The Best Man

Chapters

Chapter 1: The Announcement
Chapter 2: The Arrival
Chapter 3: The Tuxedo
Chapter 4: The Bachelor Party
Chapter 5: The Dinner
Chapter 7: The Return
Chapter 6: The Ceremony

Chapter 1: The Announcement

The Best Man

By Alaborn

Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.

Chapter 1: The Announcement

Friday, October 25, 2019
Merrillville, Indiana

Evan Sedmak hated it when an early morning telephone call woke him up.

He checked the time. 6:30 AM. Most days, he would already be up at this hour. Being the manager of a health club, it came with the business. But on the days he actually got to sleep in, he dreaded the early morning call. Normally, it meant something went wrong.

He looked at the number first. It wasn't work, thankfully. He then saw the name, that of his little brother, Jason.

He picked up the phone. “What's up, bro?”

“Hey, Evan. Hope I didn't wake you.”

“It's okay. I always have time for my favorite brother.”

“Only brother,” Jason noted. “I have some news I wanted to share with you.”

“Yeah?”

“Rose and I have set a date. June 27. The first Saturday of next summer.”

“That's great news! And about time, let me say.”

“I know. There were always... issues that got in the way,” Jason said. “But they're gone now, and we can finally make it official.”

“Where's the wedding?”

“Rose's home town. We're still working on the details. But I wanted to tell you now. And you're the first person I've told. You know what that means, right?”

“Jason, it's too early to think,” Evan said.

“It means I want you to be my best man, Evan. You've always been there with advice when I needed it, and I don't know how I would have survived college without your help.”

“No need to justify it. Of course I'll be your best man.”

“That's great!”

“Can't wait. Guess I'll have to work on a speech.” Evan paused. He remembered that today was Friday. His brother always worked in rural areas, so he was never reachable except on weekends. “Wait, do they have you working somewhere with cell phone service today?”

“Actually, I'm at the airport,” Jason said. “I'm going to Colorado for a vacation. I'm going to... meet up with some old friends.”

“Hey, if you want to go to Colorado to sample the local herb, I'm not going to tell Mom and Dad. But you better call them next and tell them the good news.”

“Of course. I want to make sure to tell everyone before anything else comes up.”

“All right. Have fun on your trip.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” Evan hung up the phone, and was asleep before he could wonder what the “anything else” was.

Two days later, Evan found himself confined to his office. After two solid hours of work, he finally stuffed one last envelope. The pile of paperwork that built on his desk during the week was now mostly tamed. From communication with members, bills, and orders to suppliers, far too much still required physical mail. He gathered up the mail to take it to the mailbox, where it would go out the next morning.

When Evan stepped out of his office and onto the floor of the health club, he sensed something was wrong. The normal noise of people exercising was not present. Even during the deadest of times, he could normally hear a treadmill or exercise bike in use, and it definitely shouldn't be this quiet on a Sunday.

There were several people on the floor, but none of them were exercising. They were all staring at the television, which currently was showing an aerial view of a football stadium, except that at its center, there was a glowing silver... stargate, for lack of a better word.

“What is this?” he asked.

“Aliens,” one of the guests replied.

He looked at the chyron on the bottom of the screen. “Alien race visits Boulder” “Strange phenomenon first spotted at Folsom Field at 10:34 AM local time” “Two alien 'Equestrians' emerged from portal at 1:00 PM local time” “Celestia: 'We seek to build bridges of friendship, harmony, and understanding between our worlds”

The television switched to show a recording of the latter event. The aliens resembled unicorns with wings. One was white and taller than the other, who was colored a very unnatural violet; the white one possessed a commanding presence. Both glowed with a silver energy like that of the portal.

The recording replayed the larger equine's brief speech. Strangely, it was in perfect English. She struck Evan as wise and powerful, despite looking like something from that cartoon he knew his little brother watched (and, being a saintly big brother, pretended he didn't know).

She then said that her devoted student, Twilight Sparkle, would stay in our world to speak on behalf of her people. The larger equine, Celestia, then departed, stepping into the portal and disappearing. The smaller equine stepped away from the portal, and as its silvery glow faded, she transformed, taking the form of a human woman wearing a formal ball gown.

“That was the scene at Folsom Field in Boulder, Colorado earlier today,” the newscaster announced. “Few details were revealed by the remaining visitor, the one called Twilight Sparkle, as she departed, accompanied only by a number of other figures that emerged from the portal after her. She promised answers at a scheduled press conference. We go there now, live.”

The camera switched to showing what looked like any hotel conference room. There was a stage set up, on which was a table with seats and microphones for eight, but only this same equine turned woman was there, wearing that same ball gown, one that called to mind images of Cinderella. “Hello?” she spoke into the microphone. Then she cleared her throat and began her speech.

“Good afternoon, people of Earth. My name is Twilight Sparkle, one of the princesses of Equestria, and on behalf of all the ponies and peoples of Equestria, we bid you welcome. We hope that the bonds of friendship and harmony that already connect our worlds will grow and flourish with the introduction of formal relations.

“Some of you may know me from a recently concluded television program, which, though not a completely accurate representation of our world, contains the core message that friendship is magic. Princess Celestia speaks of the existence of this television program as evidence that friendship and harmony are forces powerful enough to bridge universes. We will not be discussing this television program here; it is a subject matter best left to the philosophers.

“In truth, our worlds have been linked for years, and a few brave volunteers have formed the foundation of a bridge between our worlds. I will now be joined by several humans who have lived in Equestria for the last several years. Together, we will answer your questions. A press release will also be provided to each of you, and more information about our actions can be found at AmericanEquestrianSociety.com.”

Evan didn't notice the mail fall from his hands as he stared, watching his own brother take the stage.

Once he recovered his senses, Evan Sedmak knew he wouldn't be getting any more work done that day. He went home, turned on the television, and pulled out his tablet.

The news about first contact with ponies was on every channel, with the newscasters struggling to make sense of what was, frankly, unbelievable. Trying to wrap their heads around the idea of alternate dimensions, portals, and magic was obviously taxing them. Yet the evidence was incontrovertible. One of the clips that kept getting replayed was video from when Twilight Sparkle took several of the journalists from the press conference through a portal she created. There was a flash of light, and then they appeared in front of a giant crystal castle, with Twilight Sparkle back in her normal winged unicorn form and all of the humans turned into ponies. If any of the journalists were skeptical before, they became believers once they saw their own hooves.

Evan called up the Web page mentioned in the press conference. It turned out to be a simple affair, mostly text with a long list of links, and even that page took forever to load. The section talking about how the portals worked was filled with a lot of words that could best be summarized as “It's magic; try not to think too hard about it”. Each of the participants had their own profile, along with links to videos.

He followed one of them under his brother's name; it led to a YouTube clip that already had twelve million views. Evan shook his head in disbelief as he heard his brother's voice coming out of the royal blue unicorn on the screen. He was narrating a tour of an open-air marketplace, which could have been the local farmers' market, except populated by ponies. Many of them were wearing harnesses, suggesting they pulled these carts just like horses. Many of the carts held just one crop, while others had a variety of goods. One of the latter ponies gave him a big smile as he approached, and they chatted for a while.

Evan's eyes widened as he heard something on the video. He rewound it and replayed it to make sure.

That pony's name was Rose.

Evan had tried calling his brother right after seeing the announcement. Not surprisingly, his call went straight to voice mail. It wasn't until 1:30 that next morning that his phone rang. Seeing his brother's name, he immediately picked up.

“Jason?”

“Hey, Evan,” he said. “I, uh, guess you saw it?”

“I saw the press conference. I watched all your videos. That's real? All of it?”

“It's real. That's been my life for the last six years. Um... sorry for lying to you like that.”

“I can see why you did it. So, just wanted to make sure, the woman you introduced to the family, the one you're marrying, is actually a pony?”

“Yes. She's a wonderful woman, no matter what world she's in.”

“Are people, I mean ponies, whatever, okay with that?” Evan asked.

“It's kind of a complicated question, given the number of sapient species in Equestria, but it's generally accepted. I think it helps that the magic of the portal turns people into ponies; any species that walks on two legs is considered strange.”

“From what I've seen online, we're still trying to figure out what to make of it, but it's not stopping us from talking about it. And I thought the last presidential election had people talking!”

“I'm glad you're accepting of it,” Jason said.

“Well, Mom and Dad always taught us to be tolerant... guess we're going to push the limits of that understanding.”

“I'll need to talk to them next, tell them what they'll have to expect for the wedding.”

“Expect?” Evan said. Then he figured it out. “You mean that to be your best man, I'm going to turn into a pony too.”

“You got it.”

“Anything for you, little brother. Talk to you later.”

“Bye.”

Evan hung up the phone and took another look at the television. It was showing one of the clips of Equestria, not one of the ones he had seen. He looked again at the cute ponies and swore.

“The things I do for family.”

Author's Note

To initiate First Contact, one of the humans suggested creating a portal at a university's stadium on Sunday morning, the day after a college football game. They knew the field wouldn't be in use, but there would be dozens of witnesses at work cleaning up the stands.

I have several more chapters written, but this story isn't finished. I'll release a chapter a week, and I hopefully will complete the remaining chapters in time.

Chapter 2: The Arrival

The Best Man

By Alaborn

Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.

Chapter 2: The Arrival

Tuesday, June 23, 2020
Indianapolis, Indiana

Evan Sedmak had followed the developing news as formal relationships were established between Earth and Equestria. Exchanges between the worlds were limited, mostly due to the magical energy required to create a portal. The big news was a plan to build permanent portals in major cities across the world. It even hinted at the possibility of traveling from New York to Tokyo in less than an hour, as long as one was willing to turn into a pony in between.

But Evan wasn't in some interdimensional Grand Central Station. Instead, he was in the living room of his brother's apartment.

“So, am I the first guest coming over?” Evan asked.

“John went over Sunday,” Jason replied. “Mom and Dad aren't coming until Friday.”

“I can't say I blame them,” Evan said.

“Being a pony isn't bad. Once you get used to it, you won't even notice,” Jason said reassuringly. “But being in the wedding party, you don't have the luxury of waiting. You have important best man duties to attend to.”

“I have no idea what to do,” Evan admitted.

“If you're worried about the bachelor party, Digger and Crusher will talk to you about that. For now, just focus on getting used to the world. We'll need your help when the others cross over.” Jason checked the clock. “Get ready.”

For the last time, Evan could think of this whole situation as a mass hallucination. Videos could be faked, after all, and the people claiming to be from Equestria could be actors. But then a glowing violet field of energy appeared in his brother's living room, and it was forever real. He saw the portal, heard its slight hum, and most of all, felt it in his bones. It felt strange, unnatural.

“This is it,” Jason said. “Princess Twilight Sparkle has worked on spells to help combat the disorienting feeling of moving between universes, but it's still possible you'll pass out.”

“Great,” Evan muttered.

“A tough guy like you, though? You're strong. You can keep it together.” Jason motioned with his hand. “You go first. Be sure to lean forward, since you're going to be on all fours after.”

Evan stared at the portal and gulped. He wasn't worried about any pain; he'd run marathons and half triathlons before. But he'd never changed bodies before.

He leaned forward and fell into the portal, steeling his mind against the effects of the change. At first he felt something in the pit of his stomach, like being on a roller coaster. But that feeling spread, and then changed to a numb sensation, as if his whole body had fallen asleep. He felt an itching all over his body, pressure in his sinuses, and strange twinges in his back.

Evan's vision cleared. Where he had seen only violet, he saw shapes, albeit still with a violet color. He blinked, seeing in greater detail the translucent violet crystal walls of his destination. Everything was impossibly bright and colorful. And then he fell forward. His new hooves impacted the smooth floor. He could feel things through these new appendages, but his brain was having trouble processing them.

He felt something bump him from behind and push. His hooves slid across the ground. He tried turning his head to see what was going on, and was surprised to find his head turning nearly 180 degrees. He saw a unicorn pushing him with his head.

“You're blocking the portal, Evan,” the unicorn said with Jason's voice. Just like in the videos, Evan thought.

“How do I walk?” Evan said.

“I explained this,” Jason said. He then pushed Evan until he was safely away from the portal. “Try moving one leg; you'll feel the instinct to move the opposite leg. Then switch to the other pair.”

Evan moved his right front leg forward, and just like Jason said, he felt a pull from his left rear leg. He repeated the process with his right rear leg, then his left front leg.

“As far as I can tell, the transformation process gives you normal adult muscle memory, so if you don't think about it too hard, you should have no problem walking or even flying,” Jason said.

“Flying?”

“You're a pegasus, Evan.”

He turned his head again, finally taking in the details of his new body. He had a cream-colored coat, a tail that was mixed red and orange, and yes, two feathery wings that, intellectually, he knew should not allow flight. Yet he'd seen the videos of pegasi flying, moving clouds, and starting rainstorms.

Someone cleared her throat, and Evan looked up, noticing the other pony in the room. A violet pony with horn and wings, he recognized her as Princess Twilight Sparkle, the ponies' effective ambassador to Earth, though he was more used to seeing her human form on newscasts.

“On behalf of the ponies of Equestria, I would like to welcome you to our world, Evan Sedmak,” Twilight Sparkle said. “I'll help you get used to your body and magic later, but first, at the insistence of your government, we're going to process your paperwork.”

Evan looked at his now nude body. “Where is it?”

Jason lifted a foreleg and tapped his neck. “You'll probably find your pouch here.”

Evan repeated the gesture, noticing how much flexibility his new leg had. He touched his neck, feeling the bump of a pouch under his mane, and at the same time wondering how he could feel anything through a hoof. He tugged on the pouch, and the string it was on rotated. The pouch fell, hanging around his neck.

He held up his hoof, seeing how much larger it was then the opening to the drawstring pouch. “Now what do I do?”

“Use your mouth,” Jason said.

Evan grimaced.

“Ponies manipulate things with their lips and tongue. Don't worry, they don't drool like humans.”

Evan was surprised how mobile his lips turned out to be. He was easily able to open the pouch. It contained the contents of his wallet; his driver's license and credit cards were unchanged, but his money had changed to gold coins. He also found his passport, which is what he suspected the princess was looking for. He pulled it out with his mouth, and just like Jason said, he didn't feel the urge to drool.

Twilight Sparkle led them to another room, where a unicorn waited with a bored expression. He looked like someone had borrowed a DMV employee and sent him through the portal. “May I see your passports?” he said with a flat tone.

Jason levitated his passport over. Evan saw an orange aura surround his, matching the color surrounding the unicorn clerk's horn, and it also levitated over.

The clerk looked at Jason's passport first, in particular pulling out the two-page addendum that was introduced by their respective governments to accommodate those who would be moving between universes. “Welcome back, Stone Arch,” he said.

He then looked at Evan's passport. “I'll need to take your picture now,” he told him. The clerk held up an old-fashioned flash camera in his aura.

“Okay,” Evan said. He looked at the camera. He saw the flash and heard the click.

“Now turn,” the clerk said.

Evan turned his head.

“No, he wants you to turn your body, so he can take a picture of your cutie mark,” Jason said.

Evan winced at hearing that. He'd certainly read the name in articles about ponies, but hearing that overly cute name bothered him. A tough guy like him should not have a cutie mark. But he could see it now, a trio of free weights, ascending in size.

Evan turned his body, and the camera clicked again.

“Have you chosen to use a pony name in Equestria?” the clerk asked.

“No,” Evan replied.

“If you choose one, please come see me, and I will update your passport.” The clerk's horn glowed. “Your passport is now ready.”

The clerk levitated it over, and Evan could see the final result. The top had his human picture, along with his name and a listing of physical characteristics. The bottom was the same, except with two pictures, his face and his cutie mark, and a different set of details.

Equestrian Name: Not Chosen
Type: Pegasus
Sex: Stallion
Coat: Cream
Pattern: None
Mane: Orange, Red
Pattern: Sections

“I don't know if I'm going to need this again,” Evan said.

“If you wish to visit, we can arrange it,” Twilight Sparkle said. “Friends and family of the Friendship Pioneers will have priority for visiting Equestria.”

“I heard the capital letters there,” Evan quipped. “What are the Friendship Pioneers?”

Jason spoke first. “That's the name given for the group of us humans who have been living in Equestria.”

“They show that, even in a world without magic as we understand it, the most powerful form of magic, friendship, remains strong.”

Jason looked away. He was blushing; how one could blush with a coat of hair was a mystery to Evan.

“Now what do we do?” Evan asked.

“Let's start with giving your body a checkup, and get you used to feeling magic,” Twilight Sparkle said. “That will help you as you try to fly.”

Evan looked back at his wings. He tried moving, resembling a human shrugging his shoulders, but his wings didn't move.

“Right. It's easier once we explain it,” Twilight Sparkle said.

Evan, Jason, and Twilight Sparkle went into another room in the castle, one that looked like a study. Jason took a seat in a plush chair, while Twilight Sparkle directed Evan to stand in the center of the room.

“Shouldn't we be seeing, I don't know, a doctor or something?” Evan said.

“We'll talk to Doctor Stable only if I notice any issues,” Twilight Sparkle responded. “The magic of the portal creates for an adult human a pony body of equivalent age, fully developed in all ways, including its magical core. The only obstacle to a human using this pony magic is in the mind, knowing how to process the signals and interpret the magic. As an alicorn, I have direct experience with the magic of the three pony tribes, and I've read up on the physiology and magic of other species.”

“In other words, it's just like seeing a doctor, except without the paper-covered observation table,” Jason said.

“What I'm going to do is a standard magical reflex test. In past experience, we have found it triggers your brain to recognize magical input,” Twilight Sparkle explained.

Evan nodded. Twilight Sparkle concentrated, and eight sparks shot from her horn, each landing on Evan's wings. Evan's wings popped open with an audible pompf.

From his seat, Jason snickered.

“What?” Evan said.

“I didn't know you were so happy to see the princess,” Jason said.

Still confused, Evan looked to Twilight Sparkle, who explained. “A pegasus' wings rise as a sign of surprise or, er, excitement.”

“You'll see at the bachelor party,” Jason said.

Now Evan blushed. He looked back at his wings. “So how do I get them down?”

“The best approach we've found is to manually manipulate the wings, to get you used to the muscles involved. They don't have good analogues to the human form.”

Twilight Sparkle used a hoof to guide each wing closed. Evan noticed the feelings coming from muscles on his underside. It felt weird. While the sensation of standing on hooves was also alien, he could at least translate it in his mind. These sensations had no comparison.

“Now, I'll open your wings, demonstrating the basic strokes used in flying, and then show you how to position your wings for ascending, descending, and turning.”

Evan listened to Twilight Sparkle's lecture and focused on how each change in his wings felt to his body. The princess was a good teacher; Evan figured she had given this lecture before, to the first humans who crossed over and became pegasi.

“And those are the basics. The movement of your wings are what brings forth the magic from your core, and as an adult pegasus, you have a fully developed magical core,” she concluded.

“So like this?” Evan said. He opened his wings and flapped.

Too late, Evan noticed Twilight Sparkle shout “No!”. He rocketed up, heading straight for a chandelier. He tried to remember how to turn, but the way he moved caused him to spin out of control. He spiraled to the ground, only to have his movement arrested somehow. He felt a strange tingling all over his body, and noticed the glow of Twilight Sparkle's magic over him.

“I'll ask my friend Fluttershy to teach you more about how to fly.”

Evan and Jason walked down the streets of Ponyville. Evan marveled at the buildings, the timber construction and thatched roofs looking like something from English history. Here and there, odd-shaped buildings stood out.

Evan's stomach rumbled. “Hungry much?” Jason quipped.

“Of course I'm hungry. I listened to you, and didn't have my normal breakfast.”

“It's a good thing. When you go through the portal, the contents of your stomach go with you. And while ponies are biologically capable of digesting meat, it tends to create some, ah, digestive issues.”

“It's good they can digest meat, because I could eat a horse.”

“Better not say that. Horses are sapient, too.”

Evan shook his head. A part of him still wanted to believe this was all a dream.

“Okay, here it is,” Jason said. They had arrived at a restaurant with a small outdoor seating area. An olive-colored unicorn waved a green hoof. Jason led them to that table.

Evan looked at the new unicorn. “John Lockhart, I presume?”

“Right. Nice to finally meet you, Evan.” John raised a hoof to him.

Evan raised his own hoof, thinking it was some form of greeting, but unsure how to do it. John bumped his hoof to his.

“So, fist bumps?” Evan said.

Jason nodded. “Or you can shake after touching hooves, but that's more for sealing agreements.”

The waiter, a unicorn, soon arrived with menus and a tray with glasses of water in his aura. He expertly controlled the many items as he set the table. “Today, I recommend the daffodil salad,” he said. “We also have fresh bread bowls for our tomato soup.”

“Thank you,” Jason said.

Evan stared at the closed menu in front of him. It looked like a normal menu at a fancy restaurant, with a hard cloth cover, but how a species with hooves was supposed to open it, he didn't know. He placed one hoof on the menu, and felt it grab it. Slowly, he lifted it, and the menu opened.

He was about to ask how that worked, but when he saw Jason and John, other questions came to mind. The two unicorns were using their cheating magic, with John holding both his menu and his water glass in his magical aura.

“How did you get so good with your magic after only one day?” Evan asked John.

John glanced at Jason, who nodded. “This isn't my first trip to Equestria,” John responded.

Evan looked at John. He had digested every scrap of information about the humans living in Equestria, who had all become minor celebrities. But never once did he see the name of his brother's college friend.

“We haven't talked about it, but it's not just the princesses who can open a portal to our world,” Jason explained. “There are a dozen powerful entities in this world, and perhaps two dozen unicorns, who could theoretically create a bridge between universes. We think few would have the inclination, and fewer still would have the knowledge of our world, but we can't rule it out. We're trying to avoid a situation where every missing person case on Earth with a cold trail is considered to be caused by Equestrian meddling.”

“So your past trip was caused by one of these entities?”

“Trips,” John said. “Let's just say that I had a chance to study magic as an involuntary exchange student.”

Evan shook his head in disbelief. He then saw the waiter approach, and remembered he hadn't looked at his menu.

“Get the daffodil salad,” Jason whispered.

Evan did as Jason suggested. His brother ordered the tomato soup, and John chose a roasted vegetable dish. The waiter nodded and departed. A minute later, he returned with a small vase of flowers and silverware.

Jason lifted a flower out of the base and bit off the bud. “Appetizer,” he said.

Evan shook his head again. He looked at the silverware. A fork, a knife, and a spoon, just like in a human restaurant. He tried grabbing one with his hoof, but it fell down. “What do I do with these?” he asked.

“You hold them in your pastern,” Jason said. He demonstrated with his own fork, putting it in the joint that Evan thought of as a wrist joint, but probably wasn't. It fell out in short order. “Unicorn silverware isn't meant to be held.”

Evan blinked, and then looked at the silverware. Like Jason suggested, his was different, with a thicker handle. He picked it up, and it fit snugly in his pastern.

“This is just one of the many items that it makes no sense ponies would invent,” John said. “So much parallels our world.”

“Don't think too hard about it; that's what we always say,” Jason said.

However the silverware was invented, it worked, as Evan found out when his salad arrived. The flowers and greens had no business tasting that good, he decided. After that, he tried the last of the flower appetizers. Again, it was delicious.

The humans turned ponies finished their meals, and added ice cream for dessert. Strangely, despite the light meal, he was sated.

“Now what are we going to do?” Evan asked.

“We're going to meet with the rest of the wedding party.”

Evan and John followed Jason as they headed to meet the other groomsmen. They walked across town. The mixed buildings at the center of town became all residences, and then started to grow thin. Once they reached the outskirts, Evan saw a gravel road stretch out before them. He blinked and checked that he wasn't seeing things. In town, all the streets were dirt; this was the first real road he saw.

“Why is this road stone, and the ones in town aren’t?” Evan asked.

“This is the road to Canterlot,” Jason explained. “It was built for traveling merchants pulling carts. I guess the ponies of Ponyville don't feel the need to pave their roads.”

“We're walking to Canterlot?” Evan asked. In the distance, he saw the city at the top of the mountain, which, from what he had read, he was pretty sure was Canterlot.

“No, we're meeting two of the ponies working on the road.”

As they walked, leaving Ponyville behind, Jason spoke. “This is actually the first road I worked on when I came here. Because I had the cutie mark, I got a job right away. Now, we're expanding the road.”

“Why?” John asked.

“It was a direction from the bureaus in Canterlot about two years ago. As for why, there's no reason to do this, unless one were planning to add asphalt and make this a hard-surface road,” Jason said. “My suspicion is Princess Celestia is looking ahead to ponies building automobiles. Seeing our world is sure to spur ponies to build their own vehicles.”

Evan frowned, but more because the stone road was uncomfortable to tread. The rocks kept poking at some soft part of his hooves. He then noticed Jason and John had been walking alongside the road, and joined them.

“If you're walking those kinds of roads, you want horseshoes,” Jason said.

They had been walking a long time. Evan didn't feel any exertion at all, even as miles passed. Finally, they noticed figures in the distance. They were working on the road, but without machinery, the normal sound of construction was missing.

As they got closer, they could more clearly see the work going on. It looked like the road was being widened, with the new shoulder slightly lower than the main roadway.

“Hey, guys,” Jason said as they neared.

“Stone Arch!” they chorused.

“Great, now we need to look busy,” one quipped.

Evan thought they looked busy enough. They were moving around huge quantities of gravel without machines. One of them was even using a stone roller to flatten the stones.

“Digger, Crusher, I wanted to introduce you to the rest of the wedding party,” Jason said. “My brother, Evan, and my friend, John, or Strange Brew.”

One of the ponies with a shovel in mouth stuck it in the earth and walked over. The one on the stone roller unhitched himself and joined them.

“Digger,” the first said.

“Rock Crusher,” the other said.

John introduced himself to the two ponies, and they bumped hooves; Evan saw they were both shod. Evan looked at the two ponies. They were both earth ponies, and they were huge. He had noted his pony form was more muscular than his brother's, just like their respective human forms; he had lifted weights all his life. But these ponies were naturally huge. They didn't have the look of a bodybuilder, but powerful muscles rippled under their coats.

“So you're the best stallion?” Digger asked Evan.

“Yeah. And his big brother. I'm Evan.” They bumped hooves, Evan feeling their strength even in that quick contact. “You guys lift?”

Rock Crusher shrugged. “No need.”

“There's a gym in town if you're interested,” Digger said. “Owned by a pegasus, too.”

“I brought Evan here to meet you guys,” Jason said. “And now John and I will be going over there for a while.”

“Huh?” Evan said as they walked away. But Digger put a foreleg around his neck and pulled him into a huddle with him and Rock Crusher.

“Hey, we're not going to step on your hooves, but we're going to help you with that most important of best stallion jobs.”

“The speech?” Evan wondered.

Rock Crusher smacked him lightly with his hoof. “The bachelor party!”

“Oh, yeah,” Evan said, rubbing his head. Rock Crusher's light tap still stung. “I didn't even know ponies did bachelor parties. So, uh, what are they like?”

“The usual. Alcohol and dancing mares,” Digger said.

“Yeah. I'd better leave that in your hands. Hooves?”

“Don't worry about a thing. We're even bringing in a special guest from Canterlot,” Digger said.

“You staying at the castle?” Rock Crusher asked.

“I guess,” Evan said.

“Okay. You don't need to worry about a thing. Just find a reason to get your brother and his friend outside the castle at 8:00 PM Thursday night. We'll do the rest.”

Evan nodded and bumped hooves with the two earth ponies. He then left them to their work, and rejoined the others.

“Everything good?” Jason said.

“I guess.”

Evan, Jason, and John spent the rest of the afternoon walking around Ponyville. The more he saw, the more Evan felt it to be normal. It was just some quaint rural town, just with no cars, and no people.

The town's clock tower chimed 6:00. “We've got dinner at the castle in half an hour,” Jason said. “We need to pick up Rose.”

Rose's home was a cottage near the edge of town, Jason explained as they changed direction. A floral fragrance caught Evan's nose as he walked, and he started salivating. He swallowed in embarrassment. Continuing on, the scent grew stronger. And once they reached the cottage, Evan could see why. Hundreds of rose bushes, each full of blooms, surrounded the cottage on three sides. A rose-colored earth pony mare with a green mane was tending to one of the bushes; she bore a trio of roses on her flank.

The mare saw the stallions approach, and rose with a smile on her face. She rushed up and hugged Jason, the dirt from her hooves and fetlocks rubbing onto his coat. He didn't seem to mind as they shared a hug and a nuzzle. Evan had seen that expression in many young couples, but few were that lovey-dovey. And again, he saw the difference in pony types; Rose was the same height as Jason, but with her muscles looked like she outweighed him by a significant margin.

Rose finally noticed that her fiancé wasn't alone. “You must be Evan,” she said to Evan. “It's a pleasure to meet you.”

Evan shook hooves, then quietly rubbed his hoof clean on the grass. “How did you know?”

“Well, I know John is a unicorn, so that must be him. You humans make such cute ponies!”

Evan groaned. “I don't want to be cute,” he grumbled. “Wait, how did you know he would be a unicorn?”

“I met him in the human world, and I learned about his past travels,” Rose explained.

“Did everyone know about this before me?” Evan grumbled.

“I'm ready when you are,” Rose said. “I just need to get my saddlebags.”

“Wait, don't we need to get dressed or something?” Evan asked.

“Oh, don't be silly. This isn't Canterlot,” Rose replied.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle is very casual for a princess. We won't have to worry about clothes until the ceremony,” Jason said.

“Okay,” Evan replied.

The dining hall in Princess Twilight Sparkle's castle was something to behold. The long table appeared to grow directly from the crystal floor, its colors changing from the castle's normal violet where the legs met the floor to a sky blue on its upper surface. Silver candelabra provided a warm glow of magical light. Fine china, crystal goblets, and silverware were arranged at each seating.

And on the table, looking as incongruous as anything he'd yet seen in this world, Evan saw what appeared to be paper fast food bags. His nose picked up the smell of fast food grease, too. “That can't possibly be....”

“It is,” Jason said. “Well, it's hayburgers and hay fries,” he added.

Twilight Sparkle entered the room. “Stone Arch said you weren't big into fancy food, and since you'll get plenty of it this week, I thought you'd appreciate a casual meal. There's a bathroom just outside that door if you want to freshen up.”

Everyone went to wash their hooves, and then settled in to eat dinner. Twilight Sparkle pulled the burgers and fries from the bags and stacked them at the center of the table. “There's plenty for everypony,” she said.

Evan agreed with that statement. There were enough burgers that everyone could have two, and there would still be leftovers. He reached for one, and unwrapped it. It looked like a hamburger, save for the patty of fried hay, which resembled hash browns. He took a bite.

Fried hay tasted far better than it had any right to taste.

Evan polished off the burger, and then switched to the fries. “I get not having hamburgers, but why aren't the fries made from potato?” he asked.

“Most ponies think of potatoes only as an ingredient for stew,” Twilight Sparkle replied.

“With more exposure to Earth, I'm hoping somepony will put proper French fries on the menu,” Jason said.

Evan shrugged. The hay fries tasted great, too.

He grabbed a second burger, but though he could normally polish off two burgers as a human, he only got halfway through his second before feeling too full. Jason and John stopped at one each, and Rose had no problem finishing her second burger.

And then Evan noticed all the burgers were gone. The math didn't add up, until he looked over at Twilight Sparkle. Judging by the pile of wrappers, the alicorn had consumed nine burgers, and had large ketchup stains around her lips.

“Are you going to finish that?” she said to Evan.

Evan decided he had lost his appetite, and pushed his burger away.

Normally, after dinner, Evan watched television or listened to music. The former didn't yet exist in Equestria. Recorded music did exist, he noticed, but it sure wasn't in the form of .mp3 files.

“You're acting like you've never seen a gramophone before,” Twilight Sparkle said as she fitted a record and adjusted the needle.

“I have, but only in pictures,” he replied. He took a closer look at it. The gramophone used an old-fashioned horn for amplification, and certainly had no electric plug. There was a key that looked like it could be used to wind it, but when the alicorn blasted it with her magic, it started playing. The warm sound of a string quartet filled the parlor. Despite the ancient technology, the sound was surprisingly clear. “Can it work without magic?”

“You can wind it with the key, which pushes magic into the crystals, but it's far quicker to charge it directly,” she explained.

“Can it play an album from Earth?” Evan asked.

“Yes, sort of. Their records are somewhat different, but any form of physical recorded music turns into an Equestrian vinyl record by the same portal translation magic that reshapes you into a pony,” Jason said. “We're still trying to figure out what the spell is capable of changing.”

“I helped Jason figure out a way to bring movies over,” John added. “Record them from television with a VCR, put the cassette into an old video camera, and it comes through as a film projector. It's totally bizarre.”

“And I finally got to see the movies of the Harry Potter books!” Twilight said gleefully, clapping her hooves together.

“And now you know why she asked me to come over early,” John said.

“So, could we go out and see a movie, or something?” Evan asked.

“That might be a little hard, since the nearest movie theater is in Canterlot,” Twilight Sparkle said. “Why don't we spend the evening talking? I'm sure you two have a lot to catch up on.”

Evan looked to his brother, who was sharing a couch with his fiancée. Rose was leaning on Jason's shoulder, or whatever the equine equivalent of a shoulder was. “Actually, we've talked a lot more ever since I learned he was living in Equestria. I still had a hard time believing it was all real.”

“Well, you'll have plenty of time to experience Ponyville for yourself. I spoke to Fluttershy, and she agreed to help you learn to control your flight; she'll be over early in the morning. Much later in the morning, we're going to go to Rarity's boutique and get you measured for your tuxedos. Other than that, there's nothing planned until the dinner on Friday,” Twilight Sparkle said.

“I don't know how much there is to experience. This isn't a very large town.”

“Well, there are monster attacks, strange visitors, and song and dance numbers,” Jason mentioned.

Evan just stared at his brother.

“Suddenly, sitting around and enjoying the town doesn't sound that bad, does it?” Jason said.

Chapter 3: The Tuxedo

The Best Man

By Alaborn

Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.

Chapter 3: The Tuxedo

Wednesday, June 24, 2020
Ponyville, Principality of Equestria

Evan Sedmak rose before dawn, as he naturally did, and stretched his new body. He felt the urge to get up and move. He did a double take when the sky outside the window went from dark to light in an instant, providing evidence for the whole “Princess Celestia raises and lowers the sun” claim that had always struck him as unbelievable.

Now that it was light out, Evan could examine his room in greater detail. Perhaps the most unusual thing about the bedroom he had in Twilight Sparkle’s castle was that it lacked a closet. Perhaps they weren’t considered necessary, since most ponies didn’t have clothes to store. But other than that, it could have been any bedroom. The bed, nightstand, and desk all looked like their human equivalents.

The bathroom was another matter entirely. He already knew to expect the squat toilet, but the bidet was a surprise, as was the fact they were all controlled by foot pedals. Similarly, the sink turned on when he placed his hoof on the pedal at its base. And today, he got to see how the bathtub and shower worked.

Strangely, the large bathtub closely resembled a human one, though it looked old-fashioned. It was free-standing, supported by what looked like little paws. Why a species with hooves would create a clawfoot tub was just another of those mysteries, the ones that experts had attributed to their being some form of magical connection between the two worlds.

How a pony bathed himself was another mystery to Evan, but the long-handled scrub brush resting on a towel that had been set out for him gave him a good guess. He figured out the shower, which was controlled by handles dangling from chains, and got in. As the pleasantly warm water poured over his body, he mused about what ponies called handles, given they were manipulated by mouth, not hand. There were three kinds of shampoo, one for coat, one for mane and tail, and one for wings. The combination of the brush and his freakishly flexible body allowed him to easily clean his whole body, save for his mane, which he awkwardly scrubbed with his hooves.

Evan discovered how hard it was to get soap out of wings when he rinsed off. Fortunately, the castle seemed to have a limitless supply of hot water. Once he finally felt clean, he turned off the water, and then realized he had no idea how he was going to dry off. He stood in the tub, water dripping from his body. Jumping up and down didn’t help much. Shaking his body did help, but he kept thinking he looked like a wet dog.

The towel Evan was provided was big and thick, but putting it on his back didn’t do much to dry him. He finally gave up, put the towel on the floor, and rolled around on it.

At least there was no one there to see him like this.

Evan looked at his reflection in the mirror. Seeing a pony staring back was still unsettling. And his hair was a mess. There were two brushes set out for him, one resembling a normal hairbrush, and another with a broader surface and short, stiff bristles, probably for his coat. His coat looked fine, so he took the hairbrush. The sensation of his hoof gripping the handle, the feel of this seemingly solid appendage curling, was particularly strange.

By the third time he dropped the hairbrush, Evan concluded that hooves were not made for gripping. His hold wasn’t even strong enough to pull the brush through any decent tangle. Still, he persisted, and made himself somewhat presentable.

As a man who preferred short showers, Evan was feeling grumpy by how long it took him to clean his new body. That feeling was reinforced by seeing everyone else already at the kitchen table, looking all neat and clean. Of course, they all had horns.

“You’re just in time!” a new voice said. The rather incongruous sight was a small dragon, wearing an apron and carrying a plate stacked with pancakes.

“Thank you, Spike,” Twilight Sparkle said. She levitated an equal number of pancakes onto each pony’s plate.

“Are these hay too?” Evan asked.

“No. That would be a silly way to use hay. It would get all soggy!” Twilight Sparkle said.

“They’re normal pancakes. Many ponies prefer oatcakes, but both are commonly served,” Jason explained.

Evan was happy to see that ponies served their pancakes with maple syrup. He added some, and then cut into his stack of pancakes.

They were delicious.

The little dragon remained busy, cooking more pancakes, while the ponies ate. Engaged in normal breakfast conversation, Evan almost didn’t notice another voice speak quietly.

“Hello? Is anypony there?”

Twilight Sparkle looked up. “Come on in, Fluttershy.”

“You’re just in time for breakfast!” Spike said, waving his pan of pancakes.

“No thanks. I just ate.”

The new pony was a pegasus mare with a pastel yellow coat and bright pink mane, worn long enough that she could hide behind it. And that she did as she looked around the room. She focused on Evan. “Are you Evan?” she asked.

“Yes, I am,” Evan replied, nodding.

“I’m... Fluttershy. Twilight asked me to help you with your flying.”

“Great!” Evan said. He flared his wings, accidentally knocking his fork off the table. “As you can see, I’m having trouble controlling these.”

“That’s okay. A little education and a lot of practice, and you’ll be soaring through the sky. We can start right after breakfast.”

“Well, I did want to go to the gym first,” Evan said. “Would that be alright?”

“If you want...” Fluttershy started.

“You should do the flying lessons first,” Jason said. “Then see if you’re still up for the gym.”

“You don’t know how your body is going to react to using those new muscles,” Twilight Sparkle added.

Evan looked at the gentle pegasus. “How hard could it be?”

Later that morning, Evan trudged back to the castle. His hooves dragged, and his wings hung limply at his side. He found the others waiting for him in the parlor.

“Didn’t make it to the gym, did you?” Jason said.

“I don’t know how she makes it look so easy,” Evan muttered.

“What did you do?” John asked.

“She went through a bunch of drills, showing me how to position my wings, and more importantly, how to read the air. Then she made me do hundreds of wing-ups.” He looked back at his wings. “I still don’t know how wings can bend like that.”

“Sounds like a workout,” Jason said.

“Then she made me practice altitude control, by having me fill her bird feeders.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” John said.

“She has a lot of bird feeders. Like, hundreds.”

“We can take it easy today,” Twilight Sparkle said. “Right now, we need to get you to Rarity for your tuxedo fitting.”

Evan joined Jason, John, and Twilight Sparkle, and together they left the castle. They walked, since there were no vehicles or even paved roads. But Ponyville wasn’t a large town, so it didn’t take long to reach their destination.

“Carousel Boutique?” Evan said. He stared at the round building, decorated with what looked like carousel horses. “That doesn’t even make sense!”

“Why not?” Twilight Sparkle asked.

“Why would ponies have carousels?”

“I don’t get it,” she replied.

“I’ve wondered the same thing,” Jason said.

They stared at each other, apparently not understanding. John finally spoke. “Twilight Sparkle, what do you think carousel means?”

“It’s a stylized dance, prancing in circles around a decorated pole. Do you not have that in your world?”

“We have carousels, but it’s something rather different,” John said. “Picture human children riding a fake pony that looks a lot like that, which mechanically moves up and down and goes around in a circle.”

“That’s rather bizarre,” she said.

“Uh, can we go ahead and get the fitting over with?” Evan said.

They entered, where they found Rarity busy at work with a dress while humming a merry tune. She looked up as they entered. “Welcome to Carousel Boutique! Twilight, a pleasure as always. And is this our newest wedding guest?”

“Yes, Rarity. This is Stone Arch’s brother Evan.”

“Welcome, dear.” She appraised him carefully. “And such a fine pony you make! Although I’m surprised to see you a pegasus.”

“I’m surprised as well,” Evan replied. “Can we get to the fitting?”

“As you wish, dearie. Now, on to the pedestal!”

Evan hopped onto the pedestal, bringing to his mind the image of a lion in a circus. Rarity hmmed and ahhed as she stretched a tape measure over his body.

“Now, extend your wings.”

Evan lifted his wings, feeling the ache in his flight muscles. He felt the tape measure on his body a few more times before Rarity spoke. “All done. If you would, please, come back after lunch, and we’ll make adjustments.”

“It’ll be ready that fast?” Evan asked.

“Of course. Fashion should not be delayed.”

“Relax. Rarity has quite the gift for fashion,” Twilight Sparkle said.

“Okay. Thanks,” Evan said to Rarity.

“I believe I heard mention of lunch. That sounds like a good idea,” John said.

“I was just thinking of a place. A little something familiar,” Jason said.

Like everything in Ponyville, the restaurant was within an easy walk. The exterior of the building looked like the others in town, but once inside, it was immediately familiar to Evan. The decorations, the aroma, the food, all were straight from home.

“An Italian restaurant?” Evan said.

“It’s Bitalian here,” Jason responded. “Just one of the many puns we humans have to endure.”

Evan just shook his head.

The menu, of course, lacked any meat, but all the dishes could have been found in an Earth restaurant. The breadsticks before the meal, the waiter offering freshly grated Parmesan cheese for their pasta, even the unicorn chef with a thin mustache and an Italian accent reminded Evan of any Italian restaurant. Or, rather, a cartoon version of one.

Which it sort of was, given the cartoon.

Evan twirled some more spaghetti on his fork. “I know how spaghetti is traditionally made,” he said. “That raises the question, how did a race with hooves come up with it?”

“Noodles were first made by the griffons, as a way to use the type of wheat that grew best in their soil,” Twilight Sparkle explained. “Once it was known how to be made, anypony could make it, though much more easily with magic.”

“Right. Griffons,” Evan said, shaking his head again.

“I know what will improve your mood,” Jason said. “Dessert!”

The tiramisu was delicious.

With a full stomach, Evan and the others returned to Carousel Boutique. Sure enough, there was a tuxedo coat waiting on one of the mannequins (ponyquins?), complete with wing holes on its back.

“Welcome back, Evan! I can’t wait to see how you look in a tuxedo,” Rarity said. Her horn glowed, and she lifted a white shirt in her aura. “All right, up on the platform. Shirt first.”

Evan stood on the platform, looked at the shirt, and then looked at his forelegs and the big hooves at their ends.

“Right. You’ve never had to dress as a pony. Start by lifting your left forehoof.”

Evan did so, and Rarity put his leg through the sleeve. She then draped the shirt over his back and had him lift his other leg. Evan had to bend it back to get it through the sleeve. All in all, it wasn’t that different from putting on a shirt as a human.

“Now work your wings through the slits,” she continued.

Then again, some things were different.

He had a hard time getting his wings to fit. He was distracted by the unpleasant sensation of his wings being covered, and at the same time he didn’t have the fine control over his wings that Rarity seemed to expect from a pegasus customer. But with some work, he finally got them out.

Rarity then used her magic to button his shirt. “Stone Arch explained that humans preferred to dress alone, but that is not a good option as a pony, especially one who is not a unicorn,” she said. “I would suggest having all of you in the wedding party help each other.”

“Okay,” Evan said. Then he saw what she picked up next. “A bow tie? Seriously, what is with these items that can’t be manipulated with hooves?”

“It is tradition, dear,” Rarity said. Her horn glowed, and the tie started tying itself around Evan’s neck.

“A tradition that descends from the old unicorn nobility,” Twilight Sparkle elaborated. “Almost certainly, this article of clothing was designed to demonstrate the capabilities unique to unicorn magic, to set themselves on a higher level than other ponies. Thankfully, that attitude is all but gone now.”

“That said, it is certainly possible to tie a bow tie without magic. It is merely difficult,” Rarity said.

“Humans have fingers, and most can’t tie a bow tie, either,” John said.

“I don’t know. Can’t you use, like, clip-ons?” Evan said.

Rarity stared at Evan. Her gaze appeared angry, and he saw a twitch in one eyebrow. She turned away. “I will pretend I didn’t hear that,” she said tersely.

“She takes her fashion very seriously,” Jason whispered to his brother.

Rarity came back with the tuxedo coat. “Now, let’s see where adjustments need to be made.” She helped Evan into the coat; he found it easier to get his wings through the slit this time. She walked around Evan, hmming and ahhing once more, and occasionally marking on the coat with a piece of chalk.

“All right, Evan, we’re finished. I will have your tuxedo ready tomorrow morning,” Rarity said.

“Wait. What about the pants?” Evan asked.

“Pants? Only work clothes include pants,” Rarity huffed. “Why, the whole concept of fancy pants... well, I have a good friend with that name, and it speaks to his willingness to challenge tradition. But Rose and Stone Arch are having a traditional wedding.”

“Come on, bro! This will let you flaunt your cutie mark. You know you want to,” Jason said.

“I hate that term,” Evan muttered.

“Let’s leave Rarity to her work,” Twilight Sparkle suggested.

Evan nodded in agreement, and the group left Carousel Boutique.

The next thing on the schedule surprised Evan: nothing. They would meet at the castle for dinner, but there was nothing planned for the rest of the day. “You should take the time to appreciate Ponyville,” Twilight Sparkle had said. And with that, Evan was basically told to go outside and play.

He was still feeling a little sore from his morning flight practice, but Evan decided to go for a walk. Along the outskirts of town, there were plenty of grassy fields, which felt comfortable under his hooves.

After walking a bit, he wondered how his body ran. He was vaguely aware that horses had various gaits, and guessed ponies had something similar. Trying to move his four legs in different ways mostly resulted in him stumbling, but then he remembered his brother’s advice to not think too hard about it. After walking at a decent speed, he thought about running, and soon, he was doing just that.

Evan was no fan of simple jogging, and never ran sprints, but his temporary body seemed made for running, at any speed. The wind rushed past him, blowing through his mane, tickling the feathers in his wings. He ran at a sprint, and didn’t tire for a long time. Finally, he slowed to a trot, catching his breath.

He gave a start as another pony landed beside him, a pegasus mare. “You must be one of the humans in the wedding party,” she said.

“I am, but how did you know?” Evan asked.

“I’ve seen you with the princess and Stone Arch. Plus, you were surprised to see me land next to you, so you’re obviously not normally a pegasus,” she replied. “I’m April Showers, Rose’s mare of honor.”

“Evan Sedmak, Jason’s brother and best man. Best stallion?”

“You’re the best stallion? Ooh, I get to dance with you!”

“I’m a terrible dancer, and that’s when I have two legs,” Evan admitted.

“That’s okay. The day’s about Rose and Stony, not us,” April Showers said. “Are you enjoying your visit?”

“It still doesn’t feel real,” Evan said.

“A tour around town will help!” she offered.

“I’ve seen the town,” Evan replied.

“Have you seen it as a pegasus?”

“No?”

“Then follow me!” April Showers took to the air.

Evan, caught by surprise, stumbled as he ran after her, flapping his wings as Fluttershy taught him. He dipped and rose as he fought to regulate his altitude. Eventually, he stabilized, and then caught up to April Showers, who he noticed had slowed her pace. “Sorry, I don’t have much flying experience,” he said.

“You’re doing a pretty good job for somepony who hasn’t flown before,” she replied.

The two pegasi flew in wide loops as they gained altitude. Evan could now see the bird’s-eye view of Ponyville. The first thing he noticed was the structure of the town, built in concentric circles around a tall building. Roads meandered around the buildings, twisting and turning. The grid of roads and structure of city blocks he had grown up with was completely absent. All in all, the town was picture perfect, save for one glaring eyesore, the place where he had been staying, the giant purple castle of Princess Twilight Sparkle.

“Over there is the Whitetail Woods, which is beautiful, especially in fall. And that’s the Everfree Forest, where you don’t want to go,” April Showers narrated.

Evan agreed with his flying companion. The Whitetail Woods was a perfect little wilderness, but the Everfree Forest had something off about its appearance. Even the wisps of gray clouds above the canopy looked sinister.

“And that’s the Canterhorn, and you can see Canterlot at its top. The city just glows in the afternoon sun,” April Showers continued.

Evan looked up and saw Canterlot, looking for all the world like a giant fairy tale castle. He was amazed at the level of detail he could see. His normal vision was decent—not 20/20, but good enough that he didn’t need to wear glasses to drive—but there was no way he should be able to spot flapping pennants from miles away.

April Showers motioned with a wing, and Evan followed her. She slowed and circled a stray cloud floating over town, and then landed on it.

It was one thing to read that pegasi in Equestria were able to walk on clouds as if they were solid, and another to see it at work. And it was quite another thing entirely to expect him to try it, as April Showers was doing, as she motioned to a spot next to her.

Very cautiously, Evan lowered himself onto the cloud. His hooves touched the cloudstuff, and just when he thought he was going to keep moving through it, he felt it push back. He stopped flying, and the cloud supported his weight. It felt a little like walking on a trampoline.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” April Showers said.

“It’s nice, but I still don’t understand how my brother can give up on the world he knew,” Evan said.

“I understand. He’s doing it for Rose,” she replied. “My father did the same, leaving his home in Cloudsdale to be with my mother.”

“How do you know Rose?” Evan asked.

“We met because of my work on the weather team,” she said. “I work with Rose to make sure her roses only get gentle rain, even during the fiercest thunderstorms.”

“Right. Weather control.” Evan shook his head.

“I just love coming out and relaxing on a cloud after my shift’s done,” April Showers said. “See the town, watch the ponies.”

“I don’t have much of a chance to just relax,” Evan said.

“That’s too bad. From what I’ve heard of your world, everypony sounds so busy!”

“Don’t I know it. I’m afraid of the mess I’ll be coming back to at my health club,” Evan said. “But for now, I’m forced to just relax, since there’s nothing I can do about it from here.”

“Relax. That’s a good plan, Evan,” April Showers said. “Like I said, this Saturday is about Rose and Stony. The rest of us should just focus on having fun.” She rose to her hooves, stretching and cracking her back much like a cat, and then turned and smiled at Evan. “See you around, best stallion!”

April Showers extended her wings and readied to jump off the cloud. Just before she did that, she flicked her tail, its tip brushing Evan’s muzzle.

As Evan watched the mare fly off, he thought that even though he knew nothing about pony body language, he was pretty sure she was flirting with him.

“Yeah, she was totally flirting with you,” Jason told Evan over dinner. “You going to go for it? She’s single, and loves to party.”

Evan shook his head. “I just can’t see past the pony shape.”

“That’s a common feeling among the humans living here,” Twilight Sparkle said. “It took many of them months, even years to get past the form and see the person inside. Not everypony was as accepting as Stone Arch,”

“Yeah. Didn’t you say you found a pony girlfriend immediately after you first came here?” Evan said to Jason.

“Well, sort of. She turned out to be a changeling,” Jason replied. “I put that debacle behind me, and then I met Rose a few weeks later. I put our parents’ lesson to heart, looking beyond the surface to the person inside.”

“I do wonder how they’ll take all of this,” Evan said.

“It might not really hit them until they’re standing on their own hooves,” John said.

“The fact that they didn’t want to come here any earlier makes me wonder if this is stretching the limit of their tolerance,” Jason said.

“Don’t worry about it,” Twilight Sparkle said. “We’ll all make sure their stay is as pleasant as possible.”

Following dinner, the group split up. Spike convinced Jason and John to join him in a game of Ogres and Oubliettes, which sounded a lot like Dungeons & Dragons. That was never Evan’s thing, so he looked for something else to do. With no television or Internet, he instead turned to books. He took Twilight Sparkle’s suggestion, and picked up several volumes in a popular book series.

The books starred a pegasus named Daring Do, and the covers of the books and the titles brought to mind the Indiana Jones movies. Evan immediately thought how much easier the challenges in the movies would be for someone who could fly. The author apparently thought the same thing, since in the introduction, Daring Do was described as having an injured wing.

Out of curiosity, he peeked at the next book, and saw yet another contrived situation to prevent Daring Do from flying.

Still, the book captured Evan’s interest, and when he finished it off, he noticed it was quite late. The soreness in his body had passed, and after that lazy evening, one thing was clear.

He was definitely going to the gym tomorrow.

Chapter 4: The Bachelor Party

The Best Man

By Alaborn

Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.

Chapter 4: The Bachelor Party

Thursday, June 25, 2020
Ponyville, Principality of Equestria

Evan awoke just before first light, and again witnessed Equestria’s abrupt transition between night and day. He also noticed that his pegasus body was feeling more and more natural to him.

The castle was quiet as he walked out the door. Outside, the town was surprisingly active, with pegasi clearing the skies of clouds and earth ponies pulling wagons full of produce.

Evan took to the sky. He recalled seeing the gym on his earlier tour of the town, and thought he remembered what it looked like from the sky, but it took a few false starts before he found it.

Walking inside, he found a gym both familiar and unfamiliar. The equipment was similar, but with less variety, and all distinctly no-frills. It was far quieter, with no television for background noise, and all of the machinery being nonelectric. The floor was filled with stallions, about evenly split between pegasi and earth ponies. All had rather impressive physiques.

Great, a musclehead gym, he thought.

He was approached by the most extreme example of a musclehead, a white-coated, blond-maned stallion whose appearance screamed “years of steroid abuse”. He first thought he was an earth pony, but then Evan spotted a pair of unusually small wings.

Guess steroids shrink something else in this world, Evan thought.

“I’m Bulk Biceps. Welcome to my gym,” the pegasus said. “You new to town?”

“Just visiting,” Evan replied.

“You lift? Run?”

“I’m mostly looking to use the weights. It’s been a couple of days since I’ve had the chance, and I’ve been feeling antsy.”

“All right. I’ll spot you, bro.”

Evan looked to the bench, where a barbell was set with a number of weights. It looked like what he could lift, but that was before considering his new body. Ready to give it a try, he lay back on the bench, but the stallion held the bar down with a hoof.

“Whoa, whoa! Wait, are you one of those humans?” Bulk Biceps said.

“Yes, but how did you know?” Evan said.

“You didn’t put on your grips,” he explained.

Looking at another weightlifter, Evan noticed something on his front hooves. He looked at his own bare hooves.

“Let’s see, you’re not shod, so these should work,” Bulk Biceps said. He picked up something, giving it to Evan. They looked like thick rubber slippers, hoof-shaped, with a concave indentation. “Put these on, and I’ll show you how to lift safely.”

Evan squished his hoof into the rubber slippers, tightening them with his teeth. Bulk Biceps then had him lay down, and positioned his forelegs under the barbell. Evan’s hooves were at an angle, not much different from the way he would position his hands, and the bar fit into the indentations of the grips. He instinctively tried to grip the bar; his hooves did bend slightly, exactly in alignment with the grip.

Bulk Biceps spotted Evan as he lifted. Once the issue with using his hooves was resolved, lifting was just like back home. His forelegs had the same mobility as his arms. The barbell had just enough weight to challenge his muscles, and Evan felt the burn.

After several reps, Evan went to another machine, with weights on pulleys, to exercise his hind legs. Again, it felt like working out his leg muscles back home.

“Ready to work your wings next?” Bulk Biceps said.

“I’ll pass. Not much sense in working out a body part I won’t have three days from now.”

After finishing his workout, Evan headed back to the castle, looking forward to hitting the shower. He hadn’t thought to bring his brushes to the gym, and besides, the bathroom at the castle was much nicer. But before he got there, two familiar stallions came up to him.

“You ready for tonight?” Rock Crusher said.

“Yeah, but I’m not sure how to get the others out of the castle,” he replied.

“Say something came up about the wedding or something,” Digger suggested.

Evan shrugged. “I’ll think of something. So you’re not working?”

“Off today and tomorrow, in preparation for the wedding,” Rock Crusher said. “We’re going to the farrier now. Want to come?”

“The what?”

“He’s never been to the farrier!” Digger said to Rock Crusher. He turned to Evan. “That’s it, you’re coming.”

Evan was dragged by the two ponies to a stone building, with a large chimney belching smoke. Even before they stepped inside, he could feel the heat coming from within the building.

“So, a blacksmith?” Evan said.

“Not quite,” Rock Crusher said.

To Evan’s eyes, the building looked like a smithy, resembling the one he saw in the living history museum he visited when he was younger. There was definitely a forge here, and all sorts of metal tools on the wall. One pony worked here, a light blue earth pony mare. Her cutie mark was a pair of linked horseshoes. She was poking at the fire in the forge.

“Morning, Shoeshine,” Rock Crusher said.

Shoeshine turned and smiled. “Morning, gentlecolts. Ready to get your shoes pulled?” She looked at Evan. “I didn’t know you were bringing a third.”

“Nah, that’s Evan. He’s one of those humans, and he’s never been to the farrier,” Digger said.

“From what Princess Twilight Sparkle said, there’s probably nothing you need from me,” Shoeshine said to Evan. She turned to Rock Crusher. “You first?”

“Might as well,” he replied.

Rock Crusher stepped up and twisted his foreleg, putting it into some wooden construct. It resulted in him standing with that hoof raised, its bottom surface exposed, revealing a thick horseshoe of dark iron.

Suddenly, Evan remembered what a farrier was.

Shoeshine took a tool in mouth and started to dig into Rock Crusher’s hoof. She worked until the head of a nail was exposed. Another tool served to pry the nail from the hoof.

Evan winced as he watched the mare work. He thought back to the time he got a splinter in his big toe. That was the worst feeling; relative to the actual damage caused, it hurt far more than it should. And yet these ponies had nails driven into their hooves, and could talk casually about the day’s events while they were being pulled.

Shoeshine continued to work until all the nails were pulled. She pulled off the shoe, and stored it and the nails in a small wooden box.

“Do you want your hooves trimmed now, or when you get the shoes replaced?”

“Let’s do it now. I want smooth hooves for tonight,” Rock Crusher said.

At first, the trimming didn’t look bad. Shoeshine was using some tools, a pick and a stiff brush, on the soft underside of the hoof. But then, she pulled out something larger. Evan could actually see slivers of hoof falling to the ground as Shoeshine filed Rock Crusher’s hoof.

“You know, I don’t think I can take any more of this,” Evan said.

Digger chuckled. “Suit yourself. But you better be ready to stallion up tonight.

Evan had the day mostly to himself. The only wedding-related activity concerned getting some of the decorations ready. Ponies from the community brought in ribbons and bouquets that would be used to decorate the park.

“This is common in Equestrian weddings. It symbolizes the strength of the community, and calls back to ancient herd life,” Twilight Sparkle explained.

Following dinner, Evan went out for a brief flight. Being able to fly under his own power was growing on him, and he wanted to take advantage of this ability while he could. But at that moment, he needed to get out of the castle, in order for his plan to work.

Evan returned just before 8:00, and fortunately found Jason and John by themselves. “Hey,” Jason said.

“Glad I found you,” Evan said. “I just ran into Rarity, and she said she had some inspiration for the tuxedos that simply could not wait. Can you come?”

“Sure,” John said, with Jason nodding.

Evan led the others out of the castle right on time. They had only just started walking when Digger and Rock Crusher approached.

“Hey, are you coming to Rarity’s too?” Jason said.

The two earth ponies just smiled as they walked alongside Jason, using their size to box him in. “No, we’re going somewhere else.” They turned and started walking in a different direction.

John looked to Evan. “You know what’s going on, don’t you?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” he replied.

“I haven’t attended a wedding since I was a child,” John said.

“And you wouldn’t have seen this as a child.”

“What? Oh. Ohhhh,” John said.

The group walked to a part of town Evan hadn’t seen, somewhere near the train station. Their destination was a nondescript building, identified only by a sign with a picture, showing some mixed fruits. But once they opened the door, Evan recognized the place.

He never imagined that these cute ponies would have bars.

Granted, everything he had read said these ponies had a society much like humans, eerily so in most cases. But still, a bar?

The bar was more of a dive bar, its design a lot more familiar to Evan than the kind of buildings he had seen, with architecture that tended toward the cute or the whimsical. It had simple wood paneling on the walls, a dart board, a pool table, and an actual bar with actual bar stools, on which ponies could somehow sit comfortably. A plum earth pony mare with a shaggy mane was behind the bar; Evan noticed her cutie mark matched the sign outside.

“Hey there, Digger, Crusher,” she said with a wave. “Party’s set up in the back room.”

Jason looked resigned to his fate, John looked nervous, and Digger and Rock Crusher looked eager. Evan found himself more curious than anything else. What would a bachelor party be like for ponies? Would there be strippers? No, of course not. But for ponies, who didn’t wear clothes, what would replace the strippers?

The first thing Evan noticed once they entered the back room was the pole. Clearly, there was some analog to the exotic dancers he’d seen at past bachelor parties. The pole was at the center of a T-shaped stage. Chairs and tables surrounded the runway portion of the stage.

There were perhaps a dozen ponies already present in the crowd, all stallions. A unicorn stallion wearing a collar was mixing drinks in the corner, and several mares worked the crowd. Evan didn’t know much about ponies, but even he could tell these mares were attractive.

The ponies went to an empty table, with Digger lagging behind. The large stallion soon joined them, a tray with bottles of beer balanced on his back. Evan looked at the bottle, looked at his hoof, and shook his head. But after watching Rock Crusher grab a bottle, he tried it himself. His hoof did bend enough to grip the bottle.

And the beer was quite good, a wheat beer with distinct citrus notes and a good hoppiness.

One of the mares, a pegasus, then went on stage. The stallions in the crowd cheered and stomped their hooves in the pony equivalent of applause. The lights were lowered, and a spotlight shined on the mare.

The mare danced. She used the pole much like a human exotic dancer did, at various points highlighting her legs, her barrel, and her rump. She flicked her mane in an alluring manner, much like a woman with long hair, but the mare could also do the same with her tail. She also stretched her wings as she moved, movement Evan found alluring.

Then the mare picked up something in her mouth, something Evan hadn’t noticed her bring to the stage. She put it over one hoof, and then slowly, deliberately, pulled it up her leg.

The pony was stripping in reverse, putting on sheer stockings, and the crowd was loving it. Cheers, whistles, and catcalls came from the gathered ponies. Even Evan found it sexy.

He noticed his wings were up. Then he looked down. The fact that he found the display attractive was plainly evident there too, thanks to his unclothed form. He stole glances at the ponies sharing the table with him. All were similarly aroused. It didn’t seem to bother the native ponies at all.

The mare on stage, now wearing all four stockings, sashayed down the stage, stretching and flicking her tail. At the end of the stage, she stopped, smiling and fluttering her long eyelashes to the crowd. “It’s wonderful to see so many strapping stallions in the audience today,” she said. “But we’re all here to celebrate one stallion in particular, celebrating his last days as an eligible bachelor.” She looked right at Jason. “Time to get your reward, Stone Arch.” She stretched a foreleg to him.

By his reaction, Jason hadn’t attended an Equestrian bachelor party. But Digger and Rock Crusher had, and they eagerly pushed Jason onto the stage. The other mares all swarmed the stage. One had something ropelike in her mouth, and she put it on over Jason’s head. When she was done, Evan could see his little brother was now wearing a bit and bridle.

“Time for the stallion of honor to enjoy what he’s never going to get again.”

The mares danced around the stage, several more donning stockings, and one putting on a lacy saddle. They strutted down the catwalk, teasing Jason as they walked past with sultry looks and flicks of their tails.

After the group display, most of the mares went into the crowd. The one left on stage turned Jason around so that he could face the audience, and then went back to dancing.

One of the mares, a unicorn, came to Evan’s group. “Care for a dance, handsome?”

Rock Crusher was the first to respond. The mare pulled him to his hooves and gave him an intimate show. Then she picked up one of his hooves and ran it over her chest.

“Mmm, smooth,” she said sultrily.

Evan’s eyes widened. “We can touch?” he whispered Digger.

“Yeah, but only as the mares direct. Watch,” Digger said.

During the dance, Rock Crusher’s hooves ran over the mare’s body, and she even brought his muzzle in to caress her. It was quite the shocking display, but Evan could see that it wasn’t anything overtly sexual; it was more akin to heavy petting.

He chuckled. Petting. Every little girl wanted a pony to pet, but not quite like this.

The mare then danced with Digger; Evan and John both declined a dance of their own. But Rock Crusher wasn’t having any of it. He waved a hoof, and another mare came over, this one a pegasus.

The mare came right up to Evan. She flapped her wings slowly. “I know you want a dance,” she said.

Evan’s wings popped open.

The mare smiled, and used her wing to guide Evan’s wing to her body. His feathers traced over her curves, a sensation like the lightest touch of a fingertip. He never knew wings could be used like that.

The mare then took one of his hooves, and used it to stroke her chest. The coat there was fluffier than elsewhere. Again, Evan was surprised with what he could feel through his hoof.

The mare circled Evan, allowing him to touch her toned body, and then, she was done. She smiled and walked off to another table.

Evan just stood there until Digger slapped him hard on the withers. “I knew you’d like Misty.”

A short while later, the lights in the room dimmed. The conversation in the room quieted, with ponies murmuring. “Tonight, we have a special guest, all the way from Canterlot,” one of the mares announced. “Please stamp your hooves for Midnight!”

In the darkness, Evan could vaguely see a figure move. He then saw her open her eyes; her yellow-green eyes seemed to gather the light in the room. Then the room was lit again, and Evan could see the figure. At first, he thought the mare was a pegasus, but then he noticed some differences. In particular, she had bat-like wings, rather than feathered wings. Her ears had little tufts of fur, and he was pretty sure he saw fangs poking out of her mouth. She was already wearing stockings, striped purple and black.

Jason, who had been turned back around while the stage was in darkness, was in perfect position to see the newcomer. Were he a pegasus, his wings would have been sticking straight up.

A bass-heavy music track started playing, and Midnight danced, body moving perfectly in time with the music. She teased Jason with every movement. With the thumb claw at the tip of her wing, she traced graceful patterns across Jason’s coat. She ended her dance with a nibble on his ear; Jason shuddered.

Midnight then removed the bit and bridle from Jason. She turned, blew him a kiss, and left the stage.

The ponies in the audience cheered. Digger and Rock Crusher helped Jason off the stage. Evan had never seen his little brother look so flustered.

Midnight’s dance turned out to be the end of the evening’s entertainment. The lights were turned back on, and ponies started leaving. At their table, the ponies were finishing off their beers.

“So what did you think of our special guest?” Rock Crusher said to Jason.

“She was... wow,” he responded. “But how did you know?”

“When we went drinking after the road was finished, you let it slip you had a thing for batponies.” Rock Crusher said.

“And being your good friends, we never forgot,” Digger added.

With that, the wedding party stepped out of the bar. Everypony was walking a bit slower than normal, for obvious reasons; Evan was still having trouble folding his wings.

Jason turned to Evan and John. “You two go back to the castle. I’m going to see Rose.” Without waiting for a response, he trotted off.

“After all that, he’s only thinking of Rose,” Digger said.

“She is one lucky mare,” Rock Crusher added.

Digger placed a hoof on Evan’s withers. “You know, for those of us without special someponies, the bar’s still open,” he said.

Rock Crusher similarly grabbed John. “You in?”

Three hours and many rounds of drinks later, Evan and John finally made it back to the castle.

“Remind me never to drink with earth ponies again,” John muttered.

Evan staggered into the foyer. “Ugh. Tell me about it!”

Fortunately, the castle was quiet. There was no disapproving princess waiting up for them.

The two ponies separated, and Evan made his way back to his room. After a night of drinking like this, he’d often collapse on his bed, falling asleep in the clothes he had been wearing. His last thought before falling unconscious was that it was quite convenient that ponies didn’t wear clothes.

Chapter 5: The Dinner

The Best Man

By Alaborn

Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.

Chapter 5: The Dinner

Friday, June 26, 2020
Ponyville, Principality of Equestria

Evan awoke to a beam of sunlight directly in his face. He shut his eyes against the overpowering bright light. His head swam, and his mouth felt like cotton.

Apparently, even magical talking ponies suffered after drinking too much.

After a while, the pounding in his head lessened from jackhammer to heavy metal drummer. Evan slowly pulled himself out of bed and stumbled onto his hooves.

Evan wandered into the kitchen, hoping for a big breakfast to counteract last night’s overindulgence. He found Spike there, but unfortunately, there was no breakfast ready.

“Whoa. Dude. You look terrible,” Spike said.

“I’ve felt worse,” Evan replied. “I could use something to eat.”

“There’s coffee in the pot, extra strong, and I have a few muffins left over from yesterday. I didn’t make breakfast this morning, since we’re hosting a brunch for all of the guests later,” he explained. “Speaking of that, you better hurry. Your parents are arriving in less than an hour.”

Evan drank a mug of coffee as fast as he could, and then headed to the bathroom. A long shower helped clear the fog in his mind, and he managed to be ready with enough time to snag a blueberry muffin from the basket.

The others were present, too. John was looking about as bad as Evan, but his little brother was looking perfectly chipper.

“Glad you finally got up, sleepyhead,” Jason said.

“Yeah. Where are we going again?”

“Same room in the castle as before,” he replied. “The princess is already there.”

Arriving at that chamber, the humans saw Twilight Sparkle, watching a clock. The same DMV clerk unicorn was waiting as well. As the clock struck 10:00 AM, Twilight Sparkle concentrated. Her horn glowed with an intense violet light as she breached the barrier between universes. Through the purple miasma, Evan could see shapes that vaguely looked like they were from his brother’s apartment.

As he watched, he saw shapes in darker purple, shifting and reforming like some bizarre lava lamp. At times, he saw shapes that looked vaguely human. At other times, the shapes looked equine. Finally, the forms coalesced into two distinct equine shapes. The forms gained color, definition, and depth, all within a second. Then two ponies fell out of the portal, landing in a heap.

Evan and Jason helped their parents stand. Their father came through as a unicorn with a sky blue coat and dark blue and gold mane. His cutie mark was a grid that looked something like an Excel spreadsheet, appropriate for an accountant. Their mother was now an earth pony with an orange coat and red and green mane. Her cutie mark was a tomato vine; while she worked as a teacher’s assistant, her real passion was her garden.

“How are you feeling?” Jason asked.

“Like some weird dream. Everything feels wrong,” his father replied. He stood shakily on his new hooves.

“We’re here. We’re actually here,” his mother said.

The four family members embraced. Jason then turned to Twilight Sparkle. “Princess, these are my parents, Christopher and Janine.”

Twilight Sparkle greeted them with a big smile. “On behalf of the ponies and peoples of Equestria, I bid you welcome.”

The unicorn stallion seated behind them cleared his throat.

“Ah, yes. Let’s get your paperwork processed.”

Evan found it interesting watching his parents go through the same orientation he received three days earlier as the princess tested their bodies. His father even managed to make his magic spark, resulting in sending a wooden block clear across the room. He didn’t look thrilled to try it again.

“What are we doing first?” Janine asked.

“First things first, we have brunch,” Twilight Sparkle replied.

The first thing Evan detected was the noise, his ears swiveling as he detected the sound of voices. The dining hall where Evan had taken several of his meals was now crowded, with dozens of ponies he didn’t recognize. Most were earth ponies, and quite a few looked in awe at being in the castle. And when Princess Twilight Sparkle showed up, the reaction was surprise and shock. Most of the ponies hurried to lower themselves to the ground in a gesture Evan figured was like bowing.

“Please rise,” Twilight Sparkle announced. “I’m not holding court; I’m just sharing a meal with some new friends.”

Once the ponies rose, Twilight Sparkle continued into the room. Now, Evan could see that the dining hall was being set up like a buffet. Ponies manned individual food stations. There was an omelet station here, a display of pastries there, and waffles being made in the corner.

A light ringing sounded; Twilight Sparkle had attracted everyone’s attention in the traditional manner, tapping silverware on glass. The conversation in the room fell to a murmur.

“I’d like to welcome everypony, and everyone, to the Castle of Friendship. It always warms my heart to see so many ponies coming to celebrate a marriage, and I am honored that Stone Arch and Rose Trellis asked me to join them in marriage in a field of green under the light of the summer sun,” she said. “For now, let us share a meal. Some of Ponyville’s restaurants and bakeries are providing food for this meal, as well as for tonight’s dinner and tomorrow’s celebration. We will have more guests arriving through the day, so they will be serving food until late. So, everypony, let’s eat!”

“This looks a lot like that Mother’s Day brunch we went to last year,” Janine said.

“Where do we start?” Christopher wondered.

“There’s Broken Egg,” Jason said. “He makes great omelets.”

Jason led his family to the omelet station. The cook, an earth pony stallion with a broken egg cutie mark, was deftly making several omelets at a time. He’d seen human cooks making omelets plenty of times, but this pony was doing it using only his mouth. He also wondered how ponies handled plates; that was answered when the pony at the front of the line took the plate with her omelet in her mouth, and then balanced it on her back.

Once he got to the front of the line, Evan saw the omelet toppings, stored in little bins. Most were familiar, but there were grasses and flowers he didn’t recognize. He decided to stick with familiar ingredients. “Cheese, green pepper, and onion,” he ordered.

Once he got his plate, he balanced it on his back like the other ponies did, and walked slowly around the room to get a muffin and some fresh fruit. With that done, he joined his family at the table. Miraculously, no one had dropped their plate.

His parents stared at the silverware. “How do we use this?” Christopher asked.

Evan lifted his forelegs, which were holding his fork and knife like he’d been using this body all his life. He shook his head at how normal it now felt.

Janine took a bite of an orange segment. “This is really good!” she said.

“Everything tastes better here, as long as it’s fresh,” Jason said. “Winters suck, but once that first crop comes in, you’ll never want to eat human fruits and vegetables again.”

“Where’s Rose?” Evan asked.

“She’s been running back and forth to the train station all day, meeting her relatives. And she has lots of relatives,” Jason replied. “Earth pony families are often large.”

Janine leaned in. “I can’t wait to see my grandchildren!”

“Mom! We’re waiting until after the wedding to for foals,” Jason protested. “But if everything works out....”

Janine smiled. “I’d love to visit in nine months.”

“Actually, it’s eleven months for ponies,” Jason corrected her.

“Eleven months,” Christopher said, shaking his head. “Good luck, son.”

Evan and his family finished their brunch, and continued to talk for a while after. Dozens of ponies came and went during the time. There were extended families ranging from grandparents to infants still in diapers. Foals ran around the room, and toddlers clung to their mothers’ legs. He even noticed April Showers, in the company of several other mares. They all eyed him with a peculiar smile. April Showers noticed him looking, and flicked her mane flirtatiously.

Evan looked away, and turned back to his brother. “What’s on the calendar for today?”

“Lots of things, but I think the first is....”

Twilight Sparkle interrupted them by rising and speaking. “Again, I’d like to welcome everypony to Ponyville and the Castle of Friendship. We will be serving food for another two hours, but for those who are finished, we have a volunteer offering to teach everypony a few basic dance steps. This lesson is primarily for our visitors from Earth, but anypony is welcome to participate. We’ll start with the wedding party.”

“...that,” Jason finished.

Evan wasn’t that surprised to find the castle had a ballroom. He was surprised to find that it had a wooden floor, given every other room had a floor made from that strange purple crystal. The clopping sound of everyone’s hooffalls was strangely loud; for some reason, the crystal floor was quieter.

Evan was joined by his family and John; several ponies from the crowd at brunch joined them, including a cute pair of children, a colt and filly he guessed were around six years old.

The ballroom was devoid of decoration and empty, save for a table holding a phonograph. Two earth ponies were present, a mare and a colt somewhere around that awkward preteen age.

“Good afternoon,” the mare spoke; she had a vaguely Russian accent. “My name is Hoofer Steps, and this is my student, Tender Taps. We’re going to introduce you to the basics of Equestrian dance, both traditional and modern. For those of you who haven’t been to a wedding before, there are only a few traditional dances at the start of the celebration. Afterward, when the popular dance music starts, you can dance more freely. You won’t become an expert after this lesson, but we can have you dancing better than Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

That last comment earned chuckles from the crowd. Only Evan and his parents looked confused. “How can we dance better than a princess?” Janine whispered.

“Once you see the princess trying to dance, you’ll understand,” Jason responded.

“Traditional dance requires balancing on your hind hooves, and thus is always done with a partner. You must rely on the support of your partner to stay standing, and as such is considered the most intimate of dances,” Hoofer Steps said. “Tender Taps and I will demonstrate.”

Tender Taps put a record on the phonograph and returned to the dance floor. The two ponies lowered themselves in that bowing pose, their hooves close together. Then Tender Taps wrapped one foreleg around Hoofer Steps’s, the two linking at the wrist, or whatever the ponies called it. They rose on their hind hooves, leaning against each other for support, and placed their other forehoof on their partner’s waist.

“This looks like the way we dance,” Christopher said.

Evan nodded. He was more curious about the ability of ponies to stand on two legs. He reared, adopting a familiar bipedal stance, but he could only hold it for about thirty seconds. He noticed John trying to do the same.

“Forward, left, back,” Hoofer Steps called. “Then forward, right, back, all in time with the music. For mares, the steps are opposite, but the pattern is the same, one two three. The initial bow we demonstrated is traditional, but expected only in formal balls. For tomorrow, you can meet your partner while standing. Now, please find a partner and practice.”

Evan paired up with an earth pony mare and waited for Tender Taps to start the music. When he did, he clumsily grabbed for his partner’s leg. Fortunately, she compensated, and the two ponies rose in time. Evan still felt the urge to fall, but he was balanced against his dance partner, in a position reminding him of two cards balanced against each other in a house of cards. As Hoofer Steps called out the steps, Evan danced, taking the lead. Everything about the dance felt human. Even the music, a classical piece, sounded like human classical music.

“In a traditional wedding, the first dance begins with the mother of the groom and her son, and the father of the bride and his daughter. They dance for a minute, and then the parents bow out, allowing the bride and groom to share their first dance,” Hoofer Steps said. “Following that, family members share a few dances, and then the bride and groom dance separately with any interested guests, each for a short time. Following that, the deejay will set up for the rest of the night.”

“Popular dance is all about moving to the beat,” Tender Taps said.“You can step around the floor freely, dancing with anypony or nopony at all. I will demonstrate some common dance steps.”

This time, Hoofer Steps put the record on the phonograph, and what Evan heard was dance music heavy on the beat, “four on the floor” as they called it. Looking at Tender Taps dancing and his own pony body, it was literally four on the floor, four hooves that is to say. With lyrics and the obligatory rap verse added, the music could have been heard in any human dance club.

Tender Taps demonstrated several styles of dance to the group. “What’s most important is you dance in the way that makes you feel most comfortable,” he said. “Feel free to adapt to the steps of the pony you’re dancing with. The one thing to avoid is switching moves, especially within a song. Because if you do, then you look like....”

The native ponies all nodded.

“For our special visitors, you can expect physical contact during these dances. Bodies brushing, horns touching, wings connecting, these are all signs of interest, a pony who wants a closer dance. You can respond in kind, or simply pass.”

The dance practice lasted an hour, though Evan was tired out before it was done. He watched the crowd instead. His parents practiced most on the traditional steps; he guessed they weren’t much interested in dancing beyond the obligatory dances. John and Jason were gamely trying to learn the popular dance, but it was apparent neither had any sense of rhythm. The native ponies, on the other hand, were naturals at dancing. Evan found it particularly cute the way the one filly looked at Tender Taps as they danced together.

At the end of the lesson, Twilight Sparkle appeared, bringing another group of ponies. She directed them to Hoofer Steps, and then joined the humans. “How was the lesson?” she asked Jason.

“Tough. I’m beat,” he said.

“That’s perfect, because you have a date at the spa!”

Evan stared in disbelief at the Ponyville Day Spa. It looked, and smelled, exactly what he thought a day spa would be, down to the owners with exotic accents that couldn’t be traced to any language. But what really surprised him was how eager certain ponies were to visit the spa.

His parents had gone to Carousel Boutique to get their clothes fitted. That left Evan, John, and Jason to go to the spa, with Digger and Rock Crusher joining them. A gaggle of mares, including April Showers and the other mares in the wedding party, also went to the spa, entering before them as a separate group.

“Are these sex-segregated?” Evan asked.

“Not specifically, but stallions and mares like to be treated separately,” Jason replied.

“Lets us talk about stallion things,” Digger said.

“Like mares,” Rock Crusher added. “You see how that April Shower’s eyeing you?”

“I think she’s not the only one,” Evan said.

“Lucky stallion,” Rock Crusher mumbled.

“What are we doing here?” Evan asked.

“You can get whatever treatment you want,” a pink earth pony mare said as she entered the room. “The princess is paying for everything.”

“I guess we’re here to look good for the wedding?” Evan said.

“Then I recommend the sauna, the mineral bath, and then the specific treatments.

“We’re looking for a massage,” Digger said.

“Hey, that sounds good,” Evan said.

“Massages all around,” Jason said.

The ponies entered the spa, heading directly for the sauna. No clothes meant no locker rooms, and thus no locker rooms to clean. Evan definitely envied the mares in charge.

The spa’s sauna looked exactly like one back home, Evan thought. It had the hot rocks, the bucket of water to add steam to the room, and the wooden benches. The peculiar scent of hot wood was especially potent to his pony nose.

The native ponies staked out positions on the wooden benches, lying down with their legs tucked under their bodies. It looked more comfortable than sitting human style, so Evan imitated them.

“Now this is the life,” Rock Crusher said.

“I feel like I should be doing something else,” John said. “I miss my phone.”

“That was actually the hardest thing for me to get used to,” Jason said. “Not having all those distractions.”

“When there are other ponies around, there’s always something to be found,” Digger said.

“Sounds like one of those ‘magic of friendship’ lessons,” Evan commented.

Jason shrugged. “Guess it is.”

The ponies relaxed, mostly in silence. The stallions didn’t talk about much, especially after Digger and Rock Crusher failed to get Evan and John to gossip about mares in which they might have interest. As time passed, Evan felt the heat more and more acutely. He could sense the sweat accumulating on his coat, feel his mane get plastered to his head. His wings wanted to hang limply. Despite being in a room with sweating ponies, his new nose wasn’t bothered by the aroma.

Finally, they were interrupted by a knock at the door. “It is time for your mineral bath,” one of the spa mares said.

The group headed to another room, with a steaming bath with aromatic, slightly tinted water. But first, they were directed to another pool.

“Please refresh yourself in the cold pool,” the spa mare said.

The pool looked cold. By dipping his hoof in it, Evan confirmed the fact.

“Afraid of a little cold water?” Digger said to him.

“Of course not,” Evan replied.

Digger responded by shoving Evan into the pool.

“C-C-COLD!” Evan shouted.

Seeing Rock Crusher looking at them, Jason and John wisely decided to enter the pool of their own volition. Rock Crusher then dove in after them, splashing water all over the place.

“Stallions,” the spa mare sniffed.

The cold pool was refreshing, and after a dip, they went to the mineral bath. Evan noticed one other pool in the room. “Is that a mud bath?”

“It is,” the spa mare said. “Are you interested?”

“Ugh. No!” Evan said. He looked to Jason. “Why, exactly, are there mud baths? I thought mud baths were all about improving one’s complexion.”

“Honestly, I have no idea,” Jason admitted.

They spend about the same amount of time in the mineral bath as they did in the sauna, and finished with another dip in the cold pool. Then the stallions went to another room for the massages. Evan looked up at the extremely muscular mare waiting for them and gulped.

“Get on the table,” the mare ordered Evan.

Any nervousness Evan felt faded away the moment the mare’s hooves touched him. They worked into his body with just the right amount of pressure. All the lingering aches that came from learning how to fly simply melted away. He idly wondered why a species with hooves came up with a style of massage much like humans, but then he remembered the lesson from his little brother, and decided not to think too hard about it.

“Now, turn on your side,” another voice said.

Evan opened his eyes; he hadn’t noticed how close he was to falling asleep. One of the spa mares, the one with a blue coat this time, was speaking to him. He nodded and turned on his side.

The mare pulled up a padded armrest and rested his left foreleg in it. Then she took a heavy metal file in her mouth. Evan’s eyes widened in shock, and he tried to pull away, but he was trapped.

She looked over his hoof critically. “You have so little wear on your hooves,” she commented.

“That’s because I’ve only had them for three days,” Evan replied.

The mare raised an eyebrow, and then nodded in recognition. “You are one of those humans,” she said.

“You got it.”

“Then this will not take long.” She quickly attacked his snared hoof with the file. The rough surface ran over the underside of his hoof, and Evan felt his entire body shuddering in response. He pulled back, hard enough to free his hoof.

“You are a pegasus at heart,” the mare said. “You do not like your hooves being touched.”

“What’s the matter, bro? Chicken?” Jason said.

Evan leveled his gaze at Jason, and then returned his hoof to the armrest. “Let’s do this.”

He discovered that by focusing on the others in the room, he could forget just what was being done to his hooves. After each hoof was trimmed and polished, the mare asked him to stretch his wing. His wings popped open when he felt the mare’s mouth touch his wing.

“It’s called preening,” Jason told him. “Just let Lotus do her work, since I doubt you want to try doing it yourself.”

The mare, Lotus, looked bemused by Evan’s reaction. With some gentle guiding with her hoof, she got Evan’s wings under control, and she went back to work. Knowing what was going to happen this time, he avoided another embarrassing reaction.

Evan turned his head to see how preening worked. She manipulated his feathers, putting them into line. He felt a gentle tugging as she tested each feather; he instinctively knew each such feather was still good. Once one wing was finished, Evan compared the preened wing to his other wing. It certainly looked better, a solid streamlined mass of feathers.

Evan’s treatment finished first, allowing him to watch the others being tended to by the spa ponies. The two earth ponies didn’t need much work with the file, thanks to their earlier visit to the farrier, but they did get some treatment that buffed and polished their hooves, with something like shellac filling in chips and scratches on the surface of their hooves. John, having newer hooves, also didn’t need much work. But Jason endured a fairly lengthy process of filing, buffing, and polishing. After that, both he and John got their horns filed.

“Don’t you feel that?” Evan asked them.

“As long as you’re not channeling magic, it feels just like using a file on your fingernails,” Jason replied.

“I’ll take your word on it.”

Evan had to admit, the spa ponies worked wonders. Every step was more comfortable, and when he went for a flight later that afternoon, he could sense the air around him better. Everything felt right.

Throughout the afternoon, ponies arrived at the castle, and others he saw previously returned. It looked like several of the mares had gone to a salon, including his mother; the hairdresser had given her a slight wave and arranged her mane and tail into a form that looked stately. Every room on the first floor of the castle was filled with ponies conversing and enjoying light refreshments. They mingled, forming fast friendships. Many gawked in wonder at one room, where six throne-like chairs, and one smaller chair, surrounded a stone table which appeared to form a three-dimensional map.

After more exploring, he discovered one room was closed down, the dining hall and kitchen beyond. The evening’s dinner was being prepared, and with that would come Evan’s other duty as best man.

At six o’clock, the door to the dining hall opened. Inside was the same large table Evan had seen on his first day here, but instead of fast food, each place setting had the overabundance of plates, glasses, and silverware that marked a formal dinner. Jason and Rose entered first, taking the two seats at the head of the table. Each place setting held a name card; Evan was seated next to his brother, with the other groomsmen holding the next seats down the line. All in all, there looked to be about sixty guests in the room.

Digger bit the bud off the rose in the vase next to his place setting, reminding Evan that flowers were part of the meal, not just decorations.

Dinner was a formal affair. Not many of the guests wore anything, but the wait staff all wore collars and bow ties. It had been a while since Evan had been to a dinner like this, but it worked just like on Earth. Salads, bread, and butter were already present at each setting. The ponies ate and conversed while the staff brought out wine. Like everything else in Equestria, the wine was quite good, and surprisingly potent.

After a while, the main course came out. The wait staff carried tall stacks of plates, covered in metal cloches, either in their magic or on their backs, while others cleared the salad plates. With practiced ease, the waiters set the plates in front of each of the guests and removed the cloches. It looked like a typical banquet dinner, but with the normal chicken breast in a human meal replaced by baked hay.

After the main course came the dessert course, a variety of cakes, as well as coffee, tea, and a dessert wine. Once everyone had been served, Twilight Sparkle stood and addressed the room.

“Thank you, everypony, and everyhuman, for coming to Ponyville to celebrate the coming wedding of Stone Arch and Rose Trellis. This wedding means so much to me, but I will speak my piece during the actual ceremony. Right now, there’s somepony, or rather someone, who would like to speak, the best stallion, Stone Arch’s brother, Evan.”

The ponies applauded; because they were seated, they clapped by putting their forehooves together, more like human clapping. Evan stood, looking over the crowd and smiling, as he waited for the applause to die down. Once it did, he began his speech.

“In our tradition, it is the solemn duty of the best man to embarrass the groom on the eve of his wedding. Our cultures are similar in so many ways, and I’m glad this is one tradition enjoyed by both the best man and the best stallion. Living in another world entirely, I probably won’t get to see my brother and his wonderful bride-to-be very often, let alone all of you. Thus, this is my one opportunity to share all of Jason’s embarrassing stories, and I intend to fully take advantage of this opportunity.”

Evan turned to face Jason. “And let’s be honest, you had it coming.” He turned back to the crowd. “For those who don’t know, Jason is eight years younger than me. That means my childhood involved changing plenty of diapers and enduring toddler tantrums. And by the time he was an awkward teenager, I was a grown man, with a job and living on my own, the perfect guy for a teenager to idolize.

“And I did my job corrupting little Jason. Let’s just say we did some things Mom and Dad wouldn’t have allowed.

“But nothing there really rises to the level of embarrassing,” Evan continued. “The good stories didn’t begin until Jason went off to college. He called me for advice on how to talk to a particular woman on campus. Me, the guy who never had a relationship serious enough to introduce to Mom and Dad.

“Still, that was the smart thing to do. See, when I was his age, I had the same question, and I went to Dad for advice. Then Mom. Jason came to me instead. Clearly, Jason got the brains in this family.

“My advice worked, of course. And the next time we talked, Jason was already calling her ‘the one’. As if going to college and being older suddenly made relationships easier. Trust me, I’m forty years old; it doesn’t. On this, I definitely blame Mom and Dad. They got it right on the first try. Met in college, dated for three years, and got married.” The ponies applauded their parents.

“So, anyway, my next call was from a heartbroken Jason. I told him that these things happen. Heartbreak happens to everyone, and the only cure is to always look forward. And sure enough, within a week, I got another call from Jason, about a different woman. He bounced right back.

“It was a frequent cycle. Meet a woman, have a date, start planning their life together, get heartbroken, bounce back. Time for an admission, little brother. All my advice? I was just pulling from whatever movie or television show I had just watched. It was always you, Jason; your smile, your positive attitude, your willingness to put yourself on the line.” The ponies applauded again.

“And then you graduated, and I stopped hearing about your adventures and misadventures in love. We started talking about boring things, like furnishing an apartment, or the best place to go grocery shopping. I remember cheering when you finally got that job. And then there was that one conversation where I suspected something was up. I asked if you had a new girlfriend, and you said you did, a nice woman named Rose. I noticed you didn’t call her ‘the one’. At that moment, I knew she was going to be the one.

“The one thing I never understood is why I never heard talk of marriage. I mean, I knew you were living together, and the way you two acted, you were practically a married couple. So what was taking so long?

“And then came October 27, when the entire freaking world changed. Flash forward eight months, and I’m standing here with four hooves and two wings. And it’s all your fault, Jason, or should I say, Stone Arch. But whatever name you want to call yourself, there’s one name that you’ll always have, and it’s one only I get to use: little brother. And this big brother couldn’t be prouder today.”

Evan motioned with a hoof to Jason and Rose, and the happy couple stood up. They kissed and nuzzled, and the whole room erupted in applause. The ponies stomped their hooves on the floor and table, making it even louder. After several minutes, the noise faded, and Jason and Rose sat down.

Evan remained standing, and spoke again. “Oh, I did promise embarrassing stories. When Jason was four, I saw him pee on the carpet, and even though I tattled, the puppy got the blame. When he was eleven, he was totally fixated on a certain boy band, and when Mom wouldn’t take him to the barber to get his hair done like Justin Timberlake, he tried cutting it himself. He wore a knit cap for two months as a result. And Jason, I know you used the Playboys I had hidden in my closet. That’s why I left them. But one guy to another? You need to treat those classics with the respect they are due. The way you returned the magazines? Not cool, man. Not cool.”

Laughs filled the dining hall, and looking at his brother, Evan was left wondering how ponies could visibly blush.

With Evan’s speech finished, the dinner was officially over. Ponies broke off in groups, continuing to converse, but for two particular ponies, it was time to part. Jason and Rose kissed and nuzzled for a long time before they separated, Rose being escorted from the castle by her bridesmares. From a respectful distance, Evan and their parents watched the farewell.

“You need to stay apart until the moment of the wedding?” Evan asked.

“Yes. It’s tradition, a lot like our own wedding superstitions,” Jason replied. “But hey, at least I get to stay in the castle for one night.”

“You never told us about your honeymoon plans,” Janine said.

Jason chuckled. “We have nothing planned. Rose is a farmer, and she’s tied to her land from Winter Wrap-Up through the Running of the Leaves,” he said. He saw his parents’ confused expression. “That’s the first day of spring until mid-November,” he clarified.

“Is that why the other wedding is being held the weekend before Thanksgiving?” Christopher asked.

“Indeed,” Jason said. They planned a second ceremony on Earth, for the benefit of their human relatives.“The Caribbean cruise afterward will be our honeymoon. Our trip to Tampa was Rose’s first visit to the beach, and she’s wanted to see more. I just hope we can avoid the paparazzi.”

Evan nodded. Being one of what Twilight Sparkle called the Friendship Pioneers made Jason famous, with all the positives and negatives of fame. There was already a ghostwritten book by Jason talking about life in Equestria, which at least was enough for him to afford a Caribbean cruise, but the downside was his wedding would attract attention not given to the typical wedding between an engineer and a farmer.

Jason turned to his parents. “We have the night free. Is there anything you’d like to do in your short time here?”

Janine smiled. “Remember how we used to go for walks after dinner? Why don’t we do that now? Show us what you love about Ponyville, Jason.”

And so, for about two hours, the Sedmak family toured Ponyville. It was a beautiful evening, warm with a pleasant breeze, and they were not the only people to have decided on a stroll. With the light of the full moon and the streetlights, Ponyville looked different, but still as charming. And as Jason described the locations in town, always talking about the connections he made to other ponies in these places, it was quite clear how the town found its place in Jason’s heart, long before Rose led him to plant his roots.

Author's Note

Here’s my first chapter update since the update to Fimfiction. Let’s hope things work! Already, I’m noticing some instances where spaces between sentences aren’t being pasted correctly, and tabs seem to have disappeared entirely from this and previous chapters.

Next chapter is the wedding. It won’t be posted next week; hopefully, it will be ready in two weeks.

Chapter 7: The Return

The Best Man

By Alaborn

Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.

Chapter 7: The Return

Sunday, June 28, 2020
Ponyville, Principality of Equestria

Evan Sedmak stirred, feeling a pleasant warmth. The sun was up, and a sunbeam illuminated the bed, but the warmth was mostly coming from the pony next to him. He awoke cuddling with April Showers, one wing draped over the mare. He didn’t remember doing that after they had finally tired out each other; perhaps that was some pegasus instinct at work. That warm feeling, which he realized was not just a physical sensation, also felt instinctual, a closeness he didn’t feel as a human. It was like being a pony made him want to be near other ponies.

Evan leaned over and nibbled on April Shower’s ear. He had discovered the mare really liked that contact. Her ear twitched, she smiled, and then she leaned into Evan. “Morning,” she muttered sleepily.

Evan nuzzled her. “Good morning,” he said.

“Thank you for the wonderful night,” April Showers said. She stretched. “But right now, I need to get cleaned up. Ready to shower?”

“Wait. You mean together?” he asked.

“Of course,” she replied. She frowned. “Is it true that humans don’t like communal bathing?”

“Not normally. It’s almost always a solitary activity.”

“Maybe humans are different, but it’s a lot easy to wash with a friend’s help,” April Showers said.

“When a couple showers together, normally they’re not, you know, just showering,” Evan said.

April Showers smiled. “Then I’ll think you’ll find that humans and ponies aren’t that different after all.”

They headed to the tub, and Evan turned on the water. He now understood why the tub was the size it was.

April Showers was right. Evan learned that having a friend did make it easier to clean all those hard-to-reach parts of the pony body. Of course, he didn’t learn that for some time; they first spent a considerable amount of time under the hot water making each other dirty. He silently thanked the magic castle for having a limitless supply of hot water.

After the shower, they toweled off, an act that actually worked with another pony, and brushed each other. When they finished, April Showers kissed him. “If you ever visit Ponyville again, look me up,” she said with a smile.

They parted and went their own ways. By the time Evan made it to the dining room, April Showers was already there, sitting with her friends. Surveying the crowd, Evan found it much smaller than the previous day, with only the wedding party and close friends and family in attendance. He went over and joined his parents.

“Morning,” Christopher said. “Sleep well?”

“Of course,” Evan said smoothly. He glanced over at the end of the table, where Jason and Rose were seated, next to a small collection of wrapped presents. “I thought Jason said that gifts weren’t expected here?”

“He told us that because we’ll be attending the wedding in our world,” Janine said. “We talked about it a little last night. He said that ponies don’t care much about material things, valuing friendship more, but for an event like a wedding, the closest guests will bring small gifts that represent them.”

“They should be opening the gifts after we eat,” Christopher said.

A few minutes later, breakfast arrived. Spike came out of the kitchen, carrying a tray of pastries many times his size over his head, while Twilight Sparkle carried dozens of plates in her magical aura. They served Jason and Rose first, then the other guests, before finally making it over to the Sedmaks. The meal on the plates resembled eggs Benedict, but presumably was lacking Canadian bacon.

Once the plates were set down, Twilight Sparkle conjured a scroll and quill. Leaning over, Evan saw the scroll was a checklist, with pictures and check boxes.

“Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Sedmak, Evan,” Twilight Sparkle started. “Since you’re going home today, I wanted to make sure that you haven’t consumed anything that could pose a digestive issue when you change forms. Since midnight, have any of you consumed any hay?”

“No,” they all said, shaking their heads.”

“Daffodils? Marigolds?”

“No,” Evan said.

“Princess, we were in bed long before midnight, and haven’t eaten anything today,” Christopher interrupted. “As long as there isn’t anything harmful in this lovely breakfast, I think we’re good to go.”

“Yes, this breakfast is all foods humans eat,” she replied. “Evan, is the same true for you?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Good! Then enjoy your breakfast. We worked very hard--”

Spike cleared his throat.

“--well, mostly Spike worked very hard on the meal,” she finished.

They thanked the princess and the dragon, and Evan and his parents picked up their silverware. The breakfast wasn’t anything special, but it was good, hearty food, something like they might get at a casual restaurant.

After everyone finished eating, Jason and Rose turned to the presents. It appeared that ponies didn’t use weddings as a way to build up goods for a household; judging from what Evan had seen, their homes were rather less cluttered. Rather, the gifts were handmade and personal, just like his parents had mentioned. For each gift, the married couple thanked the ponies that gave them the gift; they seemed to be able to identify the giver just based on the gift.

Once they were done, Jason spoke to the crowd. “There are certain guests I specifically asked not to bring gifts. Their simple presence was the most important gift. There’s also the issue that nopony knows what might happen to a gift brought from the human world.” The crowd chuckled. “Mom, Dad, Evan, thank you for being part of my wedding, even when you learned it would involve becoming a pony. I know it’s a lot to ask of anyone, but you came, and you always had a smile on your face. And for that, I thank you.

“We have one gift we’re going to give to everypony in the wedding party, a photo album to help you remember the event. Mom, Dad, Evan, we’ll bring them for you the next time we visit the human world. But Rose and I agreed you needed something to bring home, to help commemorate the day. And so we asked Flash to rush a few of the photos.”

Jason had a big grin on his face as he walked up to his family. “These are some of the choice photographs from our big day. Please take them home with you.”

Evan took the small stack of photographs and put them where everyone could see them. The first photos were typical wedding photos: the arranged shot of the wedding party, the bride and groom standing before the princess, the married couple kissing. Then Evan saw the shots of him and April Showers. Looking at them, he was struck by how intimate they looked. It was markedly different from the photos of his parents dancing.

Jason gathered his parents in a hug. “Again, let me thank you for being here. I know this was a lot to have to accept. The love you’ve shown us, it really means a lot.”

“We would always love you, no matter what you did. We always meant that,” Janine said.

“Congratulations, son,” Christopher added. “You’ve made history, you know that?”

Jason smiled. “That’s nowhere near as important as what our marriage means to us.”

An hour later, the guests had departed, all except Jason’s family. They now waited in the same room where they all arrived, accompanied only by Jason, Rose, and Twilight Sparkle. The princess was concentrating, shaping magical energies in the room around her.

“I’ve never actually watched her create the portal,” Jason commented. “It’s quite fascinating, watching the casting, feeling the impact on the ambient magic.”

“It’s making my horn itch,” Christopher said.

“I feel it too,” Evan said. There was a tickling in his wings from the shifting magic, a sensation that was setting off alarm bells in his mind, or more likely the pegasus portion of his brain.

“It’s perfectly safe,” Twilight Sparkle said, with only a slight hitch in her speech giving evidence of the phenomenal power she was wielding.

The first visual indication of the spell was a pinprick of violet light that manifested in the center of the room. It grew, stretched, and finally anchored to the floor, forming a rectangular violet portal. The swirling, indistinct shapes beyond looked a lot like the first time Evan saw the portal.

Jason’s mother hugged him. “I’m going to miss you, son,” she said.

“I can’t call you, except when I’m home, but we can write,” Jason said. He pulled out a large book and floated it onto Janine’s back.

“Is that one of those magical journals?” Christopher asked.

“It is. One of the few methods of instant communication in this world, and it even works between worlds,” Jason replied. “I have one for you, too, Evan.”

Evan grabbed the floating book with his foreleg, trapping it against his body. “Thanks.”

“Goodbye, son,” Christopher said. He offered his hoof, and Jason bumped it.

Evan didn’t have a hoof to offer, with one foreleg occupied, until he spread his wings and hovered off the ground. He then put his hoof to Jason’s with a solid thunk.

“Bye. Safe journeys!” Jason said.

The parents walked into the portal first, their forms disappearing into the violet haze. Evan landed and, after giving one last look to his brother and sister-in-law, returned home.

Evan again found moving through the portal to be an experience that was hard to describe. Coming through from the Equestria end this time, he could feel the magic through his body, a sensation that faded as he felt the physical transformation. The pressure in his back was strongest, where his wings were no doubt being reincorporated into his body. His quadrupedal posture, which once felt so natural, now felt off as his legs changed.

Then, in an instant, it was all over. He stumbled onto the floor of his brother’s apartment, sprawled on hands and knees, joining his parents. All three of them seemed stunned by the return to their natural bodies.

“Well, that happened,” Evan said.

Evan was first to stand, leaning against the wall to maintain his balance. He then helped his parents up. Left on the floor were the photographs from the wedding; Evan leaned down and picked them up.

Together, the three humans looked over the photographs again. The images were the same, but the paper changed, looking more like pictures developed from human film. “You two look cute,” Janine said as she looked at the picture of Evan and April Showers.

“Evan, if you wanted to follow your brother, you know we’d support you,” Christopher said.

Evan shook his head. “No. Sure, flying was nice, but you know what’s nicer? Hands, and technology, and everything here on Earth. I like being human,” he said. “And I’d be perfectly happy to stay in this world for the rest of my life.”

Author's Note

Silly Evan. By saying that, you're all but guaranteeing another trip to Equestria.

Chapter 6: The Ceremony

The Best Man

By Alaborn

Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.

Chapter 6: The Ceremony

Saturday, June 27, 2020
Ponyville, Principality of Equestria

Evan Sedmak awoke just after dawn with a smile on his face. The sky outside was clear, birds were chirping, and his little brother was getting married. He wasn’t ready to break out in song, but there was joy in his heart. But it was nothing compared to what his brother was surely feeling.

He headed downstairs, finding that he wasn’t the only early riser. A number of ponies were already awake, chatting over tea, coffee, and pastries. One busy little dragon was attending to the guests.

Evan, however, wasn’t ready to eat. He headed outside and took to the skies, flying at a leisurely pace around Ponyville to limber up, before heading to the gym. Several familiar faces greeted him, and he worked out again. He exercised his legs, and when Bulk Biceps warned him not to skip his wings, he agreed to try it. That particular exercise involved sitting at an angle on a special weight machine with his wings strapped in. The weights were on a cable behind him. After he was done, he looked to see how much he had lifted. There was no way he should have been able to lift that much.

He felt the pleasant ache of a good workout as he returned to the castle. After a shower, Evan donned his tuxedo shirt. He was surprised he could button the shirt using only his mouth. He looked to the bow tie, and wisely chose to leave it to later.

By the time he was done, the castle was abuzz with activity. The visiting ponies filled the dining hall and surrounding rooms. Evan found his brother and parents seated together. His mother was wearing a lovely dress, while his father and brother both looked like him, wearing only their tuxedo shirt. Dirty plates, covered in syrup, were pushed aside near them.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Janine said.

“Pretty sure I got up before you two. I went to the gym,” Evan said, flexing his muscles. “How did you two sleep?”

“Surprisingly well,” Christopher replied. “Everything was so quiet, and this body, while still old, didn’t come with my normal aches and pains. But it still feels wrong.”

“If you’re like me, it will soon start feeling normal,” Evan said.

“There should be more pancakes coming out soon,” Janine said.

Evan could see into the kitchen, where Spike was busy cooking, aided by several other ponies. It looked like some of the guests who had finished breakfast were chipping in and helping out. Sure enough, Spike soon came out of the kitchen, carrying a plate of pancakes that looked nearly as big as him.

Spike dropped the plate of pancakes on the table, between the Sedmak family and another group. Jason levitated two pancakes onto a clean plate. “How many do you want?” he asked Evan.

“Start with two, and we’ll see from there,” Evan replied.

Jason waved to attract Spike’s attention. “Hey, have you seen the princess?” he asked him.

Spike shrugged. “Not sure. I know she’s up; her door’s open and her bed’s made. She’s probably reviewing her wedding checklist.”

“Could you look for her? It’s not normal for her not to be here, with the guests,” Jason said. “And could you make sure John is up?”

“I don’t know, I’m kind of busy here,” Spike said.

“I’ll help out in the kitchen,” Janine volunteered. “I’ve been making pancakes all my life.”

“Well, okay,” Spike said. He headed out.

Janine headed to the kitchen. Evan and Jason watched their mother work. She dropped a few pancakes, but with the other ponies helping her, she got the hang of manipulating a spatula with her mouth.

A few minutes later, Spike returned. “Hey, Spike!” Jason called.

The little dragon walked right past them at a rapid pace. “Nope nope nope nope nope,” he muttered.

“Spike? Spike?” Getting no response, Jason jumped up from the table and ran off towards their rooms.

Evan abandoned his breakfast and chased after his brother. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m going to see what’s going on,” Jason replied.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m looking for John,” he said. “I think his room is not far from ours.”

The enormous castle had a remarkable number of spare bedrooms on their floor. Most had their doors open, with the beds showing signs of use. Jason headed to one where they couldn’t see inside; the door was open just a crack.

Jason quietly pushed the door open and looked in, and Evan poked his muzzle in behind his little brother. They found John, still asleep. They also found Twilight Sparkle, asleep and spooning with John. One of the alicorn’s wing covered John as they lay atop a disheveled bed. And with the heavy smell in the room... well, if ponies were anything like humans in that respect, it was clear exactly how they had spent the night.

“Dude,” Evan whispered.

Twilight Sparkle stirred, and nuzzled John affectionately. “Good morning,” she said.

John’s eyes blinked open. He returned the nuzzle and gave Twilight Sparkle a peck on the lips. “Morning.”

Evan gasped.

Twilight Sparkle’s ear twitched, and she turned to look at Jason and Evan. She looked at John, then back at the brothers, then back at John again. “Eep!” she squealed. Her horn lit, and she teleported away.

Jason stormed into the room. “Dude! You banged the princess?” he shouted.

“I, uh, wouldn’t phrase it like that, but, uh, yes?” John replied.

Jason stepped closer to John. “How could you?”

“How could I? Why shouldn’t I? She’s a woman... mare, whatever, and she’s free to do whatever she wants!”

When Jason inched forward again, Evan reacted, pulling him out of the room. Only once he did that did he realize how he had pulled him out, by the tail. That must be how ponies did that, he realized, but at that moment he didn’t care about that, or the hairs in his mouth. He stamped his hoof and looked Jason in the eye. “Stop it.”

“What?”

“John is your friend,” Evan said. “He’s a friend that’s known for years you’ve been in a relationship with a pony. Did he ever criticize you for that?”

“Well, no, but....”

“So why are you criticizing him?”

“But the princess....”

“If you have a problem, talk to her,” Evan interrupted. “You’re in tight with her, right?”

“Yes, but....”

“Jason, you’re getting married today. Focus on that. Go help your groomsmen get dressed or something. I’ll talk to John.”

Jason huffed and walked away, his hooffalls echoing loudly through the hallway.

Evan returned to the bedroom. “So, you and the princess? How’d that happen?” he asked John.

“Well, last night, we watched Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, and we were talking about the movie afterward,” John said. “It started with talking about all the interesting magic shown in the movie, and then we got to talking about the differences in the wizard world between Britain and the U.S. Twilight Sparkle brought up the tragic forbidden relationship between Queenie and Kowalski, which was a big difference between the two worlds, and she seemed particularly interested in it. I asked if there was any sort of restrictions on her, on account of being an alicorn.”

“And?”

“The short answer is no. But Twilight Sparkle talked about how everyone treated her differently after she became an alicorn, and she bemoaned the fact that no one treated her like a mare.”

Evan looked at John twisting his hoof in circles. “I know there’s more. What happened next?”

“I sort of said I thought she was a wonderful mare, and after she asked a few more questions, basically confirming I really felt that about her, she pounced me.”

“Whoa.”

“That was my thought, too. At first I thought, ‘I can’t do this; she’s a pony, and I’m a human.’ But then I remembered how she was smart, witty, passionate about learning, and adorably nerdy. It’s what I’ve been looking for in a girlfriend. So I went along with it.”

“For quite a while, I’d guess.”

“You don’t even know. It was like she had read everything there was about sex, and wanted to try it all.”

“Wait. Do ponies, like, last longer or something?” Evan asked.

“It wasn’t that different, really. But she knew spells, man.”

“Like pony Viagra?”

John laughed. “I guess I should have called a doctor, because I’m pretty sure it lasted more than four hours.”

“Dude.” Evan raised a forehoof. John stared for a moment, and then imitated the gesture. Evan gave him a brohoof.

“Nice. But right now, you need a shower,” Evan said. He sniffed the air. “Seriously.”

John nodded, and scurried out of the room.

It was a beautiful summer day in Ponyville, warm with a slight breeze, and not a cloud to be seen. Evan mused about how convenient weather control must be as he waited on one side of the park with Jason’s groomsmen. In a nearby tent, Jason waited with their parents. On the bride’s side of the park was a similar setup; Rose was inside with her parents, with the bridesmaids waiting outside. He glanced in that direction, and noticed April Showers looking at him. He glanced away.

Along the green, benches were set up, benches filled with seated ponies, most wearing some manner of clothing. Dresses, collars, and suits were all visible, but true to Rarity’s words, no one was wearing pants.

Evan glanced back to John, Digger, and Rock Crusher, looking dapper in their tuxedos. Even the two burly earth ponies cleaned up nicely.

Music sounded, coming from a single pony, a gray earth pony who was somehow managing to play a cello with hooves. The music was unfamiliar, but it managed to sound like wedding music to Evan. That was the cue for the wedding to start.

The first pony to head down the aisle was an adorable earth pony filly with a wreath of violets in her mane. In her mouth she held a basket filled with flower petals, and she spread the petals across the aisle as she walked. Following her was a cute earth pony colt in a tuxedo; a pillow with a bracelet and a ring was balanced on his back.

That was Evan’s cue. He walked to the aisle, meeting April Showers, and started down the aisle at her side; the mare lightly brushed his wing with her own. The groomsmen and bridesmaids followed, and they all took their places at the front. At the center stood Twilight Sparkle, wings outstretched, wearing a crown with a jewel that resembled her cutie mark, along with a gold peytral and gold hoof coverings.

There was a pause while everyone got into position. Evan glanced at John; he was carefully not looking at Twilight Sparkle.

The music that had been playing stopped, and a new piece started in its place. At that point, Jason started down the aisle, followed by their parents. Jason turned and stood facing the crowd; their parents took their seat up front.

The music changed again, now playing the pony equivalent of Here Comes the Bride. Finally, Rose appeared, followed by her parents. The mare’s dress was simply stunning, with embroidery that called to mind her namesake flower. She wore a single red rose in her mane.

The music stopped, and Twilight Sparkle stepped forward, folding her wings to her side. “As Princess of Friendship, I bid you welcome, each and every one of you. Mares and stallions, fillies and colts, ponies and humans. We have all gathered to celebrate a very special day, the joining of Stone Arch and Rose Trellis in the bonds of marriage. When they asked me to perform the ceremony, I was honored. Love may be the purview of my sister-in-law, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but what is love but a very special kind of friendship?

“And the friendship and love between Stone Arch and Rose Trellis is special indeed, as it is a love that crosses the barrier between worlds. The human world may not see magic in the same way as we do, but both worlds understand the most powerful magic of all, the magic of friendship. I am overjoyed to see their love bloom.

“The bride and groom have elected a simple ceremony, in the earth pony tradition. And so, we will begin.”

Twilight Sparkle paused and lowered her head. She then removed her hoof coverings, using her mouth rather than her magic. It looked like a deliberate action to Evan.

She raised each hoof in time and planted it on the ground, and then raised her head and spoke. “Today we stand with the fertile earth under our hooves, and Celestia’s life-giving sun over our heads. Earth and Sun. These are the only things any earth pony needs to bring forth new life. And so we stand, with Earth and Sun, to celebrate the union of two ponies, continuing the grand cycle. May their love have deep roots and bear fruit.”

Twilight Sparkle turned to Jason. “Stone Arch, do you take Rose Trellis to be your wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until the great earth claims you once more?”

“I do,” Jason said.

“Do you, Rose Trellis, take Stone Arch to be your husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until the great earth claims you once more?”

“I most certainly do,” Rose said.

“Rocky Top, please present the rings.”

The colt stepped forward and knelt. Rose raised a forehoof. Jason picked up the bracelet, using his mouth, and put it around her leg. Then, Jason lowered his head. Rose picked up the ring in her mouth and slid it down Jason’s horn.

“I now pronounce you stallion and mare,” Twilight Sparkle said. “You may....” She was preempted by the couple skipping ahead to the kiss, a move that was greeted with raucous cheers and loud stomping of hooves by the guests in attendance.

“Party!” one mare shouted, followed by a boom that sounded like a cannon. Jason looked back, and saw a pink mare, standing over a smoking cannon. There were suddenly a whole bunch of new decorations on the trail leading back to the castle.

There was an impromptu party after the ceremony was over, but soon, the gathered ponies headed back to the castle, where the evening’s celebration would be held. Their destination was the same ballroom where Evan had taken dance lessons the previous day, but it had been decorated in the interim. Flowers, bunting, and banners with the couple’s cutie marks decorated the walls, and tables and chairs were arranged on the edge of the dance floor. Off in one corner, a string quartet was getting ready to play; Evan recognized one member of the quartet, the gray earth pony cello player from the wedding.

While guests filed in, other ponies worked to bring out refreshments. There was punch and several varieties of desserts. Fortunately, there were no cannon to be seen inside the room.

Evan felt a wing brush his own. “Hey there,” April Showers said. “You ready to dance?”

“As long as you don’t mind my pitiful dancing,” he replied.

She smiled back at him. “I really don’t care about the quality of the dancing, just the dancer.”

Once everyone arrived, the music started playing. At the start of the second song, Evan watched Jason take the stage with their mother, while at the other end of the floor, Rose did the same with her father. As the song ended, the newlyweds separated from their parents and embraced on the dance floor. The spotlight was on them alone as they shared their first dance as husband and wife.

Evan felt a touch on his wings and looked back. April Showers had intertwined her feathers with his, a sensation like lightly holding hands. She smiled at him.

After the second song finished, the bridesmaids and groomsmen took the stage for the next dance. Evan stumbled at first, but April Showers helped him get his footing. She wrapped one wing around him, and nudged his other wing; Evan took the hint and wrapped it around her. It all felt quite intimate.

Looking around the dance floor, Evan didn’t see the other pegasi doing the same with their wings.

The formal dancing only lasted half an hour. The music then changed to popular dance music, bringing more ponies to the dance floor. This dancing lacked the same closeness; ponies mostly danced near each other. It was rather like a human dance club.

Evan took a break, heading to the tables in back, piled with food. He grabbed a slice of wedding cake and a goblet of punch. After polishing off the cake, he stood at the edge of the dance floor, goblet gripped in his pastern, and watched a most horrifying scene.

“They weren’t kidding when they said she couldn’t dance,” he muttered as he watched Twilight Sparkle flailing around the dance floor.

“Oh, we all knew that,” April Showers said as she pulled up next to Evan.

“I mean, there’s bad dancing, and then there’s jumping around like you’ve got a weasel trapped in your pants.”

April Showers giggled.

Evan turned to the mare. “Say, April Showers, do you bring May flowers?”

“Oh? You want me to bring my sister? How kinky.” She leaned in and whispered in his ear. “Want me to go get her?”

Evan choked on his punch. “No, that was a joke! A human joke.” He sighed. “I should have guessed May Flowers was also a pony name.”

“You’re cute when flustered,” April Showers said. “You know, there’s nothing like a wedding to put a mare in the mood.” She smirked at him. “See you later?”

As she left, April Showers flicked her tail across Evan’s muzzle. She then joined her friends on the dance floor.

The party continued for hours. As time passed, the crowd thinned, and the remaining ponies were more inclined to spend their time talking than dancing. Only the crazy pink pony who used the cannon was still going at full speed.

Evan looked around the room. The princess was still there, along with some of her close friends. But many of the guests had retired for the evening, his parents included. Only the wedding party was still hanging around in full. April Showers spent much of the evening with her friends, but Evan noticed she kept an eye on him.

Jason and Rose were seated at a table, looking rather tired, though that didn’t stop them from nuzzling each other. Rose spotted Evan, nudged Jason, and motioned in Evan’s direction. They spoke briefly, and then both got up. Rose walked over to the princess, while Jason went over to Evan.

“How are you feeling?” Jason asked Evan.

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Evan said.

“Physically tired, emotionally exhausted, but with enough left to say goodbye to everypony and then spend the first night with my wife. Once Rose gets done with her errand, we’ll look to getting out of here.”

“Errand?”

“She’s getting the princess to reverse the contraceptive spell.”

“Contraceptive spell?” Evan processed what that meant. “You’re going to, already?”

“We’ve wanted foals for years, but we agreed we needed to wait for the meeting between our worlds to happen. Once it was clear nopony and no one would do anything foolish after the meeting, we decided to try after the wedding. Next year, if all goes well, you’re going to be an uncle.”

“I am not ready for that,” Evan said.

“That’s my line,” Jason quipped. “No one’s ever really ready for kids.”

“So, contraceptive spells? Is that a common thing?” Evan asked.

“Pretty much all the mares get them, if they’re not looking to have a foal with their special somepony,” Jason replied. “So, no worries, if you wanted to spend the night with a certain mare....”

Evan glanced across the room to April Showers. “I don’t know if I can,” he said.

“Look, Evan. It’s my turn to give the brotherly advice,” Jason started. “You have to look at the person inside. Earlier today, a good friend of mine pointed out that I’d been guilty of the same thing, and you called me out on it too. He was right. You were right. I only know April Showers a little, but she seems like a wonderful person.”

Evan looked again at April Showers; the mare met his gaze and smiled at him.

Jason leaned in and whispered. “You’ve got to try it. It’s like your first time all over again.”

Jason gave Evan a quick hug and rejoined his wife. April Showers then headed over to Evan.

“So, when do you go home?” she asked.

“Tomorrow, sometime. Whenever the princess is ready, I suppose. And you?”

“Even though I live in town, the princess was kind enough to provide all the ponies in the wedding party with rooms for the evening,” April Showers said. “Although, it seems like such a waste to make two bedrooms dirty, when the beds are plenty big enough for two ponies.” April Showers smiled and traced a feather down his neck.

Evan made his decision. “I was just thinking my own bed was big enough for two,” he said.

She wrapped a wing around him. “Then let’s continue this celebration in private.”

Author's Note

Deep down, Evan knew he would regret not trying it as a pony.

One more short chapter will follow as everyone heads home.