I Don't Want to be Fine

by Lichlord18

Rating: mature
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Human, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Sad
Length: 1204

My own take on the story "You're Not Fine" by Full_merr. Read that first to get context for this story. Sad story with no happy ending.

Pinkie keeps on coming over. Says she's trying to 'make you happy!'. But do you really want that? Why would you?

My take on the story "You're Not Fine" by Full_merr. Read that first to get the general context for this story. All credit for this idea goes to him. Or her, but this is the internet, so who knows?

Published 2017-05-18 06:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-18 06:40:01 UTC

Why Would I?

You are sitting on your couch. It's almost time again, like clockwork she always comes at the same time, every day. It would be funny, and a great time keeper, if it wasn't so sad.

"Nonny! Would you like to have your 'welcome to ponyville' party today? I know that you don't like me asking, but if you just try it I'm sure that you'll like it!... Please?" You heard her ask for what seemed like the hundredth time.

It was Pinkie Pie. You lived right across from Sugercube Corner, and while that meant that you had a very, very short walk to practically anything you needed as it was almost in the center of town, near the markets, it also meant that she had almost as short a walk to your house. Perhaps she used her lunch brake to come and speak at you. At, because you had never responded before. Until now.

You get up and open the door for her, letting her inside of your home. You've never done this for anypony in the three weeks you've been here. This fact as well as the fact that you have let her in seems to have made her happy for some reason, making her smile quite wide. You haven't said anything but she talks as though you have, as though she was simply picking up a previously dropped conversation.

"I'm so glad you actually opened the door! I was starting to get afraid that you would never open up, and then I would have to come in anyway and give you a sappy speech about how even if it looks like we're all happy we're actually not all happy, and then you'd agree to try and make some friends to stop me from crying, and-"

You interrupt her, with a sharp "Pinkie."

"Oh, sorry!" She says to you, giving a sheepish grin, "I know, I can kind of ramble, hehe... Umm, so, party? When? Oh, and here or at Sugercube Corner?" she asks, trying to get back on track. Or at least on her track.

"To answer in order," You tell her in your calmest voice, "No, never, and it doesn't matter as it won't happen. I didn't let you in here because I wanted to accept your attempts at forcing me to take part in your favorite pastime. It was to tell you, in no uncertain terms, to stop trying to make me make friends."

As you've been speaking her face has been falling. It started with her eyes, as most of their expressions do, going from bright and cheery and darkening to look almost hopeless. Almost.

"But, if you don't go outside, or to a party, or even just more than to the market, then how will you ever make friends? You can't just live alone for your whole life! That would just be so... sad..." she trailed off on the verge of tears, staring at you, almost as though challenging you to either make the tears go away...

Or to push them over the edge.

"But I can. Live alone, that is. I have, for most of my life, and I don't see the problem that you do. You seem to think that everyone needs friends, but really it's just you and a minority of other unstable individuals who require such contact at all times. I won't pretend that I don't have problems, my self imposed separation, as a great example of one. And yes, I do realize that this is unhealthy, that it is damaging to my mental and physical health. But I don't care. Another of my issues, not caring, but I can't even bring myself to care about that, so.." You trail off having lost your train of thought.

"I won't stop. I'll keep trying to help you, even if you don't want me to!" she says, almost forming a half scream near the end.

"And there will be nothing that I can do to stop you without causing permanent damage, but you will stop eventually. Either from losing the last shred of hope you cling to that I might be anything like you, or from the inability to do so from injury or age. I would say that I'm sorry, but I'm not, and the idea that I would crave friendship like you do at all... It's either projection or your own apathy, accidental or otherwise." You tell her.

And you mean it, and worse still is that she knows you mean it. The tears are flowing freely now, and have been for a short amount of time, as though judging you for breaking this poor mare's heart. But you don't care, you have told her what you wanted to and now she can return to work. You need to rest for your job tonight as well. You had stayed up to speak with her, knowing that it would make you groggy at your workplace. And you did it anyway.

She had needed to hear it from you. She wouldn't have stopped otherwise, and it would have only led to more heartache in the long run.

"Please! I'll- I'll- I'll go get Twilight! Sh-She'll tell you! She was al-alone for a long time too and sh-she-" Pinkie tried before you cut her off.

"Twilight Sparkle has already tried to convince me of all the same points that you have. Now, you still have work to do today and I have work later tonight. I'm going to have to ask to leave so I can rest." You say while gesturing to the door, trying to get her to leave and save the rug from being replaced. Pony tears have this smell, and it never comes out once it gets in.

As your words process in her head she gets this... look. Like she had just figured out how to solve her problem, and it was an especially great idea.

"No. No, I don't think I will leave! I think I'll stay here until you decide to have your party!" She said with a manic grin, as though she had just won.

You could've just thrown her out of your house, but considering her status and her reputation it could also get you thrown out. Only instead of a home that you didn't own or live in, as was her case, it would be from the town.

"Fine." you said as you turned and laid down on your couch. Aside from a chair and a table it was the only piece of furniture you owned, so far at least as there was a bed being made for someone of your size right now.

You felt Pinkie climb up onto the couch with you, curling up like a cat as she nuzzled into you. She was probably thinking about how determined she was to 'save you'. How much she cared about you and wanted you to be happy.

"Why would I want to be happy? If you're happy, that just means you can be sad..." you thought to yourself. For a moment you almost wished you could care enough to find out.

But then It was gone. You did have work tonight, after all.