A Little Vice

The crash wakes me from my slumber. It is akin to what I imagine a train derailing and driving into a building would sound like. I am on my hooves and at the balcony doorway before I realize it. Shoving the doors open with my magic as I near them, I stop as quickly as I can, my tail nearly touching the tiles as my hind leg dropped in the skid.

The heat of fire washed over me and consumed my vision as what appeared to be a dirigible burnt in my yard. Another crash startled me out of my reprieve and I noticed another flying machine crashing into a nearby house, exploding mightily and scattering the house across the block.

I then see that there are almost as many ships falling from the skies as there are houses in Canterlot, and I am suddenly grateful to be alive, for my home is just missed. I get to my hooves and turn at a gallop to my room door, donning my robe and calling for my butler.

Are we at war? Is this a horrible accident? Will I live to see tomorrow!? I am in a panic!

I turn the halls and fly down the stairs until I hear the telltale sound of screaming, agonized, pleading voices calling my name.

What in Celestia’s name were they doing when the thing fell? is all I can think as I turn another hallway and reach the end suddenly.

The noises from the closed door are piercingly loud; I can hardly hear myself think. I turn and tug at the door handle, but the door won’t open. I rear and land my forehooves on the door, shouting.

The door cracks slightly so I turn and buck the door again and again. The crack widens and I feel the fires of Tartarus on my hind leg, but it’s a just pain. I feel as though my flesh is being boiled from my leg, yet I turn to look in. If they are to die, I should at least be the one to see them one last time so I can know their suffering.

The door cracks in the middle from top to bottom and sucks into the inferno where my staff is, writhing in agony on the floor. Eight ponies, all maneless burnt corpses that have yet to die. Their eyes have popped, their flesh charred and bleeding. They crawl across the floor leaving blood trails that the fire won’t touch.

I laugh.

It starts slow, a light chuckle in the back of my throat, but soon it’s maniacal. The ponies in white would take me away if they could hear me, see the unbridled joy on my expression.

There’s no way any other creature could understand the jubilance I feel watching the painful deaths of so many. Watching them slowly stop their crawling, listen as their voices are burnt out of them, watch as their fur and manes melt and wither, exposing their charred boiled flesh. I can feel the energy leave their bodies, it's refreshing like cold lemonade on a hot day.

Why am I crying? I’m so happy to see this with my own eyes, I shouldn’t be sobbing, especially not over my lower class staff. Not a unicorn among them, yet my eyes spill tears like they’re close friends to me. They lie, they must. I wouldn’t feel this way if I were to watch a pony die for real, would I?

A sudden flash of light and the beautiful Princess Cadence is in the room, a magic shield protecting her from the flames. She looks to me and calls out, but the fire is too loud and her shield too strong. I hear cracking and creaking, but I don’t know where it’s from as I peer through the smoke to see her shout noiselessly again.

She lowers her shield and her hooves touch the floor. She’s telling me to escape the house through the front door? Why would I leave such a beautiful spectacle before it’s over? An explosion above us and she looks up suddenly. The ceiling collapses on top of her and fills the room with debris, yet she still casts her shield. There must have been another falling sky boat that noticed the failure of the first.

A flash of light and we’re in a wooded area, she teleported us, to I don’t know where, and a shield dissipates from just above us. It seems that she took most of the room and dying ponies with us. The scent of burnt ponies makes me wretch as the smell finally strikes me, and I turn to heave but stop as my eyes take in the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen in my life.

A sight that will haunt my waking and sleeping dreams for the rest of my days, or so I hope. True beauty and resplendence incarnate. I slowly approach and look into Cadences eyes and see her pleading with me without words. There can be no words for several metal bars are lodged through her neck, supporting a wooden beam from the ceiling on top of them, locking her in place.

Most of her body has been impaled by burning wood and metal rods, her mane is barely ablaze, as though hair doesn’t burn like paper. I can’t think to experiment now as my heart overflows with admiration. Her panting breaths are short and raspy. Her blood has put out the fire below her, still steaming on the metal poles as it runs from her body to the floor. Blood drips slowly as her body seems to heal itself around the wounds, while the hot metal rods exposed through her back are still cooking her alive.

Her movements are little more than twitches of instinct than rational thought and her right foreleg is moving as though she were walking at a steady pace. Suddenly, the scent of burning death has new meaning as I lean in and press my lips to hers. She tries to pull away but the boards in her body prevent it, and she sings to me in her sultry voice. I kiss her again as she weakly sobs into my mouth, the blood in her saliva mixes with mine.

I lean back and watch her bloody tears stream down her pink face. This is the greatest moment of my life! I hope it never ends.

I pick up a piece of what was once a chair leg and look at its charred form, and I feel giddy. I’m going to see what the inside of a Princess’ eye socket looks like. I could have sex right now.

I feel my stallionhood fully exposed and I desire to mount this dying mare, so she can feel a real stallion before she dies.

I feel a light shove but ignore it.

I bring the chair leg to her eye level as I am shoved again, this time I hear my name.

I thrust the chair leg into the princesses eye and suddenly another flash of light.

“Fancy Pants, wake up!”

“F-fleur? What the- what’s...?”

“You were humping my back in your sleep, and moaning Princess Mi Amor Cadenza’s name. Now, it’s the middle of the night and ponies are allowed to dream, but please excuse me if I don’t allow you to wet my back,” she says as she’s climbing from the bed and going to the balcony door with a bit of frustration.

She opens the balcony doors and I hope so much to see fire raining from the skies, but instead, it’s a beautiful clear night; twinkling stars and all that nonsense.

I groan. “It was merely the best dream I’ve ever had, sex had nothing to do with it.”

“I’m not upset, just displeased to be awake at this early hour. It’s four in the morning, and I’m in no mood for sex if you’re going to ask.”

“We’re awfully presumptuous this night, aren’t we?”

She sighs and lowers her head. She mumbles something I can’t hear. “This isn’t what I was expecting this week,” she turns to me with a trembling lower lip. I can tell this is going to get uncomfortable. “I’m not used to being treated like a lady again. With baths, food, clothing, and shopping... If you want me only for my body, I think I can do that to keep this lifestyle.”

And there it is, the moment where everything turns awkward. Handle this delicately, Fancy Pants, very delicately.

“Nay, think nothing of it, Fleur. If I wanted you for your body I would have said so and sent you on your way, bits in bag this morning when I awoke. When you’re ready, return to bed with me and we can discuss this after sunrise if you’d like, as it’s still the middle of the night and resting on a thought is always best.”

Time passes with her looking out at the view whilst I lay in bed and look at her, my erection having receded seconds after she left the bed, but the dream is still fresh in my mind, teasing my rod to show again..

“I’m... I-I like you Fancy Pants. You’re a nice stallion and I didn’t think ponies like you existed anymore,” she turns back to look at me, her eyes shimmering slightly in the moonlight. It’s captivating. “I need time to get used to being normal again. Can you help me?”

With a chuckle I take a tissue from the box on the nightstand and bring it to her cheek. “Darling, I have all the time in the world for you.”

“Even if... I don’t want to have sex as much?” she sniffles, taking the tissue from me.

“Yes. To be honest, the sex was a bit much for what I’m used to. Shall we say, pencil it in our planners rather than do it as we see fit? I’m certain my staff will appreciate that more as well.”

She lets a chuckle through her tears and sniffles. “Yes, I would like that. You’re a kind pony, Fancy, and I can tell you’d give your waist coat to a cold pony before you let them freeze.”

I’d take the coat of a cat to stay warm, too, I chuckle. “Indeed I would. No pony should suffer, especially one as pretty as you.”

She leaves the doors open as she returns and crumbles the tissue and tosses it aside, taking another as she climbs onto the bed and lays with me. “You’re the nicest anypony has ever been to me. Thank you.”

“I… You’re welcome, Fleur.” We lay in the silence with her sniffling off and on until her breathing becomes steady and her body relaxes. She’s asleep again, and I’m okay with that. I like her a lot. “I’m sorry I humped your back,” I whisper. Her ear flicks and she hums, curling slightly. I kiss her head below her horn and lay back.

That dream was bliss, my heart still aches from it. To see such sights in reality would be more than I could handle. With a yawn, I feel my eyes growing heavy and I fall asleep without noticing.

The bird on the balcony wakes me yet again, although this time I’m not irritated at all. The mare sleeping, curled up against me like a foal, is all I need to think about. It’s been a mere two days since we met, yet I can hardly imagine how I got by without her. Bah, foalish feelings that will pass all too soon.

I have errands to run today, I can’t stay in bed too long. The bird flies away, I presume in defeat for it didn’t garner a response this time and I move carefully to the edge of the bed and roll off the side to my hooves. I make my way to my closet and choose what to wear with caution. Today I may run into an influential pony, for all I know.

I have to set up a meeting with a photographer, luncheon with Good and Plenty, afternoon games at Hero’s Country Club and make it home in time for supper with… Drat, I forgot Cold Springs is coming over to discuss land rights in the north eastern pastures for the asylum to be built.

Celestia, why am I so busy lately? I need a cat, to relax.

I dress and exit the room, taking monocle to eye and observing the sleeping mare in better detail before I leave. My heart aches for a moment as I leave the room alone and make my way down the hall and stairs. The dining room is empty, save for Grey Withers and a small buffet of fruits and vegetables, breads and cheeses, juices... The usual.

I fill my plate before I take a seat and start to eat as Grey Withers reminds me of my agenda, but I don’t feel hungry, I feel alone. “Grey Withers, be a gent and join me for breakfast?”

He’s taken aback and stammers as I interrupted his reading. “Sir?”

“Yes, I know I’ve never asked you to before but, would you mind joining me?”

“I, I’m sorry sir, but I’ve eaten already.”

“Then sit to keep me company while I eat,” I tell him. He nods and takes a seat two spaces down from me, the clip board resting on the table between us as he looks wearily at me. “Don’t fret, I’m not upset, I just wish to eat with somepony this morning.”

“Why not the lady in your chambers, sir?”

“I don’t wish to wake her, she’s too delicate a flower to be blown in the storm of my life as it is. Let her sleep in.”

“I, see,” he hesitates, “are you, affectionate with her?”

I take a bite of something and chew, letting my mind work. “Besides the sex, I think maybe I am. What should I do, send her away?” I suggest.

“No, that would be foolish. Are you asking for my advice?”

“I am, Grey Withers. You’re the only pony I confide in, and you know that.”

He gulps and glances to the kitchen door. “Indeed, sir. As always, your deepest secrets are safe with me. I advise you to stay with her, keep her around. It may be good for your image, but better for your soul. For you, as a pony. I haven’t seen you behave this way in years, nor has the other staff and it’s refreshing.”

“Refreshing how?”

“You’re happier and it shows as you practically pranced around the house yesterday and this morning. You’re smiling, even now, and when I say ‘Fleur’, ha! There, a twinkle in your eye. Perhaps it is just the sex, but of the many mares you’ve laid, this one has stayed beside you.”

“So far,” I drink a swallow, “but what’s to say she won’t break my heart and bank?”

“Have faith, sir. There’s no reason to worry, she’s a good pony for you. I believe you should give it time and see how it goes.”

I look at my cleared plate and hum. When did I eat it all? It’s been a mere moment’. “I,” I sigh, “I will take your advice, as it seems accurate, yet again. But if it goes teats, up I’m holding you accountable.”

He smiles and uses his hoof to drag the clip board closer to him. “Indeed, now about the rest of your evening plans…”

Grey Withers, you’re the only pony I trust.

Fleur enters the dining room as I’m finishing my meal in silence, Grey Withers having finished and left a few minutes prior. “Good morning, Darling. Sleep well?”

“I did, thank you for letting me sleep in. Have you made any progress with the photographer?”

Ah, straight to the point. “I have sent word out and we’ll know by this evening. Would you like to accompany me through my day, or would you prefer to go shopping?”

She takes a seat opposite me and takes a plate begins to fill it. “I’d like to go shopping and have my mane done. Perhaps some time at a spa is due.”

“When were you last?”

“I, honestly can’t recall. A bath here and there with whomever I was consorting, but I haven’t been in a spa for at least a year.”

“That’s changing today; we’ll both go to the spa this morning, as I need a grooming and horn shave as it is.”

She smiles and eats a white grape. “It sounds like a date.”

“In a way,” I reply smugly.

“I’d be delighted, Fancy. Shall we go once I finish?”

“Of course, Darling,” I reassure her, “no rush. A mare must maintain her figure, right?”

We share a chuckle and then discuss options at my favorite spa.

“Oh, oh my… Eep! Don’t be so rough!”

“I apologize, Miss, but you have qvite a vew knots in your mane and tail.”

“Must you do them both, ah, at the same time?”

“It’s easier and faster zis vay, we’ve only just begun to return you to a noble pony’s beauty.”

I listen from the next room and snicker as my side is brushed gently. The theatrics continue at quite a volume for the duration of her mane and tail smoothing therapy, and the sounds of her whimpers send a tickle in my ears and a smile to my muzzle even as they fade.

“It hurts to move my head and neck at all,” she whines, “my tail feels like it’s been plucked of all the hair, why must you be so mean?”

“Bah, you have no idea vhat pain is. I had one coltfriend who vould tie me down during sex, his kink, not mine.”

A pregnant pause. “Was it good?”

“Sometimes zit vas incredible, others… I couldn’t get free from zee binds while he fulfilled his pleasures et my expense It didn’t last.”

“Oh, I was just wondering. I’ve always been interested in bondage,” Fleur says quietly, yet loud enough. The brushing against my side slows as their conversation continues. “Something about being at the whim of a stallion’s desires and no way to refuse, it sounds erotic. You know, I spent time as mare of the night.”

“Indeed? Do you vish to share vile I begin zee shampoo?”

“Not much to share, to be honest. I ran away from home because I was a confident young mare and the world was but a walnut inn my hoof. Only too soon did I realize I couldn’t make any bits without experience or using my family name. I refused to leave my home city of Canterlot, as it's all I've ever known, so that left few options. I'd stay with friends I'd make and soon I found that ponies would let me stay with them and feed me in trade for sex. Only, it would last but a couple days before they’d get tired of me and move on.

“That is, until I met Fancy Pants,” she sighs, “I prayed for a stallion like him and I have hope, but so far it’s like every other stallion and mare I’ve laid with. I want to have a connection with him and I really want him to have one with me as well. I don’t want to be back on the streets by the weekend.”

Water starts to rush and her beauty mare hums in agreement. “I have heard such stories before, I believe it vill vork out for you in zee end.”

“That’s what mothers tell children they don’t have faith in but also don’t want to hurt their feelings. What do you think?”

“Honestly? In my home country, ve have a saying. ‘You make your own future.’ If you vant to be with him then you have to do eet! Show heem your mettle, your passion, in and out of bed. After all, it's not sex that is important in a relationship or herd, but love too. Can you love him?”

A pause, my groomer has stopped and we’re both listening. “I, feel I could in time.”

“You could become a mayor in time. That’s not the answer you have to give yourself--”

“I do love him,” Fleur interjects quietly. The sounds of shampooing slow and I find myself looking at the partition intently. The brushing resumes lightly but I know my groomer is listening as well.

“Oh, do you now?”

“I felt it last night. It wasn’t the sex in the bath, or before bed. No, it was when he comforted me and held me against him until I fell asleep and then let me sleep in, having a full breakfast ready for me when I awoke. That was when I felt it, because no other pony has ever cared to comfort me, or to show care, since I was a filly.”

“My, my. He sounds nice enough.”

“I can’t let him know,” Fleur tells her spa mare, “because if he rejects me, I have few options. I have bits, but it would take so much to build myself a reputation and hide my past, and it took a day for Fancy Pants to introduce me to Prince Whitemane who said he’d bury my past as a prostitute.”

A silence and only the sound of shampooing. The brushing returns and moves to my back in long strokes. “He sounds like a nice ztallion indeed,” her spa mare says.

“He’s amazing, and I want him to be mine, but I can’t be too fast or it will scare him away.”

“Perhaps, or perhaps it vill vork out eef you just let eet happen. May I suggest zomething, Dear?”

“Of course you may.”

“Stay vith him and let nature take its course. Go at zee pace you both can live vith for the long trek.”

“I suppose I can… will do that. Thank you, miss...?”

“Ah, my name is Flowing Breeze. An honor to make your acquaintance.”

“Likewise, and I appreciate this to be between us, right?”

“On my oath as a spa mare.”

I roll my eyes and look at the mare brushing me. Her eyes are closed tightly as she restrains a laugh. I’m no fool, there is no honor code among spa mares any more than there is honor amongst thieves.

Before too long, I’m properly groomed and have moved on to a hooficure and horn shave. The spa mares here are expert farriers and take no time filing my hooves even from a week of walking on differing streets. I also have my horn shaven a bit, as much as I wish it, I can’t have a spear on my head, lest I look barbaric. Dignity is a must, after all.

I finish and prance to the mane stylist where I walk in on a sordid conversation.

“--thought it was all sex, which is great because he’s skilled, but he’s really sweet and kind--” Fleur stops mid sentence as I enter and blushes as she averts her eyes from my reflection in the mirror. I pretend not to have heard her at all as I prance to an open seat with a spa mare moving to greet me.

“Vilcom,” my, that accent is authoritative, “you sit,” she points a hoof at the cushion and I nod. For an earth pony she’s commanding respect from even me. “I trim, you talk. Yes?”

“Well, I was planning on more of a cathartic-”

“Bah! You rich pony, you talk to Braun about problimz, Braun listen… Clippers,” she shouts over her shoulder and a young colt comes around a corner with scissors in his mouth. I hope to see her swipe them from him, that maybe she'll draw some blood. “Tsank you, leetle vun,” she takes the scissors carefully and moves them to my forelocks.

With deftness, she slips them on her left hoof and uses her right hoof to work the mechanism sending familiar snippet sounds quickly around my head.

“You talk, yes?”

“I haven’t anything to say at the moment.”

“You meet royalty lately?”

“Ah, yes, certainly. Prince Whitemane is a good friend of mine from foalhood. We met over lunch yesterday.”

“Vhitemane? I know of him, mommy’s little prince, dat von, yes? Do not move ears, or I cut zem off!”

A common joke, at times. To be called mommy's little prince is to have been coddled at her teat, dressed, comforted, and kept safe from the world to a blissful ignorance of just that. In truth, he was coddled and treated as such. I'll never share those details though, as he wishes his children to live the life he was denied. Even if they turn out like Prince Blueblood.

At her command, I focus on keeping my ears still. “I have no comment as to his familial life, Braun, but I assure you he is well regardless.”

She moves to my neck and when I move her hoof slips from the scissors and pushes my head to face forward again. “A big baby, rumor says. I has no need to believe zem, nor a care to!” She is so stern, “Vhen Braun was in home country, I vas squad leader in ground troopers. Strongest earth ponies. No mommies, only exercise and training, makes a pony strong,” she glanced once to me I a way that made me believe she could break my horn off and stab me with it before I could cast a spell, “not like weak ponies in Equestria.”

“Now, Braun,” a mare started from outside my view. I dare not look. “We Equestrian ponies might not be as tough as Germaney ponies, but we can hold our own.”

Braun laughs boisterously. “You can hold your own pee until it dribbles down your trembling legs at za first sight of danger.”

“And how is it you believe this to be a fact?” Fleur piped in. I had forgotten she was here, but I’m becoming intimately knowledgeable of the wall I’m facing.

“When Braun first arrives here, I speak little Equestrian but live on southeast coast. I fish, I eat. I work and live. Fight starts, Braun jumps in and all tough ponies fall before her with no effort, colts and fillies alike. After that I move around and fight for money, food, sex, until I find nice pony. Good Mint his name, he teach me to cut hair instead of fight,” she snips once very loudly and puts a hoof firmly under my belly, near my tail...

With an indecipherable jumble of words, I’m on my four hooves and she’s starting my tail with a guttural laugh. “All colts fear for their privates, easy target to win in a fight. Anyway, I move around with him and learn cut hair. I find job here and am best, like when I fight. Now I am happy, live free, have a mate and home.

“You see, rich pony, even mud ponies can be more than they are.” A couple gasps in the room and she waves them off with a snap of her tail. “It is compliment to me, not insult. The earth is hard, strong, giving of life. WIth the blood of our enemies, the mud is enriched with-”

“That is enough!” A mare of authority shouts from the doorway. “I heard you were bragging about yourself again, but under no circumstances are tribalism or death to be discussed.”

A final loud snip and I wince, fearful of anything near my tail being cut. She casually tells me with that authoritative voice. “You are done, rich pony. You look like a million bits, go now. I must fight for my job as I trained to fight for my life.”

I am aghast and without words. This mare is more than any pony I’ve ever come across, and even though I find her interesting, my thoughts are on Fleur and how she’s reacting to this. Looking over I see her and most of the other patrons staring intently at the floor as she stomps out of the room.

If only I could leap over and embrace her, she seems so saddened. “Fleur,” I say, my voice unusually shaky.

“No, it’s okay. I think she needs more time to adjust to Equestrian life.”

I nod once and shake my tail, loosening hairs that were cut but not removed by that harpee.

I must say that the nag was quite good at her job, even if she did bring with her a bout of melancholy that would depress Celestia herself.

I finish and wait in the lobby for Fleur to come out, in the meantime I offer bits to tip our helpers and read a magazine from Cloudsdale. A pegasus stallion wearing stockings and a sultry look is peering at me from an ad that I can’t look away from. Are all pegasi that flexible? Does this stallion have no shame, baring fully polished wings like it’s mating season?

And for what? Bottled water? I do have a thirst, I must admit.

“Fancy Pants? Ah, nice to see you’re still here. How do I look?” Fleur asks. I lower the magazine and then it falls from my magic all together. She’s radiant and resplendent, a pair of wings and she’d rival Princess Celestia’s beauty without a doubt. “I guess that’s a good sign?” she winks to me and motions her horn to the doorway.

Like a colt that just discovered love, I’m at the door and using my hoof to open it for her. “Right after you, my lady,” I smile widely and glance under her tail as she passes. This mare is certainly a model, and if not, she shall be...

I look back to the magazine on the floor and the thought of her wearing stockings and a saddle while biting the bit on her bridle…

Down boy, stay in there… I truly think I’m falling for this mare and part of me hopes to never land.