The Tale of the Butterfly - A Fairy-Tale

With every step she took she travelled further from the meadow that was her home and into the unknown. Scared to be alone, she found courage in the growing feeling of confidence that was building up inside her. Driven by her curiosity, she began to study all things that were new to her, such as strange plants and the cries of animals she now heard for the first time. And how the shifting countryside amused her! At night the sounds rose: branches cracked, leaves clicked, and yellow eyes in the shadows were seemingly following her. Sungown lay down fighting the cold, listening to the undying moan of the earth. She paid close attention. Nothing here could scare her. At least that’s what she told herself over and over again.

   After five days the dark forest that clinged to the slopes of the mountains was already close. The air was more frigid. One night she found herself resting beneath an oak that must have been over a century old, and though she had arranged a more or less comfortable bed of dried leaves she did not sleep. The sound of the earth was different to the degree that it bothered her not knowing what in the world would cause those strange sounds? At long last she got up and wandered about through the light of the full moon. Still everywhere she turned, the gnawing and scraping and murmuring did not stop. Exhausted, she dropped to the ground with hooves tucked in her ears. “I just can’t take it anymore!”, she exclaimed. “This world is oh so anxious! Please go to sleep like everyone else!”

   When a voice answered, Sungown jumped right to her hooves. “We can’t sleep as well. We’re just like you”, is what it said.

   “We?”, Sungown asked the unknown visitor. “How many of you are there?”

   “Four. Or five if we count you in. Five tiny souls lost in the forest.”

   “I’m not lost. I’m just tired. But something always keeps me awake.”

   “We can’t sleep as well”, the voice reiterated as a second one added: “We’re cold and scared.”

   After following the voices for a little while, Sungown discovered their origin in a hole in the ground right between the roots of the oak she had made camp under. As she look down, four pairs of eyes looked back. “Come on out. I won’t harm you.” Stepping aside, she made way to four young rabbits hunched up timidly as they emerged from the ground. “So you’re the little troublemakers that keep me from sleeping”, she sighed.

   “We dug this burrow because we lost our way”, the oldest replied - his was the voice that had spoken first.

   “For how long have you been away from home?”

   “Two days!”, a third one cried. “We don’t know what to eat.”

   “And we’re cold”, the fourth rabbit - the smallest - said.

   Pity came over her heart. “Now, now, don’t be scared. My name is Sungown and I will protect you. Right after sunrise we’ll look for your home. I shall return you to your family.”

   With that said, the rabbits snuffled the nightly breeze with their tiny noses. Shivering from the cold, Sungown told them to cuddle up to her to find some comfort and rest. But even after spreading her wings and covering the young ones under her feathers they were still shaking. Here she took the blue blanket she was wearing as a kerchief and tore it apart until four equally large pieces were assembled to cover the rabbits with. Minutes later they were sleeping peacefully.

   After some time had passed, Sungown looked up and into the shadows. “Reveal yourself, now, don’t be shy”, she whispered. “I can see well in the darkness and the moonlight makes your whole body shimmer. Are you to be feared? No, I don’t think so - if so, you would have attacked long ago. But why are you in hiding then?”

   “My deepest apologies”, a quiet voice answered as the speaker appeared from the twilight: it was a dragonfly. “Since the kits were already asleep I did not want to bother them. I did not intend to scare you, either. For that I beg your pardon. But you see, I know them, and I know their mother. I came across your camp by chance and looked closely as you tore up your kerchief. Tomorrow I will lead them home. All tribe was looking for them. What a relief!”

   “How nice of you, dear dragonfly. Please, do tell me your name so I can thank you for your service.”

   “Lousy they call me - named after those lousy songs I use to sing. My voice is rough course; no one ever bothers to listen to me longer than necessary.”

   “I like you, Lousy”, Sungown remarked. “Do you mind singing me one of your songs tomorrow? I don’t care how awful you sound. All life did I only listen to the beauteous voices of my family. I’m eager to learn what a lousy voice may sound like! But you must forgive me - the day was long and the night is short. Let me shut my eyes for a moment.”

   Lousy sat down on a tulip nearby. “True, in due time the sun will show. I will guard your dreams like you guard my precious little children, young pony.”

   But Sungown couldn’t hear a word he was saying: the moment she closed her eyes, she was fast asleep. The next day quickly came and the rabbits were delighted to find Lousy sitting next to them. “High time we head home”, he hollered. The trail Lousy showed them was covered in undergrowth, easily overlooked by those who paid no attention. The rabbits played and laughed, running and hopping through the grass and - from time to time - encircling the dragonfly in chanting:

Lousy, Lousy, flying fuzz!

Lousy, Lousy, sing to us!

Lousy, Lousy, tiny thing!

Show us, show us how to sing!

Whereat Lousy darted from one rabbit ear to the other as swift as an arrow (as it was the art of the dragonflies) and began to sing one silly song after the other, each of which earned him cackling laughter; by far the most beloved song was this one:

The dog will always aim to jest,

And stands at five feet tall,

He holds his legs tight to his chest

Afraid to lose ‘em all,

He likes to rest, at that he’s best,

Behold the dog that aims to jest!

After all that running and jumping, the rabbits soon tired and explained that they needed a rest. They came to a small river and stopped. Within seconds, the kits fell asleep.

   “The mother”, Lousy told her, “will reward you amply for finding her sons. She is old and harsh and would have given anything to bring them back home safe and sound. When the sun reaches its peak we will arrive at the palace. Until then you ought to think of a gift that you see fit.”

   “A palace, you say? The mother is that rich, is she not?”

   “Indeed she is. She is prosperous and watches over all that live under her reign. No fox nor falcon dare to enter her realm. They paid respect to her father and now to her. She is the Queen of the Grove.”

   “I pulled four little princes out of the earth, then!”, Sungown exclaimed in laughter.

The Queen of the Grove’s empire was a vast valley that lay blithely in between deep chasms. A light forest bustled at the very center of said valley, and within the forest an ancient tree stood, older and bigger than any other tree, with bark rutted and branches knotty. The tree’s roots reached far into the ground and the leaves were of a striking crimson red, and when the wind rustled them it appeared as though the voice of an immensely old being spoke. Il-Frawith the rabbits called him, the Old Whisperer. They believed that as long as the Old Whisperer continued murmuring in his ominous way no harm would come over their home.

   Lousy led the group to the grove’s border where two grimly looking badgers patrolled. Under the guidance of the badgers they wandered down a path hemmed by golden flowers. Long rods were planted on the ground before them with colored lanterns on top; at nightfall they were to be ignited to keep the darkness at bay. Their path continued to take them deeper and deeper underground and, passing an enriched gateway, the group finally entered the palace. Here a large hall awaited them with walls high and ornamented pillars that reached up to the ceiling. Sungown was marvelled by the view: Though deep beneath the surface, the ceiling was entirely made from the roots of what must have been the Old Whisperer as they wreathed their way around. Soft fabric covered the ground and as Sungown looked around, she found even more pillars, smaller and crested, showing wonderful effigies and a language she could not read. The badgers brought them to a massive throne carved out of some yellow wood at the very end of the hall, kneeled and then stepped aside at the sound of fanfares and trombones. Standing left of the throne, a red squirrel proudly hold up a magnificent banner. The Queen of the Grove proofed to be an old wrinkled rabbit with long ears that hang down to her feet sitting on what Sungown imagined to be an uncomfortable seat. And though of old age, Sungown could not have thought otherwise of her than as a queen. Undying sublimity radiated from her whole appearance that set her apart from all animals she had ever seen.

   Lousy bowed before Her Majesty and presented her suddenly well-behaved sons that lined up left to right in order oldest to youngest. Thus the queen went on her knees and her sons jumped high into the air before running up to their beloved mother, kissing her passionately and hugging her of soil smelling fur to the delight of her subjects that crowded the hall. In return the queen kissed each of them on the cheek as her face softened and tears flooded her vigilant eyes. She then stood up and gave the chamberlain a signal - a mole emerged from the crowd and took the princes by the paw to bring them to their chambers. Again Lousy bowed and started to inaugurate her in what had happened: How the princes had lost their way in the forest, seeking shelter underneath an oak where Sungown happened to stumble upon them; Sungown, as Lousy claimed several times, comforted the kits rather thoroughly, even tearing apart her blanket to keep them warm (here he handed her the pieces to proof his words true and pointed at Sungown, who kneeled every time her name was mentioned even though she didn’t think of it as a necessity). The queen listened closely without asking any questions. Once the dragonfly had finished, she stood silent for a few more seconds before saying:

   “From my father I inherited all the riches of this valley and the influence it is shrouded in. Yet I felt as poor as the poorest mouse when I found my sons to be missing. Empty is the heart of a mother deprived of her children. But now they have returned, all thanks to you, dear Sungown. And for that you have my gratitude.”

   “It was sheer luck that led me to them, Your Majesty”, Sungown quickly responded. “We would have never been able to find the way were it not for Lousy who searched far and wide for them, even in the uncertainty of the night. His love for the princes is as big as yours. He deserves the praise more than I do.”

   “Your modesty honors you. Though it appears you don’t know who you’re talking to. As Queen of the Grove I meet generosity with friendliness, loyalty with love, and courage with honor. You saved my children. As a token of my gratitude I’ll allow you to pick one thing - one thing, whatever it may be - from any chamber of my palace; it shall be yours.”

   “Your Highness, nothing is there in your realm that I desire. No treasure do I wish for and I do not envy another soul for what he possesses. I am a honorable butterfly and have no need for any valuables. Your gratitude is what I’ll take, not more.”

   The queen though fostered a deeply hatred towards the butterflies and their frivolous lives without any rule or standard, but she did find a liking a that humble pony and thought of her words as a joke - why on earth should she call herself a butterfly after all? Bursting into laughter, she uttered: “Phenomenal! A butterfly is what you are, but there are none in my kingdom. If you want to stay - to this I invite you wholeheartedly - you must become a rabbit. You may stay as long as you wish, or until you’ve decided on what I can grant you. I’ll have the maids prepare a room for your own.”

   “Is it possible for me”, Sungown thought, “to become a rabbit? I won’t, probably, dig any holes and doubt I could ever outrun a rabbit, but to learn how they think and how they behave? How wonderful it’d be to find out!” Then she quickly replied: “There’s no telling of how much of a rabbit I’ll proof to be in the end, but if it’s a rabbit your expect for a guest a rabbit shall I become. Or give it my best shot, at least.”

   Thus it was decided. Sungown was assigned a nice chamber in a quiet wing of the palace near the surface. For the first time in her life she slept on velvet cushions and watched Il-Frawith at sunset through a window in the ceiling as his leaves followed the motions of the breeze. (He spoke to her in her dreams and it took her a while until the songs of the earth had been replaced by fairy-tales mumbled in his beautiful soothing voice.) Lousy showed her all corners of the realm. At first the forest and its inhabitants whose names Sungown swiftly learned; then the valley, and Sungown memorised every single path; finally the borders: the chasms that shielded the valley from the south and east, the woodland they had passed on their way up here in the west and, up in the north, a powerful river whose cold water originated from the mountains, the very same she used to watch from the meadow when the air was clean; now they majestically stood above all, and Sungown was deeply intimidated. She learned the customs of the rabbits and how to act at the royal household in an appropriate manner. She learned their language and was soon called by her rabbit-name only: Hath Atal, “Bearer of the Sun” or “She Who Is Dressed in Sunlight”. She socialized with the princes on a daily bases and visited their lectures, she learned much from their teachers, especially the lunar phases and celestial constellations, salutary herbs as well as those who could poison you and, of course, predators that roamed the hills beyond the borders. Paying close attention, she even began tutoring the princes if they had trouble understand a topic. Eventually she had given every tree in the forest a name in the rabbit-language and knew when it was best to lie in their shadows in order to avoid the heat that came over the village everyday.

   The rabbits, as she soon came to realise, were efficient and agitated creatures that lived in strict hierarchy - way different from how she had been raised. The Queen of the Grove was their leader and decided all. Was there an argument, she settled it; was there a crisis, she ended it. Yet as kind and diligent her reign was, she did not shy away from using harsh measures: then she was fearsome and cruel. One time, two brothers happened to come across the same tasty plant. Both wished to eat it without sharing, a fight developed with one of them being struck at the head in such a way that he went blind. The queen hesitated not and banished the responsible brother from her lands under penalty of being torn asunder by the guard badgers. Sungown tried desperately to persuade the queen - to no avail. As a result, Sungown grew distant and often avoided Her Majesty altogether. The following days she took her meals - against the tradition - alone in her room and remained silent.

For seven months Sungown lived in the valley and Lousy was her best friend. The old dragonfly never missed the opportunity to tell a silly anecdote and was a welcomed counterpart to the rigorous tone in the palace. He sang to her and she learned his rhymes. She did not care how his voice cracked when it was too low, or how he couldn’t hold a high note. “You’re like the tree in that way”, she had once told him. He was embarrassed. In a way, he had fallen in love with her. He liked her and watched over her. A few weeks after her arrival she begged him to teach her how to fly. “Neither my mother nor the birds could show me. Help me, please, for it is what I desire most!” Day after day, once all duties had been done, they tried to teach a rabbit how to fly. However, Lousy did not know - and in that regard took after her old teachers - how a pegasus flew, not to mention a rabbit. He could show her but the way of the dragonfly, with wings buzzing so fast they were practically invisible. Sungown’s wings had little strength in them. She didn’t know how to position them let alone flap them as rapidly as old Lousy could. After ten frustrating days of trying she heavy-heartedly forfeited.

   “I’m so sorry. This is all I can teach you”, Lousy whispered.

   “You’ve given it your best shot”, Sungown replied, a worn-out smile on her face. “I can’t force you to make me less bad than I am.”

   But he had noticed the dismay in her eyes and felt her pain. He barely lifted her mood with his songs and stories. Deep inside, he knew the disappointment was gnawing on her. Whenever he lay his eyes on her he could feel it, see it. It simply broke his heart.

   On the first day of the eighth month of her stay in the valley they lay near a pond. Lousy looked after the princes as they played amidst the reed. They had grown a lot since Sungown had dug them up and now wore their pieces of the blanket as a kerchief, just like the pegasus used to. The sun hid behind swathes of thin clouds gathered at the horizon, the grass was still from wet from a heavy afternoon shower. It was a cold springtime day.

   Sungown said: “Every chamber of the palace have I seen.” For she had promised the queen to examine even the smallest thing in possession of Her Majesty. Everyday she came to a new chamber - everyday she slightly shook her head. “I know every coin, every piece of linen, every crewet, every jewel and every trumpery rabbit paws had ever touched. I’ve read all the books and talked to all the teachers to the point that they cannot teach me anymore. I recognize every face and know every name and always know when the maids call to dinner a minute early. I speak their language, I act like them and only lust for plants I like the most. Sometimes I wake and wonder whether my ears have grown or whiskers have sprouted. There is oh so little that distinguishes me from them: I have become a rabbit, a real, living rabbit.”

   “You say it like it’d bother you”, Lousy noticed. “Usually you don’t appear a bit upset while talking about your time here - until now. The last time I saw you this miserable was when I couldn’t teach you how to fly. Is that what troubles you?”

   “I once left my home to learn more about the world. There was nothing that surprised me anymore. I winded up here and learned anything there is to know about rabbits and yet again do I feel the urge to go out and seek what can truly fascinate me. I love living here, Lousy. The grove is beautiful and all treat me with respect and kindness. But I didn’t stop being a butterfly just so I could become a rabbit! And I didn’t leave my family just to find another one. If I stay, I do them wrong, but if I go, I would be alone once more.” She rested her head on her hooves and watched as flies danced upon the water.

   Lousy took his time to answer. The princes were out of his sight, so he checked on them. Upon returning, he said:

   “You are not who you were when I found you in the forest, Hath Atal. Now that does not mean you are something new entirely; you’ve become more. Beforehand you have been little, now you are more, but that is not the end of it. Maybe you’ll never be all. But remember you do not lose what you are by remembering how you grew into it. Your are neither rabbit nor butterfly, you are both at the same time, and provided I could have been a better teacher you may as well have become a dragonfly. Just like that you’ll never lose a family by finding a different one. We are but the part of your family that is with you right now. Or do you wish to tell me you’d suddenly didn’t care about your friends and siblings and parents anymore? Of course not - for they are a part of you still and always will be. Just like us. Wherever your path will lead you.”

   Moved by the dragonfly’s words, Sungown sighed: “So this is goodbye then. I’ll go out to become something that I not yet have been to become everything that I love and that loves me. Thank you, Lousy, with all my heart. You’ve been a wonderful friend since the beginning. Who would have thought a dragonfly would show me how to become a rabbit?”

   When the princes came along and learned of Hath Atal’s nearing departure from the valley they all embraced each other in a warm hug. Soon the entire grove had heard the news. An enormous banquet was held in her honor attended by all her rabbit friends, they dined and drank from noon till sunset, one last time the colored lanterns - surrounded by fireflies - were ignited, she listened to Il-Frawith’s old song and slept under the stars so she would never forget how the sky looked like down here in this valley. Often would she look up and find the patterns had changed, but those of them that lay in the west were her favorites because she knew: somewhere her mother would look up to them and see the same patterns.

   The next morn Sungown visited the queen one last time. “All is prepared. Lousy will accompany you till you reach the river in the north and show you the right spot to cross it. Pay close attention, otherwise the current will sweep you away! Life at the palace will be different without you; it seems I have forgotten what it was like before you set foot in our domain. My sons learned much from you and call you friend, Hath Atal, and thus I also call you friend. Your welcome will be regal should you ever return, you butterfly in a rabbit’s fur.” With that she turned around, but before she moved the queen added: “I regret that nought in my realm proofed to be of use for you. Big or small, I would have given you anything as a token of my gratitude.”

Suddenly Sungown jumped. She now knew what the queen could give her: “The thing I want is not inside your chambers, but on the outside”, she explained. She led the queen to the yard where they had celebrated her farewell the night before and pointed upwards. “Your lanterns have always been the most precious thing in your grove. I’d like to take one with me so I will never forget the festivities we had had.”

The rods were lowered and Sungown chose a petite blue lampion that she wore with a cord around her neck. “Inside”, the queen murmured, “lies a magical stone; my ancestors discovered them centuries ago when they built this palace. It will shine for you whenever you wish for; simply imagine the visage of the sun as it shimmers from the inside of this stone, and it will be ignited.”

Lousy then escorted her to the river. They did not speak nor sing on the way. Sometimes a friendship was so true even words were rendered unnecessary. They knew what the other thought. Sadness was not with them. She crossed the river upstream where the bed was shallower. Reaching the opposing shore, she turned around to find Lousy’s tiny body buzzing through the air where she had left him. He had never crossed this border of the valley and would not do so today.