Pain erupted through my cancerous body as I awoke in the white mess that was the hospital, but it didn’t bother me anymore; I was used to it, glad that it would soon be over. My sister and brother were standing near me holding my hands tenderly. Both of them were older than me; sort of like a giant insult from the world to them that I had to die first. My death wasn’t what bothered me, what bothered me was that they had to suffer from it as well; It pained me to think of my Mum, a widow, now having two family members to mourn for, and my siblings, both of which have already lost a father, being in pain because of me. “Take care of mum, okay?” I said through smiling tears, my siblings both looked terrified, and they cried above me. My death was bittersweet, and to help me through my cancer, my siblings, having recently discovered I was a brony, bought me tons of pony merch, and brony made items. I guess they somehow figured that if I was concentrated on happiness that I would survive. How I wished they were right, for their sakes.
Lung cancer is just as fun as going on a rollercoaster ride while having a surgical operation, but in my final moments I was calm and composed, giving my final words to my family, whom I left heartbroken and in tears. My life started to flash before my eyes, though it stopped at the good parts and flashed away, ‘so this is it huh? Goodbye brother, goodbye sister, take care mu-‘
-And as if to punch me in the face, the universe grabs me by the testicles and hurls me back, into a different world, memories still intact. Have you ever felt as if the entire universe conspired against you to try and make you as fucked up as possible? That’s how I feel right now, only in my case it might be true.
Under any other circumstance, a visit to Equestria would have been very welcome, but this was definitely not the case right now: Everything seemed dull through my eyes somehow, and I noticed that I wasn’t breathing, and that my emotions felt deadened, though I forced them out of myself, at least trying to be glad I was alive. The air tasted like ash… in fact, when I went to drink the water in a nearby lake, it felt and tasted like ash, and then fell out of my bare bones like ash, touching the ground like ash, and being swept away by the wind like ash.
That’s great, I’m a skeleton, so much for the ‘glad to be alive’ statement. Not only that, but I have skeleton wings, with skeleton claws, and a skeleton beak to top it all off. “A skeletal Gryphon huh?” I asked no one in particular, “Touché, Universe, and in Equestria no less,”… like ash, I’m sorry I had to do it.
I was glad it was night, and that I wasn’t in the very center of Ponyville. I don’t know about you, but seeing as I’m an animated corpse, I really don’t want to be picked apart by magic. My ‘mind’ raced, it felt strange, as though my thoughts weren’t coming from my head, but from my entire body all at once. Flying was easy, and the only reason I was flapping my wings was to give some sort of feel to it, though I could tell I was flying under some sort of arcane power.
Oh! Did I tell you how that feels? Bloody brilliant. I can FEEL magic now, all around me, I can see it’s strands and threads, and when I think, it moves. It feels like air, but the smell of it’s life… It smells like sugar… also it tastes of ash, ‘what is it with me and ash?’
Deep in thought, I failed to notice a certain blue Pegasus come hurtling towards me at full speed. Pain, not in my body, but in the strands of magic around me; I could SEE the pain around Rainbow Dash as she was knocked unconscious.
I’d wonder why I didn’t break apart later, now is the time for heroism!
I flew down towards her now falling body as fast as I could, using magic to accelerate myself faster than gravity. She was groaning in her unconsciousness, and she woke up to look at my skelly-face. “GAHHH!!” She screamed, her wings spreading out. I was going too fast to stop. She was stopping in mid air. Next thing I know she’s inside my body, her front hooves stuck at the bottom of my ribcage. Well this is fucking awkward.
“Uhhm… Calm down please…” I asked her, though it was kind of hard for her to hear over her screaming profanities at me.
“SILENCE.” I said, surprised at the power of my own voice and anger, though I felt surprisingly weaker after that, kind of like when firewood calms down and turns into ash, damnit I did it again. Okay, stop thinking about ash. She immediately stopped, although was still panicked.
“Will you calm down,” I started, her eyes widening, “If I say this wasn’t on purpose?”
She bucked the inside of my ribcage in response, near my neck; I was still surprised it didn’t break, and apparently so was she. “How about if I figure out a way to let you go?” She glared at my neck, something I deemed impossible from her angle, I raised my hands and shrugged, ‘Pegasus…’
“I’ll take that as a, ‘maybe,’” I replied, My bones were obviously made from sterner stuff than titanium if a buck didn’t break them, and in order for her to get in she must have moved bones out of the way before they snapped back into place. Rainbow Dash started to panic, and she struggled harder against my bones and ribcage, “what’s the matter? Oh and I wouldn’t do that; If they didn’t break from a buck what do you think will happen if they close on you?” I asked, “Oh wait, I know what’s the problem!” face-palming as I realised my stupidity.
“Speak,” I said, trying to call as much power as I could to that one word. Again I suddenly felt much weaker.
She bucked again, “Let… Me… GO!” she screamed, I landed on the ground as slowly as I could, making very small movements, “This… Is… SPARTA!” I screamed jokingly, and at seeing her confused and angry “Oh right you don’t know where that’s from... anyways…” I thought for a minute, “What do you think I’ve been trying to do?” I looked at my back, her small figure trapped inside.
She whimpered as I glared at her, I wondered if I had gotten the active Rainbow Dash confused with Fluttershy, “I know, I’m ugly.” I deadpanned, looking away as I realized that I had stared at her with what was the equivalent of death. “n-No! it’s not that! Something about the way you speak is just… Scary!” she said, and for a moment I wondered if I actually HAD confused Rainbow with Fluttershy.
“Whatever…" I said ignoring my own surprise at her fear of me, "Do you know any unicorns?” I said, wincing internally as I realised I pretty much was signing up to be picked apart by magic, and that that was the only way to free Dash.
She told me of course of the library treehouse, and how she had a Unicorn friend there, along with something along the lines of "If you hurt her I'll buck you into next week". She never told me her name though, raising a couple of questions in my head.
She kept quiet on the way, and I thanked (and cursed) the universe for it. I wondered how I would introduce myself as I absentmindedly knocked on the wooden two-piece door. I mean obviously saying, “Oh hi, I accidentally swallowed your friend through my unliving body, and am now looking for somepony to help her get out via magic, but am also-”
“Uhm… What?...” I heard a familiar voice, 'Oh god please don’t tell me I said that out loud,' “What… Rainbow Dash!!!” the purple unicorn, presumably Twilight, said again, her horn glowing this time.
“Ouch…” was all I could say as I saw myself shattering to the ground, every individual bone falling down miserably. “Oh well, thanks… I guess. Now can you please put me back together?” I asked cynically, my voice coming out through the use of magic “I mean, this is pretty painful.”
Both of the ponies, wide eyed, shook their heads in disagreement.
“Well drat, I was really hoping on exploring, and you know… NOT being used as a bouncy castle by a blue, rainbow maned, Pegasus.” They didn't respond
They carried my bones inside and placed them in some sort of container, “I wonder if there are any laws regarding the freedom of undeath… oh well, guess not,” I deadpanned again, ‘I hate you, universe,’ I thought. Imprisonment or worse was not what I had in mind when I thought: ‘Equestria’.
“Although I have to say this has to be the best imprisonment I could get, under the power of the Element of Magic,” I said, they still didn’t respond, “What’s wrong? Skeleton got your tounge?” I joked.
“Undead creatures are… they… you… shouldn’t be able to voice opinions: you’re created for a purpose, usually evil… a creature of Undeath hasn’t been seen in Equestria for thousands of years!” I could hear a bit of excitement towards the end; She was obviously scared of me, but I think she also wanted to study me, I noted she said 'In Equestria', which might imply there are undead outside of it.
“Well, surely the best way to study one such as me would be to allow me to be in my normal form, and not as a corpse,” I persuaded, “I mean, what would be the point of studying a magically enhanced corpse?”
Twilight thought over it for about a minute. Bieng in a giant jar is certainly a strange feeling, it’s kind of like swimming; only you can’t move and the water is made of your own body parts.
“Twilight! You can’t seriously think letting that thing go is a good idea, right?!” Rainbow Dash butted in, apparently having regained her bravery. “I am not a ‘thing’!” I yelled, angry. Memories flooded my mind of my school and the bullies there, Rainbow Dash had just reminded me of my life before I ‘died’. I noticed my voice wasn’t quite as scary now. “Oh yeah? What’s your name then?” Rainbow exclaimed, staring me down, if that was at all possible.
“My name is… um…” I started. I hadn’t chosen a name for myself yet, and seeing as I definatley would not use my old one, I think it would only be proper to come up with one for myself now. Rainbow started to gloat about how she was right, but I stopped her, “my name is-” Xykon, Skeletor, Skellington, Richard, Undead, Skelly, Bones, Bonetalon, Lich, Arthas, The Fleshless, and a million other pun or reference names entered my head, but I knew none of them would fit, “-Actually, I would prefer not to tell you right now. I only tell my name to peop… ponies I trust.” I replied, an obvious lie, but enough to keep her from pushing me until I found a name that fit me, “for now, call me Bones,” I finished before Rainbow or Twilight could push farther. Twilight was shivering, I have no idea why, “R-Rainbow dash, didn’t you say you had to train your eyes to be more perceptive? I can handle, ‘Bones’, for now,” She said, I don’t think Rainbow Dash noticed her stuttering, or the fact that she desperatley wanted Rainbow Dash to leave.
After Rainbow left, I asked, “What’s wrong?”
“What’s w-wrong?” she asked, looking at me incredulously, realizing I actually didn’t know, she continued, “What’s wrong is that I just checked where your creator is through magic… and he is… you!” she said, whispering at ‘you’. “Don’t you realize what that means?” she asked, I would have shook my head if I could. “you’re unbound...” she paused. “which means…” she paused again, frustrating me but apparently calming herself down, 'drawing a mental list are we? “That you’re free to choose and distinguish between good and bad.”
“Well glad we got that sorted… that, is a good thing… right?” I asked hesitantly.
“yes, it’s a very good thing, Bones,” Twilight said, referring to me by name as some form of social conduct, “Because it means I get to treat you like any other pony, or err, Gryphon.” Twilight smiled warmly at my Jar, “but I’m still going to have to keep you in there, for safety reasons,” she explained, but I saw right through her bluff.
“Safety reasons?” I deadpanned, “Twilight, I’m ashamed… Lying isn’t something I expected you to do…” again, having a body to use would be great right now.
“Yeah well I don’t know about you, but I don’t tend to think straight if I’m tired. We’ll talk tomorrow, Bones, good night.” She said, walking up the stairs to a snoring dragon, who I knew was Spike, her ‘number one assistant’ baby dragon, and a bed. “Good night, Twilight,”
‘Don’t act like a fanboy, don’t act like a fanboy, don’t act like fanboy…’ Ran through my head several times until she completely got out of sight, and I giggled silently like a little fangirl, ‘well I did think don’t act like a fanboy didn’t I?’ I joked with myself.
Starting off to sleep, I started to close my ‘eyes’. As I did, I came to a couple of realizations:
Twilight had never given me her name.
I had said Twilight’s name.
Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day… like ash
I also seem to have an obsession with ash.
…
……
………
‘Okay what the heck, I should be asleep by no-‘
My trail of thought was halted when I saw that I was in an endless white area, unable to move or look down at myself.
“Hello,” a voice from everywhere at once said, “don’t bother trying to speak… or for that matter, don’t bother trying to move,” the voice said again, “Had you died like you were supposed to, my quota would be filled,” I would have gulped, Death itself was talking to me “Yes, yes I am,” it seemed to laugh, then continued “But it seems that part of myself decided against it: The gods are having sort of a… battle, I guess you could call it that, and it’s all coming together in Equestria,” a dark figure obscured my sight suddenly, and whispered in my ear, “But because my powers are limited to those who are dead, I have not been able to summon one who had your… unique, qualifications,” it terrified me, not the organic feeling of terror, but true, arcane terror: it dug deep into my spirit and mind, “as a result, you are living on my power, until your current body regenerates completely: and this will happen some time tomorrow, do try not to get in a… ‘jam’” it laughed at it’s poorly constructed pun, “will you? Also, I suggest getting out of that jar is a priority right now: we wouldn’t want to decorate it with newly formed guts and organs would we?” it said, ’not offering to help me though,’ I noted “and I can’t either, not again,” it said directly, lacking of an explanation as to why.
“Well, ta’. I have to go collect scores of Diamond Dogs who have recently been slaughtered. Good ‘luck’,” Death hesitated, “PS, please don’t get bucked again, making you invincible in that exact point in time is going to bring up some serious questions with some of my other, less reputable personalities."
My vision popped back to my skeletal imprisoned body.
‘How the heck am I going to get out of this one… for that matter, how the heck am I going to get out of this jar?’
…
What was that it said about Diamond Dogs?
