A Man's Home is His Castle, Fortress, Bunker, Place of Residence

Help Me I'm Drowning!!

This is not a joke people I mean it, look I know what I said in the last chapter about hormones and pregnancy but this is just ridiculous. Ok, let me explain what's going on, then maybe you'll understand now let me set the mood for you.

Two months have passed since Estrus, the Wedding, and the Honeymoon, and things are going about as you would expect. To put it simply Discord would be so happy with all the chaos that is going on at the house. Somethings happened and I am still trying to repress the memories of those events. Needless to say, I took up wearing my armor a lot of times if that gives you an idea of some of the shit I've been going through. But I will say this Bertha did give birth to her calf and he is a cute little guy though he does look more dragon than taur the little horns and tuff of hair on his more than bovine head still show who his mother is.

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I did do one thing that Bertha loved, on the little guy's birth certificate I put my name as his father. To show me how much she loved it giving him the name Carlin Mac Cumhaill (Carlin in Gaelic means Little Champion) every chance we were alone we'd fuck like rabbits and one week after she had Carlin we found out she was pregnant again. The reason we found out she was pregnant so fast is, that, surprise, she is having twins.

But that's not what this chapter is about it's about well some of it is but there are a few fun things that happened one was when Iron Will came back to town. You know that big bullheaded doof funny thing is it turns out he's Bertha's brother, her baby brother but yeah. Now, this is the funny part he started talking shit and I just couldn't help it I remember this one thing on youtube called Epic Rap Battles of History so I thought it would be fun to see if it could happen here. I mean these guys will start singing at the drop of a hat so why not rap at the drop of a hat and it worked although Zecora was the one who stepped up and dam that's why I love that mare.

The best two minutes ever according to Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and well everypony else.

In the end, we found out that Will was just there to "borrow" some bits from his wealthy sister. See after his failure with an airship touring gig he needed some bits to get back on his feet, hooves, and finding out that his big sister was now rolling in bits. He decided to come by and see her but the look on his face when he found out that Twilight Sparkle was her herdmate was priceless. Yeah, I was confused about that until she told me about how he guilt-tripped her on a cruise her family was on. That was strike two, for the guy, first was what he tried with Bertha now this the guy had one more chance. If he struck out on it then I was going to personally drop him into the next time zone.

If all of you think that we're this super ultra-rich family you couldn't be farther from the truth, yes we do have money but I talked everyone into giving back to the community in general. This helped the economy of the town a great deal, in fact, the population of the town almost doubled in the first month. Gilda even suggested sending some back to Griffonstone to help rebuild which we did and I got some sweet lovin' from both of my Giffonesses.

As for Iron Will, we decided to help him out but not before having him sign an eighty-four-page contract. It just said he will pay back the loan in two years time or he will be placed in jail although the fine print which I don't think he read, stated that if that happens I as in myself me Brian gets to cut off his horns his balls and dick and I get to shove them up his ass.
So here's hoping he pays us back.

But like I said Pregnancy is or can be scary if you don't know what to do and most of what I know is from my Grandmother teaching me and in turn, I am teaching Spike. But enough about that let me tell you some of the fun stuff that happened. Ok now, The Fianna of Everfree's number increased with Gilda, Reva, Ember, and Fluttershy. Yes, even Flutter's like I said away's back if we don't have to kill any of the monsters we don't and after we discovered five new species and eight subspecies she wanted to join, well that and we found a breezies colony. Yes even I will say the little guys are cute to a point, but telling males and females apart was hard until you look into their eyes no I'm serious that's the only way to tell their gender.
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Now as for Gilda, Ember, and Reva joining Gilda wanted to do it well because she's Gilda that, and she gets so turned on when she's either hold or shooting a gun. I'm not joking about that the first time I took her for target practice after it was over she got into a submissive position and had me pound her. Ember wants to learn better ways to not only protect our family but the Dragon Lands. Reva her reason sounded speciesist at first still does I'm a dog we can track anything so I'll be a tracker, to be honest, I think she just needs something to do. The only thing I had her promise was she would not be alone actually none of the girls were to be alone call me overprotective but I don't care. Like I said before I had this feeling something big was coming and it just wouldn't go away.

Speaking of Ember I did have to go with her to the Dragon Lands to let all the dragons know that she now had a mate and that said mate was the fearsome creature know as a human. Now I just want to say this I will never forget what it looked like for thousands of dragons as tall as a two to three-story building just take off after seeing little ol me. I am not joking they were like cockroaches scattering when you turn on a light. Ember had to use that scepter of hers to get them to come back and even then they all stayed away from us. It took Torch to show them that I gave him that stupid damn spear and me swearing the Oath of Fire that I would not harm or kill any dragon unless it was a last resort for them to even give me a chance.

Bunch of scaley little wimps if you ask me hell Pumpkin, Pound, Rythem, and Blues are braver and their still babies.

After our visit to the brave land of the dragons (insert sarcastic tone here) we headed past the land of the Changelings. Or as I like to call it the Roach Motel. Seriously people their bugs, ponifide bugs but still bugs. Wonder what would happen if I threw a can of Raid into their hive? Oh well, mabey next time moving on.

As I said before I had this feeling something bad was coming and my grandmother always told me to trust my feelings.
See on our way back home we stopped by Applelossa to see Braeburn and the misses. We just came over the crest of the hill outside of town when we saw it Applelossa was gone. I don't mean the place didn't exist I mean the town was destroyed. I quickly got in contact with everyone back home knowing something like this wouldn't be good for them, especially for Applejack seeing as Braeburn lives here.
We made our way to his homestead to see that about half the trees were uprooted but the house looked fine for the most part.

"Braeburn Oi Braeburn where are you!" I yelled out.

"Over here" We heard a voice calling.

Making our way over to the house I saw Little Strongheart waving to us. "What the hell happened here?" I said looking at the downed trees.

"We don't know one minute it was a nice day and then this giant storm cloud showed up, Even the weather ponies didn't know what was happening," Braeburn said as he made his way to us.

"What do you mean the weather ponies didn't know what was going on, couldn't they, I don't know break it up or something?" Ember asked.

" They tried but something kept them from doing it like the clouds were magical." Little Strongheart said with a shudder.

"Which direction was the thing traveling?" I asked pulling out a map of Equestria it was an old drawn map but it would work.

"Ah it was heading east, yeah east," Braeburn said scratching the back of his head. "Why do y'all need to know that?" He said looking at the map.

" Well if it was heading north we'd have a big problem," I said pointing at the map to Ponyville and Cantorlot. "But I think whatever this storm is it's following the path of least resistance," Saying as I look up at the sky.

"What do you mean path of least resistance?" Ember asked me.

"This world has a preset weather pattern," I said looking at all of them. "See during the winter and spring the upper atmosphere the jet stream or wind current blows east to west but during summer and fall it blows west to east and that current is really strong," I said looking back up to the sky.

"How strong?" Braeburn asked looking up.

"Well Rainbow and Gilda tried it when I told them about it and they got to Manehatten from Ponyville in a little under six minutes," I said smiling a bit a how they looked when they got there. Rainbows mane and tail looked like Pinkies and Gilda well we won't speak of how she looked under penalty of a very painful claw-job.

Shaking those thoughts out of my head I looked at Ember. "We need to contact Cantorlot and have them warn Baltimare and Fillydelphia that they may be hit by this thing in the next two days," I said as I made my way to the SUV.

See, I told you I felt like a storm was coming, didn't I? Now all I have to do is figure out what's going on and hope I can stop it while protecting my family.

NO PRESSURE.

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