Return Of The Evil Farmer

by General_Rommel

Rating: teen
Tags: Daring Do, Tragedy, Random, Derpy Hooves, Wonderbolts, Applejack, Drama, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 1106

Applejack comes back to life (No Shit Einstein)

After Celestia Blows Up Applejack, Death HIMSELF is drunk at the same time, meaning that he was Stupid Enough to bring Applejack back to life

Applejack is BACK YALL! And She's gon back to her KILLING SPREE!

Contains;Probably the weirdest story you've ever read, and ever WILL read, profanity, an agitated Derpy, ponies back from the dead, and a horrible put together story, and yes, it is incredibly rushed

Published 2017-06-09 22:00:05 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-09 22:00:05 UTC

Kill It With Firearms!!

Apple Bloom was sobbing over her sisters grave, "WHYYY!? Why does Celestia have such a Horrid Heart!? WHYYY?!", she whined

Then All Of A Sudden, APPLEJACK, Appears in front of Apple Bloom... Holding a Knife in her mouth.

"BIG SIS! YUR ALIVE!", Apple Blooms wrapped Applejack in a tight hug

It was so hard for Applejack to do this, that she started crying, but.....

*SHINK*

"DAFUQ APPLEJACK!?", Big Mac saw it all, he had tears in his eyes, from joy, but now he had more tears, tears of Anger bad Sadness

"Hey, Big Mac! Death was Drunk so he let me come back to life! And yes, Celestia Blew me up for a reason...", Applejack said with an EVIL Grin

"BUT OUT OF ALL PONIES, YOU HAD TO DO IT TO APPLE BLOOM?!", Big Mac raised his voice to the top of his lungs

"Listen, Brother, it ain't ponyal(Person-al, so, i had to do pony-al)", Applejack said

"DAUGHTER OF THE DEVIL!", Big Mac bellowed

"Sheesh, that's too much"

"YOU KILLED APPLE BLOOM!"

"I think yur' REAL name shoulda been "'Mig' Mac'n'Cheese", hehe" ('Mig' is a Russian Fighter Jet)

"YOU CALLIN' ME A RUSSIAN?!"

"I thought that the Mac'n'cheese part would be more offensive"

"Wait till Celestia Hears About This!", Big Mac said

"She Won't... Cuz ur next on mah list...", Applejack grinned EVILLY again

"Yes She WILL!", Derpy yelled from in one of the trees. She jumped out of her hiding spot and started Flying Towards Canterlot, flapping Her Wings faster than she ever had before.

Canter-A-Lot :trollestia:

The Wonderbolts were visiting Canterlot. They RIGHT THEN noticed Derpy flying at an Unusual speed, probably fast enough to BECOME an Official Wonderbolt.

They Asked Derpy what the problem was, and right when Derpy got to the part where Applejack came back from the dead, they instantly flew off to Cloudsdale.

They grabbed Military Equipment, it was ONLY supposed to be used by Celestia's Command, but they were all like "Screw the Princess's Rules, We need to kill that Farm Pony"

They grabbed 12.7mm Machine Guns, 20mm and 37mm Cannons, yeah, Applejack is gonna die FOR GOOD. and best of ALL, they grabbed 20000Lb Bombs, even though it took ALL OF THEM to carry that Bomb, it was worth it.

A Siren went off, That wasn't the Wonderbolts, they were too sneaky. Their sneakiness was taught to them BY Rainbow Dash. But then who set off the Alarm?

Derpy burst thought the Doors, Holding 2 50mm Cannons, and she had multiple 50lb Bombs strapped to Her Chest. "FOR RAINBOW DASH!", Derpy yelled.

Celestia Gave Chace to the group of Pegasi, hoping to stop them from doing what WAS necessary, but Celestia didn't think it was even A BIT necessary.

"STOP! By order of ME, I command you to STOP WHERE YOU ARE!", Celestia yelled

But they Pegasi were trained fliers, and they outran Celestia easier than eating Pie.

Mean Apple Acres :trollestia:

Applejack was currently in a fierce battle with Big Mac. Big Mac was trying to Buck Applejack, while Applejack only hit with her knife, his Steel Horseshoes.

After 5 minutes, Applejack managed to get a blow on Big Macs Flank, killing him. Applejack had blood stains all over her body. She smiled Evilly at her Dead Brother, but her joy ended when she heard the sound of jets roaring.

"FOR RAINBOW DASH!", Derpy yelled and started firing her 50mm cannons

*BOMF!!. BOMF!!. BOMF!!. BOMF!!.*

The Wonderbolts started firing every gun they had strapped to them. Their 12.7mm Machine Guns, their 20mm cannons, and their 37mm Cannons.

After what seemed like hours, Applejack was pinned, both of her back legs were hit at the same time by Derpy's 50mm Cannons. "PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!", Applejack pleaded

"AFTER KILLING RAINBOW DASH!? NOT A CHANCE!", Derpy yelled and dropped her Payload of 4 50lb Bombs, and The Wonderbolts dropped the 20000lb Bomb.

*KABOOOOOMFFF!!!!!!*

The Pegasi had to get behind Cover that way they wouldn't get hit by any shrapnel.

A Few Days Later
Cloudsdale

"Derpy, Even though it wasn't entirely Necessary, you still proved yourself to be worthy", Celestia said

"Worthy For what?", Derpy asked

"Your choice, The RAF, or the Wonderbolts"

"WONDERBOLTS! RAINBOW DASH WOULD'VE WANTED ME TOO!", Derpy yelled

"Then You are now an Official Wonderbolt!", Celestia said

The Wonderbolts wrapped Derpy in a Tight Hug.

"It's what Rainbow Dash would've done", Soarin said

Next Day

Daring Do decided to Visit Cloudsdale, she knew that she would get ALOT of attention, but it was SORTA Normal. She went here for one purpose: To Visit Derpy.

Derpy was in the Lockerroom, staring at Rainbow Dash's Locker.

"You gonna get ready or what?", Soarin asked Derpy, they hadn't gotten her a nickname yet

"Oh, y-yeah, I'll be ready in a bit", Derpy responded, it was her first day as an official Wonderbolt

"Ok, see ya in a bit", Soarin said

After Soarin left, Some loud screaming was heard from outside the lockeroom.

"SHES ALIVE!!", Soaring yelled

"Wat?", Spitfire asked

"RAINBOW DASH IS... somehow still alive?", Soaring said

"Lemme see!", Derpy said

"*SIGH* I swear Soarin, is this is a horrible prank you've set up, your face is gonna have a new relationship with my hoof", Spitfire said

Some MORE screaming was heard, it was some screaming with some cracking in it. Yep, that's Rainbow Dash

"DARING DO!", Rainbow Dash screamed

Daring Do stood their eyes wide open and mouth hanging.

"WAIT?! How are you alive?!", Derpy asked

"So I lost the bet on purpose", Rainbow Dash said

Everone else gasped, except or Rainbow Dash of course

"I was planning this all along, I had mad Death drunk, and I convinced him to release Applejack while he was drunk, so that way Derpy would try to kill Applejack again. I KNEW that she would succeed, She was waiting to join the Wonderbolt ever since I had become one."

"Wait, so all this was for Derpy?", Spitfire asked

"YUP!", Rainbow Dash said

Daring Do's eyebrows were so flat, that a Ruler would be jealous. "Do you even REALIZE the risk you took there Dash? You shouldn't tamper with Death HIMSELF!", Daring Do said

"I knew it would be risky, but part of my love for doing Risky things DID come from you Daring Do...", Rainbow Dash said

Daing Do's Facehoof was so good, that she would've won a medal for how good it was.

To Be Continued?......

no

Author's Note

Its a sequel to A Stupid Story, so OF COURSE the sequel would ALSO Be stupid :trollestia: