Admiral Trampoline Super Biscuit Shouldn't Write Shipfics, Volume I

by Super Trampoline

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Nightmare Moon, Romance, Flim and Flam, Sex, Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Zecora
Length: 1063

Equestria, where the friendship is magic and the romance is probably also even more magical. Well, usually. Sometimes, not so much.

This story is a sequel to Admiral Trampoline Super Biscuit Shouldn't Write Shipfics, Volume I

Once upon a time in a universe far, far away, two or three or five or some nonzero quantity of magic diminutive horses came together and fell in love and then unfortunately produced offspring who chronicled the way in which their parents met.

This is their story.

Trigger Warning: An EFNW collaborative project with Super Biscuit and Admiral Trampoline. We're not sorry.

Published 2017-05-15 07:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-15 07:00:01 UTC

Nightmare Moon Steps Into Zecora's Basement

Nightmare Moon made a dramatic entrance into Zecora's subterranean underground basement.

"Bwah hah hah hah ah ha" laughed the imposing edgy dark alicorn of night and eternal night and darkness and moon and stuff. "I have come to grab some dank potions for my upcoming all-night rager. Word on the street is that this hut is the place to be when it comes to amphetamines and MDMA."

"This place indeed is that you seek;
My potions surely leave you weak.
But are you dank enough to try?
My LSA your brain might fry."

"Fool! I am the queen of the Night. I eat Fatboy Slim for Breakfast and shit out the Chemical brothers. Fuck my shit up. Fuck me up, Zecora."

Zecora gazed upon the mighty mistress of the night with lidded eyes.
"Oh handsome mare, You know my name,
And evidentially, my game.
But now I have a quest for you:
To fetch for me a bag of poo."

The mischievous malignant mare reared up in anger. "Fool! Why must I gather shit?"

Zecora smiled knowingly.
"Madam, I know you seek the best,
So trust me when I give this test.
You didn't let me finish there,
For only shit of bird most rare--
A cockatrice to be precise--
Will render your high warm and nice.
Sobriety will be atoned
When on bird-lizard poop you're stoned."

"Alright, because a cockatrice gets you stoned. Haha. But will this shit make me see pony-God? Will the walls of reality melt away? Will Gen 3.5 actually become watchable?"

Zecora grimaced.
"No, my dear, I am afraid
The drugs I sell were never made
To save that pile of rotten pee
The fans call generation three.
But if you truly seek Nirvana
Blissfuller than Spa Twins' sauna,
Then perhaps the high you seek
Shall not be found chewed in your cheek,
But rather when our muzzle tips
Close the distance 'twixt our lips."

At this, the passionate zebra lunged forward, launching her muscular body towards the possessed princess of the night. Instinctually, the mare's maws rotated 30 degrees, such that when they met, they could immediately mash their faces together and with open mouths, proceed to make out.

That's the power of love.

THE END

Author's Note

Nightmare Moon Steps Into Zecora's Basement

It was a dark and stormy night in the Everfree Forest. It was also a dark and stormy night around the Everfree Forest as well. That's how night works.

And storminess. Storminess works like that, too.

Anyways, it was a dark and stormy night in the Everfree Forest, which really set the mood inside Zecora's hut. She was busily making a potion of some sort in her giant witch's cauldron, mixing together all sorts of weird shit like eye of newt and hair of dog and

generic strawberry fruit strips.

Outside, there was a crash of lightning and a flash of thunder and and the wooden door on Zecora's abode slammed open with a bang. A gust of chilly wind came in along with a creepy ~~red~~ black and blue alicorn.

“Zecora, long have I viewed you from afar, and I lust for you,” Nightmare Moon said lustfully.

“By the great (aged up) Scootaloo, who the fuck are you?”

“I am Nightmare Moon,” Nightmare Moon said, kicking the door shut with a hind hoof. “And I have seen your dreams and I know what you lust for.” She reached into her saddlebags and pulled out a ball gag with her aura, quickly stuffing it into Zecora's mouth before the zebra could rhyme again.

The evil alicorn looked around Zecora's simple hut, and she didn't see a bed. Or a kitchen, although really the firepit in the center with the bubbling cauldron probably served as a kitchen (and a bed), too.

“Where is your bedroom?” Nightmare Moon asked.

Zecora, unable to speak around the ball gag, simply pointed with a hoof to a small trap door which was kind of under a rug, but not all that well hidden.

Since when do creepy huts in the middle of creepy forests have basements? Nightmare Moon wondered. Who dug it anyways? And why?

But those were questions that were not going to be answered, at least not anytime soon. After all, Zecora had a ball gag in her mouth and couldn't really say anything, although she flicked her ears a couple of times and swished her tail perhaps by way of an answer.

Nightmare Moon tenderly lifted the zebra's hooves off the ground and promptly hobbled her, before making her way down the rickety staircase—it was really more of a ladder—into the basement, and then into Zecora's mirrored love-nest. In the zebra tradition, her love-nest had been decorated with blue beads and baubles which had been lovingly laced into the lacy legumes that bordered her bedroom.

With only a passing glance at the mirrored ceiling, Nightmare Moon laid her lover unto the heart-shaped cloud-bed, and lovingly trussed her up with sixty-six feet of black nylon rope.

Then she cast a futa spell on herself, and also on Zecora because why knot, and the two of them began snogging like an Oreck vacuum and a bowling ball [Google it].

Outside, the storm raged on, raging over the Everfree Forest and fucking all sorts of things up in Ponyville, too, but this isn't a story about the sleepover at Twilight's treebury where Applejack and Rarity totally slept together.

The morning came too soon for our loving couple. Nightmare Moon had left the trapdoor into the basement open, so Celestia's sunlight illuminated Zecora, who was fast asleep under the cursed alicorn's wing.

Outside, the forest was coming to life, and inside the hut, the two lovers were also, so they woke to the sound of birds chirping and squirrels chittering and cicadas being blessedly silent, since it was the morning and they only sing at night.

Nightmare Moon tenderly traced her wing along Zecora's stripes and then across the rings on her neck and leg and the wrap around her dock, and then the two of them made love again and then got out of bed and shared a pot of fair-trade coffee.

And that's how Equestria was made.

THE END

Author's Note

What happens when Admiral Trampoline gets a little tipsy? Nothing Good