ve got all the details.” He turned to her “Shall we say, tomorrow night Miss Grey.”

She nodded “I can’t wait to start. Goodbye.”, the all said goodbye and she left the way she came in.

The Major sat back down “Now there’s a charming mare.”, Porter raised an eyebrow and tried hiding a smirk and said, “Oh yes, I’m sure she is sir.”

“She exactly the sort of material we’re looking for.”

“Yes well, you’re always a pretty good judge of that sort of thing usually, aren’t you sir?” Porter brightened up “Anyway it’ll be pretty interesting to see how they all shape up won’t it?”

The Major looked up unsurely, then cleared his throat and went back to his work.

Next night, the Major entered the office through the side door and paused. A vase of flowers sat on the desk. He chuckled, this morning when I passed Miss Grey’s house he paid attention to the flowers blooming, a small number of the varies type said in the vase. He kept his eyes on the vase and sat down, only to miss his seat and fall on the floor.

Porter came in and helped the Major up. The Major cleared his throat a walked to the hall “Let’s get on with it Sergeant.”

“Yes sir.”

The two walked into the hall.

Members of the platoon stood around, in the centre stood, Cold Steel, Caramel, Windy Miller, Lucky Clover, Vigil and Doctor Time Turner. Behind them stood in the same order, Juno, Sassaflash, Marble Pie, Lilac Links and Fair Grey, and behind Vigil another female Bat Pony.

Porter called out “Platoon, attention.”, Cold Steel still stepped behind.

The Major ignored this and looked to the mare “Welcome ladies.”

“Good evening Major Fields.” The all said, apart from Marble who nodded with an “Mm-hmmm.”

The Major stood at ease “I thought tonight I would just teach you the simple rudiments of hoof drill, so we can all turn out a disciplined body of stallions and mares.” He turned to the side slightly “Now first, the at ease position.” He stood at ease “To stand at ease properly you have the hooves of the hind leg comfortable apart by about eighteen inches.”

The mares spared their hind legs apart, something about right, but the new Bat Pony at first stood way apart, almost doing the splits, until Vigil glanced back to correct her. The platoon members in front of them stood at ease.

The Major continued “Foreleg always remain together.”

Narrowing her eyes the new Bat Pony mumbled “A lot of red tape nonsense.”

Caramel glanced back at her “No talking in the ranks.”, the Bat Pony kicked him.

The Major looked at this “Caramel, no talking in the ranks,” he then glanced at the Bat Pony “and no violence on parade unless ordered Miss?”

“Dawn Ironsides.”

The Major frowned “Miss Ironsides, in the future you will address me as either Major or sir, is that understood?”, Dawn remained silent. The Major glared “Miss Ironsides?”

She fumed and said with some annoyance “Yes sir.”

The Major nodded “That’ll do.” He re-addressed the entire group “Now to stand at attention from this position you place your weight on the right hind hoof, raise the left, and make sure the stifle, hock, and fetlock are at, or as close to right angles as possible. Now let’s try that, shall we?” He turned to Porter “Give the orders Sergeant.”

“Right sir. Platoon, platoon, attention.”

The mare all stood to attention at different times, however still faster than Cold Steel. Marble looked a little unsure of herself.

The Major sniffed and shook his head “Oh no, that was sloppy, very sloppy.” He looked to one mare specifically “Not you Miss Grey, that was very good.”

“Thank you Major.”

The Major cleared his throat again “Now I want you to stand upright, abdomen in chest out.”

Lucky glanced back at Lilac “You’re okay in that department love.”, Lilac giggled “Cheeky.”

“Clover.” The Major said with a glare, he then addressed the group “Stand at ease.”, the group again moved their hooves at different times, better but still not in sync, but again with Cold Steel the Platoon would never entirely be in sync.

The Major continued “Attention!”, they stepped improved slightly.

Vigil spoke up “Major Field? May I point out Miss Ironsides here is doing it very, very well, here legs are coming together with a frim and strong action, just you listen.”

The Major sighed “Her hind leg are too far apart when she stands at ease.” He leaned into Porter and whispered, “Have you noticed if Miss Ironsides has big thighs?”

“I’d say they were more on the long side sir.”, the Major glanced back and nodded “Yes.” He returned to the group “Alright, every-pony stand to attention.”, he waited as they did so, “We come now to the left and right turn. From the right turn you first light the right foreleg, and turn it as close to ninty degree to the right as possible, then you put it down and you lift and move both legs on the left to match the right, once they’re in place you lift and move the right hind leg into place with the others. And for the left you mirror the action.” He demonstrated and the Mares followed.

Lilac shook her head “Sweet Celestia all this to defend a country.”

From where he sat Waddle spoke up “The Major knows best, he’s had decades of experience, you ought to listen to what he’s saying.”

The Major nodded “Thank you Padre. Right now, every-pony face the front.”, they turned into line, “Attention!”, most stepped in time, Lilac a little late, and now Juno seemed to be in time with Cold Steel.

The Major nodded “Very good Miss Grey, Miss Pie.”, the two smiled, the Major called to the order “Left turn!”, most turned to the left apart from, Juno and Dawn who turned to the right, the others quickly corrected them. The Major spoke “Now, when you mess up and go the opposite way to that ordered, you actually stay wrong until the one in command calls “Default is default.” It’s better to make the mistake then further muck up the synchronicity but correcting yourself midway.”

“Permission to speak sir?” Cold Steel asked.

“Yes?”

“We had similar trouble when I started in the Second Regiment of Hoof, because all the soldiers they got in it were rough country yokels. Most of them didn't know their flanks,” he coughed “from their elbows. They got a very ingenious idea. They tied a bit of straw to one foreleg, sir, and a bit of hay to the other foreleg. When the commanding officer wanted to turn left, he shouted, “Hay turn!” Or alternatively, “Straw turn.” Depending on whether the straw was on the left hoof or the hay was on the other hoof, but they had to get themselves organised, so all the men had either the straw on the left hoof or,” he looked back at the Major “Is that any use to you, sir?”

The Major looked down and tapped his hoof on his chin “I don’t think so Steel, I think it’s best if the ladies just practice turning to the left and the right as demonstrate. Let’s carry on.” It would be a long evening.

Late next morning, very close to lunchtime, the Major went to the Café Hay and as usual took his place at his usual table. He pulled out the morning’s copy of the Liverypool Street Herald.

He heard other hoof steps and a familiar voice spoke “Oh good morning Major.”, he looked up and Fair Grey approached. He put his paper down and got up from his chair “Good morning, what a surprise, would you care join me?”

She smiled “Why thank you.”, she sat down “I haven’t seen you here before.”

“Oh, I always come here after reporting to Captain Sentry, it’s just the meeting went on longer than it usually does, I must miss you on most days.”

Savoir Fare, the waiter of the Café Hay walked up “Good morning Major, your usual?”

“Yes, please Savoir.” He jotted the order down then turned to Miss Grey “And you’re usually Miss Grey.”, she nodded, and Savoir wrote it down and walked back inside.

The Major chuckled “I remember when Café first opened, my first return here after a tour of duty in the Griffon Lands, you know they used to serve Trottingham scones.”

“With jam and clotted cream?”

“Oh yes, and you could select the jam, from strawberry, raspberry, even Zap Apple, pear jam too until Mr Grand Pear left for Van Hoover. Me and a friend of mine borrowed a few bits and took a spin out here just for the scones. I got the rough end of my officer’s tongue when I got back. He thought I’d toddled off with a bit of fluff.”

Fair chuckled “It was all harmless fun in those days.”

“Yes, of course it was. Mind you we used to set the pace now and again.” He chuckled. Fair smiled and held her head on her hoof “You know you whole face lights up when you laugh.”, the Major frowned, but she shook her head “Oh don’t take it like an insult Major, I think you’re a very jolly pony at heart.”

The Major grinned “Oh, really? I never really thought myself as such, a solider never got much time for joking and jesting.”

Savoir arrived with the teas “Separate bills?”, Fair nodded, but the Major held up his hoof “Please, have this with me.”

Another voice spoke “Good morning Major Fields.”, the Major looked up and blinked “Padre? You don’t usually come here today.”

“Oh,” Waddle said, “I’m just on my way to the hospital, if you excuse me.” And he waddled away. The Major glanced back as he walked away “Charming pony that, one of the most loyal members of the Platoon.”

Fair nodded “I think their all wonderful.”

As the Major took a sip of his tea and asked, “You said you come from Rainbow Falls?”

“Yes, it was hopeless there for my little cousin to get a good education, so far north and out of the way, the only time we’d get any excitement was with the Annual Trading Fair, and the schools there are mainly for Pegasi, which was why it was chosen for the Equestrian Games try-outs, my cousin, Shizuka, which means Calm in the language of the East, is an Earth Pony.”

“I see.” He put his cup down and cleared his throat “I must confess that I came in here deliberately on the off chance of seeing you.”, she grinned “You know, I rather hoped you would.”

Some-pony cleared their throat catching their attention and the Major turned to see Chrome Blade standing behind him “Sorry Major, but Princess Twilight wishes to see you about something you reported on immediately.”, the Major sighed and nodded, he finished his cup, took out his wallet and put a few bits down and got up “I’m afraid I have to dash away. Perhaps we can meet again very soon.”

She nodded “Oh I’d like that.”

“Anyway, I shall see you on parade tonight.”

“Oh yes, of course, I’ll look forward to it.”, he nodded and left the Café.

Sitting in a corner of the Stable Hall with a group including, Caramel and Sassaflash, Cold Steel and Juno, Lucky Clover and Lilac Links, surrounding her Vigil shook her head “All I'm saying is Fields is making a perfect fool of himself. It's the only way of putting it.”

Lilac nodded “They came twice last week to the spa, Aloe and Lotus said they never saw the Major set hoof in the spa before. Then yesterday they came again and the Major got a massage from Bulk Biceps,” some of the stallion grimaced.

Caramel spoke up “They have tea every morning.”

Vigil nodded “I tell you, he’ll ruin himself. Some-pony ought to tell ought to tell him."

Porter passed by and he heard them speak. He frowned and headed to the office. He knocked and entered.

The Major read a book and looked up and softly said “Hello Porter, must be nearly time for parade.”

“Yes,” he used his magic to pull out and check his pocket watch “A few minutes’ time sir.”

“Good,” the Major put the book down “I’ve got a rather important announcement to make for the ladies’ section.”

“Ah yes, I’ve been meaning to, have a word with you about that sir.”

“Oh yes?”

“Yes, I know it’s not really my business sir, but as your Steward, and your oldest friend,”, the Major nodded to allow Porter to continue, “unless I say something, who will?”

“Look here Porter. If you’ve got something to say stop shuffling about from one hoof to another and cough it out. Are you in some sort of trouble?”

“What? No sir, not all, Celestia forbid sir.” He scratched the side of his head “It’s just with the ladies’ section, do you think it’s just possible that some of us might possibly be making tiny little fools of ourselves?”

The Major remained silent for a moment, then “Ah, I see. Well thank you for your frankness Porter.”

“You’re welcome sir.”

“Can’t have been easy for you to, speak to me on so delicate a matter.”

“No sir, I thought I’d better do it for the best.”

“I’m not insensitive to what ponies are saying Porter.”

“Oh, no sir, of course not.”

“I know, they think I am mixing pleasure with work. I am therefore going to disband the ladies section. Except for a few special helpers.”, Porter smirked “Oh, I see sir, yes.”

He stood up “That should settle the matter.”

“On a private note sir, not to do with the platoon. I do approve of you finding companionship at your time of life, it gives me hope at the very least. And Miss Grey is indeed a good partner for you.”, the Major smiled “Thank you Porter.” They then left the office and went onto parade.

He looked to Cold Steel how stood closest to him “Ever-pony here Steel?”

Steel stood to attention “All present and correct sir. Except Miss Grey.”

The Major frowned “Miss Grey not here? How strange, perhaps she’s feeling a bit under the weather.”

Vigil muttered “Favouritism.”

Marble meanwhile whispered into the ear of Windy Miller, said Miller spoke up “Miss Pie says she thinks Miss Grey is alright. She saw her going to the station with two large suitcases.”

His frown deepening the Major asked “To the station?”

Marble nodded “Mm-hmmm.” And then very softly “About ten minutes ago, she looked to be in a hurry.”

Lucky spoke up “There’s only one train at time of evening. The 8:40 to Baltimare.”

“Baltimare?” The Major turned to Porter, the Sergeant equally confused, his expression more stunned, “Take the parade Porter.”, Porter flinched and called as the Major left “Would you like me to make the announcement?”, but the Major didn’t reply.

Miss Grey sat on the station bent, she tapped her hoof and looked down the track. She heard hoof steps and she looked up. The Major sat down beside her and looked to her concerned “What’s happened?”

“It was all a bit rushed Green but, about a month ago, before coming to Ponyville I applied for Professor of Eastern Studies at the University of Baltimare. I got the letter this afternoon, they want me to take up the post immediately.”

“How long will you be there?”

“I don’t know, depends on how good they think I am, a year at least, at most, who know?”

“You never mentioned you applied? What about you’re cousin?”

“I didn’t think I be accepted and needed so soon. As for Shizuka, a mare in the town has offered to foster her. Anyway, I think it might be for the best.”

“But, I, don’t want you, to go. The whole pattern of my life has changed, before I was just going from one meeting to the next.”

“I know, and I’m just the same, but it’s the only thing to do, ponies are talking.”

“Ponies always talk, who cares about them?”

“But your meant to defend them, you have to care for them. You can’t afford scandal and tittle-tattle.”

“What’s there to be scandalous about? I’m an old stallion, and forgive me for saying this but you’re of many years too.”

“It’s alright Green, I admit I’m beyond my prime too. But you have a reputation.”

He blurted out “I’ll rebuild it.” Then he took a deep breath and sighed “I’m sorry.” He rubbed his hoof over his face. “Look, don’t get that train.”

“Green, I must.”

“I implore you, don’t get on that train.” He shook his head “We can meet once a week.”

“Green, you’re making this very difficult for me, but I’ve made up. My life calling is the study of Eastern culture, can you deny me what I love doing? What if some-pony denied you your authority?”

The Major looked ready to speak when the Night Porter called “All those going to Baltimare!” and a train pulled in.

Grey sighed and stood up “This is my train.”, the Major took her hoof “Look Fair, I’ve never begged any-pony in my life before, but I’m begging you not to go.”, she shook her head “I’m sorry Green.” She reached for her suitcase, but the Major took “I’ll take the heaviest.”, she smiled sadly and took the other. As they approached a carriage the Major asked “Can’t we talk about this? Go tomorrow.”

She bit her lip and opened a door and stepped around. The Major help with her bags, she turned to him as he put the case on the luggage rack “Hurry up or you’ll be coming to Baltimare too.”, the Major stepped out and helped her close the door “Can you at least promise to write?”

“Once I’m settle in yes. I’ve give you my address then.”, the Night Porter walked up “Stand clear sir. Mind the door.” He shut the door firmly and continued down the train.

The Major called “Promise you’ll write?”, she smiled with a tear and nodded “I promise.”

The Night Porter called “Right away Mr Stop!”, the guard blew his whistle, and the train pulled away. Fair waved from the door “Goodbye Green.”, the Major saluted “Goodbye Fair.”

The train disappeared into the night, and the Major stayed on the platform for a long time.

Robot Rumpus

In one of the offices of the Ponyville General Hospital Cipher yawned as his slowly trudged towards the door “Thanks Doctor, Nurse. I’d better be on my way now with the post. Seems to be more and more every day.” He yawned again.

Nurse Redheart and Doctor Horse walked up. The Unicorn stallion narrowed his eyes and spoke “Now don’t got over doing it Cipher, we won’t be able to tell how to help you out if something truly nasty comes along.”, Cipher being a Changeling, and thus having an almost completely different biology to Ponies proved quite the challenged to two of the best medical experts in Ponyville. Every-pony sighed with relief at their luck since Cipher merely suffered stress induced sleep deprivation, brought on by worry.

Fluttershy recently told Cipher she’d managed to arrange so her parents and her little brother could visit and meet him. And Cipher started worrying about what they would think out it, causing him to worry well into the night.

The doctor continued “Just take it steady. You’ll been fin it you just relaxed a bit more.” He wrote on a piece of paper “Now, this should help, a few vitamins and a tonic to liven you up.”

“I hope it does work.” He took the slip of paper with his magic, and yawned again “Thanks again. Goodbye.” And he left. Nurse Redheart waved “Bye Cipher.”

What with being so tired and seeing the doctor, Cipher became very late. And Muffins started to worry, she peaked out of the Post Office door and looked up and down the High Street ‘Oh dear, there’s no sign of him.’, she went back in and checked the clock ‘Just look at the time. Where has Cipher gotten to?’ and she went back to the counter.

As she flew up and over, and then started reorganising the letters. She heard the door open and sleepy voice say “Morning.” Then a yawn and “Good morning Muffins.”, Cipher trudged up and mumbled “Oh dear, I’m so sleepy.” He almost collapsed onto the counter “Sorry I’m late. I went for a check-up, end up getting my body examined by Doctor Horse and Nurse Redheart, almost ended up dissected. I just feel so,” he shut his eyes and nodded off, then jerked away “so sleepy.” He yawned again.

Muffins started worrying all over again “Oh Cipher, I’m sorry to see you like this. What with all the post to be delivered. I would do it for you, but Head Office has banned me from delivering. And as much as I’m okay with Parcel in his new job it’s times like this I wish he still wanted to be a Post-stallion. And we can’t get any pony else down to help, not even for only a day or two. No-ponies able to take your place.”
Cipher rested on his hoof and snored softly.

“Cipher?” Muffins called getting a load of letters and parcels ready “Wake up Cipher.” She put the post by his other hoof and said slightly louder “You’d better be going.”

Cipher jerked wake “What?” He looked about and then yawned again “Oh, yes. I’d better be on my way.” He gathered the post up magically and nodded at her “Bye.” He walked out the door and toward the cart. He put the post in the back and walked around to the front, he paused at Riolu ‘It must be nice to be an animal.’ He thought ‘Cats get to snooze all day in a warm comfy basket.’ He climbed up and charged the spark plugs, the cart rolled down the High Street, slowly since everything about Cipher seemed slow today, even his magic.

The quietness of Ponyville gave the town a sleepy appearance too.

Cipher made it to his first stop. Doctor Time Turner’s workshop. From the sounds inside Cipher could tell the inventing Earth Pony did have sleeping problems. Something clicked, whirred and beeped. Cipher climbed down took the needed post and walk up with a call of “Hello. Time.”

Inside the inventor stood amid a pile of boxes and machines. Well more boxes and machine than usual in his workshop.

The biggest machine looked like a mismatch moving art sculpture. Built in three parts.

Time Turner stood with some type of helmet and a load of playing card “Ah, morning Cipher,” he walked over the first section of the machine and part the pack of card into a slot “I’m sorry but I can’t stop.”

Cipher inched further in “What are you doing with all these boxes?” He could understand Time Turner and machines, but the boxes made a bigger mess than usual.

“Well,” Time said, “come and have a look at this, my latest invention, the Forget-Me-Not Thinking Machine, with FRED.”

Cipher came up and looked it over “Seem a bit of a mess.”

“Now, yes, but when you see it working it’ll all make sense. You see, Lyra told me Humans have this thing call a computer, a thinking machine, with a built-in memory, so I thought to build one of my own, I need building material to give it memory.”, he went over to a table full of different object “Natural when you work in the field of science you don’t want to drop a brick. So,” he pulled out a locked-off vice with a broken brick inside “I clamped the brick firmly.” He went to the second section and put the brick into place. “That’s the solid state installed.” Then went back to the first.

Cipher scratched his head, he turned around and found a pile of papers. He opened one “This looks complicated, what does it do?”

“Oh, that? That’s an incomplete drawing for an invention, I’ve been test running and improving the computer to make more accurate drawings so there’s no errors in the designs. It does it at the rate of knots, not like me a pencil. It can even go while I’m asleep.”

Cipher put the drawing away “Sound alright to me. Do you think it can deliver letters while I’m asleep?”

“Not the computer, but I can have it design just the thing for you need. I’ve always wanted to build a robot.”

“A what?”

“A robot, the name comes from the Stalliongrad word for drudgery and labour.”

“A robot Post-stallion? Sounds interesting.”

“It be possible,” he went to the first section and sorted the playing cards, if I sort out the cards correctly then the computer can design it. It would take a day or two.”

“What are the cards for?”

“Let me show you. I’ll have the computer design one of my ideas.” He took out a notebook and looked at a long code of numbers and shapes he took out the required cards and put them in a slot. He pulled a lever and the machine started up, the card fell into area with tapping birds, like those drinking bird toys. At the bottom a camera and a setup looking like some form of eye with swivelled about thinks to system of pullies and strings. The bird stopped some of the cards while some passed the eye.

Time Turner explained “The cards are scrutinised by single rooving eye, using the watch the birdy principle.”

The next section started up. “This in the memory core,” a small pony figure on scooter with a copy of the code sped along the section and along an area with opening and shutting doors, “That’s memory lane. With its open door to store the messages which arrive, and I was economic, instead of a billion cycles, we have one Billy Cycle.”

Cipher glanced to Time “Wasn’t he one of the earliest Post-stallions?”

“That’s right.”

After Billy delivered the message a cup lowered into the bowl of water and took some out. “That’s the mass memory, I thought something watery would be a sufficient mass. Also, it has a drain, called the brain drain, which facilitated the flushing of any wrong numbers and unworthy thoughts.” As the water spilled out a bunch of cogs turned, and a bunch of mannequin heads off different sizes started spinning, areas of heads drawn around with numbers, like those odd busts seen in medical museums “And here these tiny minds revolve around bigger ones and produce thoughts.”

Then at the top of the memory core something which resembled the head of an elephant started moving, and out of the trunk came an object resembling a currant bun. Time Turner shook his head “I think I’ll have to use something smaller, like a mouse.”

The third and final section started. The current bun fell onto a plate, this go brought up to a month like opening and then all many of wheels and pulls turned, “That was the information feeding to start up FRED, the Fantastical Rapid Evaluator and Dispenser.”, the FRED appeared to be a head on some kind reading a clipboard. An arm sprang out with a pen in its hand and started to draw out on the clipboard.

Time Turner looked to Cipher “I wonder if I could create a machine which combines magic and technology.”

“If thought you said science can explain what magic can’t?”

“Oh, I still do, it can explain and do thing never thought possible. However, I recently came up with theory that could actual link science and magic together. After speaking with Princess Twilight and Miss Glimmer I realise the magic is a more in exact science, so to speak.” He went over to a chalkboard and took a chalk “You see, science and technology,” he wrote them down “and magic” he wrote that separately “are to method of manipulating the universe, science and technology do it via external means, creating machines to do the manipulating, like say a windmill’s ability to turn the power of the wind into kinetic energy to grind wheat into flour.”

Cipher nodded.

“Magic is manipulating the universe via pure knowledge and willpower, mind over matter if you will. However, technology can do more than one pony, going back to the windmill.” He returned to the chalkboard, “To do something magically take about the same effort as to do it physically, of course the exception being Princess Twilight and Miss Glimmer, they specialise in magic and thus break those boundaries. But getting back to my point,” he drew an Earth Pony with an ancient hand turned stone mill wheel, and then a Unicorn with a pile of wheat “it would take the average Unicorn and the average pony the same about of energy to turn wheat into flour, the only difference being time.” He then rolled his eyes “And hardly any Unicorns would want to turn wheat into floor.”

He then drew a windmill “But with a windmill your able to create more flour in roughly the same time.”

“Until the wind dies.” Cipher said “Which is Windy’s mill has a waterwheel too. But what about this combination? True is works for the cart and the Mail Couch but their simple things. The spark plugs start and alchemical fire spell and powers the internal combustion engine. But something as complicated as “Thinking Machine”? How do even get the magic? Battery Crystal have been banned since the Great Fire of Bridle City Port.”, Bluenose, the naval officer who started it must know the trouble he caused when they named his fire, and called the “Great Fire” no less.

“Oh,” Time Turner “send that’s another great invention of mine, it works like a crystal radio, something I learnt about from my correspondence course. It gathers magical energy waves and feeds it into the machine.”

Cipher’s eyes widened “So this is wild magic?”

“Wild magic?”

“Princess Twilight told me about them. The residual magic energy particle left after a spell is cast, the different aura mix and mingle and fight to occupy the same space, it’s,” he looked for a term Time Turner would understand “Magical Quantum Mechanics.”

Time Turner’s eyes widened, as Gracious Bell’s Inequalities demonstrated, against Surround Stone’s Hidden Variables Theory, proved Quantum Mechanics is completely random, not even Discord could come up with the surrealism of Quantum Mechanics.

The Thinking Machine then started accelerating rapidly and the drawing became incoherent.

“Great Whickering Stallions!” Time Turner dashes to the controls “Don’t worry, I’ll just, now, which switch do you flick the stop it? I can’t remember.”

Cipher inched to the door “I think I’d better get out of the way. I’ll pop back when you’ve got it sorted out.”

As he left he heard a loud trumpeting noise, like an elephant call.

The Post Office is also the home of the Doo-Hooves family, they live above the shop.

Muffins walked through the living room with the day’s letters and parcels ready to be sorted for Cipher, she hoped he would be in better spirits this morning. She did here Princess Twilight talking about a possible optional day off on Sundays, that could help Cipher, and it would give her time off to spend the day with Dauntless and the kids, they only got time in the evenings.

As she walked to the counter a strange noise sounded. She looked up and gasped.

A suit of armour reared up at her with claws at the end on its front hooves. She screamed and grabbed a nearby broom “Get away! I’m warning you!”

From behind the armour Time Turner’s head appeared “It’s alright Muffins. Sorry it gave you a fright,” he took hold of an oil can as he spoke “you see this is the new Robot Post-stallion out for its test run.” He gave it some oil. “It’s to give Cipher a bit of rest. Why don’t we try it with some of the post?”

“Well,” Muffins said looking from letter to parcels “I don’t know about that. I mean trusting the mail to one of your contraption’s Doc?”

“Oh, I know some of my inventions can be hit or miss. But there’s no need to worry here. It’s all worked out by computer.”, Muffins tilted her head “Com-what?”

“I’ll explain later, but this fine fellow here can’t go wrong. Look I’ll show you.” He switched the robot on, the lights within the helmet came on and flash, the sound of cogs and pulleys turning started and the robot beeped into life.

Time Turner smiled “So us what you can do Mr Robot.”, the claws twirled and the helmet looked about. It started moving backwards, thanks to the wheels in its hind legs. It crashed into the wall behind it. Then trundled forward, and stopped at a basket filled with muffins sitting beside the counter. It tried to grab it but missed twice. It gave up. Turned around. Move forward. Crashed into the wall. Fell into its back and stopped working.

Muffins looked over from the counter “You know I had a feeling that might happen.”

Time Turner heaved the robot upright and looked at the control panel on the back “Just needs a small adjustment.” He flicked a few switches and turned a few nobs “Should this be up or down? Perhaps if I reserve the polarity of the neutron flow.”

Muffins smiled, looked up and shook her head “I’ll leave you to your contraption Doc. You don’t mind, do you? There is work to be done.”

The robot start up again, looked at the post and beeped loudly. It lurched forward and Time Turner back up “Look out, it’s off.”

The robot’s claw grabbed the letter and Muffin’s shouted “Hey it’s stolen the post.”, Time Turner tried to grab the letters. The robot suddenly turned and knocked the doctor to the ground. It found the door a struggled. Its arm knocked on the door and it pirouetted out losing some of the letters. Muffins cried “Stop it Doc!”

Time Turner brushed himself down and trotted out “Oh dear, I don’t know how that happened.” He exited and saw the robot speed down the High Street. He looked back “Don’t worry Muffins I’m after it. Bye.”

Out in the streets of the village Cipher and Riolu finished delivering the first lot of post around the main area of the village, but as they walked back to the Post Office to collect the letters and parcel for the outer areas of Ponyville, they found a trail of letters, with address to where they would be going, Kimblewick Hall, Sweet Apple Arches.

Just then Time Turner trotted up looking frantic and puffed out “Have you seen a robot about? It’s gone off with the rest of the post.”

“Really?” Cipher glanced down at Riolu, the Jakhowl shook his head. Twilight told him about this supposed Aura which the Jakhowls could manipulate, but with something like a robot, something which didn’t live, it could give off any aura for Riolu to track. Cipher looked down “Maybe if we follow the letters.” They did so, Riolu picked them up after they passed them.

Time Turner shook his head “Muffins is not happy about this.”, Cipher scoffed “I bet see isn’t.”, they heard wheels and a voice “Good heavens.”, they went to the corner and peered around.

The Reverend Farthing, looked bemused as the robot lowered its arm to his hooves and gave him a few of the letter. It moved off as the vicar looked at the address “None of these are for me?” He distanced himself from the robot and almost bumped into Cipher and Time Turner “Oh hello fellow, this tin monster just thrusted this letters into my hoof, and none of them are addressed to me.”

Cipher took the letters.

Time Turner nodded “Did you see which way it went?”

Then a few more voices shouted out “Get off me you beast!” and “Take that you overgrown tin can.”

From a side street Rarity ran out, followed by the robot and an angry Rainbow Dash. Rainbow took a dive, but the robot lurched and swatted her into a wall. The robot shook from the blow but carried on, only one letter left in its claw. It looked about and moved back and forth, as if confused.

Time Turner tip-hoofed up behind it. He reached for the controls. The robot turned to him. Gave him the letter and sped up. Time Turner flinched and shook himself at the speed “Great Whickering Stallions!” He then looked at the letter “This isn’t even for me!” He shouted at it “Come back you fool!” Then he blinked and shook himself again “Great Whickering Stallions, I never programmed it to come back!”
The robot went towards and house, and smashed through the garden gate and into a house.

“Hey up North!” the voice of Helmet Listener shouted, “What is it?”

“I don’t know.” North replied “But hope it doesn’t bite.”, Fortune screamed and First shouted “Get out of here!”, the sound of hoof kicking sounded and the robot clattered out of the back door. It looked about and headed down the back street.

Riolu gave Cipher the letters and the Changeling put them into his bag, he sided “We’ll never catch it at the rate it’s going. We need transport,” he looked about and smiled “Come on, the Mail Coach garage is just down here.” The two ponies trotted and the Jakhowl ran, down the side street. The three of them climbed up. They would need to put the robot in the passenger compartment when they caught it.
Cipher started the coach up and slammed the reins down, the cart roared into life and sped out of the village.

They passed Rarity ‘I hope they don’t take that tin machine with them in the coach. They’ll be rust and lost screw everywhere, most uncomfortable.’

Cipher kept his eyes on the road and called “Can you see it you two?”, Riolu nudged Cipher and pointed, “Oh dear.”

Filthy Rich jumped down from his mobile shop, which current rested stuck in a muddy field. Cipher slowed to a stop and looked down “What happened to you Rich?”

“I’m glad to see you. Frightening it was. This manic with burning eyes came charging down the road. I couldn’t help it, I had to swerve to dodge it and drove into the field.”

Time Turner leaned down “Which way did it go?”

“Look liked it was headed for the North-Eastern Windmill. Do you think I should get the Guard?”

Time Turner scoffed “I don’t think Captain Sentry would believe you.”

Cipher flicked the reins and the Mail Coach with all speed to the Windmill. Filthy Rich watched them go then turned back to his mobile shop.
Cipher turned back to Time Turner “Let’s take a shortcut across the field. We might be able to cut it off before it gets there.” They turned into the field and went across bumpy stone filled ground. The couch shuddered and Time Turner and Riolu held on for dear life.

They drove into the Miller’s yard via the back gate and stopped. The three climbed down and looked about, Time Turner spoke “Quick Cipher, before it does any damage.”

From one of the small barns a couple of chicken rushed out scared. Followed by the robot covered in hay. It looked about, claws spun and arms flailed as it threw the hay off. It turned and moved. Bumped into the barn wall and turned again before trundling off again.

Outside the house area of the mill, Dotty hung her washing out. She heard the strange sounds and noise of the chickens. She turned and gasped. The robot past her and snapped the washing line. Some of the cloths on the line fell onto the robot.

Ponies only wear cloths either for personal taste or for special occasions.

Time Turner, Cipher and Riolu came rushing up, the Doc spoke with guilt “Sorry about the washing Dotty.”

Cipher raised an eyebrow “Is that a shirt it’s wearing?”, Dotty nodded “I sometimes do the washing for the Waterbury family when Starry Eyes is away on duty with the Wonderbolts.”

Cipher blinked “So that’s Stone’s shirt?”, she nodded again “Yes, but it did look old, faded and tearing, Mrs Waterbury said I could have it. That thing’s got one of my aprons as well.”

The robot with the shirt and apron cover it bumped and crashed through the farmyard.

Windy walked up to the gate of his vegetable garden when he heard the commotion. His eyed widened as he saw it come towards him and jumped out of the way. The robot burst through the gate and went into the muddy ground.

The other trotted up, and watched. The robot’s wheel sank into the ground and it slowed. Windy blinked “Is that a shirt it’s wearing?”, Dotty sighed “I’ll tell you later.”

Final it stopped. The robot still lurched and waved about.

Time Turner sighed “Right, I’d better go and fetch it.”, Cipher tapped him on the shoulder “Well it was a nice try Time, thanks.”

Windy held out a hoof “No wait, leave it. It makes a great scarecrow. I had so much trouble with the bird and the rabbits, and it scared them off.”

Cipher looked at it and chuckled. Before he wondered how practical a scarecrow could be when it did look at all fearsome, like with its hooves up ready for a round of boxing, no it’s head is slumped so he looks like he’s asleep and strung up on a cross. But with the robot jerking about and looking alive he could understand.

And the robot seemed perfectly fine where it stood. Cipher chuckled “Maybe it’s found its life’s calling. We should check if it’s got a cutie mark.” They laughed and left the robot to its new duty.

Every so often Time Turner would come down and give the robot a charge and an oiling. Of course, he needed to be careful. It knocked him down before, and it managed to bruise Rainbow Dash. But on the plus side, no animal, bird or mammal ever went near the Knight of the Field, as the robot became known ever again.

The Best Night Ever 3.0

The third Grand Galloping Gala, Twilight and friends visited. Again, Twilight organised it, but this time she made sure Discord behaved himself.

This time the guest list included the Star Ponies of Bridle City Port, and Major Fields, he choice Porter as his plus one.

Speaking of choices for plus one guests, Rarity decide not to bring one, as Sweetie Belle said even without the Smooze, the monstrous guest Discord brought last year, she found the Gala, outside of being with her friends and family, boring, so declined the offer.

Pinkie brought Marble with her.

Fluttershy decided to take Tree Hugger again as her plus one since she knew Cipher didn’t like big gettogethers with strangers, except for the Ponyville Day Fete and the Everfree Fair since he knew most of the ponies there.

However, when King Thorax heard of this he decided to choose Cipher as his plus one, and Cipher, being loyal to his king followed.

For Twilight, organising the Gala and sorting out the arrangements for government within the Everfree Kingdom had been a bit of a tole, but with Spike, Flash and Starlight on hoof, and on her guard, and lover’s advice she began to delegate her work, something she also suggested to Shining Armour, since as a father he and Cadance would need to raise Flurry Heart as well, thankfully with the help of Sunburst on hoof to help with the little Princess things ran smoothly as well in the Crystal Empire.

Twilight stood with Princess Celestia at the top of the stairs greeting the attendants, another pony walked away and Twilight saw the small line “Is it me or has attendance to the Gala gone down?”

Celestia chuckled “Well, after the last two Galas most of the noble decided to steer clear this year, which I don’t really mind. I wonder what oddities will happen this year?”

“Personally, I hope things go a little smoother, although with the Star Ponies here I can’t help but dread what Warrior will do.”, she caught Flash trotting over to the entrance with a confused expression, she glanced to the Princess of the Sun “Is it alright if I go check what’s occupying Captain Sentry?”, Celestia nodded and Twilight galloped down the stairs, she caught up with him “What’s up Flash?”

Flash wore his new ceremonial uniform representing his status as an Everfree Guard Pony, in this case a purplish-blue, mixing not only the colours of the Castle of Friendship, but also the Tree of Harmony, a priority for the Everfree Guard. The jewelled button encased in brass. The golden thread lanyards, he looked the model of a Guard Captain. He turned to Twilight “Blueblood is saying Ten Bits can’t bring Blake inside.”

The Prince argued “Two years ago, the Gala was overrun with animal, I don’t wish to repeat that.”

Captain Star took a firm stance “Not even a Guide Dog for the Blind?”

“He doesn’t look blind to me sir.”, Ten Bits held onto Blake his Rottweiler, fitting with the dress code Ten Bits didn’t wear the sunglasses Rainbow Dash gave him. His father meanwhile continued “Ten Bits has different type of blindness; his retinas are severely damaged.”

“Alright.” Flash called as both he and Twilight arrived “Ten Bits can bring his Guide Dog in with him.”, Twilight nodded and turned to Blueblood “I was there at this young colt’s bedside when the doctor told him he went blind. Blake was one of Fluttershy’s pets, I’m allowing it.”

Blueblood narrowed his eyes “If that dog causes problems then it’s on your horn.” The Prince walked back to the Gala. Top Hat sniffed “What a dreadful bore. Surely he should have seen the Clover Cross on Ten Bit’s uniform.”

OJ turned to his crewmate “It’s not Ten Bits having that award that offends him. I can understand being concerned about animal problems, but Blake wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Hercules spoke next “It’s all water under the bridge now my dears, I think we should go in.”

Captain Star nodded, then he turned seeing Flash and Twilight returned to the Gala themselves “Everyone on you best behaviour, understand Warrior keep out of harm’s way.”

“I do my best Captain.”, the nine ponies, eight dressed in their yellow uniforms, Hercules of course in his Wonderbolts Reserve uniform.

The announcer called them out, including the awards, a lot of ponies began crowding around Ten Bits, Top Hat, Sunshine and Warrior. Top Hat of course took the attention with stride, however the others. Both Ten Bits and Sunshine kept close and tried to escape. Warrior ran for it and rammed head first into a pillar, thankfully not breaking it.

Big Jock and OJ went over the food table. Captain Star joined the line to speak with Princess Celestia. Hercules went to find Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolts. And Grampus started having a conversation with Fluttershy and Tree Hugger on dolphins, Sapphire Shores appeared and joined in the talk as well, dolphins being her lucky animal.

Outside in the carriage park the pullers where converging at Donut Joe’s shop when a loud roaring noise and the occasional bang sounded and got closer. Hesitantly they all went to the window and to their surprise saw an unusual and large boxy cart coming towards them. Painted in a Khaki green, the standard colour of the Fifth Regiment of Hoof. The long-fronted vehicle rolled into the parking area.

The doors of the enclosed cab opened and out stepped Major Green Field and Porter. In Full Dress, the red ceremonial uniform of the Royal Guard, complete with Cuirass chest plates and helmets. They wore their ranks symbols of their sleeves.

The Major looked to the cab “Thank you Doctor Turner, I must say the new Troop Transport Truck is well done.”

In the cab, Time Turner nodded “I do hope so. Although the V8 engine I designed does burn a lot of fuel, maybe I should try either Liquid Petroleum Gas or the same Alchemical mixture the Post Service use.”

“We’ll discuss that later turn. Park the Truck and wait for us.”

“Yes sir.”, as the Truck trundled off Porter turned to the Major “Do you think that was wise sir, coming all the way to Canterlot on an untested vehicle, we could have taken the train.”

“In these uniforms, Porter?” the Major shook his head and they headed to the entrance. Once announced the pair spilt, Porter went to the buffet and towards a group of mares and the Major joined the line to speak with the Princess of the Sun, said Princess stood talking to a dark blue Unicorn with a white mane and tail dressed in a yellow tunic and a pith helmet. Celestia glanced up and grinned “Major Green Field, so good of you to come.”

“The pleasure is mine your Majesty.” He bowed. The Unicorn spoke “If you excuse me Princess I need to find my son.”

“Of course, Captain.”, once the Unicorn left the Princess explained “Captain Bright Star was one the finest officer of the Royal Marines. He reminds me very much of his ancestor Sir Bold Star, the Marine Knight, his example was used in the founding of the Royal Navy.”

The Major nodded “I’ve heard of both, perhaps I’ll find the time to speak to him, ex-military to ex-military” the Major then sighed, Celestia looked slightly confused, the Major took his turn to explain “I’ve had troubles recently.” He explained about Miss Fair Grey and Celestia nodded “I know the feeling, many friends I made in the thousand years of my time here have left and still miss them, though my pain lessens every time I think of them.”

“My condolences.”, the Major said, Celestia smiled and the Major returned the party.

He passed Porter talking to a couple of mares, the Major shook his head and came across Applejack and Apple Bloom.

“Howdy Major.”

“Good evening Miss Applejack, Miss Apple Bloom. How is your evening.”

Apple Bloom jumped “It’s great! Much better than last year.”, Applejack nodded “With what we keep going through I think it just fine and dandy just to have a quiet Gala.”

“I could agree more. But,” he smirked and turned to Porter “the Gala has been known for bring couples together.”, Applejack shook her head “I ain’t look for romance Major, you could say I’m married to my work.”, the Major nodded “I used to think the same too, until,” he sighed.

Applejack frowned “Sorry about reminding you Major. I heard about what happened.”

“No, it alright.” And the Major walked away.

Rainbow Dash talked with Hercules “Still can’t believe you slept through that fire.”

“I know darling; I feel silly for missing it. And of course, I was a little sad to learn about Ten Bits, although he does pulls off those sunglasses amazingly well, and Blake’s a lot of fun.”

“Yeah that foal’s awesome, bet he’ll be a role model for blind ponies in the future.”

“I don’t doubt it my dear.”

Rainbow blushed and shook herself “Why do you keep saying stuff like that, I am you superior you know?”

“True, but this is an informal occasion, we’re only in uniform because Spitfire demanded it. Still it does make the mares swoon when I pass by in this get up.”

“Your almost as bad as Thunderlane, he’s swaps mare-friends like Spike swaps comic books.”

“And what about you and relationships? I notice you have a thing for Soarin.”

“I, I, how?” she sighed “Maybe. But I’ve been staying away from the Wonderbolts unless needed, so I haven’t talked with him outside of training or Wonderbolt related stuff. I mean with the map back in the Castle of Friendship I don’t know when I might be called away.”

“That’s not the whole truth is it darling?”, Rainbow bit her lip “Okay I’ll tell you this, but I don’t want the others to know, it’s Wonderbolt tradition, but I really hate the nickname I’ve been given.”

“I’ve heard them refer to you as Crash once or twice, why so?”

“It’s short for,” she gritted her teeth “Rainbow Crash.”

“A bit harsh my dear.”

“You don’t know the half of it. When I was a filly, way before I got my cutie mark by performing my first Sonic Rainboom, I was not a great flyer. Then, one day in flight school I messed up and landed in a garbage can. A colt nearby called me Rainbow Crash and then every-pony, even the teacher started laughing. Then I made a similar mess on my first day as a Wonderbolt and then they started calling me that here. I don’t know why I reacted, I’d gotten over it by the time of the Young Flyers competition, didn’t even react when Spike said it during that Poison Joke trouble, but then when the Wonderbolts called me that, my idols call me the name I hated so much.”

“Celestia,” Hercules said, “shouldn’t you say something?”

“I could only just admit it to my friends, you I trust Hercules, you a good stallion, I definitely couldn’t tell the other Wonderbolts, it would make me look weak, I’ve always relied on action more than words. If having that nickname means being a Wonderbolt I’ll just live through it. And Spitfire isn’t the type to change lightly.”

“She might not,” said a voice causing Rainbow’s eyes to widen and her heart flutter, “but I will.” Soarin appeared from behind a pillar.

“Soarin sir,” Hercules said narrowing his eye “you weren’t spying on us we’re you?”

“No, I was on my way to get another pie when I heard Rainbow Dash discuss her nickname, suddenly it makes a lot of sense.” He turned to her “I’ve been through similar.”

“What?”

“When I was in flight school I was a clumsy flyer too, ended up crashing and hurting myself a few too many times. I still do sometimes, remember how I clipped and broke my wing at Rainbow Falls?”

“Yeah, you did that a lot as a foal?”

“Yeah, the bullies called me Sore-in, and the teacher wasn’t any the wiser since it sounded some much like my real name. I don’t mind Clipper as a nickname, but that because our nicknames are meant to be fun jabs, just a little joke between friends, but if it’s hurting you, then it affects your flying and your discipline, like that first flight show," he then put his hoove to his forehead "and the stuff in the barracks.”

Rainbow gave a big sigh “I just wanted to do something awesome so maybe I could get a different nickname, but I ended up causing a mess, you were right to call me that, but, it still hurts me, not as much as it used to.”

“Actually, I wanted to help. I wanted to fly into that storm cloud before you did.”

“What? You’d hurt yourself over my mistake, why?”

“You’ve seen my cutie mark?”

“At Cadance and Shining Armour’s wedding yes, what that got to do with it?”

“I’m very resistant to electricity, Dad joked I must be made of rubber. Before I joined the Bolts, I handled the storm clouds, for fun I used to fly into them and burst them, I’d have trails of lighting coming off me as I flew out.”

“That. Sounds. Awesome!” Rainbow yelled “Why have I never seen you do that?”

“Because Spitfire won’t allow it. She prefers military precision flying; everypony must fly as one unit like we’re machines. I haven’t flown into a storm cloud for a long time. I would have to save you from being shocked, but Spitfire stopped me.” He sighed and looked away “Like you Dash I wanted to be a Wonderbolt, just to show those bullies at flight school how good I could be, and I did, but when I first joined I didn’t like Spitfire’s way of handling things, like I said machines, synchronised, yeah military stuff is meant to show the power a team, but we’re also about entertaining, but.”

“You don’t feel your putting on a real show?”

“Not really. I mean I’ve seen other member of the Bolts with special talents, you for example, you’re the most talented flyer I’ve ever seen, you performed a Sonic Rainboom, I thought that was just a legend.”, Rainbow blushed at the praise.

A voice came from behind Soarin “Elite groups are meant to have a certain degree of free thinking.”, the older Wonderbolt flinched and turned around and blinked at the glare coming off the polished metal, Rainbow spoke “Hey Major, what do you mean?”

The Major nodded at the cyan mare and turned to Soarin and saluted “Major Green Fields, late of Her Majesty’s Fifth Regiment of Hoof, and what I mean is that the Third Hoof had an elite subgroup, the Commandos, their members were chosen due to their individuality, their intelligence and initiative. And because of that they were the most elite of the Royal Guard for almost a hundred years and the Third keep up their practices. Discipline mattered but it wasn’t the top priority.”

Soarin blinked “How come I never heard of them?”

“The Commandos also dipped into sabotage and espionage, many of their action are still top secret.”

Soarin nodded and then looked around, “Where’s Hercules?”

“He told me,” the Major said, “he was giving you two some private time.” And he walked of leaving both Pegasi blushing. The stallion turned to her “Rainbow?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we go outside for a moment.”

“Sure.”

As they walked towards the gardens Hercules turned to a surprised Spitfire “Looks like I might win the bet darling.”, the leader of the Wonderbolts turned to the reservist “They haven’t said anything, Clipper and Crash may not do anything outside.”

“We’ll see my dear, we’ll see.”

Outside in the gardens the pair sat next a tree, Rainbow looked to him “What do you want to talk about out here?”

“I, how should I put this. Ever since the Young Flyers Contest I’ve been, interested in you, then we meet again here at the Gala two years ago,” he chuckled “when you saved my pie.”

“Kind of silly really.”

“Not when you like pie as much as I do, and your friend Applejack makes some great pies, having one that delicious go to waste, I’d never forgive myself.” He then sighed “Then the Wind Rider incident, I don’t know what came over me to accuse you, I was tearing myself up inside but I guess as one of the top flyer I had to make sure justice was done, thank Celestia Rarity found out the truth.” He then smiled “Then you got picked to be one of us. Then flying beside you in that first show, I was sad you pulled away, then seeing you launched back and forth, I just couldn’t stand and watch, but Spitfire made me.” He sighed with a groan “What I’m trying to say is, I like you Rainbow, not just, as a friend, I, I want to ask, Rainbow Dash?”

“Yeah Soarin?” Throughout his monologue her eyes widened at what he said, now she almost expected them to pop out of her head, and they might just if he was going to say what she thought.

“Rainbow, would you, be my, my mare-friend?”

Her wings sprang out and she went into a moment of fangirling repeating “Oh my gosh.” Rough three dozen time at about a million miles an hour.

“Equestria to Rainbow Dash.” Soarin called. She blinked and smiled wider then she had when Spitfire told her she was a proper Wonderbolt, she nodded repeatedly “Yes!” she yelled “Celestia yes!”, she might have start bouncing like Pinkie Pie if the stallion hadn’t unfurled his wings and pulled her into a hug. Both of them blushed at their closeness, taking the plunge he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, she squeaked and he chuckled, he could hear her fangirling even from inside her head, “Come on, let’s get back to Gala, or else every-pony will wonder where we got to.”, she smiled and nodded, before her expression turned sultry “I bet we’ll be going places in the future.”, he blinked and blushed before smirking himself “I hope so.” He let her go from his wings and they headed back inside.

But Rainbow paused and face-hoofed "How're Mom and Dad going to react when they here about this?"

Soarin chuckled "Don't sweat it Rainbow, I get similar from my Dad, they mean well.", Rainbow nodded "Yeah, they sure do."

Rarity stood with Top Hat, listening to him talk to some of her high society friends including Fancy Pants and Fleur Dis Lee. She could also just make out the shape of Prince Blueblood.

Her relationship to the Prince stood on thin ground. Two years ago, at her first Gala, after becoming infatuated by him she hoped to meet him and they’d fall in love, however when they did in fact meet he treated her with little respect, and indeed to the exact opposite of what a chivalrous prince should do, so accustomed to being treated like royalty he acted spoilt and so self-centred he probably believed the world revolved around him.

Rarity final couldn’t take her treatment by him any longer and so before she and the girls made a getaway she gave him a real piece of her mind.

Later, they meet again for a publicity stunt, when she tried to rise the social ladder of Canterlot, thankfully because of Fancy Pants she didn’t fall so hard. After the stunt ended they swiftly parted ways. She did catch a glimpse of him during the Equestria Games but they did speak to each other.

However, in the last year she got reports from Sassy Saddle, manageress of the Canterlot Boutique, where apparently, the Prince visited as a patron. She knew having such a high profile, celebrity figure as the Prince as a patron would boost her business, but her view of the Prince as a pony, well she needed a lot of convincing.

Top Hat continued with his story “When that steel rig smashed into the bridge the only thing I could say towards Zebedee was “That’s real zero thinking dummy.”” The group laughed, Fancy Pants turned to Rarity “You friend here is very charming Miss Rarity, I would have never believed Bridle City was home to such a pony.”

Top Hat responded, “I afraid I shouldn’t take all the praise, while I strive to and relish the chance to be the centre of attention, just like with my leading of the city’s Summer Sun Parade, I do admit when I had help with the bridge incident, if it wasn’t for Mr Grubber Wings, who for reason I can’t fathom is nicknamed “Lord Stinker.” Then we could have lost a goods trains.”

“Really?” Fancy Pants asked, “Pray tell what happened?”

“Well you see…” He began to explain, first the mail train which he saved, then the bridge collapse and Grubber Wing’s idea. A few ponies cringed at the idea of a train landing in a barge load of rubbish, but it still saved the locomotive and the driver from a dip in the canal.

Fancy Pants bowed “A most valiant endeavour sir. Now do tell us about your colleagues, even we of Canterlot know of your employer Captain Star,” he turned to the dark blue unicorn standing close by to Ten Bits, Blake and Sunshine before returning to Top Hat “But what his son and the small Unicorn?”

Top Hat blinked and his eyes widened “Ten Bits is Captain Star’s son?” he said under his breath, he then face-hoofed “Why didn’t I see it before, no wonder Captain Star didn’t leave his bedside after the fire.” He sighed “I’m sorry I can’t really say much on either Ten Bits or Sunshine, I don’t really want to say anything bad about me colleagues…”, a crash sounded and a punch bowl came flying towards them, Top Hat’s eye widened and quickly he stopped it with his magic. A drop or two spilled out and dripped onto the brim of Top Hat’s peak cap. The green Unicorn sighed, put the blow on the back of one of the waiters and took deep breath, before he hollered “Warrior!”

“Sorry.” Said Earth Pony called, a table cloth on his body, Pinkie Pie stood close by, and Marble right next to her, a tray of cupcake on her back “Sorry Mr Top Hat, one of my cupcakes fell off the tray when I got a twitch, then Warrior stepped on it and slide on the icing and into the table with the punch.”

Top Hat grunted “I thought Captain Star told you to stay out of trouble?”

“Top Hat,” Rarity said with a slight scowl “Pinkie just explained it wasn’t Warrior’s fault.”

“I’m sorry Rarity, it just I so used to Warrior causing problems, the only times I can recall him actually doing something right was with the log jam Upriver and the mess with Izzy Bulmer.”

Fancy Pants spoke “Oh really and what did those incidents entail and how did your accident-prone associate correct them?”

“I suppose I should start with the log ram. You see last winter…”

Rarity excused herself from the conversation, Top Hat already went into detail about more adventurous exploits with the Star Company when she visited with the Council of Friendship after the Great Fire of Bridle City Port, she wanted to meet up with her friends to check how things went.

As she left some-pony cleared his throat, she turned and found Prince Blueblood standing before her, she glared “What do you want, your Highness.”. Blueblood winced at the bile in the manner she addressed him, he took a deep breath and sighed “I know I am late, but I wish to apologise for my actions during the Gala two years previous.”

Rarity blinked and her jaw bobbed.

Blueblood continued “If you wish, as I would prefer, can we talk in private? For I wish to explain myself.”

Rarity checked her pocket watch “Very well, if it doesn’t take too long.”

“I shall endeavour to be quick.”, the went into one of the side gardens. Blueblood saw a rosebush and smiled, with his magic he picked one and gave it to her “My deepest apologises Miss Rarity.”, Rarity gave a small smile with a nodded and place the rose in her button hole.

The Prince sighed and looked up “I’ve always questioned what my place is in the world.”, Rarity titled her head, unusual way to start.

“I guess I should explain, my family, the Blueblood line have been in Canterlot almost from its founding, it’s also said we’re descended from an elder sibling of the Royal Sisters.”

Rarity’s eyes widened “An elder Alicorn than Celestia and Luna?”, Blueblood shrugged “It’s only a family legend, more a myth really, but one can get very attached to myths, my ancestors especially, somewhere in the past an earlier Prince Blueblood thought because of the myth he stood on equal ground with Princess Celestia, and it went to his head, only the finest for him and his family, and he determined the finest, he cut the family ties to the Necropolis and chose to local Bat Pony Undertaker.”

Rarity narrowed her eyes “Miss Vigil, Ponyville’s Undertaker said that any Bat Pony Undertaker outside the Necropolis, herself included were failed students.”

Blueblood nodded “We found that out later, a sad thing is the Bluebloods of the past based quality on their imagination, not the opinions of those,” he shut his eyes and gritted his teeth “in their words, below them.”

“So, your family has always been spoiled and self-centred?”

“Yes, and I had to keep up this, tradition, it you can call it that. I acted that way though I didn’t approve.”

Rarity wide eyes transformed into a glare, almost a powerful as Fluttershy’s Stare “You were pretending?”

He nodded “To fulfil the place my family made for me.” He shut his eyes and shook his head “Which goes against my passion, and my skills.” He glanced at his compass rose cutie mark. “I have a love of travelling, but given my position here and the way I have to act, no-pony would ever choose me for a delegation.”

“We don’t you just change?”

“Because my Father, though I hated him, made me promise to continue the, tradition. He seemed very much suited for it. He married my mother not for love but for convenience, and I wonder if they ever truly loved me, or if I was just the heir to the name. A name I wish I didn’t have.”

“Why?”

“Because my Father told me what he believed. He explained about the power and authority carried by the name Blueblood. He explained about the proper role of servants. And their duty to provide for their master's needs. All their needs. He explained that mother, of course, knew all about this. She had her own pool of stallions and colts, while Father had his nannies and maids. And he explained that if a servant found herself in an… uncomfortable condition, it was her own fault, and a potential embarrassment to the Blueblood name. So, it was only appropriate that they be sent on their way for their indiscretions.

“And he explained all of this happily and cheerfully. There was no shame, or embarrassment. He was simply laying out the facts of life to his heir and successor. In his mind, he was, if anything, bonding with me. Throughout it all, I just listened and nodded, quiet and wide eyed. And when Father was finished, and had returned to his paper, I excused myself from his presence and quietly left the room. Once out of sight, I ran out the door and to my bedroom. Locked myself in and broke down crying.”

Rarity just blinked “That’s utterly dreadful! How can you live with yourself doing things like that?”

He gave her a stern look “I don’t, but I have a lot of angry towards my Father. The house servants are quite good at replacing the fine furniture with more inferior stock when I let my rage get the better of me.” He sighed and shook his head “I also do my best to help charities anonymously. There’s Miss Coco Pommel in Manhattan if I recall.”, Rarity surprised just nodded, “I give a large sum to charities that I know are helping my many siblings.”

“Your,” she gulped “Bas…”

“My brothers and sisters. I make sure their happy, that’s what family is for.” He said firmly, “As for my persona, it’s more a parody of my Father, if I must keep up this tradition for how long I live, then I might as well make fun of it, without crossing too many lines.” He chuckled “In fact your outburst two years ago, allowed myself the chance to act more like myself, giving the impression I had somewhat reformed. Thank you.”

Rarity just blinked with her mouth open “Your, welcome.”

He smirked “Also, you have the smell of cats, I’m more dog pony myself.” They shared a laugh, then she paused before asking “Can I ask if you have any mare-friends?”

He shook his head “And I don’t have any current plans to, not while the legacy of my Father still hangs over me, if I am the last of the Bluebloods, then I’ll be fine, but if I do have an heir, then I won’t let them to be the pony my Father was.” He took a deep sigh “If you please I wish to be alone.”

Rarity nodded and left. Suddenly her whole view on Prince Blueblood changed, deep down a conflicted but concerned stallion, but forcing himself to do this, a tragic figure. ‘I should speak with Princess Celestia.’

The line of ponies wishing to greet the Princess disappeared by this point, so Rarity walked up and found the Princess speaking with a Bat Pony stallion, her eyes widened at him. His coat a shining greyish blue matching his finely polished leathery wings. Mane and tail of two tones, peach red and burgundy. His eyes a deep burning orange, with the slit pupils common to all Bat Ponies. As he spoke in his refined bass, which rumbled through her in an amazing way she just couldn’t describe, she saw his pearly white teeth along with his sharp fangs.

Over his body a finely tailored tightfitting white doublet with frills, allowing her a very good look at the outline of his body and the hint of some of his muscles. His collar low enough just to see dark birthmark for a double-headed bat.

Celestia spoke “Rarity? Do you need something.”

Rarity blinked and looked up “Oh,” she paused and nodded “Yes, I was speaking with Prince Blueblood, he told me about his public persona, he’s doing it to keep up a tradition he hates and it’s keeping him from his passion of traveling. I don’t like to see him suffer like that.”

Celestia nodded “I appear to be finished here so I will speak to him, where did you last see him.”, Rarity told the Princess about the side garden. Celestia nodded and glanced at her guest “Rarity, may I introduce Moonlight Spectre, he’s the youngest son of Lord Shadow Mark, the Head Mortician, here to represent the Necropolis.”

The Unicorn curtsied and the Bat Pony bowed, Rarity spoke first “I’ve heard some interest things about the Necropolis from our local Funeral Director.”

Moonlight smirked “I bet you have, very proud of our greatest colony are we Bat Ponies.”

“I must say you do look absolutely ravishing in that outfit. It makes you, irresistible.”

“Oh really? I’ve never known any Day Pony say that to me before.”

“But you do. Is that French Haute Couture?”

Celestia grinned and left the two to talk.

“It is based on the work of French Lamare; indeed, I believe it was first worn by a noble-stallion from his life time, Frobisher I believe he was called.”, Rarity’s eyes widened “I thought it was a myth that you took the cloths of the dead!”

“No, it’s true. Our clients usually arrive in their regular dress, we take them off and depending on the method of burial, we do dress them in finery before their funerals, whether it’s new, or supplied by the family.”

Rarity gave a small sigh, at least there existed some decency, then she raised her eyebrow “Is that why it looks a bit tight on you?”

“The doublet is meant to be tight, over the centuries this garment has been recut and stitched to fit its new wearer.”

“Centuries?” She exclaimed “Then I cannot be the same as it started.”

“Very true, but it’s not a fake, it is still the Frobisher suit, and because of it has changed gently overtime, it is still a good suit. My favourite for special occasions to be precise.”, Rarity couldn’t quite understand, but she couldn’t help but feel drawn to Moonlight as he spoke. “I can tell we’ll have a lot to discuss.”

Moonlight smirked and his fang glinted “I’m very much looking forward to it.”

“Then please, let me introduce to you my friends, Top Hat and Fancy Pants.”

“Lead the way then my lady.”, Rarity resisted the urge to squeal at being called “My lady.”

Captain Star laughed as the Major finished “And you’re sure it was the bicarbonate of soda?”

The Major shook his head “I just thought to say something to lighten the mood. Although I’m not sure Doctor Time Turner took it as a joke.”

“I’m not surprised.” Said a new voice “After the destruction he caused.”

The two military ponies turned as another military dressed pony approached them. A male Unicorn, with a cream coat with a slight hint of brown, his mane and tail made of three tone, starting with a dark greyish brown to a medium tone and finally and pale grey brown. His cutie mark appeared as a thin wingless dragon, bearing a resemblance to Discord, the dragon formed a circle and indeed, seemed to be eating its own tail.

His uniform looked like Captain Stars, a tailcoat-tunic combination of equal amounts of white and dark blue, the same colours as the coats of Celestia and Luna, with polished brass buttons and guiled epaulettes, a sword at his waist, a black bicorn hat with plumes.

This figure sat door with the pair and held out a hoof “I’m Lionheart, Sir Lionheart.”

The Major blinked and took the hoof “You’re Captain Sentry’s mentor.”

“Yes, Royal Knight and the twelfth of the current members.”

Captain Star narrowed his eyes “So you’re in the top half of the order?”

“Actually, there’s only twelve of us at current. We usually number twenty-six but,” he sighed “It’s odd, more ponies live in the Equestria than ever before and yet we can’t seem to find enough individuals to meet our standards, plus some of the more recent candidates have been rejected by Princess Luna, she did spend a thousand years in the moon to dwell on the Royal Knights of early Equestria. Sir Defender Warden and High Mountain for example.”

Both nodded, Lionheart sighed but then glanced to where Ten Bits talked with Sunshine, Twilight and Flash “You know, it’s common for a Clover Cross winner to be considered for the order.”

Captain Star’s eyes widened “I don’t think Ten Bits would like that, he’s still having trouble coping with being a receiver of the award.”

Lionheart nodded “You’re right, Flash is most likely going to be the next thirteenth. He could even make Governor if he works hard enough.”

The Major looked down at Lionheart’s cutie mark “Sir Lionheart, can I ask, what is with you mark?”

“I get asked about it a lot, the dragon of the east is a symbol of strength, power and wisdom, although there are rumours that the dragons of east are actually Dracon-Equus.” Lionheart glanced to the table in the far corner where Fluttershy, Tree Hugger, Discord, King Thorax and Cipher all sat around chatting. He returned to the confused duo “Rumours, there’s no evidence of any other Dracon-Equine creature beyond Discord existing, so other think the dragon of the east may actually be Discord.”

The Major raised an eyebrow “Discord and wisdom?”

Lionheart nodded “Unorthodox perhaps but he has allowed Princess Twilight to grow and learn in her position. As for why the dragon is in a circle, a circle stands for infinity, unity and wholeness. Unity in Equestria is specific to me, it’s my goal,” he put his hoof to the hilt of his sword “and I will use my strength, power and wisdom to achieve and preserve the unity.”

Captain Star nodded, but cleared his thought “Well then, what else should we talk about?”, Lionheart tapped his hoof to his chin and looked to the Captain “I’d like to know some of the stuff you got up to in the Royal Marines.”

Starlight sighed, she still had trouble connecting with friends, she’d been successful with the Elements, but still. Here she felt undeserved of being here, the Grand Galloping Gala. Out of her league.

Currently she stood close to a table with table with Fluttershy, Tree Hugger, Discord, Thorax and Cipher. Grampus and Sapphire Shores left to enjoy the night elsewhere.

A shadow came over her and she turned. Prince Blueblood stood before her, now a bycoket hat on his head, its wide brim turned up at the back and cut into a V shape and pointed in the front like a bird's beak.

Starlight narrowed her eyes “Your Highness?”

“Yes, Miss Glimmer.”

“You don't usually wear a hat.”

“I decided to now, Auntie Celestia gave me some advice very recently, so I decided on a change. Need some-pony to talk to?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Clearly, you’re not, you’re at the Grand Galloping Gala and you’re staying out of the way. Are you scare of something?”

“Maybe I just don’t like very big crowds.”

“If that’s true then Miss Fluttershy,” he darted his eyes over to the yellow Pegasus, who currently sat with Discord, Tree Hugger Thorax and Cipher at a table “Miss Fluttershy wouldn’t be here enjoying herself. A besides you got awarded membership to the Order of the Pink Heart of Courage.”

“She only doing that with friends.”

“True, but every now and then one must leave their comfort zone, that’s how Fluttershy made her friend, at least that’s what I’ve heard. Your scare of making friends and being able to keep them, correct?”, Starlight stared at him “How did you? Who? What?”

“I’m very perceptive. What I’m doing is getting to know as many from Ponyville, or should I say, the Everfree Kingdom now, since I’ll be travelling to and from there.”

“Oh. So, what are you going to be doing?”

“I’m supposed to helping a Miss Burning Heart help raise and train her goddaughter Aura.”, Starlight’s eyes widened “You’re an Aura Guardian!”

“So, you’ve heard of them?”

“Flash told us of Sir High Mountain. You should speak to Twilight, she wants to know more about aura and it connection to Jakhowls.” She glanced to Cipher “You should talk to Cipher too, he has a Jakhowl companion.”, Blueblood looked up “Really? I thought they’d disappeared. Thank you for the suggestion. I hope I can get the move to Ponyville done fast.”

“Why?”

He shrugged “Can’t really stand Canterlot. Ponyville sounds lot better, quieter and every-pony knowing everyone else. I may buy a house there, a home away from home perhaps?”

“I hope to see you in Ponyville soon.”, he nodded “After my affairs here are sorted out. Right now, I need to speak with some other ponies.”

Starlight watch him trot towards Fluttershy. She grinned to herself before walking away.

Blueblood glanced back and narrowed his eyes ‘I’ll have to watch her.’

Sitting at the table Discord suddenly stiffened midsentence, this took both every-pony else by surprise and they glanced at each other.

Thorax spoke first “Something troubling you Discord?”, Tree Hugger continued saying “Yeah, your vibes have gone all, not groovy.”

“I just felt unnerved by something.” Discord looked up and blinked before narrowing his eyes “Maybe it’s something to do with him.” He pointed and the other turned as a Blueblood walked up he then spoke “Forgive me for intruding, but may I join in on this conversation?”

Fluttershy’s wings twitched slightly before she smiled “Oh no please, go right ahead you’re Highness, I’m sure,” she glanced at Discord “every-pony wouldn’t mind.”, the Spirit of Chaos huffed and Tree Hugger smile with a tilted head “Really digging your vibes, really out there. I’d like to know you, you know?”

“I believe so, and you can simply call me Blueblood, I’m going to be visiting Ponyville soon, I may plan to buy a house in the town.”

“Oh really?” Fluttershy asked “You should tell Pinkie, so she can prepare a welcoming party for you.”

“I’m keep that in mind Miss Fluttershy.”

“Oh, please just Fluttershy you’re Highness.”

“It’s only fair the same thing applies for you to me.”, Discord suddenly pushed his face into Blueblood’s “Excuse me but I cannot help but notice this is a little forward of a progression.”, Blueblood shut his eyes and took a breath, his eye snapped open, is irises once a sky blue, now a glowing dark blue, his mane and tail started floating and began swirling and he spoke, his voice layered with deeper mystic tone “Could you kindly remove yourself from my face?”, Discord shuddered and launched back almost into a pillar and stood shaking “That, that was aura!”

Cipher blinked “Like Riolu and the filly Aura?”

Blueblood blinked and his eye returned to their normal colour and he turned to him “Riolu? Is that the name of your Jakhowl?”

Cipher nodded “Do you know what it means?”

“Wow,” Tree Hugger said “that caused a real shift in my chakras. You must be powerful spiritual.”

“Indeed, but I don’t use it often, no real call unless needed.” He sighed “Being an Aura Guardian today doesn’t do much to earn money, it’s a dying art really, I’m just thankful I learned about little Aura so I can teach her like my mentor did in secret.” He sighed again and shut his eyes “His family was one with the aura, but it’s not a lifesaving skill, his mother died, she had an accident while out shopping, his father tried to use her aura essence to revive her, transference is tricky, you have to give what you take, so to revive his beloved wife he gave his life up.” A hoof touched his, he blinked and turned to see a teary eyed Fluttershy, blushing he grinned and pulled from his coat a handkerchief, he gave it to her “His mother never really gotten over it, my mentor did though he didn’t like it. Broken heart can take ages to heal, and of course we can’t change the past, if we did it could be catastrophic, or so I’ve heard.”

Tree Hugger shut her eyes and leaned back “Deep, real deep.”

Fluttershy glanced to Cipher.

At that moment Celestia called everyone’s attention “If I could have every-pony’s attention, Princess Twilight Sparkle wishes to make an announcement.”, her former student, with Flash Sentry at her side took centre stage “Thank you, I do not know how many of you will approve, but Captain Flash Sentry has, ask for my hoof in marriage.” Eyes widened and murmurs travelled across the room.

Twilight took her deep breath and turned to her guard “Flash, my answer is yes.” She nuzzled his head and Flash accepted before planting a kiss on her forehead.

Cipher reared up and started clapping, Fluttershy joined in, Tree Hugger followed suit. From across the hall they heard the squeals of delight from both Rarity and Pinkie, before more ponies started clapping.

Blueblood chuckled “They look like a fine couple.”

“Oh,” Fluttershy said “they so adorable together. I wonder where the wedding’s going to be held. Ponyville makes the best sense, but they meet in the Crystal Empire, and Cadance and Shining Armour where married here in Canterlot.” She blinked “I wonder how Shining Armour will react?”

“Oh,” Cipher said, “is he that type of elder brother?”

“From what I’ve seen,” Thorax said chuckled “yes.”

Fluttershy turned to those present at the table “I’m sorry but I need to join with the others.”

“Go right ahead.” Cipher said.

Tree Hugger nodded “Yeah friend, I sense nothing wrong.”, Discord chuckled “If you remind her to invite me to the wedding I should be fine.”, Fluttershy nodded and trotted towards the Princess of Friendship.

Discord slivered up to Blueblood “So, you’re coming to Ponyville?”, Blueblood nodded “Yes so you’d best behave yourself.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“You can have fun so long as no-pony is hurt, be it physically or mentally, harm any and I bet Miss Fluttershy won’t be impressed.”

Discord sighed “I guess you’re right. But,” he leaned toward him “What can you do that’s any worse than what I’ve been through?”

“The aura is very powerful, if it comes to it, I would gladly die if it meant killing you.” His eyes stood glowing “And I would do it, so, are you feeling lucky.”

Discord backed up and sweated.

Blueblood sighed as let his aura go “Right now, we shouldn’t argue, for tonight,” he said turned towards the Princess of Friendship, her fiancé and the Council of Friendship, he also caught Rainbow Dash’s hoof leaving that of Soarin’s, thus making him grinned “we stand witness of the creation of new destinies. Let’s hope things turn out alright.”

An Actual Peaceful Wedding

“And when your done say, oh what a lovely tea party.” The waiter said putting the drinks tray down at the table, Cipher blinked and took his drink “What tea party? Have you got your events muddled up or something?”

The stallion shook his head “Just saying something odd as a conversation starter.”

Cipher watched him go and turned to the others at the table “Where do they get these nuts?”

Shining Armour took his drink “Oddest ice-breaker I’ve heard, nothing that odd was said during my bachelor party.”

Night Light smirked comment “You didn’t have one son. You were being brainwashed at the time.”

At the same time, Armour, Thorax and Cipher said, “Don’t remind me.”, the three looked at each other as the rest of the party laughed, Armour spoke up looking at Cipher “What do you have to do those events.”

“I was hatched not long after, so my earliest memories were Her Tragedy’s fits of rage at the older Changelings for failing.”

Thorax nodded “She called us weak and idiots, then she took the love from most of us and those affected starved, I’d call it decimation, but that’s one in ten, this was more like eight out of ten.” He sighed and shook his head “I just thank whatever god is out there that made me a remainder in that dark arithmetic.”, Shining and Cipher put their hooves on the Changeling King’s shoulder.

Flash took his drink with shaking hooves “I hope nothing wrong’s going to happen.”

Shining chuckled “With Twilight organising it, and with as many guards as we have I don’t think they’ll be much to go wrong.”

“I don’t mean from outside, I mean what happens if I mess up, I don’t want to break her heart.” He looked at the drink in his hoof “I don’t know whether I should drink to calm my nerves, or not, I don’t want a hangover when the music plays.”

Soarin spoke up “If you won’t have it I will.”, Cipher turned to him “While it’s good you don’t want something to go to waste, I never took you as an alcoholic.”

“Alcohol-what-now?”

“Never mind.”

Flash passed the glass over to the Wonderbolt before turning to Cipher “One thing I’d like to know is how come you decide to be a Post-stallion when you technically royalty.”, Shining nodded and turned to Thorax “Thorax named you a Prince of the Changeling, is that right?”, Thorax nodded.

“Correct, but I moved to Ponyville to get away from the Changeling mares,” he shuddered “I have some really bad memories of, mating, with her,” he shuddered again and winced “beside I’m generally an introvert. And I don’t want to lord over ponies, not my style. I chose the Post-stallion job to make friends on my rounds, I’ve made friends with the Major, Sergeant Porter, Muffins and Doctor Time Turner, and Fluttershy,” he smiled and leaned back shutting his eyes “what did I do to deserve her love?” he sighed with a smile.

Night Light took a swig and shrugged “Fair enough.” He turned to Flash “So what are you going to do when you become a prince?”

“Well, not a lot different from what I do now. I mean Shining’s still a member of the Royal Guard. I’ll remain Captain of the Everfree Guard. Only difference is new,” he paused and blush slightly “sleeping arrangements.” He cleared his throat and looked to Cipher “Do you know if Prince Blueblood’s arrived in Ponyville yet?”

“Not yet, I’m getting a bit impatient, from what Starlight said he knows about Jakhowls and I’m more than sure I won’t get anything from Discord, he’s still getting over the fact my and Flutters are a couple. The only thing keeping him at bay right now is Riolu.”

Shining raised an eyebrow “That little creature’s keeping Discord from causing trouble? He looked and acted fairly harmless.”

“Fairly?” Flash said, “There is still a percentage of a problem looming.”, Shining rolled his eyes “The same can be said for anything.”, Flash sighed and leaned back “Don’t remind me.”

Night Light chuckled and glanced to Shining “Poor boy’s just like me when I married your mother.”, North Sentry nodded “Similar experience, I’d watch it on the wedding night as well, the experience I had, it would make your mane and tail stand on end.”

Soarin blinked “I hope I’m not like that when me and Rainbow get married. The other Bolts won’t let me live it down.”

Flash smirked and looked to him “Do you think Rainbow Dash will want to get married?”

“Hey, she said yes to being my mare-friend, I think I can do the impossible and marry her.”

Cipher rolled his eyes and shook his head smiling, then he sighed and looked down “I’m not sure if I’d be brave enough to ask Fluttershy for her hoof, that meeting with her family got cancelled last minute. So, this’ll be the first time I meet them.”

“Hey,” Flash said, “don’t dump your problems on us, this is my night.”

Cipher put his drink down “I don’t think I like alcohol,” he swayed on his seat a bit “Is it true insects get drunk too?”

They all turned to him and North narrowed his eyes “Insects can get drunk to?”

“Something Time Turner told me, something he read in a scientific magazine, and apparently, bees of pessimists.”

Thorax, Night Light and North started laughing and Flash blinked “Bees?”

Cipher nodded “Some researched did this stimulus to a group of bees, one for something good happening, and one for something bad happening, and recorded the reactions, then they did this natural stimulus, not exactly how they did that, but, the bees behaved as if the bad thing happened. You should have seen Parcel Post’s reaction when I told him.”

Thorax narrowed his eyes “Parcel Post?”

Cipher nodded “He was the Post-stallion before me.” And explained. “He’s a beekeeper as well. The thing about bees to me is that the flowers are just using them for germination.”

Night Light’s face screwed and his hooves went to his face. North looked down “What’s up?”, Night Light murmured something and North’s eye widened “How do you know about those?”, Night Light glared at him and said, “None of you don’t want to know.”

Cipher raised an eyebrow but shrugged, he held his drink up “A toast to Flash, here’s to the hope of a happy marriage.”

“Cheers.” They said.

Flash nodded “Oh, I do hope so, I really do.”

“Princess please,” Aloe Blossom said, before her twin Lotus continued “if you don’t stop messing with your mane,” they both spoke saying “it will never look right.”

Twilight groaned and removed her hooves so the spa ponies could rearrange her mane again.

The Council of Friendship, Starlight included stood back, with the exception for Rainbow, who wore her officer’s uniform as a Wonderbolt, all the girls wore matching dresses, as designed by Rarity.

Pinkie turned to Rarity and whispered, “Twilight doesn’t seem to be in the right mood, does she?”

Applejack responded, “She’s getting married Pinkie, I may not have any experience but Ma and Pa said it was nerve racking, so does Granny Smith, surely the Cakes told you.”, Pinkie put a hoof to her chin “Maybe, but I remember being busy baking a cake at the time as well, a very important cake.”

Rainbow Dash scoffed “Every cake is important to you; I mean when Starlight put that weird obedience spell on us all you could think about was all the cakes.”

Starlight groaned “Thank you for reminding us of that Rainbow Dash.”

“Oh, sorry.”

Rarity walked up and straightened Twilight’s dress “Twilight, you’re almost as frazzled as your paranoia before the “What-it-need-it” spell, and before we improved the castle.”

“Don’t I have a right to be. Remember the last time there was a Royal Wedding?”

“But Chrysalis is not a threat.”

Starlight nodded “She said she wanted revenge on me Twilight not you.”

“Doesn’t mean something else won’t happen. I hope I don’t disappoint Flash.”

“Twilight?” Fluttershy said “You could never truly disappoint Flash, you two were made for each other, it really shows.”, Applejack nodded “Things might get a little bumpy on the way, but I know you and him will make it through, trust me.”

Twilight sighed and gave a small smile, Rainbow walked up beside her “Come on Twilight, you’ve no need to be nervous, you’re awesome every day, and today you look twenty percent more awesome.”, Twilight wanted to laugh, however stifled it as the spa twins finished fixing up her mane.

Once the pair were done she turned around and look at her five friend and her student, brides-mares “Every-pony will tell me and Flash this is one of the most important day of our lives, but that’s not true.” She got down and walked up to the six “With all of you every day is special no matter what’s going on, like I keep saying you’re all a part of me. To me you as much family as Mom and Dad, as Shining, Cadance and Flurry Heart, as Spike, as Celestia and Luna, and much as Flash will be to me. You’re not just me friends, you’re all the sisters I never had.”, they all hugged, which made Aloe and Lotus go “Aww.”

Meanwhile in another part of the castle six well-dressed stallions stood in the room. One paced the room back and forth while the other six watched. The moving groom wore his ceremonial uniform.

Shining, wearing the same ceremonial dress from his own wedding, spoke having almost enough “Flash if you don’t stop you’ll put grooves in the floor. You’re a trained solider, pull yourself together.”

The orange Pegasus stopped briefly before continuing to walk back and forth. Shining rolled his eyes and groaned. Soarin, in his Wonderbolt officer’s uniform, complete with black tie, nudged him “So you can add comforting your soon to be brother-in-law on the list of things your bad at.”

“Not helping.” Shining muttered, he grimaced and shut his eyes and shuddered. Soarin flinched and shifted his eyes before backing away. Shining opened his eyes and looked to the others “Any ponies else going to try.”

Cipher, dressed in a blue coat, with a white scarf-like cravat, shook his head “Other than scaring him stiff with a terrifying voice, I could layer some of my impression. But we need him to stand at the front of the alley and say the vows, so, I have nothing.”

“Yep.” Big Mac added, he wore a tuxedo.

Top Hat, in his Star Pony ceremonial uniform sniffed “It’s his day Prince Amour, let him waste however he feels.”

Shining glared at Top Hat “Why Rarity chose you to be her mirrored grooms-stallion I’ll never know.”

“We’re old and very good friends’ sir. Beside your sister wanted the same number of grooms-stallions as brides-mares, and since she wanted all her closest friend to be them well. I can’t help it if the Princess of Friendship is an obsessive compulsive.”, Cipher turned to him “How you get away with being so rude only I’ll never know.”, Top Hat glanced at the Changeling Prince with contempt.

The door opened and Spike, dressed in his tuxedo, walked in then saw Flash as the Pegasus passed him, the dragon walked up to Shining “How long’s he been doing this?”

“Just after you left.”

“That long?”

“Yes, and it’s annoying.”

Top Hat used his magic to polish his monocle “Perhaps he’s having second thoughts.”

“Top Hat!” Spike yelled.

“Of course, I’m not.” Flash said turning towards the green Unicorn “I never would, Twilight is the love of my life. I want to marry her more than anything, I’d give up being a guard if I had to.”

“Luckily you’re not.” Shining said, Spike nodded “Yeah, this is a happy occasion Flash. Even more for you, you’re the one getting married. It just seems so silly you of all ponies are stressed out.”

“I’ll try not to be.”

“Flash,” Shining said walking forward and putting a hoof on his shoulder “You were one of the best guards I ever had under my command. A prodigy who got through training and became an officer in only a year. I can’t think of anyone better to call brother.”

Spike cleared his throat and tapped his foot. Shining smirked “Don’t worry Spike you family to me too.”

Flash sighed “Thanks for trying to calm me down guys but I just can’t stand all this waiting, I want to make see Twilight and I want to know she’s safe. I’m her personal guard, it’s my job, and doubly so when we’re married.”

“It’ll be over sooner then you know.” Shining stated firmly “I’d say I have some experience on this, but,” he shuddered again “Anyway this is the start of the rest of your life, together with Twilight, you should treasure it, because it’ll be over before you know it.”

“Right sir, understood.” Flash said straightening up and hold his head high. Top Hat appeared at Shining’s side and magicked a comb “Now that this little episode is over let’s get you looking smart, you do want to impress your bride.”

Flash smirked and stood still as the Star Pony began fixing him up. A few moments passed and Flash felt a couple of pulls from his hair as Top Hat untied the knot of his mane “There.” He said standing back “I may not have Rarity keen eye, but I do have an attention to detail, if I do say so myself.”

A knock came at the door and Big Mac opened it.

The Major stood in the doorway in his ceremonial dress uniform “There ready for you sir.”, Discord appeared at the Major’s side “You’d better get moving, you don’t want to be late to your own wedding.”

Flash virtually galloped to the door “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Big Mac helped Spike into his back and the six followed the excited groom.

Flash calmed himself as he entered the main hall. He gulped, so many ponies, Canterlot celebrities, Ponyville townsfolk, the rest of the Star Ponies and members of his intake during his training. He took a deep breath and walked up to the front where Cadance stood, as Princess of Love it made sense for her to handle weddings, beside her, Reverend Farthing. She smiled at him, then to her husband acting as the Best-stallion, then the other grooms-stallions and dragon took their place.

On Shining’s back rested the pillow with the rings, one to be placed on Twilight’s horn, the other a bangle to be on one of Flash’s legs.
He looked to the bride’s side of the room, several of the guests bring Ponyville residence, including the families of the Council of Friendship, and Twilight’s Mother, Twilight Velvet, and of course Sunburst and Flurry Heart. Mrs Sparkle nuzzled her granddaughter before looking to Flash with smile. Discord appeared in about the middle, but after receiving some complaints from ponies behind him shrunk to better accommodate the attendants.

He them turned to his side, at the front stood his parents, North and Fortune, and his foal brother First Base, who tugged at this collar, causing his mother to start fussing over him. Flash chuckled.

He glanced at the side of the hall where other ponies stood, include the Star Ponies, and Trixie, having been invited by Starlight’s request.
Octavia and a trio of other string instrument ponies started playing the march, Flash took a deep breath as he heard a couple of gasps and murmurs along with the clopping of hooves. He knew from the arrangement both Celestia and Luna would walk in front of the bridal party before taking their places, behind them the bride would be escorted up by Night Light and the six brides-mares would hold the train of her dress. He resisted seeing her until he could remove her vial.

A shadow cast at his side and he looked to his side, Night Light nodded to Flash and to Cadance before stepping down and joining his wife.
Flash unfurled his wings and with the tips lifted the vial of his bride, he lost himself in her eyes, no matter how many times he saw them, they always looked new to him.

Cadance spoke “Princess Twilight Sparkle, Captain Flash Sentry, the union you are about to enter is meant to be the most beautiful and sacred expression of the love between you two. You are about to say vows and commit your lives to one another. Today you become life partners, working as one unit. You have the opportunity to go forward today and create a faithful, kind and tender relationship.”

She then addressed the gathered “Because Captain Flash Sentry is of the Silver Enlightenment I will give the service over to the Reverend Honouring Farthing to them a blessing.” She stepped aside and the Reverend nodded at took centre stage.

“In the presence of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,” he made the sign of the cross with his horn, Flash followed with his wings, and Twilight secretly moved her head, making a small sign herself. Celestia and Luna gave a small bow. Flash’s family and a few of the guest made the sign as well.

The Reverend continued “We have come together to witness the marriage of Flash Sentry and Twilight Sparkle, to pray for God's blessing on them, to share their joy and to celebrate their love. Marriage is a gift of God in creation through which husband and wife may know the grace of God. It is given that as Stallion and Mare grow together in love and trust, they shall be united with one another in heart, body and mind, as Silver Light is united with his bride, the Church.

“The gift of marriage brings husband and wife together in the delight and tenderness of sexual union and joyful commitment to the end of their lives. It is given as the foundation of family life in which children are born and nurtured and in which each member of the family, in good times and in bad, may find strength, companionship and comfort, and grow to maturity in love.

“Marriage is a way of life made holy by God, and blessed by the presence of our Lord Silver Light,” he bowed “with those celebrating a wedding in the Unicorn Kingdom. Marriage is a sign of unity and loyalty which all should uphold and honour. It enriches society and strengthens community. No-pony should enter it lightly or selfishly but reverently and responsibly in the sight of almighty God.

“Flash and Twilight are now to enter this way of life. They will each give their consent to the other and make solemn vows, and in token of this they will each give and receive a ring. We pray with them that the Holy Spirit will guide and strengthen them, that they may fulfil God's purposes for the whole of their earthly life together.”

The Reverend looked up to the gathered “First, I am required to ask anyone present who knows a reason why these ponies may not lawfully marry, to declare it now.”, a few eyes glanced to the big doors encase some-pony burst through it.

They waited a full ten seconds, the Reverend nodded and returned to the couple “The vows you are about to take are to be made in the presence of God, who is judge of all and knows all the secrets of our hearts; therefore, if either of you knows a reason why you may not lawfully marry, you must declare it now.” The couple looked to each other and smiled, they turned back and shook their heads in unison.

The Reverend chuckled and turned to the groom “Flash, will you take Twilight to be your wedded wife? Will you love her as a person, respect her as an equal, share in both joy and sorrow? Triumph and defeat? In sickness and in health? For better and for worse? And will you shun all other and keep her as your one and only love for however you both shall live?”

“I will.” He said with a smile. The Reverend turned to the bride and repeated the question, to which the Princess of Friendship naturally responded, “I will.”

The Reverend looked to the gathered “Will you, the families and friends of Flash and Twilight, support and uphold them in their marriage now and in the years to come?”

“We will.” Came the response.

The Reverend stood up straight “God our Father, from the beginning you have blessed creation with abundant life. Pour out your blessings upon Flash and Twilight, that they may be joined in mutual love and companionship, in holiness and commitment to each other. We ask this through our Lord Silver Light your Son, who is alive and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.”, the few Silver Enlightened responded, most either mouthed or nodded.

The Reverend backed to the side and Cadance returned to the centre “With Celestia as my witness and in the presence of all those gather, by my power as Princess of Love,” she levitated the rings, place the smaller on Twilight’s horn, and the bangle on Flash’s from left hoof before saying “I hereby pronounce this couple husband and wife. Let all recognise and respect this union from this day onward.”

The two quickly kissed, unlike with Unicorn marriages which usually involved a kiss of magic, lip contact was the natural thing for all others, with the addition of wing hugging.

Celestia clapped first, followed by Twilight’s parents, then by the Sentry family. It soon crescendo, still to two kissed.

Finally, they brook the kiss and took each other’s hooves. Cadance finished “May I present Princess Twilight Sparkle and Prince Flash Sentry.”, the royal couple leaned into each other as they walked down the alley, together and towards the balcony.

Overhead Rainbow and Soarin did a display. First Soarin flew into a storm cloud bursting it and having a long trail of lightning following, in the same spot with the last trace of lightning in place Rainbow sped up and performed her Sonic Rainboom which mixed with the lightning. She caught up with her colt-friend and the two created a rainbow and lightning combo over the city of Canterlot.

Evening came in and everyone, pony, dragon, Spirit of Chaos and Changelings a like all went to the courtyard.

The Reverend acted as announcer, he charged his horn for an amplification spell before speaking “Good evening every-pony. Now may I thank you all for coming to the reception. To start we should do the throwing of bouquet, so would all the unmarried mares gather together?” A mini migration of mares formed in the centre of the courtyard as the Reverend continued “Now let’s set some ground rule, no shoving or kicking or such like, let’s leave the chaos creating to Discord.”, everyone laughed, “Second no flying and no magic, let’s give every-pony a fair chance,” he turned to the newlywed princess “When you’re ready your Highness.”, she nodded turned around and threw the bunch of flowers into the air.

Rarity’s voice shrieked, but another mare called out triumphantly “I win!” Pinkie cried the bouquet in her hoof, she recovered and looked around “Do I get a prize?”, everyone laughed.

The Reverend clapped getting everyone attention “Now it’s time for the first dance, would the lovely couple take their place?”, Flash lead Twilight down.

Twilight naturally learned to waltz by the book, and Flash to his credit knew his hoof-work. It made every-pony else nervous to start, having to measure up to them.

The only two couples to follow them for the second dance were Rainbow Dash and Soarin, and Fancy Pants and Fleur Dis Lee. Applejack swore she saw Big Mac talking with Cheerilee.

After the two couples finished the second dance Night Light danced with his daughter. Flash watch and relished his wife’s smiling face, his heart softened at the thought of call Twilight his wife.

First Base, Flash’s kid brother walked up “You were great up their bro.”

“Thanks Sport.” The Guard Pony said ruffling the colt’s mane before saying “Everything feels right with world.” Then he blinked and look a little stern “Don’t think you can capitalise on this now. I may be a Prince by marriage but that doesn’t mean you can claim bragging rights.”

“Don’t worry,” he then laughed and rubbed the back of his neck “I kind of learnt it through the CMC.”, Flash raised an eyebrow and the colt started explaining. At the end, Flash sighed and pulled his little brother into a hug “It’s alright Sport, no-ponies prefect, not even Twilight.”, he glanced around seeing Starlight and Sunburst talking with Trixie and Thorax, then he caught Rainbow Dash and Soarin arguing with Fluttershy’s younger brother Zephyr Breeze, while Fluttershy and Cipher did their best to calm them down. Flash sighed and started walking towards them, but glanced back at his brother “You’d better find Ma and Pa, I’ll handle this.”

“Yes sir.” First Base said giving a salute and running off. The Guard Pony put on a stern face a walked towards them, getting close enough to hear the argument. Apparently, Zephyr spilled his heart out at Rainbow and asking how she could do such a thing to the brother of her oldest friend and Rainbow responded, “You just assumed I had a crush on you and I was hiding it, how can I hide something I never had in the first place? The only reason why I didn’t say anything was because of your fear of failure and rejection,” she made sure to say “your” the most pronounced in her statement, even pointing her hoof at him “that and I thought you were so dense you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Can we all just calm down.” Flash said catching every-ponies’ attention, he turned to Zephyr “Breeze I understand you feel heartbroken but maybe you should’ve actually established the facts before pointing the hoof.” He then turned to Rainbow Dash “But shouting in his face isn’t the answer.” He looked back to Zephyr “You just as highly sprung as your sister, yes I get you feel rejected, but think of this as a new opportunity, there’s a world out there ready for discoverary, I used to wonder if I’d find a special some-pony, then me and Twilight bumped into each other. There’s a pony out there whose just for you, you should go out and discover, don’t think of this as a closed door but a crossroads.”

Zephyr blinked and shook slightly “What if I choose the wrong path? I did it with Rainbow, what if I do it again.”

Fluttershy put her hoof to his “Zephyr, things aren’t as bad as you think, just take thing one step at a time, and if you need help you can just ask, but only when you really need help, you need to do it by yourself to know if you can.”

“Thanks sis.”

“Can I just ask,” Flash said, “what brought this up?”

Rainbow answered, “Zephyr here got shocked at me dancing with Soarin, when he asked why we both said we were a couple, then he got angry saying I betrayed him.”, Flash lifted his hoof “I think I get what happened next. Like I said Breeze you need to go out into the world to find the pony for you. I joined the Royal Guard to do that, you’re a Mane Therapist, I remember hearing about a spa in the Crystal Empire that may need one.”, Zephyr’s eye widened and looked to his parents then to Fluttershy, they all nodded their encouragement, he grinned “Okay, I’ll have a look.”

Flash nodded and walked away.

Fluttershy turned to her parents and step back to stand to Cipher “Mon, Dad, Zephyr, I’d like to introduce Cipher, my colt-friend.”

Cipher gulped and bowed low “It’s great to finally meet you. I’m sorry if I, if you don’t…”

“Don’t what?” Mr Shy said softly as walked up “You may be a Changeling, but Fluttershy told us about you already, you, seem quite a nice pony.”, Mrs Shy trotted up “And you look handsome,” she blushed “in an exotic way.”, and Zephyr sidled up and put his hoof around Cipher “You’re pretty cool man, Changeling or not, I’m glad big sis has some-pony making her happy, hope I can find mine someday.”

“A word of advice, if you find some-pony you’re always happy with, then there’s love in the air. Take it from some-pony who literally know what love it.”, Zephyr laughed.

Twilight spoke with Starlight and Spike “I’m expecting you to get through more self-taught lessons Starlight, and there’s a list of things to do to sort out the Kingdom’s affairs while we’re gone, give them to Mayor Mare as soon as possible.”

Starlight put her hoof on her mentor’s shoulder “Don’t worry you can count on me. You just enjoy your honeymoon.”, Twilight smiled as she thought about her husband. Flash walked up and cuddled her “Don’t worry we will. It’s you who’s got the hard work.”

Cipher as he walked up chuckled “As my Time Turner told me, give a some-pony a job they love and they never have to work again. Depends how you view the job in hoof.” He glanced to Fluttershy talking with Rainbow, and smiled.

“Good.” Flash said, before he took Twilight’s hoof.

The exited the courtyard and through the place to the Main Street. The meet Dauntless Doo and Chrome Blade as their escort.

Existing the gateway, they heard the Major called out “Platoon! Present Arms!”, a tunnel of spears appeared over their heads and they walked along the carpet to the street.

The royal couple boarded their carriage, with the traditional ‘Just Married.’ Sign on the back, the Guard Ponies hitch to it started pulling it passed the cheering crowd of Canterlot Ponies and transported Princess Twilight Sparkle and Prince Flash Sentry of the Everfree Kingdom onwards towards the rest of their lives.

The Ambling Suit of Armour

Only a couple of days passed since the wedding and yet while most Ponyville residents decided to relax and take time off, not the Postal Service.

Cipher’s sleeping problems disappeared after the meeting with Fluttershy’s family. And a good thing too, the Post Office got almost flooded by letters and presents to the new royal couple. Cipher needed to make multiple trips to the Castle of Friendship, where Starlight and Spike, with the help of the Reverend moved them to a side area of the entrance for the couple of open and read.

Cipher arrived back at the Post Office in time to see Parcel Post leave, with a pile of posters on his back, they greeted each other and went to their duties. Parcel went to the station and Cipher returned the Post Office.

Muffins carefully pressed at the corners of a new poster. The poster displayed a print of the front of Kimblewick Hall. Cipher walked up to it and read “Kimblewick Hall open to the public, well I never,” he turned to Muffins “mind you it’ll be a lovely show, it’s a fine house.”

Muffins sorted out the rest of the post “But Cipher, think off all the carts, ponies and the litter. Oh, before I forget, Miss Cheerilee asked for you to drop in at the school and have a word. I don’t know what she wants.”

Cipher hummed “I expect it’s something to do with the opening of Kimblewick Hall, I remember her mentioning the Hall this morning but I didn’t catch it all.” He took the post “I won’t forget. Bye for now.” He went to the door.

He walked up to the cart and an impatient Jakhowl “Alright Riolu, I’m coming.” He put the post in the cart and climbed up on the driver’s seat “You never know Cheerilee might have a bone for you today. I just hope she doesn’t want to continue with the algebra lesson.” He started the cart and rolled off “Find out what X equals, how can I when it always seems to be something else?”

He followed the road and stopped outside the schoolhouse, no foals out in the playground and he couldn’t hear any lessons. Cheerilee must be giving to foals a day off after the wedding. Cipher still wondered what she wanted him for and he carried a parcel for her. He knocked on the door before opening it “Hello Cheerilee?” Looked about the room “Where are you?”

“In here Cipher.” Came the teacher’s voice, from a side room. Cipher walked in met a ladder, he climbed up and blinked, piles of paper everywhere and in the middle Cheerilee filing through them “Now where did I put it?”

Cipher step closer “Good grief Cheerilee.”

Suddenly a wind blew through the opens front door and into this study just below the bell tower. The wind caught the paper and start to blow them about. The front door shut with a clatter and the papers started falling.

Cipher gulped “Oh dear, I’ve made a real mess.”

Cheerilee grabbed some of the papers as they fell towards her “Oh dear, Cipher can you pick the sheet of the floor please?”, he hastily put the parcel down on a chair and began grabbing the papers with his magic “Where should I put these?”, the parcel fell off the chair.

“Just put it where you can.”

Cipher put the pile firmly on the chair and picked up the parcel “I wouldn’t like to sort this lot out.”

Cheerilee picked up a familiar poster “I’m looking through this paper to get ready for the grand opening of Kimblewick Hall. The Major has asked me to show ponies around. So, I’m trying to find out about the history of Ponyville.”

Cipher put the parcel on the desk and nodded “Yes, I saw the poster. I don’t know if there was much history to Ponyville, no famous battles, no ghost, nothing like that. The only thing I can think of is the Castle of the Two Sisters, and I doubt any tourists want to go into the Everfree Forest. Now that I think about it, what’s this idea about tourism anyway?”

“Well,” Cheerilee said “Perks told me there’s been an increase of day trippers to Ponyville ever since the Everfree Kingdom was established, and interest has increased again since Twilight and Flash’s wedding. The Major’s opening the Hall as an attraction, since in Ponyville there’s only the Castle of Friendship, the Town Hall and the Market. And Granny Smith isn’t going to open Sweet Apple Arches to the public.”

“Talking about the Apples,” Cipher said “is there actually much history to Ponyville? Applejack told me it was founded only a hundred years ago, and all because of Zap Apple Jam.”

“Don’t be so sure Cipher, you never know what you’ll find in these old papers, Ponyville may be a recent settlement compared to Canterlot, but some of our traditions date back centuries to time of independent Earth Pony nation, Winter Wrap Up dates from before the founding of Equestria. And of course, Vincent van Colt was a citizen of Ponyville soon after its founding.”

“That’s true I suppose, I wonder when Kimblewick Hall was built, and for who?”

“That reminds me, there’s one thing I would to see, folks say Chelsea Porcelain has a very old diary that her uncle kept, and he was the first head butler at Kimblewick Hall. Could you ask her if she could lend it?”

“It’s worth a try, I’ll ask when I call with the letters.”

“I feel sure she’ll let you have it. I’ll take good care of it. I’ll be at the Hall this afternoon.”

“Alright, I’ll pop in after I’ve finished with the letters and tell how I get on. Bye for now.” Cipher walked back to the ladder and climbed down and went to the cart.

After a few more stops, he went to visit Time Turner. A load buzzing came from workshop, Riolu held his ears tightly and hide inside the cart. Cipher got down and took the necessary letters and went to the door.

Time Turner stood at his work table with a dirty and slightly rusted suit of old armour. Using a special spinning tool, he worked at the dirt and revealed the shining metal. To protect his face, he wore a mask with a visor.

Some of the smaller pieces of armour looked done. The helmet, which cover the entire head, then the cranium extended up to a pointed apex, a visor hinged to it, it extended out to a pointed beck like nose and with small breathing hole and small eye slits. Next to the helmet smaller gantlets.

“Hello Time.” Cipher called, but Time didn’t notice, he stopped and lifted his visor but focused on the shine of the armour. Cipher walked up confused, he tapped Time on the shoulder and the doctor jumped, the visor fell down and he looked up at Cipher “Hello Cipher, you gave me quite a fright. I didn’t hear you come in.” He lifted the chest plate he worked on, and smiled at the shine “Look at this, just like new. Almost ready for the grand opening.”

Cipher nodded “I know, of Kimblewick Hall, I didn’t know the Major had a suit of armour.”

“Neither did I, he kept it in storage, was in the Hall when he bought the house during his days in the Royal Guard.”

Cipher blinked “He bought the Hall? Where did he get the money from?”, Time shrugged “I haven’t a clue.” He chuckled “You know, if I do a good job with this Princess Twilight may want me to restore the armour in the Castle of the Two Sisters.” He reared up and placed the plate at his chest “What do you think Cipher? I’ve always wanted to try something like this on.”

Cipher chuckled “Well now’s your chance. I’ll bring a tin opener next time I call in case you get stuck.” He gave Time his post and turned to leave. He then stopped at a new set of drawings on the wall, they looked somewhat familiar and turned to Time “You not building another robot, are you?”

Time put the chest plate down and walked up “I am, but not as a Post-stallion and I’ve designed a type of intelligence to it, I worked out the problems of the Forget-Me-Not Computer by working from the ground up, it’ll work using what I call a Quantum computer, instead of having the Quantum Mechanics of the wild magic interfere with the prosses, Quantum Mechanics are the prosses. I’ve got it worked out don’t worry.”

Cipher scratched his head “How are you going to build it them.”

“Well, there’s a company in Manehatten who make a wide range of things, from cuckoo clocks to money boxes to garden gnomes. Spotted Wood and Company I think, there main machine called Bright One should be able built it. I still need to think of the control system.”, he went over to the drawing board and tapped his chin with a pencil.

Cipher decided to watch, he never saw Time’s thinking prosses before.

Time started to sing as he thought out load “What can we have, that will do the job nicely? Easy to control and will job the job precisely…” He tapped his pencil few times, blinked then smiled and drawing “A Talk Operated Machine is what we need here… Some I can think of that will run for a year… A Talk Operated Machine is what we need here… T O M, yes, T O M…

“A Talk Operated Machine is what I’ll do then… A super little robot that can be like a friend… A Talk Operated Machine, I call it Tom then… T O M… T O M…

“Then I can go and work with Bright One, set a programme through… I’m sure that she will work out what I’m trying to do… I’ll have to work it out as quickly as I can to get it done… I know that when I finish, it really be fun!

“Talk Operated Machine is what I make then… A super little robot that can be like a friend… Talk Operated Machine, I’ll call it Tom then… T O M… T O M…” Time then started mutter to himself excitedly.

Cipher chuckled and left, he looked forward the meeting the little robot, hopefully an improvement on Time’s first attempt, the Knight of the Field still stood in Windy Miller’s garden.

Cipher got the cart rolling again and travelled along the road to the Retirement Home. He got out and went inside, he asked the receptionist where Chelsea Porcelain lived and she directed him to her room. He knocked and entered “Hello? Any-pony at home?”

Chelsea walked from her small study area into the room with a book on her back “Oh, Cipher, I’m glad to see you. I’ve just been sorting out some old stuff and there’s this dairy, come and have a look.” She walked to a table and put the diary on as, she smiled as Cipher approached “Oh, it takes me back seeing these old pages, my uncle Wilfred Porcelain’s very words just as he wrote them all that long time ago,” she started to talk about her uncle.

Cipher meanwhile opened the dairy and filed through a few pages, not actually reading the pages but more checking the amount of content “I’ve never seen anything like it. Do you think I could borrow it, so Miss Cheerilee can make a few notes for when she shows ponies around Kimblewick Hall?”

“Well,” Chelsea said adjusting her spectacles “I can make it out with my glasses now so you might as well take it, don’t forget to bring it back.”

Cipher nodded and held it carefully in his magic “I’ll take great care of it, I promise.”

“Bye Cipher.” Chelsea called as he opened the door, he looked back and nodded “Bye.” And he shut the door. He made his way through the retirement home, out the gate and back to the cart. He gave the dairy to Riolu “Take good care of it.”, the Jakhowl saluted. Cipher started the cart up and flicked the reins to get it rolling, with the dairy and his letters delivered he now needed to get to Kimblewick Hall, Miss Cheerilee would be waiting for him. He followed the road towards Sweet Apple Arches, stopped at a junction, looked both ways before turned to the left.

He turned into the circular driveway of the hall, and parked the cart next to the Troop Transport Truck for the Home Guard, he looked the Riolu and saw the Jakhowl decided to get some sleep. Cipher climbed down and glanced at the Troop Transport before going to the front door.

The Major stood in the doorway as Cipher approached “Come along Cipher,” he said, “I see you’ve got the dairy, Miss Cheerilee’s waiting for you.” They entered the house and the Major quickly escorted Cipher into the dining room, Cipher asked “Where’s Porter?”

“He’s caught a cold, so he’s quarantined in his chamber for the time being, it’s a good thing we have a dummy butler system to the rooms, whoever built this house really liked privacy.”

Cipher entered the dining room and found Cheerilee sitting at the table with a clipboard and some older papers. She looked up and smiled “Ah, there you are Cipher, you made it in good time,” she looked down “And the diary, well done.”, Cipher gave her the dairy and she opened the first page and mutter “Now let me see, there must be something here.”

Cipher waited, then he heard metallic sound, like a mix of a thump and a clunk. He looked back.

Time Turner and the Major walked in, the suit of armour in it various pieces stacked on the doctor’s back “Where do I put this stuff Major?”, the Major pointed “Over there by the fireplace Doctor Turner.”, Time walked over, then stumbled and the suit fell off his back and onto the floor and a monstrous racket “Makes a real clatter, doesn’t it?”

Cheerilee held her ears and shut her eyes grimacing “How can I write the history of Kimblewick Hall with this racket going on?”

The Major waved his hoof and spoke “Come and sit in library Miss Cheerilee, you’ll find it nice and peaceful in there.”, the teacher nodded, gathered her thing and followed the Major out of the room, “Thank you Major, very kind of you.” She said, she looked down the corridor one way and then turned to walked down the other way.

Cipher turned to Time Turner, who for some reason started putting the armour one. First the gantlets for his right foreleg, then he picked up few other pieces and looked at them like a foal working out a jigsaw puzzle, he picked up the part for his right hind leg and strapped it to it “Just about me size. Let’s see now.” He picked up the front chest plate and held it to his torso.

Cipher chuckled “I’d better leave you to it Time. I need to get home. Bye.” He left the dining room and slowly walked about the corridor. He looked at the paintings on display, one caught his interest, the signature said, ‘Vincent van Colt.’, a renowned artist today, but in his lifetime, as an early citizen of Ponyville living on the outskirts, viewed as a mad stallion with little skill, now viewed as one of the most influential artists having helped lay the foundations of modern art.

The painting in question didn’t show up on any artist catalogue about Van Colt, it looks an original. It featured Princess Celestia, looking up at a swirling night sky with bright yellow stars, and a white glowing moon with the Mare in the Moon, now gone from the moon after Luna’s return. Celestia stood on a hill overlooking the village Ponyville used to be. Cipher narrowed his eyes at the expression on Celestia’s face, it looked sorrowful, he could just make out the tiny silver spot of a tear down the Princess’s cheek.

Cipher wondered why no-pony knew of this painting, either whoever own the Hall before the Major never gave it to be looked at, or a forgery, he would need to speak with the Major about this, but he could do it another day, he wanted to get home, and then spend the rest of the day with Fluttershy.

He opened the next door and walked into the entrance hall. The grandfather clock struck one as Cipher passed it and reached for the door.

“Is that you Cipher?” Cheerilee called from the library she walked out and looked worried.

“Um,” Cipher said turning back to her “I was just on my way out Cheerilee, on my way home.”, she nodded but spoke looking back at the library “I want to show you something.” And she went back into the library, Cipher followed confused “Something wrong?”

He walked into the room and glanced to his side, in the cabinet sat the Major’s collection of tin soldiers. He then looked about the room, itself a few shelves but very small compared to other libraries and much like the top room in the schoolhouse pieces of paper laid everywhere in a haphazard fashion.

Cheerilee stood at the desk with the open diary “Cipher, what am I going to do? Look at this diary.”

“What’s wrong with it Cheerilee?”

“What’s wrong Cipher? There’s not a thing in them I can put down in my story of Kimblewick Hall, the entries are just boring.”, Cipher wondering what Cheerilee could mean picked up the diary and read it “It was a nice day today. Went fishing, caught three trout. Went to bed early.” He put the book down “Well I see you mean, nothing historical about that.”

“Historical Cipher?” Cheerilee said rubbing her temple “It’s making me feel hysterical!”, she grabbed her clipboard from earlier the pages utterly blank “I haven’t a single note on my paper, not one thing. The diary doesn’t give out a single legible name, only referring to the ‘Master of the House’, ‘The Master’s son’, but he disappears near the end, ‘Our Guest’ and the ‘Builders’, it would be interesting if we knew who they were, the Master might be the pony who first owned and built the house, that guest could be any-pony, could be some-pony important, but we don’t know who.”

Cipher blinked, he’d never seen Cheerilee like this before, she could get stern to her students from time to time, but she always remained cheerful, here she looked about ready to rip her mane off.

Time Turner crashed into the door of the dining room, he walked about reared up, stiff and off-balance whiles stuck in the suit of armour, he called out with an echoed voice “Help Cipher! Get me out of this I’m stuck! Get your tin opener! I can’t see where…” he leaned to the side, but the rigidness of the armour caused him to stop.

He went back onto all fours. Reached up to the visor and tried to lift it, but it wouldn’t move “You can’t leave me like this. Great Whickering Stallions I’ve gotten myself into a pickle.” He turned around and started walking forward. The suit clattered and groaned with a load squeak.

“Are you still here Cipher? This armour’s a bit stiff.” He crashed into the table. Fell forward onto it. The weight made it tip. Table, chairs and armoured pony tumbled to the floor in a cacophony of wooden and metallic clatters.

Slowly and stiffly Time Turner got up and saw a door through the tiny eye slits and went to it. A back door to the outside.

Cipher managed to calm Cheerilee down. She sat at the window while the Changeling flew about the top shelves looking for any possible book or journal on the history of the Hall. But with little success. He landed and sighed, he sat down beside the desk at took hold of the diary, at the very least it seemed amusing to him.

Cheerilee looked out the window trying to think when this loud noise took her attention and she tried to get a view of where this anomaly came from. Her eyes widened “Cipher, come and look at this.”, Cipher looked up, shut diary, put it back on the desk and came up alongside to Cheerilee, she pointed “There’s some monster going straight through the flowerbeds in a suit of armour.”, Cipher peered over her “You’re right, a suit of armour.” He chuckled “And I think I know who’s in it.” He turned around and walked out the door to get the Major.

Outside, slowly and groaning, Time Turner clacked and trudged stiffly on. He didn’t notice the flowerbed he trampled over.

“Oh, my back.” He groaned. He turned around sharply “Where am I?” He asked before stumbling forward “Get me the Fire Brigade! What’s this in front of me?” he walked head first into a tree and tumbled down a small hillock.

The Major and Cipher walked into the garden, the Major turned confused to the Changeling “Did you say, my suit of armour? Out here? In the flowerbeds parading about?”

Cipher looked about “Yes Major, it was…”

“It should be in the dining hall.”

“I know Major,” he pointed with his hoof “Look at your flowers.”, the Major turned to the flattened flowers in the middle of the garden as Cipher continued “All crushed and spoilt.”

“Badges, foxes and rabbits.” The Major suggested assuredly “No stopping the blighters, that’s what it is. The only reason I don’t kill them is out of fear of Miss Fluttershy’s Stare.”, Cipher nodded having seen Fluttershy do it once or twice, he hoped to never be on the receiving end of it.

Suddenly a load clattering sounded and Cipher looked about “Sounds more like an elephant Major.”

The Major narrowed his eyes confused as well “A whole heard of them if you ask me Cipher.”

From the library window Cheerilee waved like mad and pointed further into the Hall. Cipher turned to the Major as they stared at her “I think it’s gone back inside. Come along Major.” The went back to the front door and looked about the entrance hall “Which way?” Cipher asked as the Major entered “This way followed me.” He said heading quickly for the dining hall “Charge!” he called.

Back in the dining hall Time Turner tried to lift the visor up again. He stood very close to the door.

It opened and the Major walked in hearing a clattering noise, he frowned and looked about “Where is it? Dash, the fellow disappeared again.”

Cipher walked in “I’m sure I heard something in here.”

“But the suit of armour,” the Major said, “it’s gone!”

A loud crash sounded from behind them. The jumped and turned around, Cipher looked to the door “Sound as if you’ve got mice Major,” he chuckled “big metal ones.” He pressed his ear to the door and heard the noises from behind it and a voice shouted, “If only I could see where I was going!”, Cipher pulled the door away and found a square hole in the wall, the wooden panel turned inward revealed hinged “A door,” Cipher said and he walked in “and a secret passage.” He walked further in.

The Major stepped closer as Cheerilee walked into the dining room. They heard Cipher’s voice, he seemed vert jovial “Hello suit of armour. Let’s get that helmet off.”

The clattering came closer. From out of the secret door came Time Turner, now with the helmet off and on his back, he looked very embarrassed “Hello every-pony. Great Whickering Stallions I’m glad to get this helmet off. I got stuck, could see a thing.” He clanked out the doorway and to the corner to get out of the armour.

Cipher voice echoed from the passage “It’s so dark in here. Worse than the hive. What’s this?”, Cipher then came out with an old file filled with parchment. “I found this in the secret passage Major.”

The Major turned to Cheerilee “Might be something you could use Miss Cheerilee.”

“Let me have a look.”, she took the file, see the table and chair scattered about she turned to the others “Let’s go into the library.”, they nodded and followed.

Cheerilee, sitting at the desk, untied the ribbon keeping the file close and filed through it “Old papers.” She lifted one “A letter. To whomever find this file, this is a documented time capsule of sorts to tell the generations of the future the history of this hall, before I lose it.” She looked through the letter and her eyes “By Celestia, this is just what I needed.” She looked up to the two “Kimblewick Hall was built as a hunting lodge, for Big Game Hunter WDM Bell, so he could research the Everfree Forest, the house was still being built when he died. His youngest son inherited the house because he spent most his time here, he didn’t hunter and spent most of his time in his room, but he died young not long after the house was complete with no-pony to inherit it.”

The Major sniffed “Well that explains why it was abandoned and for the dummy waiters. What else is there.”

“Well,” Cheerilee said, then read the letter and grinned “Vincent van Colt lived her as a guest of Mr Bell.”, the stallions stared, the Major’s mouth bobbed and Cipher spoke “You mean the Van Colt in the corridor could be one he painted here?”

Cheerilee blinked and looked to the Major “You have a Van Colt here?”, the Major nodded and rushed out, he returned carefully handling the painted.

Cheerilee took it and blinked “Wait a minute.” She grabbed he diary and filed through the pages to one “Before turning in saw our guest outside painting the night sky.” She blinked and looked up at the two then two the papers and smiled “This is just the stuff I needed, and at the last minutes too.” She turned to the diary “And now this diary may prove more useful now we have the names, thank Celestia for our luck. You never know what skeletons there might be in an old cupboard.”

The Major cleared his throat “Well yes, very interesting, I think this calls for a cup of tea.” They all agreed.

Deep Below Canterlot

Lyra got out of the coach, back in Canterlot.

Not a week since Twilight and Flash’s wedding, but where she went there as a guest, well now she visited on a mission. In her saddlebag, her prized possession. The book from the Trottingham Library.

She did some small progress on the book as its translation, she found the names of figures and words she knew, like Human, hands, and such, she did work out a got chuck of the language, syllabic, meaning a phonetic writing system consisting of symbols representing syllables. A syllable is often made up of a consonant plus a vowel or a single vowel.

So, this meant she needed to determine not only one possible letter for each character, like in the Equestrian Alphabet, but a pair of one consonant and one vowel, she also needed to determine what these consonants and vowel were, if they matched Equestrian or any ancient pony language, or perhaps a modern one not commonly heard, like Saddle Arabic or Stalliongradian, or the language of the east as reported by Macro Pommel.

But before this, she needed to get a better understanding of the stories, before she could try a translation. And to do this she needed to look for any book, in any library with any information she could use. She already exhausted all the books in the Castle of Friendship, and while Twilight did like the company of an old friend, she even showed Lyra the mirror portal into the other dimension where humans existed and got into a written conversation with Sunset Shimmer. Lyra wished she could someday talk with her human counterpart, did she have an interest in Equestria and its ponies as much as she did with human? If so the hours they could spend just sharing information.

But, as for the reason she went to Canterlot, her father found the story in a book in the Canterlot library with some information which could help her.

Her father, Nelson Shrouds, worked for the Royal Navy, he first learnt about a mythical island continent with a race of bipedal creatures while severing on the high seas. Later he received a desk job and while browsing the library found a little more info on the legend as well as a link to the story of a great maritime disaster befalling one of the greatest figures in Equestrian maritime history.

Initial she didn’t want to research the navy, mostly because her father never stopped going on about the Navy, his toils and struggles in stormy nights against smugglers and pirates. His experiments in projectiles. She got sick of hearing about the never all the time growing up, she sometimes stopped him midsentence by speaking outload what he would about to say, having heard it half-a-million times already, it made her wonder if Bon-Bon felt the same way about her and her constant interest in humans, she did have the feeling of yes.

But her interest could help with formulate a much better ancient history of Equus. And being fair, her father’s work in the Navy did help improve it greatly.

Before Nelson and his colleagues came along the battleships of the Navy used crossbows to fire heavy spears like highspeed battering rams. Nelson and his colleagues developed fireworks munitions. Fired correctly they could see a set of sails on fire, and in fact set the enemy ship on fire.

Initially the Navy rejected to plans for being potential threat. All this red tape, he used to say, kept the Royal Navy stuck in the rut if made for itself, not advancement, troublesome when pirates managed to build their own weapons.

After receiving his desk job, and starting his family, Nelson moved up the ranks and made it to the head table of the Naval command, a Vice-Admiral of the Fleet, thus with the authority he could restart the munitions plans and get them approved, almost overnight the pirate problems more than halved, but as pirates got craftier, so did Nelson, he developed the Naval Surveillance and Espionage Corps to infiltrate, obverse and cause sabotage if need be.

On a side note when Lyra said she entered a relationship with Bon-Bon, or rather Secret Agent Sweetie Drops, her father told her a secret, to start the NSEC he worked with both the Third Regiment of Hoof, due to their history with the Commandos and the secret agency Sweetie used to work for, he’d even met her once or twice at meeting, and the pair of mares’ relation, while unorthodox, he approved.

Lyra would want to talk with Bon-Bon when she got back, how many secrets did she keep? Right now, she focused on finding the book her father referred to as holding required secrets. She took out a load of book on maritime disasters and look at the indexes of great figures, she decided to look at pre-naval history, since her father insistently said maritime, not naval, so a disaster happened over two-hundred and fifty years ago, and presumably the older the better. She found a couple of great figures but only one matched her father’s brief discussion.

Other disasters included one of the greatest shipwrecks, the Medusa, captained by Vis-countess Castlemane, a mare with previous maritime experience, but not actually been to sea for twenty prior to her appointment, she and her crew went on a trading port in Saddle Arabia along with several ponies wishing to make a new life in the exotic country. However, Castlemane misjudged the maps and sailed the most direct route, dangerously close to the shore, where there were many sandbars and reefs, a month into the voyage the ship ran aground, and the weather conditions made it impossible to re-float her.

Plans were proposed to use the ship’s launches to ferry the passengers and crew to the shore, about 30 miles away, which would have taken two boat trips. Instead a raft got built, hastily and poorly with not steering, Castlemane and her crew got into the launches and would tow the raft with the passengers to shore. But, the crew of the boats soon realised towing the raft proved impractical and began to fear being overwhelmed by the desperate survivors on the raft. They decided to cut the ropes, leaving the raft and its occupants to their fate.

Stormy weather threatened, and only the centre of the raft was secure. Dozens died either in fighting to get to the centre, or because they got washed overboard by the waves. Rations dwindled rapidly; by the fourth day only sixty-seven remained alive on the raft when they were picked up and brought to the very port they initially wanted to go to.

When news reached Equestria it became a scandal. Castlemane and her crew got ordered back for trial, conducted be Princess Celestia herself, found guilty of incompetent and complacent navigation and of abandoning the Medusa before all her passengers left the ship, and abandoning the raft, life imprisonment, minimum of ten years, maximum of twenty. And Castlemane got striped of her titles and since being without children and an only child the Viscount Castlemane became extinct, the lands belong to it became property of Princess Celestia, as per the rules of Equestrian nobility, all extinct titles revert to the ruling monarch.

Lyra got side-tracked by this story but found the one her father talked about.

The book read ‘Sir Bold Star of Sagittarius Hall, the last captain of the ill-fated Alicorn. The ship left Bridle City Port in the year 676 of Celestia’s Reign to explore the waters and possible lands west of the South Luna Ocean. Possibly to find an alternative route of the legendary east settlements, such as the rumoured Stalliongrad and the lands spoken by Meadowbrook and Macro Pommel, without going through the contested Griffon and Dragon Lands, and the hazardous Bug Beat Territory. Others theorise the voyage was also to find any possible evidence the mythological island continent and, or city state of Metropolis and, or Utopia, sometime referred to as Paradise Lost.

‘The last voyage of the Alicorn has become one of the most ruinous and infamous journeys in maritime history. Ship never returned, attacked by pirates, all hooves lost expect for one survivor. When Sir Bold was rescued, after being stranded on an island for almost two years, and returned home, where he was convinced his name had been cursed.

‘The manifest Alicorn stated it was empty of cargo and Sir Bold kept up this claim. But, it has been long claimed the ship carried a secret cargo.’

Lyra narrowed her eyes at this, filing it away as something to ask her father she turned the page.

‘Historians have tried and failed to discover what happened on that fatal voyage. What the crew might have discovered. But Sir Bold’s last words “Only a true Star will discover the secret of the Alicorn.” To this day no descendent of the Marine Knight has ever decided to venture out and discover the secret, possibly out of the belief of the curse upon their name. Princess Celestia herself has banned any such endeavour to do so without a Star leading the voyage. So, the secret will remain hidden until a time when hearts and minds changed and courage, not fear with motivate a Star once more.’

Lyra shut the book, while it did give her three possible names to the island of her childhood dreams, her mind currently focused on this secret. Could the Alicorn have found the island of Metropolis, Utopia or Paradise Lost? And did the pirates stop them before they could return with evidence? It would be something to consider in the future.

She then tapped her hoof on her chin “Star? Star? Why does that name sound familiar?” She took out a notebook and wrote down her findings.

A noise came from behind her. She looked around. Nothing. So, she shut the book and put it back into place. As she put the other back she glanced up, and jumped back.

A pair of glowing yellow eyes stared at her, they widened and disappeared. Lyra turned to where they went and saw a shadow of a pony, without a figure travel down the edge of the shelves. She gulped and followed, she could sense unusual magic coming off the thing, not dark magic, just nothing she ever came across before. She ran to keep up.

The shadow slide onto the floor. Lyra made out the billowing of a hooded cloak. Her eyes widened ‘Is this the Pony of Shadow?’, why in Canterlot? The myth said it roamed the ruined Castle of the Two Sisters.

The shadow turned and Lyra saw the shape of a horn, a Unicorn, and the more angular muzzle suggested a stallion. The shadow disappeared under a wall. Lyra stopped and peered down, a small, almost unnoticeable gap between the wall’s bottom and the floor, she then traced the gap into the masonry up long the wall. A secret door.

Now Lyra began to wonder about the history of Canterlot. The capital of Equestria used to the be the royal capital of the Unicorn Kingdom, but not the largest city, Whinnychester, seen for several centuries by the Unicorns as the de facto capital, and by the Pegasi during their occupation two-thousand years before, Whinnychester got destroyed after a failed rebellion. After the Pegasi Empire, no real name for it existed, collapsed, Canterlot become the capital of the Unicorn Kingdom, the home of King Bullion, father of Princess Platinum, one of the Founders of Equestria. Platinum in her own castle during the Great Winter.

The Unicorn Monarchy in Equestria soon became defunct with the coronations of Princess Celestia and Luna, in fact, little record of the Unicorn Royal Family the House of Rare Metal, name after its founder, disappeared in a few generation. Quite why no-pony knew, one of the great mysterious of Equestria, how the family of one its founders disappeared without a trace.

Canterlot being an ancient city, it constant got destroyed and rebuilt, so perhaps the older areas, and the secret passageways just ended up forgotten. Now the cliché of secret passageway is the book on a self, and Lyra currently stood in a library, hidden in plain sight. The next part to figure out his which book, if any.

Now the most obvious place to put it would be easily in reach, but, then whoever made the door would think of this so they would probably put it one shelf above or below the most accessible shelves, Lyra then paused, what if they thought of a double bluff? So, she started from the top down.

After about five minutes, she really needed to get a watch, in fact, what time was it? She looked about and found here area of the library empty, and she looked out a nearby window, catching the moon just raising, her eyes widened “How long have I been here?” she exclaimed, as quietly as she could. The old librarian here really did like peace and quiet, indeed the extension of the library took so long, because whenever the carpenter hammered in the nail every-pony shushed him.

Not seeing where her hoof went it touched a book and something clicked. Then another thing clacked and clattered. Lyra, drawn by the sounds turned around and found the secret door opening. She gulped, she didn’t know what would happened, but it she didn’t go in now she may never know, and she loved a good mystery. Maybe because of this, she found herself drawn to Bon-Bon, after she revealed herself and Lyra calmed down she found the mystery behind her friend quite appealing, and it would be her to bring out the answers.

The secret door opened to a fleet of stairs. She put on hoof on the step, then another, she braced herself as he placed her back hooves on the step. A momentary shudder and she sighed in relief. Gingerly still, she made her way down the stairs, winds blew passed her. A loud slam. The corridor went black. Lyra charged her horn for an illumination spell and looked back. No way back for now, only one way to go.

As she continued down, she felt forces against her. She heard whispers in the wind. She felt unnerved, but continued. The unusual magical presence grew the further went down, she knew she must be getting closer to the Pony of Shadows. She felt something under her hoof. She looked down. A scarlet thread and a gold rope travelled along the steps and continued up the way she came. She smelt incense and her heart started beating faster, her mind started wandering and wondering, she shook herself, it felt as if her very being tried to cleanse itself. She set her goal on reaching the bottom.

She did however look back up at the stairs again, she felt like she’d travelled her about a mile, and yet she didn’t feel colder as she must’ve entered the inside of Mount Canter, nor did she fell warming getting closer to the centre of the world.

Lyra began looking from left to right at the walls of her descending passageway. Filled with symbol she never saw before in her life, and she knew could never interpret even in her wildest dreams. In fact, the closer she looked at the symbol the more they seemed to shift and differ from what see originally saw, and indeed, fade into nothing but wall, trying to work out the out made her eyes hurt.

The bare stone gave way to panels of wood, it looked a lot like the wood of some of the oldest buildings in Ponyville, per sources the early citizen of the town used wood cut from the Everfree Forest, leading to quick getaways when Timberwolves arrived. Even after a hundred years the wood did not rot, and given the history of Canterlot, these panels must be far older, and yet they looked a to be in good quality, in fact, better than some of the types of wood readily available in shops today. Of course, she would suggest chopping the forest down, it would be suicidal given what lived there.

Yes, the restored Tree of Harmony meant a calmer Everfree Forest, Fluttershy stated she once searched the whole of it looking for Pinkie Pie, but given her position and being an Element barrier perhaps the forest gave her a free pass. So, you couldn’t be sure with the forest as it is.

The forces pushing her continued and grew, she slowed as she felt it, the winds became fiercer, the magical presence became more chaotic. Lyra felt more nervous, but she knew she needed to press on, she didn’t know if she could go back the way she came, plus if she did discover the Pony of Shadow, she needed to know what threat it might have on Canterlot.

Thinking about the Pony of Shadows she suddenly looked about act the dark areas of walls, not easy when her illumination spell literally brought light into the matter. But she realised the shadow pony could be anywhere, she kept a look out for those glowing yellow eyes and the hooded cloak.

Thunder crashed. Lyra jumped. Light flashed. She squinted and looked ahead. A small storm cloud hung over a closed down. Lyra took a step forward. The lightning cracked. And hit the floor before the door at the bottom of the stairs.

On the floor appeared a bunch of letters, ancient Unicorn, abandoned after the invention of the modern Equestrian alphabet, based on Pony Latin. Ancient Unicorn, straight uniform, virtually no curves, written as if in blocks. Some letters repeated but with other markings like a group of dots or a line, and sometimes a combination.

Lyra looked at it confused ‘Secret passageways, powerful forces, voice in the wind, mini storm clouds, floor with ancient letters, this is like Daring Do meets the Silver Enlightenment.’ Lyra never once read the Holy Books, but a classmate in the School for Gifted Unicorns, Minuette, used to lecture her on the powers of God, a lot of what she just witnessed match the powers as seen in the Old Testament.

But how did the Pony of Shadows get passed this? Surely if what Minuette said about her God, he, or whatever this god happened to be, should have seen the shadow pony. Still she needed to get across. Too wide to jump. So far, she seemed to be within a Daring Do novel, so most like she would next to step across a certain number of these letters to make a word. But what word? In one of Miss Yearling’s novels it would probably be a name.

Lyra blinked “A name, the name of God.” If she understood Minuette correctly there were three aspects of God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. She looked at the letters on the floor, they wouldn’t make Silver Light, so it must be the name of the Father, Minuette said no one knew the true name, but the Father carried a title, the name he used when he spoke to the Patriarch, supposedly the common ancestry of the Unicorns, indeed they took their race name, Unicorn from the Patriarch’s grandson, to whom God also used this title or name, the word Elohim.

Lyra looked at the letters of ancient Unicorn, she didn’t know a lot about the old written dialect of Unicorns, but Minuette did make her spell out Elohim in the language, much to her own annoyance. First, she needed to find the letter, Alpha.

Alpha in ancient Unicorn is different from Alpha in Pegasolopitan. In ancient Unicorn, it is merely a long vowel maker, used for pronunciation, such as the A in mate, or the I in twine. So, since Elohim started with a long E she needed an Alpha, and if she remembered she needed to small dots above the letter, as vowels are written over the consonant which follows them, and it being the last letter of the word under the letter before it.

The letters were spaced out, generally, in a grid of five across and roughly ten down. She the Alpha with the two dots, on the stone second across, three up. Just large enough for her the stand on. The letter Lambda for L next, she found it one row ahead and in the fifth column. She looked for an H, Heta with the markings for an O, something which looked like a tiny capital T, three up, the seventh row. One final letter, Mu with a single dot for a short I, on the fourth column, on the ninth row. However, too small for her to stand on all fourth. She reared up. Leaped. Her right hoof just hit the back edge, almost touching the letter behind it. She sighed with relief and she jumped to the door. The door opened.

Lyra walked into the next room. A prefect cube of 20 feet in length, width and height. The room shone with golden panels, Lyra let her spell go and looked for the score of light, a small window near the top, letting in the light of the moon.

The most immediate feature, a tree growing in the centre, not an unusual tree, just a tree. The distinguishing feature, a deep cut, as some-pony put a long blade into it.

“So, thou have arrived.” Said a baritone voice. Lyra turned around.

Sitting in a corner of the room the hooded figure poured out some tea “Please, refresh thyself, this Ruthenium is dined such pleasure in one’s current state.”

Lyra blinked with tilted head and a raised eyebrow, the figure, named Ruthenium she assumed spoke as weirdly as Princess Luna when she came for the Nightmare Night after her restoration from Nightmare Moon. She did feel thirsty so she walked up and took the cup, she glanced up the hood and noted what little of figure she could see.

As before, a male Unicorn. Dark coat, his neat mane and tail, black with cobalt blue streaks. His eyes, while mainly a greyish sap green carried the glowing amber around the edges. His cloak also looked refined, a rich red with ermine around the edges.

Lyra suddenly dropped her tea. The light amber magic caught it before it either spilt or splashed “Do try to back careful, it is hard for this Ruthenium to create fine ceramics in one’s present state.”

Lyra simply back up “But, your, you look like, Twilight…”

Ruthenium sighed “Thou are correct, for a time, this Ruthenium was, and is known as Sombra.”

Lyra back up to the tree. Out of the crack in the trunk an arm of magic, black engulfed in a vivid violet haze with a light brilliant green edge. It turned to Lyra underneath it and lowered itself.

From the table, Ruthenium’s eyes widened. His horn charged.

A shield above Lyra in the light amber magic. On the shield a glowing box, above the box a crown. Lyra glanced up and her eyes widened. The box, rectangular, with rings at the corners and staff through then, on the lid two human-like creatures, she could make out the head, but their bodies concealed by a pair of wings extended out along the length of the top. The crown, a simple band, with three visible vertical stalks with three circles at the top arranged like a clover. One face directly forward, the other two visible from their sides.

The black magic smacked against the shield and dissipated.

Ruthenium stood up and walked towards the shield his eyes glowing like his magic “Be gone, then, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” He moved his head and with the tip of his horn made the sign of the cross “Give place to the Holy Spirit by this sign of the holy cross,” he made the sign again “of our Lord Silver Light, who lives and reigns with the Father and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever.”

The shield brightened further and the black magic disappeared in fire. The crack in the trunk smouldered with ash inside.

Ruthenium held his head up high “Amen.”

Lyra blinked “Sombra, Silver Enlightened?”, Ruthenium nodded and returned to his chair and table “This Ruthenium should explain.”, Lyra gingerly joined him, her eyes narrowed in thought “Wasn’t that crown the symbol of the House of Rare Metal, the Unicorn Royal Family?”

Ruthenium nodded “This Ruthenium was the last member, thou would be most familiar with this Ruthenium’s grandmother.”, Lyra looked down and tapped her hoof to her chin “The only Unicorn Royal I can think of is,” she blinked and looked up “Princess Platinum!”, Ruthenium simply nodded.

“But, that would mean, you were.”

“Born here in Canterlot? Yes, did thou assume this Ruthenium originated in the Crystal Empire, a nation predominantly populated by a variety of Earth Ponies?”, she blinked “Well, know you say that, I suppose not. But,”

“Yes?”

“How you did, a Prince of the Unicorn Kingdom…”, Ruthenium held up a hoof “By the time this Ruthenium was born, the Kingdom had joined Equestria and bowed to the authority of Princesses Celestia and Luna.”

“No need to be pedantic. Just, I’d like to know how some-pony, like you, Silver Enlightened became the monster known as King Sombra?”

Ruthenium sighed and looked down “This Ruthenium was corrupted.”

“By black magic?”

“By the one all black magic originates from.” He glanced around the room “Does thou know what this room is?”

“No, but it must be important.”

“This is room is what thee would call the Holy of Hollies.”

Lyra’s eyes widened “Minuette said…”

“No-pony but the High Mages may enter?”

“Yes.”

“Not since Silver Light. Baptism cleanses the soul, the piece of God within us all. Giving us the power to enter.”

“But,” Lyra said, “I’m not baptised.”, Ruthenium turned to the door “Then thou must have unlocked the inner sanctuary.”, Lyra turned to look as well “That floor thing was a lock?”

“Only the High Mages knew the name Elohim. Silver Light revealed it to his disciples and thus they passed it on in their letters. But that is beside the point. This Ruthenium has a tale to tell.”

Lyra held up her hoof “Can you stop calling yourself “This Ruthenium”, makes you sound more egotistical than Prince Blueblood.”

“Apologises, this, one was raised to say such, like Princess Luna and the Royal We, it was the way the Unicorn Kings and Queens spoke since the time of Rare Metal. But one’s story is most tragic. This one went searching in the castle, with no Kingdom to rule the House of Rare Metal simply became a ceremonial group, no power and thus a lot of free time. This one discovered the Holy of Hollies, much in the manner thou did, and one discovered the tree.” He glanced to it “Within the tree was a black scythe, it called to this one, and I believe it read in Ancient Unicorn, ‘Whoso pulls this weapon of this sacred tree in this most holy place of God, is right-wise King of’”

“King of what?”

“This one could not tell what it said. But this one now knows it was a trick. This one grew up with the legends of one’s great-grandfather King Bullion, how he pulled his sword from a stone and anvil to become King born of Canterlot. When this one pulled the scythe from the tree a great wave of black magic consumed and trapped this one. Mind no long in command of body,” he gritted his teeth “a demon possessed me.”

“That was Sombra?”

“As thou said, a monster. Sombra transformed this one, animated one’s body. Fled to the Crystal Empire used his dark magic to take over. Only the power of the Crystal Heart weakened him. Princesses Celestia and Luna in their fight with Sombra destroy this one’s body, but the black magic kept this one and Sombra tied.”

“But the Crystal Heart destroyed Sombra.”

“Thou are correct. But this one’s is now just a shadow of what this one used to be, but this one is not the Pony of Shadows, though this one is often confused as such. This one can only exist in places of powerful magic. Here in the Holy of Hollies now my home, where I pray for redemption, or in libraries and restaurants.

“Libraries and restaurants?”

“They have special features which cause them to act differently to the rest of the Universe. L-Space and bistro-maths, this one discovered these concepts while visiting far of places and time, beyond any ponies understand.”

L-Space is short for library space, and is a fantastic phenomenon. It has been said by many wise men, that ‘Knowledge is Power’, though such men usually had a lot of knowledge and very little actual power. Men in power tended to follow a different equation; ‘Power is Power’.

It has been said by certain other wise men, that ‘Power equals energy, equals matter, equals mass.’ And mass distorts space, and time. Equally, it is commonly known that knowledge resides, in a permanent, fixed form, in books.

The resulting L-Space is a pocketed, quantum dimension both superseding and superseded by the ‘true’ universe, as the common layman knows it. L-Space is present wherever an L-Field is being transmitted, say by a vast and uncountable number of books. A good bookshop is just a genteel black hole able to read.

Furthermore, as data (that is; knowledge) cannot be destroyed (for an idea cannot be killed once it has been created), it defies all laws of physics and entropy, and extends beyond the reach of both. Beyond the reach, even, of grey-cloaked beings who, for lack of a better word, delight in the slow, inexorable thudding of one electron into another, as the great wheel turns.

To travel through time personally, to see libraries under different skies, one needs the secrets. As this is a form of interdimensional and time travel, there are strict limits on its use, and the Librarians of Time and Space, those who have access to L-space, have developed three simple rules to ensure abuse is kept to a minimum: Rule one: Silence. Rule two: Books must be returned by the last date stamped. And rule three: Do not interfere with the nature of causality.

“This one would like to visit Stalliongrad, however their library is so small it could only make a portal in L-Space big enough for a mouse.”

Lyra’s head hurt and Ruthenium did not start on Bistro-maths yet, what kind of maths specifically came from a restaurant?

Bistro-maths is simply a revolutionary new way of understanding the behaviour of numbers. Just as Surround Stone observed time is not an absolute but depended on the observer's movement in space, and space is not an absolute, but depended on the observer's movement in time, it is now realised numbers are not absolute, but depended on the observer's movement in restaurants.

The first non-absolute number is the number of people for whom the table is reserved. This will vary during the first three telephone calls to the restaurant, and then bear no apparent relation to the number of people who turn up, or to the number of people who subsequently join them after the show/match/party/gig, or to the number of people who leave when they see who else has turned up. The second non-absolute number is the given time of arrival, which is now known to be one of those most bizarre of the mathematical concepts, a recipriversexcluson, a number whose existence can only be defined as being anything, other than itself. In other words, the given time of arrival is the one moment of time at which it is impossible that any member of the party will arrive.

Recipriversexclusons now play a vital part in many branches of maths, including statistics and accountancy and form the basic equations used to engineer the Somebody Else's Problem field. The third and most mysterious piece of non-absoluteness of all lies in the relationship between the number of items on the check, the cost of each item, the number of people at the table and what they are each prepared to pay for. (The number of people who brought any money is only a sub-phenomenon in this field.) The baffling discrepancies that used to occur at this point remained un-investigated for centuries simply because no one took them seriously. They were at the time put down to such things as politeness, rudeness, meanness, flashiness, tiredness, emotionality or the lateness of the hour, and completely forgotten about on the following morning. They were never tested under laboratory conditions, of course, because they never occurred in laboratories - not in reputable laboratories at least.

And so, only with the advent of pocket computers, something yet to be invented in Equestria, did the startling truth became finally apparent: Numbers written on restaurant checks within the confines of restaurants do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe. This single statement took the scientific world (which is far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy where there lies a small un-regarded yellow sun. The scientific world orbits this at roughly ninety-two million miles, an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.), by storm. It completely revolutionised it. So many mathematical conferences got held in such good restaurants many of the finest minds of a generation died of obesity and heart failure and the science of math got put back by years.

Lyra head hit the table hard. Ruthenium chuckled “Perhaps it is time thou returned to where thou began.”

Lyra jerked a wake at the table in the library. She looked around, silence, she then turned to the window to see the lower edge of the moon ‘It’s getting late. Mom and Dad will be worried.’ She paused and check her notes. The three possible names Metropolis, Utopia and Paradise Lost, and the name of the ship the Alicorn. She smiled and put her notebook back in her saddlebag.

She felt a pain in her head as she moved it, somehow, she got a migraine. She tried to think, something told her she should speak with Minuette about the Silver Enlightenment, another thought about the power of words and the weird numbers involved in restaurants. She shook herself ‘Must have been one weird dream, may be Bon-Bon was right, you might have been working too hard Lyra.’

Slowly she got up and walked away. Not noticing the shadow forming behind her and a pair of glowing amber eyes, and a small chuckled in the air.

Author's Note

L-Space and Bistro-maths come for the late greats of Sir Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams.

Round and Round Went the Big Wheel

In Canterlot, a meeting of leading Royal Guard Officers took place. These officers, the Captain of the Day Guard, Gift Thicket, a middle-aged Unicorn mare, the Captain of the Night Guard, Night Rain, a Bat Pony stallion, and Shining Armour. Since Flash and Twilight were still on their honeymoon both Dauntless Doo and Chrome Blade attended to represent the Everfree Guard. They sat around a table. Gift Thicket sat at the head, in front of her a cardboard box with ‘Secret’ in red letters.

The door to the meeting room opened and Sir Lionheart walked in. Every-pony in the room stood up, given the status of a Royal Knights, military terms, second only to the Princesses.

Lionheart nodded “Hello every-pony.” He looked to Gift “Alright Thicket, this is your show so I’m going allow you do all the talking.”

She nodded “Thank you Sir Lionheart.” She charged her horn and lifted from the box a small model. Two large wheels with a drum in-between “Well gentle-colts, this is it, the latest idea of the Corps of Royal Magisters. Contains two-thousand pounds of high explosives and will knock out an enemy pillbox no matter how thick in a range of three miles. It’s called the High Explosive Attack Device Propelled by Radio Frequency. Codename HE Ferris.” At the confusion of the others, she rolled her eyes and said, “As in High Explosive Ferris Wheel.”, the other then nodded.

Lionheart narrowed his eyes and asked, “You can home it onto a target with a radio?”

“Yes, allow me to show you.” She put a book before Sir Lionheart and pointed to it “We are here.” She then put a matchbox in front of the model “Enemy pillbox here.” With her magic, she moved the model “We can make it do whatever we want. Go around obstacles turn back on route. It reaches the target and presto! Up it goes.” She sat down with a pleased expression.

Lionheart nodded “Well I’m sorry myself and Captain Armour won’t be at the demonstration next week. Princess Celestia arranged a meeting with us to discuss the status of Captain Sentry now that he’s a Prince by marriage.”

Shining nodded and turned to Thicket “What about security? This thing will be red hot.”

“We’re not going to be using to regular test areas. There’s an abandoned area ten miles from Ponyville. The closest settlement is the so-called Rockville.”

Shining narrowed his eyes “That’s not far from the Pie Family Rock Farm.”, barring Dauntless and Chrome, every-pony turned to him, Shining remained stoic “That’s where Pinkie Pie came from, and her family lives there.”

Thicket nodded “I see, we’ll compensate them for any damages, if any.” She paused “I’m calling the test Operation Half’s Wheel, after the Silver Enlightenment legend of Lady Half, Captain Sentry suggested the name in our correspondence about the arrangements.”

Lionheart spoke up “You’ll need troops to seal off the area.”, Thicket nodded “We’ll be using a mix of Magisters, Signals, First and Fifth Hooves and the Everfree Guard.”

Lionheart turned to Dauntless and Chrome “But these two and their Padre are the only members of the EG, and what about the admin, the fatigues, cookhouse and who going to handle the, latrines?”

“I couldn’t get any pioneers spare so I plan to split the Everfree Guard Reserves into halves. They’ve recently expanded to thirty members, so fifteen will join the Magisters and the First and Fifth, and the other fifteen will do the fatigues.”

Chrome inhaled unsure “Major Fields is not going to like that.”, Dauntless held his head up high “I’ll talk to him, give him plenty of soft soap, butter him up, make him feel important. He definitely has the weakness of pomposity.”

Cold Steel stood before the platoon, a spear in his hoof. “Now every-pony, the Major is very busy so he’s asked me to give a lecture of spear practice, so I shall. Now, there’s no substitute for the spearhead, there is a phrase in the guard during my time “They don’t like it up them.”, I might have mention that to you before.”

Vigil spoke up and shook her head “Many times, many, many times.”

Lucky Clover next to her spoke up “You can say that again.”

Steel scowled “Silence in the ranks, I will not have speaking when I’m speaking.” He returned to address the platoon “Now, a very important item to remember, is to scream, that certainly puts the wind up the enemy and this is performed by taking a deep breath in the lungs,” he inhaled “and,” he wailed for about three seconds, the looked back at the slightly unnerved platoon “Right now, I want you all the scream, you deep breath… and… hold it!” he walked up to Waddle and Zecora standing near the end of the front rank “Now Padre you and Miss Zecora are non-combatant, I don’t think you should take part in this practice, why don’t you put the kettle on?”

“Oh,” Waddle said, “I’d like to remain Mr Steel, I’d rather like to do some screaming.”

Zecora nodded “I may not be a Zebra of combat, but I’d like to cry my people’s battle chant if you’re alright with that?”

“Oh, alright then.” He back up to his original place “Here we go every-pony. One big scream and…”, they all in haled.

Porter jumped from his chair as a deafening wailed came from the hall, include in it he made out Zecora call out “Usuthu!”, the Sergeant turned to the Major at the desk, seemingly unaffected as he worked on signing papers “What a terrible noise. What in Celestia’s name is going on out there?”

“Spear practice.” The Major answered.

“Oh, I see, can’t they do it just a little bit more quietly?”

The Major looked up annoyed “Of course that can’t do it quietly, this is action Porter, don’t you remember doing that in the Fifth?”

“Sir, remember I was a transfer from the Royal Corps of Signal, “Swift and Sure” was our motto, “Certa Cito”. While we did have spear training, we were trained to be silent, couldn’t let the enemy know where are communications equipment was set up. Screaming isn’t my style sir.”

The Major rolled his eyes “Even after all these years, sometimes I wonder what exactly is your style Porter.”

There came a knock on the outside door. Porter got up and opened it.

Cipher gave him a parcel “Late post for the Major.”

“Thank you Cipher.” He took it and nodded at the Changeling walked away. Porter looked at the label then gave it to the Major, “It’s from Illustrious Warrior and Gracious Son and Company, Hatters of Saddle Row.”

The Major brightened up “Oh, splendid, thank you Porter, I’ve been waiting for this.” He unwrapped the brown paper and pulled out the newly made peaked cap. He examined it, purple with a dark blue strap and the polished brass cap badge with Princess Twilight’s Crown and scroll work with the phrase in stranded Equestrian ‘Everfree Forever.’, admittedly quite a good motto for the Everfree Guard, he took off his now old Khaki cap and looked at the cap badge on it, the badge of the Fifth Regiment of Hoof.

A stylised grenade, firearms are a recent invention but due to their destructive capabilities are viewed as an absolute last resort, just a ball with a plume of fire from the top, and on the ball an image of the ancient Royal Knight, Sir Earth Worker, the first Earth Pony Royal Knight in his most famous act, slaying a Hydra. Around the image a circlet with the Pony Latin words ‘Quo Fata Vocant’, Sir Earth’s motto, ‘To Where Destiny Calls.’

The Major smiled and stood up, he went to the mirror and put the new cap on. He smiled with pride, his uniform complete. “What do you think of it?”

“What do I think of what?” Porter asked, his eyes focused on pair of papers. The Major glanced back and snapped “My hat of course!”, Porter quickly got out of the chair and spoke “Oh yes, of course,” he joined the Major’s side “Oh yes, indeed, I think it’s awfully nice.”

The Major rolled his eyes and walked back to the desk. He took his old cap off the pile of papers and walked to the door, he could just make out the wail of Caramel, probably going for a charge. The Major put the old hat on the door hook “You know Porter, that hat’s been with me for years, I don’t think I can get rid of it.”

A spearhead thrusted through the door. And through the old hat. Tip just above his head the Major grabbed the hat and pulled it off the spearhead and he shouted, “My hat!” He grabbed the knob of the door and tried to pull it. It wouldn’t move “Open this door at once!”

The spear went back through the door and the Major opened it. He stepped out fuming. He glared at Cold Steel, then to Caramel standing near the door clutching the spear. The rodeo clown gulped “Sorry Major,” he nodded to the stuffed effigy of a Timberwolf lying flat on the floor, Caramel continued “the dummy fell and I couldn’t stop myself in time.”

The Major sighed heavier and brought out his hat “I understand Caramel, but you,” then he looked to Cold Steel “and Steel are going to have to pay for the repairs to my office door, and my old cap.”, Caramel’s eyes widened “Look at the hole! Was you’re head in it?”

The Major groaned “Thankfully it wasn’t, however I’ve had this hat ever since I was a Lieutenant in the Fifth Hoof, it’s very important to me.”

“Sorry Major, I’ll pay you for the repairs don’t worry.”

“Make sure you don’t forget. And in future all Spear Drill shall be done outside.” He returned to the office, he almost slammed the door but because of the hole he stopped part way.

Getting back to the desk the Major sighed, put his old hat in one of the draws and put his new cap on, then he continued with his paperwork.

A knock came from the door, “Come in,” he called as Porter looked back.

The door opened and Dauntless Doo walked in. Porter smiled “Oh, good evening Mr Doo.”

Dauntless nodded and turned to the Major, who presently got out of his chair, Dauntless saluted “Good evening sir, Sergeant, I’ve got news from Canterlot.”

“Oh,” the Major said hopefully “you mean we’re going on a training exercise?”

Dauntless shook his head “No, we require the platoon’s services. I’d better explain,” he and the Major sat down as Porter moved to stand behind the Major. The full time Everfree Guard began explaining about Operation Half’s Wheel.

“…And that Major is a brief outline of the test. I don’t want to take up too much of your time, after all you are a very important pony.”

The Major smiled and closed his eyes and brushed off his collar “Oh, I wouldn’t say that I was all that important, would you Porter?”, Porter rolled his eyes and smirked before scratching the back of his neck “No, I don’t think so.”

Dauntless smirked then took a sharp breath and spoke “Well, Major, I’ve told you what the other sections of the EUP Guards are doing during the test, but I haven’t said what you’ll be doing, have I?”

“No,” the Major said, “but I’m very eager to learn.”

“Well to start off, half of the platoon, fifteen will be joining the other sections in guarding the perimeter, while the other half, I don’t know how to put this. You see, there are several things that have to be done, not very pleasant things, and I, that’s to say we,”

The Major held up his hoof “Say no more Doo, you’re trying to tell me that you want us for, special duties, aren’t you?”

Dauntless blinked “Special duties?” he then smiled “Yes, that’s it. I want you for special duties.”

The Major smirked and nodded “You can rely on us.”

Porter spoke up “What exactly are these special duties Dauntless?”, the full-time guard sighed and put his hoof to his forehead “I’d hoped you wouldn’t ask that Sergeant, you see, Captain Thicket couldn’t get any pioneers so…” He explained.

The Major sighed and slumped back in his chair “You could just have told us half of the platoon was need of fatigue duty, instead of worming your way around it. But this mean I must decide which members do it. Miss Zecora and the Padre are non-combatant so they’d have to do fatigues, but that still leave thirteen out of twenty-eight spare.”

“Excuse me sir,” Porter said, “but I have an idea.”

“Yes?”

“Well, when the first Foundling Hospital was opened three-hundred years ago, there was a huge demand from mothers wishing their foals to be taken in, the mothers couldn’t take care of them either being too young, too poor, or just ashamed of having a child out of wedlock. Such demand, that in the early days they had a ballot system, to decide which foals to take, the mother came with their children and put their hooves in a bag to take out a coloured ball, white meant the foal would be taken in, subject to a medical test, red, the child was put on a waiting list, black ball, they wouldn’t take the foal, pure chance. Maybe we should do the same, twenty-eight balls, fifteen white, thirteen black, whoever picks black is on fatigue duty.”

The Major nodded “Not a bad idea. We’ll do it asap.”

Dauntless nodded “I’m sure you’ll get it sorted out.” He got out of his chair “But remember Major, absolute secrecy.” He charged his horn and pulled out a list “Here’s a list of things to bring for the special duties.” He saluted and walked out.

The Major shook his head and muttered “Special duties.”

After getting the bag and the balls sorted out the two command ponies left the Stable Hall to the courtyard.

They turned a corner and too their surprise found Doctor Time Turner standing outside only next to the Troop Transport. The Major trotted up “Turner? Where’s the rest of the platoon?”

Time turned around, smiled and saluted, a whistle hung around his neck “Oh, they’re inside the Three T.” Three T being the nickname of the Everfree Guard Reserves Troop Transport Truck, the doctor continued “I had a thought, what happens if we’re attacked while on the moving in the Transport?”

“It’s possible,” the Major conceded “So you’re working on something to combat potential enemies?”

“Yes sir, now imagine the Truck is moving down the road.”

“Yes?”

Time turned back to the Three T “Okay, enemy on the left. Five rapid.” He blew the whistle.

The platoon called out the timings, “Open, two, three.” A group of slots on the left side of the truck opened. “Out, two, three.” Spears shot out of the slots, then they thrust the spear back and forth five times with the timings “Thrust, two, three.”

“In, two, three. Shut.”, they pulled the spears back in and closed the slots.

Porter chuckled, the Major hummed.

Time the called out another order “Enemy to the front. Five rapid.” He blew the whistle again.

Form the front, and around the enclosed cad area more slots opened and the spears came out a repeated the same actions. To the Major it looked intimidating.

“Areal enemy overhead. Five rapid.”, whistle blew.

The spears shot out of the roof. The Major hummed, it looked silly.

“Disembark.” Whistle.

The back doors opened and the thirty-strong force filled out in an orderly fashion. Filling into ranks and saluted.

Time Turner smiled turned back to the Major “There you are sir. What did you think?”, the Major remained silent for a moment before saying “You never cease to amaze me Doctor Turner. What do you think Porter?”

“Well, sir, I am rather keen, it’s just I have this sort of, I don’t know, difficulty in showing it.”, the Major nodded “Yes, I understand Porter.” He returned to the Platoon “I’ll simply say well done, some part could do with improvement, but, we certainly have a new edge against any potential threat.” He took a deep breath “Now then, Dauntless Doo has just been with news of a special top secret weapons test and the Platoon is required.”

The platoon’s eyes widened with excitement. The Major sniffed, and cleared his throat “Now I won’t beat around the bush with this, the task asked includes some unpleasant duties,” and he explained.

As expected a good chunk of the Platoon started grumbling. Then the Major spoke about the lottery, then he specifically dressed Zecora and Waddle. Neither of them mind Zecora saying “I do not mind performing such a task. Within reason I will do whatever you ask.”

Time Turner stood to attention “Can I be excused for going sir?”

“Why?”

“There’s an experimental radio broadcast, a friend from my old correspondence course is planning to set up something called the Everfree Broadcasting Company, and Discord’s made the first script, I’d like to listen.”

“That’s not a good reason to be excused Turner, so I’m afraid your request is denied.”

The lottery went on and at the end, the fatigue section included, Cold Steel, Lucky Clover, Time Turner and Vigil. And as an old solider and wanting to keep his good standing among his team the Major decided not to join the patrol section and stay the fatigue group. He did however give the patrol section the instruction, if the officer in commanded of the patrol given them orders which they cannot fulfil, or given them orders contradictory to those initial issued without authorisation, then they were to refer those officers to the Major.

In the cookhouse tent the Major slowly observed the section members asking if they needed anything.

The only one to really complain, Vigil roughly pealed the next potato, finishing she lobbed it into the water pot, and splashing Waddle, Time Turner and Lucky Clover. The Major glared at her “Anymore of that behaviour Vigil and I’ll swap you with one of the latrine attendants, you just lucky Zecora volunteered for it.” He then walked away.

Time nudged Lucky a whispered “Hey Lucky?”

“Yeah Doc?”

“I’m going to nip out in a minute, I’m going to listen to the Goon Show.”

“The what?”

“The Goon Show, it’s that radio broadcast I talked about. Discord’s written it and he’s preforming it with Cipher, they work,” he paused and made an unsure gesture with his hoof “together, you’d be surprised the voices Cipher can do. My friend Twin Ray, his dad Ray Signal invented the radio, is operator and announcers, I promised I’d listen in.”

“How can you? There’s no radio out here.”, Time smirked “That’s what you think. I brought my portal one with, hid in the back of the Three T.”, Lucky grinned “I’d like to listen, Discord’s nonsense would be much more enjoyable if not a part of it.”

“Major?” Cold Steel came in with a shovel on his back “I’ve received some unusual orders about what to do with the shovel.”, the Major frowned, hoping Cold Steel would keep his language clean.

Outside on the testing ground the officers of the Day Guard and Night Guard, the Corps of Royal Magisters and the Corps of Royal Signals, plus engineers of both sections prepared for the test of the HE Ferries.

The weapon itself, composed of two wooden wheels, ten feet in diameter with steel treads a foot-wide with sets of rockets attached to each wheel’s circumference, and both joined by a central drum fitted with the explosive payload.

After the final checks the Magisters and Signals retreated to the control systems behind the officers.

Captain Thicket turned to Moonlight Sceptre standing next to Night Rain, the two being brothers, Moonlight often acted as the ambassador of the Necropolis. Today he didn’t where the Frobisher Suit he wore at the Grand Galloping Gala, instead he wore a neatly fitting black robe with faint silver embroidery. On his hooves, a set of ankle guards.

Thicket spoke “So sorry to keep you waiting Lord Sceptre, but we’re ready to go now.”

“Oh, don’t worry Captain, I’m sure Miss Rarity was understand if I’m late. You say this wheel his powerful enough to blow up the doors of the Necropolis?”, Thicket nodded “Magical protected they may be, but enough force and anything can be broken.”

Moonlight paused and stifled a grimace, then with a wing he pointed “Tell me, what are those two antennas sticking out of it?”

“They pick up the radio waves to control it. Without a signal, it automatically shuts down.”

Moonlight grinned and nodded “Amazing, what will they think of next?”

In the Three T, Time Turner took of blanket to reveal a jumble of valves wires with a pair of headphones and a diamond shaped antenna. He glanced up at the entrance “Hurry up Lucky, close the door so no-pony can hear.”

Lucky pulled the door shut and joined the doctor, he blinked at the radio “Where’d you get that Doc?”

“Made it myself, didn’t I?”

“You’re a real bag of trick aren’t you Doc? But how can we listen with only one pair of headphones?”

“That’s easy, you put on end to your ear, I’ll put the other to mine.”, they did so, Lucky frowned “I can’t hear anything, you sure it’s working?”

“Well, it has to warn up first.”, after a second or two he gave it a little bash.

Thicket pointed with her stick “Target is that concrete pillbox quarter of a mile away.”, they looked to the building painted in camouflage. She turned around to the operators “Are you ready Sergeant?”

The main operator, a Sergeant of the Royal Signals stood up “Yes ma’am. Ready ma’am.”

Thicket looked to the crowd “Are we all ready?”, they all nodded, Thicket turned back “Right, off you go Sergeant.”

“Right ma’am.”, he flicked switched and tuned the signal. From the speaker, a beeping started, one each second. Beside him Dauntless Doo and Chrome Blade watched.

The rockets on the wheel fired up and the HE Ferries started moving away from the gathered.

Thicket spoke “Single beep, that mean forward. Turn left Sergeant.”

The Signal Sergeant changed the waves being sent and the beeps started coming in pairs.

“That’s two beeps,” Thicket explained “she’s responding. Turn right!”

As the Sergeant changed the signal again the beeping increased to a trio.

Thicket grinned proudly “Splendid that’s three beeps!”, the gather chuckled and tapped their hooves in congratulations.

Suddenly the speaker started playing music and a voice spoke “This is the EBC.”

Discord’s voice then asked, “That scooter up beside the wall, who’s, is it?”

“Mine.” Said the voice of a character who spends his day saying, “Hello there.” To any-pony who will listen, wears a thirty-three-year-old suit, big enough for him to grow into, if he were to grow into a nineteen-legged elephant, and who’s economy drives consist of wearing only one sock. He explained about his ownership “A present from an admirer.”

Discord then asked, “Could you ride into town on it, I need to get this show started.”

“Oh, the scooter isn’t mine, the wall the was present.”, an audience started laughing and Discord spoke again “Well, drive me there on that.”

“Right hold tight!” a weird sound effect started, a sort of whirling and buzzing like the most bizarre engine ever created, it got higher and higher as it faded away and the announcer started talking again “As we wait for the star and guests to arrive I continued my recital of announcements. The EBC is open to the public on Thursdays and Wednesday afternoons, or, on Wednesday afternoons and Thursdays.” The audience started laughing.

Thicket turned around “What’s that? I never heard it before.”, Moonlight spoke “It must be that experimental radio broadcast Rarity was telling me about, Miss Fluttershy’s helped produce it.”

Thicket frown deepened as called “What’s happening Sergeant?”

The Signals tried to sort this out but the Sergeant called back “I’m getting a lot of interference ma’am, I can’t make it out.”

Discord spoke “Thank you. Hello folks, hello folks, it is me folks. Next year folks I hope to give up 1003 permanently.”

The voice matching the stereotypical elder states-pony spoke with disgust “Ungrateful beast, after all 1003 has done for, you discard it like an old boot, I won’t hear it.”

Discord spoke “Let me warn you hairy sir, of the many dangers of keeping on old years after its worn out. Mrs Ray’s husband will now tell you why.”

The announcer, Mr Ray spoke dramatically “I was the year 907 of Celestia’s Reign and here is the orchestra to play it.”

As the music played the Signals managed to get some control back, but the beeps started to come in a different succession. Thicket frowned “That’s not the signal for left or right, what is it?”

“I think it’s the one for return to sender sir.”

Indeed, while the officers and observes occupied themselves with The Goon Show, the HE Ferries turned around and rolled towards them. Thicket turned white “Take cover!”, every-pony tried to hide. Moonlight didn’t “If that thing can blow up the Necropolis doors then the covers not going to do much good.”

The wheel rolled passed them. Thicket turned to the Everfree Guards “Doo, Blade, go we have to follow it.”

Dauntless gulped “I’m afraid there’s no transport ma’am. I ordered to puller to come back a dinner time, I didn’t think you’d want them to obverse the test.”

Chrome Blade smacked him on the back of the head “You idiot Doo! We’re too far from anywhere for an Pegasi here to fly, it’s just over three miles to Rockville, and then that’s ten miles for Ponyville.” He turned to Thicket “There’s the transport vehicle of the Reserves.”

“Right,” Thicket nodded “go to Major Fields. Tell him to drive Rockville and warn them, then get the message to Ponyville, if we’re getting a radio signal from Ponyville all the way out here then it’s likely the Wheel will follow it! But we’ll try our best to get it back here!”

“Yes ma’am,” both Everfree Guards said and they ran off.

Vigil sighed as she scarped of the last of the peal her potato “Thank Luna,” she glanced at Waddle “That’s the last.” She dropped it into the pot.

The Major inspected the pair’s work “Those are some of the best pealed potatoes I’ve even seen.”, Porter looked over and nodded “Yes, very good you two.”, the Major glanced back to the tent entrance “Where’ve have Clover and Doctor Turner got to?”

“Major Fields!” came a shout from outside the tent, Chrome Blade rushed in quickly followed by Dauntless Doo. The white Earth Pony frantically spoke “We need you help! It’s escaped!”

“What has?”

“The secret weapon. It’s broken loss and probably on its way to Ponyville! It could blow the town sky high! We have to get to Rockville station and send a warning down the line.”

The Major looked at the ponies’ present “Come on every-pony!”

“Excuse me sir,” Porter said, “we don’t know what it looks like.”

Dauntless spoke up “It looks like a huge wheel and it contains two-thousand pounds of high explosives!”

Cold Steel jumped up “It contains two-thousand pounds of high explosives!” He started jumping out “Don’t Panic! Don’t Panic! Don’t Panic!”, Porter quickly stopped Cold Steel and the Major order every-pony into the Three T.

They opened the back doors and saw Lucky and Time Turner fiddling about with a blanket. As Vigil climbed in she looked thoroughly unimpressed and of course, spoke her mind “Hey! What are you doing skulking in here? Getting out of pealing the totties!”

Lucky asked as the platoon, or half of it at least scrambled in “What’s going on?”

“Ponyville is going to be blown sky high!” she then tapped on Time’s shoulder “If we don’t get to Rockville and get a warning sent.”, Time couldn’t get up fast enough. When building the Three T, he installed a little doorway from the box of the truck to the cab so he fell onto the driver’s seat, with the Major and Sergeant Porter in the passenger seats, and turned the key, the V8 roared into life. He put the Three T into gear and accelerated as fast as he could.

As he turned onto the main road he glanced at the mirror and frowned “Major?”

“Yes, Doctor Turner?”

“What does that secret weapon look like?”

“Doo said it looked like a huge wheel, why do you ask Doctor?”

“Well,” he said looking at the mirror again “it’s looks like it wants to overtake us.”

“What?” the Major exclaimed “Get you’re hoof down it contain two-thousand pounds of explosives!”

Eyes almost popping out of his head, Turner shifted into the highest gear and almost tried to put both hooves on the accelerator pedal.

The Wheel rolled behind the Three T, the sparks and smoke coming from the rocks gave it a hellish and monstrous appearance.

The door to the back opened and Cold Steel pocked his head out “It’s following us Major! Don’t Panic Major! Don’t Panic.”

“Turn left down here Doctor Turner, we’ll lose it.”

“Right sir,” going at speed Turner strained to turn the front wheels.

Three T swerved violently. The Wheel slowed down and the rockets on the left wheel reduced power allowing it to turn. Then it continued forward.

Porter looked at the passenger sidemirror “It’s still following us, it’s quite uncanny.”

Lucky pocked his head out this time as Porter continued “It seems to be attracted be something in the Truck.”, Lucky snorted “Perhaps it’s taken a fancy of the spare wheel.”

The Major glared at him “This is no time for jokes Clover, turn left again Doctor Turner.”

“Right sir.”, this time as they turned off back onto the main road to Rockville the Wheel didn’t turn.

Vigil opened the door with a small “We’ve lost it sir!”

The Major sighed in relief “Thank Celestia for that.”, Porter nodded “Looked to me sir it was going to blow at any moment sir.”, Cold Steel pocked his head through the door again “It didn’t half look angry sir.”

The Major glanced at him “Oh, don’t be absurd Steel, how can a machine look angry?”

Time Turner spoke “Well, sometimes designer like to put faces on machines. But I agree the Wheel thing didn’t look angry.”

Porter asked, “What’s going to us if it does blow up sir?”

“That’s not our problem Porter, we’ve been told to get to Rockville station and that’s what we’re going to do. We’ve shaken it off.”

The Three T slowed to take another turn. Time saw the Wheel in front of them, he slammed on the brakes. The Wheel flared up and starting rolled towards them.

Time threw the Truck into reverse. Cold Steel shouted “It’s an ambush! It must have a grudge against us sir!”

As the Three T backed up the Wheel slowed to a stop. The Major gave the order “We’ve got to put it out of action.” The three in the cab climbed out and the Major banged on the side with the order “Right every-pony out!”

The group clambered down and rushed to the front, spears in hoof. The Major pulled out his officer’s weapon, usually a sabre, but Major Fields after his time with Miss Grey, and thankfully now in a letter relation with her, he became interested in Eastern Swordsmanship, so wields a single edged curved blade called a Katana.

“Excuse me sir,” Porter said coming up alongside with his spear, “Do you think this is wise?”, the Major looked at this second-in-command with a determined face “We’ve got to try and immobilise it.”

Vigil whispered, “If you ask me Major, there are forces at work here that we know very little about!”, Porter then reminded every-pony “There’s two-thousand pounds of high explosives in that thing, which we do know about.”

The Major glanced to Zecora “Standby with you First Aid kit and medicine Miss Zecora.”, she nodded. The Major turned to Time “You’d better stay here too Doctor Turner, Mr Doo and Blade as well, if we, go, then you need to go get help.”, the named ponies nodded and fell back.

“Right, slowly forward.”, and gingerly the assembled approached the Wheel. Cold Steel nudged the Major “Permission to speak sir?” He lowered his spear and a thrust it out as far as he could make it go “I’ll immobilise it sir.”, the Major shook his head “Use your head Steel.”

“Rather use the old Spearhead sir.”, the Major rolled his eyes and motioned the platoon to continued.

The Wheel looked perfectly still as they neared one of its wheels. The Major frowned “I don’t like this, it’s too quiet.”

Lucky chirped up “Perhaps it’s sulking.”

Suddenly, the Wheel flared up. Every-pony backed away. Smoke filled the area.

“Keep calm!” the Major called within the cloud.

Vigil screamed and shouted, “Careful with your spears back there!”

Cold Steel called back “I can’t help it! I can’t see where I’m going!”

As the smoke cleared, Dauntless Doo, Chrome Blade, Time Turner and Zecora came running up. The Zebra went to Vigil to check Cold Steel’s spread did not seriously injury her.

The smoke finished clearing and the Wheel no longer stood before them.

Dauntless looked extremely nervous “That was phase two, it’ll go into phase three next.”, Porter raised an eyebrow “What’s phase three?”

“The explosion.”

Cold Steel went off with his “Don’t Panic!” after running about for a bit he said, “We’ve got to stop it Major!”

Chrome scratched his head “Why did it follow us? Is there a radio in the Truck?”

Time Turner eyes widened, and he glanced to Lucky also worried.

The Major spoke up “How do we put it out of action?”

Dauntless explained “There are two aerials on it. One on the top and one on the side, get rid of those and it deactivates.”

Cold Steel automatically spoke up “Permission to speak sir? I’ve got an idea, we could do like Victoria Fens.”, Victoria Fens being an ancient leader of the Earth Pony Tribe who rebel against the Pegasi roughly a thousand years before the founding of Equestria.

The Major frowned “How do you mean?”

“Well, she put knives on her chariot wheels and as they moved round and round she was known to chop the wings off some unlucky Pegasi.”, cringes went through the platoon.

With the Three T at speed they slowly drew close to the Wheel. The Major shouted through the door and they went into action.

“Open, two, three.”, the side slots opened, “Out, two, three.”, the spears came out of all the slots. As they speed passed the Wheels, a few of the spearheads caught the side aerial and it snapped off the Wheel.

Back at the tests site the Signal Sergeant called to Captain Thicket “I’ve made contact ma’am!”, Thicket and the Magister Officers crowded around, the Captain of the Day Guard asked, “Is it a signal?”

“It’s more like a groan ma’am.”, the officers looked to each other confused.

The platoon stood beside the Pie Family Rock Farm. A couple of the members talked with the sisters, Limestone and Marble.

Time Turner checked the engine of the Three T. Dauntless and Chrome made their, running, way to the station, they hoped to find Rainbow Dash, she could get the top aerial off, and if Soarin came visiting her today then he’d be even better.

Vigil shook her head “A fine time to break down Doctor.”, Time glared at her “We’ll I couldn’t help it. A sparkplug’s gone. Anyway, I’ve got an idea of how to get the second aerial off. Once I get the Truck fix Lucky can climb into the back and operate my portal radio.”

The Major blinked and looked at him enraged “Portal radio?”

“Since you didn’t let me off to listen to the EBC broadcast I brought it with me. Me and Clover didn’t get a chance to switch it off, that’s why it’s been following us, I forgot to switch it off, I just lowered the volume and muffled the signal with a blanket when you arrived.”

“Turner.” The Major said sternly “Why didn’t you say something when Chrome Blade asked us?”, Time sighed “I felt such a fool I couldn’t speak. It’s my fault the weapon went haywire, I’ll take reasonability,” he shut the bonnet of Three T and stood straight “And so it’s my job to stop this things before it explodes.”

The Major nodded “Alright Doctor Turner.” He sighed “What do you have in mind?”

“Well, first we need to get Mr Pie to lend us a sharp instrument, a pair of sheers preferably.”, the Major raised an eyebrow “Why would a Rock Farm have sheers?” he glanced down at the Katana “I see what you have in mind, I’ll sort it out, so what do you want me to do?”

Time nodded and explained as he took the towrope out. Porter glanced at the Major “Do you think that’s wise sir?”

“For all we know Porter,” the Major said “even if Rainbow Dash can be found and explained to in time she could still arrive too late. And we don’t know how far the damage from the explosion will go.”

Time nodded and he and Lucky climbed aboard “Good luck sir.”, the Major nodded “You too Doctor, Clover.”, and the Three T sped off. The Major walked over to the Pie family “Miss Marble, is there a tall tree on the roadway?”

Time found the Wheel still on the road and made a three-point turn. With the radio now straight at the Wheel he called to Lucky “Turn the volume up!”

As soon as Lucky did the Wheel flared. Time saw it in the mirror and started the Truck moving and quickly go up to speed.

From the top of the tallest tree on the side of the road Vigil down “Their coming!”

“Right!” The Major called “Lower away!”, the Earth Ponies held the towrope in their mouths and lowly moved forward. The Three T rolled under the tree. the Major, with the rope tied around his waist dangled down with the Katana in both hooves.

The Wheel came closer and closer. The Major took a deep breath. Stared the flaring metal machine down. He swung. The blade cut the aerial clean off.

The Wheel’s rocket stopped. It rolled backwards.

Porter called “Get him down gently!”, they lowered the Major to the ground. Before cheers could start they heard a terrible racket. The Wheel tumbled onto an embankment. Tilted up on one side. The fell onto said side. Cold Steel walked up and sniffed “Major, we’ve killed it.”

Hooves and wings sounded. Rainbow Dash, with Soarin, Dauntless and Chrome, Captain Thicket, Captain Night Rain and Moonlight Spectre, plus some Magisters and Signal all arrived.

Captain Thicket surveyed the Wheel and held her head high “A very promising first test.”, the Major turned to her “I somehow think you and the Magisters still have some work to do on it Captain Thicket.”

“Yeah,” Lucky said, “you’ll have to stop Bluebottle and Eccles from interfering with you for a start.”, Captain Thicket looked to the Major and glared at him “Take that stallion’s name Major Fields.”

A throat cleared and Time Turner walked up “You should add my name to it Major.”, he carried the portable radio on his back, he explained about the mistake he made. “But,” he added “I do have an idea to keep this from happening.”

“Oh?” a Magister asked, “How so?”

“If you constantly change the frequency of both transmitter and receiver than you won’t get any accidental inference or worse, an enemy tuning in and taking control.”, the Magister looked to each other and Captain Thicket nodded “It’s a good pointed, we’ll have to work out something.”, Time Turner grinned “I may have an idea of a system I’ll send it to Magister headquarters.”

Captain Thicket nodded and the teams started to clear up.

Author's Note

The Goon Show was a BBC radio comedy starring Spike Milligan, Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe. It inspired Monty Python.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmuS3SGgRsw

To give you an idea.

How to Miss an Art Show

Cipher slowly made his way down the hilly roads with a smile on his face. The other day he teamed up with Discord to put on a radio show as an experiment for a national broadcasting company. It proved a reasonably success, but Time Turner did tell him of the trouble he caused the Royal Guard.

Rehearsing the proved a challenge, not because Cipher couldn’t do it. He used his deception and shapeshifting skills to change his voice to suit the characters. All apart from Discord himself, who for reasons Cipher could only think of as vanity seemed to be the sanest character in the script, a definition of sane if you stretched it to the moon and back.

The script in all called for over twelve other characters. They included “The Famous” Eccles, the Minor-General Blood-Knock a renowned military idiot, coward and bar, the plausible public school villain and cad Grip Tight Fin, his lackey the bald, daft, deaf and worthless Count Navigator of the House of Famed Brave, the senile and delinquent couple and Mr Crum and Mrs Banister and the cardboard cut-out, liquorice and string hero who speaks in a high pitch and ingratiating manner, the side hero next to Discord, Bluebottle, who for some reason would sometimes say his directions, like ‘Enter Bluebottle wearing string and cardboard pyjamas. Waits for audience applause. Not a sausage.’ Or for a future script if the series did take off ‘Enter Office colt, Bluebottle, with ink on best collar and second best hoof.’

The large cast of characters didn’t cause the challenge, far from it in Cipher’s case. No, the script kept on causing Cipher to laugh so much. The entertainment of Discord’s nonsense became contagious. Discord made fun with the fourth wall, something which made Cipher wonder about Pinkie Pie and her strange abilities.

After the announcer, Mr Ray dramatically said, “I was the year 907 of Celestia’s Reign and here is the orchestra to play it.” The orchestra played as described in the script ‘NEW MADE LINK ALL OVER THE SHOP. SINGING IN THE MIDDLE. SOUND F.X. IN MUSIC. FINISHES ON A CHORD.’ 907 must have been a real mess of a year.

And then Discord spoke again “Oh, what a year that was… the South Zebra war has broken out and was now in its second years.”, then the Grams, recorded sound effects started playing a rendition of Happy Birthday. Cipher lost it when he first heard the joke. If Fluttershy did not act as a producer and director, to keep her chaotic friend and Changeling colt-friend under control then they would never at completed rehearsals in time.

All in all, the show went well, and over the last couple of days both Discord and Cipher received letters of congratulations and indeed love and a certain amount of fangirling, especially for Cipher, which he took just as a snack of emotional energy.

Although the calendar said autumn, Cipher couldn’t help but feel a touch of spring in the air and a lovely scent woodless of peppercorn, lavender and maple leaves greeted his nose. He didn’t have much post so he and Riolu climb down to have a short walk “Come on Riolu, stretch your paws.”, the Jakhowl stopped at a rock as a pigeon landed on it, he pounced but it flew off just in time.

Autumn, or Fall as Ponies called it did not last long, only long enough for the leaves to change colour and for the Running of said Leaves to occur, then Cloudsdale would come over bringing the snow, but according to this year’s schedule, given what happened last year, the Everfree Kingdom would be the last on the list for snow. Rainbow Dash secretly hopped this would mean she and her pet tortoise Tank would have some more time together before he hibernated.

Cipher meanwhile heard some form of activity. He walked around a bush and saw Rarity setting up an easel, beside her on a stool, a brand-new set of paints and bare wooden palette and sitting at one of the stool’s legs a canvas. Cipher approached as she placed the canvas landscape on of the easel “Good morning Rarity.”, she turned around “Oh, hello Cipher darling. How’s Ponyville’s new radio star doing?”

Cipher chuckled and spoke in his Eccles voice “Fine, fine. How about you? Heard anything from Flash and Twilight?”, she smiled and shook her head “I think their spending their time just enjoying their honeymoon.”

“A very long honeymoon. It’s been over a week.”, Rarity chuckled herself “I don’t blame them, with both their positions it means they can’t spend a lot of time just being together, I think they want to enjoy it as much as possible.”

Cipher nodded “Oh well, we’ll just have to wait until they get back. Still nice to see ponies out and about, and you picked just the day for a bit of painting.”

The wind suddenly picked up and blew the canvas off the easel. Rarity gasped. Cipher fluttered his wings and flew after it. The canvas twirled and tumbled through the air and into a hedge. Cipher landed and chuckled “Well caught hedge.” He took the canvas of the branches with his magic and walked back to Rarity “Quite a lively picture this’ll be. Here we are Rarity, all safe and sound.”

Rarity smiled and took the canvas in her magic “Thank you Cipher dear.” She put it back onto the easel “This is a most important canvas.” She took out the palette and a tube of yellow paint, which she squirted a blob onto as she explained “For the Everfree Art Show.”

“Art Show? How many events are we having in this first year of the Kingdom?”

“Oh, I don’t know, but I relish the chance to shine.”

“Couldn’t you have made a fashion line? Art of the dress or something?”

“I did consider, but I thought why not try something outside of my niche, I do love a challenge? Sweetie Belle did it last year in the Applewood Derby,” she sighed “and I almost ruined it for her. Anyway, I know I must do the best I can, the Ponyville Express is offering a prize, a very big prize I do believe. Just think of that.” She took her brush.

Cipher raised an eyebrow “Well I never saw that, I’ve been too busy sorting out letters to read the paper. I thought you didn’t like the Ponyville Express?”

“It’s still boring, but I will admit I feel it’s more trust worthy since Parcel Post took over its printing, a Ponyville Express from Ponyville, you never know what the printers in Canterlot might do, I mean look at what the Liverypool Street Herald gets up to. Dreadful.”

“Rarity, if the printers did change here and there without the editor’s permission then no doubt the editors would complain.”

“You never know what newspapers editor will do, ask Fluttershy about the Gabby Gums incident with the Free Foal Press, or better yet Mr Rich.”, she looked passed the canvas and hummed “Here we go.” She levitated her brush and took some of the yellow paint, she began dabbing at the canvas in a few strokes. She looked back up and shut one eyes, then she seemed to measure whatever she looked at with her brush. Cipher looked to where her eyes fell to, but continued see much, if anything yellow in the view.

Rarity meanwhile seemed to be in her own world “Not a bad start.” She added a few extra strokes around the bottom. She turned back to Cipher. The Changeling hummed and tried closing an eye to see if it changed the image “Well, its, um, is it? I mean all that yellow. Are you thinking about Moonlight Spectre’s eyes again?”

Rarity blushed and held her head high “Lord Moonlight’s eyes are not yellow, they’re a burnt orange.”

Cipher decided to ignore the fact she didn’t answer no and looked at the canvas again. With just the undeterminable blob on the white canvas it looked like Rarity created a new style of art, not the impressionist night sky of Vincent van Colt or the Romantic landscape of Gracious Constable, this art style look as if it tried to so much with minimal work, and failing to have any meaning behind it, as if being art exist for no other reason than being art.

Whatever Rarity tried to paint, Cipher didn’t like it “It make me want to squint.”, Rarity seemed to ignore this and added some more yellow “Now then Cipher, what do you make of that?”

The wind blustered again and the canvas flew off the easel, and onto Rarity’s torso. She shirked.

Cipher stifled a laugh “I think the wind wants to paint to you Rarity.”, the fashionista pulled the painting off and examined the yellow blotch on her fur, her nose wrinkled and she gave a disgusted, ladylike, grunt “It’s no good Cipher, I shall have to go home and paint a pot of flowers on the kitchen table. After I clean myself up of course.”

Cipher chuckled.

Next day, Cipher called on Time Turner, a parcel with his address arrived. Right now, Cipher wondered about the little robot TOM, Time started designing the little thing about a week ago and so far, nothing came off it, although it could easily because Time often got distracted by other things and could often forget projects for a long while.

He entered the workshop and called “Morning Time.”

“Morning Cipher.” Time said as he turned his screwdriver. Currently he stood beside a brightly painted model house and an electric fan. No roof on the model, with a pair of green doors and from the side a hole with a cuckoo, like one from a clock peaked out and on the other side a windmill. Time turned to Cipher “I hope you’ve got a parcel for me.”

Cipher nodded “I have.” And he looked at the label on the small box “It looks like something special.”

“Special?” Time chuckled “I should think so. It’s a thingamy-whatsit for this doolally gadget I’m making to the Everfree Art Show.” He tapped the model.

Cipher hummed “Well I wouldn’t mind having a go. But I don’t think I could make a doolally-whatsit.”

“Well, there’s all sorts of things you could try.” Time took hold of a nearby open paint it with a brush inside “What about a spot of painting? I’ve got plenty of tins with a bit left in.” He stirred the brush in the paint “I’d be glad to get them used up.”

Cipher shook his head and explained about Rarity “It looks a bit messy, especially when the wind gets up.”

Time nodded and put the paint tin away “What you want is a nice lump of clay.”

Cipher paused and thought about the idea. Taken something ugly like large blob on unsightly grey mud and mould, reshape it into a new form, just by instinct only he could tell “That sounds more like my style. But where could I get such a thing as a lump of clay?”

“I got a tin of some special stuff.” Time said as he started looking about the workshop “I got sent it to try out. It’s like clay.” He looked under a desk and smiled, he then pulled out a large tin, with a bucket like handle and covered with red paint “I haven’t got time to bother with it, you’re welcome to try if you like.”

Cipher nodded “I’ll have a go.” He took the tin in his magic, and strained at the weight. Time chuckled “Plenty there for you. All you need to do is read the instructions.”, Cipher nodded and put the tin down “Thanks Time.” He then looked at the Doolally Gadget “But what’s this thing you’re making? What do it do?”

Time cleared his throat and closed to gap between then to whisper “Don’t tell any-pony Cipher, it’s to be a secret until the show opens. They’ve never seen anything like this.” He twirled the windmill blades “It all works with the wind.” He took the roof from the side desk and put it on the model, then his took a piece of string and tied it around some wheels, one on the windmill axle, the other out of the house. The doctor continued explaining “That’s what this fan’s for.” He switched the machine on and the windmill started turning. Immediately the modal started shacking about his incomplete automatons, one shot out the green doors and fell off, then the roof jumped off and onto Time’s back. The doctor switched the fan off.

Cipher backed up slightly “Um, I’d better be off.” He took the tin and muttered “I’ve had enough wind to last me a long time.” He walked out and called “Cheerio.”

“Bye Cipher.” Time called, as the cuckoo fell off its perch.

Cipher climbed on to the driver’s seat and started the cart up, he spoke to Riolu “What a clay rabbit?” He chuckled as his flicked the reins and head along the country roads, around a left bend and back into the town. He stopped at the Post Office and walked inside.

Much to Cipher surprise a few ponies stood inside talking about the art show, including the Major, Reverend Farthing and Chelsea Porcelain.

The Reverend saw Cipher and smiled “Good morning Cipher. How wonderful to have an art show in our community.”

Major Fields spoke up next “Last time I did any painting I painted the fence all around the barracks,” he chuckled “made a bit of a mess of it.”

Chelsea Porcelain spoke to Muffins, who focused more on the letters, the retired mare continued “When I was a filly I was a wonder at needlework, embroidery all that sort of thing, I can’t hold a brush properly now, it’s these rheumatics you know…”

“Oh yes,” Muffins said cutting her off while handling a large parcel “I’m sure. I must sort out these letters. Would you care for a muffin?” She walked over to the pigeonholes.

Then the group started to speak all at once, a real discorded cacophony. Muffins poked her head out and her eyes straightened as she angry yelled “Quiet Every-pony!”, the group stopped, rarely did Muffins get angry and she only straightened her eyes during something serious “Now look folks,” she said, “I have these letters to out, and it you want any advice you better go have a word with Miss Cheerilee down at the school.”

The Major nodded and went to the door “Follow me, mind the step.”, Reverend Farthing followed and muttered “I wonder if they accept the model I have, painting by number…”

Chelsea slowly left with some more pony and she spoke “…these were cushions, cross-stitching, a bit faded by now…”

Quiet at last Muffins returned to sorting as Cipher shuffled up “Muffins, do you know…”, she rolled her eyes “If it’s about that blooming poster and the art show no Cipher, I don’t.”, at the mention of a poster Cipher looked around and saw a such a poster, with the logo of the Ponyville Express with some details about the art show, Parcel Post no doubt put it up after Cipher left with Time’s special parcel.

Muffins continued “The whole town’s all a buzz with it and I’m tired of answering silly questions.” She finished assembling the assortment of post “Besides, as you can see, there’s a deal of post that’s come in, so they’ll be no time for chatting.”

“Thanks Muffins.” He took then with his magic “I’m thinking of having a go at something, just wait and see.” He looked down at the post and notice a number with both his address and the Castle of Friendship, how many ponies did hear the radio broadcast, and how many ponies wished to congratulate Twilight and Flash? He left the Post Office just hearing Muffin’s relieved sigh of goodbye.

Most evenings for Cipher are quiet affairs, every-pony knows about his introverted and respect his privacy. Cipher sat in his chair reading one of the books Fluttershy gave him. He glanced at the side table with an old copy of the Ponyville Express. Then he remembered about the art show and the clay, so he went into the kitchen and brought out the tin, ‘Now then, what shall I make? First things first, get it out of the tin.’ He took the lid off and put it under the table. Then it quickly flipped the tin over and plonked down, he did hear a small slop of the clay. He banged the bottom and then pulled it off the lump. ‘Now what did it say?’ he flipped it right-side-up and looked at the writing on the side, he frowned “I wish Time hadn’t slip paint on it. Keep warm and mix a small amount of water. Can’t see the rest. Never mind.’

Then a most peculiar sound came from the clay, a slouching and bubbling. The blob in question started to move, it developed humps and they feel down the lump surface in waves before starting to slip off the edges on the table. Cipher’s eyes widened “Hello! It’s alive!” he tried catching as much as possible in the tin, but he only caught a small amount as most the clay plopped onto the floor. Cipher stepped forward and put his hooves into the clay and then slipped slightly, he steadied himself, but ended up putting another hoof in the clay remaining on the table. He lifted a hoof from the floor finding it very difficult “This stuff’s more like glue than clay.” He ended splashing the edge of the tin with this stuff, making whatever else he could have read now covered. He then watched the final bits of clay flow off the table and onto the floor.

Next morning, a Sunday and thus no need of work, Cipher went to his special messenger machine and called Time Turner. One of the doctor’s inventions and the test device of his new “Secret Radio Communication System”, it used identical piano rolls going at the same time and speed, the holes in the roles would correspond to one of eighty-eight different frequencies. With one hole at a time, Time calculated over seven-thousand combinations with the addition of different lengths for each hole, it would make the system nearly impossible to infiltrate and because of the different frequencies it meant if they got any interference from say some-pony bring a portable radio and accidently tuning into the frequency.

Now Cipher didn’t fully understand the system, he simply switched the transmitter and receiver, with its identical rolls and his radio would automatically send a signal to Time’s to switch his half of the system on. Time said he calculated the timings just right. Any electromagnetic wave, including visible light, radio waves and x-rays travel at the same speed the universal constant, the speed of light, 671-Million miles per hour. Time calculated the distance between his workshop and Cipher’s house and the time difference would be so infinitely small it wouldn’t matter, because light travelled 186-thousand miles per second, which is more than the mapped geography of Equestria, there would be no real effect to when the frequencies change.

Cipher shook his head hoping it would work and took to the microphone. Time’s voice came from the speakers “Hello, Cipher?”

“Hello Time.”

“So, the system does work, good to know. The Corps of Royal Magisters will be pleased. Anyway, how are you doing?”

“I had a bit of trouble with that clay stuff you gave me. Took me till bedtime to clean it up.”

“What did you make?”, Cipher laughed “A mess, that’s what I made Time, nothing else. Cheerilee came around to see what the commotion was all about, you should have heard what she said.”

“You’ll have to follow the instructions Cipher.”, Cipher sighed and explained the trouble with the tin, then Time spoke again “I’ll see if I can get a leaflet about it, I know I’ve got one somewhere.”

Time kept his promise and soon Cipher started again with his clay sculpture. He started by shaping the lump up tall and with a wide base. He then added arms and tails, ears and small hanging appendages. Then with a wooden tool he smoothed the clay down and added smaller details. He ended up with a grinning Jakhowl sitting in the lotus position.

Riolu did not grin however, and while in the lotus position he start to get fidgety.

The day of art show arrived, however Flash and Twilight didn’t come back from honeymoon, they seemed to have chosen a full fortnight to spend time together.

Cipher trundled out of the village, but as he climbed the hill just before the North-Eastern Windmill the Cart start to play up, it lost power and banged. He managed to roll into the yard but the cart finely stopped working.

Windy, outside collecting the eggs heard the noises and came to have a look.

Cipher looked under the cart, he glanced back as the hen farmer walked up “Morning Windy.”

“Morning Cipher, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, she just conked out.”

“Let’s have a look, I know a thing or two about these Auto-magic engines. Mind you not to the level of Time Turner or Big Mac.”, Windy took his hat off and got underneath as he began muttering.

Cipher heard another set of hooves and looked back to the road. Filthy Rich came trudging along with his mobile shop. He stopped and unharnessed himself.

Rich’s decision to pull the cart himself came as a surprise to many, most notably his wife Spoiled Rich, who lived up to her name, and to her maiden name of Spoiled Milk, for she did act quite sour, and Rich’s daughter Diamond Tiara. Rich explained Ponyville existed on hard work and honesty, if you’re sincere and of good characters the ponies in town take care of you, but you must do your part to. It also gave him an opportunity to scout about and learn more about potential customers.

Cipher step around to greet his acquaintance, he smiled and waved his hoof “Hello Rich.”

“Hello Cipher, anything wrong?”, Windy muttered something about the manifold and the exhaust and as Filthy Rich walked closer the farmer called out “Hey Cipher, these sparkplugs are mucky.”

Filthy meanwhile took an electric touch from his cart and checked the tank. The cart used an alchemical fire spell to produce its internal combustion. Filthy carefully opened the cap and braced himself. No fire came out so he peered in and chuckled “There’s nothing wrong with the cart Cipher, it just it won’t run on fresh air alone. You’re out of your alchemy.”

Cipher faced hoof “Oh dear, what a noddle I am. Muffins told me the formula wouldn’t last forever. I’ll miss the art show, their picking the winner this afternoon.”, Windy got back up and returned to his hens. Rich meanwhile went back to his cart and took a bottle something “This old bottle of wines gone off. Spoiled told me to get rid of it, might as well put it to good use,” he poured the liquid into the tank “There should be enough burnable liquid in there to get you to the village.”

Cipher smiled and climb aboard “Thanks Rich, I owe you one.”

“No need to thank me, just being a good Everfree citizen.”

“Still thanks again, I hope to Celestia and Thorax this works.” He charged his horn and the cart spluttered before groaning into life. Cipher gulped and lightly pulled the reins to get her rolling. She did run a lot better with something to burn, but not for long.

They just entered the village when the cart started blowing and spluttering, gasping for breath for its magical embers. She conked out just on the edge of the High Street. Cipher climbed down and spread his wings “We’ll have to make it to the schoolhouse under our own power.”, Riolu jumped onto the Changeling’s back and the Changeling Prince fluttered as fast as he could.

Tried only began to describe Cipher as he landed at the schoolhouse. He entered and looked about. Time Turner’s Doolally Gadget ran smoothly, it even included cut-out smoke coming out the chimney. He couldn’t see the judge, whoever they were. But he did notice a pony who he smiled for ‘There’s Fluttershy.’, his mare-friend looked after the sculpture of Riolu. Some-pony put a notice on it Cipher approached and read it “Special award? Ponyville prize?”

Fluttershy nodded and smile with pride “It’s a special prize Cipher, something about your model saving the show.”, Cipher raised an eyebrow “I didn’t think my model was…” then he noticed something and frowned “His tail’s missing! I gave him a nicely sculpted tail.”, he felt a tap on his shoulder, he turned around to see Time Turner behind him “Um, Cipher could you spare a minute?” He walked to a cupboard with pipes and valves. Water trickled on the floor Cipher asked, “Is there a flood?”

Time nodded “There was a leak yes.” He opened the door and pointed “You see that pipe?” At a junction in the pipelines a blob of something wrapped around the pipe “That’s Riolu’s tail, the cold water makes the clay go hard, just the thing to stop a leak. Without that we would have needed to close the show so the water wouldn’t ruin the art.”

Rarity walked up and smiled as Riolu looked at his clay counterpart. The fashionista put a rosette on the Jakhowl “I think Riolu deserves first prize.”, Fluttershy nodded and scratched the pup’s ear “After all, he did help to stop a flood.”

Cipher walked up and patted his companion on the head “He’s a first-class creature.”, the Jakhowl just blushed and smiled.

Fallen Idol, Rising Spirit

The Major blinked as Flash finished recounting one of his tests as an Apprentice Knight, “And you’re sure A. K. Yearling hasn’t turned that into a book?”

Flash shook his head, internally he giggled, the girls all told him about Miss Yearling and her identity and after the publication of the Friendship Journal she did her very best, with reasonable sucsess to dispell what the Journal revealed, and sent an extremely stern letter to both Twilight and Rainbow Dash. Flash really hoped to meet her one day and talk to her about the adventure he told the Major. “I don’t think it was enough to make me a Royal Knight, I mean, compared to the Brig, Sir High Mountain, Sir Bold Star, in even to my mentor Sir Lionheart, that just one adventure.”

"Well, they all had to start somewhere sir."

The story came from his special training, in between his stationing in the Crystal Empire and the events leading up to his transfer and promotion, and now Prince by marriage status, and the best two-week holiday of his life.

Flash and Twilight for their honeymoon travelled to the ancient town in the old Unicorn Kingdom territory, where both Rare Metal, founder of the Unicorn Royal Family, and according to the four Books of Silver Light, his birthplace, the little town of Sacrament. They spent the days traveling around and worshiping at the small shrines and chapels set up throughout the old Unicorn Kingdom, and at night they’d return to their hotel and, enjoy, each other’s company, a lot. Flash smirk with stallion pride as the events of those replayed in his mind.

Still the story of his special training, as an Apprentice Knight Flash got given a unique test, in his case protecting an elite pony. He did wonder if the test had in fact been training to become Twilight’s personal guard.

The elite pony said he needed guarding due to this omen he received. Omens are rare and unusual events which can be interpreted as prophecy, often linked with astrology. This client seemed an absolute nut on magic, much more than Twilight. The elite pony appeared to be some sort of wizard, not like Comet Tail.

There are in fact two form of magic depending on which school you went to. Celestia’s School, the foremost school, always tried to be the progressive type, due to the founding member of the Faculty being Princess Celestia, Star Swirl the Breaded and Clover the Clever.

The other main school, Hogwash’s Arcane Academy, dating back to the Unicorn Kingdom taught a traditional magic.

Comet as a younger wizard, although self-taught, treated magic more like a science, much in the same way Twilight did. Whereas this chap, a former professor of Divination at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, stuck very much to old view of magic, he would talk about candles, circles, planets, stars, bananas, chants, runes and the importance of having at least four good meals every day, probably the reason why his tailoring bill eat into his teacher’s pension.

When Flash asked, it didn’t surprise him to learn the old professor came for Hogwash. Flash took a dim view of the traditional magic, called the Occult, partly because of the Prophets objection to them and many of the practices being church rites often reversed, like saying the Bridle Creed backwards. Necromancy, calling upon the spirits of the dead, banned across Equestria and it is rumoured the only “Black Grimoire” left is locked away in the Necropolis, among other malefic tomes.

Hogwash taught Rituals and the Rites, and the Rights and Wrongs. Nearly all spells are accompanied by actions. These “rites” generally require the same exactness on the performer’s part as the reciting of spells. The main purpose of a rite is to carry the magic of the spell to its desired object.

Rituals are ceremonial acts, they have various, frequently overlapping purposes: to placate, propitiate, supplicate, honour, obey or call forth the gods, goddess, spirits or demons; to initiate passage into stallion/ mare-hood, entrance into a secret society or entrance into a mystical vocation such as magician or shaman, to mark transitions or passage, to encourage fertility, healing or cleansing; to protect home, family, children or warriors and to banish wrongdoers.

Among the common features of ritual in all magic are the reciting of holy names, the names of Gods, spells, chants and prayers, dancing and other movement, particularly ritualized postures and gestures, costumes and masks, incense, smoke, candles, fires, offerings and sacrifices, feasting or fasting, purifications, the use of scared objects, relics tools, images and symbols.

During such a ritual, the old professor got the omen. For his Augury, his fancy word for fortune telling, he used the divination of Xylomancy, which from the name would make you think he did some sort of divination via a xylophone, but it works either by divining from the size and shape of pieces of wood randomly collected, or burning the pieces and observing which flamed first. The old professor did it in the jungles of the deep south while he collected fire wood.

So, first Flash traversed the jungle to find his client, then suffered the old professor’s rambling about some vague change about to occur.

What did occur, they two got attacked by a dog-like creature. Who claimed to be Ahuizotl, on of Daring Do’s villains. Of course, at the time Flash just thought it much have been the creature A. K. Yearling based the villain of, but after his discussion with Rainbow Dash he now knew he faced the character, and he looked exactly how the books described him with an elongated dog-like head, with eyes positioned over his nose at the end of his snout. Walking on all fours, with dog-like hind limbs and ape-like forelimbs, and a long monkey-like tail with a hand on its end. A tuxedo-style coat, having dark blue fur over most of his body, while his stomach, lower jaw and limbs are of a lighter blue with golden coloured jewellery, such as a necklace, a single ear ring, and three bracelets, one for each foreleg, and one around his tail’s wrist.

The elite professor became absolutely scared. Flash on the other hoof fought the monster head on. He even discovered some of his history.

His family were the “God-Kings” of an ancient city civilisation in the south jungle. Cats, their pets, big and small were viewed as lesser servant gods to the Ahuizotl family. And according to the, whatever he was, this Ahuizotl simply wish to regain his family relics hidden from pony raiders, pirates most likely in the year 525 of Celestia’s Reign. However, Daring Do seemed determined to steal his property.

Flash however, didn’t care about the reasons behind Ahuizotl’s, he was an enemy who attacked them and needed to be defeat. Long story short, he managed to beat the “God-King” down hard and he and the professor escaped. Flash just made out “I will have my revenge.”, he hopped he’d never get caught in one of Daring’s adventures.

Right now, the Everfree Guard, reservist and all travelled to Canterlot for a special gathering arranged by Princess Celestia and the Royal Knights, Flash could only wonder why.

In a large tent, big enough for over thirty ponies a drill sergeant-major inspected the rigging.

A captain of the Day Guard, with the colours of an instructor, walked in and smiled at the NCO “Ah, General Sentry and the Everfree Guard are a bit late aren’t they Sergeant-Major?”

“I understand their using their own transport sir. One of their member built a self-propelled armoured cart, nothing with Auto-magic though, uses some engine powered by Liquid Petroleum Gas.”

The Instructor looked unsure “I heard the Everfree Guard can be quite ingenious.”, the Sergeant-Major nodded “Oh yes sir, very keen as well, so Prince Armour says.”, the Instructor gulped and walk off slightly “Flash was among the keenest when we were in the intake together. A bit too keen if you ask me.” His eyes started blinking uncontrollably and his lip quivered “Then again, it did lead him to become a Prince.”

The Sergeant-Major noticed the Instructor’s odd behaviour “Are you alright sir?”

“Oh, it’s this darn twitch I’ve developed, I’ve overseen a school of explosive for just over half a year now, not long after that darn Naval Fool Bluenose got court-martialled for causing that massive fire in Bridle City. After a couple of months, I got this, peeving, twitch.”

The Sergeant-Major nodded “If you ask me sir, you could do with some Leave.”

“The trouble is lot of the younger recruits have no idea of the danger, and some of the officer are just as foolish too, so mad keen! They charge about all over the place, one of these days their going to blow themselves sky high! I know it I just know it!”

A low growl filled the air and a horn blasted. The pair turned to the entrance as the Three T rolled in. Flash and the Major climb down from the cab and gave the orders to disembark.

The Sergeant-Major walked to the entrance to address the lot. Flash and Major walked in first and went to the Instructor, who saluted. Dauntless Doo, Chrome Blade and Sergeant Porter joined them.

Flash smiled “Hello Ashwood, I didn’t think I’d soon after the wedding. What have you been up to?”, the Instructor known as Ashwood explained.

The Major chuckled “That takes me back, it was the Fifth Regiment of Hoof that developed the grenade you know.”

“Really?” Ashwood twitched.

Cold Steel walked up and nodded “I don’t know which I like better, the spear or the bomb. I’m fond of the both of course sir. In 978 I was on a tour in the Griffon Lands, me and my mates we pinned down and I was throwing bombs one at a time. Pin out, over, bang! Over, bang! They used to call me the Mad Bomber you know. I not mad really, I’m as sane as you are.”

“Oh, really?” Ashwood twitched “Well, if you excuse me, I’ve got a lot to do. Make yourselves comfortable.” And he rushed out.

Cold Steel glanced at the Major “He’s a bit hysterical isn’t he sir?”

Flash nodded “Ash was one of the more nervous of my intake, conscripted like Dad.” He turned to the Major, “Let’s go get our beddings.”

“Porter’s bring my stuff in sir.”

“Major,” Flash said sternly “We can’t have any-pony waiting on us in this unit. I want it to be democratic. We eat together, sleep together and fight together. Rank doesn’t come into it.”

Porter walked up with a pair of bedding in his magic “Here you are sir.”

Flash looked at Porter “Porter, you may be the Major’s Steward, but that doesn’t mean you have to do everything for him.” The young General walked to the Three T. Porter watch him go and returned to the Major and smirked “Should I take you’re bedding back to the Truck sir?”, the Major rolled his eyes “Don’t be absurd Porter, just put it down over there.”

“Right sir.”

Lucky, and Mr Waddle walked in. Waddle looked unsure “Do we have to sleep on the ground?”, Lucky plonked his bedding down “Well it’s either that or stand up a night.”, Waddle sighed “It won’t do my rheumatics any good.”

Vigil walked up “Oh, don’t be such a sissy. It’ll straighten your back.”

“At my age, it’s already decided which way it wants to go.”

Lucky set up his bed next to Cold Steel, and looked curiously at the rigging and the net cover the old solider began to put over his blankets. The grey Pegasus blinked “What are you doing Steel?”

“Making my bed, aren’t I?”

“You going to grow strawberries in it?”, Steel turned to him mildly offended “Of course not.”

“What’ve you got that net on it for?”

“Well, it’s for mosquitos, it’s a mosquito net.”

“What’re you talking about? There are no mosquitos here, you’re a silly old duffer.”

“I know but it goes with the bed, doesn’t it? We’ve been together for almost fifty years.”

“And it doesn’t seem a day too much.” Lucky sang.

“You can laugh, but I was very glad of this net in Saddle Arabia, it doesn’t just keep out mosquitos, it keeps out snakes and all.”, Lucky paused and blink “Luna, don’t tell me snakes were trying to get into bed with you?”

“Yeah, snakes? It’s cold out in the desert at night, and them snakes you to try and come in and snuggle up beside you.”, Lucky shuddered.

“Oh, it’ll alright. They’re not cold and slimy, snakes you know. They’re all warm and soft…”

“And coated in salmonella.”

“Every animal has that, you just wash thoroughly. There was one snake that used to come to my tent every night and around my next, what did I call it? Oh yeah, Chip I called him, and his little face used to look through the net a little pathetic look in his eyes as if to say, I’m cold let me come in. I never let him in though, I don’t like that sort of thing you know.”

As Flash took his helmet off he heard hoof-steps he looked up and smiled “Hello sir.” He saluted.

Lionheart smiled “No need for that Flash, none of us are here on duty. I thought you’d be coming down later with Twilight.”

“Oh, no sir, I need to get back to my duty as leader of the Everfree Guard, anyway,” he leaned in “between you and me I think Twilight might have caught something while on honeymoon, she’s been getting sick at random times, and she been get dizzy in the mornings. She’s going to see Doctor Horse about it, she’ll be here for the main event, whatever it is.”

“I see, every-pony settled in.”

“We’re making ourselves comfortable.”

“Good,” he looked around “I see you’ve decided to sleep with the others.”, Flash nodded “I don’t think I’m any better than any-pony else.”, Lionheart nodded “Humble as ever. What about Major Fields?”, Flash turned to the Major and Porter and his eyes widened “Major?”

The old officer and his Steward seemed to be setting up a tent like structure, the Major turned to Flash “Yes?”

“What are you doing?”

“Make an officer’s quarters. Officers don’t sleep with the unranked, bad for discipline, got to show them who’s in charge.”

“Major,” Flash said sternly going to his fall height “who is in charge here?”

“Well, you sir, but I’m in charge of the reserves.”

“Most of the Everfree Guard, yes. But I’m your superior officer, get that down immediately.”

“Yes sir.”

The call from the mess went through the camp and the Platoon quickly ran for it. Flash left last and as they walked pulled Porter aside “What was that tent about?”

“It was standard camping procedure back went the Major was with the Fifth Hoof, old habits die hard.”

“I see, just keep an eye on him during parades, if he goes against my wishes for this guard company I want you to report them to me, and I’ll give him a real stern debriefing.”

“Understood sir.”

Caramel walked in first “That was a wizard meal.”

Behind him Vigil smiled as, with her wing, she scrubbed her mess tin “You’re right there, it wasn’t half bad.” She put her eating utensils down and spoke again “There really doing the best to make us feel comfortable.”

“I don’t think the Major thought it was that good, he left early. That seedcake was nice though.” Caramel said picking his teeth.

Waddle spoke up “Unfortunately I can’t eat caraway seeds, they give me indigestion.”, Vigil looked at the elderly Padre’s mess tin to find a slice of the seedcake “Then why’d that bit with you?”

“Oh, I thought I might eat it later after I picked the seeds out.”, Vigil rolled her eyes and she muttered “Silly old fool.” Then she saw something in the corner of the tent.

A few blankets strung up on a thick piece of string tied to the nearest pole. A small notice on it which she read out “Office’s Quarters. NCOs and Unranked must ask permission for entry.”, the rest of the platoon gathered around. Vigil started fuming “Luna, the Major’s completely disregarded an order from Captain Sentry.”

Caramel then added “Don’t you mean Captain-General Prince Flash Sentry?”, she glared at him “Don’t be silly boy. He’s Captain of the Everfree Guard, so we call him such, it’s any-pony outside this company who call him Prince or General. Anyway, he’s head of the reserves, we’re a civilian army, Captain Sentry’s still got years of service in the EUP Guards, the Major retired years ago.”

Just then Flash walked in with Porter. Vigil called over and showed them the set up. Porter face hoofed. A fearsome scowl appeared on Flash’s face, he snorted he fury “Where is the Major?” he growled.

“Ah, evening chap.” The Major called as he walked in “Had a nice tea?”, the platoon glared at him. He cleared his throat “I think we’ll be very comfortable here. I’m going to play some gramophone records in my quarters, any requests?”

Vigil spoke up “What about Don’t Fence Me In?”

“I haven’t got that one Miss Vigil.”

“Major.” Flash said, the platoon parted, the General turned around and walked up “I gave you a direct order take that down.”

“And I did, just before dinner. You never said I couldn’t put back up after dinner.”

Porter groaned “Sweet Celestia sir, you’re only making it worse.”

“What do you mean? I’ve treating myself with the upmost respect as an officer. Miss Grey told me a saying by Eastern Thinker Master Cog, “Respect yourself and others will respect you.””

Zecora stepped forward “Another saying from my village school, “We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.”.”

Reverend Farthing walked up beside her “Because you’re acting so high and mighty Major the platoon is beginning to see you fall.”

Flash nodded “Times have changed Major, what did I say before about the Everfree Guard? We eat together, sleep together and fight together. If you won’t do one of those things, then it’s likely the rest of the platoon won’t let you do the others.”

The Major gulped and he looked around at the glares about the tent, he returned to Flash “Yes sir.”

“Get that down, now.”

“Yes sir.”

“And you are strictly forbidden to put it up again.”

“Yes sir.” And the Major quickly set to work.

The platoon started congratulating Flash.

Then the Sergeant-Major walked in, he saluted Flash and spoke “Pay attention every-pony. You’ll be glad to know you’ll all of duty until lights out at twenty-two hundred hours. Now, there’s a free issue of two pints of cider each in the canteen. We’re not giving you anymore because for some mysterious reason Princess Celestia wants you all sober in the morning.”, the platoon chuckled and Cold Steel spoke up “Don’t worry Sergeant-Major, we shall be up bright and early, ready and steady.”

The Sergeant-Major nodded “Good fellow, carry on.” And he walked out.

The Major finished taking the blankets down and walked up to the platoon “What did the Sergeant-Major want?”, Porter explained and the Major smiled “Oh, splendid. We’ll have a convivial evening.” He turned to Flash “What about you sir?”

“I’d better not, I don’t like alcohol very much. I imagine most of you will think that because I believe the body is a temple to God and must be preserved, but not really, I just don’t like the taste.”

“Ah,” another voice called. The platoon stood to attention as Sir Lionheart walked in “there you two are. How about coming down to the Officer’s Mess for a drink and a chat?”

The Major grinned “Oh really? How very kind of you sir, yes.” He turned to Flash “What about you sir?”

Flash looked unsure and glanced around the tent, Chrome Blade and Dauntless Doo looked encouraging at him, Flash sighed and turn back “Alright sir, just a couple, I’ll just want the chat.”

“Oh,” Lionheart laughed “we’ll see.”

The Major turned to Porter “Do you want to come Porter?”

“I’d better not sir, I’m remember the last time you brought me to drinks in the Officer’s Mess.”

“When was that? I can’t remember.”

“Of course, you wouldn’t sir.”, the Major nodded in understanding and addressed the Platoon “Do forgive me chaps. Have a good evening all of you. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”, Vigil glared at both the Major and Flash as they left with Sir Lionheart.

Sir Lionheart opened the door and the Unicorn attendant keep it open, the Royal Knight nodded.

Around the table sat three other ponies, Shining Armour being one. A middle-aged Unicorn mare and a Bat Pony stallion being the other two. Lionheart introduced them “General Sentry, Major Fields let me introduce the fellows. You of course know Shining Armour.”

“Yes,” Flash saluted “good to see you again sir.”, Shining smiled and shook his head “You don’t need to call me sir Flash, we’re brothers now, you’re a Captain of a Guard, so we’re equal here.”, Flash grinned and sat down. The Major saluted “Greetings your Highness.”, Shining held up his hoof “Please none of that Major Fields, we’re all solider here.”

“Very well Captain Armour.” And the Major sat down. Lionheart cleared his throat now to introduce the others he pointed to the Unicorn “Gift Thicket, Captain of the Day Guard.” Then to the Bat Pony “Night Rain, Captain of the Night Guard.” He turned to the attendant “And this is Thicket’s Steward Private Listener.”

Thicket turned to her steward “Same again all round Listener.”

“Yes ma’am.” And the Unicorn prepared drinks in tankards.

The Major took is cap of and turned to Thicket “How do you do?”, Thicket nodded “How do you do? Sorry we didn’t get to talk much during Operation Half’s Wheel.”, they shook hooves, Thicket looked at the insignia sown to the Major’s sleeve, a recent addition to his uniform “So Fifth Regiment of Hoof?” she asked as Listener put the drinks down on the table.

Flash followed Lionheart and Shining Armour by adding soda water to his.

The Major took his pint “That’s right. Forty years of service, half of that under Coronal Square. Pompous chap but a great old solider, could never get one of the Captain’s name right, fellow by the name of Toolmake, mind you Toolmake was a bit of twit himself, he spelt it Tollmache, so Captain Square called him Tollmash.”

Lionheart and Thicket laughed and Thicket spoke up “We had something similar with my first regiment. It was formed centuries ago by a noble-mare and her name was spelt Belvoir, but for some reason she pronounced it Beaver. And so, when we entered Lady Belvoir’s Regiment thinking it classy we find it was in fact Lady Beaver’s Regiment.”

The older ponies and Shining laughed. Flash glanced to Night Rain who shrugged.

Thicket recovered “I brought up your Regiments Fields because before the Saddle Arabian Campaign of 958 to 961 we had a Corporal-Pioneer from the Fifth Hoof join us. Bungee something.”

The Major blinked and turned to her “Not Corporal Bungee Potts?”, Thicket banged the table with a smile “That’s him. “Potty” we called him, never saw any-pony so hyper and jokey, well, until Pinkie Pie came the Grand Galloping Gala.”, every-pony groaned and shook their head.

“Yes,” the Major said, “read about it in the Liverypool Street Herald, then there was the Gala before last.”

Shining Armour looked up “You read that?”

The Major shrugged “A good laugh in the morning after reading the Ponyville Express.” He turned back to Thicket “Tell me Thicket what did old Bungee get up to when he was with you?”

“Well during the campaign, he got made a Second-Lieutenant and the stuff he got up to in the Officer’s Mess…”

The Platoon sat around, many looking solemn and put off.

Vigil took a sip of her cider before putting it down “This is the end. As soon as I get back to Ponyville I’m resigning. I’m not serving under either Fields, or Sentry anymore. The Major’s getting to big for his horseshoes, and just when we think Sentry’s the progressive Prince of the people, he goes to grovel with the officers. We’re being commanded by a pompous oaf and a hypocrite.”

Zecora pushed her bottles away. Cameral grabbed them up.

Mr Waddle spoke up “I don’t think Prince Flash is to blame, I think he simply wanted to send time with his mentor, Princess Twilight told me that Sir Lionheart trained Flash.”

Lucky looked down the table to him “That leaves the Major.”

Porter took a sip of his cider before speaking “On that I can tell you Major Fields never turned down an invite to drinks in the Officer’s Mess. When we were in the Fifth Hoof the Major rarely got invited, Coronal Square was such a terrible bore, he never liked the Major, so he would drink with the NCOs and the unranked. This is only for one night I can assure you.”

Cold Steel looked to Porter “If Coronal Square didn’t like the Major then how come he became a Major?”

“Orders from above. He’d been a Captain when I was assigned as his Steward after transferring from the Signals, but when one of the Majors retired, and I think he was a Royal Knight, he personally recommended Fields to Princess Celestia, and Coronal Square could not turn down the Princess. And thus, the rest is history.”

Thicket barely contained her laughter as she finished the story “…and so Bungee galloped into the Mess with the croquet mallet and the fan puller, who was asleep at the time, went on pulling the fan with his back hoof.”, she, the Major and Lionheart burst out laughing.

Night Rain downed his drink and Shining and Flash stared agape at the story. Flash plucked up courage “Potts really did all that just before the legendary Battle of Ambleman?”

“Yes,” Thicket said, “what a night that was!”

The Major nudged her “Whatever happened to old Bungee?”

She shook her head “Afraid he might have gotten killed in the battle, never saw him after that. Never forgot him though, kept our morale up.”

The Major looked to Listener “Can you top up my drink?”

“Of course, sir.” And he did. The Major turned to Thicket “A toast to old Bungee Potts, wherever he may be.”, Thicket nodded and bagged her pint to his and they downed them. Thicket wiped the froth from her mouth and then sorted “I remember his first night in the Mess in Buckdad, when General Kitchens made him a Mustang.”

Night Rain swallowed his drink hard and start coughing. He, Lionheart and the Major turned to Thicket wide-eyed and laughing. Lionheart spoke next “How did he do?”

“Went through it like a lamb, I think he quite enjoyed it.”, the Major nodded “That sounds like Bungee, he was always sneaking in drink when no-pony was looking.”

Night Rain leaned in his chair “Celestia, that takes me back. I haven’t seen any-pony made a Mustang for donkey’s years.”

Flash looked to Lionheart “What’s a Mustang?”, Flash did have knowledge of a group of rural Earth Ponies, in the area around Dodge City and Appleloosa, apparently forty years ago they proclaimed their village, about a square mile land in total, an independent republic, Mustangia, but absolutely no official recognition has been made.

Shining spoke “I’ve heard of it, a status thing between officers, right?”

Lionheart nodded “Just a ceremony we old soldiers used to do in the Mess.”

Flash plucked up courage “What do you have to do?”, the Major looked to him and laughed “Why? Do you want to be made one?”, Flash nodded.

Lionheart grinned and patted his apprentice on the back and looked to the gathered “Shall we?”, the others started laughing.

Thicket looked over to Shining “What about you Armour?”, Shining shook his head “I promised Cadance I’d stay level-headed, I need to look after Flurry when I get back to the Crystal Empire.”, Thicket nodded “Far enough, you handle this Major.”

“Thank you. Alright here we go Flash. It goes like this. To start you say, ‘Here’s to the health of Mustang Puff for the first time.’ And you tap the table once with your right hoof, with you left hoof.” He demonstrated the action “You stamp the floor with your right hoof once, you stamp the floor with you left hoof once. You bang your pint on the table once, and you take one drink.”

Flash nodded.

“If you get that correct you then say, ‘Here’s to the health of Mustang Puff-Puff for the second time.’ And you tap the table with your right hoof twice, you tap the table with you left hoof twice, you stamp you right hoof twice, you stamp your left hoof twice, you bag your pint on the table twice, and you take two drinks, you see.” He laughed.

Flash narrowed his eyes.

“When you done with that you say, ‘Here’s to the health of Mustang Puff-Puff-Puff for the third, and last time.’ Ha. And you tap the table with you right hoof three times, your left hoof three times, and you stamp your right hoof three times, and your left hoof three times, you bang your pint on the table three times, one, two, three and you take three drink. And then you’re done.” He laughed “Now have you got that.”

Flash muttered the actions “Table with hooves, right, left. Ground right and left. Pint on table. Drinks. Increase on each go.” He looked to the Major “Seems straightforward to me.”, the table laughed and Thicket said, “That’s what they all say.”

The Major nodded “Yes, but there’s a rule to this, if you get something wrong you have drain your pint and start that section again. If you pass out or forfeit without completing all the sections that determines your status among other Mustangs.”

“If any.” Shining muttered.

Flash looked around “Any of you Mustangs?”

The Major, Lionheart and Night Rain raised their hooves. The Major turned to Thicket “You’re not a Mustang?”

“Oh, I feel a Lady shouldn’t drink to excess. I enjoy the fun of it, but I’d be useless at it. So, what are your ranks gentle-colts? I know First Health is the lowest and Third Health is the highest.”

Lionheart sighed, shut his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck “I’m a First Health.”, they all stared “I know, Royal Knight and only First Health, I cannot handle my drink so well, we already had a few before we started.”

The Major scoffed “I’m Second Health, Coronal Square almost laughed his mutton chops off with my failures of the Third Health.”

Every-pony turned to Night Rain “First.” He muttered

Flash let out a sigh of relief and looked to his mentor “All I know is I want to at least be equal with you sir.”, Lionheart grinned and nodded “Let’s not waste time boy.”

“Okay.” Flash reared up “Here’s to the health of Mustang Puff for the first time.” Right tap. Left tap. Right stamp. Left stamp. Then Flash took the tankard and raised it to his lips.

“Wrong!” every-pony called. Flash looked about a bit confused. The Major laughed “You forgot to bang your drink on the table. Start again, and drain your pint.”

Flash downed his cider. Listener filled it again.

Vigil sneered and covered her ears “Just listen to them will you. Disgraceful. Those are our leaders and there shouting and joking like foals at playtime.”

Lucky looked at her “Don’t give them that. This is probably a treat to Captain Sentry, it was his mentor who invited them and the Major did ask us to forgive him, it probably a trip down memory lane for him.”

Cold Steel started talking as he drained the last bits of cider from the bottles around him “Well I can tell you while I was a solider in Saddle Arabia, there were some terrible goings on in the Officer’s Mess, it was alarming. Right before the Battle of Ambleman one lieutenant ran in there with a croquet mallet. Celestia only knows what he did with it. But I’ll tell you one thing, if you drank too much out in that heat it would turn you into a gibbering idiot.”

Lucky snorted while drinking, he swallowed before speaking “Luna you much have had barrels full back then.”, Cold Steel just laughed.

Porter and Zecora shook Caramel who lay face slumped on the table. Porter looked toward where the sound came from “From the sounds of it their making some-pony a Mustang.”

Cold Steel coughed his drink “They’re not!”, Porter shushed him “Just listen.”

Faintly they heard some-pony say, “Here’s to the health of Mustang Puff-Puff for the second time.”

Cold Steel blinked “So they are. Who is it?”

“I can’t quite make it out, it can’t be the Major he’s already a Second Health and it can only be done once.”

Time Turner looked around from where he sat “What’s a Mustang?”, Porter and Cold Steel look at each other and began explaining.

Flash steadied himself on the table “Here’s,” he shook himself “to the health, of Mustang Puff-Puff-Puff, Puff…”

“Wrong!”

“What?”, the Major bagged the table laughed “Too many puffs.”

“Oh? I’ve got to drain the cider again?”, they all nodded, Flash gulped and downed it.

Shining watched with curiosity and dread, like watching a train wreck. He wanted to look away, seeing one of the finest lieutenants he ever worked with, and the husband of his sister becoming a drunken wreck. But he just couldn’t look away, part of him wanted Flash to succeed.

“Here’s, to the health, of Mustang Puff,” he nodded his head as his recited it “Puff, Puff, for the third, and last time.”

“Thank goodness.” Shining muttered.

Right hoof tapping. One. Two. Three. Left hoof tapping. One. Two. Three. Right hoof stamping. One. Two. Three. Left hoof stamping. One. Two. Three. Tankard banging. One. Two. Three.

Flash lifted the drink to his lip. His other hoof propped himself up. One sip. Two. He swallowed it. Looked at it. Shut his eyes and downed it. Turned the tankard upside-down and slammed it on the table. He sat down.

The table erupted into cheers.

The Major called for a toast. Flash steadying himself as the all stood up. The Major held out his pint “To Captain-General Flash Sentry, Third Health of the Ancient and Ignoble Order of Mustangs. Cheers.”

“Cheers.” Flash said. And here poured his cider onto the Major’s head. The others laughed. Flash grinned and fell backward.

Shining, and Lionheart went to his side.

The Major wiped the cider out of his mane but laughed, he turned to Lionheart “You really picked a good one Lionheart.” He downed his drink and sighed “I think myself and Flash will retire for the night.”

Shining looked up “We’re going to need some held. Flash is out cold.”

Thicket smirked “I’m not surprised with all that cider.”

The Major shook his head “No worry I’ll go get help from my troops.”, he said slightly slurred, he started walking out and swayed a little.

The platoon sat sleep in the tent.

The Major felt his hoof against the canvas trying to find the door. He opened the flap but couldn’t get in at first, for he didn’t open the flap wide enough and his shoulder went into the pole. He tripped as he inched through the gap as he got up he fell back “Dash revolving doors.” He muttered as he stood up again. He stumbled about trying to find Porter. His shoulder hit a pole, which he mistook for another pony and he walked to the end of the tent, only the wrong side.

Cold Steel crept up behind him and covered the Major with his mosquito net “I’ve got an intruder boys!” he yelled. Every-pony woke up.

Steel took the net off the head and blinked “Sorry Major, I thought you were a Akhal-Teke.”

“It’s quite alright Steel, but,” he shook his head “I’m going need help getting Captain Flash in here, he passed out.”

Porter walked “Dear Celestia, don’t tell me he was the one being made the Mustang.”

“Indeed, he was, made all the way to the end. Remarkable young stallion.”

“What’s Princess Twilight going to think?”, the Major suddenly went sober “Nightmare Moon! I hadn’t thought of that, and Prince Shining Armour was with us.”

“Oh Luna!” Porter said, “Come on all the stronger one, follow me.”, they hurried to the Officer’s Mess.

Flash came around, partly because to the shocking headache and because of something warm pressing against his body lightly shaking him, he knew what the second would be, but he couldn’t remember exactly when and how the first came in. His eyes felt tired as he opened them. Sure, enough his gaze got graced by his favourite sight, Twilight, but his mind slowly worked out, she looked before concerned and angry at the same time. He tried to move but his head hurt.

“Here.” Said a voice and a glass of water with a fizzing table appeared before him, Flash glanced sideway and meet the annoyed glare of Spike. Flash took the glass and sipped the drink. His headache lessened slightly allowing him to get up. “What happened last night?” he looked about at the empty tent and memories of yesterday came back.

However, Twilight beat his mind to yesterday evening and explained what she knew about the drinking game. Flash hoof went to his head “God dammit, I am never going to take alcohol again.”

“Flash,” Twilight said and he glanced over to her, her eyes narrowed “Do not take the name of the Lord in vain.”

Flash rolled his eyes “Twi, that’s not what that means, it means, do not commit evil in God’s name.”

“Oh, that makes more sense I guess. But I also glad you’re not going to drink alcohol again, we’ve got some important news.”

“Something happened in Everfree?”

“Not quite. You need your ceremonial dress on. You’ll be needed in the Throne Room.” She kissed him on the check and walked out. Spike followed behind and as soon as he left the tent ran into her flank. As he got up he saw what made Twilight stop. The rest of the Council of Friendship stood with questioning looks.

Rainbow spoke first “Don’t take the name of the Lord in vain?”, Twilight blushed and spoke “I’ll explain, just can we get to the Throne Room.”

As they walked she explained about her reasons for becoming Silver Enlightened, but she decided to leave out the secrets about Celestia and Luna, and about Alicorns, “I kept it a secret because I didn’t know how you’d react, would you think me mad for become religious?”

“Twilight,” Applejack said “why would we think you mad? To be honest we were wondering about this Silver Enlightenment about the time Mr Waddle became Padre of the Home Guard, and then Farthing moves in, kind off left field.”

“Yeah!” Pinkie said, “Why didn’t you say, I could have thrown a “Twilight’s Baptism Party”, it would have been great!”

Twilight raised an eyebrow “How do you know about baptisms?”

“A friend.”

Presently they entered the Throne Room. Twilight joined Celestia and Luna, she stood beside Sir Lionheart. The small number gathered, the other Captains of the Guard, seven other Royal Knights. The Sentry Family and Twilight’s parents, and the rest of the Everfree Guard.

The doors opened again and Flash in full dress walked in slowly, with nervousness and confusion. When he reached the thrones, he bowed.

Celestia smiled “You don’t have to bow Prince Flash.”

“I know your Majesty, your Highnesses, it’s just you all deserve it.”, Twilight giggled “Flash, it’s you we’re honouring today.”, he looked up surprised “Me?”

Lionheart nodded “Yes Flash, after careful consideration, and because of my observations yesterday, and last night, it’s been decided, unanimously by Princess Celestia, Luna and the current Royal Knights, to welcome you into our ranks.”

Flash blinked “Wait, me, a Royal Knight?”

Lionheart laughed “What else boy? I’ve been pushing for it for almost a year now.”

Luna nodded “I however was unsure if you did have the authority to be a Royal Knight, which is partially why I brought up Twilight’s lack of a Guard.”, Celestia nodded and glanced at Twilight, then to Shining Armour “We had reason to test you.” She charged her magic and brought out an amulet with an ornate seal, and a long and ancient ceremonial sword. Below the hilt were letters of gold, Flash couldn’t read them but he knew the sword of the Order, the sword of Bullion.

“Flash Sentry.” Celestia said, she tapped the sword on his shoulders “You are charged to serve Equestria, fight the good fight, and do no wrong. Evil be on the one who thinks evil.”

The Royal Knights repeated the last statement, the motto of the Order. The amulet fell around his neck, it felt so surreal.

Twilight fluttered down “Flash, one more thing. If you hadn’t been made a Royal Knight this would have been the main announcement.” She then whispered “Celestia and Luna already know, they came to see me at the hospital when I got told the news.”

Flash gasped, Twilight smiled and nodded, she then turned to the gather “Every-pony, I’m pregnant!”, Flash immediately covered his ears as the room erupted into cheers. He felt so light headed, even more so than with all the cider. He passed out.

The Mystery Tour

Autumn came close to ending and the day of Nightmare Nights arrived, this special holiday falls on the last full moon of the season. Ponies would dress up and have fun being scared. Fluttershy already told Cipher of her arrangement. Cipher in this instant felt torn, he wanted to spend time with his mare-friend but Nightmare Nights sounded like the only time he could use his disguise magic and not feel ashamed about old habits. Then he remembered King Thorax’s teaching about compromise, something his Majesty learned while living in the Crystal Empire.

The two talked it out and came to an arrangement, Fluttershy could spend the night at Cipher’s house hiding in the spare room with a couple of her animal friends for company. Angel insisted he came, much to Riolu’s annoyance, but Fuzzy-Legs the spider and Harry the bear came along too. Cipher, given his arthropod natural liked Fuzzy-Legs, and Riolu found a friend in Harry, the silly old bear. While the animals kept Fluttershy company Cipher would greet the foals, and Pinkie who would come to the door. He needed to think about his appearance, what would he appear as?

But he still needed to do his day job before the night, and indeed he would be spending the afternoon on a special job too. Miss Cheerilee and the Cakes arranged a Mystery Tour for the afternoon, something to do with the Cakes Twins birthday, this being their second, but Cipher also remember Mrs Cake promising to take the twins to Canterlot today as well, this left him somewhat confused.

On his rounds for the morning he spoke with the two newest arrivals to Ponyville.

Prince Blueblood, who finally moved into town to start teaching young Aura about the energy of Aura, and now with a full fledge Aura Guardian, a AG in training and a Jakhowl in town Discord felt less sure about causing trouble for Princess Twilight and Company. Blueblood allow began to teach Riolu more on the Aura as well, but given his position in Canterlot and a new hobby as a journalist and columnist for the Ponyville Express he didn’t have much time to do much else.

The other Mr Morals Waterbury, Cipher couldn’t quite understand what happened to him, but both he and King Thorax testified in Princess Luna’s investigation on the matter, partially funded by Lord Blue Moon. Cipher’s testimony proved the most useful and verifiable given his, closeness, to Her Tragedy, he said no pony by the name of Morals Waterbury ever got involved in the Secret Invasion. So, coupled with the information provided by the remaining member of the Waterbury Family he got pardoned and released. The family remained quite poor, but both Princess Twilight and Mayor Mare rectified this by appointing Morals the Everfree Kingdom’s new Foreign Secretary with a salary equal to his pay at during his time in the Canterlot Foreign Office.

It started in the morning when Windy Miller, out with the eggs and milk meet Mrs Cake in the High Street, they greeted each other and Windy assured her Sugarcube Corner would get its regular delivery.

Mrs Cake went on her way to the Post Office, with a big parcel, so big she needed to pull it on a small trolley. She opened the door and found no-pony at the counter “Shop?” she called “Any-pony in.”

From the door leading into the Doo House Muffins peaked out with a basket of muffins in her mouth. She put them under the counter and smiled “Hello Mrs Cake. I just finished with the day’s complimentary muffins, do you want one?”

Mrs Cake smiled “Oh, I would love one, but I can’t stop. I don’t want to be late taking the twins to Canterlot.”, Muffins walked up with smiling confusion, she put the parcel on the scales to work out the price of postage “Not too disappointed about missing the tour our they?”

Mrs Cake smiled “Oh, they’re too excited about their birthday treat to worry about the tour. We’ll be back by this evening so we can join in the fun and get ready for Nightmare Nights.” She pulled out her purse “How much for the parcel?”

Muffins looked at the scale again “That’ll be, three bits please.” She took it off “Talking about children Dauntless was telling me Princess Twilight’s already starting to act funny over her pregnancy, rumours are going about that she may be carrying multiples.”

Mrs Cake blinked “Really? I’ve heard nothing from Pinkie about it, although she is busy setting up both the Nightmare Nights party and the surprise at the end of the Mystery Tour.” She paid and left.

She made it back to Sugarcube Corner and started putting cupcakes and other confectionaries in view for customers, on her back sat her Pegasus son, Pound Cake, he held a plate in his hoofs, Mrs Cake took it in her mouth and put it on the counter, then she kissed her son “Thank you sweetheart.”, Pound giggled and hugged “Welcome Mommy.”

From the kitchen, Mr Carrot Cake pushed a small trolley with an un-iced cake into the room he glanced at his daughter Pumpkin Cake and smiled, using her magic she levitated one of the icing bags “You’re getting very good at magic Pumpkin, keep this up and we might sign you up for Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.”, Pumpkin’s face faulted slightly “But I like it here Daddy. I don’t want to leave Pound alone.”, Pound flew down beside his sister and they both said at once “We’re twins, we should be together.”

Pinkie came out from her room and the twins turned and grew excited “Auntie Pinkie!” they shouted and ran to her, Pinkie held her hoofs out and hugged them “Hi guys,” she giggled “Do you always have to run into my like I’ve been away so long?”

“You’re great Pinkie,” Pound said and Pumpkin nodded “You are so much fun.”, then they said together “We love fun.”

Just then the shop door opened with the ring off the bell. Cipher walked in levitating a load of post “Good morning all.” He said as he gave three letters, a postcard and a parcel to Mr Cake, then walked over to Pinkie and gave the remaining letter to her, Pinkie mane took the letter because both hooves still held the twins.

Cipher stepped back “I can’t stop I’m afraid, lots of letters today, and I need to get them done early” And he quickly walked out.

Pinkie sighed “Just when I wanted to talk.”, a blue aura covered the envelop and opened it, Pinkie glanced at Pumpkin and smiled, she then read the letter and gasped with excitement, she then started bouncing up and down, the twin cheered and laughed.

Mrs Cake rushed over, stopped her and quickly took the twins from her “Celestia Pinkie, what’s gotten you excited?”

“Cheese Sandwich is coming!”, the foal started cheering too. Mrs Cake looked to her husband “This is going to be… interesting.”

“Interesting?” Pinkie said, “It’s going to be exciting!”, last time Cheese came to Ponyville was on Rainbow Dash’s Birthday and Anniversary of her arrival to Ponyville, and Pinkie planned to make that year’s party big, which caught the attention of Cheese, the Super-Duper Party Pony.

His presence and performance caught the attention of townsfolk of Ponyville, but at the expense of Pinkie, she initially thought her skills couldn’t match that of a professional party pony who travel from place to place. However, she resolved to prove herself as Ponyville’s premiere party pony so challenged Cheese to a Goof Off, a contest, with Rainbow as the judge where the two would compete to be the silliest.

During her turn, Pinkie over did it and caused an accident which annoyed Rainbow. Pinkie realised she’d put her own desires in front of her friend’s and broke the promise she made to Rainbow Dash earlier in the day. So, she forfeited the contest and gave the win to Cheese.

Thinking she could no longer be a party pony she decided to leave, but naturally her friends convinced not to leave. And surprisingly Cheese Sandwich revealed his history, as a colt he left his birthplace of Manehatten, and when he reached Ponyville he stumbled onto a party held by a young Pinkie Pie, it inspired him to be a party pony. In fact, the reason why Cheese came to Ponyville was to impress Pinkie.

The two reconciled and together made the biggest birthday bash in Ponyville history, it had even been documented as one of the best events in the history of the Everfree Kingdom.

The only question now was why Cheese Sandwich would be coming, most likely to help with the Nightmare Nights party. Pinkie stopped and blinked before gasping again “I’ve got to get some ideas now and fast. I can’t tell Cheese I’ve got nothing.” She rushed behind the counter and pulled a leaver, a trap door opened and she jumped in, the closed after her.

Mr and Mrs Cake looked at each other, Carrot spoke first “Sounds like she’s got a crush on Sandwich.”, Cup nodded and went to the door “I’m sure it’ll all work out. Now dear, you’ve got the deliveries, haven’t you?”

“Oh, thanks for reminding me.” He went to pick up and packed boxes, Pound and Pumpkin trotted up to them. Pound took off from the floor and picked up a box and Pumpkin levitated one as well. Mr Cake smiled proudly at his kids “Thanks for the help gingersnaps.”

“You’re welcome Daddy.” They chimed and the three went outside to start packing the cart.

Mrs Cake smiled as well.

On the hill road lead into the town a yellow and lanky Earth Pony stood with a poncho and Stetson hat, a rubber chicken with its own Stetson sitting on his back. As he spoke the party blower in his mouth wiggled around “Yes sir Boneless Two, Ponyville is priming for a real blast of a party, I reckon Pinkie Pie will be needing help, what do you say?” He glanced at the prop which sagged slightly before squeaking, Cheese nodded “I hear you, we’d better get moving, this party may be a dozy, but what’s it all about?”

He walked into town and almost immediately b-lined for the castle on the outskirts, both impressed and confused, to the stallion it looked out of place. He would have gone further, but then he felt the weight on his back, however minuscule, lighten, he quickly turned around and saw Boneless Two being levitated in a blue magical aura and floating towards a unicorn filly with an orange mane. Before Cheese could say anything the foot of his rubber chicken ended up chewed upon by said filly. Cheese yelp and pulled on Boneless Two’s neck, the prop stretched and the filly continued chewing.

To the ponies around them they looked with confusion or amusement as the stallion they recognised as Cheese Sandwich played tug of war with Pumpkin Cake.

“Pumpkin!” said a voice, the filly let go of Boneless and Cheese fell backwards and in fact rolled and lost his hat. Feeling dizzy he shook himself and looked back as Mr Cake talked sternly to her daughter “Pumpkin Cake, what have I, Mommy and Pinkie Pie said about chewing things that aren’t food?”, Pumpkin frowned, her ears slicked back and looked to the ground “It’s wrong, a bad habit, and I could choke.”

“That’s right. Now say you’re sorry to the stallion.”, Pumpkin nodded and turned to Cheese, who brushed himself down, “Sorry sir. I can’t control myself sometimes.”

“Oh, it’s no problem my little pony.” Cheese said, his voice no longer serious, he could be serious in front of a foal, he loved kids.

Mr Cake blinked “Cheese Sandwich?”

“The one and only,” he paused a chuckled “I was going to say the one and only super-duper party pony, but there’s Pinkie of course. Speaking of which where is she?”

“Oh, she’s in Sugarcube Corner. Didn’t really expect you to be back so soon, Pinkie only got your letter this morning.”

“When you travel around Equestria as much as I do, you get a lot stamina and speed.” He shook slightly “Wow, my Cheesy Sense is really drawn to Pinkie, this party she’s planning must be important.”, Carrot nodded and explained, Cheese smiled and nodded fast “I get it,” his back kegs start moving and built up speed “Got to get moving, so much to do, so little time.” And he sped off towards the confectionary bakery. Then he suddenly stopped and rushed past Carrot again “Forgot me hat.” And again, gone like shot.

Cipher meanwhile parked the Mail Coach outside and went inside the Post Office “I hope I don’t get lost. Then again, getting lost might be part of the fun.”

Muffins chuckled “It’s make a change from delivering the post.”, he nodded before asking aloud “I wonder where Cheerilee is taking us?” He glanced up at the clock on the wall and blinked “Sweet Celestia, is that the time? I must be off, they’ll be waiting for me at the Schoolhouse. Bye for now.” And he sped-walked out.

He flew onto the driver’s seat, started the Coach up and drove off. He passed Chrome Blade on his midday patrol “Morning Cipher.”

“Morning.” Hell called back and Riolu barked.

Cipher arrived at the school right on time. The bell rang and Miss Cheerilee opened the door. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon hopped out first, then Crackle Pop, Dinky Doo, Featherweight and Pipsqueak, the CMC along with Tender Taps, Button Mash and Rumble, then at the back First Base, and Autumn and Stone Waterbury. Miss Cheerilee counted out the foals, all those allowed on the tour today anyway.

Firelight considered herself a little too old for a treasure hunt.

Snips got grounded for actions earlier in the week and Snails decided to brush up on his Buck-ball skills to try out for the recently announced junior league.

And Aura had aura training with Prince Blueblood, she took any opportunity she could.

Cheerilee smiled as the Waterbury Foals passed by “No-pony missing.” She grabbed a saddlebag and put it on her back.

Cipher walked up to the excited and chatting crowd “Hello every-pony, ready to go when you are. But where to?”

Miss Cheerilee giggled, she truly kept the Tour a mystery, she reached into the saddlebag and pulled out a yellow envelope “Well, I think some-pony should read out the first clue.” She turned to the foals “Who’s it to be?”, the foals immediately cried out at once to be the one. Miss Cheerilee smiled and gave the envelope to Scootaloo who took it out and read it “Find a spinning granny, she’d give you some thread.”

Diamond Tiara narrowed her eyes “A spinning granny? What kind of nonsense is that?”

Dinky Doo nodded “She’d get dizzy.”

“Now then children.” Cheerilee said “We want to be home before dark, so have a good think, they we’ll be off. First how can a granny spin without getting dizzy.”

Sweetie Belle looked over Scootaloo’s shoulder “It say something about a thread, Rarity told me it was common for mare a hundred years ago to use spinning wheels.”

Apple Bloom started bouncing up and down “I know who has a spinning wheel! Granny Smith!”, all the foals, and Cipher looked at her and she explained “She and her mommy used to spin thread for clothes in the early days of Sweetie Apple Arches. Granny keeps it in her room.”

Cheerilee nodded “Shall we go and see?” she turned to Cipher “First stop, Sweet Apple Arches Cipher, if you please.”, the Changeling chuckled “I think I know where that is.” He went to the Mail Coach and helped the foals in. He turned to the teacher “You’d better sit up top with me Cheerilee, just in case we get lost.” They climbed aboard and they start off on the tour.

As the Mail Coach slowly rolled through and out the town the foals started arguing. Diamond Tiara told Pipsqueak to stop blocking the view from the window. Crackle Pop got into a quarrel with Dinky when he proclaimed he’d figure out all the clues first. Cipher glanced down and then to Cheerilee “Were foals like this when you were they’re age?”, Cheerilee giggled and nodded.

They rolled into Sweet Apple Arches. Applejack and Big Mac came to help Cheerilee and Cipher keep the foals in order while they waited for Apple Bloom to get the clue, she did live here so she wouldn’t be invading. Apple Bloom ran to Granny Smith’s room and knocked. No reply, Apple Bloom frowned “Granny?”, she knocked again before she entered, then giggled.

Granny Smith sat asleep in her rocking chair next to the old spinning wheel. She wore an old moth bitten bonnet. Apple Bloom walked up and tapped her granny awake. Granny Smith jumped “Land sakes!” she looked down at Apple Bloom “I thought you were on the tour?”

Apple Bloom nodded “I am Granny, Miss Cheerilee sent me in to get the clue, every-pony else is waiting outside.”

“Gosh darn it, I must’ve fallen asleep.” She looked to the basket beside her “Now then, where’s that thread?” She looked about “What did I do with the cotton-picking thing?” then her hoof went to her bonnet “Oh yeah, I kept it under my bonnet for safe keeping.”

Apple Bloom giggled “You always lose stuff on the top of your head Granny, like your glasses.”, Granny chuckled and gave her the thread, a message wrapped around it, “Now you’d best be on your way Sugarcube, you’ve got a lot of touring to do, and I got a lot of work to do.”, Apple Bloom nodded and trotted out, when she heard Granny’s snoring again she giggled once more.

She got outside and read it out “Go to a place where the night is not dark, give the cotton thread to a lady.”

Diamond Tiara scratched her head and Silver Spoon questioned “Where the night is not dark?”, Diamond then spoke “But it’s always dark at night, it’s partly why we have Nightmare Nights to begin with.”

First Base tapped his hoof “Maybe it means a knight, as in a knight in shining armour.”

Autumn titled her head “Shining Armour? But we can’t go to the Crystal Empire, not in time to be back before dark.”, Stone smiled and shook his head “There is a knight in Ponyville, a Royal Knight,” First Base nodded and spoke out “Flash!”

Featherweight spoke up “What about the never dark part? Prince Flash has a dark blue mane?”

Crackle replied, “He’s wears bright armour.”

Button Mash then added “What about Major Fields? He has a suit of armour in Kimblewick Hall.”

Cheerilee, who for most of the time conversed with Big Mac, turned and spoke “Why don’t we go down the Castle of Friendship and see if Prince Flash is our Knight.”

Dinky then spoke “What about the lady? Princess Twilight is way above being a lady.”, Cheerilee giggled “Maybe we should go and find out.” She turned to Applejack and Big Mac “Goodbye, give my regards and thanks to Granny Smith.”

Applejack waved “You’re welcome, and we sure will.”

“Yep.”

As the foals climbing in Pipsqueak said, “I wish we could have this every, it’s much better than school.”, Stone nudged him “Pip, sometimes you don’t realise you’ll miss something until after it’s gone.”, Cipher looked down at hearing this and nodded, the Waterbury Family would know. He looked to the road and called out “All aboard for the Castle of Friendship.” He flicked the reigned and they rolled off. He only hoped the foals guessed correctly, you shouldn’t make a mistake on a Mystery Tour, otherwise you end up getting lost.

But they soon arrived at the Castle. And much to his surprise both the Major and Flash stood at the bottom of the entrance steps in their armour. The Major started to approach, the armour squeaked and clanked restricting his movement “Oh, blast this armour.” He turned to Flash “If you could sir.”, Flash chuckled and held up his hoof “Halt! The lady approaches.”

The doors opened and out walked none other than Miss Grey. Dressed in an ornate kimono, her mane tied in a long tail like her actual tail and a basket held in her wing, she curtsied “Lady Grey greets you, with my basket of surprises.” A scroll rested in said basket, “Now who’s to give me something?”

Sweetie Belle spoke up “You look lovely in that Miss Grey.”

“Thank you, Sweetie Belle. Now what about the basket?”, Apple Bloom stepped up and put the cotton thread into it and took out the scroll.”

Cheerilee called over “Give the scroll to First Base, he figured out the meaning of the knight in the last clue.”

First Base beamed as Apple Bloom gave the scroll over, he cleared his throat “It says, find a royal crown, in a very small town. Go post-haste, there is no time to waste.”

Apple Bloom glanced to the other CMC fillies and the three colts standing with them “Sound’s like Zecora wrote that one.”, they giggled.

Diamond Tiara tapped her hoof “Royal crown? We’ll excluding my flank, there’s the diadems Princess Twilight keeps inside the Castle.”

Flash shook his head “We’re not allowing any-pony inside right now.”

Silver Spoon spoke up “There’s a crown on the Mail Coach. The clue also said post-haste, we should try the Post Office.”

Miss Grey and the Major stood together and wished them luck as the tour continued. Flash returned inside to check on Twilight.

The foals started chattering again about the difficulty of the clues, Diamond and Silver praised themselves for figuring out the clue together.

It didn’t take them long to get back to the town and onto the High Street.

Outside the Post Office, Dauntless Doo and Muffins stood dressed up as well. Muffins tooted a toy horn. Dauntless looked the over way and smiled “Ah, here they come.”, Muffins giggled “I feel all funny dressed up like this.”

“I think you look lovely Ditzy.”, she giggled as the Mail Coach rolled in and she then yelled “Hooray for Ponyville.”, Dauntless glanced at her “Good grief Ditzy, you sound like you’re at a Hoof-ball match.”

The foals walked up and Crackle and Dinky looked confused and slightly embarrassed “Mom? Dad?” Crackle asked and Dinky followed with “Our you part of the Mystery Tour?”, they nodded and said together “We are.”

Diamond held out her hoof “Can me and Silver Spoon have the next clue, please?”

Muffins frowned and scratched her head “How did it go again?”, Dauntless rolled his eyes and spoke “Take the road to a place where a tree stands tall. Don’t let a stallion stop you if he should call.” He pointed to the horn in his wife’s hoof “Take and blow this trumpet then wait…”

Muffins then continued pulling a key from her dress pocket “And this key will later help you to open the gate.”

Cheerilee nodded “I think we can remember that. Thanks.”, Diamond and Silver took the key and the trumpet.

“Be careful,” Muffins called “see you soon.”

Surprisingly as they moved of this time the foals remained quiet. Cipher sighed with relief.

Then the toy trumpet sounded and Apple Bloom shouted “Tender! Stop with that darn noise!”, Cipher sighed and turned to Cheerilee “Was the trumpet your idea?”, she blushed with embarrassment.

They turned a corner in the road and reached the reach. Cipher’s eyes widened and he pulled the reins hard. The cart came to a sudden halt. Cipher, Cheerilee and Riolu stifled laughs.

On the road before them Time Turner stood dressed as a highway-pony, a robber who stole from travellers. He held his hoof out “Um… Stand and deliver!” he reached into his clock and struggled to pull something out “Great Whickering Stallions! The thing’s stuck!”

The foals got out and Pipsqueak scratched his head “What’s he doing Miss Cheerilee?”, the teacher giggled “I think he’s got something caught in his coat pocket.”

With a hard tug, he pulled out a feather dusters “Ah got you. Give me your bits or I’ll tickle you helpless!”

Cheerilee looked to Pipsqueak “Why don’t you ask Doctor Time Turner for the last clue?”

“Really?” he asked excitedly, he trotted over. Time Turner took his hat off and presented it to Pipsqueak, a message inside, the foal took it “Thanks Mr Highway-pony.” He returned to the others and read out the clue “You must find a straw pony, who works all day and he works all night. He stands quite still and gives the birds a fright. Blow the trumpet and unlock the gate.”

Tender Tap called out “I’ve got the trumpet.”, Apple Bloom rubbed her ear and shoved him slightly “We know.” She groaned.

Miss Cheerilee called down from the seat as the foal climbed aboard, “What about the straw pony?”

Rumble spoke up “A scarecrow? What about the robot in the field at the North-Eastern Windmill?”, Cheerilee nodded “That sounds like a good place to look.”

Cipher chuckled with confusion at just how the organiser managed to get one of the disasters of Ponyville into this tour. Still, he headed for the North-Eastern Windmill. On the way, Pipsqueak said he wanted to dress up like that for Nightmare Night.

They arrived at the Windmill and found the gate padlocked. The foals climbed down. Tender Tap blew the trumpet again as instructed. Diamond Tiara took the key out and fiddled with the padlock. She pushed the gate opened and walked into the yard. The Millers, the Cakes, Pinkie Pie, Cheese Sandwich and Fluttershy stood setting up tables of food and drink. Pinkie Pie turned as Tender blew the trumpet again and jumped excitedly “Just in time! Now we can Party!” party canons fired.

Mrs Cake called “I bet you’re all hungry, there’s plenty for every-pony.”

Cipher parked the Mail Coach in the yard and helped Riolu down. The Jakhowl ran to the table while Cipher went to join Fluttershy and get something to drink.

Time Turner stopped his Lorry outside and walked in on the party “Have you got something for a hungry Highway-pony?” he laughed. The other players in the Mystery Tour arrived, along with the rest of the Council of Friendship.

Cipher gave a glass of fruit juice to Fluttershy and asked, “What’s the mystery?”, she giggled “That you finally made it.”, he laughed “It was the foals who got us hear.”, she nodded and banged her glass to his “I’ll drink to that.” They took a sip and Cipher looked about at the ponies dressed up “I still don’t know what I’m going to do for Nightmare Nights,” he chuckled “Maybe I should disguise myself as a Vampire Bat Pony.”

Fluttershy’s smiled wavered slightly and she took a quiet sip of her juice “Can I talk with you when we’re alone Cipher?”, Cipher raised an eyebrow.

My Brother and I at the Wedding

Zecora and Mr Waddle walked about the Stable Hall with little to do.

The door the Major’s office opened and Sassaflash walked out “Oh, hello Reverend Waddle, Zecora.”, the two turned around and smiled, the Padre spoke “Hello Miss Sassaflash, is there anything we can do for you?”

“Well, I wanted to have a word with Caramel.”, Waddle frowned “I’m afraid he and the rest of the Platoon are on a march around the town, he’ll be some little time getting back here.”

“Oh, well I promised to write to him, I posted it in time for Cipher's evening round, but as I was passing I thought I’d put him out of his misery. Never mind, I just hope Cipher isn’t too busy tonight. Goodbye.”, they waved as she left then when back to milling about.

After a few minutes, they heard the Major calling out orders, the Platoon marched through the main door and halted, the Major called them to turn left, they did. Waddle and Zecora fell in, and then they stood at ease.

The Major leaned slightly and frowned “Where’s Caramel?”

“Permission to speak sir.” Cold Steel said going to attention “When we came into the High Street and you called for Right Wheel? Well, young Caramel failed to turn and went on marching in a forward direction, you see?”

Vigil nodded “He walked on with a silly grin on his face.”

The Major rolled his eyes. Caramel could be known for his clumsiness at time, but it rarely showed it on parade or on duty. He turned to Porter “Did you notice Sergeant.”

“Yes, I did sir.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he didn’t like his own second-in-command and Steward failing in his duty.

“Well, I didn’t want to upset you.”, the Major groaned, a proper Porter excuse.

Caramel then marched in from the main doors and, quite correctly, took his place in the ranks.

When he finished the Major asked “Where have you been Caramel?”

“I’m sorry Major, it’s just, I’m a little distracted today.”

“I see,” the last time such things happened the Major got roped into a bit of a mess, still it happened months ago, so hopefully things would be a little better since then. “Come and see me in the office. The rest of you fall out.”

The Major sat in his chair, Porter stood next to him and Caramel took the guest chair, the young stallion cleared his throat “Can we talk stallion to stallion sir?”

“Okay Caramel.”

“Well sir, have you noticed a spring in my step?”

“You do seem a bit livelier than usual.”

“And Porter do you see a glint in my eyes?”

“Well, now that you come to mention it you do look a little different.”, Caramel smiled and announced, “I am in love Major.”

“Yes Caramel, you’ve been dating Sassaflash for, how long?”

“Almost three years’ sir. Which I must ask, my I have your permission to get married?”

The Major smiled but frowned his eyebrows “It’s not really got anything to do with me Caramel, this is a civilian voluntary army. You don’t need my permission, you don’t even need Captain Sentry’s.”

“Please Major, just so I have the feeling.”

“Oh, very well if you want it, yes alright.”, Caramel smiled “Thank you sir.”

Porter asked, “Are you sure you want to marry her?”, Caramel gulped “To be honest, I’m tortured with doubt, I’m just a rodeo clown, I don’t know if that’s the life for a girl like her, a Pegasus as well, and what about starting a family? She says she loves my goofiness and clumsiness, but could she live with it?”

The Major nodded, Caramel did seem mature enough, asking the mature questions, so he asked, “When do you plan to marry?”

“I don’t know if she’ll have me.”

Porter frowned “You mean you haven’t asked her yet?”

“Oh, yes, I’ve asked her. I’ve also told Lucky, no doubt he’s telling the rest of the Platoon, I’m inviting them all the bachelor party, if I have one. I’m supposed to get her answer tonight in the evening post. Can I wait until Cipher comes? He knows I’m here tonight.”

“Oh, very well. I just hope he isn’t too long.”

Just then the outside door opened and Cipher walked in with a pair of letters in his magic “Two for the post this evening.” He said levitating one to the Major, then as he turned to the hall door he saw Caramel sitting in the chair looking worried and so gave it to him. Caramel’s hooves shook as he opened the letter and scanned it with his eyes. He closed the letter and leaned back with a distant face.

The three, Cipher included looked to each other.

Caramel spoke “I’m trying to keep calm Major.”

Porter spoke “Now don’t worry Caramel, it’s not the end of the world.”

“She’s a lovely mare.” He sighed “It’s not good I can’t be calm, I’m going break. She said she loved me you know. She said,” a smile crept on his face “yes.” Tears of joy fell from his eyes “I’m going to marry her!”

The others smiled. Caramel jumped out of the chair and ran to the door, opened it and ran into the hall shouted to all and sundry “I’m going to marry Sassaflash!”, he grabbed Lucky Clover, his housemate, in a mad embrace and jumped for joy. The rest of the Platoon crowded around in to congratulate him.

Porter chuckled as he closed the door “How wonderful, don’t you too agree sir?”

“Oh yes,” the Major said, “excellent news.”

Cipher nodded “I’ll spread the world through town. No doubt Pinkie will organise the hen night for Sassaflash, and Cheese Sandwich is still in town from the other day, he could probably get the bachelor party going. Well,” he went to the door “good evening gents.”

After the door shut the Major turned to his letter, it’s couldn’t be from Miss Grey, she rarely sent letters other than their weekly correspondence. Then he recognised the hoof-writing, he groaned.

“Something the matter sir.”

“I think yes Porter.” He opened the letter and read it through, his eyes narrowed and he gritted his teeth “What makes him think he can come here?”

“Who?”

The Major sighed put the letter down and looked straight at Porter “In the years we known each other Porter, I’ve never told you about my Brother, did I?”

“You have a Brother?”

“Yes, Sharp Fields, he’s my twin, the younger.”

“How come you never said anything about him before?”

“We’ve been estranged for several years.”

“Well, if he’s anything like you then he must be a real character.”

“He’s nothing like me Porter, but he is a character. And the sooner he’s away from Ponyville the happier I’ll be.” He sighed “It’s not that I ashamed of him, I mean we both had the same upbringing, he’s just let his talents go to waste.”

“What is his special talent?”

“Well, his profession is a travel sale-stallion, mainly of, novelty toys.”

“Really?”

“Yes. He took the easy way, no real responsibility, just travel around look as smart as you can to flog useless things. I wouldn’t be surprised if he knew the Flim-Flam Brothers.”

“I think you might be overexaggerating sir.”

“Maybe. Porter? I want you to think if you can, picture two colts, one popular, good at games, hail fellow we met. The other shy, lonely, standing in the corner of the playground, alone. That one was me. Later of course he was surrounded by fillies, the laughing crowd, you know, and I was left with my studies. But while he was busy playing his life away, I was getting a clear brain and sharp mind.”

Porter chuckled “So that’s why you take a cold bath every morning.”

“That way of life fitted me, and allow me to become what I was and what I am. If I’d been like Sharp, I may never have met you, or Miss Grey.”

“So, what’s he coming here for?”

“This,” he pulled from his tunic pocket a gold half hunter pocket watch, the hands turning as seen through the little window.

“You’re watch?”

“I told you it belonged to my father and I inherited it. Sharp was always at father’s side, ended up gaining some of his habits. He always like this watch, but I got it due to proper inheritance, but he’s never seen it like that, he thinks I’m a thief.”

“Oh, I see sir, when’s he coming?”

“It doesn’t say, it just says he’ll be here soon to settle this old dispute.”

“Well, perhaps you should explain this to some-pony, Princess Twilight perhaps, she could hold a small court to sort out the facts.”

“No, I can’t put this piety squabble before her, anyway, Sharp would think the verdict biased, since I such an important and respected figure in Ponyville. One thing I can tell you is he’s not getting this watch.”

“Yes, I can see why he would think that. We’ll just have to cross that bridge when we get to it. I mean we have Caramel’s wedding to help out.”, the Major smiled “Yes, let's give the colt our congratulation and good luck.”

“I couldn’t agree more sir.”

A few days later the Major and Porter was asked by Sassaflash to come and see her.

The Major rang the bell and her voice called out “Come in! The doors open just give it a push.”, they walked in a found themselves in an empty living room. The Major looked about “Miss Sassaflash?”

She came down from the stairs “Major? Mr Porter? Oh dear, it’s not six o’clock already?”

The Major checked his watch “6:02 to be precise.”, she turned around the wall clock “Oh, it must have stopped, I keep forgetting to join Time Turner’s subscription of clock checking. I am sorry, make yourselves at home gentle-colts I want be a second. I’m just making the tea and coffee. I’ll keep the door open.” She walked back “I hope you don’t mind coming to my little nest, it’s humble, but it’s all mine. My parents bought it for me, Father’s a Pegasus Guard and Mother’s a teacher at the Wonderbolt Academy.”

“Oh really?” The Major called “I didn’t know you came from a military family.”

“Oh yes, part of me wants to join the Everfree Guard. My time in the Mare’s Division of the Home Guard gave me some time to consider it. I would like to, but the weather team is a bit under staffed right now. Anyway, I wanted a moment to talk with you Major before the others arrive.”

“Others?”

“Oh, Lucky Clover and Lilac Links.” She walked in with the tray balance on her back and steadied by her wings “I imagine you must be wondering why I called you here.”

“Yes, we both are.”

“Well you see Major, I’ve always held you in the high regards, since Caramel joined the Platoon he’s grown up a little, I still love him faults and all, but had he not been in the Platoon I think I would refused his proposal.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” she put the tray on the table “I suppose I should beat about the bush, should I?”

“I wish you wouldn’t time is of the essence.”

“Well, you see, my Father is on a tour in the Dragon Lands, and I have no other male relations. You wouldn’t be willing to give me away at the wedding?”

“Well,” the Major said unsure, then Porter spoke “Surely if you want an authority figure, his Highness General-Captain Sir Flash Sentry is the best option, as the royal male figure he can be known as Father of the Kingdom.”, the Major looked at him a little annoyed “You don’t have to use Captain Sentry’s full title Porter.”

“I was only making a point sir.”, Sassaflash nodded “I suppose I should. But you wouldn’t mind stay while we discuss things?”

“Oh no,” the Major said, “not at all, we’ve got nothing to do today, do we Porter?”

“No sir.”

“Good.”, she smiled “Thank you.”

Just then a voice came from the door “Coe! Are you there?”, Sassaflash turned to the door “Come in Lilac.”, the Farrier at the Day Spa walked in and turned around “Come in Lucky.”, Lucky Clover walked in and stop “Good evening Sass, Major, Porter, you’re a bit early.”

“Oh no,” the Major said taking out his pocket watch “We were punctual for our appointment.”

Another voice came from the door “Hello? Sass?”, she smiled “Come in Caramel we’re all here.”, Caramel entered from the door and looked about “Hello every-pony. Shall we get down the business?”

They all sat down, Sass and Caramel next to each other and the other guest on the sofa, Porter standing by the Major.

Sass spoke “Me, Major Fields and Porter decided it would be better it Prince Flash acted as the Father of the Bride.” She turned to her fiancé “You don’t mind Caramel.”

“No, not at all.”

“Okay, Lilac has agreed to be Maid of Honour,” Caramel then spoke “And Lucky is going to be Best-Stallion, now Rarity’s making the dresses, but what about the stallions.”

“Well,” Caramel said, “I plan to wear my ceremonial uniform.”, she nodded “You’ll be so smart.” She turned to the others “I think every-pony who has a uniform should wear it, preferable ceremonial and with medals. For the rest, basically the best they can manage.”, they nodded. “Now then, what about the flowers?”

In the Stable Hall of Kimblewick Hall Caramel’s bachelor party went on. The stallions of the platoon and the town all drank and played games in merriment under the watchful eye of Cheese Sandwich, he did his best to keep it an organised chaos, which is why Discord wasn’t invited.

Mr Waddle spoke with Windy Miller, Porter and few other members of the Platoon, “Do you think we’ll have the pleasure of meeting Major Field’s brother?”

Porter shook his head “As a matter of fact I don’t.”

“Padre?” Windy said “For goodness sake, have you lost all your wits? The Major’s brother is the black sheep of the family, the skeleton in the cupboard.”

Cold Steel came over dressed in his full Second Regiment of Hoof ceremonial uniform, scarlet and black, including a black pith helmet, is medals shinning in the light. In his hoof a bunch of fake flowers “Permission to speak Sergeant?”

“Yes Porter?”

“I was at the door keeping guard when this pony with a resemblance to the Major clattered his way in backward, said "What a stupid place to out a fire bucket" and presented himself as Sharp Fields. Then he asked me if was a fancy-dress party.”

“WHAT!”, they all turned to see this stumbling Earth Pony stallion shaking hooves with Reverend Farthing and slurred said “Oh, it is a fancy-dress party, you’ve come as a vicar.” He laughed and pointed “Your collars on wrong, never mind.” He pulled out a cigar and gave it to him “Have an exploding cigar.”, and he walked off.

Caramel came running up “If he’s like this then I don’t want him at the wedding, we’ve got to do something.”

“Alright,” Porter said, “I’ll talk with him.”

“Where’s the Major.”

“He’s escorting Captain Sentry, and North Sentry here.” He walked over to where Sharp Fields looked for the drinks “Nothing be flowery sandwiches.”

“No, the groom doesn’t want every-pony drunk at the wedding. You’re Green Field’s younger brother?”

“Only by about half-an-hour, and who are you?”

“I’m Porter, his Military Steward and butler of Kimblewick Hall.”

“Butler eh? Old Po-face has really gone up in the world, hasn’t he? Then he can afford a new watch.”

“A new watch?” Porter smirked as an idea came to him. Sharp tapped him on the shoulder “I’m going to the little colt’s room for a moment, when Po-face arrives come and get me, there’s a good butler.”

Porter returned to the other and explained his idea, Time Turner nodded and added an idea of too before heading into the Major’s office.

Then the Major and the Sentry males arrived. Porter came over and whispered into the Major’s ear, the older officer’s eyes widened, he turned to Flash “I’m sorry sir, but I urgently needed, something’s happened down in the Hall itself.”, his superior nodded and they, plus some of the Platoon went into the office.

They came out a few minutes later with a moveable cupboard and went into the bathroom, the Major went back to the office.

Sharp sat plastered, Porter spoke “Mr Fields, we’re going to have a parlour game now, would you mind stepping into this cupboard.”

“Oh, like sardines?” He stood up and as they shut the door he poked his head out “You’re not going to cut me in half, are you?”, they locked it and tried to lift it. Only for Sharp to walk out hold the back panel of the cupboard “Who’s the next one in then?”

Porter reached for a hammer and some nails, they put Sharp back down and repaired the cupboard. They then pulled him up and back to the cupboard “My turn again, is it?”, they put him inside, locked it and tried to lift it again. Only for the bottom to break off, and his back hooves stuck out.

Lucky looked at them “Lilac would flip if she had to sort out that pair.”

Porter groaned “Let’s get him out.”, as soon as Sharp got out he said, “Which floor is this then?”

Reverend Farthing spoke with Flash and the pair looked to the bathroom, Mr Waddle came up and added a small bit, the younger stallions frowned.

The Major and Time Turner came out of the office just as Porter and the others came out with the repaired cupboard, Porter passed Flash and explained “We needed the cupboard the help with the problem, but it needed repair.”

“Well,” Flash said, “I hope you sort this trouble out fast.”, the Major and Porter glanced at each other and they quickly rushed out.

Once outside and closer to the main hall they let Sharp out. Sharp looked at Green and smiled “Hello Po-face,” he turned to Porter “your butler has a really weird way of getting ponies about. Anyway, about the watch?”, the Major glanced at Time Turner and the doctor gave Sharp a golden half hunter pocket watch. Sharp grinned and put it in his pocket “Dad always wanted me to have it.”

“Well,” the Major said, “now you have the watch will you go.”

“Oh yes, need to get back traveling. I don’t think we’ll meet again.”

“I don’t think so. Goodbye Sharp.”

“Goodbye, Po-face.” And Sharp stumbled down to the gates and back to Ponyville.

Cold Steel sighed “What a pity, that was a lovely watch Major, why’d you let such an unsavoury character like him have it?”

Porter, the Major and Time Turner chuckled, and the Major pulled a watch out of his pocket “Sharp got a golden half hunter, but not the one that belong to Father.” He turned to Porter “Well done on the initiative Porter,” then to the doctor “And excellent work making the copy of the watch.”, Time shrugged “I keep spare parts with me sir.”

Lucky cleared his throat “Let’s re-join the party, got a long night and day ahead of us.”

“Good idea Clover.” The Major said, and the all re-entered the hall.

Spike patted Twilight’s shoulder “Just breath Twilight.”

“Sorry Spike, it’s just I’m really nervous, I’ve never done a wedding before.” Her fore hoof went to the bump in her abdomen “What happens if I get a mood swing in the middle of the ceremony? What if I mess up some other way.”

“Twilight,” Spike said “Twilight, you’re being too hard on yourself. Caramel and Sassaflash understood this was your first wedding when they asked you, they know and knowing them they won’t hold it against you. And Cadance and Mayor Mare told you how to do it. You’ll be fine.”

She gave a happy sigh “Thanks Spike.” She hugged her number one assistant. He let go and walked to the steps “We should probably take our positions. I think Bride and Groom are almost ready as well."

Twilight took another deep breath. "Alright. I can do this, I can do this…" She said to herself, boosting her morale. She touched the bump on her belly “Behave in there, do it for Mommy.” She smiled to herself and slowly walked to the entrance hall.

Light conversation in the audience got silenced as Twilight walked in, cleared her throat and spread her large wings, effectively capturing everyone's attention.

“Friends, comrades, brothers and sisters…” She began the speech.

Peaking in through the gap in the door Sassaflash bit her lip. Flash in his full ceremonial uniform, including the sash and badge of the Order of Royal Knights and a finely polished helmet, walked up beside her “Ready?”

“Um, yes.” She said meekly. He chuckled “Twilight said she was just a nervous on our wedding day, I bet Caramel is just as nervous as me standing up there.”

The music started, most the unofficial Ponyville Village Band, Octavia and Vinyl, Spike and Cipher, plus a few more musical ponies in town.

The door opened and Flash took Sass’s hoof.

She took a few steps, and decided to look around. To her pleasant surprise, she got get warm smiles from the audience. They all scanned her up and down, looking at her dress. She looked down in front of her to see the three fillies bounding while throwing flower petals onto the ground, smiles on their faces.

Sass looked to Caramel. He seemed to be looking towards the ground in nervousness, but as soon as he looked up and met Sass’s eyes, his eyes grew wide.

She now smiled, feeling secure in his glance. Her worries suddenly vanished. After today, the two will be together forever through the bonds of marriage.

They reached the front of the room and Flash gave Sass over of Caramel before turning to stand beside Lucky Clover.

Twilight smiled at Flash then to Sass, then looked to Caramel before the music cut off. “We’re gather here today to join Caramel and Sassaflash in marriage, they have enjoyed a beautiful and lasting relationship, sticking together and filling in the pieces missing from each other.

“All of you have come here to observe this union, watching their relationship progress.” She looked to every-pony, taking another breath. “Without further ado, Caramel, will you accept this mare as your lawfully wedded wife?”

He smiled. “I will,” he said, earning a bright smile from Sassaflash, who was now lost in his eyes.

“And Sassaflash, will you accept this stallion as your lawfully wedded husband?”

This brought her back into reality. She broke her trance as her cheeks seemed to burn. “I, I will.”

Twilight looked over to Lucky. “Lucky Clover, may I have the rings?” She asked as the Best-Stallion extended the pillow. Twilight levitated the rings, in truth more like braclets, off and put one around on Sass’s wing, and the other around Caramel’s hoof.

“I now pronounce you… husband and wife,” she said as Caramel quickly pulled Sassaflash in and gave her a passionate kiss, sealing the marriage. The audience applauded and cheered, and Pinkie Pie had fountains of tears coming out of her eyes. Marble, how became a friend of Sass’s during their time in the Mare’s Division put a hoof to her sister’s shoulder, her eyes wielding tears as well.

As soon as the newly-weds separated, they looked to the crowd, flashing bright smiles. Twilight left the front and went to stand with Flash, the ponies went up to congratulate the new couple.

Outside the Town Hall for the reception. Caramel and Sassaflash shook hooves with every-pony before they entered the carriage and went off on their honeymoon.

The Major turned to Cold Steel “They’re going to Saddle Arabia.”

“That’s right sir, Caramel thought about seeing the Battle of Ambleman ground and Sassaflash whole-heartedly agreed.”, the Major turned to the rest of the Platoon “Why don’t drink to their health. Do you have the champagne and the glasses Porter?”

“Yes sir.” He levitated the said items, each member of the Platoon took and glass and Porter used a few bottles to when finished pouring out his own the Major called out “He’s to Caramel and Sassaflash.”, the all said cheers and took a sip.

Then the Major spoke “I’d also like the thank every-pony here of you for devoting your time to this endeavour over the several months. With winter coming and us as a group to reach our first anniversary sooner rather than later, I hope we will stand together through thick and thin. Any-pony who tries to take our home or are freedom, we’ll show what we can do. Fight. And we’re not alone, there’s the rest of the Royal Guard, Day, Night, Crystal and Everfree, all over Equestria and beyond, standing ready when their country needs them.

“I think it would be a good idea to pay a tribute to them. To the Royal Guard.”

“To the Royal Guard!”

The Barometer

Early one morning one of the kittens at Fluttershy’s house walked about the front on Cipher’s house.

The front door opened and Fluttershy let the kitten in while she collected the milk.

Cipher stirred his morning tea as he waited for a spot of milk. But Fluttershy didn’t forget the kitten and poured some of the milk into a saucer first.

Cipher finished his tea and went to the door “Time to get to work. I wonder what sort of day it’ll be. Let’s see what the barometer says.” He glanced at the old wooden wall object, something which occupied the house before Cipher and Riolu moved in, what it read made Cipher frown with worry, he then checked the window in became confused “Not a cloud.” He muttered, he gave the barometer a tap and waited, no change, he glanced back to Fluttershy “That’s what I thought it said. Snow!”

“Snow?” Fluttershy looked worried and confused.

Cipher nodded at his mare-friend “You mark my words Flutters, we’ll have snow, I’ve never known this barometer to be wrong.”

Fluttershy walked up him and looked at the barometer then to the sky “Snow? I don’t see why, Cloudsdale isn’t going to be here for weeks. We’ve only just had the Running of the Leaves. And I hope it doesn’t snow, Miss Cheerilee’s talking the foals on a nature walk this afternoon.”

“I’m not going to risk it, I’ll tell her.”

“It might not happen.” Fluttershy said.

“I could though. Better safe than sorry.”

Cold didn’t begin to describe Ponyville. Even with the sun shining. Cipher warmed by Fluttershy’s love hurried to the Post Office.

As he climbed down from the cart he saw Time Turner coming down the street, already wearing his extra-long multi-coloured scarf, a sure sign of winter. The two greeted each other as Cipher entered the office. Riolu also hurried inside quite chilly.

“Morning Muffins, by Celestia it’s cold today.”

Muffins walked through the door to her house and smiled “Morning Cipher, the mail’s not so hot either.”

“I think it’s going to get colder,” and he explained about the barometer.

“Snow? Oh, dear me, not already? And so, sudden, like last year. And a nice sunny day too.”

“What happened last year?”

“I don’t exactly know but, an entire days’ worth of snowfall came down on us, walloped, like a trash car lid. Now what did Windy Miller say when he came with the eggs this morning? He’d listened to the radio weather forecast, it said it was going to be cold but dry today, not a word about snow.”

“Those weather ponies on the radio, probably in Canterlot, what do they know about the weather in Ponyville? Now the old barometer, I’ve never know it to be wrong.”

Meanwhile a ball of string fell off the counter and onto the floor, Riolu found it, and exhibiting his occasional cat-like behaviour started to play with it. Cipher and Muffins continued their conversation and became oblivious to the Jakhowl. Until Muffins started wrapping a parcel “Now that’s for the village, it’ll just tie it…” she then looked about the counter, “Oh, where’s that string? It was here a minute ago.”

Cipher looked back and took hold of something in his magic “Um, is this it?”, he presented a tangled-up mess of white, Muffins frowned and took the Gordian Knot in her hoof “Well, I think it is. But what happened to my nice neat ball of string.”

Cipher put the done letters in his saddlebag and looked back at Riolu sternly “That’s pup can sense when snow is on the way.” He went to the door and a whimpering Riolu followed.

Muffins started to untangle the string “It looks like a whirlwind’s been at it.” She muttered “Never mind snow. Him and his pup.”

Cipher and Riolu left the Post Office and headed down the High Street to do the village rounds.

He put a letter in a mailbox when he heard hoof-steps he turned and smiled “Morning Thunderlane.” He said as the Pegasus walked up “Have you got your snow-horseshoes ready?”

“Snow-horseshoes? What’re talking about Cipher? Cloudsdale’s not going to be coming over until the week of Hearth's Warming.”

“Oh, don’t be so sure. My old barometer…”

“Oh, poo to your barometer, as a weather-pony in Ponyville I’ve got the knowledge.”

“Well,” Cipher said turning away “mind how you go.”, and he went on his way. He went to the house of Nurse Redheart and Comet Tail, the nurse moved in with Comet to better look after him. She just shut the front door as Cipher turned the street corner and readied the parcel for her, the Changeling called out “You and the hospital ready for the snow? Plenty of plasters and cough mixture?”

The nurse titled her head “Snow? What’s all this about snow? It’s a lovely sunny day, and I always have a good stock of medicine at hoof, you never know when you need it.”

Cipher gave the parcel over and told her about the barometer. She chuckled and wave him off “Oh, Cipher, I’d rather go by the weather ponies, much more experienced,” she looked up “anyway look at the sky, you and your barometer.” She then looked at the parcel and its ragged edge “I don’t suppose it’s the snow that chewed the corner of this parcel.”

Cipher’s face fell “Oh, well, um, it’s when the weathers on the turn. Jakhowls you know, very sensitive. A bit of a mystery too. It’s not too badly chewed, is it?” he started walking off “Urgent letters, got to be off, cheerio.” As he walked down the street he came across Rainbow Dash and her pet tortoise, Tank, the reptile hooved on his special strap-on helicopter. Riolu ran up to give the tortoise a high five, but Tank simply yawed.

Rainbow Dash sighed “Looks like Tank’s going to go hibernating again.”

Cipher nodded “You’d better be quick to get things ready. My barometer said it’s going to snow today.”

“What a barometer? Sounds like something Twilight would use.”, Cipher explained to Rainbow, what Time Turner told him, it uses atmospheric pressure to measure the weather.

“So, you’re say this is more natural thing than the weather ponies? I’ve not really kept up with them since joining the Wonderbolts, I've only been able to help occasionally.”

“I guess so, every-pony so far has told me they trust Cloudsdale, I’m not so sure myself, the weather outside the hive could be quite drastic.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow nodded “and after seeing what almost happened to the Crystal Empire, well, Mother Nature can be ruthless at time, I mean Princess Celestia and Luna had a hard time keeping the snow storm back.”

Cipher gulped “I hope we don’t get something like that.”

“Same, I’ll tell Twilight, maybe she’ll get some sense into ponies.”

“Good luck.” Cipher called as they departed.

Cipher started the chart up and began to travel the outskirts of Ponyville.

Filthy Rich sat with his mobile shop on the side of the road. Cipher stopped and gave him the letters addressed to him. Filthy nodded “Morning Cipher, lovely day.”

“Morning Rich, have you got your stores ready? All the winter supplies in the shop?”

“What for?”

“In case we snowed in.”

“But there isn’t any snow Cipher, the Equestria Daily says it's set fine for two weeks at least.”

Cipher sighed and walked away “That’s not what my barometer said this morning.” He got to the cart and found the passenger seat empty. “Where has that pup gotten to?”

Filthy pointed “I saw something streak across that field. It’s not like Riolu to do that.”

“We usually have our lunch in that field, but in this cold?” Cipher walked into the field and called as he climbed the hill “Riolu?”

A bark sounded and Cipher looked up, Riolu sat on a high branch of a tree, “What are you doing up there?” Cipher fluttered his wings and buzzed up to the branch.

Filthy Rich called from the ground “Hasn’t Riolu been stuck up enough trees in his time? When will he learn?”

“He knows things we don’t know.” Cipher said as he picked Riolu up by his arms and gently flew down.

“Well,” Filthy said “he’s got a funny way of showing it.”, both returned to their carts and Cipher got rolling again. Next stop, Chelsea Porcelain.

The old mare sat on a bench. Cipher rolled up to the Retirement Home and climbed down. She looked up and smiled “Good morning Cipher. Lovely day for the time of year.” She took the letter from him and Cipher nodded “Unseasonal I’d say.”

“It was never like this when I was a filly. Right after the fall was down the snow would be coming down like feather. We were cut off for weeks! We couldn’t get to school you know.”

“You mark my words.” Cipher said, “We’ll have snow today.” He turned back to the cart “Mind how you go. Bye.”

“Bye Cipher.” She called as he flicked the reigns and went off.

As they continued Cipher sighed “I don’t know Riolu, no-pony seems to believe in my old barometer, I would have thought Princess Twilight would get the word around. I’m being to doubt the old thing. If it does snow they can’t say I didn’t warn them.”

He stopped at Time Turner’s and as usual found the doctor in his workshop, this time sawing the end from a length of wood. Cipher went to the stove in the corner and frowned “You’ve not let this stove go out, I was look forward for a good warm up and a cup of tea.”

Time scoffed “I’m too busy to deal with it.” Then he continued sawing the small plank “Besides it’s look a spring day today. You get warm by keeping busy.”

“I’d get the stove going now if I were you. There’s a real cold snap on the way. If you’d seen my barometer this morning, I’ve never know it to be wrong.”

“I saw that old-fashioned thing when you moved in.” Time grabbed another plank and nailed the two pieces together. “It’s best to leave that sort of thing to the experts.” He indicated to his makeshift radio behind him “Partly out of my friendship to Twin Ray, I listen to the radio.”

“I’m not so sure about the Pegasi and their assurances, as Rainbow Dash said, Mother Nature can be ruthless.” He walked back to the cart and climbed up. The Auto-Magic Cart then sped along the road, around the left and back into town.

Parcel Post passed by and they greeted each other.

Cipher turned right and went to the School House.

Cheerilee and several the foals came out, including the CMC, Muffins kids and First Base. Cipher approach the teacher and spoke “Hello Cheerilee, I hope you’re not going far, there’s snow on the way, you know.”, she smiled “Don’t worry Cipher, we’ll be as safe as the letters in your saddlebag. You know what the Scouts and the Guides say, “Be prepared”, besides,” she pulled out a newspaper “the Ponyville Express says it’s set fair to the weekend, you couldn’t ask better than that.”

Cipher sighed and explained about his barometer. Cheerilee nodded as the foals passed “Well, we’ll promise to be careful, we’ll just go up the smallest hill, no further than Buckminster Barn at the most.”

“Well mind how you go.” Cipher said returning to the cart. He looked at Riolu “It makes you wonder. I could be wrong.” He started the cart up and headed for his next call, the Reverend at the Castle of Friendship.

Reverend Farthing and Spike stood out on the Castle steps with brooms sweeping away. As Cipher stopped the cart Spike went back inside and the Reverend stopped sweeping “Morning Cipher.”

“Morning Reverend, sweeping up the leave?”

“Well, no, it’s this sand. Makes such a mess and gets everywhere.” He sighed “There was I thinking there was snow on the way, then bless us all, the wind turned and out came the sun, the Good Lord shines upon us at mysterious times.”

Cipher frowned, what happened to Rainbow Dash, did her dedication to Tank mean she didn’t get around to speaking with Twilight? He gave the Reverend his post and readied the reins “I do hope you’re right Reverend, I’d better be on my way.” And he continued along the road, up and down a few small hills and into the yard at Sweet Apple Arches.

He got out and took the parcel for Applejack and paused ‘The winds getting up.’ He turned to the Everfree Forest, a massive blanket of thick grey clouds flew over from it. He continued forward and met Applejack at the door to the house, she smiled “Howdy Cipher.”

“Afternoon Applejack.” He put the parcel on her back “Thanks Cipher,” she said, “I better not open it, I promised Apple Bloom I’d meet her on the way from…” she paused and her eyes widened as something fell in front of her eyes “Cipher, look!”

Cipher looked up and smiled, white flack fluttered down from the clouds “Snow at least! My dear old barometer was right after all. No-pony took the weather from the Everfree Forest into account.” He looked at her “We’d both better be on our way before it gets really bad.”

She nodded “I’d better ask Big Mac to look after the animals and the corps.”

Cheerilee pointed to some of the plants “And there’s the ancient oak, and the willow,” she started walking “and when the cold weather comes the little creature will begin their long winter sleep of hibernation.”

Scootaloo spoke up “I wouldn’t mind staying in bed all winter.”

One of the other foals tried to get Miss Cheerilee’s attention but she spotted something “And there’s a swift hare.” She turned around and walked to the other side of the field “Remember to put that in your Nature Diaries.”

“Miss Cheerilee?” another foal called.

“And here we see the last of the dog roses.”

“Please Miss Cheerilee, it’s started to…”, the teacher pointed to a tree stump with some interesting additions “That over there is Polypore or Bracket Fungi. Don’t touch it, most types are poisonous.”

“I’m cold,” another foal called.

A crowing caught her attention “And there are the rooks, flying from tree to tree.” She took a step forward “Swooping…” her hoof slipped on a patch of snow, she flipped and landed on one of her back hooves, then onto her back. She looked up and grimaced “My hoof! Ouch!”

Apple Bloom ran up “Are you okay Miss Cheerilee?”, Sweetie Belle walked up beside her “It’s getting a bit snowy.”, Button Mash nodded as he appeared beside her “And cold. Can we go home please?”

Cheerilee slowly got up “Ouch! Yes, that would be a good idea,” she tested her hoof and hissed “But with this hurt hoof, it’s going to take a while.”

Meanwhile Cipher made slow going as he drove into the yard of the North-Eastern Windmill. Riolu clung to his seat and wouldn’t move. Cipher not needing winter clothes thanks to his tough exoskeleton climbed down and trudged through the snow “Windy? Dotty?” He continued through the yard and spotted a show in the snow “It that you Windy?” He approached the farmer how stood at a hen house.

Cipher spoke “I’ve got a letter for you.”

“Oh, thanks Cipher. Just put it in the basket.” He pointed to the snow “Now then, look at this.”, in the snow small paw prints crisscrossed the white around the small hen house.

Cipher looked at them “Tracks.” He guessed “Well, they can’t be Riolu’s, Prince Blueblood told me ever since the Windigo Winter, Jakhowls have never like the snow.”

Windy nodded “I reckon it’s a fox. After my prize hens. I’ll have to put a mirror in the back.”

“What for?”

“When the fox looks inside, it sees it’s reflection, thinks it’s another fox and doesn’t intruded on the other’s territory.”

“Still, you’d better lock your hens up safely.” He walked back to the chart “Cheerio.”

“Bye, Cipher.”

Starting the chart again he made a three-point turn and rolled out of the yard and onto the road. The snow got deeper by the minute and the road became very slippery. Going downhill proved troublesome. The cart slipped and spun around. The rolled backwards into a field. Lucky some-pony left the gate open. All Cipher need to do was rolled forward and onto the road again.

He battled the slips and slide until finally he reached Ponyville. He stopped outside the school, in this weather he thought he should collect Muffin’s foals and Miss Cheerilee and get them home.

He and Riolu entered the classroom and Cipher frowned “Hello?”, he walked up to Applejack and Big Mac, Chrome Blade, Muffins and Dauntless Doo, North and Fortune Sentry, Rarity and Fluttershy, all look extremely worried.

“Where is every-pony?” He asked, Fluttershy looked up sadly “Oh Cipher, the foals aren’t back yet, they must be lost in the snow with Miss Cheerilee.”

The door opened and Time Turner came in with a load of firewood. He went to the fireplace and glanced at the Changeling, “You were right about the snow Cipher. Your barometer bets my radio.” He started to light a fire and Riolu quickly came to its side.

Cipher scratched the back of his head “I wish it had been wrong, and the foals were back safely.”

“Now then,” Applejack said, “they’ll be alright with Miss Cheerilee.”

“Yep.”

Time Turner looked out the window “The snow’s getting awfully deep.”

Cipher went to the door and looked out as the Moon started raising “They should be back by now.” He stepped outside at the clear night sky “Well, the snows stopped at least. Something must have happened to them.” Time Turner, Dauntless and Chrome Blade came out and Cipher spoke again “Now I remember Cheerilee said they weren’t going further than Buckminster Barn.”

Chrome narrowed his eyes “They might have taken shelter there.”

Cipher looked to the cart “I wonder if could get through with the cart.”

Time Turner shook his head “No, you’d only get stuck. Why don’t we have a go with the Lorry? It’s bigger and heavier, we’d have a chance.”

Dauntless turned to Chrome “We’d better inform the Princess and Captain Sentry. If you’re not back by midnight we’ll start a search party.”

“Okay.” Cipher said and turned to Time “Come on, no time to lose.”

Out in the night First Base stopped and Apple Bloom and Button Mash help Miss Cheerilee along the snowy field. The blue maned colt pointed into the distance at the cubed shape in the dark “There’s a barn over there Miss Cheerilee, we could go in a shelter, we’d be warmer out of the wind.”

Cheerilee smiled “That’s an excellent idea First. We’re getting slower and slower in this snow. Come on children.”, they all made their way to the barn.

An owl hooted, Scootaloo jumped, Sweetie Belle and Rumble came up to comfort her, and together they all went indoors. Inside Sweetie smiled and let her illumination spell go “Great, Button’s found a light.”

Cheerilee lowered herself onto the straw “Now children let settle down,”, as the foals sat down on the bales of hay and straw, she gave a relieved sigh as she propped her hoof up “That’s better,” she hissed again as she felt it. She then reached into her saddlebag “And now for the emergence supplies.” She pulled out a Thermos Flask and a paper bag “Hot Chocolate and cookies.”

The heat from the Lorry’s boiler helped melt some of the snow. They turned a corner Time stopped. Cipher peered out the cab window “Any idea where we are Time?”

The doctor look out from his side “Well, I’ve seen that tree before. But everything looks so different in all this snow.” He pushed the regulator open and the Lorry steamed forward, it’s large back wheels dug into the snow and they made decent going.

Then the Lorry lifted and got stuck. Time looked out. The front wheels fell into a large snow drift. Time quickly put her in reserve and struggling the Lorry slugged back.

The two got out and took snow shovels. Even with his magic Cipher found digging, what felt like a ton of snow, tough “Hot work this. I see what you meant this morning.”

After a few more minutes Time looked at the drift “I think that should do it. Let’s give her a try.”, the pair climbed back and Time pushed the regulator again. The Lorry slowly ran over the drift and back into it’s steady, slightly slippery trundle.

They followed the road to the right and then slowly around a sharp left. Cipher having come down these roads before felt the twists and turns with an instinctual assurance, he could tell they travel on the right road, even if he could tell exactly where they were.

Meanwhile in the barn Miss Cheerilee managed to get the foals into a singsong.

“Here is a song… Not very long… To cheer you up when things go wrong…” Some of the foals swayed as they sang. Some foals also huddled together. Crackle and Dinky in a sibling bond. Apple Bloom and Tender Tap, next to them Sweetie Belle and Button Mash, finally Scootaloo and Rumble.

“You might begin to think that you’re sitting on a problem… Don’t let bad thoughts get to you… Clap a rhythm, make a happy sound… And take a positive point of view…”

Cheerilee tapped in the next verse “If you think you’re lost and the weather’s getting frosty… Don’t let chill winds blow on you… Clap your hooves and make a rhythm… Then we’ll find that we’ll win through…”

The Lorry’s pistons started to splutter and the blast from the funnel resembled a cough.

“Oh no!” Cipher said, “That shows bad.”

Time Turner shut the regulator “It’s nothing but a bit of water condensed in the dome and it’s got into the piston,” he checked the water gauge glass, a small forth formed on the edge “Yes, she’s priming, although I think it’s called foaming in some cases.” He got out the cab onto the small running plate beside the water tanks “It’ll be alright once I open the drain cocks.”

Cipher got out as well “I’m sure I know this lane.” He turned to the open gate into a field “I’ll just have a look.” And he walked into the field and up a small hill.

An owl hooted. Cipher looked about unsure ‘I’m not going to see much in the dark.’ He put an illumination spell on his horn, but it didn’t do much to brighten things up.

He reached the top of the hill and looked around, he hummed unsurely ‘I’d better be getting back.’, a sound came through the night and Cipher blinked ‘What’s that?’ he leaned forward ‘It sounds like…’

The snow went from under his hooves and the Changeling slid down the hill. At the bottom his stood and shook himself, then raised a hoof to his ear and smiled in confusion ‘It sounds like, singing!’ Quickly he fluttered his wings and flew back to Time.

The doctor closed the dripping taps on the pistons as he arrived “Time! There’s some-pony over there singing! I heard them clear as crystal.”

“Singing? What are you on about? How can there be?”

“Listen!” Cipher insisted putting a hoof to his ear again, Time did the same and his eyes widened “Great Whickering Stallions! You’re right! Let’s get a move on!”, the two hurriedly got aboard the Lorry and steamed toward the singing as fast as they dared in the snow.

They came to a barn with a bright light and a lot of young voices proclaiming “Then we’ll find that we’ll win through… Then we’ll find that we’ll win through…”

They stopped and went to the doors, Cipher smiled widely “So, here you are!”

Cheerilee looked up and smiled widely herself “Why it’s Cipher and Doctor Time Turner!”, they all cheered and Cipher glanced back to the Lorry “Come on you lot. That’s enough singing, we’d better get you home.”, then they saw Cheerilee’s limping, Cipher let her lean in him “Take it easy Cheerilee.”

Time opened the passenger door to the Lorry cab “Care for a hoof Miss Cheerilee? Easy as you go.”

“Thank you, Time Turner.” She said as she climbed in. Time closed the door and walked around to the driver’s side.

Cipher helped the foals onto the back of the Lorry “Last one.” He said as he took hold of Dinky and straining said, “Up you go.”, he climbed onto the back himself and pulled a canvas cover over himself and the foals, he called out “Okay Time!”

Time nodded and opened the regulator. The Lorry started moving again and quickly they got back onto the road from whence they came. Using the tracks in the snow from the journey to the barn they quickly made it back to the Schoolhouse and parked in front of the Cart.

Inside a few ponies looked out anxiously. Including, Twilight and Flash, the Reverend Farthing, Rainbow Dash, Thunderlane and Nurse Redheart.

The Reverend looked out the window and smiled “The Lord be praised.” He proclaimed, “Here they come.”, Nurse Redheart walked up next to him “I hope their alright.”

Families hugged each other in relief.

What a story Scootaloo told Chrome Blade and Rainbow Dash, “It was great fun.” She said, “Really it was.”

Nurse Redheart carefully inspected Cheerilee’s hoof “It’s a bad sprain. You’ll soon be fine, with a bit of rest. But I don’t think you can do much walking on your own.”, Cheerilee turned to Big Mac, the Apple Stallion smiled and nodded “Yep.”

The Reverend walked up the heroic rescuers “Well done Cipher, Doctor Turner. That was magnificent. But I know one thing.” He turned to the gathered “Next time I want to know what the weather’s going to do, I’ll ask Cipher what his barometer has to say before I do anything else.”

Cheerilee nodded “Here, here, me too.”, soon the other started agreeing also. Cipher blushed, more so when Time tapped a hoof in his shoulder “Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.”

Riolu jumped for joy.

Fluttershy came up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Cipher blushed even harder.

Necropolis Now

From his bar where he hung the current Head Mortician, Shadow Mark, opened his eyes to see the moon arise. He turned to the clock on the wall, a clock with two faces, one upright, the other upside-down, or the other way around in his case. Ten o’clock ‘Punctual as ever.’ He unfurled himself and pushed his front hooves out. Letting his tail slide off the bar, he landed and then walked to the wardrobe.

He took off his nightshirt, or more truthfully, his day-shirt, and put it into the washing basket before donning his regular clothes. Faded and slightly tattered they may look, but it is a reminder of their work.

After Shadow Mark finished putting his jacket on a knock came from the door.

“Come in Façade.”

The door opened and Day Secretary walked in with a tray made of slate with breakfast on it, breakfast consisted of night blooming flowers, various insects, cooked mushrooms, fruit slices from the Shades, a few stalks of rhubarb, and a glass of fresh apple juice, “Good Night Sir.”, the Unicorn gave a small tried smile, one he naturally gained after several years in service.

“Good Night to you Master Façade. Has there been any news on the Night Mail?”

“It is running on time sir.” Master Façade said putting the tray down on the desk sitting next to the window.

“Good, good.” Shadow Mark said taking his seat “Has anything happened here I should be concerned about?”

“Not over day sir, however the other staff will keep you informed should anything arise.”

“Naturally. Carry on.”

“Sir.” And Master Façade left the room.

With his breakfast finished Shadow Mark left the tray by the door and beside the wash basket for another member of staff to clear them away.

Now, he poured over the outstanding documentation. As Head Mortician, he handled to applications of either powerful individuals wishing the services of the Necropolitan Morticians, and would approve or deny the requests made by the poorer individuals wishing to be embalmed and interred in the Necropolis.

He approved a few and denied others when a knock came from the door “Come in.”

Master Façade entered with letters in his hoof “Your night’s post sir. And the day’s paperwork, I’ve filled out what I can sir.”

“Thank you.” He gathered up the completed papers and handed them to Master Façade as well as took the letter “Have these papers sent down. Unless I ring I don’t believe I require your services for the rest of the night.”

“Very good sir. But I will wait for the moment.”

Shadow Mark nodded before filed through the envelops before finding the one he wanted. The opened it and read through it ‘Very good. Very good.’

He turned on his seat and looked at the chessboard on the windowsill, he moved a white piece into position, before studying the board. He opened a draw and pulled out a long parchment. Holding it in his wing and taking a quill he crossed out several possible moves at this stage in the game before looking at the option open to him thanks to the move made. He then filed through the previous moves made and considered the options ‘Most likely the third option is his strategy. I must block his offense.’ He circled an option, put the quill down, moved a black piece into the way of the most recently moved white piece.

After a few minutes studying the board he took the quill and began writing the option open for his opponent. Once the ink dried he rolled up the parchment put it back in the draw and wrote a letter with his move on it. Put it in an envelope, wrote the address, sealed it and gave it the Master Façade “You know what to do.”

“Yes sir. Good Night.” And the secretary left.

Shadow Mark, ignored the disguised glare from behind him, he knew Façade could get cranky without sleep, and the other staff said he seemed to be up at dawn these past few weeks. Probably due to organising this new guild he’d been planning, and yet to come up with a name for it.

The Head Mortician sighed and began looking through the other letters. The first one seemed hastily written but trying to look like fine calligraphy ‘Probably another empty purse trying to impress me. And failing.’ Still it was his duty to give whoever wrote to him a chance. And Shadow Mark never shirked his duty. What he did, he did for the good of the city.

A tap came from the window. Shadow Mark’s eyes glanced sideways to it.

An owl hooved at the window while several more flew passed, along with several ravens. Shadow Mark narrowed his eyes ‘Strange.’ Neither the Necropolis owls or corvids came down from the high peaks, mostly because they didn’t need to. Entire species of beetles and small mammals evolved up there and thrived, much to the delight of the birds of prey, a tough bunch, the bird of prey of the Foal Mountains, to have them fly so low with expressions of worry meant trouble.

Shadow Mark did his quill and wrote a memo ‘Be careful. Danger predicted.’

As Head Mortican he made it his duty to keep the city running, he didn’t care about have a beautiful or renowned city, though the Necropolis did have certain have levels of both. No Shadow Mark wished for a city which worked. And any threat would stop it working.

He picked up another letter and recognised the writing and smiled “Moonlight.” He opened it and read it, his youngest son would be visiting with a mare he meets at the Grand Galloping Gala, a Miss Rarity, Shadow Mark knew the name, the Element of Generosity, member of Princess Twilight’s Council of Friendship, and renowned Fashionista.

Mark raised an eyebrow. Having read letter after letter for several years, before as Head Mortician and the secretary to the previous one, his mother, Mark learned how to read between the line. With both this and the omens, the coming days would be, interesting.

He then sighed, just because something would be interesting, it didn’t mean it would be good. Too bad the omen of the bird of prey didn’t come sooner, he could have sent a message to Princess Luna. One of the few ponies, aside from his opponent in long-distance chess, who he trusted with information outside of the Necropolis.

As well as trust, other reasons existed for the Necropolis isolation to the rest of Equestria. First the time difference, second the general Bat Ponies population’s preference for solitude, and lastly, the topic of death is something most ponies in Equestria wish to sweep under the carpet, it just seems to be an absolute taboo to discuss death in general conversation.

Looking out the window again he could just see from the horizon a group of thick dark cloud approaching. The weather ponies of the Hollow Shades must be working on a storm, and it would be pelting down upon the forest village in the early daylight hours of tomorrow. He started writing a letter to the builders, or the Hermetic Order of the Golden Rivet.

After finishing the letter, he put the envelope on the out box to be taken away. Then he took the first piece of paper from the top of the new pile and frowned ‘Façade, your hoof-writing needs serious improvements.’

The Necropolis on the outside looks like a mountain, but what is inside is what counts. Built deep within the mountain it is a fortress city like no other in the world. Once the home of kings and nobles, now a place of very different, and in many ways, unappreciated propose.

In the shadow of the Foal Mountains, and built deep within a dark forest stood the town of the Hollow Shades. So, named because the first occupants, the Bat Ponies, who handled the weather of the area built their homes by hollowing out trees. Later other creatures, mainly Earth and the occasional Unicorn also came to live there, mainly to escape the perceived macabre of the Necropolis. And the still almost instinctual fear at seeing a large colony of Bat Ponies.

The reason why they came to the Necropolis was a simple system. For someone, be they pony, griffin, minotaur or indeed any sentient creature, who could not afford the services would offer a child, usually the youngest to become an apprentice and be trained as an Undertaker to their respective cultures.

The Everfree Forest is not the only forest to have an unsavoury reputation. The Shades, as the forest of the Foal Mountains is called, is not as fearsome and many fruits almost as exotic as Zap Apples grow in it, Mangoes and Lychee for example. Thankfully to the population of the Hollow Shades, the wood the Shades do not have as much monstrous flora and fauna.

However, the night came to an end, and to keep these creatures away, the rain came.

In the rising light from Celestia’s sun, a figure of pony size dressed in black, complete with hood, and something on his back, covered by the cape of his cloak, splashed into town having come from the Necropolis. He turned into an alleyway and stopped at a door. He looked at it and shivered, no door got so grim without effort. He knocked a complex code on the door and a tiny barred hatch opened in the middle of the door.

“Yes?” a voice said inside.

“The quantum matrix is full of electrical impulses.” The cloaked figure said as he reared up to wring out the rainwater of his garment.

“Freedom is a constant. To embark on the story is to become one with it.”

“It is time to take hope to the next level.”

“Hidden meaning transforms unparalleled abstract beauty.”

“Wrong.” The voice said. The figure jammed his hoof in the gap “What do you mean wrong?”

“That’s not what you’re supposed to say next.”

“What? Did the Black Knights of the Royal Mysteries change the codewords since we last met?”

“Black Knight?” the voice questioned then “Oh, I see, sorry you’ve come to wrong door, your order is three doors down.”

“I always get the confused, the hoof-writing is terrible to read you know. Then who are you?”

“The Corps of the Chrysanthemum.”

“I thought you met in Station Road, you always do the flowers?”

“It’s the Hermetic Order of the Golden Rivet booked the hall tonight so we can’t use it.”

“Oh? Well, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” The window closed. The cloaked figure hurried to the doorway as directed.

This one looked very like the first. Only difference the pair of oak door were covered faded paint, one white, the other black. The figure knocked on one in the same manner he did before. A window opened on said door and the cloaked figure and the new doorkeeper exchanged the nonsensical codes again.

“Hidden meaning transforms unparalleled abstract beauty.”

“The infinite is calling to us via superpositions of possibility.”

“Perceptual reality transcends subtle truth. And right now, reality is trying to drown me, let me in, I’ve got the book.”

The doors jerked and jammed, the voice of the doorkeeper spoke “Could you give it a push, they stick in damp weather.”, the cloaked figure side and rammed his shoulder into the pair of door. They burst open. The figure flew in and crashed onto cold cobblestone floor. The doorkeeper, another figure cloaked in black nodded “Thank you.” And he shut the doors.

More cloaked figures stood around, at the far end of the Inner Sanctum, tall and proud, a coved pony smiled “Ah, Brother Right Hoof, you have arrived.”

Brother Right Hoof said nothing, he focused on wringing out his cloak.

The tallest of them banged a sceptre on the ground and they gathered made a, sort of circle. The sceptre holding pony projected him voice “I call this gathering of the Black Knights of the Royal Mysteries to order.” He looked to the doorkeeper "Is the Dreaded Archway of Secrets secured from intrusion Brother Lock?”

“Jammed shut.” The Brother Lock said, “It’s the rain you know. Going to be a challenge to get it open.”

“Good. We of this order understand we are all equal correct.”

“Yes, Grand Master.” They all said

“Then what I shall tell you may come as a shock. I have found the true heir to the throne of the Necropolis.”

Hoods turned to each other. A hoof bounced up and with a snort “Sorry, dropped off, have we started.”

The Grand Master sighed “Brother Snoop, do you have to keep falling asleep during the gatherings?”

“Sorry Grand Master, it’s passed my bedtime. The wife’s getting a little bit testy with how late in the day I go to sleep.”

“She won’t be so, testy, as you so eloquently put it, when we are the advisors to the new Queen of the Necropolis. Restarting the golden age that his part of the land once had, instead of being ruled be a tyrannical hypocrite obsessed with the macabre. Yes?”

One of the other raised a hoof “But what about Princess Luna?”

“Princess Luna, Brother Guardian,” the Grand Master, with some gnashing of teeth “is to the Necropolis and to that extent the Hollow Shades, a long-distance figurehead. No, the true monarch of the Necropolis lives elsewhere. And we gathered shall restore her to her rightful throne.”

Brother Snoop inhaled unsurely “I’m not sure the Head Mortician is going to appreciate this. The second highest authority of all Bat Ponies get knocked down. Anyway, how are you sure she is the heir? I thought they all got killed when the Great Monster, He-whose-name-we-do-not-speak-in-fear-of-summoning-it, came and stole all the treasures of the mountain, the old royal family and all the nobles.”

“By scrutiny of the ancient scrolls. The Royal Mysteries. I have discovered a branch of the old royal family, as you call it, to give its proper name, the House of Bazaar Robin. This branch has one living member with a special birthmark and a sword.”

“Oh,” Brother Guardian said “you’ve found a Scion. I’ve read about those. They go lurking around in the distant wildernesses for ages, handing down the secret sword and birthmark and so forth from generation to generation. Then just when the old kingdom needs them, they turn up and turf out any usurpers that happen to be around. And then there's general rejoicing.”

The Grand Master clapped his hooves “Exactly…”, before he could speak further another of the gathered, this one a mare and the smallest of them spoke up “We want to get rid of the Head Mortician?”

“Sister, Lord Mark,” the Grand Master said before spitting on the floor “and the position of Head Mortician is nothing more than a tyrant. The past five Head Morticians have been members of the same family, and the last three in a prefect succession from parent to child.”

The Sister titled her head “Aren’t they elected?”

“Their supposed to be. The trouble is the Broad of Directors take the recommandations of the Head Mortician as law.” The Grand Master then looked around at the gathered “I ask you, what has any Head Mortician, and by extent any Bat Pony of the Necropolis,” he glanced at Brother Snoop “present company excluded,” he returned to the others “done for us?”

“Some of the failed apprentices founded the town.”

The Grand Master nodded “Oh, yeah, they did that, years ago though.”

The gathered start making other suggestions, after a while the Grand Master angry banged his sceptre onto the floor and growled “Okay, aside from founding the town and organising its maintenance, and getting the railway here, and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and public order and registering the Guilds, what have the Bat Ponies of the Necropolis done for us?”

The room remained silent. The Grand Master looked for a way to recover his plan “A monarch could easily do this as much as the Head Mortician.”

Brother Snoop held up his hoof “My earlier point still stands, how can we put this Queen on the throne with the Head Mortician’s in charge of the Necropolis.”

The Sister nodded “And Queens haven’t had such a good reputation in recent eyes, the first Queen to come into my head is Chrysalis.”, the other murmured in agreement.

Brother Guardian tapped his hoof on his concealed chin “Well, you could argue she's an Evil Queen. If this possible Bat Pony Queen is a Good Queen we won’t have a problem.”

The Grand Master smiled “Exactly, and we will sure she is a Good Queen, we will advise her on what to do, tell her the best course of action, and in gratitude she of course will make us top members of her court.”

The Sister raised her hoof again “But will the ponies just accepted her, as Brother Guardian said, the old kingdom has to be in danger, there’s nothing that can really put the Necropolis in danger, not unless another Great Monster appears.”

Again, the Grand Master smiled “Yes.” He said drawn-out “Brother Right Hoof, the book.”

Brother Right Hoof took from his cloak a large and thick tome with an ancient inscription on the front and seemingly unaffected by the rain. He walked up and gave it to the Grand Master and stepped back “Could make heads or tail of it.”

“That Brother Right Hoof, is because it is written in Ancient Unicorn. This grimoire dates to the days of the Unicorn Monarchy.”

“Wait,” Brother Snoop said “It’s a spell book? But, how many of us can do magic?”

“We all can. Some the Ancient Master who trained me taught me this, you don’t need to be a unicorn to perform magic. Earth, Pegasi and Bat Ponies all have their own magics, Lord Tirek showed that.”, the gather shuddered at the mention of the centaur. “This book will allow us to create a little chaos in the Necropolis, the Scion will come, with our help she will manifest her destiny and everything will be right in the world.”

The Sister muttered “I hope no-pony will get hurt.”

“Sister,” the Grand Master said, “in this case, the ends justify the means.” He opened the tome and began reading it “To summon and bind a monster, we require chalk, a half-pint of lemon juice, four candle,”

“Well,” the Sister “that doesn’t seem so hard.”

“And, the blood of a virgin. Although it recommends two for added potency.”, a few of the gathered backed up, the Grand Master shook his head “You don’t need to worry my friends, I won’t sacrifice any of you,” ‘Yet.’ “No, we must find a virgin from elsewhere. Preferably one from out of town.”

Moonlight stroked Opal, the cat purred happily ignoring the bustle of activity from her, owner.

Rarity paced up and down her workroom, a half-finished dress and sketch beside her.

The Bat Pony spoke “Rarity, I think you are overthinking your dress. We’re only visit my Dad.”

“But Moonlight darling, your father is the Head Mortician, I must wear something to impress him, and from what you’ve told me about him, well, I think he has our,” she giggled “friendship worked out, so I want to leave a good impression.”

“Dad already knows about your role within Equestria, and we Bat Ponies of the Necropolis don’t focus on appearance, I mean we dress in the clothes of the deceased and we have to work on the decomposing bodies of our clients. All we ask from in appearance in something respectable and presentably, nothing complex or flash unless requested, and neither me nor Dad request you go overboard in your appearance.”

Rarity paused and turned back “I guess you’re right, tell me, what presentable to the Necropolitans?”

“Neatness is top of the list. And at least one item of clothing must be black. Generally, this means a black armband.”

Rarity hummed “That’s not much to go on. Is there a general style?”

“Not really, we just wear what we like, or what we’re given. One must do with what one has. As knowledgeable about fashion history as I am, I don’t really strive to be fashionable, we Bat Ponies have more important things to care about, not to say fashion can’t be important. Can you not simply wear your Gala dress with say a black hat.”

She inhaled sharply in horror “I just couldn’t! I designed that dress to be as prefect for the Gala, I couldn’t possibly use it in such a place as the Necropolis, and wearing a black hat would absolutely ruin it.” She blinked and tapped her hoof on his chin “But perhaps the black hat would work as a starting point, is that a requirement?”

“Until recently it was tradition for mares to wear a hat inside the Necropolis. I must add, whatever you design it shouldn’t be overly casual, festive, or revealing, and should have sleeves.”

She nodded and went to her desk. She looked at Moonlight and examined his attire. She kept herself from admiring his body in the tight fight and focused more on the style. It looked style wise old-fashioned, but it probably be because it got made several decades, if not centuries ago. So, she decided on an older looked too.

She took a pencil in her magic and started modifying her initial design “I must say Moonlight I’m surprised, Opal’s usually so, usually I would say shy, but maybe the more appropriate word is, unpleasant.” Even to herself admittedly, the only pony Opal so far didn’t mind happened to be, unsurprisingly, Fluttershy.

“I just have this affinity for them, just like Mom. Dad, you’d expect some-pony like him to a cat, but he used to have a little wire hair fox terrier.”

“Oh, it must have been absolutely adorable.”

“I don’t remember much, he was old dog when I knew him.”

She nodded and continued her work.

A few hours later, the door to Carousel Boutique opened and first walked out Moonlight, with Opal rubbed the back of his robe. He brushed some of the snow off his ankle guards.

Rarity came out next in her most recent creation. a dapper pinstripe suit, with tails and a high shawl collar, the sleeves having puffs at the shoulder and taper to the elbows then tight around the rest of her foreleg and ending at her fetlock. White shirt and black cravat tied with soft bow. To complete the look, a large and floppy brimmed black hat. Over her new suit, she put put on her winter coat.

She put the closed sign on the door and locked her shop up “Now then, to Fluttershy’s, she’s agreed to look after Opal.”

He nodded “Then off to the station and then onto the Hollow Shades.”

She raised an eyebrow “You’re not wearing anything extra?”

“I grew up deep within cave. I’m used to the cold.”, she nodded and the pair walked through the snow ploughed and gritted streets to Fluttershy’s cottage.

The Post Master looked at the letter Master Façade gave him “Express delivery?”

“Yes, a problem?”

“No, it just we don’t usually get letters from Day Ponies being sent express to a Bat Pony.”

“She’s a friend of mine Mr, I haven’t seen her for a while and only recently do I have the time to give her a tour of the Necropolis.”

“Alright, but it won’t be going until the Night Mail arrives.”

“Don’t worry, as long as she’s here before Heath's Warming.”

“Oh, you’ll be sure of that. Hey, did you hear, there was a robbery at the Archives in the small hours of the morning.”

“No!”

“Oh, yes, dangerous magic from what I heard.”

“We’ll, I’ll be sure to inform the Head Mortician when I can.”

On the train, Moonlight carried the lighter of their luggage, when he told Rarity to pack for a few days he didn’t expect her to come ready with enough items to look as if she planned to move to a new house. It took the combined effort of both himself and Spike to get it from the Boutique to the station and with Mr Perks help to get it on the luggage van. He did receive a small but stern word from Spike about treating Rarity properly.

Moonlight argued she didn’t need so much, but she said you never knew when, Moonlight thought it would be more of an if, you needed it. Admitted he did find himself without a few items here and there on his journeys, and he would often buy those items, then on return to the Necropolis gifted it to the charity bin for any-pony to use.

He explained to Rarity, then he stopped and looked inside a carriage compartment through the window “This one’s empty.” He opened the door with his wing and then flew up to put the luggage on the rack.

Rarity entered grandly “I must say, this is the first time I’ve ever travelled First Class, Twilight humbly uses the Economy Class like every-pony else.” She looked up and smiled as she watched him. The beat of those esoteric limbs spread across his body and the ripples showed against his clothes. He took off his cloak and neatly folded it up next to his case.

Her eyes narrowed at the birthmark on this neck, a double-headed bat, she did catch glimpses of it once or twice, but she never asked about it until now “Moonlight?”

“Yes?” He landed and turned to her.

“I don’t wish to pry into something personal, or something you don’t really want to talk about, but, your birthmark.”

He sighed with a knowing smile “Had to be asked eventually, I inherited it from Mom, me, Night, and my elder sister…”

“Elder sister?”

“Violet Glow. Since Night’s in the Royal Guard, she’ll inherit the lion’s share of the family fortune, including the sword Mom carried for some reason, and given she’s had quite a successful apprenticeship, and is a rising star of the Mortuary she’ll probably be given the position of Head Mortician after Dad by the Board of Directors. You know that’s actually like the succession of the old Bat Pony Royal Family?”

“Really?”

“Oh yes, sit down and I’ll explain.”

The Necropolis started as a mining colony. It grew wealth with precious gems and metals and become the de facto capital of Bat Pony culture. The first king, Bazaar Robin seeing the succession problems of the Unicorn Monarchs and how the Pegasi overthrew their Emperor and established a republic, although it seemed more a mix of a monarchy, democracy and an aristocratic oligarchy, decided on a mix of the two systems, with one elected King, or Queen, ruling for life.

The House of Bazaar Robin’s status as a dynasty is rendered problematic by the official elective system, which implied members of the same family, including illegitimate offspring, could be chosen to rule by a council of nobles, often these nobles got, persuaded to vote for one candidate by bribes or bigger army diplomacy, or both. This often resulted in Kings and Queens being swapped after only a few years, like the House of Bazaar Robin were playing a game with the throne. In the end only one small branch remained, and Moonlight did check the records it did exist, only no-pony could work out where.

Rarity nodded “Your old royal family sounded absolutely barbaric.”

Moonlight sighed and held the bridge his nose with his hoof “I hate that word. Barbarian was original coined by early Pegasi to describe any-pony not speaking Pony Latin, because it all sounded gibberish to them. So, by strict definition it means we’re all barbarian.” His eyes met hers “But also, by saying that you imply we’re inferior because of our customs.”

“Oh, my stars! I didn’t mean that darling.”

“Well, when we arrive, please try and remove any preconceptions.” Moonlight looked at her and sighed “There’s a very bad dogma over the Necropolis and the Hollow Shades. Think of some kingdom characterised by qoute, unquote, backwards customs and forest full of deadly wolves. Only the black forests are even blacker than you expected, and even more full of wolves. Some of which seem to be walking on their hind legs.

“When you finally get to the little town you were aiming for, the vaguely ethnic and again quote, unquote, primitive locals are huddling fearfully in the tavern, refusing to talk to you except to give vaguely-worded and heavily-accented warnings. So, you go up to the castle in the hope of finding some civilization. Bad move.

“Congratulations. You are now in the Shades. Hope you survive, and enjoy your visit.”

“Is there a castle in the Foal Mountains.”

“The Necropolis is technically that, but if you’re talking about a place where Mad Scientists or Vampire Bat Ponies live, then no.”

“There are other Vampire Bat Ponies?”

“Others?”

Rarity bit her lip and explained.

Moonlight leaned back into his upholster seat “Just goes to show that magic can cause just as many problems as it fixes.”

The Grand Master read the grimoire. He need to be certain. His master, and wizard, gaunt and edge and full of guile taught the need for certainty in the use of magic, if you were uncertain you must be wrong, anything uncertain could kill you.

He needed to know which of the monsters it talked about could be used, without the fear it of escaping and causing more havoc than required.

Legends told of the Great Monster how appeared within the Necropolis a thousand years ago and unleased it’s ire on the Royal Family. Like he said to the gathered, a branch of the House of Bazaar Robin existed, he just didn’t know where. His candidate for Queen happened to be a friend who could follow orders well and flourish a sword in just the right way. Any-pony could wield a sword, but only a few could flourish it in a way to catch the light and make ponies admire their skill and say, “There is one I could call Queen.”

He needed to find which monster best fit the common consensus and avoid anything on a similar power level to it as best as possible. The Bat Ponies called also called the Great Monster, He-whose-name-we-do-not-speak-in-fear-of-summoning-it, but after several centuries of calling it that, no ponies knew the original name of the Great Monster.

Page after page he turn. Most of the grimoire is in truth a very large thick Bestiary of known and semi-mythical animals, together with lists of demons, monstrosities, flukes, and ill-tempered things derived from most of the world’s major mythologies and several fictional ones. You don’t know, it could exist somewhere in such a wide universe.

He turned to the next paged and stopped. The Great Monster, the text described its abilities and the image met as most of the rumours. The image show what a deer would look like if it evolved underwater. Not those quaint little sea animals you would occasional find on a coat of arms, not what could be called a sea-stag, no something far more realistic and horrifying.

The Grand Master glanced up at the name, and found it crossed out and inked over. He didn’t know if he felt annoyed or relieved. Next, he looked at the abilities and the power levels. Among the most powerful and some powerful it would affect reality by its mere presence. Probably explained why no-pony found anymore gems and precious metals in the Foal Mountains after it's appearance.

He decided on one of the smaller members of this pantheon, whatever it called itself.

One sub-group looked like it could do, the Grand Master choose to call, a Demon.

One demon took his interest, one of several names, Demiurge, the Fool and Samael, or the Blindness of God. The images showed a lion faced serpent. From the sounds of it a foolish and blind demon would be one easy to control.

The train journey from Ponyville the Hollow Shades equated almost to the same amount of time taken to get to the Crystal Empire, not because of the length of continent between the two stops because comparing the two would be futile exercise, but because the train stopped in Canterlot for a few hours. Primarily for a crew change and to give the passengers time to stretch their legs.

It gave Rarity a chance to check up with Sassy Saddles, the manageress of her Canterlot Boutique. For Moonlight to visit his brother Night Rain. And for the two of them to have lunch together.

The pair walked down the streets and Moonlight narrowed his eyes, not just from the reflection of the light on the snow and white marble, but also out of mild disgust “There’s something about Canterlot I just don’t like.”

“Darling!” Rarity said surprised “I’ve always wanted to live in Canterlot, how can you say something like that?”

“Because I’m a Bat Pony of the Necropolis. I admit it’s a basis cultural difference, but I’m simply being a patriot to my roots. I look at the actions of the elite here in Canterlot and I think, what a waste.”

“A waste?”

“They prefer to let their unwanted be taken away. Their very good at not seeing things they, qoute, unquote, know, are not there.”

As Rarity worked through this double negative quote she considered the words of Prince Blueblood back during their talk at the Gala, and she did agree, certain elite preferred to send their problem away to be some-pony else’s. “Why do you hate waste?”

“Because anything should be put to good use, or at least attempted to be used. Throwing something away without a single thought of the effort put into making it. That gives it a form of life in my opinion, and a life should not be wasted.”

“Then what do you do?”

“We reuse waste materials. We at the Necropolis get stuff for all over Equestria where we reuse them. Bit of wood, depending on the quality can be turned into many things, the truely unusable is burned to generate power. We reforge metal. Use waste cloth to patch and stitch our clothing. Old glass buttons we use in walls and floor for a type of insulations.”

Rarity curled up slightly and asked, “And organic waste?”

“Our cut manes and cropped tails are sent to weavers to turn into hardwearing fabric, mainly for railway carriage seats.”

Rarity blinked "I'll have to check the seat on the carriage then. But what about, sewage?"

Moonlight continued “True the Weather Guild, or the Fundamental Students of the Falling Clouds as they called themselves, supplies you’re stranded levels of rain, but in the Necropolis, it can take years for the water to ran through the rocks. We have underground rivers and lakes true, but we still feel we shouldn’t make something so necessary a contaminated material right from the source.

“We use the water of cisterns run it through filters, take a shower in it, then it runs into atriums and greenhouses where the plants filter the grey water and clean it up, not clean to drink mind you, and we use that in the lavatories. The toilet water goes into a conversational septic system, but instead of going into a drain field or a sewer, goes to outside plants used for landscaping. So, no sewage ever leaves within a quarter of a mile of the Necropolis.”

Rarity nodded amazed “Very well thought out. So, what made your whole culture so focused on recycling?”

“A few things I think. First after the attack of the Great Monsters, our natural resources disappeared, so we could only afford waste material on what little money we could spare from the Undertaking Business, but we made do with what we had and embraced it. I’ve been talking to Princess Celestia about the possibility of exporting our reusable methods, like energy generation and water recycling.”

“Well, darling, I hope you succeed at changing minds.”

“So, do I.”, his stomach growled and turned her “Are you hungry Rarity?”

“As a matter of fact, I do feel the need for sustenance. It is lunchtime after all.”

“I don’t know about you, but I could murder a curry.”

Rarity stopped and the unusual request floated in her head before her eyes lit up “I know just the place darling!”, she gracefully took his hoof and they travelled down into a small side alley of Restaurant Row.

Moonlight blinked at the flashy and friendly opening, and a sign with an elephant. “The Tasty Treat?”, then the scent caught his nose and he hummed in delight. Rarity giggled “Myself and Pinkie came here to sort a friendship problem between the father and daughter who own and run this fine establishment, and we also stood up to Zesty Gourmand.”

His eye widened and he smiled “Really? We’ll I’m glad you did, her views on food? I had to make my own sandwiches every time I came to Canterlot.” He groaned and shock his head “And I hate sandwiches.”

Rarity nodded and walked up the steps to the entrance. Inside a few ponies sat eating, some of them waved at both ponies.

The pudgy Unicorn at the counter heard the door open and turn saying “Welcome to the Tasty Treat, please make yourself…” then he saw who stood at the door “Rarity!”

“Mr Cumin it’s so lovely to see you again.”

From the kitchen, a young Unicorn mare trotted out “And it’s wonderful to see you again, tell me who’s your friend.”

Rarity cleared her throat “Coriander Cumin, Saffron Masala, may I introduce Moonlight Spectre of the Necropolis.”, Moonlight bowed “Charmed.” He stood up again “May I see a menu?”

“Of course.” Coriander said and float a menu before him “Please make yourselves comfortable.”, Moonlight nodded and went to the spare sofa “Evidently a South-Eastern Saddle Arabian style restaurant.”

Rarity turned to him “Have you been to a place like this?”

“In my role as a diplomat I’ve travelled all over Equestria and its protectorates. This type of restaurant is the usual eatery of the Rajas and Ranis.”

“Royalty would eat here?” Rarity said amazed, Moonlight nodded “I’ve dined with them, if a Raja ever came to Canterlot they would probably make a b-line for here.”

A smug grin formed on Rarity’s face “And Zesty Gourmand called this a place for uncultured ponies.”, Moonlight nodded “I can understand where she gets her views. The subtle taste as she calls it, but I imagine at some point ponies would no longer register the taste at all.”

“Pinkie certainly didn’t like it. And I myself found it a bit bland. But let us not dwell on that, we have a lunch to order.”, they both looked at the menu and she glanced at him “I presume you have more experience with this type of cuisine.”

He grinned and looked to Saffron “Can we have the Veg Coltpuri?”

She gave him a knowing grin and trotted to the kitchen. She came back with two bowls. And Coriander gave them napkins.

Rarity took a spoonful and paused, swallowed, tears formed in her eyes and she opened her month to breathed. She took her napkin of her lap and made it into a makeshift fan. Moonlight passed her a glass of water with ice cubes. She downed it “Sweet Celestia!”

“Spicy I know.”

“It almost burnt my tongue!”

He chuckled “Well you did ask me to choose. I’ll have yours as well.” He turned to Saffron “Perhaps Rarity would prefer a Korma.”, Saffron giggled and went back in. She returned with a creamy sauce curry with roughly nine different vegetables and an assortment of nuts. Rarity hesitantly took a bit. Then smiled “Much more to my levels thank you.”

Coriander shook his head “Anything for a good friend.”

Moonlight payed. He gave Coriander several older bits, worn and slightly murky with age, Rarity blinked “My stars! How in Equestria did you get those coins?”

“Usually in pairs.” He replied.

They quickly left the Tasty Treat and went to the station and boarded the train.

Moonlight closed the door to their compartment and smiled “I must say that was one of the most enjoyable lunches I’ve had in a long while.” He turned to her as she removed her coat and his smiled grew slightly “Helps to have a friend with you.”

She blushed “Think nothing of it darling.”, Moonlight chuckled, then he fanned his body with his wing “Have they turned the heating up?”

“I believe so.” Rarity said sitting down “You did say it would get colder as we approached the Hollow Shades.”

“True, but I’m frying like an egg in here.” He proceeded to take his top off.

Rarity’s blush deepened and she looked away. A leathery cover touched her and she looked at the bat wing touching her shoulder “You don’t need to be ashamed. You Ponyville residents don’t usually wear clothing.”

“But you do.”

“Only for formal and occupational matters. And since I’m nearly always travelling I’m nearly always dressed. This is not one of those times.” He folded his top and threw it to the luggage rack, then started to take his bottoms off.

Rarity bit her lip, she felt weak in the knees. He didn’t strip in an enticing way, but she couldn’t help but admire it. Truth be told, she did fantasise the moment since she first met him.

All previous romantic thoughts flew away from that night of the Gala. Blueblood, Tenderhoof, heck even the small interest in Thunderlane after he caught her during the fiasco when she and the girls went to check up on Rainbow Dash at the Wonderbolt Academy. All of them just naïve crushes. With Moonlight, something as simple as a meal, a train journey or a mere conversation became some of her most treasured memories of late.

Moonlight resisted the urge to smirk, he could tell he impressed her, and he really hoped he did. Today for him really seemed one of the best days of his life. Usually he would travel from meeting to meeting, but ever since the Gala he really enjoyed going to Ponyville and spending time with Rarity. Somehow being with her he felt at home, and part of him really wanted to move in, in more ways than one.

Then the promise he made to Spike surfaced and he paused.

Rarity noticed this and snapped out of her thoughts “Moonlight?”

“Rarity, can I ask something?”

“Uh,” she wondered what and hoped “Yes?”

“What is your relationship to Spike?”

She blinked and deflated slightly “Well, I. He’s a very helpful friend.” She whispered, “I like that he has a crush on me, but I don't do much to encourage him, I do have a pet name for him, but that because I find him rather cute. And ever since Twilight’s wedding, when she told me and the girls we’re the sisters she never had, I kind of see Spike as the adorable little nephew.”

Moonlight nodded “Should you tell him.”

“Darling, he’s a baby dragon, I don’t want to hurt his feelings.”

“When he finds out we have a relationship that would hurt his feelings.”

Rarity narrowed her eyes “What makes you think we’re in a relationship.”

Moonlight blinked “Sorry, a slip of the tongue, but,” he folded his trousers and put them with his other clothes, he returned to her and looked directly at her “Rarity. I have found myself thinking about you from almost the moment we meet. For months, I’ve kept thinking you’re the only thing that could improve my every moment. It’s partly why I wanted to introduce you to Dad, to see if he approved of us, in theory, but I’m willing to make it real. Rarity,” he got down on his knee “Would you, be my lady?”

She remained still, but her mind work at a million miles an hour. She imagined their future, and a smile appeared on her face. She wrapped her hooves around him “Yes darling, absolutely!”

He nuzzled her “Thank you.”

She then smiled slyly, wrapped her back legs around his waist and dragged him onto the floor of the carriage.

Master Façade walked into the office of Lord Mark and began reading him desk. He noticed a letter and note. The letter he wanted sent out this morning with a stamp saying “Rejected.”, the note beside it said ‘Façade, I would prefer you to give me a profile of any-pony you wish to visit this city. Until you explain what type of character this friend of yours is, then I am afraid I must reject her access to the Necropolis.’

Façade gritted his teeth ‘Oh, so your son can bring in a Day Pony, but when your own secretary wants to have a Bat Pony come here then you go untrusting. I see. Well then, you asked for it, sir.’ He stormed out and slammed the door.

Hanging from his bar Shadow Mark merely twitched.

The Grand Master began to draw a circle and wrote the symbols down in his finest calligraphy.

Only him in the Inner Sanctum. The others, they left, didn’t think a demon would be control able. Well, the book told him otherwise, he understood the book now. Secrets now his to control. They would be the first to go, unfaithful and ungrateful.

His friend would come from another colony, whether legally or not, he’d set the demon loose, he’d give her the royal sword, she’d play fight it, he’d send it away, everyone would rejoice and proclaim her Queen. He would “advise” her, in truth the Necropolis would be his to control. And if he played his cards right, he might just get into bed with her and his son would be King Under the Mountain.

He laughed. All he needed to do, summon it. The material stood in place, and now the virgin blood. Without a young maiden pony at hoof he decided on a loophole, the book didn’t say anything about a male virgin. And admittedly some-pony in his position would never get much opportunity to enjoy pleasures.

With the hood of his cloak down he used his Unicorn magic to place the materials in their allotted places. Taking a deep breath, he mustered his hatred and belief. His hatred of Shadow Mark, of his abandoned followers, of the current state of the world. His belief, well, his belief he could change it for the better. The Grand Master called out “Demons who dwell in slivers of night, Uncloak your shadow to witch’s sight.” He held out his hoof and levitated a knife. Shutting his eyes and felt the knife go in to his flesh. The right eye pecked open. Both eyes went wide.

He couldn’t describe what existed within the circle, but it didn’t look like the Demiurge, it’s eyes looked to the edge of the circle “Rid This.” The esoteric voice said “You Have Written the Symbols Wrong. Thus, Summoned Not Who You Wished.”, The Grand Master twitched. His hoof hit the edge of the circle and the creature disappeared from the inside.

The Grand Master collapsed to the ground and breath heavily. I worked, somewhat. But apparently, the demon didn’t understand his hoof-writing. If a demon could, presumably no creature could. He would need to think of another plan.

He couldn’t get the demon to get his friend to “slay” it, the only way she could become queen would be divine intervention. His eye widened and he grinned. He started to chuckle, the chuckle grew into a laugh and the laugh grew into a glass shattering scream of joy.

The train arrived at the Hollow Shades in the early evening. Moonlight and Rarity leaned into each other as they alighted. He then went to help the Porters and the servants sent from the Necropolis. Rarity blushed at seeing just how much she did travel with. Then she remembered all the times Spike must have carried it all, and that camping trip, poor Sweetie. Rarity looked down and her lip quivered.

“Rarity?”, she looked up into Moonlight’s burnt orange eyes “Are you alright?”

“Yes, it just, I can be really selfish sometimes.”

“No-pony is prefect Rarity. I mean even Princess Celestia has her moments.”

She giggled “Twilight told me. I just, never realised how selfish I could be. I mean I’m meant to the Element of Generosity.”

“Are you going to let it define you? Because surely Twilight would be simply the Princess of Friendship, she wouldn’t have married Sir Flash, and she wouldn’t be carrying.”

She looked up and smiled “Very true I suppose, but I swear by Celestia I’ll make sure I consider the needs of other before I consider my own, within reason of course.”

“Naturally, and I’ll be with you as well.”, she blushed “Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome my lady. But come on, we should get to the Necropolis before nightfall.”

They walked out of the village and through the forest, she illuminated her horn and he spread out his wings and flash his fang, in the dark of the forest she could see the glint in his eyes, she saw this before in animals and Fluttershy told her it allows then a kind of night vision. She assumed the fierce appearance deterred prey. Did he say something about werewolves earlier?

They existed the forest with a scratch as the sun started to fall. Rarity followed the colours in the sky. The old saying “Red sky at night Shepard’s delight. Red sky in the morning Shepard’s warning.” Predicted bad weather at a certain time. So, if the sky a night looked a purply-blue did it mean trouble over the night?

She looked up at the mountain and saw activity “What’s going on up there?”

Moonlight followed her eyeline and spied the proceedings on the rock face “A sky burial.”

“A what?”

“A sky burial. A traditional Bat Pony funeral, can be done for clients if they request it. The client is place on a mountain side exposed to the element to decompose and to be eaten by scavenger animals.”

Her noise wrinkled “Uh, that sounds absolutely barbaric.”, his burning eyes glared at her, he cleared his throat “We see it as an act of generosity on the part of the client, since the client and his or her surviving relatives are providing food to sustain living beings. And again, it is an act of recycling.”

“But, what about, the bones?”

“Fertilizer, medicines, and glue.”

Rarity stopped. She knew glue usually came from fish, but to use the remains of another pony… She fainted.

A faint breeze brushed against her cheek and she stirred. She heard a voice “Gods and Goddesses here my plea, I would like to have the same powers as Pluto and be the son of him. But make my life go on the same it has. After I am done chanting make the god appear where I am. And tell me the powers I have been given. This will happen at twelve pm the day after I chanted this spell, Amen.”

Rarity’s eyes snapped open and she looked around. The grander of the room would have impressed her if she didn’t focus on being tied to the bed and a black cloak figure standing before the big window and speaking at the moon. In an aura of Unicorn magic floated a book with ancient words and weird images.

The Unicorn spoke “To seal this deal I offer the blood of a virgin.”

Her eyes widened, then she huffed “What make you assume I am a virgin?”

The figure turned to her “Virgin in Ancient Unicorn can mean simply a young mare.”, he levitated a sword. Ornately hilted, the blade full of inscriptions and glowing red. Rarity however felt no heat, presumably some magic sword.

He raised it high and became a blur. Rarity shut her eyes.

Slash.

A load and low roar filled the room.

She opened her eyes.

Moonlight stood reared up, a cut running down his body from shoulder to middle of his abdomen.

The sword tip tapped onto the floor. Moonlight raised his right hoof and slammed into the blade. It shattered.

Wincing as he moved he pushed to hood down and revealed a shocked Master Façade.

Moonlight gritted his teeth and punched the secretary out.

Rarity allowed a bandaged Moonlight to lean on her as they and the Head Mortician looked out at the insane and ranting Façade.

Bat Ponies of the Necropolis imprisoned not in cells of deep and dark dungeons, since how deep could you go when your city is inside a mountain? No, they did pretty much the opposite. Prisoner sat in cages hung from the ledge at the very top of the mountain.

“That book.” Lord Mark said “Was kept secret for a reason. Ponies have lost their minds looking at its pages.”

Rarity looked to him “Do you think he’ll recover.”

“Perhaps. But he won’t be so high up in my staff as he was.”

Moonlight shook his head “Why did he want to install a puppet monarch? This must have been the fifth attempt at such?”

“The sixth.” The Head Mortician said, “And really the original monarchy was just for show as well.”

Rarity looked to him “What do you mean?”

“I’ll show you.”

He led them back inside the fortress city and passed his office. He opened a pair of large door opening to a massive hall. At the end on a few steps stood an empty throne. To Rarity it looked off, trying to be pure gold, but as she approached she saw exactly why it seemed off to her “It’s just gold foil over wood!”

The Head Mortician nodded “Quite so.”

It hardly even seemed wood any more. Rot and worms fought one another to a standstill over the last biodegradable fragment. Rarity prodded it with her hoof, and part of it drifted gently away in a puff of dust. She turned back “But what about all the gold they mined?”

“Used for something else I imagine. The monarchs were so busy trying to overthrow each other and establish themselves they never got around to the grander. Due to this they also never ran the city. Have you ever wondered where the word “politician” comes from?”

Rarity looked to Moonlight who nodded. She smiled to herself. She then looked to Lord Mark, he smiled and nodded to her. And she nodded back.

Author's Note

I don't know how this became the longest chapter.

All I did was try and make a small tribute to Sir Terry Pratchett, will references from the Discworld books, most notably the City Watch series, and I just snowballed.

The Bat Pony Royal Family is based on the House of Basarab, the Princes of Wallachia, the most famous, or rather infamous, member of which is Vlad the Impaler, aka the inspiration for Dracula.

The Two and a Half Feathers

Lunchtime down in Ponyville. Also, down in Ponyville were the Major and Porter. At the Café Hay. They sat at the table with menus. The Major looked up “What are you going to have Porter?”

“Well, I, I’ll have the carrot toad in the hole sir.”

“I think I’ll try to the flower and potato pie. Better call Savoir over before the rush starts.”

“Right sir,” they called Savoir over and made their orders, then the Major asked “What sort of flower is it.”

“Thistle sir.”

“Ah, can I have the toad in the hole instead.”, Savoir rolled his eyes and nodded, Thistle was not a popular flower but the Chef did insist cooking it every occasionally.

Caramel and Sassaflash, both smiling and leaning into each other went to a table near the officers. They waved at the Major and Porter and they smiled back.

Lucky Clover came up as well and sat with the newlyweds and made their orders. Caramel made the exact same mistake as the Major, to which Sassaflash giggled.

Savoir brought in all the orders and Lucky reached into his bag “Do you want some pickle?”

Caramel smiled “Oh yes please Lucky.”, Lucky put the jar down and turned to the Major “Do you want some pickle Major?”

“No thank you, not with toad in the hole.”

They began eating when they heard more hoof steps and the sounds of surprised stopping.

Cold Steel came marching in, dressed in his Second Hoof ceremonial uniform, bright scarlet, medal swinging, a black and spiked pith helmet on his head. He walked up to the Major and saluted “Hello sir, I tried calling at the Hall but I just missed you, I’ve come to say goodbye.”

Lucky looked over “Don’t tell me you got you’re calling up papers at last? Give the enemy a taste of Tartarus for me, will you? And Steel, if you don’t come back, can I have those ten bits you borrowed?”

Steel shook his head and reached into his pocket “There’s no called to be funny Lucky. If you want those ten bits you can have it.”

“I was only joking.”

The Major spoke up “Sit down Steel, every-pony’s staring.”

“Let them stare sir. I wear this uniform with pride.” He pulled it hoof out of his pocket and a load of small white balls fell out. Lucky and Caramel pushed them out of the way. Sassaflash sniffed one and recoiled. Caramel glared at Steel “You’re mothballs landed in our lunch.”

Lucky then said, “Well don’t advertise it Caramel, otherwise every-pony will want one.”, Steel put a load of coin next to Lucky.

The Major called out an order “Sit down Steel, you’re showing us up.”

“Yes sir.” Steel said as he sat in the spare chair of the old soldiers’ table. He took his helmet off. The Major took another bite of his toad and asked, “Where exactly are you going?”

“I’m going to Canterlot sir. Tonight, is the Forty-second annual reunion for the veterans of the Battle of Ambleman.”

“Really? I assume Captain Thicket will be there?”

“She’s hosting, always has, even before she was made Captain of the Day Guard. I served in that campaign with some distinction you know, I should have been mention in dispatches but I think that ran out of paper. I’ll show you.”, the officers protested but Cold Steel took Lucky’s pickle and tomato sauce bottle, much to the grey Pegasus’s annoyance, and put them in the table “You see there were these two huge rocks.” He took the salt shaker and placed it on the edge “And General Kitchens was here. And the Mad Mahdi was there.” Pointed to Porter’s plate.

“Suddenly, there was this great big bugle call and all these Desert Ponies and Akhal-Teke Tribes come rushing towards us and General Kitchens he just stood as cool as a cumber and he said, “Steady colts, don’t shot until you see the red of their eyes!”.”

Porter chuckled “I think he said the whites of their eyes, didn’t he?”

“He did say white, but he should have said red, you see because of all that dust and sand it makes your eyes red. You get a lot of bloodshot eyeballs in the desert.”

Lucky called over “Hey Steel, you finished with my pickle?”

“No I haven’t finish yet. So, anyway, these Desert Ponies and Akhal-Teke they charge at us and we kept repulsing them, and they came at us with these great big choppers! And they were chopping off heads and legs left, right and centre! There was blood everywhere!”

The Major put his fork down and held the bridge of his noise as Cold Steel continued “And the corpses. It was terrible. The don’t have battles like that anymore.” He got out of his chair and put his helmet back on “Well, Major, I’ll leave you to enjoy your lunch.” He saluted and walked away.

Porter watched him go before turning to the Major “I seem to have lost my appetite sir.”

“Yes, so have I. But I’m not one to waste food.” He turned to Lucky “Clover? Can I have some of your pickle?”

“Oh no,” Lucky said smiling “help yourself.”

“Thank you, might help to make it a bit more palatable.” He dug a chunk out and took a bit with the toad. Chew for a moment. Went white and wide-eyed. And ran off.

Porter blinked “What in wide worlds happened to him?”, Lucky came over and sniffed the pickle jar, then recoiled “I don’t want to worry you Porter. But I think one of Cold Steel’s mothballs fell in the pickle and the Major’s just eaten it!”

“What?” Porter exclaimed “Sweet Celestia!” the butler ran off after the Major.

Savoir blinked. Lucky came up beside and explained “I think you’d better ask for the bill later.”, the unicorn waiter nodded.

Sassaflash turned to Caramel “I’ll pay for today, you’d better help Major Fields.”

“Thanks, dear.” He gave her a peck on the lips and ran after Porter “See you later Lucky!” he called as he passed.

The evening came and the Major sat in his office.

Porter opened the door “Excuse me sir, Miss Vigil is outside waiting to introduce his recruit sir.”

“Bring them in, will you?”

“Right sir.” He turned back “Alright Miss Vigil, you can bring your friend in now.”

The Major rolled his eyes.

Vigil walked in and saluted. Behind her an old Earth Pony stallion in a suit, as blue as his coat, with medals, a homburg hat and a small but thick moustache closed the door behind him, “Sir,” Vigil began “I’d like to introduce you to Clark, he wants to join our ranks sir.”

Major Fields nodded and looked to the new comer “Good evening Mr Clark.”

Clark took off his hat “Good evening,” he then stood to attention “Sir!”

The Major grinned “I could tell you that you served in the Royal Guard before Mr Clark."

“That’s correct sir.”, the Major turned to Vigil “You know Mr Clark well?”

“Yes sir.”

“And you’ve known him for some time?”

“Oh, yes sir, I have.”

“And you say he’s a stallion of integrity?”

“And very generous sir. He stood me several drinks at the pub in Huntersfield last Sunday night.”

“When did you first meet him?”

“At the pub in Huntersfield, last Sunday night.”

The Major sniffed then turned to Clark “Well, tell us about yourself Mr Clark.”

“Well sir,” he gave a whizzing cough “as you guessed sir I’ve been a regular solider all my life, I retired about ten years ago and I’ve only been living in the Everfree Kingdom for a few weeks.”

“When did you first join the Royal Guard?”

“957 sir, a year later in 958 I served in Saddle Arabia under General Kitchens at the Battle of Ambleman sir.”

“By Celestia,” Porter blurted out “that’s a coincidence sir.”

“Yes,” the two command ponies chuckled and the Major asked “I don’t suppose you came across a pony by the name of Cold Steel by any chance?”

Clark smiled wearily “You can’t expect me to remember that sir? Thousands of ponies took part in battle.”

“Yes, yes, I realise that, I was only joking.”

“I was in the Second Regiment of Hoof sir.”

Porter spoke up “But Steel was in the Second Hoof sir.”, the Major nodded. Clark narrowed his eyes “It was a long time ago sir, but I seem to remember a Steel, he was always a bit behind every-pony else with drill.”

Vigil pointed with her wing “That’s him.”

The Major shook his head “Well just have to wait till tomorrow to see if it’s the same pony. Now I’d like you to come down half an hour before parade Clark so we can have Miss Rarity fit you up with a uniform. I’ll just swear you in for the mean time.”, they made the small oath to Princess Twilight and Sir Flash Sentry and Clark swore to serve to the best of his advantage.

Next evening the Major grew impatient as Rarity with her tap measure and glasses fitted Clark, “Do hurry up Miss Rarity, there’s only twenty minutes till parade. Can’t you find him a better tunic?”

She turned to him with her head held high in a huff “It’s best I can at such short notice Major, Mr Clark is rather and awkward size.”

“Well you’ll have to alter it that’s all. Must have you fitted out Clark this is a very efficient unit.”

“When do I start training sir?”

“We’ll have training the next parade night after this.”

A knock came from the door and the Major called “Come in.”

Vigil walked in followed by Cold Steel, Lucky and Caramel, the Bat Pony saluted “Cold Steel you see you sir.”

Steel walked up “Alright, alright Vigil no need to show me into the office.” He saluted “Evening sir.”

The Major acknowledged the salute “Evening Steel, I want to introduce you to Mr Clark, are latest recruit.”

Clark meanwhile at hearing Steel’s voice came over with surprise.

Steel turned to Clark “How do you do?”, Clark smirked “Hello Steely, remember me?”, Steel frowned “No, I don’t think I do.”

“Course you do, one four seven eight nine Private Clark.”, Steel grinned “Oh, hello Knobby.”, Clark nodded “Hello mate, long time no see.”

“Yes, yes, a long time.” Steel’s face started to drop “I remember you now.”

Clarks face turned bitter “I remember you now, mate. I remember you very, very well.”

Every-pony noticed the rather harsh delivery of the last part.

Porter spoke up “It’s nearly time for the parade sir. I’ll go a fall the platoon in.”, the Major nodded and follow “It’ll give me a chance to introduce Clark to the rest of the platoon. This way Clark.”, Clark quickly followed. Steel slowly trudged after.

After parade Vigil went to Huntersfield, to the pub and after a few rounds it asked the question to Clark about his harshness to Steel. Clark didn’t say much, but Vigil reading between his lines worked it out.

The two were sent out of patrol and they got captured by some Desert Ponies, Steel managed to escape and Clark believed Steel left in in the desert of Saddle Arabia to die.

Rumours began to run around. Only helped by Steel disappearing.

Lucky sighed as he and Lilac sat in the part. Lilac nudged him “Look at that lovely moon.”, Lucky nodded “Yeah,” he said solemnly “Princess Luna really outdid herself tonight.”

Lilac looked at him “What’s up with you tonight?”

“Well, I’ve got a lot of things on my mind.”

“That makes a change, you’ve usually only got one thing on your mind. Come on give me a kiss.”

“Now wait a minute, there’s a time and a place.”

“This is the time and the place, don’t you love me anymore?”

“I’m mad about you Lilac. It’s just I’m worried about Cold Steel. I asked him about these rumours, he didn’t say anything, didn’t even deny it. Now he’s gone a disappeared.”

“Look, you going to give me a kiss or not?”, Lucky sighed and chuckled “Well, I’m sitting here I suppose.”

Caramel sighed and got up from where he lay in the bed, Sassaflash stirred, he glanced at her and whispered "Sorry dear. I can't sleep, all this talk about Steel is playing havoc with my mind."

She groaned and covered her head with the sheets.

Steel sat down in a chair on the porch of the Retirement home when Cipher came walking up “Late Post Mr Steel.” He levitated three letters onto Steel’s chair. The old stallion nodded and the Changeling went back to his cart.

Steel opened the first letter and pulled out a white feather, then he read the letter ‘Why did you leave your friend out in the desert to die?’

He took the next letter and again found a white feather, the letter read ‘There’s no room in Everfree for a coward.’

The third letter included only half a white feather and the message ‘A coward like you is not even worth a whole white feather!’

Steel gritted his teeth and called “Nurse! I’m going out.”

The nurse nodded “What are you going to do?”

“Something I should have done a long time ago.” He put the letters together and started walking to the gates “It’s the only way.”

Down in the Major’s office Flash sat at the Major’s chair “Gentle-colts, I intend to get to the bottom of this, once and for all. Now Clark, will you tell us exactly what happened between you and Cold Steel in Saddle Arabia?”

“Well sir, we were on patrol and we were captured by a pair of Desert Ponies. They pegged me out in the sand and they took Steel with them. Somehow, he must have managed to escape, but he didn’t come back for me. I must have passed, but I can just remember this native bending over me and going through my pockets. I awoke in hospital, that native must have saved my life, even if he did pinch my wallet.”

The Major hummed “I still don’t believe Steel you have left you to die.”

Clark then shouted, “Then why has he cleared off?”

The door to the office shut “I’ll tell you why I cleared off.” And Steel walk up.

The Major turned wide-eyed “Steel? Where have you been?”

“Permission to speak sir? Firstly, I would like to thank you for having faith in me sir. Up to now my lips have been sealed, but now I can speak truthfully and tell you what really happened.” He turned to Flash “You see sir, it all occurred a week or two before the Battle of Ambleman. Private Clark and I were part of a patrol sent out by General Kitchens to find out the strength of the Mad Mahdi’s army.”

As Cold Steel recounted his tell the memories played out in his mind.

Private Cold Steel marched in a line of desert camouflaged guard-ponies behind a pair of desert chariots. These were early experiments in auto-magic.

On the forward chariot rode a Colonel, tall and a resolute as iron. Behind on the other chariot rode a young Second-Lieutenant, the Colonel’s nephew.

Behind Steel and the Privates matched a course Bat Pony Sergeant, Ironsides, he constantly shouted at the soldiers, giving them the black side of his tongue.

Steel looked up and saw vultures flying overhead, he did all he could not to shudder.

As they rounded a corner an old and withered Desert Pony sat in the sands and waved his staff at them “Turn back! It is written in the sands, that before the sun sinks all of you shall be dead!”

The Colonel passed him and called over “Rubbish, clear out the way old fool.”

The old Desert Pony went on “Do not go against the will of God. What is written in the sand is written in the sand!”

None of the other took notice. But Ironsides gave him a stream of heavy curses words. The old pony then replied something in Saddle Arabian. Steel, having been given a crash course of the language in Buckdad believed it to be a curse.

And it seemed to work.

At midday, an arrow flew into the patrol’s path, followed by a barrage.

“Take Cover!” called the Colonel.

Sergeant Ironsides repeated the order as the patrol rushed to a rock formation “Take cover! Take #%&*&$# Cover!”

The soldiers readied their crossbows.

An arrow hit the chest of the Second-Lieutenant. Steel rushed over, laid the young stallion out and gave him a drink, panting and turning pale the young officer nodded “Thank you, Steel, you’re a good chap. Dash hard luck, happening like this. I want you to promise me something.”

“Yes sir?”

“When you get home to Equestria, tell Mother I couldn’t help it.”

“Help what sir?”

“Falling off my chariot.”

Meanwhile the soldiers load and fired, reloaded and fired.

Ironsides called “Keep your #%&*&$# head’s down!”

From their position on a high plain they could see the charging hordes of Akhal-Teke and Desert Ponies.

“Blimey!” a young solider said “There must be thousands of them.”

“Shut up,” Ironsides called “and keep your #%&*&$# head down.” He turned to the Colonel. “I don’t like the look of this, sir. That #%&*&$# Mahdi means #%&*&$# business.”

“I think you’re right, Sergeant. As soon as it’s dark we should send some-pony for help.”

“Permission to speak, sir?”

“Yes, Steel?”

“I’d like to volunteer as the pony who goes and gets help.”

“All right, Steel, good chap, and take that fellow, what’s him name? Clark.”

The pair of Clark and Steel crept out during the night and come morning they trudged through the sand dunes.

All the time the sun beat down on them. Steel wiped his brow and resisted the urge to curse Princess Celestia.

The two stopped for a rest. And as Steel found the water bottle empty a pair of shadows covered them. They looked up and went stiff with dread.

Two Desert Ponies, wrapped up and scowling stared the two Royal Guard ponies down, spears and bows and arrows at the ready.

Steel true to his name held his head high and glared at them to say, “Do your worst.” Clark fell to the ground and started begging for mercy. Steel turned away and shook his head.

Instead of being merciful, and having a hatred of cowards the Desert Ponies drove posts into the sand and tied Clark to them.

They tied a rope around Steel’s legs and dragged him for miles.

After hours of this torture they stopped and prepared a meal. One of them started lighting a fire. Then the other berated him for something. The pair pulled their knives out and began fighting and moved away from the slowly rising fire.

Steel seeing the distraction before him shuffled over to the flames and burnt through the rope, much to his own distress. After he accomplished this he pretended to still be tied up encase his captures noticed.

Suddenly, one of the Desert Ponies threw his knife to the sands and ran off. The victor shout something, which Steel roughly translated to “Ruddy Hooligan!”

Steel them remembered, and realised why this fight might have occurred, Desert Ponies can’t stand fire, an entire tribe of Pyrophorics.

The victor approached.

Quickly Steel stood up and took a burning stick and held it to the Desert Pony’s face. The transform made Steel’s eye widen, the pony before him went from a proud warrior to a gibbering idiot, his nostrils flared and he fell back shaking and squirming. Steel now with the upper-hoof made the Desert Pony take his robes off.

Steel put them on over his uniform and ran off back to Clark.

When he found the strung-out stallion, Steel took him for a goner, so he started looking through his pockets for his belongs to send home. He found Clark’s wallet, and inside he found an image which even in the heat of the desert, made his blood ice over. A picture of the Colonel’s wife.

The Colonel was a stallion a high moral fibre, but rumours abounded about his lady being less so. Steel looked to Clark and back to the photograph, and he shivered.

Clark groaned, which brought Steel out of his daze. Steel put his ear to Clark’s chest and heard his heartbeat. He slung Clark over himself.

After a nightmare journey through the desert Cold Steel saw the relief column. He shouted out to them as he approached.

“Private Clark was taken back to Headquarters,” Steel finished “And I never saw him again until last week. I kept that secret close to my chest for all those years. No-pony knew, apart from me, Private Clark and the Colonel’s Lady.”

Flash nodded but asked, “Why couldn't you have told any-pony when these rumours started?”

“Well sir, there could have been a chance the Colonel or his lady could still be alive. That’s where I’ve been, up in Canterlot looking at the Royal Guard records. And I’m thankful to say that the both the Colonel and his lady are beyond the reach of scandal.” He pulled the letters out. “And now I have a chance to burn these letters.”

“Letters?”

“Three ponies, I don’t know who, sent me the white feather.”

Flash blinked and scowled. “Well, at least we ended this scandal both it went any further, although I would have preferred no white feathers at all. Now to deal with Clark.”

Porter spoke up, “I think he went out few minutes ago.” The Major turned to him. “What?” he exclaimed. “Why didn’t you stop him? He’s not going to get away with this you know.”

Flash nodded. “Indeed not.”

Steel waved a hoof. “Let him go, he’s not worth the trouble. The Home Guard voluntary after all.”

Flash sighed. “Well, if you want to turn the other cheek I’ll respect that. But if Clark does return, I’m in half a mind court-martial him. Right now, I need to get back to the Castle, Twilight might get moody with me gone.”

“Good night, sir.” Steel saluted. “And thank you.”

Chosen Apples and Screaming Pearly Lords

“So, what in tarnation is this Choosing Stone Pinkie?” asked Applejack, she and Big Mac sat with Pinkie and Maud on the train headed to the Pie Family Rock Farm.

Pinkie shrugged “I’m not really sure. Mom and Dad told me it’s what helped the Pie Family have health and stable relationships for generations. You put your hoof on it and somehow it guides you to your one true love.”

Big Mac gave a sigh.

Pinkie leaned into Applejack “What’s up with Big Mac?” she whispered. Applejack whispered straight into Pinkie’s ear “He and Sugar Belle broke up recently.”, before Pinkie could gasp and shout AJ put her hoof to Pinkie’s mouth “Let’s not make a ruckus we already got that from Apple Bloom. Big Mac’s sad as it is, I don’t want it any more got it.”, Pinkie nodded and whispered “How? Why? They were so cute together, they were so prefect for each other.”

“I can hear you, you know.”, both mare turned to a slumped Big Mac “We had our prefect moment, but when you reach the peak, all you can go is down.” He sighed again “I don’t regret a second of what happened between me and Sugar, but I think all we really focused on was our love and nothing else. Hearing about Mom and Dad back when Grand Pear came back to town, well, it got me remembering them and, what they had, wasn’t what me and Sugar Belle had, and I think we both knew it. It wouldn’t have lasted.” He gave a sad smile “Sugar Belle will always be my first love, but maybe not my true love.”

Pinkie then jumped off her seat “Then this’ll be great, the Choosing Stone will show you who’s your, and if you find yours in time for Hearth’s Warming then we’ll throw a big party!”

Big Mac chuckled “Yep.”

“Pinkie?” Applejack asked “Why in tarnation did you invite us? I know we’re like distant cousins and all but do you really think this Choosing Stone will work for us?”

“Dad said to Granny Smith it would work.”

“Anyway Pinkie, I’m not really looking for romance, you know I’ve got my work on the farm, same a Big Mac. Winter it may be, but this is the time we make jams, and with Grand Pear here for the holidays we’re starting to try pear jam.”

“Yeah, but if you find your special some-pony you’ll have extra help.”

“I guess.” However, AJ still looked unsure.

By the time the trio made it to the Rock Farm the Pie Family all stood waiting for them. Pinkie rushed up and hugged them all, especially Marble. Without much ceremony and very little word Igneous Rock Pie and Cloudy Quartz escorted the very extend family inside. Applejack scratched her head “I imagined the Choosing Stone was inside a cave or something.”

“In the very beginning,” Igneous said “It was, but thy Grandfather knew something as important needed to be kept safer, so he rebuilt the homestead over it.”

Limestone blinked and hastily asked “Some wait Father, you’re saying the Choosing Stone is right under our hooves?”

“Thou are correct, that is precisely what thy in suggesting.” He pulled a carpet from the floor and revealed a trap door.

Pinkie turned to her mother “Well that explains why your always careful when sweeping around there.”, her mother gave small chuckled and nodded.

Igneous opened the door and almost immediately Pinkie cannonballed into it. Limestone rolled her eyes and she and Maud followed. Marble bit her lip. Big Mac gave her a nudge “Lady’s first.”, she blushed but nodded with a smile and walked through the door. Cloud and Applejack followed closely by the stallions.

The darkness of the basement stopped at the soft purple glow of a large rock with crystalline fragments.

Maud walked up and looked it over for a few second and blankly said, “The Choosing Stone appears to be an incredibly large example of Magically Treated Purple Bertrandite.” She glanced to Pinkie and Applejack “Starlight and I have gotten into discussions of Magically Treated Stones.”, the two Council members nervously glanced to each other before Maud added “Purely for academical reasons.”

Applejack soften slightly “Okay, but how in Celestia does a lump of some magic rock guide you to your soulmate or whatever?”

Maud answered again “This is something me and Starlight have talked with Tree Hugger about. Certain Magically Treated Stone give off vibrations which open the chakras, Purple Bertrandite is a rare and highly desired MTS as it has many properties. It opens to third eye, the heart and throat chakras, allowing brief physic communication, an increase in unconditional love and better communication skills.” She turned to the Choosing “A piece this large has never been discovered elsewhere in Equestria, just standing next to it gives me a sense of awe.” She blinked “Wow.”

Applejack turned to Big Mac and Marble “Did either of you understand that?”

“Nope.”

“Uh-uh.”

Applejack turned to Pinkie “Did you?”, Pinkie passed air through her lips and waved off the question “Course I did. The magic in the rock puts a couple of images in your head of your one true loves, makes falling in love with them easier and gets you talking with them a whole lot easier.”

“Tis true.” Cloudy Quartz said, “As we explained to thy Grandmother Smith, we were betrothed within a fortnight of Igneous Rock Pie touching the Stone.”

Marble blushed, Pinkie went “Aww.”, Limestone raised an eyebrow “Isn’t that a bit fast?”

Igneous shook his head “Thy Mother and I lived close to each other and knew of each other for many years. Pie relationships have been known to be between ponies from across Equestria and even rivals.”

Applejack and Big Mac glanced at each other. Cloud Quartz walked up to the Apple Siblings “Do thou wish to try the Choosing Stone.”

“Well,” Applejack said slightly awkwardly “I think me and Big Mac will wait till your daughters go first, we are your guest after all.”

“Yep.”

Cloud Quartz smiled and nodded.

Limestone trudged up to Maud “I’m the eldest I’ll go first.”

Igneous spoke up harshly “You will all touch the stone together. Mine siblings and I did so as mine Father and mine Aunts and Uncle did, as well as they’re Fathers and Mothers before them. One rock is not superior to the other, they are all of the same earth.”

Pinkie grabbed Marble and practically pushed her to the Choosing Stone. The four stood around it and Pinkie called out the time “On three. One. Two. Three!”, they’re hooves touched in unison. The purple glow increased and filled their eyes, which all widened. Mane and Tails stood on end.

The glow died down. The four took they’re hooves off. Pinkie’s mane and tail went extra puffy and she smiled wildly “Yay!” she yelled and jumped about “I know who me Choosing is! I’m going to throw the biggest party when I find him!” She jumped to each of her sisters “Did get something like what I saw?”, Limestone still in shock just nodded shallowly, Maud answered simply with “Yes.” And unsurprisingly Marble went “Mm-hmmm.”

Pinkie squealed and jumped about “All my sisters are going to meet the one true loves! I’ve never been so excited in my life, well maybe that time when Twilight…” Applejack quickly jammed her hoof into Pinkie’s mouth “Alright Pinkie, you had your, very loud say. I don’t think your family want their eardrums to bleed.”

Maud spoke “We’re used to it.”

“Speak for yourself.” Limestone said passing the Apples to up into the living room.

Marble blushing passed Big Mac without even glancing to him. Big Mac narrowed his eyes and hummed. Applejack turned to notice “What’s the matter Big Mac?”, he shrugged and turned around “I guess Marble was just being friendly with another quiet pony.”

“Wait,” Applejack said taking her hoof from Pinkie’s mouth “You thought Marble might have had a crush on you.”, Big Mac blushed and looked away.

Pinkie went “Aww, that would have been so cute.” She paused “But I guess whatever powers there are in the universe have other ideas.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow “Powers in the universe? Pinkie, I didn’t expect you to go all Silver Enlightenment, that’s what I’s expect the Reverend Farthing to do.”

“I’m not going all Silver Enlightenment. But answer me this Applejack, if there’s no guiding hoof behind the universe, how come bananas are just the right shape and size for your mouth?”

Applejack face-hoofed “Can why hurry this along, me and Big Mac have got work on the farm to do.”

“Yep.”

Pinkie and Maud stepped out the way of the Choosing Stone and the Apple pair walked up to it. Applejack glanced to her brother “Are you sure we should do this?”

“Nope.”, she read his expression “But you want to know if you have a one true love?”

“Yep.”

“Well,” Applejack said turning back to the stone “Only one way to find out.”

“Yep.”

The pair touched the stone. Once again in increased its glow.

Applejack’s eyes widened and she went stiff. A powerful tingle coursed through her. Her sight went black and a couple of images went through her head.

The first what she assumed to be a cutie mark. And an unusual one. First thing of notice being the equines shaped happy and sad masks associated with theatre. However, the two masks got fused at the top to from a cube shape, and at the top a slot with a piece of paper with a x on it being posted into it.

Next a circus tent.

And finally, a Griffon Settlement.

The images went and the feeling of nauseas and an increase of her heart pumping remained, shaking she glanced a Big Mac. He blinked wide-eyed and almost with the thousand-yard stare. Applejack nudged him “You okay big guy?”

Big Mac shook himself and glanced at his sister “Yep.”

“You saw a cutie mark and a location.”, he nodded “Yep.”

“I hope it closer to you. I got a circus tent in Griffon Country.”

Pinkie jumped up beside her “Does that mean you’ll have a Griffin as your Chosen.”, Applejack turned to her with an expression which read “Seriously.” After a second or two she spoke “Pinkie, Griffon can’t get Cutie Marks.”

“A Hippogriff then?”, Applejack considered “Maybe, but I have the feeling it’s a pony.” She turned to Big Mac “How about we go home and discuss this with Granny, Grand Pear and Apple Bloom. I show also tell the girls.”

“Yep. I’m also going to need to check on Cheerilee, that sprain of hers is still play up.” The way he spoke got Applejack to raise an eyebrow.

“Griffon Country?” Apple Bloom asked. Granny Smith and Grand Pear looked equally surprised.

Applejack nodded “I know it a bit sudden, but I got this draw. I don’t know how to describe it.”

Both the elderly ponies chuckled and Granny spoke first “Kind off reminds me of you Ma and Pa.”, Grand Pear nodded “We should be able to handle to work AJ.”

“Actually, I asked around for some help on that.”

A knock came from the door and Apple Bloom opened it and immediately smiled.

Twilight, Flash and Reverend Farthing walked in and started taking off their winter clothing, the Princess explained “Sorry we’re late, but Flash wanted to me to take things slowly in my condition.”

“That’s alright Twilight.” Applejack said, “Thanks for doing this.”

Flash chuckled “When you left Twilight mood went all excited, I should have told you she’s developed a craving for apples.”, Twilight blushed.

Applejack chuckled too “Well, how about that.” She slapped Twilight on the back “Just means that your little trio have got good taste.”

Grand Pear huffed. He then turned to Reverend “Do you know anything about jam making?”

“Well,” Farthing said taking a seat “one of the guest lecturers at Crown’s House was a vicar from the Griffish Isles. He had an orchard, and a traction engine for some reason. I went to his parish as part of my training and he did some jam making for the Summer and Winter Fairs, good stuff too.”

Grand Pear nodded at this.

Applejack looked about the room and nodded herself “If every-pony's okay with this I need to get going.”

Apple Bloom ran up and hugged her sister “Good luck AJ.”, Applejack ruffled her mane “Don’t you worry Sugarcube, I’ll be back before you know it.” She slung her pack on her back, wrapped her scruff around her neck and trotted out the door and towards the station.

Applejack ran her hoof along the map of the tracks. “So, if I take the train to the Crystal Empire. Then exchange for the train going through Rainbow Falls, then over that weird bridge…”

“You mean the Royal Borders Bridge Miss Applejack.”, the farmer turned to the voice.

Lord Blue Moon and his Grandson, Greater Thunder walked up to the platform. The Viscount Boxer tapped the image of the bridge passing over the expanse of the North-East Passage, the icy river which marked the northern border between Equestria and the Griffon Country. “That bridge was designed by my Grandfather, Glittering Iron, the Kingdom Engineer, he built the Equestrian National Railway, and for that he was honoured with the creation of the title Viscount Boxer, Boxer House being the family home.”

“That must have been a feat and a half.” Applejack comment amazed.

Thunder nodded “I’ve read his notes on the task, and the stresses involved.” He cleared his throat and shut his eyes “If ever I go mad I shall have ghost of the opening of the railway walking before me. And when it steps forward, a little swarm of devils in the shape of half-finished stations, sinking embankments, broken screws, unfinished drawings and sketches will quietly lift up my ghost and put him off a little further.”

Applejack tilted her head “That last part seemed a little tame compared to the language before it.”

“Canterlot stiff upper lip.” Said enough, more jovial voice. Applejack turned around as Mr Waterbury and Firelight walked up. Morals paused and turned to the farmer “I hear you’re heading to Griffon Country, as Foreign Sectary it’s my duty to inform you to behave yourself, you know what Griffons are like.”

“I sure do, don’t worry yourself Mr Waterbury, I won’t get into trouble.”

“I’ve that before.” He muttered before turning the Viscount “Can I escort you and your grandson home? We have much to discussed.”

“I believe so.” Lord Blue Moon said and the four of them walked away. Thunder and Firelight behind their relatives and talking to each other.

Applejack turned back to the map and followed the line from the Royal Boarders Bridge to Griffonstone Station. She could tell she did need to the go to Griffonstone. But where to?

A whistle took her attention and Mr Perks called out “Ponyville Station!”

The train pulled in and quickly ran around as Perks called out “This is the non-stop train to the Crystal Empire.”

Applejack took the announcement and quickly boarded. Almost as soon as she sat down the train moved off. Alone in the carriage she pulled out a map Twilight gave her of the Griffon Country.

What Applejack gleaned from info from Twilight’s books on Griffon history. While the throne of Griffonstone was the most powerful and the de facto leader of the Griffon Country, it was quite federal, the land includes dozens of smaller states and fiefdoms and tribal areas. Each with their own leaders, always male, Griffons are a very patrilineal, and they often got into disputes.

For a brief period, the Griffons tried to act in cooperation with each other in a Confederation of these various states, but this feel a part as states wouldn’t pay the Federal Assembly and the government collapsed, King Grover of Griffonstone saw the only way at the time to unite the Griffons was through force, and ultimately through magic.

And now, from what Rainbow, Pinkie and Apple Bloom said, it might be possible the Griffons are slowly reuniting under the Magic of Friendship.

Right now, however AJ needed to find which area of Griffon Country would most likely have a circus, and why would a circus go to the Griffon Country, apart from Gabby, well, Griffons didn’t have much of a sense of humour and Gilda especially seems very unpleasant, at least before Rainbow and Pinkie were sent to Griffonstone by the Map.

As she looked about the regular map she felt her heart react when her hoof landed on the Duchy of Hiss, south of Griffonstone.

Still it would take a good few hours to get to the Crystal Empire and then onto Griffonstone Station, so, Applejack decided to get some sleep. She pulled her Stetson over her eyes and let sleep come naturally, the last thing she wondered ‘How’s Big Mac search for his Chosen going?’ she did have a fairly good idea of who it would be.

Big Mac knocked on the door.

Next-door opened and Cipher poked his head out “Afternoon Big Mac.”

“Afternoon.”

“What brings you down this way?”

“Wanted to talk to Cheerilee.”

“I see.” Cipher helped Riolu onto his back and shut his door “I’m off down to Fluttershy’s, could the two of you keep an eye on my house?”

Big Mac just shrugged “We may be doing something else.”

Cipher raised an eyebrow and took a deep breath, his eyes widened and he blushed “Oh.”

“Maybe it won’t come to that.”

“Not when you live next-door to her it won’t.” Cipher muttered and he turned to walk down the street.

Big Mac frowned in confusion as he watched the Changeling go. Did he really mean what he said?

The door opened and Big Mac turned and looked down. Cheerilee blinked and then smiled slightly “Hi Big Mac.”

“Howdy.”

“I didn’t expect you today. My sprains getting better though.”

“Good to hear.” He glanced around at the snow-covered streets “I don’t suppose I can come in.”

“Of course.” Cheerilee stepped back in “Anything for a friend.” She winked at him. He blinked unsure and walked inside and shut the door behind him.

He looked back to Cheerilee. His mind thought back to how their causal relationship started. They’d been friends in passing since they were foal, he did spare the occasional glance at her in their teenage years, but the two never got a chance a proper to talk to each other, since their occupations were so different and time consuming, Cheerilee begin the one and only teacher in Ponyville and Big Mac, prowling and bucking all day long on Sweet Apple Arches.

The first time they spent time together was on the Hearts and Hooves Day three years earlier. But in truth it was more at the bequest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. The CMC finding that Cheerilee did not have a “Special Some-pony” for Hearts and Hooves Day set up a date for them both, since Big Mac didn’t have anything to do for the day. And because it had been set up it didn’t go well, they awkwardly chatted, for a moment Cheerilee leaned forward, he wondered if she was going for a kiss, until she said he had something in his teeth.

Later the CMC tried again and apparently, they’d spiked their drinks with a love potion, causing the two to fall deeply in love. And from what the other ponies in town said sappy to the point of annoyance and cringing.

As it turned out the potion was in fact a love poison. Basically, it made them so enamoured with each other.

And yes he knew what that word meant, just because he was a farmer didn’t mean he didn’t know what big words meant, often in his time working on the market stall he’d hear costumers of Rarity use words like it, he would use a dictionary to learn the meaning, often to impress Cheerilee with his vocabulary, she seemed the only pony, other than his family where he would speak more often, and more with her then the Apples since his decision to be a more quiet and listening stallion, of course with talking more he did have the occasional slip into rambling, but somehow Cheerilee liked listening to his stories.

Anyway, where did he get off to? Oh, right Heart and Hooves Day and the love poison, since it caused them to become so dedicated to each other they would have spent every moment of their lives together, so he wouldn’t have worked on the farm and Cheerilee wouldn’t be teaching. Of course, the Apple Family could have found another strong stallion, and Mayor Mare could have sent for a new teacher, but thing wouldn’t have been the same, and well, before he and Cheerilee didn’t wish to subject their friends to their sappy, lovey-dovey talk for decades.

And thankfully Apple Bloom and friends came to the same conclusion and broke the poison’s hold on them. Lesson were learnt and fences were mended, but all the same, both Big Mac and Cheerilee were changed by this experience, they began talking more, spending time together, although he feared maybe the poison was still in their system somewhere.

Cheerilee winced as her hoof hit the ground but she shook it off and opened her mouth.

Immediately both said “Can we talk about something…”, they both stopped and blushed. Big Mac cleared his throat and said, “Ladies first.”

“Charmer.” She bit looked down slightly and tapped her hoof on the ground before nodding a looked up “Macintosh?”

“Yup?”, Cheerilee rarely called him by his proper first name, Big Mac being his nickname. Must be important.

“I’ve been thinking, we’ve been bumping into each other and meeting like this for a while now and I’ve heard townsfolk speculating, I’m not one to believe rumours, as a teacher I prefer to get my facts right. But maybe they’re right and we’re just not seeing it.”

Big Mac narrowed his eyebrows, he understood what she was referring to, he’d heard once or twice ponies saying they acted like a couple, and of course the occasional reference to the disastrous Heart and Hooves Day. Just not seeing it. He sighed “The reason why I’ve been hesitating about going further his because of that love poison, what if we still got it?”

“Big Mac,” Cheerilee said “do you know the full history of Hearts and Hooves Day?”

“Nope. Why?”

“The Earth Pony prince and the Alicorn Princess made amends and they did eventually come to love each other, per the records they were the founders of the Blueblood line.”

“But Rarity said that Prince Blueblood is a Unicorn.”

“Presumably the family married more Unicorns, this would have been in Canterlot remember.”

“I suppose that’s true, so they found love with each other and the poison didn’t come back?”

“As far as I’ve read no. But if you think it could still be a problem I understand. We are only second recorded case of the love poison.”

Big Mac blinked “Recorded? We’re going into the history books because of that embarrassing incident.”

“Twilight’s putting it on the history of the EK, but I did tell her not to use are names.”

Big Mac bang a hoof on the table “Anonymous or not I don’t want to be known for that.”

“And you won’t Twilight made sure to record other events for dozens of ponies in the town. Being Applejack’s brother I’m sure you’ve got a few mentions.”

“What about you?”, she shrugged “I don’t mind one way or another, I just want to live my life, and help educate foals.”

“And what about us?”

She smiled after he asked and looked at him straight in the eyes “I would like, us, but I’m okay to take it slowly for now. We’ve both got important jobs.”

He blushed before saying “If that’s what you want my Candy Apple.”

She giggled, walked up and hugged him “Sugar Bear.”

Looking down at her Big Mac felt pleased, and for lack of a better word loved, not by a good friend, sibling, parent, grandparent or any blood relation, but a love all to himself. He leaned down and whispered into his ear “Of course, if you want we can go further.” He felt her stir and then whispered as well “I’d like that.” He felt her nuzzled his body and rub her hooves over him. He moaned as a hoof ran over his abdomen.

She hummed “Well, aren’t you a fit one.”

He shrugged “I do my best.” He looked at her again then leaned in. Lips met. Unlike with Sugar Belle he went rough and she moaned into him and hugged him closer. They kissed again, and again, and again, chained together by small gasps of air. Macintosh stopped mid-kiss and placed his hooves on her sides.

Cheerilee brought a hoof to Macintosh's face, bringing him in for one more kiss. “Come with me.” She pleaded and grabbed his hoof in hers.

Big Mac followed as she dragged him up the stairs. Carefully, she backed into her room, using her hooves to feel for the mattress. She found it and sat down still locked together in a kiss.

Applejack stood on the platform of Hiss Station and stared at the poster for of all thing Banger’s Circus. Carol Banger went around during the Everfree Festival looking for acts, so apparently her Chosen got involved in this, who they were with a Cutie Mark like theirs they had to be a performer. She looked over the acts, amazingly enough Trixie appeared in the top billings, apparently whatever Starlight taught her payed off.

In the middle of the poster one name caught her attention, the Cutie Mark she got shown floated above it, the name made her raise an eyebrow though so much so she read it out load “Screaming Lord Sutch? What kind of parent calls their son Screaming?” She shook her head and followed the directions to the tent, the Big Top.

The stallion operated the Steam Organ looked vaguely familiar, maybe she saw him at the Everfree Festival. Anyway, she bought a ticket and entered. As the only pony in an audience of Griffons she went straight to the back, and at such a high place she couldn’t really see much.

First a mare came in on a sort of seat on one wheel with pedals, she heard the term unicycle, but it went over her head. Still, the way this mare managed to balance so many things at once truly astounded the eyes.

Next Trixie appeared in a puff of smoke and of course did her grandiose egoistical outburst. The Griffons seemed impressed.

Other acts came and went, including the two acts she and Fluttershy helped in Las Pegasus. Also, other animal acts, like trained elephants and lions. Although the lions seemed a bit tame, the tamer stuck out his chair cracked his whip but the lions just sat.

Then in came the clowns. Having seen her fair number of Rodeo Clowns she didn’t think much of this lot. Arriving in a cart much too small for them, which slowly began to fall apart. Mucking about with whitewash and balloon in their baggy pants. None of the Griffons even tittered.

Finally, the Ringer Master, Carol Banger herself walked out and projected her voice “Ladies and Gentle-Eagles. We now present to you one of Trottingham’s greatest entertainers. The one and only Screaming Lord Sutch!”

Applejack quickly looked up and took this information in “He’s from Trottingham?”

Music started playing, the song seemed cheerful alright, the word sunshine just fitted.

The curtains parted. Applejack’s eyes widen. Out into the ring stepped an Earth Pony, with a dark drown coat, bright sky-blue eyes, so bright she could see them from all the up where see sat, and a green mane and tail with more creamer green highlight. The most striking part, his costume, he looked almost as silly as the clowns, black tailcoat with waistcoat and bowler hat, not so bad, but they were cover in white dots, some of them is shapes like horseshoes, bells and play card symbols, hearts, clubs, spades and diamonds. Applejack just sighed ‘He’s going to die, just like the clowns.’

Sutch adjusted his cuffs and softly spoke “Good evening all.”, Applejack blinked, she knew a Trottingham accents, after hearing Sassy Saddles and Pipsqueak, and Sutch here did have it, but it seemed rougher, like the Trottingham equivalent to her accents when compared to the others in Ponyville.

Sutch continued “First I’d like to thank Miss Banger for allowing me to work here. And I’d also like to thank the Parliament in Buckminster for upping the Election Deposit to five-hundred bits, and the less than five percent of voters who made it necessary for me to work.”

The Griffons collectively chuckled. Applejack looked around at them, then back to Sutch as he continued “I’m very grateful to be here, because it’s true that success breeds success then I’m on the pill.”, another larger laugh.

“Now,” Sutch said “I admire Griffon Country, at least you stay within your lands.” He pointed to himself “We, in the Griffish Isle, no a chance.”, there came some knowing laughs “We tried to build an Empire, we stole countries, we stole countries with the cunning use of flags.” Titters continued.

“Sail across the sea and stick a flag in the ground, ‘I claim the Foalland Island for Trottingham.’ And the Native Penguins are going ‘You can’t claim us, we live here! About fifty-thousands of us.’ And we said to them ‘Do you have a flag?’, and they replied, ‘We don’t need a flag it’s our country you twit.’ And we said, ‘No flag, no country, you can’t have one, those are the rules I just made up.’ And that was it, wasn’t it?” The laugher grew as Sutch finished with this bit. He then sniffed and looked about then leaned in “You know, I’ve got a friend who won’t each cheese. You know why? Because it’s got bacteria.” A few more titters.

“It’s got bacteria in it because that’s the whole point of cheese. It’s milk that’s gone off big time! Yet me friend eats bread and drinks cider. I’ve told him the yeast they make bread is a fugus, and alcohol is made by something called fermentation, which in simple term mean ‘You left that fruit sitting around for how long?’”

Applejack burst out laughing, it brought memories, especially the Apple Blight fiasco. In the corner of her eyes she saw a couple of Griffons looking at her, and Sutch himself looking at her with a smirk, it suited him, he winked and then looked back to the curtains and shouted “Nurse! She’s out of bed again!”, she started laughing again ‘If that his reaction to my laugh, what’s he going to say about Pinkie?’

After the show ended Applejack went searching around the back of the tent, where all the coloured carts stood. She turned a corner and saw a conversation, Carol Banger talking with the Lion Tamer “Look Leo, those lions need to be fierce.”

“I’m sorry Miss Banger, they love me too much.”

Applejack chuckled as Miss Banger shook her head and turned away, and nearly bumped into Applejack “Oh sorry miss, wait you’re Applejack?”

“Yep, that’s me.”

Carol bowed politely “What brings you all the way out here?”

“Well,” Applejack rubbed the back of her head “it’s hard to explain, but I need to talk with that Screaming Lord Sutch?”

“He’s packing up his things in tent over there.”

“Packing?”

“This was our last stop on the Griffon Lands Tour, and he was only with us for it. He’s one of the few comedians who can make an audience of Griffons laugh.”

“I saw. Thanks very much.” She walked over to the tent. A simple brown tent with a simple board with the word ‘Sutch. Do Not Disturb.’ Applejack lifted the flap and found him without his costume on and his back to her. But, she still gauged his size, slightly above average, maybe an inch or two short then Flash and Moonlight Spectre.

A small breeze caught his tail and his head bounced. He turned around and looked down at her, he smirked a tilted his head “You’re that pony in audience, sorry if I offended you.”

“Think nothing of it Mister, I’m Applejack.”

“Sutch.” He bowed.

“I thought it was Screaming Lord Sutch?”

“That’s just my stage name, by it on a performance stage or the political.” He turned around and closed the trunk he’d been packing before sitting on it “What can I do you for?”

“Well, kind of hard to explain, specially to a stranger.”

“Then don’t be such a stranger, as we in the Pearlies say “One Never Knows.””

“What’s the Pearlies?”

“I guess someone outside of Trottingham wouldn’t know. If you want we can head down the station and I’ll tell you.” He slung the trunk onto his back.

“I think I’d better explain myself too.”

Applejack explained about Ponyville and Sweet Apple Arches, but she didn’t go into the Choosing Stone just yet.

Most of the time from the Circus to the station and in fact some of the train journey was spend by Sutch explaining himself and his work, his life’s calling.

He was born in Buckminster itself, might be the political capital of the Griffish Isles, but a lot of poverty existed in the local area. His great-grandfather, born a pauper himself, and rose through the ranks to become a Costermonger King, a successful market stall trader, he decided to become an entertainer and raise money for charities.

He made a costume by sowing mother of pearl buttons to an old suit of his and perform in the streets and at fairs and carnivals. So, successful in fact, dozens of charities asked for his help, so many he himself needed help, his colleague Costermongers helped by doing the same and thus Twenty-Eight Pearly Kings and Queens appeared in Trottingham, one for every Borough of the East End, included the City of Buckminster, which his family were the Pearly Royal Family for, his elder brother was the current Pearly King and Sutch himself a Pearly Prince.

“So,” Applejack said scratching her head “What was all that about politics.”

“About five years ago I started a joke party to poke fun at Trottingham’s political system.”

“Party?” What did parties have to do with politics?

“Political Parties, I’ve got no idea why they call themselves parties but that’s what their called. A group of ponies with the same ideas. They send member to represent areas of the isles in government. Trouble is most keep to the idea of what the party wants, not what the ponies living those areas want. And of these politicians could run a whelk stall to save their lives.”

“So, you’re making fun of them?”

“Yes, as leader of the Official Monster Raving Looney Party. It also gives us Pearlies some publicity in hopes it get more ponies to give to charity.”

“But,” Applejack looked at his trunk “what about your stand-up?”

“That, it’s to raise money for charity work, seventy-five percent of the money I get from the gigs go to the Pearly coffers.” He sighed “Trouble is, all this travelling about, I just want a place to call home.”

“Haven’t you got Buckminster?”

“Not since me house burnt down. Anyway, in Trottingham I’m always Screaming Lord Sutch, I can’t be anything else.”

“Sounds like what you need is a holiday.”

“You’re telling me.”

“You can stay with me and my family in Sweet Apple Arches.”, he looked up “You’re joking, right?”

“Nope.” She held out her hoof “Just like you Pearlies, I’m giving you what you need.”, he took her hoof and looked straight at her “Thanks.”, they spent the rest of the journey just in each other company.

Author's Note

Sorry to say this doesn't mean I've got the muse back just yet, I just really wanted to shed some light on what might be my favourite Political Party, yes there is an actual registered political party called the Offical Monster Raving Looney Party, and founded by real life and said late London rock musician David "Screaming Lord" Sutch.

I added in the real life working class London culture of the Pearlies in to further flesh out the character.

You might recognised the Eddie Izzard bit, but the first part is based on entertain Les Dawson, but without the wife and mother-in-law jokes.

I also have no shame in admitting I am a CheeriMac fan, I intended to write this as such even before we got any new of Season 7.

The Great Flag Battle

With Hearth’s Warming coming up the ponies of Everfree started making plans. However, a kink in the armour appeared in the form of the Huntersfield Town Council wanting a say in the “National Celebration.” So, Ponyville Town Clerk, Written Script decided to set up a Planning Committee with some of the most important figures of the tiny nation.

Mayor Mare and Twilight, decided not to join the Committee but put into consideration whatever came about, although in the Princess’s case more to do with Flash as a perhaps, slightly over protective father-to-be. Pinkie Pie and Maud were still on their quests to locate their Chosen Loves but Rarity and Applejack joined the Committee, and Applejack brought Sutch along believing him use to this, having presumably hosted Party Conferences for his Official Monster Raving Looney Party.

Sutch drew his hoof down his muzzle. Every-pony shouted and muttered.

Applejack turned to him “What’s got you Sutch? I thought you’d be used to this stuff?”

“Monster Raving Looney Party Conferences aren’t so, well boring, we shout about joke ideas for policies, like, instituting a “Bill of Lefts” as the current Bill of Right appears one-sided, or puddles deeper than three inches will be marked by a rubber duck, and introduce passports for pets. Then we all dance about to music.”

Finally, Written Script, as Chair-stallion of the Committee, banged his gavel “Ladies and Gentle-colt, order please.”

Rarity spoke up “Can we please go on with it?”

“I agree,” Sutch called nodded “We’ve been here two hours already!”

Written Script nodded and with his magic unveiled a poster and acting as cheerfully as he could be, said “Well, I think we’re all agreed on the poster. Which I think is very nice, tasteful and artistic, and I’m sure Parcel Post will have it printed in time.” He put the poster down and pulled out a clipboard “Now the grand finale will be the Hearth’s Warming Day Celebrations. We’ll be having a March Pass Parade in the morning done by the Everfree Guard and its Reserves, as well as a Fly Pass by Wonderbolts Soarin and our own Rainbow Dash and Thunderlane and I’m sure the preparations for it as in full swing,” he glanced at Major Fields sitting a little way off from him “Is that so Major?”

“Yes.” The Major uttered, bored by the meeting, waved the Town Clerk off.

Written Script, frowned nodded and looked at the clipboard “Now Princess Twilight, and Mayor Mare and the Mayor of Huntersfield will be on the podium, as will myself and other member of the Town Councils and of course the Council of Friendship and their chosen guests.”

Written Script then started to list off the different events to be included and turned to Sutch “…And I think it would be fun to have Screaming Lord Sutch do one of his more, pony oriented stand-up routines.”

Sutch sat up “Oi, Mr Town Clerk, but I’ll have you know I came here to get away from being Screaming Lord Sutch, I just want a break thank you very much.”

Written Script looked around the table “All those in favour?”, seven of the Committee raised their hooves, “All those against?”, Sutch, Applejack and a few of the Huntersfield pony raised their hooves. Applejack looked to Major Field “Ain’t you going to raise your hoof Major?”

“I can’t be bothered this is a waste of time.”, Porter used his magic and raised the Major’s hoof for him. Written Script counted the number “Seven, well, it seems as Chair I have the casting vote, it’s settled then, Mr Sutch will perform at the Festival.”

Sutch groaned and slumped down “I expect some money to go to the Pearlies for this.”, Applejack nodded.

Written Script took his seat and continued “Well, then let us move on…”

The next parade night went on as Sergeant Porter sat in the office. The Major went down to the train station.

A knock came from the door. Porter put his files down “Come in.”

Cold Steel opened the door and announced, “Sir Lionheart, Royal Knight of Equestria.”

Porter quickly stood up and saluted “Good evening sir.”

“Good evening Porter, where’s the Major?”

“He’s preoccupied now, is there something important?”

“I suppose so. You see Flash invited me down for the holidays and we’ve been discussing about the up-coming parade and we both agree it would be good if all decorations and medal be worn. Now,” he leaned in and whispered, “Do you and Major have any Medals?”

“Yes.”

An eyebrow rose “Then why don’t you wear them?”

The outside door opened and the Major, and Miss Grey behind him stopped, he saluted “Sir! I didn’t except you?”

“Just came down to give you orders for the parade.” Lionheart explained before glancing back to Porter “The Sergeant had just told me you had medals yourself. Why don’t you acknowledge them?”

“Well sir,” the Major said opening a draw in his desk and pulling out three medals “They were awarded to me during my time in the Fifth Hoof. I decided since I retired I didn’t need to show off, and since I formed the Home Guard I decided not to rely on my past achievements to earn respect.”

The highest-ranking officer blinked. The Major seemed to have reached a level of pomposity very few reach, the type of self-importance where one doesn’t show their successes, usually this is only something seen in the very high up wealthy, not by a low-ranking military officer. It almost impressed him.

He looked down at the medal to identify them. First a small cross with a side profile image of Princess Celestia with a ribbon of a reddish pink and grey lines. He spoke without looking up “Member of the Order of Canterlot?”

“With all the stuff, I did in my youth in the barracks and ballooning my friend nominated me.”

The next medal, another cross, this one simpler on a dark blue ribbon with a large white stripe in the middle, “The Distinguished Service Cross? The third highest medal for gallantry, how did you get that?”

“A number of the Regiments of Hoof were sent to defend the Duchy of Hiss from a rival Griffon State, Equestria had treaties with Hiss.”

The last medal, a coin medallion with a reddish violet medal with two small white stripes of the boarders and a thin metal bar across, “The Medal for Long Service and Good Conduct with a fifteen-year additional service clasp?”

“Yes, both myself and Porter have them. For me it was forty years of service.”

He turned to Porter “And do you have any other medals?”

“Just one.” And Porter took out from a lower draw his pair, one exactly like the MLS&GC, the other another coin medallion with a ribbon of a wide and dark crimson stripe flanked by a trio of stripes going black, white and black.

Eyes widened and blinked fast and shutting he said, “The Princess’s Medal for Champion Shot!”

“I still practice my crossbow skills, I had to be a sniper encase a saboteur came across our communications station. Though I don’t like being violent.”

“I see, well,” Lionheart turned back to the Major “From one old solider to another I can tell you that you can freely showcase your achievements. And you may be in for more medals.”

The Major raised an eyebrow “How so?”

“Well, Princess Twilight has discussed the idea of an Everfree Medal, to be awarded to all members of the Everfree Guard, to commemorate the establishment of the Everfree Kingdom.”

The Major held a hoof up “I’m sorry but I can’t expect that, gallantry, commitment and skill is one thing…”

“Those are three things sir.” Porter commented.

“Yes, thank you Porter,” Major Fields returned to Sir Lionheart “but issuing bits of brass for any tin pot campaign simply because some ponies were there makes a mockery of the whole thing! Miss Cheerilee wouldn’t issue certificates or trophies out to her students for simply taking part in some sporting event. General Service Medals are the same thing.”

“Major,” Sir Lionheart said sternly “Flash, Chrome Blade and Dauntless Doo have General Service in Saddle Arabian and Griffon Land operations and Flash for helping in the two years of The Troubles in the Gallop Islands of the Griffish Isles.”

Porter blinked “Good grief.”

The Major shook his head “You can tell Captain Sentry that I personally don’t approve, he has the right to issue them, but don’t put my name on the list.”

Sir Lionheart sighed “Very well. But the order still stands. All,” he empathised “medals and decorations are to be worn in the Parade, am I clear Major.”

“Transparently sir.”, the Royal Knight nodded, saluted and left.

The Major turned to Porter “Let’s get the order out, will dismiss the parade tonight, let them find their medals and resemble tomorrow evening for an initial inspection before the Hearth’s Warming Parade on Sunday.”

“Yes sir.” And the two, followed by Miss Grey left office to tell the Platoon.

Next evening the Platoon stood ready, the left of their tunic reflecting light. Cold Steel, who sometimes acted as third in command stood at the front.

The door to the office opened and the Major and Porter entered the hall.

“Platoon!” Cold Steel called “Attention!”, they all stood to attention, Steel marched forward, halted and saluted “Parade ready for inspection sir.”

“Thank you, Steel.” Major Fields said. Cold about turned and marched forward. The Major followed, he glanced back at Porter, and ran into Steel where he halted to take his usual palace in the ranks.

The Major and Porter took their palaces at the front of the hall and began their inspection.

The Major closely at looked Cold Steel up and down and nodded “Very smart Steel, as usual.”, he moved forward to Vigil and his eyes widened before he raised an eyebrow “I didn’t know you had a medal Vigil.” He put his stick to the single medal with a pure white ribbon “Is that an authentic Equestrian decoration?”

Vigil narrowed her eyes “That sir is the Artic Medal for the attempted relief of Yakyakistan commanded by Lieutenant Earnest Settle in 971. My mentor took me and my apprentice peers on it to educate us on military funeral practice.”

“Attempted relief?”

“Yes, when we finally reached Yakyakistan they turned us away. To there and back to Equestria meant a long arduous journey, remember this was years before the Crystal Empire reappeared, so it was a wild and lowly place the frozen north beyond the Crystalline Mountains, with nothing for the eye to behold but ice and snow, so they made the ribbon white.”

“Very appropriate.”, he walked passed a couple of the other older ponies before stopping at Mr Waddle, first the gleaming cross with trefoil clovers at the ends of the arm, hanging from a ribbon of light and dark blue, the Clover Cross, and the burnt brown and red ribbon holding a coin medal with a flight of dragons, the Firebreather Medal, given to any individual on a sanctioned expedition to the Dragon Lands.

The Major waved his stick at the two medals “I thought you disproved of those Padre?”

“Well it was you’re order sir and I didn’t want to disappoint you, nor Captain Sentry and Princess Twilight. They came out rather nice, didn’t they? Chelsea cleaned them with powered chalk and lemon juice.”

“Really?” the Major turned back to Porter “Make a note of that Porter, powdered chalk and lemon juice.”, he stepped forward finding Caramel, smart enough not to do some stupid like wear his rodeo award ribbons, stood in the rank behind, he paused, Zecora?

The Zebra wore a chain around her neck. The Major narrowed his eyes “Is that some form of Honours?”

She nodded “Yes, from the place I was born, you see the insignia is of ivory horn.”

Porter’s eye widened “You mean that’s carved from a rhino’s horn?”, Zecora shrugged “Rhino or elephant it does not matter truth be said, but please don’t think we Zebras cruel, the animals were already dead.”

“So,” the Major asked “how did you get this order?”

“With my potions, I cure the King of a tribe, he gave me this order and I wear it with pride.”

“I see.” The Major cleared his throat “I don’t wish to be blunt but it’ll look a little tacky. Usually something like that is attached to the left side of the lower torso.”, Zecora smirked. She turned and left the rank. Went to the side and took the chain off. Then unattached the insignia hanging from the chain and pinned it to her left side.

Porter chuckled as she returned to her place “I saw the way you pony-folk wear your honours. I predicted you would think it looked as a horror.”

“Smart thinking. I like initiative, well done. What is this Zebra order called?”

“To translate to Equestrian makes the name rough. To properly do between now and the parade, time is not enough.”

“I see, I’ll get back to you on that one.” He continued inspecting the platoon making sure those without medals kept Rarity’s excellent ceremonial uniform in top condition.

He returned to the front “Well done every-pony, you all you splendid. Now we shall be meeting in the town hall at the usual time tomorrow. If you can find anyway of improving your appearances in between now and then would be the cherry on top of a brilliant cake.” He turned to Porter and nodded.

Porter called out “Platoon, dismissed!”

The Platoon stood in one of the spare rooms of the Town Hall waiting.

The Major talked with Waddle “The powdered clack and lemon juice worked like a charm Padre. I haven’t seen these medals look so bright since I got awarded them.”

Waddle smiled “I’m happy to have been of assistance sir.”

A knock came from the door and the head of the platoon turned.

Applejack, in her gala dress looked slightly sheepish “Sorry for interrupting Major Fields, I was just showing Sutch around and I thought to introduce him to the Platoon. Do you mind?”

“Oh no Applejack, not at all. Honour to have a Council Member see us today before the parade.”

Applejack smiled and walked in followed by Sutch, in his Pearly Suit walked in.

They stopped at Cold Steel and Sutch raised an eyebrow and looked to the Major “He allowed to all that ironmongery?”

Cold Steel turned offended “This isn’t iron Mr Sutch.” He pointed to the medal second to the end “This is the Sultan Star, given to me personally by Sultan Waqar in Buckdad in 961.”, Steel then went into a small lecture about the Saddle Arabian Campaign.

Sutch held up his hoof “Sorry, but I got to go and prepare for me act.”, and he and Applejack quickly left.

Steel frowned and turned to Lucky Clover “I was about to get to the best part.”

Lucky chuckled “There’s always next time.”

“Platoon,” the Major called “form up, we should be going.”

The thirty ponies assembled into ranks and they left the Town Hall for the march pass.

They met Flash and the other members of the Full Time Everfree Guard, but the Prince looked put off. The Major asked why. The Huntersfield Town Council, mostly thanks to Foggy Dew requested another guard for the parade, and a platoon of Lady Belvoir’s (pronounced Beaver’s) Regiment were drafted in to do it. Both Princess Twilight and Mayor Mare voiced their opinions of this baffling decision, but the Mayor of Huntersfield kept them in.

Lady Belvoir’s Regiment started out as a progressive section for allowing mares into the ranks, generally however stallions joined the Royal Guard. As time went on only Unicorns joined this regiment, the only non-specialist Unicorn division as Unicorns generally entered the Logistic Corps, like the Royal Magisters and Signals.

In fact, recently number of the Belvoir began decreasing as the Regiments of Hoof opened their ranks to Pegasi and Unicorns. But the Belvoir, or Beavers, carried on.

In the pub of Huntersfield the groups of soldiers sat around the bar. If you stood behind the bar you would see the Everfree Guard in their Purple, with Flash in his Royal Knight regalia, and Miss Grey sitting beside the Major on the right and the Beavers on your left.

The captain of the Beavers, Hussar, a cousin to the Marquess of Cavalry, an old military family of Unicorn nobles, who in fact owned the land which the Equestrian side of the Royal Boarders Bridge rests upon.

Hussar himself an old solider talked with Sir Lionheart who sat in between the two guard companies.

Rarity and Moonlight Spectre entered the establishment. Followed by Foggy Dew and North Sentry, the pair of them appeared be arguing.

The Major turned to Rarity and Moonlight “Care for a drink Miss Rarity, Lord Spectre, it’s my round.”

Rarity smiled “How very civil of you Major Fields, I’ll have a lemonade.”, the Major nodded and glanced towards Moonlight “And you Lord Spectre.”

“Very kind of you Major, I’ll have a Double Scotch.”, the Major frowned, and mumbled to the bar tender to get those drinks.

Foggy Dew leaned in “If you’re offering I’ll have a Double Scotch as well.”

The Major glared “I didn’t extend the invitation to you.”, he didn’t want to talk to the pony who requested the Beavers, he looked back to North Sentry “Mr Sentry?”, North smiled but shook his head “I don’t think so Major, it is the Lord’s day remember.”, the Major looked to Flash and shook his head too.

“Of course.” The Major leaned over the bar “Sir Lionheart?”

The elder Royal Knight turned around and smiled “I’ll have a drink with you lot later, I need to finish the ones Captain Hussar offered.”

The Major frowned but nodded, he felt a tap on his shoulder and glanced around to see Rarity “Major, make it a single for Moonlight, he does get carried away sometimes.”

“Really?” he looked to the bar tender and whispered over “Make that a single, will you?” He mimed taking a drink and nodded to Moonlight, who currently talked with Foggy and North.

From the other side of the bar Captain Hussar called over “Well Fields, did you enjoy the parade?”

“Yes, I thought it was a very smart turn out.” He looked to Flash, Dauntless, Chrome and Sir Lionheart “Don’t you?”, they all nodded.

“Yes,” Hussar replied, “Sorry you chaps were behind us, we couldn’t see your drill.”, his sergeant leaned in and said, “But we heard them, didn’t we?”

“Oh yes,” Hussar laughed “late, eh?” the rest of the Beavers laughed. Sir Lionheart nudged away from them slightly.

Cold Steel glared at them.

The Major spoke up “Yes, well, unfortunately the wind was blowing away from us.”, and Steel leaned forward and said, “Some of us had difficulty hearing the words of command.”

Hussar chuckled “I think some of you had difficulty in marching!”, the Beavers laughed loudly.

The Major glanced to Flash “Just ignore him sir.”

“Yes, thank you Major, I already was. I’ll be reporting his comments to Twilight later, and presumably Lionheart will do the same to Princess Celestia.”

Hussar continued chuckled “I tell you what Fields, next time we have a parade like this you must ask Sir Lionheart here if your chaps can do it in wheelchairs.”, another round of laughter.

North Sentry leaned in “That’s not fair Captain, the Major was striding out like a yearling colt.”

Porter spoke up “Yes he was. I thought you looked awfully smart sir.”

Foggy leaned in next to North “Of course, the Major didn’t have as much weight to carry then you sir, what with him having few medals.”

The Major taped a hoof on the bar “When there’s an attack here in the Everfree Kingdom, it’ll be fighting efficiency that counts, it’s no use just waving medals in the enemies’ face.”

Hussar chuckled again “Well, it’ll be a darn sight better then waving your pension books!”, the loudest round of laughs sounded.

The Major trudged up and yelled in the Captain’s face “My fellows in the Home Guard can wipe the floor with you any day. Their most experienced, better trained, and better lead.”

“Here, here!” Lucky Clover called out.

Hussar chuckled “That’s fighting talk. Isn’t it sirs.” He said looking to both Sir Lionheart and Flash. The Major continued “Thanks to his Highness Sir Flash here we’re not stifled by old fashioned ideas and Coronal Blimp mentality.”

Now Hussar fumed “By Celestia Fields, you will prove that or apologise! How can you call us old fashioned when the fashion of your uniforms are several centuries out of date!”

Rarity gasped and then growled, Moonlight wrapped a hoof around her.

The Major replied “I certainly won’t apologise. And we can’t prove it until we suffer an attack.”

Sir Lionheart and Flash glanced at each other, and Flash spoke up “We don’t have to wait for that Major, I’ve been making a Battle Course with a field crossbow firing range, and we can always think up some initiative tests.”

Hussar banged a hoof on the table “Darn good idea. I accept. How about you Fields? Are you going to accept or are you backing down?”

Cold Steel spoke up “We’re not backing down!”, and all the Everfree Guard Reservists agreed.

Foggy tapped Sir Lionheart shoulder “I’d like to see this Sir; may I be an umpire? I’ve had years of experience as a solider so I’ll be nonbiased.”

Moonlight called over “I’ll be an umpire as well,” he glanced at the Major “and the fact you’ve only bought me a Single Scotch will have no effect on my judgement what so ever.”, Rarity whispered something into his ear.

Sir Lionheart looked around “We’re going to need a third umpire.”

“I’ll do it.” Called a voice from the corner of the pub. Every-pony turned to see a slightly annoyed Soarin at a table with a partly surprised Rainbow Dash, the Second-in-command of the Wonderbolts crossed his hooves “Me and Rainbow have just about had enough of your arguing, the sooner we get it over with the better.”

Rainbow nodded “Yeah, and I’ll help.”

Flash turned to Dauntless and Chrome “We can’t take part because of our normal duties, but I’m sure Reverend Farthing will assist.”

Cold Steel banged his hoof on the table “That settles it, we accept, don’t we sir?”

“Of course, we accept.”

“Alright,” Hussar said, “I have only one condition to make, and that is every-pony of the respective companies who took part in the parade today takes part in the test.”

Sir Lionheart nodded “Sounds fair to me Fields.”

The Major nodded “I agree, very fair, don’t you Porter?”

“Yes, I do sir.” Then he muttered “Just means we’ll loses that’s all.”

As before with the Windmill Test, the members of the platoon all sat in front of the chalkboard, behind Sergeant Porter sat a wrapped-up flag.

They all talked among themselves about the usual day trouble.

The Major walked in and ordered “Pay attention every-pony.”

As every-pony finished their conversations and turned around to look at the chalkboard Cold Steel stood up and turned around to order “Pay attention, pay attention!”, after a few seconds of silence he turned to the Major and said, “They are now paying attention sir.”

The Major resisted rolling his eyes and shallowly nodded “Thank you Steel.”

After Steel sat down the Major began “Well, the details of the test against Captain Hussar’s Platoon of Lady Beaver’s Regiment are at hoof, and so we can now put you all in the picture. Now, I’m sure you all agree that you’ve heard enough of my voice.”

“Here, here.” Lucky muttered. The Major glared at him before clearing his throat and glanced to Porter “So I’m going to ask Sergeant Porter to brief you. Carry on Sergeant.”

“Thank you, sir, do you think I could borrow your stick?”

“Certainly not, it’s only for offices.”, Porter gave out a small breath and went to the board as the Major sat down.

“Right,” Porter began “now,” he cleared his throat and pointed to a circle point on a road on the far left of the board “Both platoons will start here, in their transports. Hussar, I believe his using an Auto-Magic Armoured truck, now before the start, both platoon commanders will be given a map reference and we have to get there as quickly as we can, alright?”

The Major added “Using maps, of course.”, Porter turned to him “Well I thought that was rather obvious sir.”

“Oh, nothing is obvious Sergeant. Carry on.”

Porter face-hoof ‘This is becoming a carry on.’, he took a deep breath and turned back to the board, and pointed up to a point on the right of the drawing with a letter B “Now after we reach the map reference we get escorted to point B, where we shall be all give the initiative tests, right?”

Caramel held his hoof up “Excuse me Sergeant, in what type will these tests be?”

“Yes,” Porter said “well, the simple fact is we don’t know, they’ll be given to us on the moment so we must think on our hooves, is that alright.”

“Yes Sergeant.”

Porter then moved his hoof down the drawing over a blue line “We then cross the river here,” then down the gap between the wooded area. Then we make are way across the battle course itself,” then finally to a drawing of a building “Finally, we reach the tower here, where outside we must fire five crossbow bolts each at a target. Then we rush into the tower, climb up onto the roof and we run the Regulation Colours, the flag, whichever is run signifies the winning platoon.”

Using his horn Porter unfurled the flag. An almost square flag, divided diagonally from the lower hoist-side corner to the upper fly-side corner. The upper triangle is white and the lower triangle is dark blue. In the centre, a purple tree. On the top left corner, the insignia of the Everfree Guard, Princess Twilight’s crown with the motto of ‘Everfree Forever’ in scrollwork.

Porter smiled “I must say Miss Rarity did an awfully good piece of work.”

The Major nodded “Yes, she also supplied the Beavers with their flag. And since our flag is a variant of the yet to be unveiled EK National Flag, if we win it’ll be the first time any flag of the Everfree Kingdom will be seen, as such if we do win Princess Twilight and Captain Sentry agree to make the day of the test the official Flag Day, it will tie the Home Guard to the direct history of the nation, so further motivation for us all.”

Vigil leaned back to Lucky and whispered, “The Major wants another excuse to go into the history books.”

The Major finished “Is that all clear?”

Most of the platoon responded positively, but Vigil stood up “Major? I foresee one small snag.”

“And what’s that?”

“While we’re rushing here and there and running the flag up the pole, Waddle will still be trying to get out of the Truck.”

Major Field smirked and sniffed “Come, come now Vigil, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, isn’t it?”

“It’s no exaggeration, it’s plain for all to see the old Reverend’s decrypted.” She quickly turned to Waddle “No offence meant Padre, you understand.”, Waddle nodded and said, “I admit I’m not as agile as I was and my back hooves are rather bad,” he held his head up “But I’m very determined.”

Lucky slapped Waddle on his back “Don’t you worry Padre we’ll help you.”, the rest of the platoon agreed.

The rest, expect for Vigil “He’s a milestone around our necks and you all know it, it’s folly to take him with us.”

“Yes,” the Major said quickly to stop her “But I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do about it now Vigil, Padre was on the parade, therefore he must be on the tactical test.”

“Must he? It’s my opinion if he’d one small spark of loyalty to the rest of us he’d break a leg!” she quickly turned again to Waddle “Nothing personal mind you, I’m speaking for the good of the platoon.”

Lucky spoke up offended “He can’t go around breaking his legs at his age!”, Zecora nodded glaring at Vigil.

The Major barked an order “Sit down Vigil and don’t be ridiculous.”

Zecora then stood up “Major?”

“Yes, Miss Zecora?” Field asked, wondering what the zebra would say and how the rhyme would go.

“In my tribe, when the oldest had trouble getting anywhere, the strongest of us would carry them on a chair.”

“How so?”

Porter spoke “You mean like the old sedan chairs?”, Zecora nodded, the Major tapped his hoof “That could work,” he looked to Time Turner “I don’t suppose you could make something in time Doctor Turner.”

The Doctor nodded “It should be easy enough, although I don’t want to be a carrier, I had a bad experience with one.”

“We’ll sort out who carries the Padre nearer the time, you don’t mind do you Padre?”

“Oh no, not at all.”, the Major smiled “This is what I like about the Platoon, we have very agile minds, making us able to surmount all our difficulties. We’re going to run rings around the Beaver mob and send them home with their tail between their legs. Are you all with me?”

Every-pony agreed wholeheartedly.

The Major nodded “Right, that’s all dismissed.”, every-pony got up and left the hall.

On the road, out in the countryside of the Kingdom the two vehicles stood. The Three T and the Beaver’s Auto-magic Truck.

Over on the roadside stood the Mail Coach with Cipher at the reigns and Riolu and Fluttershy sitting on the roof with him. Fluttershy, Rarity and Rainbow Dash represented the Council of Friendship, to bear witness to the results, just encase the Everfree Guard Flag, thus the first unveiling of the National Flag, did occur.

Captain Hussar and Major Fields stood with their seconds-in-command. Before them Foggy Dew and Moonlight. Rarity walked up behind them having finished, secretly, double checking the flag before giving them back to the commanders.

Once down Foggy Dew addressed the leaders “Alright gentle-colts, Lord Spectre here will read out the map reference once. You will them write it down and run back to your vehicles. Flight Lieutenant Soarin,” he said nodding to the Wonderbolt, holding a flag, Rainbow Dash next to him, “will give you the signal to start.”

The Major rolled his eyes at being talked to like a child, he thought a lot of this seemed obvious.

Moonlight took out the piece of paper from the envelope and read aloud “Six-hundred and Twenty-Nine. Five-hundred and seventy-one.”, quickly Hussar and the Major wrote the numbers down and rushed into the cabs of their transport. Porter helped the Major aboard with Time Turner ready with the clutch at biting point. Porter climbed in and shut the door.

Soarin waved the flag. The trucks raced off the start. Soarin lifted the flag, only to find it snapped in half. Rainbow Dash blinked and shouted “Hey! You nearly ran him over!”

“No matter Dashy,” Soarin said unfurling his wings “let’s get going.”, quickly Foggy and Rarity jumped into the Mail Coach. Fluttershy held onto Cipher as he slammed the reigns down and followed the troop transports flanked by the flying trio of Moonlight, Soarin and Rainbow. Foggy leaned out the window.

Up the road, the two trucks went neck and neck. A junction came up, the Three T turned left and the Auto-magic Truck turned right. Foggy looked at the other two umpires “Me and Lord Spectre with go with Captain Hussar, Flight Lieutenant, you and Miss Dash follow the Major.”

“Wilco!” Soarin called and the umpires split up.

Meanwhile Major Fields looked in the side mirror “Hussar turned to the right.” He leaned back to Vigil, who stuck her head out of the back door into the truck, holding the map and asked, “Are you sure we’re going the right way?”

“Of course, I am! If you think you can do any better sir you’re welcome the try. Just remember his Highness Field Marshal Armour was impressed by my map reading skills.”

The Major rolled his eyes and looked to Time Turner “Can’t we go any faster Doctor Turner?”

“I’ve got my hoof to the floor sir.”

Waddle appeared over Vigil’s shoulder “Beg pardon sir.”

“What is it Padre?”

“Do you think I might be excused?”

“Certainly not! We can’t stop, this is a race.”

Suddenly from behind them a moaning and shaking sounded, the Major looked back “What going on back there?”

Caramel appeared next to Waddle “It’s Cold Steel, he’s shaking like a leaf.”

“Stop him then!”, Caramel and Waddle went back inside, but the groaning and mumbling still went on. Zecora appeared over Vigil’s shoulder, Major Fields look up at here “What’s the matter with Steel.”

“Steel did not tell you? Then he is a fool.”

“What didn’t he tell me about?”

“Malaria is what he suffers.”, the Major’s eyes widened as the medical zebra continued “We need a way of making him stiffer.”

“Malaria?”

Lucky Clover called out, however his voice seemed shaky “He-e-e-e, say-y-y-y-s he-e-e-e’s been g-g-get-t-t-ting them-m-m-m f-f-f-f-or-r-r f-o-o-or-r-r-ty-y-y-y y-y-year-r-r, years!”

“Forty years!”

Vigil spoke up “I’ve seen it before, common occurrence. He needs quinine, tonic water, and plenty of blankets.”

Zecora looked inside her bag of medical supplies “I have a homemade brew of tonic wine. However, I don’t know its effects on an equine.”

“It doesn’t matter, give it to him, we need him to complete the tests.”, the zebra nodded unsurely and went back inside.

Vigil looked at the map “Another half mile and then we turn left.”

“Thank you, Vigil.” Major Fields said.

Then Porter spoke up as he looked out the window “Oh how sweet!”

“What was that?”

“We just passed a dear little cottage with roses growing around the door.”

“Never mind sightseeing, just keep your eyes on the road.”

“Turn left here!”

Time Turner swung the wheel around. He then looked at the mirror and wiped the condensation off “Where’s all this steam coming from?”

Porter asked, “You don’t think the engine’s overheating?”

“She can’t overheat Sergeant, I made sure the cooling system works as best as she could, I mean, we went a full throttle with the Wheel and she didn’t overheat.”

“That true.”

Waddle appeared at the door “Cold Steel is steaming sir.”

“Best thing for him.” Vigil said, “Let him sweat it out and give him plenty to drink.”

“There’s only Zecora’s tonic wine and he’s had half already.”

The Major spoke up “Then give him the other half, this is an emergency!”

“Next turning on the left coming up.”, Time Turner glanced back at her before turning left again.

After a while Porter spoke aloud again “How enchanting!”, Major Fields looked at him “What did you say?”

“Well, we just passed that dear little cottage with the roses again.”

The Major rolled his eyes “Oh for Celestia’s sake,” then he flinched “What?” he turned to Vigil “That means we’ve gone around in a circle!”

“Don’t shout at me sir, we all make mistakes.”

Lucky appeared above Vigil “Sir, the Beaver’s cart is coming up behind us!”, the Major looked at the mirror “There trying to get passed us!” he turned to Time Turner “Turner, I want you to weave the Truck about and bloke their path.”

“I’m sorry sir.” Time Turner said, “I cannot comply.”

“What?”

“A, it would be cheating. B, it would make every-pony sick, and given Cold Steel’s condition we can’t have that. And C, it could damage the Three T.”

Just as he finished the Auto-magic cart speed passed.

The Major glared at the Doctor “You might have cost us the battle Turner!”

“I wouldn’t worry Major,” called a voice from outside, they turned to look out the window.

Cipher called over from the slower moving Mail Coach “Auto-magic vehicles aren’t supposed to go that fast for that long, especially something that heavy.”

Indeed, after a few more miles the Three T passed the stalled and smoking Auto-magic truck. The Wonderbolts continued with the Everfree Guard Reserves while Cipher stopped the coach.

Foggy ran out the door almost as soon as it stopped and yelled at Captain Hussar “Throw a bucket of water on it!”

“We haven’t got a bucket of water you idiot.”

“And,” the sergeant added “It could pay havoc on the fire spell.”

“Spell,” Hussar said “Of course! A quick freeze spell!”

Foggy looked down the road “It better be quick Captain, Major Fields is getting away.”

On top of the Mail Coach, Moonlight narrowed his eyes and glanced to Cipher and Fluttershy “I must say, Mr Dew seems to be playing favourites.”

Rarity who watched from the window slyly smiled.

When the two military trucks meet next they passed each other at a cross junction, the Reservists went one way, the Beavers went the other.

The Major looked back “They’re going the other way, Doctor Turner, turn the truck around.

Hussar looked at his mirror “They’re going the other way, we’ll turn around.”

The two transports reversed and went in the other directions. The Major saw this “Now they’re going the other way? Turn around again.”

Hussar saw it also “Now they’re going the other way.” He pulled on the reins “We’ll turn around.”

Instead on going on the road they turned onto the green of the field.

“They’re up to something.” The Major muttered, then ordered “Follow them Turner.”

Hussar raised an eyebrow “They’re up to something. We’ll follow them.”

Naturally this resulted in the two transports literally going around in a circle.

The Mail Coach stopped and the umpires and their associates watched in bewilderment.

Soarin blinked “It’s Ring Around the Rosie!”

Cipher nodded “I was going to say Here We Go Around the Mulberry Bush.”

Moonlight tapped his hoof “Let’s get this nonsense sorted out.”

At the finish line of the road race, Sir Lionheart checked his pocket watch and frowned. He looked to the Reverend Farthing “Where in Equestria are they? They should have been here ages ago!”

The Auto-magic cart speed down the road.

The Three T raced up the road.

In the distance came a bridge over a river. Which both vehicles approached, from opposite directions. They braked hard.

Hussar leaned out the driver window “Back up at once! You hear? Back up at once!”

The Major shouted back “Don’t tell me to back up! You back up!”

Hussar laughed “We’ll soon see about that!” He charged his horn and the Armoured Cart charged forward into the Three T.

Time Turner put the throat down. The Major turn back to the lorry “Every-pony in the back get out and push!”

Hussar banged the side of the truck and barked “Every-pony in the back, get out and push!”

The Mail Coach and the Wonderbolts arrived to survey the scene. Foggy got out, climbed onto the bridge sides and scuttled across to the Reservists side, he leaned onto the cab of the Three T and shouted, “What’s going on here!”

Porter snapped at him “Will you please clear off?” and push him. Foggy wailed and flew into the river.

Time Turner changed down and put his hoof petal to the metal. The V8 roared like a monster and the Armoured Cart got pushed back.

Hussar backed off and let them pass, but grumbling shouted “You might win the race battle Fields, but this war isn’t over!”

Moonlight sighed “And now it’s the initiative tests.” He supervised the Beavers but turned to where Foggy Dew supervised the Reservists, “Carry on Mr Dew.” He called.

Foggy nodded and looked at his note.

The Major looked back “Where’s Steel?”

Porter said, “There bringing him as fast as they can.”

Indeed, the stronger of the platoon carried Steel on the sedan chair meant for Waddle, the elderly Padre trotted beside them.

Steel stood up and slurred said, “Wait here.” And unsteadily he lumbered to the Major “I’m alright Major, my Malaria’s complete subsidised. One bottle of Miss Zecora’s wine, and I’m a new stallion!” He started to lean on the Major.

Foggy blew his whistle “Now pay attention, this is first initiative test.”

Steel started to mumble loudly.

Foggy blew his whistle again “Pay attention!”, the other shushed Steel as Foggy continued “Now, over there,” he pointed with his hoof “Mr Cipher has hold of twenty-four balloons.”

The Changeling looked rather silly holding the air-filled balloon, which flew about in the small breeze, with his magic.

Foggy continued “Now when I say go, he will release all twenty-four balloons, you will ready your spears and burst every one of those balloons before moving on to your next objective.” They all nodded “Right. Go!”

Cipher stood his magic and quickly flew out of the way.

The platoon rushed to the colour balls of rubber with their spears while Steel stumbled about. However, when they thrust their spears at them the balloons didn’t burst, they squashed and stretched before flying away. Vigil jumped on the one nearest her.

Lucky, who party on Lilac’s persuasion started smoking pipes, with special magical filters of course, felt the blow end of the one he’d been smoking in the Three T “Hang on Major, I got it.” He pressed the hot pipe into a balloon and burst it, then another, and another.

Zecora used a safety pin from her bag and popped one, then gave another to Waddle who popped another and called over about the idea “You have to open it of course.”

“There’s a couple!” Steel called as he charged at one balloon sitting on a broken off branch, he thrusted his spear, into the branch, pulled back and fell over. Recovering he pulled the spear out and jammed it into the stuck balloon, which did indeed burst.

Porter looked about the field “I can’t see any more sir.”

“Right,” the Major called as he turned to the Platoon “Onto the next test.”

“No wait!” Foggy called and pointed with his hoof “What about that one!”

A blue balloon carried by the breeze flew away.

Moonlight called over “Hurry up Major, Hussar’s lot have finished.”

Foggy smiled “He’s going to win! I knew he would.” He laughed and tapped the Major’s arm “And you’re leaving until you got that one.”

Porter’s horn spark “Wind speed, five miles an hour.”

Steel shouted, “I’ll get it sir.”

“I’ll handle this sir.” Porter said charging his horn, from his tunic he pulled out a crossbow pistol. Closed one eye and pointed the crossbow a little off the balloon, the trigger snapped back, the bow slacked, the arrowed sailed, the balloon burst.

The Major smiled “Well done Porter, you more than deserved that Champion Shot Medal.”

“Thank you, sir.” And the platoon marched onward. Foggy blinked and then follow protesting “Wait a minute, you were meant to do that with your spears.”

Vigil walked up beside him “Another word out of you and I’ll do you with my spear.” She then trudged along. Foggy grumbled as he ran to catch up. Steel stumbled about happily at the back saying, “I’m enjoying this.”

Meanwhile Waddle sat in the sedan chair. The four ponies put the arms at their shoulder and “Three, two, one, lift.”, and the arms of the chair broke away, leaving Waddle going nowhere.

The platoon reconvened at the next test. A tank full of feathers next to a hillock. Foggy blew his whistle “Now pay attention. As you can see, this tank is full of feathers, now you’ve got to take these feathers and put them in those barrels over there.” He said pointed to three barrels sitting halfway up the mound. “Get ready.” Whistle blew.

Every-pony quickly took as many feathers as they could carry, easier for some of the Unicorns with their magic but still feather flew everywhere. Ponies started sneezing.

The Major reached the barrel as Caramel dumped his first load into it, “This is no good.” He said “It’ll take us forever. I’ve got it.” He looked back to the Platoon “Fill your caps and stuff feather down your tunics!”

“Major?” Caramel asked.

“No right now Caramel.” And he walked down as Waddle came up “Major? Do you think you can spare me for a moment?”

“Certainly not.” He walked away and reached the tank as Vigil stuffed her tunic “You’ve had the darn silly ideas in your time sir, but by Luna this the darn silliest!”

“Let’s have none of that Vigil. That’s no way to talk to an officer.”

Time Turner appeared beside him “Major?”

“What is it Doctor?”, Time Turner sneezed, the Major decided to ignore him.

After a few more runs, both Caramel and Time Turner stopped the Major midway while no of them carried feather, “Major?” Caramel asked, “The Doc and I had the same idea, why don’t we take the barrels over to the tank, fill them up with feathers and then moved them back into place.”

The Major blinked “Excellent thing you two.” He turned to the Platoon “Bring the barrels over the tank!”

Foggy seeing this gulped and ran to Moonlight and Soarin “How’s Hussar doing?”

Moonlight shook his head “There still carrying the feathers by hoof.”, Soarin failed to contain his smirk “The Major’s lot will win by miles at this rate.”

Foggy fumed “I’m not going back to Huntersfield to say the Beavers lost, Helmet Listener will never let me here the end of it!”, he ran off. The two other umpires looked at each other and Moonlight muttered “I think we’ll have a word with Sir Lionheart after this is over.”, Soarin nodded.

Down at the river two large boats and one small row boat sat waiting, another boat sat on the opposite bank.

Foggy ran up to one boat and chuckled as he pulled the plug from it and threw it into the water.

Major Fields and the Reservist came marching up, and started to fill the other boat.

Foggy’s eye widened “You can’t get in that boat!”

“Why not?”

“It’s the wrong one.” He pointed to the one without the plug “That’s your boat there.”

“I can go into any boat I like.”

“I insist you get in the other boat.”

Porter spoke up “You really are being the most terrible bore this morning.”

“Please Major, please get in the other boat.”

The Major glanced to Porter “I think he’s gone off his head.”, Porter nodded as they helped Waddle into the boat.

Moonlight and Soarin came flying in as the Platoon readied to row. The Major addressed them “Now I want his boat to skim across the water.”

“That’s going to be a difficult Major,” Vigil said, “You haven’t untied it yet.”

“That’s enough Vigil. Cast off!” and the bow reversed and they slowly turned.

Captain Hussar and the Beavers came running up “Come along then into the boat.”

“No wait sir!” Foggy called running up to him “I pulled the plug out.”

“You did what?” Hussar exclaimed “Why in Equestria would you do that?”

“I did it for you sir.” He explained about his plan. Hussar grumbled “Mr Dew, not only have you failed as an umpire, but you’ve further Field’s advantage.”

“I’ll do anything to fix it sir.”

“Good,” Hussar turned and pointed to the other boat and then to the dinghy row boat. Foggy nodded and ran to it.

Moonlight and Soarin glanced at each other again and the Wonderbolt whispered “I think we can add Princess Twilight and General Sentry to the list.”, Moonlight nodded.

Hussar looked about “Sergeant?”

“Yes sir?” the NCO said appearing.

“Where have you been?”

“I took the plug out of that rowboat to see if it would fit.” He reached down and frowned “I’m afraid it doesn’t sir.”

Foggy wailed “Celestia! I’m sinking!”

After the mess of the boats got sorted out and Foggy dried off again, he joined the soldiers on the Battle Course.

In this part of the challenge the teams needed to, as quickly as they dared, march across an open field as the soldiers, in the case the pioneers building the course, threw flash grenades to create mock explosions.

The Major glanced back “Get rid of that pipe Clover.”

Lucky stopped and rolled his eyes “Luna, a half an hour ago you were glad I had it.” He took the pipe from his mouth and threw it away, Caramel glanced at him and Lucky shook his head “It’s alright, that was a pretty old pipe when I bought it.”

The pipe meanwhile landed in the box of flash grenades next to Foggy Dew and the embers split.

BOOM!

Foggy stumbled out disorientated and blackened, then fainted.

Outside the tower the Reservists laid down and fired their crossbows, reloading used a crank called a cranequin.

Steel cranked his back.

Porter looked about “No sign of Hussar sir.”

Major Fields smiled “Looks as if we’ve one.” He glanced at Steel fumbling his crossbow bolt, then pointed his crossbow at the target and shook violently. The Major blinked “Why are you shaking Steel? Not got another attack of Malaria, have you?”

“No sir, I always fire like this, that’s why I prefer the spear.”

Lucky put his bow down “Hurry up Steel we’ve all finished.”

As Steel readied his shot the Major looked to Porter “Give me the flag Porter.”

“Flag? What flag sir?”

“The Platoon Flag of course.”

“You didn’t say anything about bringing the flag.”

“I distinctly remember telling you to bring the flag.”

In front of them, Vigil unfurled her wings “I have it sir.” She said and pulled it out from under said wing. The Major took it “Well done Vigil.”

Steel fired his bow and saluted “I’ve finished sir.”

The Major smiled and ran to Sir Lionheart, he saluted “Finished firing sir.”, Sir Lionheart saluted back “Off you go then Major.”

“Yes sir,” he turned to the Platoon “Padre, you and Miss Zecora and Sections Two and Three stay put, Porter, Section One follow me.”, Section One, of Cold Steel, Lucky Clover, Caramel, Vigil and Time Turner ran to the tower and up the stair.

At the top, the Major gave the flag to Caramel, the first one up after him “Right Caramel, you put the flag out.”

“Yes sir.” The Yellow stallion knelt to the find the ends of the rope. But couldn’t find one end.

After the others assembled at the top, the Major told Caramel to find the end and pulled hard on the rope, “Here’s the end.” He said showing it to him, Caramel nodded “Yes Major, but,” he pointed to the pully on the end of the pole “you’ve pulled the rope from the pully.”

“Ah.”

Vigil face-hoofed “Now how are we going to fly the flag?”, Lucky spoke up “We can’t unless we can pull the pole in.”

Steel climbed up onto the balcony “Don’t worry I’ll fix it!”, the other tried to stop him, but Steel fell onto the pole and shimmed up it.

Porter shouted, “The stallion’s a fool!”, the Major nodded “But a dashed brave one.”

Steel reached the end and the pole “What should I do now?”

The Major rolled his eyes “Thread the rope through the pully.”

“Yes, but what rope?”

“The rope the flag’s attached to.”

“Where is it?”

Caramel spoke up “It’s here.” He said showing it in his hoof. The Major flinched “What’s it doing here?”

“You pulled it out the end sir, and Steel didn’t grab it when he started up the pole.”

Steel called back “Major! Throw it to me!”, suddenly the pole started swaying about.

The Major shouted down “Zecora! Get a blanket!”

“I don’t need a blanket,” Steel called “I’m not cold.”

“It’s for if you fall!” The Major shouted as he looped the rope.

“I won’t be cold if I fall.”

“No,” Lucky shouted, “but will be if you hit the ground.”

Underneath them the rest of the platoon, Cipher and Fluttershy all moved the blanket about judging which way the pole went.

Soarin and Rainbow watch them and the cyan mare tilted her head “They do know we could catch him?”, Soarin shrugged “Heat of the moment decision I guess.”

“Right!” Major Fields called as he readied the rope “Here it comes!” He threw. Steel reached. And missed. The pole swung harder.

Time Turner took the rope “Here sir, let me have a try.” He looped it and called over “Try this Steel!” he flung it hard. Steel caught it. The pole swayed.

“Major! I think that wine’s going to my head, everything’s going sideways!”

“Thread the rope through the pully and get back here as fast as you can!”

“Right sir, right sir.” Steel inched to the pully, shut one eyes and stuck his tongue out “It’s like the camel of the eye of a needle!”

“Get back here quickly!”

Down below at the door Captain Hussar and a group of the Beavers reached it. The captain looked up “Come on hurry up, we can still win this!”

“I’ve done it!” Steel called as he put the rope end in his teeth and started shuffling back. When he reached the balcony, and gave the rope end to Caramel “Nearly had my top set out then.” He laughed. He put his legs over the pole, tried to set hoof on the balcony, and almost slipped off. The others caught him and pulled him up. He breathed heavily with relief “You saved me, I glad I can count on you.”

“Celestia’s sake Steel,” the Major said, “never do something like that again.”

“Understood sir, I avoid that if I can.” Then he started shaking “Major! It’s started again!”

“Another attack!” the Major barked, “Lay him down quickly.”

As they did so. Hussar ran out the door “Come on boys get the flag out.”

Vigil turned to them “Major! Look!”, Major Fields turned just as the Hussars pulled the flag up the pole, he jumped up into Hussar’s face “What in Celestia’s name is going on here?”

“Bad luck Major.” Hussar chuckled “You’ve lost.”

“We were here first!”

“Yes, but you didn’t get your flag out, it’s the flag that counts.”

On the ground Sir Lionheart looked through his binoculars “White and dark blue triangles, purple tree in the middle, Princess Twilight’s crown in insignia.” He turned to the umpires and associates as well as the remains of the teams “The Everfree flag, the Major’s won.”

Behind Moonlight, Rarity smirked with her head held high, Fluttershy glanced at her, bit her lip and hid in her mane.

Up at the top, the Major banged his hoof on the floor “I shall make a full protest about this! We were here first, and if not for Steel’s attack of Malaria our flag would be flying!”

“Hold on sir!” Vigil said “Look! It is our flag that’s flying!”

They all turned to look, Hussar blinked exclaimed his question of “What?” and turned to his sergeant “You are a blithering idiot. You’ve flown their flag!”

“But sir,” the sergeant “it was the flag you gave me!”

The Home Guard members laughed. Hussar gritted his teeth “Fields, what skulduggery is this?”

“It means you’ve lost Captain, it’s the flag that counts.”

“I’ll be speaking with Sir Lionheart about this. Something is darn fishy.” He turned to the other members of the Beavers and they went to the stairs.

After the Reservists finished laughed the Major glanced down at Steel, who shook, but smiled, and noticed a flag beside him “Wait a minute.” He knelt and unfurled it, he blinked and turned to the other fuming “That’s our flag.” And then he pointed to the one flying “And that’s our flag! How’s that possible?”

“Well,” Porter said looking down “It was Miss Rarity who supplied them.”

Vigil nodded “You remember what Hussar said about our uniforms, the ones she made? ‘Several centuries out of date’, and her reaction?”

The Major scowled “That’s cheating!”

Time Turner shook his head “It can’t be since she didn’t take part in the challenge and no-pony knew about it.”

The Major shook his head “I think you know me well enough to know I don’t approve of this sort of thing, I’m definitely going to tell Sir Lionheart, Captain Sentry and Princess Twilight, in private of course.” He sniffed “But all the same I’m dashed glad we won, and now we few have established the EK’s Flag Day.”

They all cheered from the top, and met the cheers from the rest of the Platoon below.

Author's Note

This was one of my favourite episode of Dad's Army, Battle of the Giants

I'm happier with this being the longest chapter than Necropolis Now as this chapter feels more cohereant.

The Everfree Flag in my mind is as it was was discribed, but without the Everfree Guard insignia. As for the unusual size proporations, think of the Flag of Belguim.

Anyway, I've abandoned a Fanfiction project as I couldn't get it really work, thus I can devote more time to this, but, I think progress will still be slow.

Until next time friends.

The Arcane Archchancellor Affair

“Flash,” Twilight said firmly “I am going whether you like it or not.”

“What about the Kingdom?”

“The town councils can run it while I’m gone. And Spike, Starlight and Reverend Farthing can take care of the castle.”

“The triplets?”

“I cast a special protection spell around them.”

“Can’t you wait until a magical convention comes to Ponyville?”

“The last time that happened Discord decided to interrupt it when me and Cadance wanted some time as sisters.”

“But Hogwash’s?” Flash argued “Surely Celestia’s School would be better to hold the place.”

“Yes, but they offered cheaper rent for their grounds.”

Spike and Starlight watched to two go back and forth. The former Student of Friendship leaned down at Spike “What’s Hogwash’s?”

Spike shrugged “It’s the oldest Magic School in Equestria, goes back to the Unicorn Kingdom I here.” He paused clutched his stomach and belched. A scroll appeared in the green fire, he grabbed it and looked up to the still arguing couple “Twilight! Princess Celestia’s sent a letter.”

The pair stopped as turned to the dragon who filed through the multiple sheets “It’s been a while since she sent one this long.”

Twilight blinked “Read it out then.”

Spike cleared his throat “To Twilight. I’ve been informed about the up and coming magical convention at Hogwash’s Arcane Academy and knowing you I know you’ll be attending.”

Twilight’s eyes rolled and Flash smirked with a stifled laugh.

“However,” Spike continued “I have a concern for you to look out for.”

Now the Royal Couple turned equally confused.

“The sudden death of Archchancellor Riddle Culler has caused a stir within the Arcane Academy, as such at the time of the Magical Convention they will by election for the next, and three-hundred and fifth Archchancellor.”

Flash narrowed his eyes “What does it matter to us?”

“Hogwash’s is second only to my school in quality of teaching, however it’s standards in the last few hundred years have decreased with both its strict adherence to the old view of magic, one Star Swirl a thousand years ago proved to be incorrect and its draconian methods of advancement, the “Dead Pony’s Pointy Horseshoes.”, I fear it might have returned, a number of powerful wizards have been found dead with their staffs missing.”

Twilight gasped. The three looked at her, Flash raised an eyebrow “Dead Pony’s Pointy Horseshoes?”

The Princess nodded and bit her lip “How can I explain this?”

No-pony quite knows where the, tradition, the definition of which is stretched to the moon and back, of “Dead Pony’s Pointy Horseshoes” originated from. But the more traditional wizards understand this, behind every wizard of the Sixth and highest rank is at least one fifth rank wizard wishing to take his place.

Flash raised an eyebrow “You mean wizards are killing off their superiors to go up the ranks?”, Twilight nodded “In Hogwash’s there’s no such thing as retirement, a place is opened either by a promotion to a higher rank, or death, and in the case of the Sixth rank, well…”

“Yes,” Flash said, “I think we get the picture.”

Spike gulped and returned to the letter “Riddle Culler managed to stop the tradition, but I fear if they wrong pony is elected then Hogwash's is doomed to collapse.”

Flash huffed “Good, we can do without their nonsense.”

Spike eyes darted across the page “Princess Celestia thinks not.” He cleared his throat again “Hogwash's used to be a decent competitor in magical scholarship and for a time my school appeared the upstart, even with Star Swirl and Clover the Clever acting as the first two Principals. Competition is good for progress, if done healthily, and I don’t wish my school to become stuck as the only magic school if it means it won’t progress.”

Twilight nodded “I get that, me and Moondancer had a friendly rivalry as fillies.”

Flash gave a big sigh “I see I’m not going to win this.” He muttered, then he held the bridge of his nose and took a breath before recovering “Alright, I’ll go. Not for the magic though Twilight, I don’t want to be bored by it.”

She huffed before he closed the gapped and put a hoof to her check “I’m going firstly because you and the triplets are the things I treasure most, as your husband, the father of these three,” he tapped her gentle bump “and your personal guard, I don’t want any of you harmed.”

Twilight smiled “I know.”

“I’m also going to make sure this “Dead Pony’s Horseshoes” thing doesn’t happen. That’s murder.”, Twilight nodded more determinedly. She then looked to Spike “How are these elections done?”

“Well,” Spike said frowning “it says here it’s less of an election, since Hogwash Wizards tend to avoid politics in preference of study or food. And more of an appointment by supernatural means.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow “Supernatural means?”

“Says here they called it “Selected by the Gods”, guess it predates the Silver Enlightenment.”

Flash glanced at the doors and went to them. Opening them he found Reverend Farthing with a glass to his ear. The young vicar looked up at the Prince, Flash sternly glared down at him “Care to explain about this eavesdropping Padre?”

Farthing gulped “I’m sorry sir, it’s just I had a cousin who was a drop out of Hogwash’s and I couldn't help over here. I must say from what I heard it sounds like they need some moral education.” He narrowed his eyes at Spike “Which gods are we talking about?”

The little dragon shrugged “It doesn’t say.”

Farthing hummed “I’m concerned because HAA was founded in the days of the Unicorn Kingdom, when the Unicorn abandoned the Good Lord and started focusing on rituals and magic, against the Lord’s wishes and words of the Prophets.”

Flash held up his hoof “Yes Padre, I’ve had similar thoughts and concerns.”

Spike continued “Princess Celestia says the tradition can stay, since it’s been around as she puts it “Since Time Immoral”, basically it done because as far as people can remember it’s always been done.”

Starlight looked over Spike’s shoulder to read “How it’s done is what I’d like to know.”

Spike pulled out another sheet of parchment. “Candidacy is open to any-pony from Wizardry levels one to six. The candidate must then make a prayer to their patron God or Gods, Goddess or Goddess, where they outline their intentions as Archchancellor, the stronger their conviction and more beneficial their promises the more likely they can gain a two-thirds majority of the “Gods”, election periods have been known to last as little as a few hours to days, weeks even months, the longest on record has been three years.”

Flash snorted “I’m not stay a week there, let alone three years.”

Twilight shook her head “That’s just an extreme case Flash.” She turned back to Spike “So do we have any information on the candidates?”

The dragon pulled out another sheet “Yes, two main contenders and one, I’m not sure if this is a joke candidate or not.”

“Joke candidate?”

“Professor Rinse Wind,” he gave over the image of an Earth Pony male, brown coat and mane with short beard, all a bit rough, dressed in red, complete with pointy hat.

Twilight raised an eyebrow “An Earth Pony in a magic school?”

Flash nodded too “And that’s an unusual name for an Earth Pony.”

Spike found another sheet “I’ve never known Princess Celestia send this much before. Ah, here we are, it’s common for applications to be posted before birth. Rinse Wind had a Unicorn father and a Pegasus mother.”

Starlight frowned “And he was born an Earth Pony?”

Spike shrugged “More confusing is apparently is his mother disappeared before he was born.”

“Before?”

“No one’s quite worked that out. He didn’t even get his cutie mark until he was an adult.”

Starlight took an interest “Really? How’d that happen?”

“Well, say here he failed to get to even the first level, his position is more honorary but still counts. He then saved the school, by accident apparently and he has a knack for it, he once saved it with nothing but a sock filled with half a brick. And all he wants is a quiet life where nothing happens to him.”

“And yet,” Twilight said, “he’s applying for Archchancellor?”

“I did say it seems more like a joke. Cause he openly says he doesn’t want the position, he’s just applying simple because he knows fate would have his name put down somehow, and he put on his applications' additional comments and in his open prayer to all the Gods if he is chosen he would resign immediately, and resigning the high position of Archchancellor means he would be a traitor to Wizards and expelled.”

Flash paused “Actually that sounds like his best option. What about the other two?”

“Well, there’s Bright Will, a Unicorn of the Sixth Level, great-great-nephew of former Archchancellor Wildwind, deputy head of the Sixth Order of the school, The Last Order.”

Twilight walked up “That sound important.”

“Not really, it’s just a drinks club founder hundreds of years ago.”

Twilight rolled her eyes “And the other?”

“The Dean of Hogwash’s Arcane Academy. Abacus Cinch.”

Twilight’s eyes widened and his pupils turned to pinpricks “Did you just say Abacus Cinch?”

“Yeah? Problem?”

“Maybe.” She started explaining.

In the human world Sunset and her friends faced off against the rival, and elite school of Crystal Preps, the top student being Twilight’s human version, who apparently suffered from astigmatism. The then Principle, Abacus Cinch blackmailed Human Twilight into hording magic stolen from Sunset and Co during the Friendship Games, a side effect of this included random release of wild magic from Equestria, allowing her dog, Spike’s alter ego, the ability to talk. And eventually resulted in Human Twilight becoming corrupted and transformed into Midnight Sparkle.

“Imagine me turning in something like Nightmare Moon.” She glanced at Starlight, after hearing what happened between the Royal Sisters and Starlight’s anxiety nightmare where she dreamed up the evil alter ego of Princess Celestia, Daybreaker, well, knowing Starlight’s active imagination when it comes to both magic and said nightmare she would have a pretty good idea of what Princess Midnight Sparkle might look like.

Then Flash placed his hoof on Twilight’s shoulder “If something like that’s possible, I’m not letting Cinch near you or the triplets.”, she smiled and kissed him on the cheek. She then turned to Spike “Tell Princess Celestia we’ll be going, but Spike, I want you to stay and look after the Castle, and tell the girls what’s happening.”

“Got it Twilight.”

Flash took her hoof “Come on, we’d better pack.” She nodded and followed him out the door.

Starlight glanced at Spike “They still in the honeymoon phase?”

Spike shrugged “I’d rather not think about it.” He glanced to Farthing “How’s that special project of Twilight’s coming on Reverend?”

“I’ve work out a few possible sites, but as to the design I need inspiration.”

“How about I get that book on architecture?”, the Reverend nodded “That might help, thank you.”

On the grounds of the Academy Flash kept up with Twilight, concerned over her speed. She went from stall to stall looking at the books, ornaments and materials on sale.

He just had to fall in love, and marry, and mate, a magics nerd.

A bell rang out from a door. Every-pony turned.

The doors opened and procession of Ponies in red with pointed hats, no doubt staff and students of the school began walking out.

First a middle-aged Unicorn mare, her coat a light opal grey and her mane a spectrum of purples, a thin pair of half rimmed glasses on her nose. Beside her a young Unicorn stallion, only just older than a teenage colt. His coat a murky green topped by a black mane and circle rimmed glasses.

Behind them came a big coffin carried by Unicorns of various ages. The most out of place being the front right pallbearer. Just as young as the stallion at the front, a cream coat with brown eyes and a mane and tail of greyish brown, a dark and dull blue, and a bright, almost pinkish purple. Instead of the pointed hat he wore a red fedora, on his feet, white horseshoes.

The glasses stallion turned to the mare at the front “Shame about Culler Dean.”

“Well,” Dean Cinch said “we all knew it would come, after Emerald Wildwind kicked the bucket, well, he just didn’t take it lightly. You know the old saying Ponders, when a Wizard is tired of looking for broken glass in his diner, he’s tired of life.”

The identified Wizard Ponders looked at the Dean who shrugged “Merely speculating obviously.”

The party reached the gates to the rest of the world. A hearse with a group of Bat Ponies waited outside.

The Dean stopped and turned to the gathered wizard “Friends, Colleagues, Students, ladies and gentle-colts. Today we say our goodbyes to the three-hundred and fourth Archchancellor of are fine institution, Riddle Culler the Brown, not the stallion we were expecting, but a fine one and worthy of the title, even if he never wore the hat of office.”

A bit of a commotion started from the back and worked its way to the front. The commotion popped out beside the young stallion in the fedora, in the form of a brown and browner Earth Pony, dressed in second, possibly third-hoof robes “Sorry I’m late.”

The Dean rolled her eyes “You weren’t invited Professor Rinse Wind. I’d like a word with you in my office later. Now go.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Rinse Wind said as he backed up, he bumped into and knocked over the fedora wearing stallion “Oh, sorry Mr Bright Will.”

A clockwork mechanism started up. A spike shot out from the coffin, right where Bright Will’s head would have been.

All the wizards stared.

Flash and Twilight quickly ran up. Flash yelled out “Alright, who was responsible for that?”

Twilight glanced at Abacus Cinch before returning to Bright Will.

The Dean gulped, her eyes shifted about, every-pony focused on her rival. She took her moment and teleported away.

Twilight and Bright Will looked up as the magical discharge. The downed Unicorn glanced up at Flash “I think that answers your question your Highness.” He brushed himself off and looked at the spike “Clever though, I’ll give Abacus points for stealth. I bet she was going to make a long speech about old Culler to hide the ticking. Never thought I’d be a victim of Dead Pony’s Pointy Horseshoes.”

Flash tilted his head “You seem to be taking the attempted murder quite easily.”

“Par for the course here before Riddle came.”

“It’s still a crime! She needs to be to justice.”

“I agree, but she can’t leave the school, she’s tied to the position on Dean, indeed all members of the Faculty can’t leave unless the Archchancellor permits it, a way of keeping the school running.”

Another bunch of voice started up and more of the wizards parted. This time for an Earth Pony mare, very grey, the only colour being her grey violet eyes and the three purple marble balls of her cutie mark. She quickly hugged Bright Will. The unicorn matched the embrace and shushed her “It’s alright Marble, I’m okay.”

“Marble?” Twilight asked, “What are you doing here?”

Pinkie’s younger twin blushed with a smiled and nodded to Bright Will. Twilight nodded “Oh I see, Mr Wildwind here is your Chosen.”

She nodded “Mm-hmmm.”, Bright Will leaned his head on hers “And I thank the Lord she came. I was just as saddened at the death of my distant cousin Emerald as Culler was.” He blinked “Speaking of will need to give his body over to the Necropolitans.” He charged his magic and sliced the spike off and retook his place within the pallbearers. A few more steps forward and they slide the coffin onto the backs of the Bat Ponies before they slid it into the hearse and pulled it away, flying in fact.

Bright Will turned to the Flash and Twilight “Right then, let’s go talk with the Dean.”

As he walked through the Dean’s Office Bright Will thought about old Riddle Culler. And smirked remembering the fuse and confusion which went through the halls the first few months after his arrival. His full title, Riddle Culler the Brown referred to the Order of Wizardry he belonged to, for him the Venerable Council of Seers, not wearing brown and good relations with birds.

When the Faculty called for Riddle they expected he would last for just long enough for the Wizards of the Hogwash’s Arcane Academy to take a break from all the changes in Archchancellors resulting from the tradition of “Dead Pony’s Pointy Horseshoes.” They assumed Riddle matched the stereotypical idea of a Brown Wizard, a stallion very much like Fluttershy. They got some-pony who loved hunting, talked at a consistent level of shouting, wore trotting suits and carried about as much respect for mother nature as he does for the members of the Faculty, not a lot. At least for the wizards at HAA the tradition has come to a complete stop with him as Archchancellor, he finally put a halt to the traditional method of promotion simply by being indestructible. This is related to his habit of springing up behind would-be assassins, preferably with a crossbow, shouting at them and banging their heads repeatedly into doors.

Bright however knew one-day Riddle Culler would die. And given his depression after his dear, female friend’s death, well, some thought it would be soon, they got proven right. This is the main reason why he chose to wear white horseshoes with the red of his uniform attire. If Bright ever became an important wizard in Hogwash’s, a head of an Order or a Faculty Member, or even Archchancellor for example, and the tradition returned it would be unlikely Bright would be kill since no self-respecting ambitious wizard wishing to reach the top position would ever wearing such awful looking shoes, they wouldn’t wish to be seen dead in them. He even wore spats on his hind pair.

He opened the office and looked about. A wooden office filled with papers ledgers and various quills.

“No-pony in.” He pulled out a deceive “Strange, my tracer says Abacus is here.” He walked over to the massive mirror on the wall “Unless.”

Twilight appeared at his side “Mirror Flower and Water Moon’s Reflected Matrix?”

“Abacus has been studying that spell for years, that and Malign Green’s Wonderful Garden.”

The Princess’s eyes widened “That spell is…”

“Extremely hard to preform by regular means. But we use these.” His charge his horn and a staff appeared in his magic. “We store magic, either are own or synthesised wild magic into these to act as magical batteries.”

Twilight looked at the staff. The wood a reddish-brown, but with cravings slightly lighter, trying to work out what they were made her eyes hurt, additionally the seemed to change or disappear when she looked at them directly. She turned away and looked at the mirror then she glanced between the two items “Mr Wildwind?”

“Yes?”

“Look at the frame of the mirror.”, Bright then glance between his staff and the frame as well “So that’s where the staffs went. Abacus must be using them to power her spell.”

Flash tapped the pair on their shoulder “Would you please explain what this spell is?”, Marble and Rinse Wind nodded, Flash turned to Rinse Wind “What are you doing here Professor?”

“Well the Dean did ask me to see her.”

Bright Will smiled and shook his head “This spell is a most likely a combination of firstly, the Reflective Matrix, a spell that creates an alternative world in a mirror which one can observe, and thus determine a possible route to take. It’s quite common here at Hogwash’s. The other spell in this equation is Malign Green’s Wonderful Garden. Malign Green was a great wizard, pre-Star Swirl, who created the Garden as a small timeless, private self-locking universe he could do a bit of thinking while avoiding the cares of the world. One day he closed the entrance after him.”

Flash tapped his hoof on his chin “So, Cinch has created a pocket universe which she can control, presumably to plan her moves to become Archchancellor?”

Bright Will nodded, and then turned to Rinse Wind and grinned “But one can’t predict Professor Rinse Wind. It’s said even uncertainty is uncertain about you Professor, and most ponies aren’t certain about that either.”

Flash trudged up to the mirror “Let’s stop the idle chat, Cinch is hiding in there, how do we get her out?”

Bright Will worked over and picked up a small crystal with his magic. He flung it at the mirror and it disappeared inside. He approached it “Seems she forgot to lock the door.”

Flash hummed “Or she’s expecting company, she’s got control of that world remember?”

“Exactly, we’ll have to exceedingly careful.”

“We?” Flash said.

“You need a wizard to fight a wizard.”, Twilight walked up “Or a more powerful magic user.”, Flash turned to her “No, Twilight, I’m going to lose you. You’ve got a duty to Equestria in your way, as a Royal Knight this is part of mine.” He hugged her tightly “Take care of the triplets. I love you.” His kissed her on the forehead and let go. He turned to Bright Will.

Marble kissed the Wildwind on his cheek. The wizard turned to the Royal Knight, nodding together they jumped in.

Twilight turned to Rinse Wind “Will they be alright?”, he shrugged “You talking to the wrong wizard.” He turned to the door “I’d better go tell Ponders and every-pony. Bet they’ll be a lot of hopeful praying when they learn the two top candidates for Archchancellor are currently indisposed.” The door shut after him.

Twilight sighed and turned to Marble “So, how did you meet Mr Wildwind.”, Pinkie’s younger twin smiled.

In a dark backstreet, a rat scurried over a discarded bone and looked for rotten fruit and straw. A bell tolled the night away. The world looked black, rotten and gothic, you could almost hear the eerie chords of organ music. The rat scurried away. A flash of light burst in the backstreet.

Bright Will stumbled and groaned “What an unpleasant journey!” he then looking about “What an unpleasant place.” He then noticed something else “Sentry?” He walked to the end of the street and called again “Sentry? Your Highness?”

A loud, and sinister, feminine laughter echoed down the streets. Slowly Bright walked forward. As he entered a courtyard with high raised brink buildings, like a bleak workhouse more laughter, from many ponies sounded. Bright turned to the source and ran. The laughter stopped, and he stopped. Fuming he walked back the other way and stopped at a barrel of water. He scoffed “Well Abacus, I can’t believe you’re in there.” He leaned down.

From the water, a pair of hooves grabbed him.

“Flash!” he shouted as they pulled his face under.

Flash flew in from another street. He kicked one of the hooves and pulled Bright away. Bright spat some water out and collapsed to the ground.

Flash looked down at the water in the barrel “There’s no-pony in there.”

“Probably a single use trap. Or an illusion.” He got up “We’ve got to stick together. This world is out to kill us, and my grip on reality isn’t great at the best of times.” He brushed the water of his hat.

The water turned into a note.

Flash grabbed it “What’s this?” It gave off a lavender spark, Flash smirked “Twilight.” He read it out load “Can only do this once or twice. Have been watching mirror, seen Abacus in The Fantasy Factory, Proprietor: Miss J. J. Chambers.”

A bright light switched on and the two looked up. The workhouse building now sported a flashing neon and bulb sign saying, ‘The Fantasy Factory’.

Bright blinked “Speak of the Devil and he shall appear. So that’s where Abacus got to.”

Flash nodded “Got to be careful, it could be another trap.”

All the lights in every room switched on illuminating the pair. Flash blinked and squinted “What’s going on?”

A door open. A spear fired. Flash pushed Bright out the way. The spear grazed his armour and stuck into the floor. Bright got up and examined it “Looks like Abacus is playing games, she wants to humiliate me first.”, Flash rolled his eyes “Typical.”

“Your presence here your Highness makes her task far more difficult and she knows that.”, Flash nodded “And she should also know together we can fight her.”

Bright nodded “Let’s go and meet Miss Chambers, if she’s how I think she is.” And they headed for the front door.

They entered a wooden office. Sitting at the desk a middle-aged stallion with mutton chops, who wrote into a ledger. They glanced at each other before walking up to the desk. Bright cleared his throat “How do you do? I think we’re expected.”

The stallion took no notice and continued writing. The pair looked at each other again. Flash looked down and notice the bell on the desk, he pressed it.

The right broke the trance on the clerk who looked up at the pair “Yes?”

Bright smiled “We’d like to see the Propitiator please.”

“Do you have an appointment sir? Miss Chambers only ever sees people by appointment, most particular about appointments is our Miss Chambers.”

“I think you’ll find we are expected.”, the clerk nodded “What is your name sir?”

“I am Bright Will Wildwind, Sixth Level Wizard of Hogwash’s Arcane Academy, the Deputy Head of the Last Order, Doctor of Wizardry and Bachelor in Thaumatology, Hyperphysical Ungulomancy.” he leaned into Flash and whispered, “An advanced form of hoof-reading.” Then he returned to the clerk “And Impractical Necromancy.” He then presented Flash “And this is my esteemed associate, his Highness Prince Flash Sentry, Consort of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Royal Knight of Equestria, Captain-General of the Everfree Guard.”

The clerk nodded, blotted out the ink on the opened page before he started filing through the other pages in the ledger.

Flash looked to Bright Will and whispered, “If Abacus Cinch wants you dead she’s got a funny way of going about it.”

“I told you, it’s called humiliation.” Bright returned to the clerk “Could you hurry up please, we haven’t got all day.”, the clerk looked up at them “There are procedures to follow sir. Necessary routines to be completed, even when I’ve found your names there are many forms that need to be inscribed before you may move onto the next stage of processing.” He pointed with his quill to the door behind them “Processing is very important in this establishment, I’m sure that even you will understand such things cannot be rushed.”

Bright rolled his eyes and whispered to Flash “Abacus I think is parodying the application process for new students, to try and stall us.”

Flash grumbled “If there’s one thing I hate the most it’s paperwork.” He swiftly jumped at the door. The clerk shouted “You can’t go in there! Not with an appointment!”

What greeted them in the next room made them stop, the clerk looked up and smiled “Ah, Mr Wildwind, your Highness.”

The pair blinked, they stood in an office identical to the one they just came from. And sitting at the desk sat a nearly identical clerk, the only different being the colour of his clothing, and the glasses on his nose.

Bright and Flash glanced back into the first office. The clerk there seemed to forget them and simply went back to his ledger. Bright shut the door and returned to the new clerk “Well,” he said, “at least you’re expecting us.”

“We all are.” The new clerk said.

Flash scowled “Your lookalike out there wasn’t.”

The new clerk put his quill behind his ear “He is the exception. The very junior Mr White Collar is not permitted to expect any-pony.” He smiled as he stood up and walked over to a shelf.

Flash rolled his eyes “Bureaucracy, thank Celestia Mayor Mare is happy to handle the red tape.”

“Instead of that often-derided word, your Highness,” White Collar Senior said placing a ledger on the shelf, he then turned back to the pair “I prefer to call it Order. And the holy writ of Order is procedure. I’m sure you agree.”

Flash grumbled while Bright awkwardly chuckled.

White Collar Senior continued “For example, you wish to see the Proprietor? Now the correct procedure is to make an appointment.”

The pair looked at each other. Bright raised an eyebrow “But we’re already expected.” He stated.

“But the Junior Mr White Collar isn’t allowed to expect any-pony.”

Flash’s scowl grew angrier “You knew we were coming. Why didn’t you inform him?”

“And upset the procedure?” White Collar Senior asked offended, he turned away and muttered “The Junior Mr White Collar has his pride too.”

Flash gritted his teeth. Bright tapped him on the shoulder to calm him down and turned back to the clerk “Is there no way to expedite the procedure?”

White Collar turned back looking as if some-pony just punched his sainted mother “Expedite?” he exclaimed, “I am a senior clerk sir,” he trudged up to them and yelled in their faces “To me the procedure is sacrosanct. My work is a celebration of all that is prefect. Why speed perfection?”

Bright smiled and stated, “Because your employer, or your biggest customer perhaps, wants me dead.”

The clerk’s mouth bobbed momentarily before he returned to his desk “You seem to have found the one little weakness in our procedure sir.” He pulled open a draw and took out a sheet of parchment “Would you sign this Mr Wildwind?”

“What is this?” Bright said taking it in her magic.

“A consent form sir. The corridors in this establishment are very long and dark, should you expectedly die, our blessed proprietor Miss J. J. Chambers insists she inherit your candidacy towards the position of Archchancellor.”

Bright looked at the form “So if I die here, and in the outside world I am elected the title will fall to Miss Chambers?”, the clerk nodded “Obviously, Abacus doesn’t trust either her patron or any other god, if any, to elect her.”, he put the parchment down, he charged his horn and grabbed the quill in White Collar Senior’s ear, the clerk however grabbed hold off it tightly, he then gave Bright another quill.

Bright smiled, dipped the quill into the inkwell and leaned over the parchment.

Flash put his hoof over the signature space “Sign that and you’re a dead pony.”

“We’re in Cinch’s domain, she can kill me anytime she likes.” With the quill in his magic Bright wrote down a series of unusual squiggles.

Watching from the mirror Marble giggled.

Twilight looked to her “What’s funny? Your colt-friend’s just sign his death warrant.”

Marble shook her head and in her whispering voice spoke “Bright’s horn-writing is terrible, he can only horn-write in a secret short-hoof of his own making. Every-pony in the school knows, but no-pony knows what they mean, he might not have even signed his name.”

Twilight’s eyes widened “So, Cinch is stalling them, but Bright’s managed to stall her?”

Marble smiled slyly “Mm-hmm.”

Bright finished his, kind of, signature and gave both quill and parchment back to White Collar Senior, the wizard asked, “Now can we see you Proprietor?”

Collar pointed to a door “The waiting room is through there, you will be summoned as soon as your signature can be verified.”

Now Bright started to fume, but went over to the door, Flash grabbed his shoulder “This is madness!”

“Not if it precipitates my meeting with Abacus.”, he opened the door. And immediately stopped. “This is a very odd waiting room.”

He stood on a beach.

He looked about and smirked “Where are the hopelessly out of date magazines? Eh Flash?” He paused and looked to his side “Flash?”

Cinch’s laugh filled the air. Bright shouted about “What have you done with him?”

“Look at your own predicament.” Came the omnipresent reply.

Bright looked down.

A hoof rose out the muddy sands and wrapped around one of his. Bright gritted his teeth and looked up and shouted “This, is an illusion! I deny it!”

Another hoof grabbed him.

“Not this time.” Cinch called down. More hooves appeared and started to drag him down onto his back and slowly into the sands, “You are dead Wildwind.”

When Bright’s head reach sand level Cinch gleefully shouted “Goodbye Wildwind!” and laughed.

“NO!” Bright shouted just before his head went under.

“Bright!” Flash called out as he flew over a dune. He saw a pair of hindlegs flapping in the air and raced to them. Grabbed the spats. They came off. Bright went under. Flash lowered his head and mumbled a prayer.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us all with the gift of this life and has given to our brother Bright Will Wildwind, his span of years and gifts of character. God our Father, we thank you now for all his life, for every memory of love and joy, for every good deed done by him and every sorrow shared with us. We thank you for his life and for his death, we thank you for the rest in Christ he now enjoys, we thank you for giving him to us, we thank you for the glory we shall share together. Hear our prayers through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”

He threw the spat into the muddy sand.

“Amen.” Came a gargled voice from under the sand. Flash jumped “Bright? A voice from the grave?”

“Not a voice from the grave. A grave voice.” Bright rose out of the sand without a single stain “Bad joke?” he asked to a perplexed Flash, “That partly the point, everything here is a bad joke. Don’t look so confused you’re Highness, we’re not dealing with reality, more like a toned-down version of a world made by Discord.”

“Why waste your breath Wildwind.” Said a voice. They both turned.

Abacus Cinch stood, the wind of the sea blowing at her cloak “He is a simply minded oath who struck lucky.” She disappeared and reappeared next to Flash “And you can’t speak of reality as if it is a one-dimensional concept.” Vanished again.

Bright turned to his side where she now stood “There is a reality you and I can both agree on. The ultimate reality.”

“Death?”, Abacus nodded “The undiscovered country, from whose bourn, no traveller may return.” She jumped, without the actual jumping part, to Bright’s over side, Bright steeled his glare “Puzzles the will.” he added “The Vexing Prince, Act Three Scene One.”

“There’s stuff we share in common, I really must rid myself of that.”

“What I don’t comprehend is why you want me dead.” He held up his hoof “No, I know why, let me rephrase that, I don’t know why you would go to such lengths as this to kill me.”

She disappeared to the top of a far-off sand dune and shouted over “Come now Mr Wildwind. You know as well as I, the position of Archchancellor is held by the most powerful Unicorn in Equestria, Star Swirl the Breaded was offered it, but he turned it down, the fool. I’ve studied, and schemed for many years to become Archchancellor, I’m not going to let Riddle Culler’s favourite student, the quiet one who acts unbecoming of a true wizard to sit on that throne, what is worse is I’d be on the one to coronate you.”

As she spoke she jumped, like before from point to point instantaneously, and slowly approached them again “Only by ridding this institution of you and your misplaced morality, you constant crusading, your…”

Bright finished off “Idiotic honesty?”

“Only by creasing the misguided maxims you live by will I be free to act as I please.” She then vanished entirely.

Flash, who remained quiet through all this simply turned to him “Sounds to me as if Armageddon is upon you Bright.”

Bright nodded “Now let’s find Abacus. We need to return to The Fantasy Factory.”

“But she was here?”

“Illusions! She’s a master at them. That was a shadow of her, not the substance. If you want to stay here a build sandcastle be my guest, if you think hard enough you might just conjure a bucket and spade.” He held up his hoof “No, perhaps if we work together, Abacus is but one mind, together we could out think her, literally.” He shut his eyes “Concentrate your Highness. Imagine a door. And on the other side is The Fantasy Factory.”

Flash closed his eyes and through. He reached out and touch something, he opened them and found his hoof clutching a doorknob. He then examined the door. He’s been thinking of a simple wooden and painted door on a Ponyville house. The door resembled it, the simple plank wood and paint, but the design, more gothic and with ornate metal hinges.

“Well,” Bright said “seems this world decided on a compromise of our together. After you.”

Flash nodded and pushed the door open. The pair then walked back into the courtyard with the Fantasy Factory looming over them. Bright Will sighed “Abacus is not letting us inside.”

A curtain in one of the factory windows opened, White Collar Senior gazed out at the pair.

Bright and Flash reached a set of stairs going up the side of the building.

The door at the top of the factory, with the sign above saying ‘Proprietor: J. J. Chambers’, opened and Abacus stepped onto the balcony, a quill pen in her hoof.

Bright saw this a fire a magic blast. It bounced off some invisible forcefield. She called down “You really are a second-rate advisory. Did you really think I could be defeated by such a simple attack?” she threw the quill down at them. It hit the ground and exploded.

They fell off the ladder. Flash grabbed Bright they flew off.

Abacus laughed and threw more quills at them until they disappeared. She returned to her office.

Bright dropped the invisibility and shield spell. Flash rubbed his wing “I don’t think I’ll ever look at the quill pen the say way again.”

“We’re going to have to fight Abacus another way. We can’t use magic. But,” Bright start circling the courtyard shouting to all and sundry “she overestimates her own cleverness. Like all megalomaniacs she is consumed by her own vanity!” he turned to Flash smugly and said, “that should have enflamed her inflated ego.” He charged his horn and a ladder materialised and rested against the balcony of the main office “Come on.” He said Flash as he started to climb “Let’s find Miss J. J. Chambers.”

They entered to office at the top, finding it exactly like the ones from before, even a waiting room door. Flash scoffed “Doesn’t have much of an imagination, does she?”

“Not really no.” Bright said filing through the desk “It just occurred to me this office is an exact copy of Abacus’s back in the school.”

“Look, what we need to do is draw her out of this spell and into the real world, where the odds will be far better.”

“And how do we do that?” Bright said lifting the flap of the desk.

“I hate to say this, but, use you as bait?”

“Assuming it me that she’s after.”

“Excuse me?”

“It might not only be me.”

“But after all these elaborate lengths.”

“They were elaborate, weren’t they? Perhaps too elaborate.”

“Dear God,” Flash muttered “an interrupter would be a benefit.” He left the office.

Bright found a sheet of parchment “Well, well, well. Look at this.”, dozens of crossed out names written on it. “All the members of the Faculty, the Heads of the Orders, Professor Rinse Wind. Abacus could very well become the most ruthless Archchancellor ever.”

The door to the office opened and Mr White Collar Senior walked in, followed by Flash holding a spear. White Collar blustered “I really must protest at this unseemly behaviour, you are contravening all known procedure.”

Bright frowned “Where did you find that spear Flash?”

“I imagined it. And I’ve persuaded this minion here to show us to his boss, the mysterious Miss J. J. Chambers.”

Bright smirked and pointed to the waiting room “Care to lead the way.”

White Collar turned pale and begged “No, no! Not through there, Miss Chambers is currently across the courtyard sir.”

Flash pressed his spear into White Collar’s neck “If he isn’t they’ll be one less bureaucrat in this Wonderful Garden.”

“Wait,” Bright said, and with his magic removed the quill from White Collar’s ear “You won’t be needing this.”, Flash nodded “Good eye Bright.” He then motioned White Collar to continue.

They left the office and made their way across the courtyard. They entered another room with a steam engine in it, Bright smiled widely “Just look at this expertly crafted machine! Pride in every cog and piston!”

“Bright.” Flash said, “We have other priorities, Cinch?” He glanced at White Collar, the clerk gulped “My employer can’t be far.”

Bright nodded “I expect not,” he narrowed his eyes “Mr White Collar.”

The clerk smiled unsurely and walked further into the building. Flash glanced at him and raised an eyebrow. Bright nodded, turned around to a table full of tools and various part. He took a bit of cable wire. Quietly they followed the path White Collar made.

They turned a corner just catching White Collar closing a pair of doors, with the word ‘Danger’ in capital letters painted across them. The clerk turned around, cleared his throat and nervously said “I’m afraid I can’t seem to find Miss Chambers.”

Bright nodded “Yes, I thought that might, be, the, case.” He looked down the corridor to the side of the doors “Who’s that?”

White Collar turned around. Flash pounced on him. Bright brought out the cable. Tied the clerk’s hooves and then tied them to a pillar of the corridor. White Collar shouted “Untie me this instant! Miss Chamber will want an explanation for this wicked behaviour.”

Bright smiled and charged his horn “Then why don’t we ask her, shall we?” His magic engulfed the clerks face. And ripped the mask off. Abacus Cinch glared at them. Flash then grabbed the top layer of the costume and ripped it off revealing her robes. Flash turned to Bright “How did you know?”

“The performance was too grotesque to be real. You always like a bit of theatre, didn’t you Abacus?” he turned to the cupboard with the danger sign “Now then, what are you hiding.” With his magic, he opened the doors.

Inside the small space sat a curious machine, like a scaled down version of the Dimension Mirror currently in Twilight’s laboratory, the mirror looked straight out a window to a night’s sky. Bright examined it closely. He glanced back at Cinch “Powering whatever this is with Mirror Magic Cinch?”

“Mirror Magic? Like that Juniper Incident Starlight told me and Twilight about?”

“Not quite sure what you mean. But I don’t think so. Ancient people distrusted mirrors saying they can suck out a piece of their soul, all superstition has to start somewhere.”

“So, wait,” Flash said, “a mirror can do that?”

“Not quite, it’s just an image, but an image is tied to the function. Light is the image of energy. Think about this, a mirror can contain the reflection of the whole universe, a whole sky of stars in a piece of silvered glass no thicker than a breath. Think of all the energy being reflected into this, thing. All that, power.” He glanced at Cinch, who smirked.

Flash glanced between them “I see, increase your own power. But we’re in an invented universe.”

“Make something here, transported to the real one.” Cinch stated she glanced at Bright “And you can’t stop it.”, the young wizard narrowed his eyebrows “Watch me.” He turned to Flash “Get out of here your Highness, this could be dangerous.”

“But what about you and Cinch?”

“There are other candidates from Archchancellor. Go!”

Flash jumped out the mirror and skidded across the floor and into the wall.

“Flash!” Twilight cried. She jumped at his side. He rubbed his head before looking at her and smiled “Feels great to be back.”

The door opened and Mr Ponders stepped in with other more older ponies he cleared his throat “Where is Mr Wildwind?”

They explained.

“Ah,” Ponder said “that’s going to complicate things. The gods have chosen Mr Wildwind as Archchancellor.”

Bright toyed with various magical tools and the Magic Mirror Machine as he called the device.

Cinch tapped her hoof on the floor “You’re elevating futility to a high art. There’s nothing you can do to prevent the catharsis of spurious morality.”

Bright glanced back “If you complied this monstrosity it only follows that I, a wizard of your level remember, should be able to unravel it.”, he banged a group of wires from there place, it sparked violently. He then tightened a spring and flicked a switch. The machine blew. Bright turned to her “Eureka! And you said it couldn’t be done.”

Cinch looked worried “What have you done?”

“Reversed the polarity of the neutron flow.”

“But the feedback! The mirror! That mirror is inside one, it’s a multi-facade setup!”

Bright’s eye widened and they both looked back.

The mirror shattered.

Two bodies fell out.

“Bright!” Marble cried as she came to his side and felt him “He’s out cold.”

Ponder walked up and felt his pulse “He’s not dead.”, he went to the Cinch and did the same “Neither is the Dean.” He opened her eye lid “There minds aren’t here though, they’re just empty vessels now.”, Marble sobbed and held Bright’s head to herself.

Flash looked to Twilight “What happened?”

“That’s the trouble with using multiple mirrors for magical proposes, too much of youself gets trapped within them."

Abacus Cinch looked about at the multi-layered silvery world “Where, where am I?”

“Inside the broken mirrors.” said a voice, a voice like lead slabs being dropped on granite. With an echo, one might here within a tomb.

Abacus turned, and gasped.

Before here stood an Alicorn. A male Alicorn. A male Alicorn taller than Princess Celestia. A pale green male Alicorn taller than Princess Celestia. A pale green male Alicorn taller than Princess Celestia, cloaked in the darkest black, indescribably black, light simply absorbed into it. He also carried a scythe at his side.

Abacus stepped back “I, I, didn’t think you were real, I thought you were a myth.”

“I am a myth, that’s what makes me real.”

“Am I dead?”

“The answer to that is somewhere between yes and no.”

Abacus turned around. A billion other Abacus Cinchs turned with her, the Grim Reaper’s reflection appeared nowhere. “When can I get out?”

“When you find the version of you that is real.”

Abacus started running through the endless reflection.

Bright looked about at the multi-layered silvery world “Where, where am I?”

“Inside the broken mirrors.” said a voice, a voice like lead slabs being dropped on granite. With an echo, one might here within a tomb.

Bright turned, and blinked, then he approached and raised an eyebrow “Does this mean the Book of Revelations is canon?”

“Let the church leader decide that one.”

“Is your name really just Death?”

“I am the Prince of Death. Thanatos. It’s lifetime position. My Uncle held it before me.”

“I see.” He looked about at the mirrors, the faces of a billion other Bright Will Wildwinds stared back at him. “When do I get out?”

“When you find the version of you that is real.”

Bright looked down and felt himself “This one.”

Thanatos smiled “When you’re summoned to present yourself at Canterlot, please tell Celestia and Luna I said hello. I imagine they’d to know how their little brother is doing.”

Bright blinked as he faded.

“And please tell Princess Twilight that our elder brother Orcus should be able to help with her foal fallacy.”

Bright opened his eyes and looked up at a crying Marble. He could hear her whispering his name. His hoof took her. She shifted and looked at him. He smiled and tilted his head “Have I done something wrong?” Marble blinked. Before any-pony could say anything, her lips crashed into his.

Bright sat on the throne. Marble sat on a small chair beside him. His idea. Holding hooves.

The Faculty stood around them, except for the Dean of course, the position of Vice-Dean to act in Abacus’s place would be yet to be filled.

The other staff, the students and other wizards stood before them.

The Six Heads of the Orders of Wizardry, the six houses of Hogwash’s Arcane Academy walked up to the throne. On their backs, they carried a large velvet cushion. On it, the Archchancellor’s Hat. A good hat. A magnificent hat.

Pointy, of course, with a wide floppy brim, but after disposing of these basic details the designer really got down to business. Gold lace, and pearls, and bands of purest ermine, and sparkling gemstones, and some incredibly tasteless sequins.

Ponder, acting Vice-Dean took the hat with his magic and place it on Bright’s head.

Flash, who with Twilight stood in a corner leaned and whispered, “Bright looked better with the fedora, didn’t he?”, she nodded, momentarily she placed hoof on her ever-expanding baby bump. She wondered what Orcus would do to help her. He was the eldest of Celestia’s siblings, but what connected the current guarding of the tomb of their grandfather the Apostle Prue Gift with Alicorn foals?

Well, maybe he witnessed Celestia’s, Luna’s and apparently Thanatos’s birth. Maybe he saw a method to control the unstable magic of an Alicorn foal demonstrated by Flurry Heart.

Twilight blinked, and smiled hopefully.

Ponder turned to the gathered and called out “Would the Student Body, and the gather wizards of Equestria, please acknowledge, the three-hundred and fifth, Archchancellor.”

Every-pony with staffs banged them three times, before all bowed to Bright and Marble.

Bright smiled and nodded “Thank you, every one of you.” He stood up and stood tall “As first act as Archchancellor, I hereby abolish the practise of Dead Pony’s Pointy Horseshoes.”

Murmurs filled the room. Bright narrowed his gazed and silenced them “I realise the tradition has a reason for existing, but it is not a good reason. As such I propose two changes.”

Flash and Twilight smiled at Bright’s authority, and thus they let themselves out quietly.

Author's Note

This is another tribute to Terry Partchett. Hogwash's Arcane Academy is heavily based on Unseen University, although originally I planned to include some Hogwarts into it, but I'm not a big Harry Potter fan, maybe in a future chapter or story.

And before people ask about the Matrix, or make quote about blue or red pills this is actually based on The Ultimate Foe or Trial of a Time Lord Parts 13 and 14 from Classic Doctor Who.

For those who don't know who Orcus is or what I mean when refering to him I recommend reading the Silver Enlightnment if you haven't already , it has a large influence on this story, and is the start point of the universe I'm making.

I haven't watch any of the Equestria Girls films in full, so I don't have much understanding of Principle Cinch's character. This Cinch is more based on the Valeyard, the main villain of The Trial of a Time Lord

Until next time.

Post-Mare Fluttershy

Winter Warp Up came and, naturally with Twilight’s organising skill it came and went without a hitch.

Now spring came in full earnest other matters of started to occur. Fluttershy for one notice Cipher started acting very nervous and unsure around her. She could tell he still most definitely love her, but he started acting very delicate around her. After about a week she finally called him down the cottage early in morning and spoke frankly to him.

“I know I don’t like hurting your feelings Cipher, but I’m not made of glass.”

Her colt-friend sighed “I know Flutter, it’s you I’m worried about, it’s me.”

She tilted her head “Cipher? Is something the matter?”

He sighed again and looked away “I been having these terrible dreams.”

“Dream? Can’t Princess Luna help?”

“The Princess has come to me a few times already, but since I keep on having the same dream she says I need to sort it out myself.”

“What this dream about.”

“Me,” he cringed and turned away “hurting, and, possibly,” he cringed again and rolled into himself “killing you.”

Her eyes widened and she stepped closer “What, what do you mean?”

“I’ll warn you in advance Flutter, you’ll become very uncomfortable after this.”

He recounted his dream. The two of them were, mating. Naturally, Fluttershy blushed heavily. As they continued Cipher, empowered by the blissful love she, pumped out, he started getting stronger, faster, only escalating the situation. Dream Fluttershy started screaming, not out of pleasure, but proper pain. Cipher looked down and found himself growing bigger. Already at Bulk’s size and growing, becoming too much for her.

He backed into a corner, the confines of the cottage started becoming unaccommodating for him. Shifting position to fit he looked down and a tiny, shaking, sobbing and bleeding Fluttershy, she looked up and wailed “MONSTER!”

Cipher broke through the roof and the screaming stopped.

“Then the Princess would arrive and the dream would stop.”

Tears rolled down both their faces. Fluttershy, still blushing somewhat, wrapped her hooves around his neck “It’s okay Cipher, that’s not going to happen. You’re not a monster. You’re a kind and gentle soul who care about his friends. And most importantly you are the stallion I love. I would never, in all my life call you a monster. I have never called any creature a monster, not even when I was afraid of that dragon. I know what it’s like to be a monster, and you are most definitely not one.”

“But,” Cipher said, “what if what happened in the dream happens?”

“It’s just a dream Cipher.”

“But what if. No-pony knows what will happened to a Changeling when he mates for real love.”

“You told me you stopped growing.” She ran her hoof down his body, he shut his eyes and shivered with a smile. Fluttershy continued “This is a Changeling’s adult phase, insects don’t grow after they reached that.”

“True Flutters, but no-pony knows much about are new appearances.”

She giggled and recounted what happened in the bathroom before the Major’s balloon lecture. Cipher narrowed his eyes “So best case is I just pass out?”

“Maybe.” She blushed heavily and whispered in his ear “Although I wouldn’t mind if we could go all the way.”

His eyes widened and he blushed and gulped “Flutters, I need to go outside for a moment and gather my thoughts, maybe sort out the garden before I go deliver the post.”

She nodded and he existed the door.

Fluttershy sighed and went into the kitchen. She began to wonder what could have caused these anxiety nightmares. He did lose sleep over worry about her parents and Zephyr Breeze not accepting him. Could it be something similar? She started wondering what.

Riolu handed over a tea cup which she put in the sink.

Then she glanced at the town clock and blinked “Oh my, look at the time. Cipher’s going to be late.” She walked to the front door and opened the top half to call out “Cipher! You better stop gardening for now, it’s nearly quarter past!”

“Hang on!” came the reply from behind some bushes “I’ll be there in a minute. I’ll just shift this.”

She nodded and walked back inside. Riolu jumped over the bottom of the door and she giggled “That’s pup’s getting very athletic.”

A squeaky grumbling sounded and she glanced at Angel Bunny sitting on the stairs, who’s foot twitch in annoyance. Fluttershy sighed and rubbed his head “I know Riolu beat you at Parkour Angel but you were the one to challenge him.”, Angel crossed his arms.

Fluttershy went back into the kitchen and called out “You know Angel, it’s that attitude of yours that the Doe Bunnies in the area keep on refusing you.”

She heard an offended squeak. Fluttershy shook her head, she released in the last year or so she’d been acting a little more tough to Angel, but ever since he smacked Riolu when he simply said hello, well, getting a taste of own medicine may just be the trick.

She took the brush and started sweeping. Then she paused. She didn’t here Cipher return. She then hurt urgent barking. Quickly she went to the door and gasped.

Riolu slowly let a pained Cipher lean on him. His left wing twitched as he cringed. Flutters let the door opened “What happened Cipher?”

“I tried pulling a weed out of the ground. I think I pulled to hard and too far.”, Fluttershy noticed a crack in his hide and blood seeping out, quickly she got bandages and wrapped the wound up. She looked at him confused “I thought your armoured hide was tough?”

“It is, but it has a weakness.” He said, as he shifted slightly he flinched “It’s quite ridged, if bent too far it can split.” He hissed as he sat down “I think it’s buckled in place and digging into me. Ouch!”

“Will it heal?”

“No, sadly not.” He winched “It’s no good, I’m going to half to moult my shell!”

“You can do that?”

“Of course, I am an arthropod.”

“But, dragonflies and such insects don’t moult after their final moult.”

“I went through a cocoon phase, not a final moult. I’ve seen some of the older member of the hive do it and their alright. His Majesty’s yet to do it though.” He gulped and he shifted away from her, and suffering the pain from the moment, and muttered “We also grow a little. Thankfully only an inch or two.”

Instinctually, Fluttershy’s tongue darted out to moisten her suddenly dry lips. She felt a tap on her side, and Angel held out a pocket watch, she gasped at the time “The post’s going to be late!”

Cipher sighed “I can’t shed my shell in a few minutes.” His hoof went to his face “And Muffins can’t get some-pony down to take over at such short notice.”

A thought crossed Fluttershy’s mind “Why don’t I do it?”

“Flutter? You would?”, she nodded “Riolu can show me the route. And I can fly.”

Cipher sighed “I suppose it’s the only thing to do. I hope Muffins will understand.”

“Oh, I’m sure she will.”

Riolu barked and nodded. Quickly the two got Cipher’s bag out from the back of the Auto-magic cart and the Jakhowl climbed onto her back. As they fell he gave her a nice chat.

Muffins mopped the floor of the Post Office. Something to keep her mind of the fact of Cipher’s absence.

The door opened and the bell rang. Muffins smiled and at first didn’t look up as she put the mop in the bucket “Morning Ci…” she looked up and paused. She straightened her eyes just to make sure and then frown “Hello? Fluttershy?” she looked at Riolu at the butter coloured mare’s side “Where’s Cipher?”

Fluttershy explained “…I hope you don’t mind.”

Muffins smiled “As long as the mail gets through. Sorry to hear about Cipher.” She went back around the counter and place the post onto it “Not a lot of post today. You should be able to carry it in the bag.”

Fluttershy smiled “Oh, good, that should make things a little easier.”

Muffins motioned Flutters in slightly “Do you mind asking Dotty Miller for her carrot cake recipe? It’s not something I could ask of Cipher.”, Fluttershy giggled and nodded “Of course Muffins, don’t worry. See you later.” And she stepped out onto the High Street.

Riolu took the first parcel out of the bag and barked out the address. For the Reverend Farthing at the Castle of Friendship. Fluttershy smiled, it meant she could have a small chat with Twilight, no doubt she would like to know about the new information of Reformed Changelings.

She landed at the steps and knocked on the door.

The window opened and Spike blinked, looked down at Riolu, shut it and opened the door “Hey Fluttershy, where’s Cipher?”, she explained it as they walked the corridors.

“Um, where’s the Reverend?”

“He’s in the library with Twilight and Flash, and a special guest.”

“Oh?” Fluttershy didn’t like to gossip, but sometimes she did get curious.

Spike crossed his arms “It’s a private matter Fluttershy, you’ll need to speak with Twilight after this.”, Fluttershy blushed “I’m sorry.” She gave him the parcel “Can you give that to the Reverend?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks,” she looked about “I should be going. But, I’ll come back to check on the creatures here once I’m done with the mail and check on Cipher.”

Spike shuddered, but then nodded “Okay, but please, don’t ask me for help.”

She nodded and existed. Riolu jumped on her back again the pair flew off to the next stop.

They followed the road as Cipher would with the cart. Some sheep bleated in a field and Fluttershy giggled, it would be lambing season some, her heart fluttered with the image on new-born lambs.

Riolu then told her to go left. She turned and landed at Sweet Apple Arches. She went to the kitchen door and knocked.

Applejack appeared and stopped in surprise, Fluttershy explained. Applejack became nervous for some reason “Cipher seriously injured? Today?”

Fluttershy nodded “Um, yes. Is there something special about today?”

“Well, um.” Applejack stuttered “Kind of. I can’t really say. Might not be happening. Sorry Fluttershy, but I got thing to do.” She took the letter and slammed the door.

Fluttershy blinked and turned to Riolu “I wonder what that was about?”, the Jakhowl shrugged before climbing onto her again.

As she walked out of the yard she caught Mr Sutch talking with Big Mac and Grand Pear. The Trottingham stallion seemed to be an on and off resident of the farm, presumably he got work as a stand-up comedian occasionally over the winter. What would the rest of the year have for him?

The Pearly looked out at the arches and glanced to Big Mac “Blimey Mac ploughing that must be exhausting.”

Big Mac shrugged.

Grand Pear spoke up “My Pa always said work never killed no-pony. It made them in odd shapes.”, this caused Big Mac to laugh loudly and Sutch to chuckle before say “Not sure I can use that for material.”

Fluttershy giggled before spreading her wings and took off again. She flew over a few hills and over a bridge.

Her last call for the day, the North-Eastern Windmill.

Dotty stepped out of the Windmill with a sack of freshly ground floor on her back. She looked up and raised an eyebrow “Afternoon Fluttershy, what’s Riolu doing flying with you?”

For nth time, she lost count, Fluttershy explained. Dotty started looking twitchy too. Fluttershy decided to ignore this “Muffins asked if she could have your carrot cake recipe.”

“Carrot cake?” Dotty said backing up slightly “I, I don’t know, not right now. Sorry.” She hurried into the kitchen.

Fluttershy blinked “She forget the letters.” She looked to Riolu “Maybe we should find Mr Miller.”, the pup nodded and the pair walked to the field.

They found Windy mending one of his hen houses. He looked up and put his hammer into the toolbox “Well, hello Fluttershy. What a surprise.”

She giggled “Hello Windy. I’ve got your Hen Farmers Weekly and your letters, I spoke with Dotty, but she didn’t take them for some reason.” As Windy walked up she explained about Cipher.

Suddenly he started looking nervous “You’re a bit early with the post. I mean you mustn’t be took quick. Do you fancy a sandwich?”

She smiled but shook her head “No thank you, I’m fine. I’ve got to go.”

“Well, um.” Windy looked down “You’re an expect with animal, how about a look at my prize hens?” He picked a black chicken up “How about this one, isn’t she a beauty? You can hold her if you want.”

“Um, no thanks Windy. And she’d prefer to be on the ground.” She said pointing to the chicken “I really must be going.”

“No, no.” Windy said “You can’t leave without a cup of tea.”

She shook her head and more firmly stated “I need to check on Cipher.” She opened her wings, Windy pleaded “You could take Cipher some eggs.”

Fluttershy resisted giving him the Stare and flew off.

What a strange day. She hoped Cipher would be better, she needed some normality today.

She landed at the cottage and blinked in surprise at what laid on the compost heap. A collapsed, translucent, mould might be the best word, of Cipher sat in the garden. His broken old shell. So presumably inside would be a healed and, slightly larger Cipher.

She opened the door and walked in to find her colt-friend sitting reading one of her books. He looked up and smiled “How was it Flutters?” he asked standing up.

Fluttershy paused to examine him closely. He looked about an inch and a half taller, he and Big Mac would probably have to be measured to find out who now stood taller, true no-pony ever did it when Cipher arrived, but presumably Twilight would do it, for academical proposes of course. Strangely enough he also appeared more well defined, he looked stronger. Maybe the months of being in love together meant his insides developed and now he showed it on the outside. Her mouth watered ‘He looks even sexier now.’ She supressed her squeak of surprise at her own thought, and she blushed, before out of desire and embarrassment.

Cipher chuckled and rubbed his check over her head, neck and mane “It’s alright Fluttershy, you can look if you want to. I’m here for you. I always will.”

He cleared his throat and looked at her straight in the eyes “Fluttershy, we’ve been together for about quarters of a year?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve been thinking. You’re the mare how makes me most happy, makes me feel the strongest I’ve ever felt. Makes me feel loved, not falsely for a means to an end like Her Tragedy. Not the love of a parent or a sibling or a close friend. A love all myself.”

She smiled and shed joyful tears “I feel the same way.”

“Then,” He said kneeling “I hope you feel the same way I do about this.”

Her eyes widened and she followed him. He charged his horn and a, not so small, velvet box appeared. He put it in her hoof and nodded for her to open it. She bit her lip and did so, she acted hesitantly encase the box disappeared. Finally, it opened. She gasped, she did expect to know what rested inside, but she didn’t expect its beauty.

A bangle, made of brass with a golden stripe and three gems encased within it.

“Fluttershy.” Cipher whispered, “Will you marry me?”

More tears of joy ran down her face. Her throat turned dry, but she nodded vigorously.

Cipher smiled and instantly gave her a smacking kiss. He placed the bangle on her hoof.

Then came an explosion of confetti. Pinkie jumped at the pair “Yay! Now it’s party time!”

From the stairs and the door, nearly every-pony from the Cipher’s round. Her friends, animal ones included came rushing down and into the house given them both congrats.

Fluttershy turned to Cipher “You planned this?”, he chuckled awkwardly “Kind of why I was acting so unsure. Princess Luna recommend I just ignore the fear and just ask it, and of course Pinkie somehow found out.”

She rolled her eyes and giggled. Then she leaned into him with a smile. The future looked very bright.

Come in. Your Time is Up.

In the shadow of the Castle of Friendship stand a pretty little garden, one the Reverend Farthing set up as a community place, a little quiet area out of the way for any-pony not wanting to be at the park.

Today the Major and Porter walked about it in their uniforms and carrying a bunch of sacks. The Major pulled out his pocket watch “Look at the time.” He looked back to his Steward “Did you give Cold Steel my instructions?”

“Yes sir.” He said as they put their loads down “I told Steel to stay outside the gates to the Hall and wait for the platoon and then bring them here. I just hope they won’t be exhausted after matching to there and back again like that.”

The Major nodded “This evening’s platoon is an absolute mess up.”

“Good evening.” Said a voice. The two military ponies turned.

And elderly Earth Pony stallion. A pale greyish indigo colt with a feather duster cutie mark. Bushy and perhaps balding grey mane and tail. Dressed smarty in a waistcoat and light blue cravat.

Porter smiled “Good evening Mr Randolph. How are your employers doing?”

“Very well, very well. Mr Rich is certainly a lot healthier since he started the mobile shop, Mrs Rich has lessened her complaining. And Miss Diamond has started doing errands in the shop. Can I help you?”

The Major shook his head “No thank you no. I’m just waiting for my fellows.”

Randolph looked confused “I don’t need any help with the Vicar’s garden I always do it on my own.”

Porter spoke up “We’re not going to be doing any gardening Mr Randolph. The Major here is going to give us a lecture.”

“He’s not qualified to give a lecture on gardening. I’ve seen his garden, it’s in a terrible state.”

The Major frowned at the elderly butler “Badges, foxes and rabbits, that’s what wrong with my garden. And I’m not giving a lecture on gardening.”

“Well who is then?” He looked to Porter “You?”, the Steward smiled and shook his head “No, no of course not.”

“Well, don’t you at me. I’m not giving any lectures on gardening. Mind you I could, but I’ve got to do the Vicar’s greenfly.”

The Major rolled his eyes “I don’t want any-pony to give a lecture of gardening…”

Randolph interrupted “Well then, I can do a lecture on lots of things. Woodwork, cleaning out gutters,” he paused “I gave Prince Flash that one before he joined the Royal Guard. I also do lectures on, repairing scooters, I do a very good lecture on repairing scooters, gave the Vicar that one after the incident with his brakes.”

“Yes,” the Major nodded “thank you…”

“Restoring old picture frames, now there’s a dying art.”

Porter paused “Actually sir, some of the fames on the picture in the hall could do with touching up. The one around the Van Colt could definitely do with improving.”

The Major nodded “Not right now though Porter.”

Cold Steel’s voice faded into listening range as he and the rest of the platoon march into the garden.

Randolph blinked “They can’t go marching on the lawn, they’ll cut it to pieces!” he turned to the Castle and ran to the ground floor window of the Vicarage Wing “Mr Farthing?”

The Major looked to Porter “Go with him Porter.”

“Yes sir.” He followed Randolph to the window as the Reverend appeared at it “What’s the matter Mr Randolph? I’m very busy working on Princess Twilight’s special project.”

“The Major’s got a load of ponies marching about the garden and he wants me to give them a lecture on gardening.”

Porter laughed and put his shoulder on the elder pony’s shoulder “No Mr Randolph, you’ve got it all wrong. The Padre here has kindly said that we can use his garden.”

Farthing nodded “I did give them permission Mr Randolph, and the garden is free for public use, within reason of course.”

Randolph looked concerned “They’ll trample all over the flowerbeds.”

“I can see them quite clearly from my desk, so I’ll keep an eye on them. I’ll see they don’t do anything improper manner.”

Porter held up his hoof “We’re not going to do anything improper Padre.”

“We’ll, see that you don’t. After all, I’ve never so many ponies in the garden before, don’t know what to expect.” He turned away and returned to his desk.

The Major meanwhile arranged the platoon to sit on the grass, or for some off the older ones on the bench. “Right now, settle down every-pony. I must apologise for this unusual arrangement. But the Stable Hall is having its roof removed to release the bats, and then it’s being fumigated against woodborer beetles and termites. And as for the grounds, we’ve had an infestation of rabbits, as such Helmet Listener the poacher and Miss Fluttershy, with Mister Cipher’s help, are clearing the grounds of the warrens. So here we are.”

He looked to his side and Porter returned “What did the Padre say?”

“He says it’s alright as long as we don’t do anything improper.”, the Major frowned and glanced to the Reverend in the window and asked Porter “What does he mean by that?”

“I really have no idea sir. Apparently, he’s never had so many ponies in the Castle Garden before.”

The Major sniffed and muttered “I see.” He turned away from the window and addressed the Platoon. “Now, the subject of my lecture today, is fieldcraft.” Porter walked behind him and other to the sacks as he continued “Now the Everfree Guard has just been issued with Two-Pony Bivouac Tents.” He turned to Porter “Show the Platoon one will you Porter?”

With his magic, the sergeant pulled a folded up khaki cloth “A Two-Pony Bivouac Tent.” He proclaimed.

The rest of the platoon said nothing.

Major Fields cleared his throat “Now, the best way to test these out is to have a weekend camp. And I thought the best time to have that would be…”

Vigil interrupted him and said, “At the weekend.”

Major Fields stayed silent and glared at her before muttering “Thank you Vigil.”

“Permission to speak sir.” Steel called, “When you say a two-pony tent sir, it may be alright for two little ponies, but what about a tall pony, or a fat pony?”

“Yes alright, thank you Steel. I’ll sort out the sleeping arrangements.”

Caramel how sat down raised his hoof “I’m just asking if Sassaflash can come with and we can sleep together, she is my wife after all.”

The Major shook his head “This is a platoon exercise only. We don’t want to mix work with pleasure.”

Vigil leaned to Lucky Clover and muttered “He’s only saying that because Miss Grey’s gone back to her university.

Major Fields cleared his throat again to change subjects “Now, the advantage of these tents, it that they can be put up in the matter of a minute or so. I’ll show you.” He walked over the sacks and pulled out a pair of poles and a mallet. “Caramel?”

“Yes sir.” The yellow stallion said getting up, the Major gave the poles and the mallet to him “Bang these poles into the ground, will you?”

“Yes sir.”

Randolph watching this quickly went to the window “Mister Farthing!”

“Oh, for goodness sakes.” The Reverend muttered getting out the deck and walked to the window “What is it now Mister Randolph?”

“They’re banging poles in the lawn.”

“Oh really?” He groaned and called over “You’re behaving in an improper way Major Fields, no holes in the lawn, please.”

The Major rolled his eyes “This is ridiculous! How can I conduct a lecture under these conditions?”

“Excuse me sir.” Porter said, “If you got some-pony to hold the poles, then there wouldn’t be any holes.”, the Major nodded “That’s good thinking.” He turned to Caramel “Right, you hold one of the poles Caramel,” then he turned to Cold Steel “You hold the other one Steel.”

“Right sir, hold the pole.”, Caramel and Steel knelt as low as they could go and held the poles out at body length.

Meanwhile, the Major and Porter unfurled the tent itself, Fields continued the lecture “Once you’ve got the poles in the ground, all you should do, is throw the tent over them and fasten the pegs. And the whole thing’s done. The easiest thing.” The two commanding officers of the Home Guard flung the tent over the pair of Caramel and Steel.

The tent stood for a few seconds. One pole flew sideways. Then the other.

The Major turned to the others as the two stuck in the tent struggled to get themselves out, “Yes, well.” He said, “You get the general idea.”

Caramel and Steel stood up, the tent acting like a cloak. Caramel turned to Steel. The older solider shuddered and wailed as if scared, before coming to his senses and getting out.

The Major waited, “Right Caramel, tidy that up.”

Caramel took the poles from the ground and placed them inside the tent. Then he took the other end of the material and draped it around himself like a villainous cape before walking trudging over to the supply sack. Much to the amusement of the other platoon members.

Major Fields waited for him to return to the platoon. “Next aspect of fieldcraft I want to deal with, is living off the land.” He glanced at Porter “Got it out the box will you sergeant?”

As Porter took a mane-brush from the sack the Major continued “Now, I want you to imagine we’ve been invaded and pushed to the open country in guerrilla warfare. Our supply lines are cut off. We are starving and we have to comb the land for food.”

Vigil raised her hoof and questioned “With a mane-brush?”

“With a…” the Major stopped and glanced to Vigil, then back to Porter “Tell the Platoon what that is Sergeant.”

“A hedgehog.”

Caramel raised his hoof “Major? Why do you want Sergeant Porter to comb is mane with a hedgehog?”

“We’re going to eat the hedgehog.” The Major specified.

A good number of the platoon cringed and Waddle voiced these concerns “Sir, I don’t think I could bring myself to eat a poor little hedgehog. I don’t think we ponies have the stomach for them.”

“May I remind you to imagine this is war Padre. Ponies have done worse in the most desperate of situations. According to witness testimonies of the Raft of the Medusa some resorted to cannibalism.”

Almost the entirety of the platoon cringed, and many looked unwell.

Porter asked “How do you know you can eat hedgehog? Have you ever eaten on sir?”

“No, I haven’t eaten one personally, but it’s well know that they are very good to eat, Lord Spectre told me many of the carnivorous citizens of the Hollow Shades eat them all the time.”

Cold Steel spoke up “Supposing as you say, our supplies have been all cut off. And you come rolling down the road and speak to us all causal and say, ‘Well fellows, were going to have hedgehog for supper’ you say, and we go out and there aren’t any hedgehogs. Why? Cause the citizens of the Hollow Shades have eaten them previously.”

The Major chuckled “I think you entering the realms of fantasy again Steel. You have no need to worry, there are always plenty of hedgehogs to go around.”

Vigil interrupted him and said sternly “Not in early spring.”

The Major sniffed “Having caught our hedgehog, we then have to cook it. Now, here’s a little trick to know about cooking hedgehog. Caramel.”

Said stallion stood up as the Major ordered him to “Hold your hooves out in front of you, would you?”, Caramel reared up on his hindlegs while the Major took out a tin box, he then poured a thick brown sludge onto his hooves.

Caramel blinked before asking “Major? Why have your put mud all over my hooves?”

“All in good time.” He took the pseudo-hedgehog from Porter and placed it on top of the mud. “You wrap the hedgehog in the mud.” He nodded to Caramel. The yellow stallion paused took a chunk from the bottom and slapped it on top, spilling some and nearly hitting the Major.

The Major waited as the mud settled before continuing “Then you roll it into a ball, then you put it in the embers of a fire and bake it until the mud is hard. Then you break off the mud, the bristle of the hedgehog come away with it, and there’s you hedgehog done to a turn. Every-pony get the idea?”

Then all nodded, however still unsure about the whole eating an animal deal.

Major Fields looked to Caramel “Clear it up Caramel.”

“But Major, I wasn’t…”

“Don’t argue with your superior office Caramel. Go clean yourself up.”

As Caramel walked away the Major turned to Porter “Porter start building a fire, will you?”

“Yes sir.”, the Major looked to Cold Steel and ordered him to help.

Meanwhile, Caramel went to a nearby statue of a mare. He splatted the lump of mud on the mane. Draw a moustache and beard on her. But then, he hesitated tried to find a place on the statute to wipe his hooves. Torso, no. Rear, no. He settled for her forelegs.

He then sat back in his place.

Lucky leaned down and asked “Why were you being so awkward? Haven’t you grasp those areas of Sass by now?”

Caramel blushed “Of course I have, just the idea of touch another mare like that, it would make me feel unfaithful.”, a few of the platoon rolled their eyes, looked confused or chuckled.

Randolph watched Porter and Steel building up a small pile of wood on a metal base and quickly went to the window “Mr Farthing!”

The Reverend almost snapped his pencil down as he stood up.

Randolph pointed “There setting fire to your lawn!”

The Major called over “We’re not going to light it Padre, it’s only a demonstration.”

Farthing sighed “Now look here Mr Randolph, if you disturb me once more I shall get very cross indeed. If Major Fields does anything else he shouldn’t do just deal with it yourself.”

The Major turned back to the Platoon “Here’s a tip for lighting the fire if the wood should be damp.” He took a small vile of liquid “You can simply make it go, by pouring crossbow oil all over it.” He demonstrated. “Also, if there happens to be a very strong wind bellowing you can overcome that by light three matches at once.”

He took a matchbox. “Caramel?”

The yellow stallion glanced to the others and muttered “I feel like I’m in detention.”, a few chuckles rumbled through the platoon as he stood up.

The Major gave him the box “Now, I don’t want you to light the fire, you understand. Don’t light it under any condition. All I want you to do is go through the motions.”

“Yes sir.”, Caramel picked about the box to get three matches. He knelt beside the woodpile, “Don’t light the fire?” he asked, Major Fields nodded in confirmation, he struck the trio of matches. The large flame brunt his fur. He dropped them.

The oil caught fire.

Randolph took a bucket “I’m not having that!” He chucked the water out onto the wood and all over Caramel.

A few weeks later the platoon set up their weekend camp in a field, near the main river into Ponyville, near the borders of the Everfree Kingdom.

The tents in a neat straight line, the Three T parked next to them and the platoon flag flying.

Most of the platoon took part in a kit fit exercise, with the Major acting as instructor of course. Reverend Waddle, Vigil and Zecora stood be a portable stove making the dinner.

Vigil peeled the last potato and put it in the bucket “That’s the lot.”, Zecora took the bucket and poured the spuds into the stove, the water steamed. Vigil then spoke up “Put the salt in Padre.”

“I’ll put in thirty-one pinches, that’s one for every member.” He slowly counted them out.

At three Vigil lost patience and grabbed the bag “Don’t be so namby-pamby! Tip it in.” And she patricianly poured the entirety of bag in.

Meanwhile the Major called halt on the last exercise and slowly controlled his breathing “This is the life, eh? Feel that fresh air getting into your lungs.” He then gave a spluttering cough. “Running the stop! Commence! One, two, three, four. Left, right. Left, right. Keep them at it Porter, I going to see how the supper getting along.” He ran, at the same pace to the camp cooks.

Vigil looked up “Oh? Here comes the Major poking his noise in.” The other turned while Zecora stirred the spuds, the undertaker continued with a small chuckled “Look at the old fool, he’s gone purple, if he keeps this up he’ll burst a blood vessel.”

Major Fields came up and continued running on the spot “How’s the vegetable stew coming along?”

Waddle answered, “Ready in about half an hour sir, we’ve just put the potatoes on.”

“Good, good. I hope there’s enough to go around, we’re all starving.”

Vigil smirked “It’s a good thing we not having to rely on hedgehogs. I haven’t seen one at all.”

“Alright Vigil alright. Just carry on cooking.” The Major then returned to the platoon “Right, halt!”, every-pony stopped and stood exhausted, some looked ready to collapse. The Major carried on “Deep breath in.”

Porter then looked up to the road “Excuse me sir?”

“Yes Porter?”

“The Mail Coach is coming up the road.”

The Major turned around and frowned.

Indeed, the purple wooden coach came trundling up the road. Naturally with Cipher and Riolu on the roof seat, but also Fluttershy, Miss Cheerilee and Big Mac.

The Major’s brow wrinkled “What are they doing here? Come with me Porter.”

“Yes sir.” And the two ran to the Mail Coach as it stopped. The quintet of four ponies and a Jakhowl got down from the roof and the Major barked at them “Turn back at once, we’re camping here.”

Miss Cheerilee scowled “And so are we. We have as much right as you.”

Porter cleared his throat “Does seem a little odd, four grown ponies camping together.”

Cipher, Fluttershy and Big Mac all blushed slightly while Cheerilee continued “It’s not just us. We’ve brought a number of my class for a camping trip.”

“You what?” Major Fields blustered out.

From one of the windows First Base, followed by the CMC stuck their heads out. From the other came the heads of Rumble, Button Mash, Tender Tap and Pipsqueak, finally in the spare space came a blue filly, an Earth Pony called Archer.

The Major turned back to Cheerilee “Now look here Miss Cheerilee, I’m in command of a bunch of highly trained ponies on active service. How can I be expected to maintain discipline with a bunch of foals mucking about all over the place?”

Miss Cheerilee scowled again “For your information Major, my students don’t muck about all over the place, they are also very well behaved, and with First Base, the younger brother to your commanding officer may I remind you that’s sure to remain so. My mind if made up, this is a free country and we will camp whenever and wherever we feel like it.”

Big Mac nodded determinedly “Yep!”

She turned to Cipher and pointed to the free end on the field near a small forest “We’ll camp over there.”, the Changeling Prince nodded and fluttered up to the seat. He flicked the reins and the Mail Coach rolled passed the Home Guard while the three adult ponies followed.

Porter turned to the Major “What are we going to do now sir?”

“We’ll just have to deal with it. Best thing is to ignore them. Come on let’s go have our supper.” As they started walking back to their tents Porter started chuckling.

“What are you sniggering at?”

“A thought just occurred to me sir. If we had been having hedgehogs from supper and Miss Cheerilee decided to have hedgehogs for supper as well. Well, there wouldn’t be any of them left for them because we’d have eaten them all.”

The Major just looked at him and blinked. Then he rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Steel dropped his spoon onto his plate “That was a very nice veg stew, very tasty, very sweet.”

The Major swallowed before commenting “It seems a bit salty to me.”

Porter looked up at the sky “It really is a most beautiful evening.”, Major Fields nodded “Yes. Pity about the foals, here we are, a bunch of comrades camping out under the stars and all spoilt by those kids swarming about all over the place.”

“Right Pipsqueak.” Cheerilee called out “Get every-pony out.”

The platoon turned to see the teacher and her diminutive Trottingham student dressed in stereotypical pirate costumes. Said colt saluted “Aye Captain!” He ran to the foal’s tent and ordered “All hooves on deck!”

The Major frowned in annoyance “Now what are they up to?”

The foals assembled out the tent all in pirate costumes, complete with wooden swords.

Waddle smiled “Oh look. They’re going to play pirates. How nice.”

Cheerilee gave the order “Out to the water and host the Jolly Roger!”, the foals cheered as they all went to the raft, made from planks and barrels and dressed up to look like a pirate galleon.

The Major shook his head “This is absurd.”

From the tent parked next to the Mail Coach, Cipher and Fluttershy walked out. The Changeling walked up to the Major “How’s everything is evening?”

Major Fields scowled “You’ve done this deliberately, haven’t you Cipher? You brought those foals all this way to upset my camp.”

Cipher scowled himself “For what reason would I want to upset your camp Major? You and Sergeant Porter have been great help to me, you were the first to welcome me to Ponyville, not to mention my tuba lesson, and me and Riolu help recover your collection of tin soldiers. Miss Cheerilee hired out the Mail Coach and I thought,” he said leaning into Fluttershy “why don’t I spend the weekend with my fiancée.”

They paused as Big Mac helped push the raft off the bank and the foals started sing Drunken Sailor as they began rowing the raft up stream. The Apple Stallion then went to join the others.

The Major returned to Cipher and Fluttershy “This is just a waste of time. Miss Cheerilee is meant to teach those foals, thus allowing them to contribute to the society of the Everfree Kingdom.”

Big Mac cleared his throat “Actually Major, this is to help the Kingdom.”

“How so?”

“Their rehearsing for next Saturday. They’re going to take the raft down to the town to collect bits for Twilight’s special project.”

Porter raised an eyebrow “What is this special project the Princess is making?”

“Um,” Fluttershy whispered, “it’s a secret until Twilight’s ready to say.”

The Major sighed and order “Just ignore the foals every-pony.”

Vigil stood guard by the Three T. Being a Bat Pony she often served as a night guard.

Usually, she simply patrolled the sleepy little town she called home, but tonight. Her more sensitive hearing meant she heard every snore from all thirty of the platoon. It tried her patience, a definite understatement. They sounded as bad as the engine of the Three T.

A weird buzzing filled the air. As Vigil took note of it, she found herself to not be alone in the discovery.

Cipher came running from his tent looking very worried and angry “Do you here that?”

“Yeah? What is it?”

“Changelings wings.”, Vigil turned to him “Night flying Changelings? You don’t think?”

“What else?”, the Bat Pony nodded and went to the tent nearest to her, the Major and Porter’s and whispered “Major? Major!”, with no response she processed to kick the tent. The Major crawled out of his side of the tent, followed by Porter, the commanding officer frowned at her and glanced to Cipher “Vigil? Cipher? What in Equestria do you think you’re…

“Major listen!” she softly yelled. The two officers paused heard the buzzing “What in Luna’s name is that?”

Cipher whispered, “Changelings flying close by.” He paused and turned slightly “And it sounds like their coming this way.”, the four of them stopped and gazed into the moonlight sky.

Vigil’s hoof went to the Major’s shoulder and she pointed with her wing “There they are Major!”

Three silhouettes passed the stars, they carried something. The Major glanced to Cipher “They Reformed Cipher?”

The Changeling Prince shook his head and scowled “Look at the holes in their legs. There under Her Tragedy’s hoof. And their wing buzzing gives off an off notes sound, their enemy alright. And it looks like their doing a robbery.”

Vigil narrowed her eyes “Doesn’t look like they’ll go far. One of them looks hurt.”

Indeed, one of the three struggled to fly, one wing kept stopping and stuttering in its attempt to keep its owner aloft, it appeared broken.

The Major hummed “There’s nothing we can do about them. We’ll get Doctor Time Turner to set up his radio and send a message in the morning. For now, let’s go back to sleep.”, they nodded, Cipher and Porter returned to their tents while Major Fields looked to the Bat Pony mare “Well done Vigil.”

She smirked “Thank you sir.”, and the Major went back to bed.

Vigil stayed awake until dawn.

Morning came.

The Major got out of his tent ready for a cold towel wash. As he put his cap on, he heard movement for the foal’s tent and turned around.

First Base, his mane a little messy stepped out onto the field with a small brass bugle on his back.

The Major blinked walked over “Are you going to sound a Reveille Master First Base?”

The colt nodded “I joked with Flash about it when Dad mentioned it. I started practicing in my spare time.”

“So, is this your first proper Reveille?”, he nodded “I’m a bit nervous.”, the Major chuckled “I’ve known a few young bands-pony who’ve said such things, most turned out decently.”

“Yeah, but am I most?”

“Only one way to find out.”

First gulped. He took the brass horn in his hoof and pressed it to his lips.

The Major held his ears.

First finished and turned unsurely. The Major cleared his throat “Not the worst I’ve heard, at least you played every note. But, I would stick to sports if I were you First.”

The colt gave a sad smiled and walked a back into the tent.

Major Fields meanwhile, stretched the crick in his neck out in a series of clinks. He looked out at the slow water of the river and paused.

A black shape floated on the surface.

He took out a pair of binoculars from the Three T and went for a better look at the object. His eyes widened at what he saw and he shouted at the top of his voice “TURN OUT! TURN OUT THE GUARD!” He pulled his tunic on and added “Crossbows and spears at the ready!”

The platoon and the, uninvited guest campers, all rushed out of their tents.

Porter came rushing to his side and gave the Major is katana “What in Equestria is the matter sir?”, the Major pointed to the object in the water and gave him the binoculars. The Sergeant took them and blinked “Are those the…”

“I suspect so.” The Major glanced to the rest of the Platoon and explained about the recon last night “…They must have been carrying that rubber dingy.” He glanced to a wide-eyed Time Turner and a grim-faced Cipher “Doctor Turner, get you radio working and get a message to the Royal Guard.”

“Yes sir.” And he ran to the Three T.

Cold Steel started jumping about “There’s enemy Changelings on the water! Don’t Panic! Don’t Panic! Don’t Panic!” He fiddled with is half dressed tunic and his spear at the same time “We need to capture them sir!”

The Major nodded “You’re right Steel.”

Porter glanced at Steel then to the Major “I don’t think even you can walk on the water, can you sir?”

“Of course not. Porter use a volume spell and order them in.”, the Steward nodded and charged his horn, her then shouted out, the spell increasing it further “Attention Changelings, you are ordered to surrender. Come to the shore immediately.”

The trio remained still.

Vigil pointed this out “They’re not taking a blind bit of notice.”

Next to him, Waddle looked worried “Oh dear. You don’t think they’re dead?”

“Of course not.” Vigil growled “They’re sitting upright.”

Porter looked to the Major “Why bother with them sir? Why not just let them sit out there and wait? They’ll have to come in sooner or later.”, Major Fields looked at him “Use your intelligence Porter. As soon as it’s dark they can slip ashore and we’d have to comb the entire countryside for them.” He paused and tutted “Alright, they’ve asked for it.” He called over the Cheerilee “Get the foal away Miss Cheerilee, there’s going to be some shooting!”

Cheerilee’s eyes widened and she, Big Mac and Fluttershy rushed the foals and Riolu into the trees. Big Mac then joined the platoon as stood next to Cipher. “Might need extra strength.”

The Major nodded “Good fellow.” He glanced to Porter “You’re the best shot. Fire a shot over their heads.”

“Right sir.” Porter levitated his crossbow pistol and fired.

The arrow sailed over them, nearly grazing the horn of one of the trio. Even still, they remained motionless. Porter blinked “You’ve got to admire their courage sir.”

The Major glanced at him “Let’s not hear any of that sort of talk Porter, their just stupid, any of Chrysalis’s Changelings are.”

Caramel stepped up beside him “If we can’t get them to come to us, why don’t we go out to them? We could use the foal’s pirate raft and make them surrender.”

The Major smiled “That’s good thinking Caramel. Vigil, Padre, Zecora, you stay on the shore, the rest of number one section with me and Sergeant Porter.”

Cipher ran up with them “For all we know sir, they could be from a new hatching. They might not know Equestrian; her Tragedy might have limited their lives further by not teaching them.”

The Major hummed unsure “That would explain why they didn’t react to Porter’s orders, but how then are we going to communicate with them?”

Cipher cleared his throat and pointed to himself “I’ll come aboard sir, I can definitely speak their language.”, the Major nodded cautiously and the group scurried onto the raft.

Porter then asked “What happens if they’re armed sir? Two of them have horns they might know magic attacks!”

“We’ve got overwhelming firepower Porter, we can puncture they’re dingy.”

Cipher nodded “No Changeling I know can swim, it a problem with become insect like.”

On the banks Vigil glanced to Waddle “They’re headed for disaster, sheer disaster.”

Lucky Clover and Steel took hold of the oars as Big Mac pushed them boat from the shore. The Major looked to Porter and Caramel as he took the tiller for the rudder “Keep them covered.”, they nodded. Cipher stood between them, thus at the head of the raft, he made himself tall and proud befitting his title.

Porter frowned “I don’t know what’s the matter with them sir, they seem to be taking no notice of anything.”

The Major nodded “I’ve never seen such surly looking brutes. Cipher tell them to surrender in the name of the Princesses…”

“And King Thorax.”

“Yes, and him.”

Cipher nodded and started making a series of buzzing and clicks.

The trio of Changelings raised their forelegs up.

The Major nodded “Now tell them to come in.”, Cipher started up again with the Changeling talk.

On the banks Reverend Waddle looked to Fluttershy “What’s your fiancé saying?”

“He’s simply telling them to come in.”

Vigil with the binoculars “They’re still not taking a blind bit of notice. They just sit with their hooves up.”

Cipher tried again to no avail.

The Major grumbled “If there’s one thing I can’t stand its sulking opponents.”

Lucky looked up “Why can’t we just shot the dingy?”

“We can’t now Clover, we can’t fire at ponies with their hooves up and they know it. This is the penalty for being a sporting nation.”

“It’s really quite simple sir.” Porter said, “All we have to do is to attach a rope to the dingy and tow it to the shore.”

The Major nodded “Well done Porter, good to have ponies with initiative. Clover tie that end of the mooring rope to the raft. When we get near enough I want some-pony to tie the other end to the dingy.”

Cipher took hold of it “I’ll do it Major. Kind of my duty as a Changeling Prince to help those of my people in need, whether they like it or not.”

“Right, forward!”, Lucky returned to the oars and he and Steel made a fast and steady rowing session. Cipher climbed onto the bow.

As he came close the trio pulled out their own oar and rowed away. Cipher fell in.

On the shore Fluttershy screamed “NO! He’s going to drown!”

Riolu growled. His paws fisted. Aura covered him. Before any-pony could react, he ran like shot to the water. Jumped. Summersaulted. Dived down in between his splashing and gasping owner and the rouge Changelings. A yellow light glowed.

The water exploded!

Changelings, both Chrysalis and Reformed flew and landed on the shore.

Immediately ponies went to them. Fluttershy went to Cipher side. And the entirety of the platoon went to surround the trio of rouge Changelings with their spears and crossbows.

The Major and the other returned to the shore. Porter glanced at his superior “What a way to end this camp sir.”

“Yes, I never expected anything like this. Now we wait for a proper detachment of Royal Guards to come and collect them.”

Riolu emerged from the water and ran to hug Cipher. The drenched Prince Changeling smirked and rubbed the Jakhowl’s head “I’m definitely getting you a new bone.”, Fluttershy giggled and hugged him “Thank you for saving Cipher.” She rubbed her noise with his. The Jakhowl barked with a dreamy expression before licking both Cipher and Fluttershy.

The Major turned to Porter “That hound’s abilities are getting, interesting. We may have to be careful in future, Riolu’s but a pup, what will happen when he’s fully grown?”

“I really have no idea sir. But don’t you think you’re being a little foolish with your suggestion?”

“Maybe, but an officer has to prepare for every possible outcome. And right now, that Jakhowl is an anomaly.”

Riolu broke off from the engaged couple and walked up to the Major. He gave what could be describe as a salute, to which Porter chuckled, before collapsing.

As Cipher and Fluttershy, smiling, pick the pup up and took him to the tents, Porter chuckled again “I think whatever you’re think sir, is a long way away from happening.”

Major Fields chuckled too.

An Audience With Screaming Lord Sutch

The oddities of the Everfree Forest and Hogwash’s Arcane Academy joined forces in the form of an escaped magical creature made in an accident involving genetic experiments and alchemical materials. Call a Raptorian, with a doglike head and a birdlike body it could also manipulate glass, not in the simple way of glassblowing of North Sentry, Flash’s father, and his profession, but able use it in all kinds of ways, even eat the stuff and not be harmed by it.

A former professor of the school, a Unicorn by the name of Limp Newt, came to try and wrangle it, problem being true to his name his right foreleg made him limp.

This coincided with Spike suddenly needing to go to the Dragon Lands. The upshot being he finally entered the growth phase for a dragon. Resulting in him gaining wings. He returned looking a lot thinner and as tall as a pony, he could look Twilight at eye level.

Newt’s magical equipment he brought in his suitcase started going off and so did both the Raptorian, calling himself Schrock, and sudden growth spurts from Spike.

Apparently, Dragons need magic to hatch eggs. Dragon Fire has a small trace of inherent magic within it, hence how Spike can send a receive messages via his fire. But Twilight’s magic, already powerful, and, at the time, uncontrollable when she hatched Spike for her entrance exam, it caused an unusual reaction in Spike’s development, just like in the entrance it meant Spike would develop, virtually all at once, and quickly.

In the matter of a day or so Spike went from being a below average height teenage Dragon to becoming a full-sized adult Dragon, without going into a greed fuelled monster rampage.

Thanks to his tough scales and long prehensile tail he managed to capture Schrock and Newt trapped the Raptorian in his suitcase.

So now Ponyville needed to get used to having a fully grown, but familiar and still friendly Spike. Thankfully enough the Castle doors were wide enough for Spike to get into and out. Even his bedroom changed to accommodate his new form.

Professor Newt theorised since the Castle is tied to the Tree of Harmony it wished to cut out as much trouble as possible to maintain harmony.

Still Ponyville having become accustom to oddities in the last couple of years quickly accepted the new Spike.

Now, Prince Blueblood, who among his many patronages included the arts and entertainments, after seeing Sutch’s Hearth’s Warming showing at the Ponyville Theatre managed to book him for a show in Canterlot’s Lyceum West Theatre, and after pulling a few strings he managed to make it An Audience With, a rare performance before celebrities from all over Equestria, nobles, entertainer and national heroes all invited, as well as good friends of the host himself.

The guest list included the royal family, all of them. The Grand Duke of the Griffish Isles, the Duke and Duchess of Maretonia, the Prince and Princess of Saddle Arabia. Fancy Pants and Fleur Dis Lee, Sapphire Saddles, Coloratura and many more famous names in Equestria.

The weather for the evening’s performance went from sunshine to rain.

In his dressing room Sutch adjusted the buttons on his tailcoat and sighed, then gulped. ‘Hope the weather’s not an omen or something.’

A knock came from the door, “It’s open, can’t shut the dang thing.”

It opened and Applejack walked in “How are you holding up Sutch?”

“Nervous, but every-pony was so kind, they couldn’t do enough, for me, so they didn’t bother.”

Applejack chuckled “You’ll be alright, even offstage you’re a riot.”

“Let’s hope I don’t cause one.” He glanced at his mirror with the lights around it “I’m really hitting the big time, ain’t I.”

“Yeah, just don’t let it go to your head.”

“If it did I might burst.”

A stage-hoof appeared at the door “Fifteen minutes Mr Sutch.”

“Thanks.”, Applejack nodded “I’d better stake my seat with the girls. Good luck Sutch.”

“Thanks AJ.” His hoof ran through his mane.

Applejack climb up to her place below Twilight and the Royal Family and the nobles, beside her many of the celebrities. She looked at the stage. Sutch’s cutie mark all over the setup, black, yellow and white colours in a theme of an old fashion theatre.

The speakers came on and an announcer spoke “Ladies and Gentle-colts, please welcome for the first time on Canterlot stage, Screaming Lord Sutch!”

The band started playing his theme music. And the audience erupted into cheers.

The curtains opened, revealing a wicker basket with a drum next to it.

Sutch walked on stage, he started to speak into the microphone, but the band and the audience continued, he reared up and waved his forelegs about before shouting “CHUCK IT!”

Every-pony stopped.

Sutch then tip his hat to several audience members in the audience “Your Majesty, Your Royal Highness, Your Highnesses, Your Graces,” he then turned to a random stallion in the front row “My Lord Mayor.”, he turned to a mare on the opposite side of the stage “Lady Mayoress.”

A few laughed.

Sutch continued “Alder-pony Tickle, Gladys from the chip shop.”, more laughs, “Manager of the Municipal Waste Disposal…” he sniffed and turned “Mind you.”

He readdressed the audience in full “First Fillies and Gentle-colts, let me just say how honoured I am to be he tonight at An Audience With LWT. LWT, a Long Wait for a Titter.”, a loud laugh filled the room.

“I watched you coming in you know. I peeped through the curtain, seeing you staggering in along the South Bank, and I thought to myself ‘What a challenge!’,” more laughs and Sutch continued “I’ve seen happier looking Bloodhounds. You know, I think it would be good idea if all the ugly ones came down and sat near the front.” He paused and looked about the front rows “You have good.” A good number, including on the front row burst out laughing and few clapped.

“As a special concession, all those with big ears were allowed in at half-price.” He looked at a random stallion and smiled “Congratulations sir.” He addressed the entire audience again “You know I’ve been looking forward to this all day today. That must give you an idea of the sort of life I live.”, a few titters, “Five O’clock this morning in Buckminster I flung the bedroom windows open, climbed in,”, a few louder laughs.

“You know every-pony, this theatre’s all being computerised, yes, we’ve all gone technological,” he went crossed eyed, which got a few chuckles, “Yes, all your statistics and personal details are noted in this computer, when you came in, I’ll just get the read out,” he walked over the end of the stage and brought back a clip broad “When you came in this evening you walked through a security screen,” he looked to a mare “oh yes, you passed through the screen? Did you feel a tingle Mrs?”, a number chuckled, “It should have gone right to your corsets.”, more laughs, “You did? Well come and see me after the show, I’ll make sure you’re properly earthed.” Almost every-pony laughed, Applejack among the loudest.

Sutch looked at the clip board “Here are all the statistics of our audience here at LWT. Somewhere in the audience we have seven bricklayers, six carpet fitters, two taxi drivers and a double-glazing sales-pony,” he pointed at a stallion in the far corner “They he over there talking to himself.”

Every-pony burst out laugh and clapped.

“Now, every-pony are wearing badges with barcodes, those little patterns you see stuck on packets of frozen sprouts.” He paused and looked at a mare in the front row, and sniffed “Yes,” the audience laughed and Sutch smiled embarrassed “I’m sorry looked at you their Fleur.”, another burst of laughter.

“Now, what,” Sutch laughed himself and looked about “what does you barcode tell me about,” he pointed to a random stallion “You sir.” He looked at the clip board “It tells me you take a size ten in hats, you have a bunion on you left back hoof and Cocker Spaniel called Eric.”, the stallion himself laughed “Your hobbies include writing rude words on steamed up windows and taking your horse-shoes off in crowded lifts. It was your birthday last week and your friends clubbed together and bought you an old-fashioned bed warmer, a sixty-eight-year-old chorus girl.”

The audience laughed.

Sutch threw the clip board away “Are you all in a good mood?”

“Yes!” every-pony shouted.

“Then what have you been doing?”, the audience laughed again, “But on a serious note, I need the loyal oath, hooves on heart every-pony, yes, your own heart sir.”, a few chuckled, “Every-pony repeat after me. We the audience.”

“We the audience.”

“At LWT.”

“Solemnly swear.”

“Flipping heck.”, as every-pony repeated a number laughed.

“That we will never ever, ever.”

“Repeat or reveal.”

“Repeat of reveal.”

“Any of the jokes Screaming Lord Sutch might tell us.”, more laughs went through, but in fact a number still repeated it, as they applauded Sutch called out “Oh come on please.” He chuckled.

After the clapping died Sutch reared up and held his hooves out in awe at the audience “What a line-up of guest, the last time I saw so many stars, I banged me head on a mangle.”, a number laughed, “Folks our first star question tonight comes from the lovely Countess Coloratura, a singer on many parts, all of them in beautiful condition.”

A number laughed and Coloratura, or Rara, who sat next to Applejack raised her hoof “I’m here, Sutch, I would like to ask if you come from a show business background. Were you a funny child.”

“Well,”, he paused as a good number chuckled at her wording, Sutch cleared his throat “I do come from a performing family. As my outfit should show I’m a Pearly Prince of Buckminster.” He twirled around to show his tailcoat.

Some-pony in the audience whistled.

“The Pearlies, perform for charity, in fact Fillies and Gentle-colts, as per my policy seventy-five percent of the money I get from this performance will go to charity.”

Princess Celestia started clapping her hooves and soon every-pony followed.

Sutch nodded his thanks before sniffing “As for my childhood, when I was, I’m going to say something now, Fillies and Gentle-colts, that, you’re going to be flabbergasted, you will, you’ll say ‘My, my, we can hardly believe that.’,” he paused at the load chuckles, “I, I wasn’t a pretty baby.”

The theatre rocked with laugher, he frowned and repeated “My, my…”, one stallion on the front row repeated it and Sutch addressed him “Oh come on, be a bit more convincing, will you?”, more laughs.

Sutch shook his head “I was plain, I had embroidered on me bib ‘This way up.’,”, every-pony laughed and went into a collective sad “aww” at the imagery, “I was the only baby on our street who’s dummy had a twelve-inch flange. Me Father put shutters on me pram. He knew I’d be a comedian, when I was a baby he said, ‘Is this a joke?’. I was a bottle baby, then one day I pushed the cock out and escaped. You know, I could walk when I was six months old, and me Granny opened the door and said, ‘Go on hop it.’. When they took me out of me pram ponies used to folk for miles, they thought I was a mobile Punch and Judy show.” He looked back to Rara “And that’s how I started in show business. I performed in The Desert Song, I was second hump on a camel.”, a number of the stage-ponies laughed “I was in Upstairs, Downstairs, only whenever the set for the upstairs was in the limelight, I was in the downstairs set and vice-a-versa. At the age of eight I had my own flee circus, until me Mum stopped me playing with the lad next door.”

As the laugher died down Sutch spoke up “I’m ready for another question, over here we have the distinguished actor of the stage for many years, Mr Lightning Fox, can I be Blunt, oh no, sorry that was you.”

Lightning chuckled “Mr Sutch, I’ve read your ambition is to perform on every stage in Equestria, do you have a favourite theatre?”

“Yes, I do, all theatre, like you yourself must know, all theatres are beautiful. This the Opera House is one of the Temples of Show Business. In Trottingham we have the Palladium, and there are great theatres in the Griffish Isles” he readdressed the audience "Is there any-pony from Griffish Isle?”

A number answered.

“Any-pony from Trottingham?”, a small number answered, Sutch smiled “Well, you’ll recognised tripe when you hear it.”, every-pony laughed.

“This is an educational show you know, when you walk out of here you’ll say, ‘Well that’s taught me a lesson’.”, another theatre wide laugh.

“I’ll tell you something you may not know. Did you know that a dog’s whistle is so high it’s impossible for the equine ear to hear it?” He looked to Applejack “Your dog is probably at home in the kitchen whistling his head off.”, of course Sutch knew Winona to be a female dog, but he didn’t want every-pony to know about their relationship, at Applejack request.

Sutch continued “And you’re just sitting here at LWT laughing hysterically.” He paused “Slightly. I bet when you get home tonight your dog will still be in the kitchen and it’ll say, ‘You know I’ve been whistle me head off?’, and you won’t take a blind bit of notice. Well, anyway the door was bolted and there it is.” As the audience laughed he glanced to Rarity “What’s that? You’re not bothered because you’ve got a cat flap. Do you mean personally or at home?”, Rarity and Moonlight laughed.

“The reason why I collect all this useless, wonderful information is because knowledge is power. What is knowledge?”

“Power!”

“Have you got the knowledge?”

“Yes.”

“Then you’ve got the power, isn’t it wonderful to be in control.”, he paused at the reasonably silence and looked at this microphone, then to the backstage “This thing isn’t working again.”, the audience laughed once more.

“What a wonderful atmosphere here tonight.” He took a deep breath with his noise “Just like a clinic!”, more laughs “Friends! Because I think I can call you that,” he looked away “Not for much longer.”, every-pony chuckled.

“That’s what we professional humourist call ‘A shaft of whit.’,” he turned to a stallion in the audience and pointed “Well that’s something similar sir. I’m ready for another question, here tonight we have Equestria’s Great Magician, making a rare appearance since retirement, the Great Hoofdini,” the old Unicorn stallion smiled and nodded as the audience greatly applauded, Sutch continued “He’s currently working on his most spectacular and difficult illusion, how to make the Great and Powerful Trixie disappear.”, the Mane Six and many Ponyville residence in the audience burst out laughing. Hoofdini start clapping and a number some followed.

“Hoof, amazing me with your question.”

Still laughing the great magician asked, “What’s that old basket doing on stage?”

“I’m trying to get laughs.” As the audience laughed again he walked over to the basket “This here is a prop basket, you were probably born in one of these Hoof.”, Hoofdini laughed.

“This is full of props, all Comedians love props. It goes back to the days of the Jesters, they were the fools of the Middle Ages, as opposed to a middle-aged fool. They had a fool’s licences, which meant he could do virtually anything, the record of King Bullion says his fools would hit him and his knights on the head with his bladder,” he paused as few laughed “and it was very funny if he’d been on the lager the night before.”

He then pulled out a stick, consisting of two wooden boards joined by a hinge at one end. “This is a Slapstick.” He banged it on his rump and it made a loud noise “This is where the term comes from.” He put it back into the basket and brought out another “Here we have the red-hot poker,” he dropped it back “We won’t bother with that.”, this got greeted with laughs.

He then went to the drum, the word ‘The Great Drum of Buckminster’, written on the skin “This is my favourite prop,” he started banging it “Silent Night, Silent… Softly, softly…” he paused “Oh, I love a drum, you can’t beat them. I go everywhere with my drum, it great in an, in an,” he deliberately started stumbling “in an emergency, supposing you find yourself in a strange hotel, I know I found one, it’s the middle of night, pitch black, you can’t see your clock, well, stick your drum out and start banging,” he demonstrated “Some-pony always shout out ‘How the heck’s playing a drum at half-past three in the morning!’.”

Princess Luna burst out laughing his time and soon every-pony applauded.

Sutch went back to the microphone and spoke “We have a very glamourous mare this evening, gorgeous filly, who you can defiantly count on, well, up to two anyway. Miss Fleur Dis Lee.”, the audience, Fancy Pants most of all applauded.

The model smiled “My friend in Trottingham have spoken of you Sutch.”

“Oh?” he said raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing terrible, they call you an honorary professor of Gelotology, which is the study of laughter, so I’d like to know, what is a laugh?”

Sutch nodded impressed “A laugh Fleur? Anatomically speaking,” he pointed to his abdomen “It starts here in the middle of your diagram,” a few chuckles “it passes up your clack and out you titter valve, it like an attack of wind. A laugh is a noise that comes out of a hole in your face.” He laughed himself “Anywhere else you’re in dead trouble.”, every-pony burst out laughing, “People laugh at different thing, some mares laugh at little things, it’s pity really.” He looked away slightly as the laughs came “For thousands of years philosophers have tried to find the essence of laughter.

“I think Fillies and Gentle-colts, there is a rainbow of laugher, at the top is white laughter of pure joy, you can here that anytime you like, just pass any school playground and you see the foals leaping, running, jumping and laughing for the sheer joy of being alive.”, the audience went “aww” at this thought.

Twilight leaned into Flash and her hoof rubbed across of baby bump.

“Then you work your way through the colours, red laugher, orange laughter,”, he glanced to Celestia’s mane “pink laughter, yellow laughter, green laughter, blue laughter,” his face flew slightly “and right at the bottom is the very dark colours of sarcasm, insult and satire.” He brightened up “A sense of humour in really finding the funny side of life. People do say ‘A funny thing happened to me on the way to the theatre…’,

“A stage manager once told me a story. He had this great idea for a play called Page Three Fillies.,” he looked at Fleur “it was really an excuse to get glamour models to take their clothes off. I was in the Ducal Theatre in Soho, the entertainment,” he looked about and leaned into the micro and whispered “including a certain type, the entertainment district of Buckminster. You used to have street fights in Soho all the time you know, they don’t call them that now, they’ve been renamed ‘Pavement Debates’.

“The opening night of Page Three Fillies, the Ducal Theatre was packed,” he chuckled “the light came down in the auditorium, complete black out, and from the back a little, pin focus, I think that’s what it’s called, a pin focus light hit the front of the stage, the currents parted and out stepped this beautiful mare, not a stich on her, perfect figure, as naked as the day she was born. She went up to the mic and said, ‘Fillies and Gentle-colts, may I please have your attention?’.”, Fleur and a lot of the mares started laughing before every-pony started clapping.

“And you know, one thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of comedians tends to be stallions, why? Mares can be funny too, only a mare would think of going to bed with a mud pack on her face, her mane in curlers and say, ‘Where’s all the passion gone?’.”

As the audience laughed Moonlight slightly glanced at Rarity, she pretended to pout and nudged him.

“And you know, there exist different senses of humour, I can tell a joke in Ponyville, and they won’t laugh in Griffonstone. They can’t hear it.”, the audience again burst out laughing and clapped.

“In the audience, I see my old friend, the chair-stallion of the Official Monster Raving Looney Party, I don’t know whether I should ask him a question as he’s so shy and humble,”

Said friend and Party Member, dressed in white with a stovepipe hat, laughed loudly and hysterically.

Sutch introduced him “Fillies and Gentle-colts, Howling Laud Hope!”, the audience cheered.

Hope spoke “Well, Sutchy, we’re both politically minded, and we’re both mad enough,” the audience chuckled, “if we did make it to Parliament, would you be the Prime Minister?”

“Well, Hope, we’ve both go brilliant minds,”, as the audience laughed Hope turned to them and called back “He’s right!”, before laughing again.

“Not Prime Minister, if I could the job I’d fancy is Chancellor of the Exchequer,” the audience laughed loudly again and Sutch reasoned “At least I’d be reunited with me money.”

Celestia, Luna and Cadance all laughed and they initiated the applauds.

“Now, I’m going to ask another question, from another great actor from the great Trottingham drama Upstairs Downstairs, Mr Wintergreen.”

“Sutch, every week I have to learn a new, script…”

“That’s what they’re called.”

“I have to learn it in the matter of few days. How do you remember all your jokes?”

“Good question, I tend to use something called the ‘Roll Up’ technique, where you try for as many jokes as possible, I try on a roll for seven TPM, Titters Per Minute.” He addressed the audience “I’ll give you all an idea. I went to the doctor’s last week, nothing wrong, just to make sure they hadn’t crossed me off. Cause they won’t come out and visit you in Trottingham anymore, you can be sick as a hoof-baller, I was going to play for Buckminster, but I could spit far enough.

“I asked the receptionist could the Doctor come a visit me? She said ‘Visit? You must have lost your conkers, you can have an appointment at a quarter to six, three weeks next Tuesday.’, I said I could be dead by then, and she replied, ‘Well if you do please get some-pony to call in a cancel the appointment.”, the audience burst out laughing.

“I went into the insulting room and the doctor asked me ‘Are you paying or shall I hurt you?’

“I said, No, no, I’m paying.

“He said, ‘Alright take all your clothes off.’

“So, I did, he went into the next room for laugh, he then came back, looked at me and said, ‘You’ll have to diet.’

“I said, What colour?

“‘No, no,’ he said and then he asked, ‘Do you have any difficulty passing water?’

“I replied, Well, whenever I go over a bridge I get a bit dizzy. He asked, ‘Do you have vertigo?’

“Oh no, we only live around the corner

“‘They you must eat for fibre.’

“What do you think I am, I replied, A moth?

“People can do some terrible things you know, that’s a feller down our way who’s had four wooden legs, making a coffee table.

“After me came this little old mare and she asked, ‘Doctor? Can I have some more sleeping pills for me husband?’

“He asked, ‘Why?’

“And she replied, ‘He’s just woken up.’

“The doctor said, ‘I don’t like giving sleeping pills constantly, can’t he do it nature’s way? Organically?’

“‘Oh no, he can’t play the organ.’

“‘No, how about instead you treat him to a little tot of something to drink.

“‘He does that already. Before he goes to bed he always has eight whiskeys, four gins, two vodkas, a large brandy a martini and an egg-flip.’

“Then he asked, ‘And he can’t sleep?’

“‘No,’ she replied, ‘He’s up all night singing.’”, Luna burst out laughing again and many did the same with few claps.

He glanced at another mare “It’s me Mrs!” he chuckled “Omar Sharif.”

The Saddle Arabian royals laughed. Sutch reasoned “Well, I’ve often been mistake for his camel.”

“Can you hear me at the back?”

“Yes!” the back row called.

“That’s a funny place to have your ears.”

After the laughs faded he addressed the audience “Tonight his romantic night isn’t girls?”

“Yes!”

“All other Equestria, young frisky mares will be sitting up in bed going,” he made a nudging motion to his left “Harry?”, he then made a snoring noise, “Harry?”, he repeated the snore, “Alright,” he made a nudge to the right “Charlie?”

He glanced at Applejack and winked “I think of me-self as a Casanova, I’m a sex symbol for mares who don’t care.” He winked at a giggled Applejack, “I do keep fit. Every morning it’s up, down, up, down, then the other eyelid. I’d did twenty minutes running on the spot, I had me braces caught in the bannister. I bought one of them rowing machine, but it sank!”

He waited for the laughs to fade “I do it because I come from a long line of heroes you know. Me Uncle Sidney, he had a military bearing, which he used to juggle and make the foals laugh. Me Uncle Eustace deserted during the military two-step. And me Great-grandfather had a lot to do with the relief of Lady Smith, as a matter of fact she invited him back the following night.”, more laughs, “Although I can do a lot of villainous things too. At the end of the month I love to go down to the bottom of the garden, wait for the tortoise to get there, the turn it around the other way.”

Rainbow Dash burst out laughing and Fluttershy chuckled know she did “aww” and the misfortunate image.

“When it’s pouring with rain I love to ask police-stallions the time when their wearing their scooter-caps. I close me eyes in the middle of wedding photos. When I’m at home I deliberately leave the seat up. Half-past ten at night I love to get the dog’s lead from off the hook, and then don’t go out.

“After I’ve have me bath I often flex in front of the mirror,” he stuck a pose, several the mares chuckled, one even whistled, “I can be in there for hours, bragging, shouting downstairs, Gladys? Gladys! Come and have a look at this.” He paused and then shouted, “Hurry up!”, the audience burst out laughing and clapped. "I can't hold it much longer!"

“Right now, I just want you to imagine the equine body, nothing rude, just the equine body no clothing, why is it all the best parts have no bones? They’re enough bone in the equine body to last the average dog a fortnight. And you know dogs have a very sophisticated sense of smell, you wouldn’t think so with some of the things they sniff. Imagine if we had the same highly sensitive noses as a dog, a mare could stand at her front door a half-past five in the evening and go,” he sniffed “‘Hello, your Dad’s just got off the bus.’”

After a few chuckles, he continued “Health shops have now could this aroma therapy to help with illnesses, Rosemary is very good with headaches, or at least she was when I tried it. Castor Oil, very good for athletics, half a bottle of that and you don’t need starting blocks. Me Auntie Nelly, she went on Oil of Evening Primrose, she took it for a year, got eaten by a caterpillar.”

Fluttershy giggled among the sudden guffaws.

“Three in one oil, that’s very good for loosing nuts.” He glanced at Soarin “So watch what you’re doing there, sir.”, he paused as Soarin blushed and the other Wonderbolts howled with laughed, Rainbow Dash slapped him on the back.

Sutch went on, “I do have the occasional romantic moment. The other day a lovely young mare came to me and said, ‘Hello handsome, can you tell me the way to the opticians.’” He frowned at the laughs.

“I am a firm believer in safe sex, I’ve got a safety-rail around the bed.”, he then addressed the mares “Ladies you wouldn’t want one of those exotic lovers, would you?”

Many of the single mare answered “Yes.”

“You wouldn’t,” Sutch protested “too far away for the spare part for one thing.” He then looked about the audience “Do you hear that lads?”

“Yes.”

“These mares are getting a bit too bossy sometimes, aren’t they lads?”

“Yes.”

“Mares these days are getting a bit too pushy, aren’t they lads?”

“Yes!”

“Well we’re not going to put up with it much longer, are we?”

“No!”

“What are we going to do about it lads?”

Multiple, in audible responses fired back, Sutch frowned his eyebrows “Eh?” he looked at one stallion and repeated “Nothing?” he paused and he slowly glanced around “As long as you know the what the battle plan is.”

“All over the world romance is different, I’m sure in places like Saddle Arabia and Crystal Empire it’s quite the occasion, in the Griffish when a mare’s having a romantic interlude she looks up and says, ‘That cleaning needs doing.’”, the Mare burst into howls as Sutch continued “‘And what are you going to do about that shed? There are jobs need doing in this house, and have needed doing for some time. I’ll have to get a colt in.’”, as another bunch of laughs went through Sutch pointed to one “Mrs? Are you laughing at something I’ve said or something he’s done?” he said pointing to the stallion next to her, he paused and shook it head “I can’t take credit for another lad’s work.”

He turned to a mare in the audience “I’ll take a question from Princess Luna.”

The Princess of the Night nodded her thanks “I’d like to know Lord Sutch, how you stay topical with your jokes, do you use the newspapers?”

“Do I use the newspapers?”, Celestia laughed loudly as Luna blushed at her own wording. Sutch replied “We’re pretty primitive on the Griffish Isles, but not that unruly. I have had me voice trained, they put newspapers down it. And I can cover five octaves, I’ve had me legs stretched. There’s always new jokes Princess, people ask where the new jokes will come from, there are as many jokes as there ponies every day doing daft things, and we always do daft things, don’t we? Just keep your eyes open and your ears open and you’ll hear about things, a news item.” He glanced at Prince Blueblood and winked “Prince Blueblood was bitten by a dog on his way to the theatre tonight, but after being given injections and treatment for shock, the dog could go home.”, Prince Blueblood chuckled but shock his head as Flash and Shining Armour patted him on the back.

“The one I like best are the advertisement columns, ‘For sale, vaulting pole, slightly damaged but suitable to enthusiastic midget.’,” a few chuckles went through the theatre, “‘For sale, three hundred issues of Play-colt Magazine and assorted sex-toys. Would exchange for Zimmer Frame and orthopaedic bed.” Another round of chuckles.

“‘Personal column. ‘Short, squat, short temper, ugly, bald pensioner, wishes to meet tall, wealthy, beautiful blonde mare, with a view to warm passionate relationship, sense of humour essential.’”, droll laughs, “‘Personal column. ‘Bear. I think of you every night when I lie waiting for your touch. P.S. I’m on the other side of the bed. Your wife Doris.’”, the chuckles came slightly louder.

“When does a stallion know he’s growing old? His life is like a journey, down many streets, scrambling over ditches, climbing mountains, fording river, in search of, the truth. And one day, everything clicks, your neck, your back, knees, ankles.”, the audience guffawed, “When you full out of bed you should like a maraca solo, and your wife’s in the bathroom dancing. You get no sympathy if you’re ill, ‘You’re not going to off work, are you?’, a stallion must release he’s not as young as he was. In the autumn of your life you get tell-tale signs, you get out of breath playing chess, you’re wedding suit comes back into fashion, you need both front hooves to clean your teeth.” He reared up and pretend to brush a pair of dentures “You still chase after manes, but you can’t remember why! Your wife makes you wear dark trouser when you go out. When you do go out people help you onto the bus, just after you’ve gotten off the blasted thing!”

He addressed the mares “Ladies, you never grow old, do you?” He gazed into Applejack’s eyes “You look so beautiful tonight,” then looked to all the mare “and you always will you beautiful. You might realise your knocking on a bit because at Hearth’s Warming every-pony gives you lavender bath cubes, your family start taking you home early from parties.”

He looked out at the entire audience “You’ll never grow old Fillies and Gentle-colt, because you’ve all got such wonderful chuckle muscles, you’re all foals at heart. If you exercise your chuckle muscles every day, have a good laugh, or better still make some-pony else laugh, you’ll stay young, playful and health. If you don’t it dries up and drops off.

“But tonight, here we’ve heard the most beautiful sound in the world, the sound of laughter and happiness, forgot all you trouble. To finish Fillies and Gentle-colts, I just want to thank you all for being a wonderful audience! Give yourselves and round of applauds.”

Every-pony clapped.

“I wish you happiness, good health, and the time to enjoy it!” he turned to the band “Music maestro!”

They started his theme again, this time he sang the lyrics “Bring me sunshine, In your smile, Bring me laughter, All the while, In this world where we live, There should be more happiness, So much joy you can give, to each brand new bright tomorrow,

“Make me happy, through the years, Never bring me, any tears, Let your hooves be as warm, as the sun from up above! Bring me fun, Bring me Sunshine, Bring me Love!

“Bring me sunshine, In your smile, Bring me laughter, All the while, In this world where we live, There should be more happiness, So much joy you can give, to each brand new bright tomorrow,

“Make me happy, through the years, Never bring me, any tears, Let your hooves be as warm, as the sun from up above! Bring me fun, Bring me sunshine, Bring me love, sweet love,

“Bring me Fun, Bring me Sunshine, Bring me Love!”

He gave a kiss to the audience and backed away as the curtain fell. As soon as the curtain hid him away, Sutch smiled, sighed and collapsed onto his back, a stage-hoof helped him to his dressing room.

Applejack opened the door the dressing room and shut it quickly “You should see the line outside!”

“I’d rather not.”

“They all want to talk to you Sutch.”, he turned to her and smiled “You’re the only one I want to talk to.”, she smiled and kissed him on the cheek “You think it went well?”

“I can tell you all love it.”

“Well we were laughing our heads off.”

“Not only that, you had a cloud forming over you.”

“Say what?”

“A cloud! Honesty,” he started chuckling “steam coming off the audience!”

“Tarnation!”, a banging from the door sound and they both glanced at it, Sutch sighed “You’d better go, I’ll meet up with you as soon as I can. After that just a quiet night.”

“You bet.” She kissed him on the cheek again and smiling walk out the door.

Author's Note

The opening summarise was the original idea for Chapter 40, but I could make it work.

This chapter is a tribute to Sir Ken Dodd OBE, my favourite entertainer. Who, at time of writing his 89 years old and still active, all be it slower then in his younger days. Look him up and Youtube and you should have a great time.

Although Sutch's theme music is actually a small nod to Morecombe and Wize, Britain's greatest Double Act.

I may take a break from the EK as, first I have plans to rework the adandoned FanFiction story I mentioned earlier as it won't leave my head, and secondly the next chapter of this story might very well become the longest of the story, and quite possibly the longest chapter I've ever written.

Until next time.

The Faith Chasing Changeling

The Weather-Ponies arranged for a wild and windy week across the Everfree Kingdom. Princess Twilight advised ponies to stay indoors unless necessary. A lot of branches feel from the trees, Sweet Apple Arches tarpaulined as many trees in the orchard as possible. Dustbins tipped and slipped. And in Huntersfield several houses need retiling, and a lot of the citizenry did not wish to wait, which meant Time Turner needed to hire help, and not just from the Guard to keep him safe in the unpredictability of the weather, but also just any-pony able to do roofing, since no sooner did he finish one job another needed doing. On top of his special radio system got interfered with as the receivers got buffeted about.

The winds died down at the end of the week.

Cipher meanwhile trundled down the roads with extra care, even though he needed to make up for lost time, having helped Fluttershy with her animals and at the Sanctuary, Riolu volunteered to stay and help, off-hoofed, she noted the various creatures there began to make the Sweet Feather Sanctuary into a community.

He glanced at a fallen tree. A thought crossed his mind ‘I wonder if the Reverend has kept that stamp for me? Maybe I should stop at the Castle and see him. I hope he remembered.’ The Reverend did tend to remember the important things, like guests and service times, but small things, like say, the brakes of his scooter, well, no-pony really knew.

After a few minutes he stopped at the Castle of Friendship. As he got up to climb down the wind turned fierce and almost blew him off. Thankfully the cart acted as a shield against the wind. He knocked on the door. Almost immediately both opened with considerably speed. A long snort and large pair of green eye blinked at him, a sharp toothy grin appeared and a deep, however childlike toned voice greeted him “Hey Cipher, what brings you here.”

Cipher, being one who could change his appearance at will got accustomed to the, well, dragon sized Spike quickly, Fluttershy even didn’t get scared at him either, since she knew him to be the same Spike as ever, although the engaged couple currently stood within a minority of Ponyville residents. Still the fouls found sliding down Spike’s tail very entertaining, and he proved most helpful to the construction workers since he could act as a living crane, with his tight grip and flight.

The Changeling Prince smiled “Oh nothing much Spike, just here to see the Reverend, is he in?”

“Sure is, he’s been pouring over maps of the area for days, part of Twilight Special Project.”

“That continues to stay mysterious, can’t you say anything about what it is?”

“Sorry, I Pinkie Promised not to tell, you know what’ll happen if I break a Pinkie Promise.”

“No, not really, but I can imagine.” He shivered.

“Yeah. Later then.” And the purple dragon proceeded to trudge down the corridor, occupying most of the space available.

Cipher meanwhile headed for the Vicarage Wing. To his surprise it now included a bell, he rang it and waited. The door opened and Reverend Farthing stood there, a little flustered.

Cipher did his best to be polite “Hello Reverend, I just popped by to see if you kept that Sea Pony stamp from yesterday?”, the Reverend looked a little confused, then he bright “Oh, of course Cipher,” he turned to his desk “I didn’t know you took up stamp collecting.”

“Oh, it’s not for me, Dinky’s starting to so I thought she might like it.”

“Very kind of you to think that Cipher. Now where did I put it?”

Cipher looked around and noticed the suitcase and the half-packed clothing “Sorry to interrupt, but are you off somewhere?”

“Oh yes, Church Convention, taking palace in Bridle City. First one since being ordained.” He lifted a couple of maps and found an opened envelope “Ah, here’s that stamp.” He magically gave the envelope over. Cipher took it with his “Thanks.”

The Reverend sighed “Such a nuisance, I’ll have to visit every-pony to cancel meetings while I’m away. Such a bother, and with a train to catch too.” He went to the case and finished his packing “First my regular congregations, I know Perks and family are so I can tell him when I’m down at the station, and Flash knows so he can tell his family, but there’s Waddle at the retirement home, a Miss Minuette is staying with Miss Heartstrings and Bon-Bon. Then there are those ponies who come for advice or for tea on Sunday afternoon after the service.” He shut the lid “I’ll just have to hurry, my train leaves in an hour, I think.”

Cipher nodded “I hope you get around town in time. Cheerio, have a good trip.” He went back to the cart. Gingerly, encase the wind tried to play tricks, climbed onto the seat, took the reins and started it up. After entering the village and crossing the high street the winds changed, zigzagging between alleys and jumping over rooftops. Thankfully it only played and didn’t turn malicious he called at the Post Office to collect the letters.

Muffins poked her head from under the counter as he entered, Cipher rubbed the back of his neck “I’m not late, am I?”, the Post Mistress shook her head and smiled “Not really, although I thought you might have trouble getting through what with all the tree blown down. Why did you move into Fluttershy’s?”

Cipher blushed “Well, we are engaged, and since I have cart I can travel, Fluttershy couldn’t leave her cottage with her charges for long, and they all like me, although Angel is a little stroppy.” To change the subject, he mentioned about the Reverend and his trip to Bridle City “Which reminds me.” He produced the envelope with the Sea Pony stamp “You said Dinky has a stamp collection, I thought she could do with this.”, Muffins smiled brightly “She’ll love it. I’ll put it on the living room table, won’t be long.” And she disappeared through the door.

As Cipher waited he filed through one of the newspapers on the rack. He reached the Religious column of the Equestria Daily. At the top read “Convention of Bridle Moved.” Cipher read the article, the Convention centre at Bridle got hit badly by a recent storm from the north at the proposal of Princess Celestia the Convention planned to move to Ponyville.

Muffins came in and gave the few letters over. Cipher explained “…I’d better find the Reverend and tell him.”

“Bye Cipher, I hope you’re in time.”

“Bye.” He shut the office door and quickly started the cart up. Unable to make a turn in the high street he decided to use the first country road to meet a road back to the Castle of Friendship. With less than an hour to find and inform the Reverend he would need to roll fast, disregarding the winds and the debris.

He turned a corner and flinched he shouted, “Look out Time!”

Time Turner stood, with the Lorry parked nearby, digging a small landslide from the road.

Cipher swerved hard into an open field. He slid and carved grooves into the grass and earth, not helped by the strong winds. His magic flared out of fear and the cart jerked faster. One of the doctor’s helper stood near the open gate at the other side of the field. Cipher called out “Get out of the way! I can’t stop!”, the helper jumped over the gate as Cipher passed “Sorry!” he called getting back on the road. At his current speed he wouldn’t stop in front the of Castle in time.

Instead as he neared the crystalline structure he called the magic off, effectively putting the cart into neutral and jumped down in front of the cart and put his weight on it, to both calm himself down and to strength himself up, he thought about Fluttershy, shutting his eyes to concentrate better. The pressure on his side ended. He looked at the cart, then to his side and jumped. He stood with only inches behind him, the cart and the side of the Castle. Taking a few breaths, he slowly made his up to the door and entered.

Twilight ran up from the Vicarage Wing “Cipher, have you seen the Reverend?”, he shook his head and explained why he came. Twilight turned worried “I just got the letter from Princess Celestia, I thought I just missed him.” She started to hyperventilate “I’ll have to coordinate a major Church gathering, find places for the attendants to stay, organise the events, I could really use the Reverend’s help!”

Flash appeared and wrapped his wings around her “Twilight please, calm down, you’ll stress the fouls!”

Cipher looked back to the doors “I’ll do my best to find the Reverend. You’d better stay here, he might call back before he leaves for the station, you never know, he might have forgotten something.”

Twilight took a deep breath and exhaled, before taking a few extra breaths “Thanks Cipher, you might catch him at Rarity’s, he’s been talking with her about the décor for our Special Project.”

“Thanks for the advice, cheerio.” He trotted out and took a flying leap onto the cart seat. Just as he gripped the reins, and before he even sat comfortably charged his horn and reversed the cart. With enough room for the turning circle he swung around and speed as fast as the wooden wheels would allow and headed for Carousel Boutique.

Again, the country roads proved the quickest in the weather. He then spotted a hole in one of the drystone walls and smirked ‘That impromptu backroad could save me time.’, he twisted the reins and turned into a rough lane. The cart jumped and jittered on the cluttered and potholed road. Cipher turned a corner and stopped “Oh no!”

A trailer with a large chuck of tree trunk blocked the road, “Now who’s left that there? I’ll never get passed with the cart.” He sighed ‘Only one thing for it now.’ He took his post bag and jumped off the seat, his wings fluttered and he followed the lane.

His wings nearly gave out as he landed on the path before the Boutique. Rarity saw him from the window and opened the door for him “Hello Cipher dear. May I inquire why you’re without your cart? And to why you are in such a rush?”

“You may Rarity. I’m trying to catch up with the Reverend,” and he explained a bit about the emergency “Have you seen him?”

She nodded worried “I’m afraid you just missed him darling,” she put her hoof on his shoulder “I hope to Celestia you get that message to him in time, but please, for Fluttershy’s sake, do push yourself too hard.”

“I’ll try not to, but how can I catch up to him? I’ve left the cart a mile down that country lane.”

“He did say he needed to call at Time Turner’s, something about his watch, you might catch him there, he’s going on hoof, but,” she went around the back and pushed a scooter towards him “Scootaloo left one of her old scooters to Sweetie Belle as a birthday gift, she hardly uses it, just bring it back in good condition darling.”

“Thanks Rarity, the CMC have pushed me to do something at least one. I’ll do my best to take care of if.” He hopped on the scooter and pushed on down the road.

The old scooter’s steering proved a little stiff, and a squeaky wheel felt wobbly. ‘I wouldn’t want to do this every day.’ He coasted down the hill and rang the bell encase any-pony came along the way, being a filly’s scooter, it didn’t have brakes, but Cipher being a Changeling on a mission speed meant everything. A sharp bend, almost at right-angles appeared at the bottom of the hill. Cipher tried to turn, but the stiff meant he overshot and rolled up embanked sides. He lifted the handlebars up and rested the front wheels on the top of the wall. Swung the base around. Before flicking it off and continuing. The slight momentum allowed him some distance up the next hill, but a quarter up he needed to rely on hoof and wing.

Once again deciding to cut out the middle lane, so to speak, he went as the crow flies. While the road circled around the crest of the hill Cipher getting off the scooter pushed it over, he paused to catch his breath ‘I’ll be glad when this is over.’

At the top he could make out the workshop at the back of Time Turner’s ship. He remounted and coasted down. The rocky and step sides threw him about. It very much reminded him of when the CMC took him barrel rolling, expect instead of laying sideway and being spun, thus able to see what would be directly in front of him, this time he saw every rock, and the stiff handles made it hard to evade a few. Then braced. From off-road briefly onto road.

CRASH.

Straight into and through the backdoor of Time Turner’s workshop. The doctor walked up to him and chuckled “Hello Cipher, is this some type of express delivery? Whatever are you doing? Are you alright?”

Pulling himself up, Cipher examined the scooter, the handle now dented and the wobbly wheel rolled along the floor and bounced off the wall before spinning and clattering to a halt on its side. He sighed and looked to Time “To quickly answer, no this isn’t to do with the Royal Mail, I’m trying to catch up with the Reverend, and yes I’m alright, it’ll take a lot more to break my new armour.”

Time Turner glanced at the door to the shop “You’re too late to catch him here Cipher, he’s already gone. He did say he’d pop into see Mr Waddle at the retirement home before he catches his train.”

Cipher sighed “And I’ve ruined Sweetie Belle’s scooter for nothing.”

The doctor trotted to his toolbox and picked out a spanner “Leave it to me, I’ll fix it, I thought it could do with some improvements, never got around to asking though. As to getting to the Reverend in time.” He rummaged into a crate. And pulled out two pairs of roller skates “You can borrow these, I’ve just mended them.” He chuckled “You’ll definitely move when you’ve got these on. I’ll help you put them on.”

“Well,” Cipher said as he magically tied the back pair on “I said I’d try anything once. And I must catch the Reverend before he catches his train.”, Time helped with his front hooves. Then after helping the Post-stallion to stay upright on all wheeled fours, gave him a push out the door.

Cipher turned his leg slightly and he turned to the road. His front right hoof slipped. But he kept going.

Time Turner shouted from the door “You’re doing fine!”

Cipher manged to get the hang of the wheels, up until he got halfway up a hill. He slid back. Angling his skates, he managed to stop. With his wing he pushed on forward, like with the scooter, since he didn’t need his wings to support his body in the air he could focus the angle completely on propulsion. Still, he sidestepped the last couple of yard to the crest. He reared up and steadied himself on a fence. He stood straight. Gravity took over, and the wind. Frowning he accelerated down.

At the bottom one of Time Turner’s helper carried a ladder as he walked from one field to another across the road. Cipher ran into the back of the ladder, the pony spun, ending up facing to other way, dizzy and confused at what just happened.

Meanwhile Cipher continued as the hill dipped. A junction lay ahead. Going too fast to go either way, Cipher didn’t even have the choice but to head first, then head over heal and over a wall.

Filthy Rich riding on one of his carts other than his mobile shop, with the Reverend Farthing at his side saw this and told his lacky to stop at the folk in the road. The entrepreneur looked over the wall “I thought I saw Cipher dive over the wall.”

The Changeling steadied himself up and peered over the wall and shook his head “I’m not roller skating again.” He muttered, then he looked at his unexpected audience “Hello Rich,” then he smiled “Ah Reverend, thank goodness you haven’t gone to Bridle City.” While struggling to remain upright he explained about the storm at the Port city, then about Princess Celestia’s message to Twilight and finally the lengths he went through to try and find him.

In the end the Reverend merely nodded “Lord bless us,” he said, “what a good thing you caught me in time.”

Rich looked along the road “I’d offer you a lift back to your cart, but on these hills me friend here,” pointing to his puller “can only puller so many up these hills.”

Cipher nodded “I understand Rich. I’ll make my own way back.”

The Reverend looked back “Big Macintosh is coming, we’d best not get in his way.”

Rich nodded to his puller and they trundled off.

Big Mac trotted up and stopped when he saw Cipher, he pulled an empty trailer behind him “Howdy Cipher.” He glanced back “Sorry blocked the road this morning, I was helping Time Turner. Couldn’t so much with the Farm out of action. If you like I’ll give you a ride back to your cart.”

Cipher smiled “Thanks very much Big Mac, I’ve had a tiering, I couldn’t walk it, much less skate.” He magically untied the wheeled shoe off his hooves and he fluttered onto the trailer.

Big Mac watched with bemusement “What in tarnation’s with the roller skates?”

As the eldest Apple Sibling pulled the Changeling Prince along the road, Cipher explained the entire day’s events. Big Mac listened “That explains that tiering day, although sounds as if trying could fit too.”

“Oh definitely. I’ve only got a few letters today, I think I’ll just finish my rounds and after sorting out the roller skates and Sweetie Belle’s scooter, then I’ll go home to Fluttershy and rest.”

“I don’t blame you, especially in this weather.”

Cipher frowned his eyebrows “You know, the last time we had such a long conversation was while we were on the road to that weekend camp. Can I ask, why is it you don’t talk so much?”

Big Mac grunted “Long story, Granny Smith can tell better than me. Let’s just say as a teenager I used to be a chatterbox and always going on tangents. Just thought I should stop all the talk and do the listening.”

They passed the North-Eastern Windmill, Windy Miller and Dotty waved as they passed.

“You know,” Big Mac said, “On the subject of roller skates, the Major said he once had an instructor how tried to teach combat on roller skates.”

Cipher blinked “I’d say you were being silly, but I know the Major to be honest when without reason to lie.”

Presently they turned into a sideroad and it became bumpier. Finally, Big Mac stopped at the Auto-magic Cart. The farmer turned back to the Post-stallion “You alright now Cipher?”

“Fine now, thanks Mac. Cheerio.”

“Yep.” And he trotted off.

Cipher got aboard and started the cart off once more. He followed the generally disused road back to the main one. Turn into it and headed back to town. He did stop at Carousel Boutique to explain to Rarity. She nodded “I could see why Sweetie didn’t use it, I just thought as an emergency, still, thank you for telling me Doctor Turner’s repairing darling.”

“Your welcome Rarity, and thanks for understanding.”

“It’s quite alright my dear. Now you have a nice day. I’m sure both Fluttershy and Riolu will want you back home safe and sound.”

Cipher chuckled “I’m with them on that. After I’ve finished the rounds and a couple of lose ends I’m heading back to cottage.”

“A wise decision, goodbye Cipher.”, he nodded “Bye.” Flicked the reins and slowly made his way, no more fast action and recklessness for the day, or the week if he could manage it. But you never know with Ponyville.

Author's Note

A shorter chapter than usual, not what I really wanted for getting back to writing, and for a first year anniversary of the Silver Enlightenment.

Sorry for the lack of posting. Job hunting, volunteering and on top of it I've once again ressurected one of my Fanfaction stories. After coming some infomation relating to the subject and some inspiration I've managed to work in some of the ideas from my previous attempts at rewriting and managed to go further with the idea.

I'm also begining to run out of ideas to continued the story.

What I'm saying is don't expect a lot of chapters.

More than a Royal Chariot

In the spring hills above Huntersfield a familiar trio of middle-aged stallions wandered.

Over the months, some unknown facts about Helmet Listener came to light. With the return of Mistmane to the Eastern Settlements she gave her approval to declassify some top-secret operation files. Helmet much to the surprise of Foggy Dew did serve in the Royal Guard. In the Second Regiment of Hoof, a little after Cold Steel’s time. He took part in a jungle campaign to help liberate some of the Settlements from rebel groups. Foggy Dew claimed to have also served in the jungle with the Third Hoof and campaign medals were sent out accordingly.

But on the homeward front Helmet remained much as ever. A scruff fur trapper, and recently due to helping Fluttershy with Major Field’s training ground, a humane pest-control pony. As part of this, he started wearing wellington boots on his back legs to stop rats and the like from scurrying up them.

North Sentry, Flash’s father, brought out his old bicycle. The cycling fade never caught on compared to scooters. Bikes were generally owned by foals as toys. But cycling about the hills saved time.

One afternoon the three milled down a country lane when Helmet went off to the side to a stile. “Hang on a minute.” He called and groaned, “I got something sharp in my welly,”

Foggy smirked unimpressed. “It would have to be sharp to survive that.”

Helmet sat on the stile and removed his left boot. In doing so, he revealed a bright pink soak on his hoof. North and Foggy approached astonished. North whistled. “Wow!” he commented as Foggy laughed. “It’s sharp all right is that!”

“By Celestia,” Foggy said. “You could frighten peacocks with a sock like that,” Helmet pointed to it. “They were reduced.”

“Well,” North said, “I’m glad to here it. I wouldn’t like to see them on full power. What are going to do when your battery’s gone?”

Helmet, in the middle of shaking his welly to dislodge the offending item, paused and looked to his sock. He pointed to it again. “They’re not electric,” Foggy replied, “They are from here,” he watched with revolution as Helmet peered muzzle first into the boot and muttered to North, “I don’t know how he can do that without using soap,”

Helmet looked up offended. “I’ve washed my hooves,” he said. “I wash my hooves every time I put new socks on.”

“Every time?” North asked.

“Well,” Helmet said, before hissing a laugh. “Nearly every time.”

His friend smirked and looked off as Helmet put his hoof down his welly. He pulled it out with something in his grip. “Hey, look at that!” Foggy quickly responded, “No I don’t think we’ll bother,” he shielded his eyes.

“That’s a flint for a lighter is that,” Helmet said. He took a handkerchief from under his necktie and started rubbing the flint. “It’s very mysterious is that,”

“You’re absolutely right,” Foggy said. “I was just thinking to myself,” he pointed “That is the most mysterious handkerchief I have ever seen,” Helmet put the flint in the handkerchief and stuffed it back into his tie. “Oh, me other one’s in the wash,”

Foggy glanced to North with some confusion, then he asked Helmet, “The wash?” Helmet did not answer instead he clarified his earlier comment, “I mean it’s mysterious because I don’t have a lighter. So, what’s a flint doing in my welly?” North suggested something, “You’d better look in the other welly, you might find the lighter.”

Instead, Helmet put his boot back on and stood up. He pounded it on the ground a couple of times. He smiled. “Ah, that’s better,” as they resumed their country stroll, and as North pushed his bicycle, he commented to Foggy, “Did you notice how dark it went when he put that soak back in? Quite a rare astronomical event that. Total eclipse of the soak,”

They came to a stone barn on a hill, which allowed them the chance to have a rest. Helmet still went on, “You’d think it’s going to just be another ordinary day, and then suddenly! You find a flint in your welly,”

Foggy sarcastically commented, “Good job there wasn’t a spark. It could have blown you’re hoof off,”

North decided to change the subject, “You know, Pinkie Pie mentioned this to me and I have to say I agree. If there’s no guiding hoof behind the universe, how come bananas are just the right shape for your mouth?”

Indeed, the trio rested to have a snack of bananas. Foggy added from his own experience, “You couldn’t get bananas in the Eastern jungles, the natives creatures would maul you before you got close. The orangutans especially,” Helmet piped up with his own comment from his past, “You couldn’t get Lily Gift either,” he threw his peal away and continued, “I know, I tried. She was Wonderbolt mad! Worse than Rainbow Dash. You hadn’t got a chance if you were wearing khaki,”

“Not even scruffy khaki?” North asked.

“No,” Helmet replied. “And I was very good a scruffy khaki. Mind you, it was scruffy when you got it.” Foggy sighed. “You were supposed to press a few creases into it,”

“Oh, that’s great ain’t it!” Helmet groaned. “You going to go out a die for them, and you got to press your suit for the privilege!” he slumped. North swallowed. “Dying a lot around Hack Cob, were they?” he asked, referring to the small island Helmet got stationed during the liberation campaign.

“Only for bananas,” Foggy hazarded. Helmet looked at him indigent. “That’s not the point. I didn’t know I wasn’t going to die, did I? They gave me crossbow, and a spear, I thought, hello, hello, this is not for picking your teeth with. There I was, with a crossbow and a spear, and in civvy street they had me up for keeping a few ferrets,” he slumped again.

Foggy with his mouth full asked, “Well you didn’t think they were going to send you’re your ferrets after the enemy, did you?”

North brightened up. “My word! That could have flushed Sky King and his Branch out of their bunker,” referring to a cultic and monastic schism of the Silver Enlightenment hiding out on a table top mountain in the deserts of Saddle Arabia, North and his division of the First Hoof tried to arrest them for sexual abuse and illegal weapons violation. Sadly, and horrifyingly the Branch preferred death to surrender and took matters into their own hooves. North spent about a week in mournful prayer for them. Now a days North found it so awful he needed to make fun of it, what else could you do to cope?

So, he laughed as he continued, “I like it, yeah,” he mockingly went all hush-hush, “The secret war of Helmet Listener,” Foggy remained unflappable and commented, “The day of the ferret,”

Helmet rolled his eyes. “Eat your banana,” Foggy replied by showing his empty peel, “All gone,”

“Well that’s life,” North said calmly. “Suddenly it’s high summer and your banana’s all gone,”

Helmet went back to an earlier point in the conversation. “I should have been born a Pegasus, then I could have joined the Wonderbolts, and had a tour of ops on,” he then whispered, “Lily Gift,” as he hissed his cheeky laugh, Foggy added, “Luna, she was ugly,”

“Ah,” North said, still get through his banana. “But only from the front,” he nodded to Helmet. “And as we’ve now learned, in conflict he never went near the front,”

“I tried for a reserved occupation,” Helmet said. Foggy nodded. “Well, yeah, there was no-pony more reserved about taking up an occupation than you,” Helmet once more glared at Foggy.

Down the road the three rode. North sat in the seat and pedalled. Helmet hung on sitting on the luggage carrier on the back. And Foggy balanced on the handle bars.

After the bike swivelled for the nth time Helmet asked, “Who’s steering?” Foggy gently nodded back to North. “Well, he’s steering,” North turned hysterical fast and called back immediately, “I thought you were steering!” Helmet then shouted, “Well some-pony better start steering!”

The bicycle disappeared around a bend.

CRASH!

In the café at Huntersfield Helmet swung the door open. North passed the door with as squeaking and stubbornly sticking bicycle. He propped up the bike by the window and followed the limping Foggy.

The trio practically fell into chairs. North rubbed the back on his neck. “You know,” he muttered. “I’ve been thinking. We’re going have to get three bikes,”

Foggy blinked. “Bicycles? For each of us?” when North nodded Foggy asked, “You do realise how rare bicycles for full grown ponies are?”

From the seemingly empty counter came a friendly shout, “I’ll be with you in a minute,” the three of them looked about. North commented, “That didn’t sound like Ivy,”

Indeed, from the counter stood a, very tall, and board, workhorse sized, adolescent stallion. An off-white coat, a yellowish-brown and maroon mane with straight-forward purple highlights. On one hoof he wore a leather band with metal studs. His cutie mark looked like a length of chain in a constrictor knot.

North and Helmet backed up and grabbed each other nervously.

The young, large stallion smiled warmly. “I was just picking up some broken glass,” he took out a piece of paper. Read it. Looked back and smiled again. “Hello,” he leaned towards them slightly. “Can I be off,” he paused and quickly checked the paper again, “of service?” he smiled and nodded again.

Helmet broke from North and nudged Foggy. “What is it?” he whispered. Foggy glanced from Helmet to the new stallion and back before suggesting, “Ask him,”

“Thee ask him,” Foggy looked back to the young stallion nervously. “No,” he justified it with, “I’m a bit worried by that broken glass,”

North whispered, “He’s very big to be asking,”

The young stallion looked out the window and blinked. “Is that a bicycle on the window?” he left the counter. Squeezed through the shop. Walked up to the bicycle. And with one hoof lifted it up and examined it. The trio watched amazed. He walked back in. “Looks like your front set forks been bent,” he looked to the paper again. “But she never said anything about ponies bringing bikes.”

North gulped. “Who never said?”

“Me Auntie Ivy,” he smiled and nodded jovially. “I’ve started working for me Auntie Ivy,”

Helmet smiled. “He’s a bouncer!” he turned to a nervously laughing North. “She’s employing a bouncer!”

“No,” Ivy’s nephew said happily. “I’m not a bouncer,” he leaned him. “I’m a waitress,”

North and Helmet glanced at each other. “Wow!” North said. “That’s some waitress,” Ivy’s nephew then frowned. “No, I tell a lie, I’m not a waitress,” he took the bit of paper again and read it. “No, I’m a, General Assistant,” he nodded smiling again. “And they said I’d never get anywhere when I was at school,”

Foggy turned to the other two. “Yes, well,” he said relieved. “What are we hanging back for? He’s only a lad,” North still remained nervous. “There’s enough material for two lads,”

Helmet plucked up courage and gingerly approached the colt. He gestured with his hoof and Ivy’s nephew leaned down as close to Helmet’s eye level as possible. The pest controller asked, “What’s the name?” the young stallion frowned and said quietly, “I’m called Crusher, me Mom said I have this really terrific grip, even as a new-born,” Helmet started backing up.

North stood up and crept to the door. Foggy narrowed his eyes at him. “Where are you going?”

“Well,” North said. “You heard him,” he eyes darted to Crusher. “I mean suppose he gets nasty because no-pony here is a really big tipper,” Helmet suddenly appeared by North and nodded. “Aye, no-pony here’s a big tipper!”

“Pull yourself together,” Foggy said getting up. “I admit he’s big, but he’s amiable.”

“Yeah,” North said. “But some-pony like that could like you to death!”

“Give the lad a chance,” Foggy said. “He just needs a firm hoof,” the two stepped out of Foggy’s way. “After you,” Helmet said. Foggy stood up straight, nodded and walk up to the counter. “Now then,” he began, “young fellow-me-lad. Let’s have a little bit of this, General Assistance, shall we?” he chuckled as he looked back to the others. He returned to Crusher and gave his orders, “We want three teas, all with milk, two with one, and one with two, sugars that is,”

Crusher just stood there smiling. Foggy tilted his head. “Well come on,” he ordered. “Chop-chop. Three teas, all with milk, two with one, and one with two sugars,” Crusher smiled twitched slightly. His hoof took Foggy’s scarf and pulled him closer. Smiling politely, he asked slowly, “How many teas?”

“Crusher?” exclaimed a voice from behind. The shook caused the young stallion to let go. Foggy coughed and touched his throat as he returned to North and Helmet, the two trying hard to keep from laughing.

Ivy walked out of the kitchen. “What are you doing?” and then she pointed it him, “And where’s your overall?” he replied honestly, “I feel such a jessie in that white frock,” Ivy sighed and rolled her eyes. “It’s not a frock, it’s an overall. You look very smart in your overall. Ask any-pony,” she pointed to the kitchen. “Now go and put it on,” as Crusher went inside Ivy took the counter and looked to the three sternly.

Foggy approach cautiously. “I am to understand madam, that you are employing that,” he pointed to the kitchen, “um, that,”

North called over, “Amiable young follow? Eh?” he chuckled. Foggy completed his question, “On a regular basis?”

“He’s learning the business.” Ivy stated. The kitchen door opened, and Crusher stepped out in an extra-large pair of white overalls, rather tight on him and with the collar askew. “I am!” he said happily. “I’m learning the business.”

Foggy backed up. “Luna, the Zesty Gourmand Armoured Division!”

Crusher walked over to sort out the chairs the trio vacated. “I just wish I didn’t have to learn it in a frock,” he looked to his aunt. “A really tight frock.” Ivy quickly came up to him. “I told you, you look very smart in your overall. It’s important to make an impression,”

Helmet chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry Ivy,” he said and pointed to Foggy, “he’s made an impression,”

“Yes,” Ivy said. “Well, that’s good enough for learn in,” she then talked slowly to her nephew. “But when I’m satisfied with your progress, we’ll buy you a bigger overall,” Crusher smiled and as Ivy walked back to the counter, he started sorting the chairs. Helmet smiled and tapped him on the shoulder. Just for fun he presented his bicep. Crusher did so too, showing his to be, though trapped in the shelves, a whole lot bigger. Crusher then reared up. Carefully put his front hooves in position and lifted Helmet off the ground.

Ivy came back and scolded him. “Don’t frighten the customers Crusher,” she softened slightly when he shuffled his back hoof slightly. “Now, why don’t you go around the back and get paint and supplies for the booking? I’ll handle these three,” Crusher nodded and went to the kitchen. Once gone, Ivy took Helmet, a chair and plonked him down into it. “Sit down and don’t do anything stupid. A tall order I know,” she walked back to the counter and looked to Foggy and North. “Now, what do you want, and who’s paying?”

After getting their teas the trio sat around the table. Every so often, Crusher would pass by carrying thing upstairs. North took a sip. “You know,” he began, “Once you get used to him. Crusher get a nice chap,” Helmet nodded. “I bet he’s going to be fun,” he chuckled. North nodded. “He represents one of those great paradoxes of life, especially in this area of the world. Those ponies who are big and strong, often aren’t violent. I imagine both of you have come across it in your Royal Guard days,”

Foggy answered first, “I haven’t. But that’s primarily because the Third Hoof never recruited the big and strong types, we kept the tradition of the Commandos, stealth rather than strength.” Helmet on the other hoof nodded. “I’ve seen it, a few of the bigger lads were like that,”

North continued. “And then there’s local big lads. Big MacIntosh, Cipher and Bulk Biceps, in Bulk’s case he isn’t destructive on propose, it’s all purely by accident. They’re not violent, they don’t need to be,” he glanced to the window again. “But getting back to my earlier point. I think it would be best if we got bikes from the each of us,”

Foggy shook his head. “And as I pointed out, where are we going to find bicycles?” North hummed. “Well,” he said. “I imagine Filthy Rich may have an idea.”

In Barnyard Bargains Muffins read out the first few items of his shopping list. Filthy Rich nodded and walked over to the second of the shop. He struck up a conversation, “You do get through a lot of polish and disinfectant Muffins,” the Post Mistress smiled. “Dauntless does love to keep his armour shiny and clean,” Rich put the item on the counter. “What next then?”

“Well, I want some soup,”

“One tin of soup, thank you Muffins. Large or small?”

“Large,” Rich nodded and started walking over to where the large tins sat.

“No, wait,” Muffins said. “Can I see what you’ve got with small tins please,” Rich nodded and stopped at the smaller tins. “We’ve got Okra, Mushroom, Pumpkin or Tomato,”

“Okra,” Rich nodded and reached for one.

“No, I’d better take tomato,”

“Tomato?”

“Yes,” Rich took a tomato down and began walking to the counter.

“Unless you’ve got,” as Muffins paused Rich turned around and walk back to the shelf. Muffins finished her question, “Minestrone?”

“Minestrone Muffins? That’s a bit exotic,” he looked at the small soup. He shook his head. “No, I haven’t got a small tin, I’ll only have a large tin,” Muffins looked a little deflated. Rich explained, “I can’t cut them in half Muffins. It all flops out you see. I’ll tell you what I will do, I’ll sell you a large tin, but I’ll only charge you for two small ones,” he took a large tin and put it with other items. “Anything else?”

“Well,” Muffins said unsure.

The shop door opened. Helmet got pulled back by Foggy Dew. “Steady on you. I’ll do the talking.”

“All right,” Helmet said. They two, followed by North Sentry. The fur trapper called over, “How do Filthy?” Rich nodded and turned to Muffins. “Why don’t you make your mind up Muffins while I service those three?” she nodded, and the proprietor walked over. “Morning Helmet, Mr Dew, Your Grace,”

Foggy paused and turned to North. “What does he mean Your Grace?”

“Well,” North scratched the back of his head. “When Flash married Twilight Princess Celestia made me a Duke, of Connemara. It’s standard procedure apparently, dates back the Unicorn monarchy, if a royal marries a commoner, then the commoner’s family is elevated to nobility. Night Light is the Duke of Kirkby-in-Feral,”

Rich smiled as he gave Helmet a pack of cigars and a box of matches. “Really? We’ve sale Feral mint cake if you’re interested,”

Foggy still looked at North. “We’ll talk about this Duke thing later.” Foggy turned back to Rich and stated, “Bicycles,”

“Hay!” Helmet called lighting up, “Watch your language Elsie,” Foggy ignored him and continued, “We’re looking for a couple of old but serviceable adult machines, cheap,” and Helmet added, “Dirt cheap,”

Rich hummed and tapped his hoof. “I know it ain’t good customer service, but I’m not sure, I know of one or two places in Canterlot which might sale them,”

North frowned. “That seems a bit far to go from a pair of wheels in between a frame,”

“Well,” Foggy said glaring at him. “Since you’re apparently a member of the aristocracy now I think going to Canterlot will be fairly easy,” he turned back to Rich. “You don’t know of any-pony with a selection of machines we could examine,”

“Examine?” Rich said. “For dirty cheap in Canterlot you expect to examine?” he shook his head. “I’m sorry gentle-colts but I don’t think I can help.”

As the trio went to the door, Muffins spoke up. “We don’t you ask Time Turner?” they looked to her and she explained, “He’s got a shed full of bicycle parts, maybe you could ask him to make you own machines,” the three of them smiled and North thanked her.

Once after they left Rich returned to Muffins. “Have you made any progress?”

“I don’t know whether I should take a tin of luncheon hay,” he looked to the far corner of the shop where the hay produce sat. “Is it on your list?”

“Yes,” with confirmation Rich walked the long journey to the far corner, took a square tin and trudge back. When he put it on the counter Muffins paused and finished, “But I crossed it out,” Rich groaned and rolled his eyes. He took out a marker pen and draw on cross on the tin.

After Muffins finally left Sutch came in with his own list. The first item sounded like “Four candles,”

Time Turner said he could let Foggy and Helmet build their own machines while he sorted out North’s and few other odd jobs. In the shed the two novices mucked about in their own secluded end, which produced a lot of clangs and clinks and clanking, while North sat near the door sifting through the parts for suitable parts. Currently he tightened the spoke nipples on the rim of a wheel.

Foggy can out laughing. He wiped his hoof with a rag, somehow managing to make the greasier. “He hasn’t got the first idea,” he looked back with a chuckle. “And he won’t let me help him with it,”

“Well,” North muttered. “That’s not a bad first idea,” Foggy continued to wipe his hooves. “Well I wash my hooves of the whole thing, let him learn the hard way.” Foggy then noticed what North held out. “Oh, is that my wheel?”

“Well, I hope so,” North said smiling, “because if it’s a musical instrument it’s going to be very awkward to play,” he pretended to strum it like a harp. Foggy took the wheel and spoke up, “Yes, well, I suppose we shouldn’t be too hard in little electric socks, although I must say, I do rather enjoy it, well, you have to smile, don’t you? We’re not really being unkind. He knows I’ll help him whenever he becomes unstuck,”

North hummed a low laugh as Foggy re-entered to the workshop with the wheel. As North went out looking for a frame Helmet out in hysterics. “Thy should see him with a spanner,” he cackled. “He’s got no idea,” he paused and recovered as North presented him with something. “Hey,” he asked, “is that my frame?”

North paused and smiled. “Well I hope so,” he drawled, “because if it’s a musical instrument it’s going to be very awkward to blow,” Helmet took the frame and slung it onto his back. “You know,” he said. “He’s worse with a spanner than he is with a mare, but all tall blokes are the same, aren’t they?”

“Well,” North said slightly awkward. “Don’t look at me,” he bent his knees saying, “I’m a short low,”

Helmet laughed. “He keeps looking at my machine dead envious, but I pretend I’m not looking,” after another laugh he added more seriously, “Well, you can’t be unkind to Big Elsie, can you really? I mean, he knows full well, that I’ll help him out if he gets stuck,” he paused and with a grin announced, “I think I’ll give him a tally-ho,” Helmet reared up, took the frame and pressed the hole from the handlebars to his lips as he trotted back to the workshop. The noise sounded less like a trumpet, and more like an asthmatic kazoo.

North chuckled to himself.

Back at the café in Huntersfield Ivy smiled proudly at the door with it sign saying: Completely Redecorated!

Inside the slightly scruffy off-white walls now almost glowed with a new coat like Celestia’s. Around the room White Wonder and her husband Sharp helped. Ivy smiled. “Well, it looks a picture. Let’s hope we get a better class of costumer,” she paused as Sharps helped Crusher take a load of plates. “Or even a better class of staff,” she muttered.

Crusher turned to Sharp carefully and asked, “How many more trips upstairs,” Sharp replied, “If you think you’re bored now, wait until you have to start running up with the food. Go on,”

As the shuffled to the stairway at the back of the building, White turned to Ivy. “Do you think they’ll ever like work?”

“No,” Ivy said as she started folding napkins. “I wouldn’t expect so. They were past it before they even started it,” White nodded. “I suppose you can’t change the habits of a lifetime,”

“Depressing though, isn’t it?”

“Yes, very depressing. I blame a lot of it on literature,”

“Oh? How’s that?”

“Well, you read about all these funny ways of living. Ponies enjoying themselves. It makes it hard for them to adjust to the fact that, especially around here, real life, if you honest and decent, is bound to be pretty boring,” Ivy looked at her questioning. “Do you find your husband boring?” White nodded and added, “I wouldn’t have him any other way,”

“They’re so predictable,” Ivy said. White nodded again. “We’ve got a lot to be thankful for,” she returned to finishing the coat as Crusher and Sharp returned, wiping their faces and hooves on their white garments. Ivy noticed. “Hey!” she yelled. “Mind you keep them overalls clean. Ponies come in here for food. There entitled to expect to see nothing but cleanliness,”

Just then, Helmet walked in. “Hey up! Look at this!” as the other two entered. Ivy immediately gave them orders, “Don’t put your hooves anywhere on my walls. Just stand there and don’t move,”

“Don’t move?” Helmet exclaimed, “What about some grub? We’re starving!”

“Yes,” Ivy said, “well, just one step at a time. Just stand there for a minute. Let’s establish a few ground rules,”

North looked about unsure. “What happened to that homely air of neglect?” Foggy meanwhile approached Ivy impressed. “It’s very smart, congratulations,” Ivy nodded. “We’re aiming for a better class of customer,” then she muttered to herself. “We’re obviously failing,”

North still looked about at the white walls. “It’s like a hospital,” Helmet then pointed with a spanner to Sharp and Crusher. “Hey look,” Sharp put a fork into a pie as Helmet commented, “There’s Dr Sharp Edge, with his faithful nurse, Sister Crusher,”

“Knife,” Sharp called to Crusher. Before he could carve the pie Helmet’s word register and he looked up at them. Helmet laugh out loud at the coincidence.

Ivy looked at their hooves indignant. “Just look at the stare you’re in,” Foggy explained, “Yes, well, we’ve been building bicycles madam,”

Crusher and Sharp looked up. Crusher smiled and asked, “Bicycles?” Helmet nodded. “At Time Turner’s,” Sharp looked at them envious. “That sounds like a stallion’s job that, building bicycles,” Crusher then frowned. “Auntie Ivy? Are you refusing to serve them because of the oil? You said you can’t refuse to serve customers,”

“No-pony’s refusing to serve them, they’re just going to get it, Canterlot style,”

The trio looked at her, Foggy a little unsure and North and Helmet with smiles. “Canterlot style?” they asked together, and then Helmet added, “Cor I’ve never had it that before,”

North and Helmet’s mood change when it turned out Ivy made them sit at a table set up outside the café. Foggy meanwhile sat contently watching the guildhall.

Helmet place the spanner down between his knife and Foggy’s fork. “I feel a right prawn stuck out here,”

“I agree,” North said. “It’s a bit like making love in a railway station,” Helmet gave North an odd look.

Foggy begged to differ. “I think it’s quite pleasant eating outside,” he turned to Helmet. “Why should you feel a prawn?” Helmet looked aside and nodded. “Them for a start,”

A swarm of foals walked down the steps and converged on them trio. A colt asked mockingly, “What time’s the show start mister?” quickly Foggy and the trio ordered the group to go home. Foggy rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t it give you that warm feeling to know seventy percent of your Income Tax rates are going on education?” he looked down at his hooves and then to the bowl and the paper napkins set up in the middle of table, he took one each. Helmet took another napkin and stuffed it into his necktie, then he took one of the blows and sipped it. Foggy wiped his hooves and glanced at Helmet. He paused and sighed, then he told Helmet, “It’s for your hooves,”

Presently Sharp came out of the café with a trolley with three covered plates. Helmet washed his hooves and asked, “Hey, garcon,”

“I’d wish you’d give over,” he said before he started handling the plates. “It’s alright for you lot, out here. You’re out here building bicycle, and I’m stuck waiting on tables,” as he put the brown sauce bottle on the near the circumference of the round table North asked, “Do we have to eat out here? There must be some scruffy little corner left inside that Ivy could fit us into, even if it’s only in the kitchen,”

“You’re safer out here today,” Sharp said. “Ivy’s in a bit of a panic on account of this private party she’s having,” he walked away after giving Foggy his meal. The former Third Hoof guards-pony took a happy breath. “It’s really quite civilised out here,” Helmet reached over the table for the brown sauce, Foggy took his knife and hit the blunt end on Helmet’s hoof, “and that is the way it’s going to stay,” as he passed the bottle to Helmet he asked, “Would you kindly stop reaching across ponies? Just watch your manner now while you’re on show,”

“Listen Power Pony Radiance,” Helmet said annoyed, “I’m starving. This bike building gives you an appetite,” North leaned in. “Not to mention lot of shaving off his hooves,”

Foggy snorted as he picked up his cutlery. “You call that thing you’re building a bike?” he paused when he saw he held a spanner instead of a fork. Helmet smirked. “It’s no weirder than the thing you’re building,” he then whirled his forelegs while holding his knife and folk. “All right, stand back, stand back! I’m you due warning, I’m not letting anything come between me and this pie,” he and the other two leaned down to start eating when he noticed something, and exclaimed, “Dust!”

From a second first floor window above them a mare flapped a carpet out a window to air it. The trio picked up their table and chairs and moved over to the tree in the middle of the stone square away from the window. They down again and prepared to tuck in. When water started to fall on them. They looked up and the clear sky, then North noticed and became annoyed. A pony washed his cart with a hose. Once again, the three moved the table, this time getting closer to the steps. Just as they sat down again, North looked up. A pair of stallions struggled with a cast iron bath. North and Foggy looked at each other. They moved the table. Helmet on the other hoof watched the two movers behind him. He turned back and squirted the brown sauce bottle. Only to find no table and his wellies now stained.

As North and Foggy set the table just outside the café door, Ivy came out and quickly ran back in. “The party’s here!” she called, and several dozen ponies started filing around the table. Foggy and North shield themselves. A table umbrella propped up fell onto the table. Helmet waited to see if anything else would happen. He re-joined the table. North stood up and moved the umbrella from the table. As he did he saw something happening at the guildhall.

Vigil and her assistance carried a coffin. North pointed to it. Foggy and Helmet turned around. Quickly they got up in respect. Foggy then noticed something in the corner of his eyes. Helmet tried to reach behind for something. Foggy snapped the spanner sharply on Helmet’s hoof. The fur trapper’s face screwed in pain, silently he flapped his hoof about and gave Foggy a look.

Back outside Time Turner’s shed, North pumped the front tire of his repaired bike.

Foggy came out of the open door laughing. “Here he comes then,” he chuckled. “Are you ready for this?”

A clatter came from inside and Foggy burst out, “Ha! Hang on a minute, a bit there just fell off!” in between the pair laughing Foggy called to Helmet, “If wheeling’s going to shake it to pieces, why don’t you just, carry it out very gently?”

Helmet’s voice interrupted the laughter, “Oh! Slapped by the jack!” the two started laughing again and Foggy commented, “That language,” and then laughed further as Helmet yelled, “Oh the screwdriver’s slipped!”

“It’s marvellous really,” North said. “He hasn’t even started cycling and already he’s picked up the vocabulary,” after another fit of laughter Helmet came to the door grinning. “It’s done,” he proclaimed. “I’m coming. Ah, is thee ready?”

“Just get on with it,” Foggy said.

Helmet wheeled out a strange looking bike. Painted roughly with black and red paint. The seat extended high and tilted and a custom made, out of a metal pipe, a curving, almost bull horn shaped handlebar with the brake levers bolted on. “Ta-da!” Helmet announced. Then he asked, “Well?”

“Well,” North said crouching down. “It’s different,” then the handlebar twisted and fell upside down. Helmet ignored it and patted the seat. “She’s a little cracker is this,” then he turned to the still laughing Foggy. “Don’t stand there giggling. Go and get yours, then we can all have a go giggle.”

“It’ll match yours anytime,” Foggy replied. Helmet just laughed and said to North, “Thy should see it,” he returned to Foggy. “Well go on,” as Foggy entered the workshop Helmet moved his bike out of the way and called North over. “Hey North? Tell me, what does thee think of this little nimble machine? Not bad, is it?”

North tried to be diplomatic. “Isn’t it a bit low at the front?”

“Low?” Helmet questioned. North tried to recover his blunder, “Don’t get upset. I didn’t mean low, just well,” he indicated to the difference between the seat and the handlebars, “not all that high,”

Helmet look at North funny and then explained, “Well, of course it’s low, she’s a little race is this,” as North nodded in understand, Helmet looked to the workshop. “Better than his darn great clumsy lump,”

“Built to last is this machine,” Foggy called back.

“Aye,” Helmet replied. “That’s what they said about the sailing ships Medusa and Alicorn,” he gave a hissing laugh to himself.

Foggy proudly wheeled his bike out. A large framed creation with an Everfree Flag attached to the handlebar and instead of the saddle like seat, an old farming plough seat. Laughing North wobbled the seat before commenting, “It is the Alicorn! He’s put pedal on the Alicorn!”

“Well,” Foggy said unimpressed. “It’s a larger machine, for the, taller figure. Seems perfectly logical to me,”

“Thine’s going to get a nasty headache going under low bridges,” Helmet said before laughing again. Foggy sniffed. “Don’t exaggerate. The thing is merely a, comfortable height, for my length of leg,”

Helmet smiled smugly, “I feel the same way exactly about Mrs Batty,” North chuckled and turned to Foggy to ask, “Where are we going riding?”

“Well, does it matter?”

“Well it does if you’re determined to make a spectacle of yourself,”

“A spectacle of myself?” Foggy protested. “I can assure you that this machine and I have no intention of making a spectacle of ourselves,”

On the road to Huntersfield North looked back and stopped. “Hang on,” he said to Helmet. “We’ll have to wait for Faithful Dobbin again,”

Leaning over the handlebars Helmet looked up. “Again? What’s he doing?”

“About four miles an hour, have you seen what he’s doing?” a squeaking came from up the road and they looked back together. Foggy must have misjudged the height of the seat and it’s flexibly on it’s fixing, because as he pedalled he bobbed up and down.

Helmet hissed his laugher. North started pedalling again, he couldn’t help but contemplate the bizarre images this friend must have cut. Helmet crouched and angled by his high seat and low handlebars as to almost bend double. And Foggy constantly undulating.

North opened the café door and amused said, “Oh, dear, oh dear,”

Foggy walked in with a silly walk causing him to bob up and down.

More drastically, Helmet came in reared up and bent forward. Still holding his curved handlebars. Foggy and North prised them off him and the former Third Hoof ordered, “Straight out! Straight out that colt!”

“I can’t,” Helmet protested. “I can’t. Me back’s locked,” he trudged over other counter.

Ivy standing there flicked her cloth at him shouting, “Keep your hooves off my paintwork!” Helmet explained, “I’ll topple over if I haven’t anything to hold onto,”

“Well,” Ivy said, “hold onto to this thought for today. If put a mark on my paintwork, I’ll feed you through me waste disposal! Bones and all,”

Foggy and North quickly pulled Helmet away from the counter and tried to put him into a chair. But his body remained stubbornly stiff to get out of its current position.

Crusher came out and confused asked, “What’s up with Mr Listener? You trying to get him into a parcel?” North explained, “It’s a little bicycle fatigue,” Helmet called out, “I am going to get better, I am going to get better,” he paused. “Hey? Why’s it all going quiet?”

“We’re thinking,” Foggy said. “You don’t want a causal snap answer,”

“Yes, I do,” Helmet clarified. “I want a causal snap answer.”

“Well,” Foggy began, “it’s just a little crick in the back, that’s all. Worse things happen in bed,”

Ivy turned shocked. “Not in my bed they don’t,”

The three stallions tried again to put on a stool. North even took his shoulder and gently rolled him onto it. Only for Helmet to remain in his position, back legs bent, and forelegs held out. Foggy shook his head and they returned him to standing. Crusher then took another chair and moved it under Helmet, so he could place his stomach on the backboard and prop himself against it. He grumbled but in a thankful way, “I like that. I like that,”

Foggy took charge. “This situation is going to need some very delicate handling,” after a pause he added, “I fact hardly any handling at all,”

Ivy sniffed. “Yes, well. I’ll leave you to it. There are certain darker corners in this universe into which a mare of my sensibilities is not disposed to pry,” before she went into the kitchen she mentioned, “Oh, while you’re straighten him out,” she shouted, “Keep his hooves off my woodwork!”

Foggy took the two upright ponies into a corner near the door to discuss things. “How are we going to straighten him out?” North turned confident. “I think I know how we’re going to straighten him out,” quietly he opened to the door and shuffled to the counter. “Sorry to have to inform you Ivy. But a certain cripple pony has just accidently put his mucky hooves all over your paintwork!”

He and the other three ran out leaving Helmet as Ivy shouted from the kitchen, “On my paintwork!”

“That’s a lie!” Helmet shouted. “Don’t leave me!”

“Let me get at him!”

From the outside North, Foggy and Crusher listened. Ivy shouted. “I told you!”

Helmet wailed.

Anything went silent.

The door opened. Helmet came out back on all four hooves and straight. He rubbed his back. He trudged over to Crusher. “By heck Crush, thee needs a medal for having her as an aunt,”

Smug, North approached and asked, “Feeling better, are you?” Helmet turned sour at him. “That was a rotten trick,”

“Well, was it worth it?” North asked. “To get your health back,”

“It come back all in a rush,”

“Well,” North said happily “Now you’re fit again. Ready to be obnoxious to all the mares,” Helmet chuckled. “I do my best,” as they walked off Foggy commented, “There’s no-pony does it better,”

Crusher smiled and went back inside to help sort out the chairs once more.

Back at the workshop some worried conversation emanated from it. Helmet’s voice asked, “Is thy sure this thing’s better?”

Foggy answered, “Of course it’s better. This way we all keep at the same speed,”

“Look at North,” Helmet said desperately. “He looks worried about it,” and North clarified, “Only because I’m worried about it,” Foggy on the other hoof would not listen. “There’s absolutely nothing to worry about. It’s going to be a very stable machine.”

Out from the workshop came three bicycles of equal size. Attached together with a couple of pipes across their frames so they stood in a row. Foggy looked proudly at his creation as North and Helmet shuffled up behind him. “There,” Foggy proclaimed. “Stroke of genius,” he let go and turn excited, “I mean look at it. Stands up be itself. Ha. How safe can you get? Six wheels! More than a royal chariot!”

Helmet turned to North. “I think I was happier when all I had to worry about was a flint in my welly,”

Foggy glanced at the two offended. “Why are you being so negative,”

North nodded to Helmet. “Tell him. Tell him!” Helmet opened his mouth. But Foggy cut him off, “All I ask is that you give it a fair trial.”

North look down on it. “It looks guilty to me,” and Helmet nodded. Foggy sniffed. “You’ll see,” he walked around to them. “You mark my words. The world is going to be amazed that no-pony’s ever thought of this idea before. The name Foggy Dew is going to be,” he dramatically lifted his hoof up in no particular direction and stated, “up there. Alongside, Glittering Iron, Bright Light, Ray Signal!”

Helmet frowned. “Who’s that lot?” North whispered to him, “Just to give you an idea, they’re all dead,” Helmet gave him a funny look.

Up on one of the hills the trio pushed the three-pony bike. They held onto the handles. But given the unfixed and swivelling nature of the front wheel they couldn’t remained still. Helmet voice this with annoyance, “It keeps going in all directions!”

Foggy covered for this design flaw. “Well, that’s because we haven’t started to ride it yet, I am mean once we’re in the saddles, we should be able to steer it accurately.”

“What at?” North asked. Foggy paused and laughed at such a stupid question. “Well, at nothing!” he waved his hoof behind him. “We just coast, down this gentle slope to get the feel of it.” North and Helmet looked back. Then Helmet voiced a new concern, “Has it got any brake?”

“Brakes?” Foggy asked with laugh. “Not only does it have brakes, it has three independent braking systems,” then he added, “That’s more than a royal chariot!”

At the top of the hill the trio sat. Foggy on the left. Helmet on the right. And North in the middle. Foggy looked about and smiled. “Here we go then,” he pushed on the pedals. The three-pony bicycle remained in place. He tried again. Then he turned to the other two. “Why aren’t we moving?”

Helmet nodded to North and said, “He’s got his brakes on,” Foggy saw North grip the brake levers on his handlebar and asked him, “Why have you got your brakes on?” and North replied by nodding the Helmet. “Because he’s got his brakes on,”

Foggy sighed. “Come on,” he ordered, “Let’s go,” he pushed on the pedals as Helmet and North let their brakes go. Gravity took control.

The three gathered speed.

Halfway down the hill Foggy glanced at his co-test-pilots. “Isn’t this pleasant?” he didn’t notice the two shaking their heads. Instead, he suggested, “Now we’ll test the brakes,” he turned to the two, “but wait for it. Wait for it. When I give the signal,” he looked forward again and chuckled. “Can’t just go braking whenever we feel like it, can we?” he failed to see them nodded enthusiastically. “No, no. This is something we shall all do together. Now you watch for my signal,”

A crossroads with a grassy bank approached. Foggy raised a hoof. “Now, braking detail. Ready. Steady,” he swiftly lowered his hoof. “Go!”

The three braked. The bike stopped. So fast they were thrown over the handlebars. They landed on the grassy bank. As they recovered Foggy stood up. The un-ponied bike started moving passed them down the road and rolled into a ditch in the verge.

Helmet got up and lightly thrashed Foggy with his necktie. “You great gormless, four-eyed, useless twit!”

North got up and commented, “And that’s more than a royal chariot,” Foggy ran down the road to retrieve the bike, and to miss Helmet throwing a pebble at him. “Get out of it!” he shouted. Then turned to North and gestured at him saying, “Come on!” they ran to Foggy and gave him a sound, and gentle bashing. Before they striped the pipes off the frames and rode the bicycle back to Ponyville, or in Foggy’s case, ride and get a cart back to Huntersfield.

Author's Note

The Last of the Summer Wine episode Bicycle Made for Three is one of my absolute favourites. I had fun watching this again to adapt it.

Now some of you may ask, where did the bicycle’s come from? Well, apparently, we’ve had mention of them in episodes like Sisterhood Social and Gift of the Maud Pie and in Twilight Time we saw a unicycle, so there is a precedent from them.

Okay, you might have noticed a slight change in my writing style. This is because I’ve spent the last three months writing a story for my Fanfiction.net account. For those interest it’s a crossover of the Discworld books and Howl’s Moving Castle (using elements of both the original book and the anime film) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12943083/1/Promise-of-the-Discworld

And yes, I am promoting something none MLP related.

Big Guns

The Major looked at the urgent message from Captain Sentry.

Princess Twilight Sparkle has been admitted to Ponyville General in preparation of labour. Will, be at her side. Defer to Lt. White Heart until further notice.

White Heart, the newest transfer from the other Guards, a Day Guard from the Blues and Royals Dragoon Infantry. Princess Celestia decided with the requirements of raising three alicorn foals, Twilight and Flash would need relieving of duties.

Mayor Mare retained her responsibilities of governing Ponyville, as would the other civil leaders of the surrounding villages, but the Everfree Guard needed proper leadership.

However, the position could not be given to any existing members. Dauntless Doo’s various overly strict procedures gave him the designation of inflexible, while Chrome Blade seemed more suited to the ranks. Reverend Farthing could not be permitted leadership. And the less said about Burk and Burke the better.

As such, a trusted lieutenant trained in all forms of combat got transferred. Dragoons could serve as both armoured cavalry and light infantry. And White Heart, himself like Flash a veteran of the Troubles on the Gallop Islands of the Griffish Isles, and indeed, served under Flash as a sergeant in one of the fiercest battles, seemed the perfect candidate.

Major Fields only met the Unicorn guards-pony once up to then, so he couldn’t gauge White Heart’s chances. For now, he just continued reading the letter. This time one from the new lieutenant.

Royal Navy investigation concludes firework munitions safe to use, when ALL safety measures are adhered. Included strong condemnation toward Bluenose and his actions. Have ordered one 13-pounder quick-firing field gun for artillery use. Until facilities are built, the weapon shall be kept in Kimblewick Hall. Reserves allowed practice training; proper firing is forbidden. Possible future expansion of artillery shall be reviewed.

The Major would have understood the severity of those word if he knew what a 13-pounder field gun looked like.

A knock came from the door. Fields put the letter down. “Come in,”

The door opened, and Porter walked in, followed by a few Earth Ponies in uniforms consisting of beige coats and black peaked caps with the name ‘Pickford.’

Pickford’s Removal and Storage were a national firm of carriers, earliest records put the company’s founding to one Vehement Protector of Pickford, some village south of Trottingham, three centuries ago.

“A delivery of some kind, sir. I can’t quite understand it myself,” his magic held a clipboard aloof, the contents of which he read out, “It says, ‘A note from you, a call from us, a date is fixed, no worry or fuss. A Pickford cart, a gentle giant. The work is done for a satisfied client.’”

The Major did have a feeling what this, bizarre situational use of a rhyming poem, referred too, but the Zecora-like manner of the delivery sheet, and the language used, confused him. “A gentle giant?”

“Yes,” Porter said, tapping the board, “that’s what it says right here.”

The leader of the Pickford ponies, a rather short and high pitch voiced fellow groaned. “Look, just sign for it! I can’t hang about. We’ve got six more deliveries to make today,”

The Major nodded to Porter. “Can I just enquire what I’m signing for?”

“It’s got it on the chitty,” the lead Pickford said. “One Ordnance QF 13-pounder,”

“I thought so. The lieutenant messaged me just now about it.”

“Major!” Cold Steel yelled as he and Lucky Clover rushed in via the side door to the Stable Hall’s office. The old soldier continued, “There’s a beautiful firing piece out in the yard,” Clover nodded. “There’s a dirty great gun outside,”

“I know,” Major Fields said sighing the document, and he explained about White Heart’s order. “Quite why Pickford’s is doing the delivery I don’t know. Surely a detachment of the guards should have escorted it here,”

The Pickford leader took the clipboard back. “Short notice, and we say we’ll carry anything. Company legend says old Vehement was into arms trafficking during the Griffish Civil War,” he looked over the paperwork. “Seems in order,” he turned to his colleague, “Right lads, back to the cart,” the Home Guard members followed them out into the yard.

A long-barrelled machine with a pair of large metal cartwheels sat in the yard.

The Major’s mouth opened with a grin as he approached. “I say! Porter, look at this!”

Porter blinked at it. “Oh, yes. Rather a big one, isn’t it?”

“By Celestia. If Chrysalis comes near us, we’ll blow her sky-high! I wonder how it works?”

“I have no idea, sir. Steel? Have you any idea on how to handle these things?”

“No, sergeant. We never had a firing piece like that in Saddle Arabia. We had Rapid Fire heavy crossbows,” he began to directly address the Major, currently examining the controls of the Ordnance like Time Turner with his latest invention, “That was invented by a pony named Rapid Fire, you see, sir…”

Fields sighed and stood up, giving Steel the attention, he wanted when talking about his extensive military service. “We used to form a square with the Rapid Fire in the middle. When the Desert Ponies come curdling up with their blood cries, we used to duck down last minute, up came the crossbow. A pony would crank the thing, could shoot fifteen arrows in less than two minutes, the best archers could only do eleven, mind you, they’d be more accurate. You had to duck down quick; otherwise, you got the top of your helmet knocked off. Hence the expression, sir. Get your head down!”

“Yes, all right, Steel,” Fields said annoyed.

“Excuse me,” they all turned to see the lead Pickford waiting with a book on his back. “If you’re finished wasting time, I found this in the back of the cart. I think it’s the instruction manual,”

“Oh, splendid! Thank you very much,” took the book, put it to the ground and read the cover. “13-pounder QF Mark V, Mark 5 sorry, on Mark 1 mounting. Now,” he turned the page. “Yes, it’ll all here. ‘The gun crew consists of GL, SS, Trainer, Breach-worker and two loaders…’”

“Permission to speak, sir?” Steel asked. “It’d like to volunteer to be GL, SS, Trainer, Breach-worker and two loaders.”

“Yes, thank you, Steel,” the Major replied, unimpressed. “That’s the entire crew!”

“Perhaps,” Porter suggested, “they explain it all in a later chapter,”

“Yes, well I’ll read on. ‘Position for close-up,’”

“Oh,” Steel said. “Close-up, that reminds me of a sketch we did for troop morale back in the day. It was this comedy drill scene, you see. The drill sergeant came up and ordered ‘Close-up!’ so we all lifted our clothes up,”

Lucky Clover, presently leaning against one wheel, snorted. “I bet that was hilarious,”

Fields rolled his eyes. “Let’s concentrate the matter in hoof, gentle-colts,” he returned to the book. “‘Number one, the Gun Layer…’ ah, GL you see, Gun Layer. ‘Number one, the Gun Layer sits at the elevating wheel, on the left,’” taking a glance at the schematics provided and comparing them to the controls, the Major saw the wheel with handle in front of the seat to the left. Fields pointed to it, “That’s there,”

“Permission to speak, sir?”

“Permission denied, Steel. You were going to volunteer to sit at the elevating wheel on the left? Correct?” slightly deflated Steel nodded. “Yes, Major.”

“I personally feel that Number One Section of the Home Guard has done more than its fair share of frontline action these past eighteen months. Other members of the platoon should be given the spotlight as it were. Would you agree, Porter?”

“I really have no opinion on the matter, sir,” Fields cleared his throat and shut the book. “Put this in the library, would you, Porter?” he looked to Steel and Clover. “You two are dismissed for the day. I need to report the delivery and my recommendations to Lieutenant Heart.”

Clover, Porter and Steel saluted and walked away. Major Fields began to move off, then stopped, he looked back at the gun. “We should’ve moved it to a safe place,” groaning the Major hitched the weapon to the second set of wheels, harnessed himself and struggled to pull the over three hundred-kilogram gun into the Stable Hall.

Spike showed the Major through the castle to the new adjutant office White Heart set up.

In the past couple of months, Spike regressed to his original size, but retained his wings. Something about a relapse of the magics Twilight unleashed in her magical entrance exam.

Indeed, readjustments were happening around town. Pinkie’s parents came visiting Sweet Apple Aches to discuss something important with Big Mac, something about a stone. A few days later, the farmer and Miss Cheerilee broke off their causal relationship, and a Miss Sugar Belle became a frequent visitor. Prince Blueblood and Snowy unfortunately needed to return to Canterlot, but thankfully, he managed to take Aura on as his apprentice.

The dragon assistant knocked on the door.

“Come in, nearly finished,” Spike opened the door and announced, “Major Green Fields to see you, White,”

“Thanks,” came the simple reply. Lieutenant White Heart occupied himself with press-ups beside his desk. A unicorn with a slightly off-white coat, ending at his black hooves somewhat shaggily, and a two-tone mane of golden and dull blonde.

The Major suppressed a suspicious hum, as both his unruly mane and fetlocks must break uniform regulation. Still, he did make a commissioned officer’s post, so someone must have passed him through despite straddling the line on some minor rules. Though in the back of his head, Fields wondered about the principles and setting a precedent.

White Heart stood up and picked up a towel with his magic. “Begin reporting, Major,”

“The 13-pounder has arrived at the Hall, sir. For training proposes, I recommend a younger detachment of the Reserves,”

“Agreed. Anything else?”

“No, sir. Though I feel we should also train the crew on handling maintenance, we can’t keep relying on Doctor Time Turner.”

“Suppose not. As for crew, who’d you recommend? Nine are required,”

“Nine? The manual only told us six?”

“Hold something back for emergencies,”

“I see. Well, off the top of my head. For Earth Ponies, Ernie, Amaranthine, Blue Bonnet, Crest Crown and Felix. From the Unicorns, Bright Bulb and Cold Front would do. As for Pegasi, I’d say Spearhead for one, he certainly has guard experience, it might be good to put him in charge, and Dust Devil. They would all fit.”

“Three are mares.”

“We’ve allowed mares in the Home Guard from the beginning. Zecora and Vigil were founding members, then after the Mare’s Section was disbanded hopefuls joined and put the numbers up to thirty. There have been mares in the Royal Guard proper, during the Grand Galloping Gala I spoke with Fleur de Lis,”

“Very well. Begin practise training. Shall review efforts later. Need to speak with Fluttershy this afternoon,” Fields nodded and returned to Kimblewick.

A few days later Major Fields assembled the nine chosen.

For some reason, Screaming Lord Sutch came visiting and decided to watch.

Bright Bulb, a relative of the inventor and business-pony Bright Light, volunteered to be the maintenance pony on the gun.

Ernie, the largest of the bunch, due to his love of pancakes, he in fact run a shop selling them, competing with a very distant cousin of Pinkie Pie’s, a fez wear pizza provider, asked to be the Gun Layer, as sitting down would be suitable for him. It took a bit of a struggle to get his legs over and him seated, the Major ended up with his left foreleg stuck underneath Ernie’s flank and the seat.

Sutch snorted. “Now you’ve got him in there I should leave him for the duration,”

Fields ignored this and began reading the manual from where he left off, with Spearhead as his second-in-command, given the rank of corporal, locking over his shoulder. The brown Earth Pony artist may have retired from the Royal Guard, but he like lifestyle, so he joined the Reserves during the expansion.

“Right,” Fields began, “now, ‘Number two, the Breach-worker sits on the right in line with the breach,” seemingly referring to the pole running down the back to pivot the weapon. Felix volunteered and began to sit down, before Amaranthine stopped him, so she could move a handle out of the way of his behind.

“‘Number three, the Louder stands to the rear of number one,’ that Ernie,”

Spearhead looked to Blue Bonnet. “Care to be the Loader, Blue?”

Blue nodded and walked up behind Ernie. The Major turned a page. “‘Number four, the Trainer sit at the trailing wheel to the right.”

“Dusty?” Spearhead asked. The Pegasus mare nodded and took her seat.

“‘Number five, the Loader stands at the rear of three,’”

Crest Crown didn’t need ordering, he asked, “Shall I get a shell?”

“Yes,” Spearhead said. “Get one of the practice shells,” the Major glanced at him, “We’ve only got practice shells, why do you need to specify? Besides, practice or not, any shell should be treated with care,” he returned to the book, “‘SS at the sights,’ now I wonder what SS stands for?”

“Well, Major,” Spearhead said, speaking out loud, “Sight Superintendent, do you think?”

“Possibly. I’ll see if there’s a glossary in this later. Sight Superintendent will work for now,”

“Cold Front, that’ll be you. All clear so far?”

While every-pony else nodded or spoke in agreement, Ernie glanced back. “It’s not very luxurious, sir,”

The Major rolled his eyes. “It’s not supposed to be, Ernie, this is for the battlefield,” he returned to the manual. “Now, ‘Action. Clear away obstructions to the loading of the gun.’”

Sutch scoffed. “You’d better get Ernie out of the way for a start,”

Fields looked at him. “I’ll be speaking with Miss Applejack about your behaviour. ‘Once clear, open the breach,’”

“Felix,” Spearhead ordered. “Opened the breach,”

“Right, sir, right, sir,” Felix put his hoof to the handle and tugged. However, the breach door refused to open. “It’s stuck, sir.”

“Give him a hoof, Blue,” Blue tried to pull at it, but the breach remained stubbornly in place. Felix glanced back. “It’s all gummed up sir,”

“Let me have a look,” Spearhead said, he reached in and tried. But the breach door wouldn’t opened.

“Sorry,” Sutch said, walking up, the comedian pulled down a latch and opened the breach. “You had the safety catch on,” he then walked away, muttering, “Luna, if this lot goes to war then God help us all…”

Silently the gun crew watched with silent fury and indignation.

Major Fields glared. “Always some know-it-all ready to interfere, isn’t there?”

Blue Bonnet added, “It’s our gun,” and Felix nodded. “He’s a troublemaker, sir.”

Spearhead shook his head. “If he expected us to know how this weapon works first time, then he’s got some very high standards. This entire session is to get acquainted with the thing,”

“All right,” the Major said, opening to book once more. “Let’s get carry on. ‘Breach-worker reports, ‘Bore clear,’”

“That’s you, Felix,”

“Right, sir,” he peered inside. “Bore clear,” Felix said, in a chant-like tone, which he repeated two more times. Spear tapped him on the shoulder. “All right, Felix, just once is enough, and in your normal way of talking.”

Fields shook his head and read out again, “‘The Loader places the shell within the bore, and says ‘Gun loaded,’ to the Breach-worker,”

Crest passed the practice shell to Blue, who then crouched down and pushed the round into the breach. When he stood up, he announced, “Gun loaded to the Breach-worker,”

“No, Blue,” Spearhead clarified, “Just, ‘Gun loaded,’” Blue then shrugged. “Just gun loaded,” both Spear and the Major’s glare told him to stop playing about.

Shaking his head, the Major returned to the manual. “It says, ‘The loader must take extreme caution to ensure his or her hooves are out the breach, when the Breach-worker works the breach,’” Blue presented his foreleg hooves to Spearhead for inspection. Spearhead examined them for any damage. “Good,” he said, and Blue returned to his position.

“‘As soon as his hooves are clear he calls to the Breach-worker…’” Fields paused, despondently. “The corner of the page is torn out,” Field turned to the page to check. Blue then glanced to him. “Why do I say that, sir?”

“Say what?”

“The corner of the page is torn away?”

“I mean this part of the page is missing,” Field said, fuming at Blue’s stupidity.

“In that case,” Spearhead said, a little despondently, “we’ll never find out what Blue calls.”

Amaranthine suggested, “How about this?” and then in a chant-like manner similar to Felix’s mistake earlier said, “Hooves away!”

Major Field looked at her unimpressed. “This is a field gun, Amaranthine, not Ben Gun,”

Crest Crown then spoke up, “If Blue doesn’t get his hooves out of the way maybe he should say ‘Ouch!’” Field glared at him. “We’ve already had Sutch provide a satirical commentary, we’d don’t need you starting another one. Now we want something brief and to the point,”

“How about,” Spearhead began, “Toe walls out?”

“Yes,” the Major said. “Very good, Toe walls out will do for now. Say that, Bonnet,”

“Toe walls out!”

“Good. ‘Breach-worker closes the breach.’ Close the breach…” the slam of the shutting metal interrupted the Major’s order to Felix. The Pegasus then stood up and looked at Fields. “Shut up, sir!” the Major blinked. “What did you say?”

“Shut up, sir. The breach is shut up.” Fields groaned. “There’s nothing in the manual about say that,” he said, tapping the page.

“Well,” Felix said, a little embarrassed, “I thought it was rather military.”

Spearhead shook his head. “Speaking as a former military stallion, I thought it was quite rude.”

Ernie glanced behind to the Major. “How about, once more into the breach?”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous!” Fields snapped, before he returned to the book. “Now, ‘On the order, Fire, the Gun Layer pulls his lanyard,’ that’s you Ernie,” the pancake cook proceeded to pull at the piece of string running under his right epaulette. The Major groaned and pointed the thicker string attached to the barrel. “That one, there,”

“Oh,” Ernie said, unsure. “You mean you want me to make it, go off, sir?”

“Yes. Felix watch out for the kick,” Ernie glanced back. “You want me to kick him too, sir?”

“The recoil from the gun,” he decided to carry on. “So, now, we all know how the weapon works,” he ignored the confused glances, but acknowledged the silence, “Splendid. So, we’ll have a little practice,”

“That’s all very well, Major,” Amaranthine said. “But what exactly are we aiming at?”

“Ah,” the Major looked up and out at the fields and roads. He pointed to something in the distance. “See that train in the distance. That is an enemy supply train. You lay on that, I’ll just work out the range and inclination,” Fields took the book and walked ahead of the weapon. He unfolded a page and studied it, comparing his position to the train. “Range, say, seven-hundred yards, angle of inclination, two-point-five degree,”

Felix glanced to Ernie, “Ern? Do you have the inclination?”

“No, I’m perfectly fine at the moment,”

Spearhead smiled and shook his head. “No, Ernie,” he pointed to a dial, beside the pancake maker. “Look at that dial and make sure it says two-point-five,”

Meanwhile, the Major looked at the other page. “From here the weapon should be facing at eleven o’clock, turn it left that way,” the Major held out his foreleg. “Ready? Aim for the target and fire!”

Felix called from behind, “I wonder do that if I were you, sir?”

“Why?” Fields turned around, only to end up staring down the barrel. Quickly and scurried to the side and glared at the gun crew.

A week later, Lieutenant Heart asked the gun crew to bring the 13-pounder into the park for a public demonstration, using blanks.

Cold Steel, with Time Turner’s help, made a camouflage cover to try and make it look more like a bush. As the rest of the platoon put the cover over and weighed it down with sandbags, Spearhead did not look happy.

The town dignitaries came to watch. Rarity with Midnight and Applejack and Sutch included.

Spearhead saluted the Major. “Permission to carry on, sir?”

Sutch glanced to Midnight. “Carry on, is just about the right for this,”

Spearhead assembled the gun crew. Before start he glanced to the Major, “I think for this we should remove the net,”

“I don’t think that’s very good thinking, Spear,” Fields said. “The whole point of it is camouflage. What’s the point of hiding it, when the enemy aren’t here to see it, and then revealing it when they will? We get the gun operational, then whip the net off at the last moment to bombard the enemy with deadly fire.”

“Its just the detachment has never trained with it on. I am the leader of this section, I’ve been training with them, I know what they are and aren’t capable of.”

Fields sighed. “Oh, very well, section, Corporal. You give the command,”

“Thank you, Major. Take the cover off,” the platoon scrambled to comply, sandbags were thrown in a chain. Caramel and Lucky lifted the net off showing the townsfolk the polished metals and crisp, spotless paintwork.

Spearhead stood forward looked for an open space among crowd and barked the orders. “Enemy encampment to the right! Range five-hundred yards. Action!”

Sutch turned to Midnight. “The enemy camp will be range ten yards by the time they’re read,” Applejack give the Buckminster a kick.

While the Pearly Prince joked the nine ponies rushed to their places. Felix took the safety catch off and opened the breach. “Bore clear,” he called as Crest rushed up with one of the twenty-five blank shells. Quickly he gave it to Blue, who in turn pushed it up the bore. “Gun loaded. Toe walls out!”

Cold Front using her provided map looked at the sights. “One-point-two o’clock. Inclination two degrees,” Dusty and Crest adjusted the position. Cold singled them to stop. “Ready, Corporal,” she called.

“Fi…”

“Wait!” someone shouted.

Spike flapped down to the ground with a scroll.

White Heart and Major Field looked at him annoyed. The lieutenant asked, “What is the meaning of this?”

“I’ve got new from the hospital,” he cleared his throat. “Prince Twilight Sparkle has given birth to three healthy Alicorn colts. With weights of eight pounds and ten ounces, seven pounds and twelve ounces and seven pounds and nine ounces.”

Squeals and cheers pervaded through the crowd. Rarity hugged Applejack, before proceeding to shake her, acting like an excited Pinkie Pie. “We must go the hospital at once!” before Midnight, Sutch or Applejack could say anything, Rarity dragged the farm pony with her. Spike followed taking flight, getting joined by Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.

The Major smiled. “That’s splendid news,” he turned to White Heart. “May we turn his demonstration into a twenty-one-gun salute in honour of the royal birth, sir?”

“An excellent suggestion, Major,”

“You know what to do, Spearhead.”

“Yes, sir,” Spearhead saluted. “Gun ready? Fire!”

The boom of fire and sparkles wowed the crowd. Quickly the gun crew set up for the next round.

While nursing the bruise on his foreleg, Flash glanced to the window and counted the shots.

On the bed, Twilight, tried, teary-eyed but triumphant, gazed lovely at the three wrapped up bundles at her side. The three fouls rested peacefully, unaware of the booms from the outside world.

“Such good boys,” Twilight mumbled. She kissed the new Crown Prince of Everfree on his horn, making the colt yawn adorably. His muzzle resembled Flash’s through with a coat with mixed Twilight’s purple with the middling blue of her father’s, Night Light. A small tuff of a mane, with both purple and blue fluffed his head, like Shining Armour’s mane. “Even Shine,”

The middle boy looked like a copy of Flash, expect for a darker orange coat and a purple streak to his mane. “Solar Sentry,”

Finally, the youngest of the trio. Almost a male version of Twilight, if not for the orange stripe to his name instead of the purple. “Praiseworthy,” named for one of the seventy disciples of Silver Light.

Twilight looked at her three sons. What would the future hold for them?

With a smile on her face, the Princess of Friendship went to sleep.

Author's Note

Sorry that I've not been active with chapters.

Once again, I've been focused elsewhere. On other writing projects and job hunting.

Also, the end of the show sort of dis-motivated me to continue with writing for MLP. I still read and watch fan related stuff, but I've lost interest in writing story for this particular franchise. Especially with the contradictions I made. So I decided to fix some of those to align with show better.

I'll keep this on hiatus, however do not expect any further updates.

The First of Many Changes

Love may wait for no one, but Twilight Sparkle currently waited for her love.

Well she couldn’t say love, neither of them admitted it, hay, neither of them really got a chance to talk about it. Come to think of it thing she may have acted a little hastily. But then again, she did have things thrust upon her suddenly too.

About a week ago, she returned to Equestria from the Changeling Kingdom with papers to seal an alliance between the two-former enemy nation. During the journey, she questioned herself about her place in the world, did she have to be a slave to destiny?

While stopping at the Crystal Empire she came across her, possible love, and learnt about his adherence to the Silver Enlightenment, the largest religious movement in Equestria, though just saying it the largest doesn’t mean it is huge among the citizenry, it is in fact quite underground, but still the largest.

Interested she researched it and read the scripture of the Enlightenment, the Holy Books, and found herself very intrigued by it. Through it, and her, again, possible love’s explanation she found out she did have a choice in life, her destiny just existed as a far-off boundary, but she did have miles of space to build a life in, and she hoped a life she could enjoy.

Then when she went to Canterlot she told her mentor Princess Celestia of her findings, and found out far more about her mentor’s personal life and about Alicorns altogether and she decided to become Silver Enlightened.

Finally, Celestia said it was about time Twilight took over her own Kingdom.

Twilight worked out the area to be included, with Ponyville as the capital, it’s surrounding area, including the Pie Family Rock Farm and the Everfree Forest, including the Castle of the Two Sisters, with the Tree of Harmony most importantly, would become the Everfree Kingdom or EK for short. It would run like the Crystal Empire, Twilight had the right to govern the region herself, but Celestia and Luna could veto her decisions.

Twilight even plan to create the first proper church for the Silver Enlightenment, on the mainland at least, the Church of Everfree.
No decree about the formation came yet but Twilight did discuss it with her friends and Mayor Mare since she hoped they would play a part in helping her run the Kingdom.

Princess Luna pointed out the Princess of the Friendship did not have a contingency of the Royal Guard. Twilight could argue she could take care of herself, but then again recent events showed perhaps not, so she didn’t. She did take the opportunity to request one guard specifically, the one who show here about the Enlightenment and the one she currently waited for, her, possible love, Flash Sentry.
Technically she didn’t really know much about this Flash Sentry, the one of Equestria, but she kind of knew him, which made her worried.
Almost a year ago, she went to the Crystal Empire and ended up going to this other world full of creatures called “Humans”, and the world included human versions of every-pony she knew, her closest friend, Celestia and Luna, even most recently she met her Human self, and she found herself falling for the Human Flash Sentry.

After her adventures, she returned to Equestria, and literally bumped into the pony Flash Sentry, a guard in the Crystal Empire, though his armour for some reason resembled the Canterlot Royal Guard not the Crystal Guard, she could probably ask about that when he arrived.
A bell rang, then suddenly she heard some-pony fall over bringing her out of her thoughts. She rushed to the Station Master’s house, which sat next to the station, just as the Station Master rushed out putting his hat on.

“Are you alright?”

“Forgive me Princess can’t spend my day chatting, our signal pony’s gone to a school reunion up in Canterlot, so Perks must be about it.” He rushed to the level crossing and the points switches.

“Perks? Who Perks?”

“Me Princess!” He called at the gates “I’m Perks!” he then quickly proceeded to open the for gates with the speed and dexterity of a silent film comedian, Twilight could almost hear the piano music playing as Perks rushed over to the levers of the points and pushed one back into place with the others before pulling another toward him. He then jumped onto the platform and pulled out his pocket watch from his waistcoat “Right on time, all the way from the Crystal Empire.”

The train whistled as his pulled in. Perks called out “Ponyville Station. Ponyville. Any out for Ponyville?”

Twilight looked out on both sides of the platform, in anticipation. The steam of the locomotive filled its end of the platform. She heard door closes and ponies leave the coaches. The ponies who passed Twilight bowed their heads in respect but Twilight didn’t notice them, not out of rudeness, they could see by her expectant stare as she waited.

Perks began helping with suitcases and bags too big and heavy for the alighting passengers to carry on their own.

The world appeared to blur around Twilight as she wondered. Did she get the right train? Did something happen to Flash on the way? Could he have refused at the last minutes? Or did something last minute happen in the Crystal Empire? If so what? And were her BBBFF Shining Armour, Cadance and dear little Flurry Heat alright?

It couldn’t be Chrysalis? Could it? Last time she saw her she disappeared after swearing revenge on her former student, and good friend Starlight Glimmer, why attack the Crystal Empire? Maybe to draw out Twilight and her friends, capture them, and force Starlight to rescue and get captured in the process.

She hoped Flash was okay, she could only imagine what he must have gone through when Chrysalis and her Changelings attacked the Crystal Empire. How did the Royal Guard react when it came to light? She knew some of the Changelings escaped. She’d recently heard two got captured in Bridle City Port.

“Right away Mr Chalk!”, Twilight turned behind her when Perks called out.

“Thank you, Mr Perks!” the guard called back from his van before he blew his whistle loud and waved his green flag. The train whistled and started moving. The steam still filled the platform, and indeed it grew thicker.

Tears began to form in Twilight’s eyes as she looked back at the cloud, could she have been right?

Slowly as the steam flew away a silhouette appeared. Twilight blinked.

The steam faded away. A stallion stood on the end of the platform. Beside him a large trunk, a guitar in its carrying case, and a couple of saddlebags over his body. He turned to the Princess.

The tears fear, but for quite a different reason to why they formed. Her heart summersaulted. Twilight took a step forward, then another, and another, before entering a gallop with a happy cry “Flash!”

The Royal Guard member opened his wings a bit shocked. Finding an Alicorn Princess with her hooves wrapped around his neck, it took almost his full strength from his training to keep himself from falling over. He couldn’t quite believe it. Did Princess Twilight truly fall for him, him of all ponies?

Twilight let go and looked at his stunned face, she giggled “Flash Sentry.”

He stood up straight, a solider to the end. Twilight smiled “You are now hereby part of the Everfree Guard.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“You will accompany me back to the Castle.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“And you don’t need to be so formal, you’re out of uniform.”

Flash blinked and looked to his trunk, he blushed and rubbed the back of his neck “I guess not.”, Twilight smirked and reached to his trunk “It’s alright Princess, I’ll handle my own stuff.”

“Twilight please, you’re not on duty.”, Flash rolled his eye “As you command Twilight.”, they both shared a laugh before Flash took the trunk’s handle with one of the wings, thankfully it rolled on wheels, and carried his guitar in his mouth.

Leaving the station Flash looked around the place and smiled. Twilight looked at him and titled her head “You look as if you recognise the place.”, Flash nodded and took the guitar out his mouth “I was born here.”, Twilight’s eyes widened “Really?”

“Yeah, learned to fly at five, kicked clouds at age six. Didn’t really bring in the bits, nor did my music so I joined the Guard.”

“How long have you been a Guard?”

“Let’s see,” he looked up and tap his wing tip on his chin “must be about seven years, three in Canterlot, plus my training, two in the Griffish Isles, then a six-month tour in the Griffon Lands and then I through officer training then got transferred to the Crystal Empire. Although until recently I was back in Canterlot for special training, so I missed Flurry Heart’s birth and the Crystalling.”

Twilight look at him closely and blushing said “But, you can’t be more than twenty! Plus, Cadance said you’d only recently joined the Guard.”, he smirked “I think Princess Cadance meant I was recently transferred to the Crystal Guard. As for being so young, that’s why I went to Canterlot to sign up, they have trouble estimated the age of a Pegasus, in Cloudsdale they know to count the feathers on your wing, new-borns start with eight and you get two more on each wing about every year. I was also a fast grower as a teenager so the count fluctuated.”

Twilight blinked, blushed and looked at her wings, both to shield her embracement of her thoughts of Flash, developing, and to count her feathers. Her eyes widened and returned to normal a little surprised “No one told me that when I got my wings.”

Flash shrugged “I guess no one thought it would be important, that and I don’t think anyone wanted to offend you, Princess.”, she rolled her eyes “Come on, let’s get to the Castle.”

Flash nodded and almost put the handle of his guitar back into his mouth when he heard someone shout “Bro!”, next thing he got tackled and landed on his back, he looked up to see an Earth Pony colt, with a coat and mane almost identical just slightly dark, Flash smirked and narrowed his eyes “Come here you!” he grabbed the colt, got him into and gave him a deep rub on his noggin, ruffling the kid’s mane up, all the while the kid laughed.

Twilight watched in amazement ‘First Base is Flash’s little brother?’, she knew the name of this little colt thanks to both Pinkie Pie and the Cutie Mark Crusaders. And not so long ago she tried visiting him in hospital when he and some other foals contracted the horsey hives. Up until now she never noticed the resemblance, and now she metaphorically kicked herself for not seeing it before. Then another thought struck her ‘How old must he have been when Flash joined the Guard?”

Flash let go of First and stood, then he knelt to speak at eye level “I’ve got Guard duty to do Sport. I’m Princess Twilight’s new Guard you see, but tell Mon and Dad I’ll be round for dinner.”

“Cool! See you later.” And the colt ran off.

Flash narrowed his eyes at the Castle, it looked more suited for the Crystal Empire than here in Ponyville, just one more thing to get used to. ‘If I remember right, go north-east from here and we reach Saddle Lake.', he turned back to the town, quite a distance, but it would be good exercise to stretch his wings and his legs.

They entered the Castle and Twilight introduced Flash to Spike and Starlight. Then she turned to him “Flash can we talk in private?”

“Of course, whatever you need.”, she nodded and turn to the two “Is it alright if you two take Flash’s stuff to his room?”

Spike shook his head “It’s no problem Twilight.” He took both the trunk and the guitar. Starlight raise an eyebrow but said nothing, she charged her horn and took the saddlebags and followed Spike.

Flash looked around “This place looked a whole lot smaller on the outside.”

Twilight shrugged and walked to the downward stairs “I don’t question it myself, I've always known magic distrots space in unusal ways. The Tree of Harmony gave it to me, and we don’t know much about the tree.”

“Like Pinkie then, don’t question it.”, Twilight turned around “How many of the girls down you know?”, Flash paused “Well, Pinkie because every-pony in town knows Pinkie. I never really went to Carousel Boutique so I don’t really know Miss Rarity. Applejack, me and Dad would buy apple off on market day, her, Big Mac or Granny Smith. Fluttershy kept to herself generally but I’d see her, but I knew to respect her personal space so I only ever gave her a hello when we passed, being neighbourly you know? And I think Rainbow Dash must have arrived after I left to join the Guards.”

“That’s odd because when we, bumped into each up in the Crystal Empire last year the girls didn’t recognise you.”

“Well, firstly I was in uniform, so my mane was covered, second it’s had been years since they saw me, I changed with my training, and I’m not exactly a standout looker.”, he defiantly took the Cloudsdale looks of his mother.

“I don’t know,” Twilight said stepping forward “I think you’re quite handsome.”

Flash blinked and blushed “Thank you?”, he cleared his throat and regained his composure “You, wanted to talk with me in private?”
She nodded and continued down the stairs.

Flash followed and found himself in a laboratory/ study area, then he spied one item specifically “So this is where the mirror went.”, both him stood a mirror with a horseshoe design, around it all these bizarre contraptions of both magical and scientific nature which for both a Pegasus and solider just made him confused.

Twilight walked up “You knew about it?”, he nodded “I was ordered to guard it once or twice before you arrived. Said it was such a high priority that it needed to be guarded but the best, so, only officers were posted to guard it.”

“You’re an officer?”, he nodded “Captain Armour is Captain of the Crystal Guard and as a Prince is de facto Head-Captain of the Guard when in Canterlot, I was one of his Lieutenants with a recommendation by my trainer as a possible Royal Knight.”

“Royal Knight?”

“Wow!” he bit his lip “Don’t take this the wrong way Princess but you are seriously naïve.”

Twilight blushed “Maybe I skimmed some of the book Princess Celestia sent me about being a Princess, I never asked to be one.”

He nodded “The Royal Knights are a special order that existed long before Princess Luna became Nightmare Moon, so say they even date to before the Unicorn Kingdom, only Ponies who have done extraordinary deeds, or are trained under a current member can be accepted into their ranks. In military terms a Royal Knight is secondly only to a member of the Royal Family. Rumours about you and the other Element Barriers being accepted abounded until your ascension and creation of the Council of Friendship.”

Twilight gulped, she felt herself heating up “You, were recommended?”

“Doesn’t mean I’ll get it, I’ve done nothing extraordinary, I’m just a Pegasus from a humble background with an amazing talent as a protector.”

Twilight could name a couple of things which could be considered extraordinary, first catching her eye, and second opening her to the Silver Enlightenment, she would need to tell him about her baptism too.

But about talent “How did you get your cutie mark?”

“Oh, it was years ago, I not sure if I can remember, so much happened since.”

“How can you not remember the day you got your cutie mark? I remember as one of the happiest days of my life.” She began recounting the tale of how she got hers.

After witnessing Princess Celestia at the Summer Sun Celebration, she went into self-study of magic until her parents, Night Light and Twilight Velvet got her enrol into Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. Then she needed to prove she was a gifted Unicorn by hatching a dragon egg with magic as her entrance exam. At first, she couldn’t, and then a huge explosion of both sound and colour erupted, later identified as Rainbow Dash’s Sonic Rainboom, and unleashed her magic. This brought the attention of Princess Celestia who claimed her down to stop the chaos of magic she caused, and hatched Spike. The Princess offered Twilight the position of her protégée, which of course she accepted. Finally, Celestia pointed out Twilight’s cutie mark, making her so excited she jumped about for joy.

Flash chuckled “You’re really cute jumping about like that.”

Twilight stopped and blushed, she’d done it again. When she told her story to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, she ended up jumping about the town enraptured in her memories, the townsfolk asked her if she was okay, and the Crusaders disappeared long before she got stopped. Thankfully this happened long before she ascended. And thankfully now only Flash witnessed this.

She turns to his scowling and blushing “You still haven’t told be how you got yours.”

Flash chuckled “Sorry, yes, I haven’t. I kind of lied saying I’m from humble origins, yes, I was born here in Ponyville, but my ancestry is more. I’m descended from Sir Defender Warden.”

Twilight’s eyes widened “The Brigadier!”

He nodded “Yes. One of the greatest military commanders in the history of Equestria. He in fact commanded the ground forces for the assault on the Crystal Empire when Sombra took power. Ironic that I became a Guard there. After that he help defend Equestria from all manner of supernatural threats. He became a Royal Knight too.”

“How do you know about the Crystal Empire? Princess Celestia said she had limited knowledge of it, even though she and Luna personally defeated Sombra and knew it work on joy and happiness, though she did say the rest of Equestria lived by it too.”

Flash chuckled “From the Brig’s journals and memoirs, it happened one-thousand, one hundred and forty-seven years ago, the Empire was very isolated, founded on mentality of protecting itself, the only knowledge Princess Celestia could get from I think must have been from the rare messages from its Royal Family and whatever knowledge about it still existed after its disappearance.”

“Oh, that makes sense. But you’ve read the Brigadier’s journals?”

“We’ve kept them in the family. The Brig’s bloodline was very narrow.”

“But Flash,” Twilight said narrowing the gap between them “having an important ancestor isn’t that important, when I was younger I tried to see if I was descended from any-pony important but Princess Celestia said it didn’t matter about what I had in my blood, it’s our own powers and lives now that are important, not the dead.”

Flash nodded “Yeah, I’m not trying to accomplish what the Brig accomplished, I’m doing what I feel is right for me. When I learned about him, and his dedication to protecting Equestria I knew I should follow his example. When I said to Mom and Dad I wanted to be a protector like the Brig, my cutie mark appeared, one quick decision to become a protector, hence the flash of lightning and the shield.”

“Oh.” Twilight realised she stood very close to Flash and back off slightly and cleared her throat “I’ve still need to discuss something with you. The conversation just got side-tracked.”

“It happens. What do you want to ask?”

She pointed to the mirror “Do you know what the mirror is?”

“Something about it being a magical portal to some other world. And that you went through it.”, Twilight nodded “It’s weird there, the world has copies of every-pony, only their bipedal and hairless creatures, like apes or something.”

Flash narrowed his eyes “That sounds familiar. While in Canterlot I sometime heard a student of Celestia’s School talk about such creatures, Humans she called them.”

“Lyra Heartstring?”

“That’s her, do you know her?”

“We were classmates and she moved to Ponyville not long after I did.”

“Really?”, Twilight nodded “She is really the only pony beyond my closest friends, the Princesses, Shining Armour and now you who know about my adventure there. She told me she learned about Humans from a bedtime story.”

“So why do you want to tell me this?”

“Well, during my adventure in the human world, I met…”

“My counterpart?”

“Yes, and well…”

“You got a crush on him?”, she nodded “And I both wanted and dread the idea of us in a relationship. Would my feeling be for your or for him? I may have been a little hasty in requesting you as my Guard.”

“Okay, what about him do you know?”, Twilight blinked “Actually, not much. I know his name, Flash Sentry as well, the fact he seems to like me, and how good he plays the guitar.” She grinned but then she faltered “There’s one similarity between you two.”

Flash shook his head “I wouldn’t call my guitar skills good, it’s just a hobby. I got my guitar as an anniversary present for becoming the apprentice of Sir Lionheart, one of the Royal Knights. Princess you already know more about me than him. I was born here, I’m just over twenty, I’m an Apprentice Knight, and I’m Silver Enlightened.”

Twilight nodded, think about it she did know more about this Flash then she did Human Flash. On the mention of the Silver Enlightenment she smiled “I think we can get back to the subject of,” she blushed “relationships later. I’ve got something to show you.”

Flash tilted his head but nodded. He followed Twilight up the stairs and through the Castle, his head darted around the cavernous hallways as his hooves clopped against the cold, almost mirror like floors, the cold of the floor almost stung, it made him partly wish he wore the shoe of his uniform “I’ve got to say you seem to know this castle like the back of your hoof.”

In truth, the talk with Twilight, though nonsensical as it sounded, it felt right within his soul. And he didn’t lie when he called Twilight cute when she jumped about the room. Admitted he did think her way out of his league, when he met her she already ascended and now he learns she has feelings for some alternative version of himself, but the feeling only surmounted to a crush. But she also seemed to harbour feelings for himself. The blush when she bumped into him the second time, yes, he could tell it came from embarrassment, but maybe also out of her feeling for him.

Twilight smiled “I don’t fully understand it, Starlight still has trouble getting around the place, so maybe it’s just an instinctual thing since it’s my castle? And maybe Spike since sign he’s nearly always with me just learned the castle layout by memory.”

“I’ll have to learn the layout too if I’m going to guard it while you’re here.”

Twilight smiled and stopped “Here we are.” She pushed the door open and looked to Flash “You go in first.”, Flash raised an eyebrow but nodded before trotting inside.

Twilight waited, then heard his gasp, she bit her lip. And she entered.

Inside, a bright crystalline gothic room, candles by every pillar, a few pew benches but most prominent on the back wall, a cross.
Twilight trotted up to a stunned Flash, his eyes blinking occasionally. His mouth open and bobbing like a fish. Twilight giggled “What do you think?”

Flash blinked again and looked to her “You did this? For, me?”

“Partly, you see, after I left the Crystal Empire and went to Canterlot I told Princess Celestia about my research into the Silver Enlightenment, and with her blessed I got baptised.”

Flash’s mouth hung open “You’re joking.”, she shook her head “I believe in one God, the Father the Almighty, maker of all that is seen and unseen. I believe in one Lord, Silver Light, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, Light from Light, True God from True God, begotten not made, of one being with the Father, through him all things were made.”

As Twilight recited the Bridle Creed Flash just stared amazed, finally he came to his senses and recited it with her. “For us and our salvation he came down was incarnate and made mortal. He was crucified under Sea Spear, suffered death and was buried, on the third day he rose again, in accordance with the scriptures he ascended as is seated at the right side of the Father. He shall come again in glory to judge the living and dead, and his kingdom will have no end.

“We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Giver of Life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son, who with the Father and Son is worshipped and glorified, who has spoken through the prophets. We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins, we look forward for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come. Amen.”

With their wings, they made the sign of the cross. Then Twilight noticed how close they suddenly became. She felt something deep within her pushing her, a bit of inspiration. She gulped and closed the gap.

Flash emotion skyrocketed. His wings shot open. His brain almost fell apart. Princess Twilight Sparkle, kissing him! Right here, right now! In the sigh of God! He then felt a shift in his soul, he found himself thinking, he like this. Suddenly Twilight did not seem so out of reach. He didn’t know how or why, but he just knew, it could work. He carried the kiss on. His wings came over and wrapped around her body. She squeaked. He liked the sound. He pulled her closer to him and deepened the kiss. His tongue tapped at her teeth. She opened.

She moaned as their tongues waltz, she couldn’t believe it. One moment she questioned her relationship with Flash, the next he’s accepting her kiss and upping it. She liked it.

He broke off, and put his forehead to hers.

They looked deeply into each other’s eyes, they conveyed more than words ever could.

To Flash, Twilight’s eyes greatly resembled those of Princess Cadance when she looked at Shining Armour, no question, the eyes of love. The most beautiful sight, he felt hypnotised by them.

Twilight could watch his gaze forever, the message they told her warmed her very being, she hoped she sent the same message back to him.
A cough echoed and the two ponies turned to the door.

Spike smirked “The girls are here Twilight. You’d better go down and tell about this, new arrangement while Flash gets his armour on.
The pair blushed. Twilight nodded and slowly walked away, she did look back at him and smiled.

Flash felt his heart skip a beat. When she left, he let out a sigh, he felt heavier somehow, as if Twilight literally lifted his spirits.

Spike walked up and tapped Flash on the shoulder. The Pegasus looked down at him “You’d better follow me to your quarters so you can get your armour on.”

Flash nodded. He took one glance back at the cross and smiled. He existed the chapel and followed the dragon down the hallway. He kept his smile.

Today, the rest of his life began.

Author's Note

Hello my friends and welcome to what has become my Magnum Opis fic for this site.
I just finished writing it, and I have dyslexia so and problems in proofreading would very kind of you to point out.

I've decided to only have mentions of Season 7 because I don't want to constantly rewrite bits here and there. So if something in this story contradicts something in contridicts an episode I will put this under Alternative Universe.

How Long is a Piece of String?

Early in the morning Cipher went out and about on his village rounds.

He posted couple of letters when Rainbow Dash came flying toward him. Cipher called out “Morning Rainbow, how was Bridle City?”
Yesterday the Council of Friendship and all the Princesses travelled to Bridle City Port, where Celestia chose to hold the Summer Sun Celebration. Unlike the last two years nothing truly terrible happened. No ancient foe suddenly appearing, no vines appearing from the ground and snatching the Royal Sisters.

The only point of interest from the Equestria Daily report came in the form of the teenage colt Ten Bits being awards the Clover Cross, the highest award for bravery outside of combat, awarded to him for almost sacrificing his life to push a smouldering tanker of cider out of the city, however he ended up blinded by the explosion. Unlike the Pink Heart, which Twilight specifically invented for the occasion after the Secret Invasion by Chrysalis.

Rainbow landed and grinned “It was awesome, me and Wonderbolts really wowed the crowd. And Ten Bits looked cool with Blake and my old sunglasses.”

Blake, the colt’s guide dog used to be one of the animals Fluttershy took care of, Cipher saw the Rottweiler a couple of times and Riolu made some conversation with him, but not the most sociable dog, but when Ten Bits came to Ponyville to recuperate the Rottweiler immediately wanted to be the colt’s guide dog.

As for the sunglasses Rainbow gave him her spare pair, her main pair were given to her by Soarin of the Wonderbolts as welcoming present.
Rainbow took to the air “Can’t spend all day with you, I got practice.” And she flew off.

Cipher chuckled and continued his way along the quiet street.

He reached the High Street to got to the Post Office, when he heard voices. One he recognised as Scootaloo and the other he assumed to be her father Chrome Blade of the Everfree Guard, Cipher didn’t see much of him as when he came across an Everfree Guard it would usually be Dauntless Doo.

And now something which he didn’t expect, Scootaloo signing, along with her father, a simple little chorus “Let’s go fly a kite… Up to the highest height… Let’s go fly a kite and send it soaring… Up through the atmosphere… Up where the air is clear… Oh, let’s go-o-o fly a kite!”
Chrome saw Cipher and stopped. Scootaloo smiled standing next to his with a kite in her hoof.

Cipher grinned “I didn’t know you sang Scootaloo, I thought you didn’t like that stuff?”

“Well, I did try to it for a talent contest, didn’t work out as we planned, but it wasn’t that terrible. But that song,” she glanced at her father and grinned “we used to sing it when we went kite flying,” she sighed “before Mom,” she lowered her head.

Chrome wrapped his leg around her.

Cipher raised an eye “Kite flying?”

Scootaloo looked at him amazed “You don’t know about kite flying?”, Cipher shook his head “We never did anything like that in the hive, it was all work to please Her Tragedy.”

Scootaloo then started explaining kite flying then her face faltered and she glanced at her tiny wings “Mom made me this kite. I don’t know if I’ll ever fly, but flying a kite gives me the feeling off.”

Chrome smiled and started singing “With a few bits for paper and string… You can have your own set of wings… With your hooves on the ground you’re a bird in flight… With your hoof holding tight… To the string of kite.”, the two of them sang the chorus as they walked off.
Cipher smiled ‘That’s so sweet. I wonder it Rainbow Dash knows? Maybe I should tell Fluttershy when I see her next.’ He then walked onwards to the Post Office.

On the way, he passed Nurse Redheart heading for the hospital. She smiled and waved at him “Morning Cipher.”

“Morning Nurse Redheart, no post for you today, but do say hello to Comet Tail for me.”, she smiled and nodded then resumed her walk to work. Comet Tail, a Unicorn Wizard, happened to be in a causal relationship with the Nurse, partly out of the many times he ended up injuring himself because of his spells, but it did appear the pair did care for each other.

Cipher entered the Post Office and as usual saw Muffins at the desk, beside her a pile of letters and parcels ready to be believed to the outer areas of Ponyville. However, her current predicament caused Cipher to laugh “You look busy.”

The Pegasus mare held in her hooves and over her wings tangled up loops of strings “Hello Cipher, give me a minute will you, until I’ve sorted this out.” She pulled at a loop to try and get it to unravel through, but then it caught on another loop and threatened to turn into a knot, her noise scrunched up and she frowned angrily “Oh, drat this string.” She started picking at the loops getting more frustrated.

Cipher walked up to the counter “Now they Muffins, you just want to take it slowly. Once you find the end…”

“Ha,” Muffins said, “that’s easier said than done.”

“Well it must have an end.”, she rolled her eyes, although they went in different direction “Now he tells me.” She held it out and Cipher frowned “Dear me, it does look a mess.” His magic took hold of the pile of post “Well, I’d better be on my way with this lot.” He chuckled and turned to the door “Good luck.”

“Bye.” Muffins called as the door opened and shut, then she started muttering to herself “I wonder if I could cut it into small pieces?”
Outside Cipher shut the back door to his cart and then hoped onto the front, “Right Riolu, ready for off?”, the Jakhowl looked up a little bored having waited for a long time, he nodded his answer. Cipher charged his magic and the cart slowly rolled. “Never mind about the wait Riolu, maybe they’ll be some rabbits in Windy’s fields, then you can have a good run.”

They speed out of the town and along the winding lanes.

The something caught Cipher’s attention “Hold tight Riolu.” He pulled on the reins to put the brakes on the magic and they stopped. He climbed out of the cart and expected the unusual thing across the road, a piece of string. ‘Whatever can that be doing there?’ He thought, he then chuckled ‘I hope it’s not a part of Muffin’s tangle.’ He picked up string with his magic an inspected the length, very long from the looks of it ‘I’d better wind this up before any-pony else gets caught in it.’ He started looping it and went to one side of the road, the string went over the wall and in the field sat the little ball at the end.

Riolu walked up to have a look, then put his paws into the loop. Cipher chuckled “I should have known you’d want to play.” He started winding the string over the ball end and thought about Riolu’s behaviour.

Though canine in appearance and having a love of bones and chasing rabbits, he could also have a few cat-like mannerisms, especially when he found a piece of string, both Cipher and Fluttershy found it very amusing and cute to find Riolu tangled up in a length of string. And Twilight found interesting for her study of the Jakhowl, of course in her notes she wrote could be an individual thing since Riolu is the only case study. Twilight did send word to Princess Celestia about this and how Cipher found Riolu in the Buffalo Reservations, but no word of any developments can back.

Of course, not every-pony found it so likeable. After making a special toy mouse for her own Persian cat Opalescence, or Opal for short, so she wouldn’t mess up Rarity’s threads, the Fashionista would not allow any risk and so barred Riolu from entering, any of her boutiques, be it Carousel in Ponyville, Canterlot Carousel, “Rarity for You” in Manehatten, and any future shops she opens.

Now this raises the question of why a Changeling would need to go into a clothes shop since his own illusion magic could allow him to assume a suit. Well, Cipher assumed he could make an illusionary suit from himself if he needed it, but he didn’t imagine he would be going to the Grand Galloping Gala anytime soon, few knew his Changeling royalty status and given the reputation of Changelings outside of the Royal Family and its inner circles well, it would cause a real fuss if not chaos, and since the Gala for the last two years ended up a mess Cipher did not want to be the cause of a mess at the Gala, when it did happen.

But Cipher returned to the string he wound. He reached the wall on the other side and the string just continued on “I think we’d better see where it goes to. I mean look.” He pointed out to the field as the string snake across it and into the next “It must be a very long piece of string,” he chuckled “maybe we’ll get an answer to that age-old question. Just like the question which came first, the chicken or the egg?”
Cipher never really understood the point of that as an example of a causality dilemma. As Petunia Paleo pointed out, the dinosaurs laid eggs, and modern biological studies of birds caused many to believe birds are in fact descended from dinosaurs, so in truth there existed eggs long before the first chicken ever hatched. And anyone who asked the question “Which came first: the chicken or the egg?” must have scrambled their brains.

Cipher flew over the wall and slowly made his way up and down the hilly fields “I feel like a yo-yo doing this, I even have the string. Come on Riolu it looks like being a long walk.”

After crossing another field or to they found a scarecrow in the middle of one of them hold the string for Cipher, more correctly the string wrapped and tangled around the scarecrow, much like how the string Muffins tried to sort out wrapped around her.

The scarecrow consisted of a massive ragdoll body with an old pair of overalls with a turnip head with a battered top hat, hay mane and tail. Cipher walked up and stared at it.

Per Twilight’s information, the Corvid family of birds, including crows are the most intelligent of birds, but how could something so intelligent mistake something like this for an actual pony? It’s not even put up so it looks fearsome, like with its hooves up ready for a round of boxing, no it’s head is slumped so he looks like he’s asleep and strung up on a cross, which if he understood the Silver Enlightenment right, from Flash and Twilight, is supposed to be the worst death imaginable.

As Cipher began unravelling the string he ended up spinning it around and the pole ploughed across the ground a couple of hooves like a spinning top, causing the top hat to fall off. But thankfully by the change in position it meant the string came lose a whole lot easier. Cipher wound the ball up and magically put the hat back in place “Sorry to leave you like this, but I must go. Take care turnip-head.” He chuckled and continued his quest, his hooves dug into the ground ‘My goodness, this field is muddy.’

He came to a wall. Riolu sat on it waiting for him. Cipher looked over the wall and gawked “How long is this piece of string?” He pulled at it and found it tightened being stuck on something, he sighed “Over we go.” He jumped and landed in a wild field full of thorny prickle plants, luckily given his tough hide he only got scratched and not poked. He continued through the wilderness and looked about ‘I’ve lost Riolu again.’ He soon reached the end of the thorns and found the Jakhowl sitting on a bunch of rocks at the top of the hill of the field. Cipher looked at him “Now Riolu, don’t go disappearing again, you’ll make me all worried.”, Riolu nodded and jumped off the rocks.

Cipher remained at the top of the hill taking a couple of breaths, all this walking. Most Changeling could fly as expertly as the average Pegasus pony, however since Cipher previous position in the court of Queen Chrysalis kept him confined and grounded he couldn’t fly for very long, plus as previously stated Changeling wing could tear if put to strenuous use. So, Cipher usually stayed on the ground only doing quick jumping flights.

He sat on the rock Riolu previously occupied and looked out at the scenery. He could see most of Ponyville, the Castle of Friendship sticking out, a good amount of the Everfree Forest with a small glimpse of the ruined spire of the Castle of the Two Sisters. Why did Celestia and Luna build their first castle there?

Maybe it started out as a small temple or something like it to protect the Tree of Harmony but the Royal Sisters under the guidance of Star Swirl the Breaded built the castle.

Cipher could ask Twilight about it, maybe the Journal the Royal Sister kept in their time there would shed some light on the matter. But right now, Cipher needed to get the string sort out. He got off the rock and made his way down the hill. He entered some undergrowth of bushes and tree ‘How much further does this string go?’, further it turned out as the Changeling emerged from the shrubbery and into a fill of grazing sheep.

He noticed a gate she instead of clambering over he simply opened the gate, stepped through it and shut it quickly so the sheep didn’t run away, though some would be able to, they stood on the string, it wrapped around their legs, and some of their faces, one even looked about to chew it.

Cipher started to pull and make his way, but the sheep kept on moving, and getting further tangled, Cipher start to grow frustrated “Can you all stand still for a minute while I sort this out?” He started to move as nimbly as he could to get through and not scare the sheep into moving further and cause more tangles.

Finally, he made it out of the woollen army and he glanced back “Bye-bye sheep.” He chuckled before continuing to wind the ball, he hummed as he did so. He reached a broken wall, the string went through the gap and up another hill to a tall tree where it finally disappeared into the leaves and branches, he looked up ‘Well, there must be something special at the end of a very long piece of string. Whatever can it be?’

Then he heard some sobbing, and the sound of fast fluttering wings.

Cipher peered around and his eyes widened.

Scootaloo, with a face mixed with sadness, frustration and determination jumped at the tree and beat her wings at a speed to rival a mosquito. Every time she landed she gave a groan and a sob.

Cipher walked up and asked “What are you doing here? And where’s your father? And why the long face?”

She pointed up the tree “It my kite. The one Mom made. It stuck at the top of the tree. Dad’s gone for help. But,” she jumped and hooved, before slumping onto the ground “I’ve tried to get it down.”

Cipher pulled at the string, but wherever the kite rested, it would not move, he hummed “It seems well and truly stuck.”

A whistle sounded from the road nearby, the two turned around.

Doctor Time Turner’s Lorry rounded a corner. A tall ladder on the back and Chrome Blade in the passenger side of the cab. The Lorry stopped and the two got out. Time Turner started to grumble “I hope this doesn’t take too long, I’ve got to fix the roof on Comet Tail’s study before the frost gets to his test tubes.” Chrome Blade put the top of the ladder on his back “It’s only a kite Time.” He turned back “Hello Cipher.” He called to the Changeling.

They two manoeuvred the ladder over the wall. Clambering over the wall to do so, Time Turner laughed “Climbing walls, reminds me when I was young.” He stuck his head through one of the spaces between the rungs of the ladder, and the two walked up the hill, Chrome glanced back “I could never have done this by myself Time.”

The doctor laughed “Not with a ladder like this, no definitely couldn’t.”

Once at the tree they lifted the ladder up and put it up against the tree.

Time Turner looked up “Now then, who’s going up.”, Scootaloo rushed up “It’s my kite.”, Chrome put a hoof in front of her daughter “It’s dangerous for a filly like you Scoots.”, Time Turner looked about ready to say something, but Scootaloo shook his head.

Cipher inched and whispered “What’s Scootaloo been up to?”

“She’s been ziplining and bungie jumping.”, Cipher glanced at the filly then looked to the pair of Earth Ponies “Aren’t either of you going up the ladder?”

Time Tuner shook his head “I could never climb tree, as a colt I feared for my life when there was only eighteen inches between my dangling back legs and the ground. The phrase no head for heights goes further with me, I’ve got no legs, hooves or eyes for them.”

Cipher narrowed his eyes “Then why are you going to fix a roof?”

“Oh, houses and roofs I’m fine with, that's a job to do, climbing tree is for fun, I can’t help but get unnerved by being at height with no real reason.”

Cipher turned to Chrome, he looked away and frowned “Don’t tell Dauntless, but I suffer terribly from vertigo.”, Cipher blinked “But you married and fathered a Pegasus?”

“All of that happened firmly on the ground.”

Cipher sighed “Well, looks like it’s up to me.” He gave the ball of string too Scootaloo and walked up to the ladder “I’ll soon deal with this never fear.”, he put his back hooves on the first rung and started up, his wing covers and wings sprouted out from his back to give him stability.

Time Turner and Chrome held the ladder, and Turner murmured “Steady as you go.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Cipher said, “This is going to be one long climb with such a tall tree.”, he reached the top and poked his head through the branches, he looked around, then he blinked and smirk “There’s the kite. And Riolu as well.”

The Jakhowl sat on the branch with the kite. He swung his feet about.

Cipher fluttered his wing and lightly flew onto the branch “How did you get here Riolu?”, the Jakhowl shrugged.

“Come on Riolu,” he reached to his animal companion “do be shy.” His hoof brushed against the kite and the flying toy fell off the branch. Cipher called down “Look out below!”

Scootaloo jumped “I got it, I got it!” she caught it “Yay! It’s alright. Thanks Cipher.”

The Changeling smiled down then turned to Chrome and the doctor “That’s the kite taken care of. But Riolu’s stuck up here now.”

Time Turner called up “I have to be getting along, if something bad happens to Comet Tail’s study Nurse Redheart will never forgive me.”
Cipher sighed and inched to the ladder and climbed down it. He stopped midway and glanced at the branch “Riolu got up the tree on his own, so I hope he can get down the way he went up.” When he reached the bottom, Chrome spoke “You don’t need to bother about Riolu.”
Cipher turned seeing the Jakhowl sitting on the wall beside the Everfree Guard. The Changeling blinked “Good grief, has that pup got wing?”
Chrome turned to his daughter “Come on Scoots, we’d better get home before it gets dark.”, she nodded and the two walked away.

Cipher called to them “And keep a go hold on that kite! Next time you want to fly it, try asking Starlight where the best area is.”

Time Turner began to move the ladder. Cipher came to his side “Hang on Doc, I’ll give you a hoof.”, the doctor nodded “Are you ready Cipher?”, the Changeling nodded, Time Turner lowered the ladder’s top end to him, Turner slung his end onto his shoulder and Cipher did the same “Okay Doc, back to the Lorry.”, and the two walked down the hill. At the wall the doctor climbed over and twisted the ladder so the flat side would runner on the top of said wall “Give it a push Cipher.”, the Changeling did so and when he reached the wall he called “Over to you Doc.”, Time Turner lifted the ladder “Okay, now leave it to me.”

The doctor put the ladder back onto the back of the Lorry and climbed into the cab.

“Thanks Doc, good luck with fixing the roof.”, Time Turner nodded “Bye Cipher.” He pulled the regulator and the Lorry trundled away.
Cipher watched him go then looked to his side, and found Riolu there “Hello,” the Changeling said “have you popped up again? You get everywhere, don’t you Riolu? I’m going to see Princess Twilight about this when we’ve finished delivering the letters, speaking of which we should find the cart.” He walked over a nearby gate and opened it. He went into the next field and started his rambling again, only with a piece of string to guide him.

All the fields looked alike, especially to one who spent most of his, as previously stated, short life spent indoors in a series of caverns, which kept changing, So Cipher didn’t know which way to go, and Riolu disappeared again.

After trudging through some undergrowth, he peered over a brush and smiled ‘There’s some-ponies I know.’ He walked out and went up to the stile, Miss Cheerilee and Big McIntosh stood by it while admiring the scenery. Cheerilee heard hoof-steps turned and smiled “Hello Cipher.”, Big Mac turned to look “Morning.”, Cheerilee spoke next “We’re just out for a little walk. Are you looking for your cart?”

Cipher rubbed the back of his neck “Well yes, I was just wondering.” He explained about Scootaloo and the kite and about his little odyssey with the kite string. Cheerilee giggled and pointed “It’s three fields that way.”

“Yep.”

“Turn left at the boggy part.”

“Yep.”

“And you’ll be there in no time.”

“Yep.”

“Thanks.” And Cipher started walking.

It seemed much further than what Cheerilee said, but eventually he reached another wall, and a gate, which lead to the road, one Cipher knew, he trudged down it and rounded a bend and smiled “Ah, there’s the cart, safe and sound.”

He walked up and checked the back, all the letter and parcel remained where he put them. When he closed the doors, another thought struck him ‘Where’s Riolu? I can’t leave without him.’ He walked up to the front and stopped, then he smirked and chuckled ‘I should have guessed.’

Riolu lay fast asleep on the passenger side of the cart seat. Cipher could understand why, all the walking he did nearly tried him out, imagine what it would do to something only two foot tall. Cipher carefully and quietly got onto the cart ‘We’d better get the post delivered, we’ve wasted enough time today.”, he charged his horn and lightly flicked the reins. The cart slowly rolled along the lane. ‘Who am I going to explain this?’

Twilight noted down the stuff Cipher told her about Riolu “Able to climb and descend trees effortlessly, and apparently faster than a pony going up a ladder and has some form of natural sense direction.” She looked.

Cipher sipped his tea while Riolu chew on one of his bones. The Princess cleared her throat, Cipher looked up, “Do you know how Riolu got to the tree and back to cart without you?”

Cipher shook his head “Not a clue. The way he effortlessly navigated the fields while I mucked about with the string, the scarecrow and the sheep, well it’s almost like he felt Scootaloo’s sadness like a beacon and went as the crow flies, then somehow located the van while I went from field to field until running to Cheerilee and Big Mac.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes “Weird.” She looked at her previous notes, the climbing tree part matched the similarity to cats, but this natural sense of direction, maybe Jakhowls possessed a highly-developed hippocampus, the part of the brain to do with navigation and spatial awareness, rats can easily navigate mazes and of course, Fluttershy kept a couple of homing pigeons. As for knowing where to find Scootaloo, he did seem to have developed ears like a canine, maybe he heard her and followed the sound.

But one of the biggest mystery about this Jakhowl, the appendages coming off his eye mask, see could only think they acted as a part of a bodily temperature control system. But the thing with his paws when he first met her, and apparently new every-pony he meets, caused those appendages to float. Maybe it connected to some form of magic. But she couldn’t really tell, no magical glow appeared, and she couldn’t sense any magical signature.

And of course, the biggest surprise, how he managed to physically hurt Discord, a real mystery.

Birthdays, Unbelievable News, Paper Chases and New Arrivals

In the Station Master’s Office Perks brightened a lamp to get a better look at the broach Firelight got given for her birthday, “That’s a mighty fine little broach that. I don’t think I’ve seen anything look so much like a buttercup, without it being a real buttercup.”

Firelight nodded and explained about how she got it, Perks look surprised as he remembered “Oh is that it? I’ve never seen it close up before, highly decorative thing it is too.” He gave it back to her, she put it back on her collar and looked back as Perks got himself a cup of tea “When is your birthday Mr Perks?”

“My birthday? I gave up keeping track of my birthday since before you were born.”

Autumn looked saddened “But you must have been born sometime, you know. Even if it was twenty years ago or thirty years ago or sixty or seventy.”

Perks flustered “It wasn’t quite that long ago miss. If you really want to know, I’ll before forty-two years old on the fifteenth of this month.”

Autumn then asked, “Why don’t you celebrate it then?”

“I’ve got other things to keep besides birthdays.”

“Oh what?” Autumn asked, “Not secrets Mr Perks?”

Perks chuckled as he put more water into the kettle “No, the wife and kids.”

Scribble smiled as the Foals returned to the Three Chimneys, they meet at the window, the Matriarch of family showed them a letter “I’ve sold another story darlings. The one about the Wombles idea Lord Moonlight gave me, so they’ll be buns for tea. You can go get them the moment they’re ready.”

The Foals looked excited, but, Firelight asked “Mummy, would you mind if we didn’t have buns for tea tonight? But on the fifteenth?”

“I don’t mind when you have them darlings, but why?”, Firelight explained, then Stone added “We thought we’d make a nice birthday for him. He’s been very nice to us. And we agreed that next bun day we'd ask if we could.”

Scribble nodded “It would be nice to write his name in pink icing wouldn’t it.”

Stone looked unsure “Perks isn’t a very pretty nice.”

Autumn spoke up “Noble is his other name, I asked him once, I think Noble is a pretty name.”, the looked at her and she asked, “What’s the matter with that?”

The Foals sat around a nearby barn thinking. Autumn asked, “What about flowers?”

Stone shook his head “He’s got lots of flowers in his garden already.”

Firelight then spoke “Yes, but it’s always nice to be given them.”, Autumn then diplomatically said “Let’s all just sit and think. No-ponies to speak until they’ve thought of something.”

The sat thinking in silence.

Finally, Stone stood up “I’ve got it.”

“What?” her sisters asked.

“Perks is so nice to every-pony, right?”

“Right.” They said.

“So, there must be lots of ponies in town who’d want to make him a nice birthday, right?”

Firelight looked unsure “Mother said we weren’t to ask ponies for things.”

Stone shook his head “Only for ourselves silly, not for other ponies.”

“I think we should ask Mummy first.”

They did so, she said they could if they did it right, and make sure it wasn’t simply because the Perks family didn’t have as much money to go around, Perks seemed a very proud sort, not the type to freely accept charity. The Foals said it wouldn’t be out of charity, it would be out of fondness for their friend.

Scribble agreed and offered to give some of the cloths the Foals outgrew for the Perks children.

The Foals then went into the village to ask around. They first went to ponies who often came to chat with Perks at the station, like Helmet Listener.

Then around the High Street. Muffins at the Post Office nodded “Come back tomorrow and I’ll see what I can do. I’ll tell Cipher to ask on his rounds too.”, the Foals left smiling and with complimentary muffins.

At Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie couldn’t hold her excitement and began asking dozens of questions about, also if they needed help, the Foal did ask some advice on presents.

Rarity offered to make Perks a new suit, but the Foals said they would have to ask him first, she understood. Besides, Rarity did have a meeting with Mr Moonlight Spectre, although her manner of talk towards the noble Bat Pony did make Firelight wonder slightly.

Some they asked were kind and did give, some regretted to say they couldn’t but wished Perks a happy birthday. Some however became crusty, one pony flat out said he hated Perks, the Foal sarcastically thanked him.

After a day of asking a collecting, and a delivery from Cipher, the Foal sat up in Stone’s room looking over the inventory, Firelight spoke the item out load “Tobacco pipe, half a pound of tea, woollen scarf from Miss Draper in Huntersfield. A stuffed squirrel from Helmet Listener…”, Stone wrote the items down in a notebook so they could make labels.

The Foals returned to Muffins the day of the fifteenth and found her waiting outside with her husband Dauntless Doo and their youngest child, Dipsy, the yearling filly now could walk, and much preferred a ride on her daddy’s back than in a pram. And so, Muffins gladly gave her slightly used pram over to the Foals to give to Mrs Perks. The Foals decided to use it as a cart so they didn’t waste magical energy on carrying he many small presents.

Time Turner came running up “Sorry I’m a little late, I missed Cipher this morning. Anyway, I made this for Mr Perks.” He pulled from his back a shovel. The Foals thanks the doctor and continued their journey.

Finally, they made it to the Perks House, the nearest house to the Railway Station. They opened the gate and lugged the pram up the small step. “Hello?” Stone called “Is any-pony at home?”

From the small wooden building, close to the back of the house the sound of tiny hooves reverberated. The head of a young colt appeared “Mam’s upstairs. Mam! Visitors!”

“Thank you, Junior.” Came a sweet, but careworn voice “Just coming.”, the front door opened and a mare, a little rough and just as careworn as her voice stepped out, she wore a necklace with a cross on it, “Sorry I did an extra clean, it’s my husband’s birthday you see. I don’t know why he’s suddenly wanted to celebrate his, we do the kids mind you, but myself and Noble Senior don’t have time for ours.”

Stone smiled “We knew it was his birthday. We’ve brought him some presents.”, Mrs Perks looked amazed at the pram and the stuff in it and she smiled “Bring them in my dears.”

They went into the dining room and started unloading the pram and putting the stuff onto the table. Mrs Perks sat down and dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief, Stone notice and knelt beside her “Oh, don’t, please don’t, Mrs Perks. Whatever is the matter? Do you mean to say you don’t like the things we brought? Don’t you like them?”

Mrs Perks turned to him as smile as the Perks Foals entered, the colt, Noble Junior, being the eldest, then unidentical twin fillies, one of them held an infant colt. Mrs Perks put a hoof to Stone’s shoulder “Don’t mind me, I’m alright. Like them? Why it’s a birthday such as Mr Perks has never had, not even when he was a colt.”

Stone smiled “Good, I’m glad your pleased. Can we wait and see it Mr Perks is pleased?”, she happily gasped “I won’t say another word.”

Firelight spoke up “Could we have a plate for the buns Mrs Perks?”

“Of course, missy.”, the Perks Foals looked excited.

The table look grand, the buns set in place and the presents all about, Mrs Perks just smiled “Fit for a prince, I never thought there’d being anything for him, expect the pinch of his favourite tobacco I got him. Of course, he never smokes in the presence of the foals, only when he out in the garden.”

Presently they heard a voice singing. Mrs Perks gasped “Good heavens, he’s early!”

Firelight turned to the kitchen “Let’s hide in there. Do tell him about this, but give him the tobacco first, after you’ve explained we’ll step out and give him many happy returns.”, she and her siblings ushered the Perks Foals into the kitchen.

The front door shut and Perks called in “How do all?” He entered the dining room and stopped, he eyes crisscrossed the table and he gained a face of surprised confusion “This is a pretty set out.”

Mrs Perks nodded “It’s your birthday tea Noble dear.” She picked up the tobacco “And here’s an ounce of your favourite particular.”, Noble smiled “Thank you love.” He kissed her, then glancing over her shoulder he noticed the pram. He asked her about it “You’re not, again.”, she shook her head being to become unsure. Perks then walked around the table “What’s with all these bundles? All the sweet stuff?” then he chuckled confused “What’s this squirrel doing on the table?”

“There presents Noble, gifts for your birthday.”

“Who found out it was my birthday? We made Pinkie Pie promise never to make a fuse about our birthdays, and she’s never yet broken a promise, even that one about the news of Princess Flurry Heart.” He looked at the gifts again “No labels, so are they all from one lot?” he paused and scowled “The Waterbury’s isn’t it. And they told me they couldn't afford much, if this is charity I won’t stand for it.”

“But Noble you make such a fuss about them, your friends.”

“I don’t care if they’re Angels for Heaven. I’ve gotten through these year without asking, without relying on others, in all those years I never wanted to be given charity, and I won’t start now.”

“Hush Noble, watch that tongue of yours.” She glanced back to the kitchen “The three of them are in there with the children listening to every word you speak.”

“Are they now?” he trudged over to kitchen door and opened it “You can come out now I won’t a word with you three.” His foals started to move as the Waterbury Foals left, Perks sighed “Not you kids, just there for the moment. Wisdom,” he said to the filly with the infant “Get South cleaned up, we have guest.”, the Perks foals nodded and their father smiled before closing the door. He then turned to the Waterbury Foals “Right,” he walked passed then to stand at the other end of the room “You can start by telling me what you meant by this. Have I even complained to you about being short?”

Autumn looked ready to cry “We thought you’d be so pleased, Mr Perks. I’ll never try and be kind to any-pony else for the rest of my life. No, I won't. Not never!”

Stone spoke next “We didn’t mean any harm.”, Perks then spoke again “It isn’t what you mean as much as what you do.”

Firelight took up the conversation “We thought you’d love it. We always have things on our birthdays.”

“Oh yes, from your own relations that’s different.”

“No, not just our relations.” Firelight corrected, Stone nodded “They’re from all sorts of ponies from all over Everfree.”

“And who put them up to it?”

“We did.” Autumn admitted.

Perks remained silent before sitting down “So you’ve been going around telling every-pony in the Kingdom we can’t make ends meet? Well, now you’ve disgraced us as deep as you can in the neighbourhood. You can take that whole pack of tricks where they came from. I’m grateful for the gesture, I’m sure, I don’t doubt you meant it in kindness, but, I’d rather not be acquainted with you any longer.” He turned the chair around to face away from the Waterbury Foals.

Firelight broke away and approach him “We’ll go if you like,” Autumn and Stone came to her side as she continued “and you don’t need to be friends with us anymore if that’s what you want but…”, Autumn cut into her speech “We’ll always be friends with you, even though you’re nasty to us.”

Firelight continued as she levitated the labels they made out from her dress pocket “But before we go, do let us show you the labels we brought to put on the things.”

Perks grumbled and crossed his fore hooves “I don’t want to see any labels expect proper luggage labels.”

Autumn pleaded “Oh please, let Flame show you the labels.”, Perks sighed “Alright then.”

“Well then,” Firelight started “We wrote down everything everybody said when they gave us the things with the ponies’ names on. Because Mother said that we ought to be careful because, Well I wrote down what she said and you’ll see.” She hooved the label over to Perks who took it in his hoof, “That’s from Mother. She thought Mrs Perks might like some of our old things that we’ve outgrown.”, Perks read the label and nodded “Well, that’s alright. I mean you Mom’s a born lady.” He glanced to his wife “We’ll keep the clothing for the foals and what not Flambeau.”

She nodded with a small smiled.

Firelight continued “Then there’s the perambulator and the sweets, there from Mrs Muffins, the Post Mistress.”, Flambeau walked up “I can’t send the pram back Noble, and I won’t, so don’t ask.”, Perks shook his head “I’m not asking anything.” He said looking at the label with Muffin’s words.

“Then there’s the shovel. Doctor Time Turner made that for you himself, and he says, now where is it?” Firelight filed through the labels, she tried to give it to Perks, but he held his hoof you “You can read it.”

Firelight nodded and read out aloud “He says, you tell Mr Perks it is a pleasure to make a little trifle for a stallion who is so much respected.”

Perks nodded “Good chap the Doc, very good chap.”

Firelight looked through all the labels “And every-pony who gave anything said they liked you and thought it was a very good idea of ours. And no-pony said anything about charity or anything horrid like that. We thought that you’d love to know how fond every-pony is of you. And I’ve never so unhappy in all my born days.” She sighed and put the labels in Perk’s lap “Goodbye.” She turned to her siblings “Come on.”

Before they could exit the door, Perks called out “Stop!”, every-pony turned to him as he spoke “I take back every word I’ve said contrary to anything you’d wish.” He sighed and put the labels to one side “Flambeau?”

“Yes Noble?”

“Put the kettle on.” She nodded and went to the kitchen.

Stone spoke up “We’ll take away the things it you’re unhappy with them.”

“I’m not unhappy about it.” He stood up and turned to them with a face of pure apology “I don’t know when I was ever more pleased, not so much with the presents frankly, they are a bit a bit a hodgepodge, but it’s the kind respect of our neighbours, that’s worth having.” He turned to his wife bring the foals out, “Isn’t it dear?”, she chuckled “I think it’s all worth having. And you’ve made a ridiculous fuss about nothing.

“It was just a misunderstanding that’s all.” He turned to the Waterbury foals “You’ll stay for tea I take it?”

Stone nodded and held out his hoof “May the garland of friendship be evergreen.”, Perks chuckled and took Stone’s hoof “I like that phrase, that should be the national motto for the EK, fits it like glove. Now then, let’s have a look at those buns you’ve brought.”

The Foals all messed about in the front garden of the Three Chimneys a few days later.

Perks came down the country lane with a bundle wrapped in newspapers on his back. He stopped at the gap in the wall. He stood up on his hindlegs, put the bundle in his right hoof and squeezed through the gap. He approached the house and met Firelight first “Hello my dear.” He called out to the three of them he put the bundle down “One good turn deserves another I always say. You say I found these magazines in the waiting room, they were only collecting dust,” he scratched the side of his head “I thought you might like them, a lot of pictures in them, and you can colour them up with crayons,” he shrugged “Anyway I don’t want them.”

Firelight chuckled “You’re a dear.”, the others agreed. Perks nodded “I must be getting along, got lots to do, and Perks must be about it.”

“Thank you.” Firelight called and the Station Master happily walked away.

Thunder cracked and Firelight turned to her siblings “I think better go inside. Starry Eyes did say a storm was scheduled.”, the younger foals ran into the house and Firelight leaned down to get the magazines. Then she paused at an article on the newspaper. The article included the image of a stallion she most certainly recognised.

It read ‘Moral Waterbury. End of Trial Verdict. Sentence Five Years Penal Service.’

Firelight couldn’t believe what she read. It talked about her father selling national secrets to the Changeling Kingdom. As it must have happened before the Hearth’s Warming when he got taken, it meant, if true her father helped Queen Chrysalis in knapping the Royal Family and the Council of Friendship. It all started to make sense, and yet absolutely no sense at all. Tears formed as she uttered “Daddy.”, teardrops and raindrops fell onto the paper. Firelight quickly grabbed the bundle and ran straight for her room. She put the bundle on her bed and she broke down.

“Flame?” she heard her mother called and the approach of hooves. Quickly she flipped the bundle over and turned away from the door.

Mrs Waterbury opened the door and asked concerned “Flame? What is it darling?”

Firelight turned to her and sobbing with an utter of “Mummy.” She turned the bundle over and show her mother the newspaper article.

Thunder crashed outside. Scribble quickly came to Firelight said and asked, “You don’t believe Daddy, did it?”, she turned to her and said straight out “No.”

Scribble nodded “Because it’s not true. They have shut him in prison but he’s done nothing wrong. He’s good and honourable, he loves the Royal Family and he belongs to us.”

“Would it upset you if you told me all about it? It’s just I want to understand.”, Scribble explained about the Bat Ponies on the Hearth’s Warming Night and going to more details about the charges brought before him.

Firelight shook her head “How could any-pony believe that? How could any-pony do such a thing?”

“Some-pony did.”

“Why did you tell some-pony? A lawyer? There wasn’t any-pony who wanted to hurt Daddy on purpose, was there?”, Scribble frowned “I don’t know, it’s all so complicated.” Her eyes narrowed “There was a stallion in the Foreign Office who very envious of your father, Daddy always said he never quite trusted him.”

“Why didn’t you explain that to some-pony?”

Scribble shut her eyes and sighed “No-pony would listen. The court didn’t wish to involve the Princesses because they thought it would give them a relapse, and so I wasn’t allowed to explain to them when I asked to move here to Ponyville. Since the Trial I can’t show my face in Canterlot again. Do you suppose I haven’t tried everything?”

“What Princess Twilight?”

“I can’t, she’s far too busy, especially now since she’s with foal.” She tightly embraced her daughter “What we have to do you and I and Daddy is to be brave.” She kissed her.

Firelight didn’t know if she wanted to be brave. She did act brave to save those ponies from the landslide, but now, she didn’t know if she could just, bravely wait out five years. She needed to do something, and she felt she knew how.

Early the next morning she wrote a letter and enclosed a cutting of the newspaper article. She ran to the station and gave the letter the Perks. If her mother couldn’t get an audience with one of the Princesses on the matter, then surely their friend Lord Blue Moon could.

As she walked back home she began to wonder if she made the right decision, what if Lord Blue Moon believed every-pony else? What if by learning who she and her family were Lord Blue Moon would no longer want to speak with them? What if the Princesses would not want to hear about it?

She heard a voice above her “Where have you been?”, she looked up at the tall wall beside the walkway and found her siblings looking down at her. “Where have I been? Down at the station, but don’t ask me why, it’s a secret.”

Stone rolled his eyes “Oh, please yourself.”

Firelight then gave them some news “That’s going to be a paper chase tomorrow.”

“Whoopy!” Autumn said. Stone tilted his head “Who’s running in it?”

“Colts from Princess Celestia’s School.”, meaning Unicorn boys.

Autumn looked more excited “Zippy!”, Firelight smiled “Perks says we can watch them beside the line.”

“Really?” Autumn asked, then she frowned “What’s a paper chase?”, Stone and Firelight rolled their eyes.

A paper chase is a special race. One pony at the front laying down a trail and the others quite some ways back follow it. This chase happened to be a charity fundraiser organised by Canterlot glamour model Fleur Dis Lee.

Beside the tunnel mouth the Foal sat when they heard frantic hoof steps “Let me pass please.” A colt with a saddlebag lay down bit of paper came down the steps. They got out of his way. The colt ran down the steps and onto the railway line and into the tunnel.

Two railway works just stepped out of the tunnel mouth as the colt ran in. One looked back “Hey, that’s against regulations. I ought to report him.”

“They’re only having fun Station.” His colleague said, Mr Station replied, “Passengers are forbidden to walk on the line on any pretence, Steam.”

“He’s no passenger, anyway I can’t see him anymore. Out of sight, out of mind I always say.”

More hooves sounded out and down the path came a dozen other colts in sport jerseys, they followed the paper into the tunnel, some of them commented about the dark.

Mr Station shook his head “They don’t know what they’re in for. It’s not easy running in the dark.”

Stone called over “They’ll take a long time going through, won’t they?”, Mr Station nodded “Yes, they will.”

Presently an older colt, mid teenage came running down the slope. Athletically built with a shining bluish grey coat with a mane and tail of three brown tones, for a light orangey cream, then a milk chocolate shade and finally an almost black dark brown. He wore a red jersey over himself. His dark blue eyes looked around before he stumbled down the embankment passed the Waterbury Foals, he got up and looked about again and rubbed his horn.

Stone pointed to the tunnel and called over “They went that way.”

The teenage colt nodded “Oh, thanks.” He said in a refined Canterlot accent before he entered.

Just after he disappeared into the dark, Stone got up and spoke to his sisters “I know, why don’t he cut across the top and see them come out the other end? We’ll be there before they are.”, the three climbed the embankment and ran over the hill, jumped over fences. Paused for a moment. Then they slowly went down to stand just above the other entrance of the tunnel. The paper already laid and headed up the hill in the direction of Huntersfield.

The colts started running out and scrambled up the hill.

After non-pony, else existed Firelight turned to the other “There, that’s all. What should we do now?”

Stone meanwhile looked down “Not yet, there’s the one in the red jersey, he hasn’t come out yet. Come on, let go to the tunnel mouth, perhaps we’ll see him from the inside.”, Autumn followed, Firelight stood for a moment before joining her siblings.

Autumn gulped “It’s dark in there. I don’t like it.”

They could just make out the light at the end of the tunnel which curved around slightly.

Stone spoke “No sign of him, I think he must have had an accident. Let’s go and rescue him.” He walked in. Firelight passed Autumn and turned back to her “Come on Autumn, keep close behind me. If a train comes along stand with your back flat against the wall and hold your skirt against you.” Firelight ran in after Stone, Autumn slowly walked behind “I still don’t like it.”

Further in Stone stopped a lit lantern. He narrowed his eyes at a sound “What is that?”, Autumn held onto Firelight “Sounds like another earthquake!”, the sound approach and sounded like chuffing, then a whistle sound, Firelight commented “It’s a train.”, Stone pulled the three into a small alcove in the tunnel wall. The all stood reared up and tightly packed.

The green six coupled engine thunder through the tunnel and dominated the space. It’s shrill whistle and blastpipe bark almost defend the foals. Autumn shouted out “It is a dragon! I always thought it was!”

The train rattled passed. The foals waited until it cleared the tunnel. Stone looked to his sister and said, “Come one.”

Autumn’s eyes widened “Suppose that colt was caught underneath the train?” She grimaced and shuddered. Stone looked glum and said, “We’ve got to go and see.” With his magic, he took the lantern and walked along the line and called “Hello?”, his voice echoed. The light cast onto something red “Hey,” he called to the girls “you two come quickly!”

The girls joined Stone. The colt lay on the trackside passed out. His right back leg broken. Autumn shut her eyes “Is that blood?”

“Autumn please!” Firelight said, she took the lamp “You two go and get help.”

Mr Station and Steam carried the colt on a makeshift stretcher to the Three Chimneys, the nearest house. Stone and Autumn walked beside them as Firelight ran to the door.

She went into her mother’s room. Mrs Waterbury sat writing when she barged in “Do come down Mother, we found a colt in a red jersey in the tunnel and he’s broken his leg, they’re bring him her and I’ve sent for Nurse Redheart.”

“Shouldn’t the boy be taken to his Mother?”

“He’s from Canterlot, he can’t be transported far, we’re the nearest house.”, Scribble got up and went to her wardrobe.

Firelight gulped “Oh Mother, you will be nice to him, won’t you? I told him you’d wont to help, you always help any-pony you can.”

“Come along.” Scribble said give Firelight some bedding and grabbing a pillow. They went down the kitchen where the colt laid on a table.

Scribble’s eye widened when she entered “Let’s get him to bed before the Nurse arrives.”

The colt spoke “It’s hurt when you move me Mrs Waterbury. I hope you don’t think I’m a coward if I faint again. I honestly and truly don’t do this on purpose, and I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”

“Don’t you worry.” Scribble assured him “You’re the one who has the trouble. We’d love to have you here.” She turned to her eldest daughter “Wouldn’t we Flame?”, Firelight blushed but nodded “Yes.”

After getting the colt, called Greater Thunder, or Thunder for short, to bed in Stone’s room the family and Starry Eyes worked to get dinner ready.

The doorbell rang. Scribble put her utensils down “That must be Nurse Redheart.” She left the kitchen.

After a voice moments, the Foal heard a muffled conversation, but the other voice sound male. Firelight frowned and whispered “I know that voice. At least I think I do.”, Stone nodded “I thought I recognised it too, but it’s not Mr Comet Tail, Doctor Horse or any of the Everfree Guard, they’d be the only one to have a reason to be here.”

Autumn frowned in confusion “Why would Mr Comet Tail come here?”

“Maybe to inform Mummy Nurse Redheart is indisposed. Maybe she is and this is the medical pony who’s come instead.”

They heard the door to Stone’s, currently Thunder’s bedroom open. The Foals went to the door and opened it slightly, Firelight frowned “It’s rude to listen in like this.”

“It’s not listening in,” Stone said “no-pony in their senses would talk secrets on the stairs.”

“Children,” the mother called, they opened the door further and looked up at Mrs Waterbury at the top of the stairs, the mother continued “A relative of Thunder has come. He wants to see you. Wash your hooves and faces, we’ll be in the dining room when you’re ready.”, they nodded and re-entered the kitchen. Stone turned to her sisters with a face of embarrassed pride “There now, fancy not think of that.” He turned to Starry Eyes “Any hot water Starry?”

“Coming right up.” He called pouring out the kettle into the sink, the Foals rushed over to clean themselves up.

After smartening up they went to the dining room and opened the door. They all blinked and surprised smiled graced their faces, Stone spoke “Well I never did…”

None other than lord Blue Moon sat in the chair. The mother smiled and spoke “This my dears is Thunder’s grandfather.”, the Foals approached and Autumn started talking “I’m so glad it’s you, when I think of all the old gentle-colts there are in the world it could have been any-pony.”

Stone then asked, “You’re not going to take Thunder away, are you?”

“Only to the Ponyville General Hospital, but with my busy schedule at the current time I will be unable to visit him, his Father is a Royal Knight, currently away in the Griffon Lands, and his Mother is also too busy as a top professor at Princess Celestia’s School. So, your mother has kindly offered that herself and you three will visit him, keep him entertain as his leg heals and to keep me updated. Thunder is very important to me, not only as my eldest Grandson, whom I am very proud of, but also since his Father is a Royal Knight, the duty of which to Equestria generally forbids inheritance, my title and estate will fall to Thunder.”

They agreed to the arrangement and the Viscount Boxer asked Firelight to escort him out. Once she closed the front door it gave them a chance to speak in private, Lord Blue Moon started “I got your letter my dear, but it wasn’t needed. When I read about your father’s case in the papers at the time I had my doubts, you see I would sometime pass him in Canterlot and I could tell he was of fine character. And ever since I’ve known who you were I’ve been endeavouring to find out the truth, and I have hopes.”

Firelight smiled, the Viscount then turned to her “But keep you’re secret a while longer, it wouldn’t do to upset your mother with false hope, now would it?”

“But it isn’t false, I know you can do it, I knew you could when I wrote, so this isn’t a false hope, is it?”, Blue Moon smiled and shook his head “No, my dear.” He stated.

“So, you don’t believe Daddy did do it? Don’t say you do.”

“My dear, I’m perfectly certain he didn’t.” He bowed his head and walked away from a smiling Firelight.

Over the coming weeks as the season of autumn rolled in. The hospital took good care of Thunder, put his leg in a cast, and the Waterbury family true to their word came down every day to keep him company. Interestingly Firelight went down nearly every day, often spending all her spare time with Thunder too.

Finally, Thunder’s leg held and Thunder’s family came to collect him. Thunder joked he could final scratch this persistent itch.

At the station, Thunder said goodbye to the Waterbury family and to the hospital staff. Firelight ran along the platform as the train left and Thunder took her hoof with the promise “I’ll write.”

Autumn and Stone watched with shock and Stone commented “They’ll have to marry now.”

After Thunder left, the Waterbury Foals didn’t seem to be the Railway Foals, as Lord Blue Moon so aptly called them, anymore.

After a while, as the frost of winter pulled in Autumn voiced this notion “I wonder if the railway misses us? We never go and see it now.”

Firelight nodded “It seems ungrateful, we loved it so when we had no-pony to play with. The thing I dislike is no longer waving to the 9:15 and sending our love to Father by it.”

Autumn smiled and suggested “Let’s begin again tomorrow.”

Next morning the three ran down the field and to the fence of the embankment.

The red engine whistled and its shadow appeared on the other embankment.

The Foals took out their handkerchiefs and began waving and called “Take our love to Father!”

Next came a surreal moment. As the train approached, every-pony, engine crew, passenger and carriage staff alike all waved handkerchiefs and cheered back at them. The driver even cheerfully tooted the whistle.

Lord Blue Moon leaned out of his carriage window and tapped a hoof on a newspaper.

The Foals stopped waving and observed this. The train disappeared out of sight and Stone turned to his sisters “Most extraordinary?”, the girls agreed repeating his word.

Later in the day the Foals attended classes in the Schoolhouse. Miss Cheerilee drew the image of a country and spoke as she turned around “Now, Firelight, can you tell me…” she paused as she looked at the older filly, Firelight looked out to the window, with, seemingly, the thousand-yard stare. Cheerilee approached “Firelight? Are you unwell?”

Firelight turned to the teacher “I, I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel. Can I ask if you let me off lessons today, I know you don’t like those requests, but, I feel like I won’t to be quite alone.”

Cheerilee smiled “Alright, just this once, off you go.”, Firelight nodded and left the Schoolhouse. As she left, she couldn’t understand it, but she seemed drawn to the station. On the way, she got hearty and happy greetings from nearly every-pony.

She got to the station as the bell for an approaching train rang out.

Perks ran out of his Office and turned to see her, he smiled widely “There you are! If this is the train this’ll be smart work, prefect timing.” He approached her “Bless you miss,” he held out a folded-up copy of the Equestria Daily “I’ve seen it in the papers, sorry but on a day like this I must.” He kissed her on the cheek “And one for luck.” He kissed her on the other cheek “You’re not offended, are you? I haven’t taken too much of a liberty on a day like this?”

She smiled and shook her head, as the chuffing on the train approached “No Mr Perks, you haven’t take a liberty, we love you quite as much as if you were an uncle of our own.”, he chuckled, then she asked, “But on a day like what?”

“A day like today, I told you I read it in the paper!” he ran to the other end of the platform.

“Read what in the paper?”

“Ponyville! Ponyville Station!”, the steam of the locomotive filled the platform. She heard door closes and Ponies leave the coaches. Perks helped with doors. Only a few passengers for Ponyville this morning.

Firelight looked about confused, she turned to the locomotive end on the train. The steam filled the platform. One last door shut and Perks called back behind her “Right away Mr Cryer!”, the guard’s whistle blew and the train slowly pulled out of the station. Firelight remained standing there looking at the steam which still filled the platform, and indeed, it grew thicker. Eventually it drifted away, a silhouette of a stallion appeared.

As the steam cleared, she got a better look at him. A tall figure, standing alone. A small saddlebag and the clothes on his back his only possessions. His mane, tail and beard long and rougher. But Firelight knew him. She took a step forward, then another, and another, before entering a gallop with a happy cry “Daddy! My Daddy!”

Moral Waterbury reared up and caught his eldest daughter in an embrace. Reunited after almost a year apart. He kissed her on her cheeks.

Firelight and her father made their way up to the Three Chimneys, heads and horns touching. When the house came into their view she pointed it out, he smiled “It’s sweet.” He chuckled.

She ran ahead to tell her mother. He approached and looked at the house, the home of his family and his for the foreseeable future, he looked back over the valley and saw the quite town of Ponyville, then he glanced up to glimpse the Castle of Friendship.

Firelight exited the door and nodded to him. Morals smiled and walked inside. She walked away.

Autumn and Stone came running from around the back of the house. Firelight told them the marvellous news and lead them away. “I think just now,” she said “we’re not wanted there. Not for a few minutes anyway. I think it would be best if we good quickly and quietly. We’ll go to the end of the field, among the thin spikes of grass. We may just take one last look over our shoulders, at the house where neither we, nor any-pony else is wanted right now.”

And they did exactly so, but hopeful and happy.

This is the end of their story, but nothing truly ends, in truth there are only new beginnings.

Author's Note

Tears come to my eyes at the end of the Railway Children, and hearing the music in my head, and Jenny Agutter's voice, well I welled up here.

Beautiful film, I highly recommand it to all families.

A Foul Phenomenon

“Triplets!”

Both Twilight and Flash stared shocked at Nurse Redheart. She nodded with smiling surprised with the ultrasound “That’s what I’m getting.”

Twilight put her hoof to her belly and blinked constantly. She did know how to feel, elated of having so many little foals to cherish or terrified at the massive task ahead of her to not only become a mother for the first time, but also have three times the work, on top of everything else.

Flash shaking slightly wrapped his wing around her “It’s okay Twilight, we’ll do it together.”, Twilight glanced at the ultrasound screen at the outline of the foals and her expression softened. Then her eyes narrowed “Wait, Nurse, the middle one.”, Nurse Redheart moved the scanner down to get a better view and their eyes widened, Twilight stuttered “Is, is, that, one an, an Alicorn?”

The Nurse moved the scan around to check the others and the shock continued “Yes Princess, their all Alicorns!”

Flash fainted. Twilight could not blame her husband. She put her hooves to her bump and whispered to her foals “Please, be good for Mommy and Daddy.”, she felt a stir and her eyes darted to the screen.

The three little foals shifted slightly. A tear and smile appeared on her face and she rubbed the bump “Thank you.”

Author's Note

Forgive me but I lost the feel for this story, and thus lost interest in continuing it.

The thing about me is I need an idea that interests me enough to commit it to writting or an idea that sticks with me enough to demand it write it so I can free up space in my head for new stuff.

I may get an inspiring enough idea to restart writing again, so I'll put the story on indefinate hiatus, but don't expect anything soon.

Magi Tail Welkin.