I still don't like "them" Apples

by Skylarking the Stargazer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Comedy, Rarity, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1016

Rarity laments over Applejack's honest opinion on fashion, that is until she heard Strawberry Sunrise's honest opinion on apples... Again...

Would you eat an ugly looking apple? No, because it's clearly rotten and thus wasted, just like any clothing...

And strawberries too.

Published 2017-05-21 12:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-21 12:00:01 UTC

Because they are "ridiculous"

Author's Note

I didn't know what I just wrote but it came to me a few days after watching the episode ("Honest Apple").

A simple short story for stress relief.

Because they are "ridiculous"

Dear Rarity's mental diary,

Oh yes, I am Rarity. Yesterday night has been a quite, bombastic one I have to say. How many times have I dealt with a common earth pony? And an earth pony from the boondocks? Quite "sweet" wouldn't you say?

While it is true that we got over our differences in personal tastes at Twilight's old residence, it just doesn't make any sense when Applejack was even chosen as one of our judges for a fashion designing contest?

Of course, it was me.

I could not say, that Applejack's honesty does eclipse just about anypony in Ponyville. I can even safely assure that she is the most honest pony ever in all of Equestria. What can possibly go wrong now with somepony of qualitative decency? There is no need for any exquisite taste in fashion as long as you have a strong feeling about what you wear.

Apparently Applejack just happened to be an outskirt farmer for too long. Too long I tell you!

I should've listened to her when she said it wasn't a good idea, I should've listened to her when she said she knew little of my profession, I should've listened to her when she said she owned "twenty" stetson hats in her simple, wooden wardrobe. Seriously, who even owns the same dull accessory for her entire lifetime?!

Rarity blinked when two foals were rolling past her in a barrel, not once did she bother to turn around and look.

Well darling, that wasn't the worst part. It comes after Applejack became a big mouth all because she knew how to make good use of her sister's hat! Which was the same exact style she had in her substandard closet! How rude and blatant the truth can be! If she could not even tell the difference between Inky Rose's buttoned melancholy and her distressed black, why would she judge feathers on Lily Lace's hat? I guarantee that she could not even understand the material used on her accursed stetson hat!

P.S. the material used for stetson hats are made of leather and those poor innocent woodland creatures. Fluttershy would not be pleased.

I thought everything would recover by the next day, which was yesterday, but heavens, no! She went on to say that "fashion is ridiculous"! RIDICULOUS?! Is that crazy mare out of her uneducated mind?

"I'm a crrrrrazy old mare!" Granny Smith exclaimed, trotting across the Ponyville street at the pace of a fat sloth. Rarity rolled her eyes.

Oh dreadful! Just dreadful! How could this have happened to some beautiful pony like me? The innocent, pure hearted, generous me? What on Equestria have I done to deserve such hateful words?

I wanted to cry like I always do, but apparently one cannot be denounced to such foalishness, so I will proceed to cry on the inside like Applejack.

She pictured herself laying on her giant couch, sobbing tears and flooding the room.

Well, that wasn't as dramatic as I thought it would be.

But you see now, darling, being silly is one thing, but the ludicrous candidness was absolutely off the expectations of a normal pony! How can anypony generalize a whole subject as being "ridiculous"? Oh the word surely gives me a headache!

Rarity pretends to wince at the pain, even though there was none.

And a lady should not fool herself more than once.

Good heavens' grace! Even after the refashion, after committing such atrocious crime, Applejack's three words were said to be her "honest opinion". I-I-I-I-I just could not live up to myself with such awful words. I almost felt regretful coming ways with a pony like her. wish I could go back in time and groom the designed plot, but that old farmer's indigenous stupidity has gotten the better of me! There is nothing I could do to get rid of her subjectivity.

No wonder she is always so energetic despite having so many ponies put off by her ethics, ignorance is bliss after all. Well I never!

Should I even try to talk her out of this subdued situation? Regardless, I'm just doomed, DOOMED I say! Anything I do would be absolutely futile. Whose menacing words were those to belong?!

Rarity startled, two familiar voices traveled through her ears. Without further ado she immediately trotted towards their direction. By the time she stopped to see who the voices belonged to, she frowned in dismay.

"Ah'm tellin' ya our apples are organic-made and ripe products made through hard sweat, sugarcube. Yer would be bustin' and hustlin' your whole day and earn that good ol' sleep every night!"

"Oh yes, 'sugarcube'," Strawberry Sunrise cringed at her last word, "I don't think I care for anything so tasteless and disgusting. And I'm sure we just got over this mindless conversation before."

The farmer's face grew red, but she was well aware what happened last time when she snapped. "Our apples ain' disgusting!"

"Well I've tried them, and again, they're not strawberries—"

"And unlike strawberries, they are fresh and, um, round!"

Strawberry turned her mundane face away. "Uh-huh, and you probably should just get that stinky Apple breath off my coat, I don't want to be crawled over by pesky worms tonight."

Enraged, Applejack stamped her hoof, on the verge of hoofing her adversary in the face.

"Maybe 'tis time for you to put aside yer darn cone lookin' sweets and sip some of our homegrown treat!"

She took out a wooden cup of apple cider and faked an awkward smile. Strawberry, not amused, walked back into her house with her head hung up. Immediately she launched a strawberry pie into Applejack's face, knocking her cider off her hoof in the process. Covered with both fruit-made products, Applejack reached her tongue out for the taste.

"Wow, 'tis ain't bad!"

Rarity smacked her own face, before walking away in embarrassment.