Prologue: ...Hello? Bipeds read? okay, Plunder tell story.
Dark…
The first feeling I have… is Dark.
The next is moist… not wet… moist, like I was covered in a sponge…
Little by little words enter my mind, but nothing could stop them.
I empty before the words, before the thoughts, like brothers.
As more of my mind was filled, other... sensations, pulsed within me, smell, sound, sight.
I was underground, in the earth itself, fertile soil, felt natural.
I can tell I was plant… then the voice came, like it did to brothers, they followed the task, both blind and dumb.
“Go my little seedlings, find the tree and absorb its magic, use it to free me so that I may plunge the land in chaos.”
I had no purpose other than to feed, but first I believed I needed to grow… plants… half move up, get light, half move down, get water. Need light, move up… find light, grow leaves, sun gives…
New voices, softer.
“What is that, dear sister?”
“We are not sure, Luna, but it came up shortly after Discord planted those seeds.”
Discord? Similar to chaos, so Discord is chaos voice’s name, and one of the voices is Lunar, moon… must see, need to see…
An eye opens, I can see. Strange four-legs, wings, horn, snout, strange… white one feel good, feel like light, leaves turn to light. Move down, take water in roots, grow, feed.
“It seems to like you, Celestia.” the Lunar spoke, the white Celestial huffed.
“It seems so, though we must remain cautious, I will take it back to the castle to keep an eye on and take care of it.”
Take to castle, take to their home, near Celestial. Celestial is light, near Celestial means more light!
“Oh? It seems to like that idea.”
“It may show some sentience, let us test that.”
Something placed next to me, sense clay, see soil inside, soil smell richer, more moist, more water, roots in earth, not in pot, roots look like four-legs’ limbs, can make them grow, move… move. Move!
*rustle* *tear*
… in pot, softer… fresher… sleepy… moving roots hard… need practice...
“This is extraordinary, this could be an amazing scientific…” can’t hear what else… too sleepy…
Look around… see new place, look strange, hole in wall, cave, cave has light in it… rest in light… light good… maybe get closer… might feel safer…
No! I did bad! Light is tree! Touched it, drained it! No! No drain tree! No drain! Light belongs to tree!
Stopped draining… now giving back, feel weaker, but light not mine, light hers… sorry tree… coil stem gently, grow, no thorns, soft hug… tree forgive plant?
Suddenly, brothers rush in! They hurt light! Take light from tree, get angry. ANGRY!
LIGHT BELONGS TO HER! LEAVE HER ALONE!
*snap* *snap* *snap* brothers fall apart, wither, tree is safe, tree glows warmly… gives me light.
Try to refuse, light is hers, but she give anyway… nice… warm… safe…
You are forgiven...
What… who said… everything fade away… it was… dream… nice dream, want to see tree again.
Wake up… feel moist on leaves… no, not moist.. Feel water, water make things wet, damp, moist, moist is a state, not an item, feel more words near, within dead trees… books, made of paper… made of dead trees.
Not issue, trees need be use by four-legs for food and shelter, they aren’t strong like big scary animals, they have plant eating tee-
Plant eating… me plant! ME NO WANT BE EATEN!
No! Stop! *plink* close… almost fell… almost broke new home… me silly, four-legs no eat me, they would not give nice cozy pot for food.
But other things I don’t know, need learn… books for learn, have words for learn, need to grab book for words… must reach.
Reach out limb, limb long, spike-no, not spikey, thorny, plants have thorns, limb not root, not stem, not leaf, limb is Vine, no clue why I grow vine so easily, unsure, what am I?
Celestial returns as I grasp book. “Oh! You seem curious, do you want help?”
Can’t answer, no throat, no way for sound, try to think of way to say yes… yes can mean thumbs, thumb move up, can’t make hand for thumb, make similar, coil vine, leave tip standing over coil like thumb, Celestial four-legs chuckles. “You certainly are smart.” she pulls book out, not with leg, with glowy horn, horn make special light that wraps over book, book floats to me, must open, must learn new words.
Words difficult to see first, but sight get smarter, adjust to words on paper, begin learning the book is titled ‘History of Equestria’ words put on paper by bearded starswirl, sounds like dairy treat of frozen cream.
Equestria, Windigoes, Friendship, Crystal Empire, Four-le-Ponies, Earth Pony, Unicorn, Pegasus, Alicorn, Alicorns are royalty, leaders, Celestial is Princess, Alicorn is Princess Celestial, must be nice, when mad Celestial is scary, might burn me with sun.
“Ah, you seem to be quite the curious creature.” Celestial spoke. “It is enjoyable to see new life learn and grow before us, if you prove to be friendly I will endeavour to teach you our ways, and to grow freely among us ponies, does that sound nice?” give thumbs up, co-existal...co-existence, sound nice, sound safe, sound warm and soft in light, her light, light is safe, light is good, ponies are safe, ponies are good.
“Well then, I must be off for my royal duties, I shall see you tonight.” she waves her forehoof, wave vine, reciprocate, make friends… friendship feels… warm, like light, light is good, friendship is good… Alicorn leaves… see book on plants, strange plants, plants like me.
Look in plants, find what I am… black thorns, made to drain magic, single purpose like brothers…
Plunder Vines… Plunder Vines scary… made by discord, one purpose, stupid, know nothing more, can’t know more. But I smart, not like brothers, get smarter every day, will get smarter every day, smart things need names… names of person or pony…
My name… is Plunder.
Author's Note
hey! new story, don't worry, I ain't gonna stop Orgran's tale just yet, I still have plans.
also for those of you who are wondering, Plunder isn't good with words, and won't be as an artistic choice.
Plunder did good?
yes, Plunder did very good.
then Plunder keep doing good!
Chapter 1: Plunder get smart... I'm getting smarter. (edited)
Moon and sun, two pieces of the sky.
I see sun 9 times, see moon 7 times.
Books call moments where sun or moon out day and night, reseptically, no, wrong word, ree...spek...tif...lee… good enough.
Celestial say I be here one weak, why one weak? Isn’t Plunder strong?
Need book… ooooh, full day-night called 1 day, 7 day make weak… spelled week… Plunder get smarterer every day!
Wait… Plunder don’t think that sounded right… well whatever…
Celestial be very nice to me, help me learn things, like how to talk and what words mean.
Plunder no talk like pony, no have mouth, I talk with magic! Plunder get thorns, put energy, mana, in them, then think really hard about what I want say to pony or ponies.
Oh! Here she comes now!
“Hello Plunder, have you been doing okay while I was gone?”
Yes! Plunder do very good, me read more books and rest by window… sun so warm and nice.
“Well I’m glad you enjoy it.” Celestial giggled, then Lunar appears, not, I smell her before she walk in, she being sneaky looky pony… what was that word again?
“Sister? Are you well?” the blue Alligator replied… wait, wrong word… Alicorn! She Alicorn! Alligator big lizard that breathes fire!
“Oh yes, I was just having a conversation with Plunder here.”
“Sister… that is a plant, a Plunder Vine even, why doth thou continue this fantasy!?”
“I do not fantasize, Luna! Plunder is different, he’s been learning and understanding! He’s even been able to communicate telepathically.”
“Minotaur Manure!”
“TIS NOT A LIE AND WE SHALT PROVE IT! COME HITHER AND SIT BESIDE ME!”
“Sister.”
“NOW!” Lunar Alicorn makes squeaky noise like mouse before listening to Celestial, then stares at me.
...Plunder feels uncomfortable, should Plunder be doing something?
“Go ahead Plunder,” Celestial speaks up, seeing Plunder’s distress… since when did Plunder start talking in third person?
Focus! Oh right! Say something to Lunar… well, Celestial teach Plunder to be honest.
Plunder think the squeaky sound Lunar pony made was cute!
“WHAT IN TARTARUS!?” ow… Plunder’s poor not-real ears… Lunar pony is loud…
“Ow…” oh! Celestial agrees! “Luna, please don’t use the Royal Canterlot Voice, we’re inside.”
“Oh, right, sorry sister, it is just very shocking to see a plant, something that has no brain and merely has the process of grow, pollinate and disperse, can be intelligent enough to speak!”
Plunder, the ‘no brain’ plant, can also hear.
...Lunar pony got cuter, she put hooves to face while face go red… Celestial called it ‘blushing’.
“I know, we are sorry dear Plunder, I shall take more consideration before speaking my thoughts.”
Thank you… ooh! Plunder learn new trick! I looked at book and found new thing Plunder can do!
“Oh?” the Celestial says. “Please show us what you have learnt.”
Okay Plunder… focus… Plunder make mouth things that shoots spores, like they say in the book. Lunar looks scared. “He hath made sporetraps!? Sister, this is incredibly distressing, if your plant can make these he could do… unspeakable things to us while we’re unconscious!” unspeakable? Like what?
“Luna, I am disappointed in you! Assuming Plunder would violate us with this ability! Why would he show us such a thing then!”
“It wouldn’t matter if he showed us or not! And I know the tales! The traps knocking out vulnerable ponies, then the vines perversely taking their holes for some sick method of pleasure and reproduction!”
I thought it could help Lunar pony…
“Huh?” Lunar says, confused by Plunder’s words.
You always stay up during night, sleep during day, books say ponies should sleep other way around, help you sleep at night!
“We… thank you Plunder, but we do not sleep during the night because that is when we work.”
Ooooh… you night owl!
“Night… Owl?”
Pony who works at night, it common.
“It… is?” she has the happy eyes! Plunder do good.
Well… if you no need sleepies, you need hornies?
“I… what!?” both say, confused.
I can make sleepy spores… jokey spores like poison joke, and horny spores!
“Horny…” Celestia stops herself as she blushes. “Wh-why would we need that!?”
Well… Luna do hoof thing in your room. Luna blushes… hey Plunder getting better! And you mumble about rutting her in sleep. Celestia Blushes.
“B-but-” Celestia starts. “We’re sisters! Doing such is… uncouth!”
“Incest!” Luna says, agreeing with Celestia.
So?
“So!? Look, there is no way we’re agreeing with some plant’s misguided assumptions!” Luna says… if Plunder had a mouth Plunder’d be smiling.
Fine… plan B.
“What are you-”
Plunder sneeze, a big sneeze, a sneeze so big it sent a wave of spores to spread all across Equestria.
Also have changey spores.
When Celestia and Luna get back up, they become bipedals, big minotaur boobies on the chests, hands, and best part...
No possible way to hide naughty bits.
“AIEEEEE!” Celestia scream, covering crotch. “Plunder! Change us back right this instant!”
No.
“YOU-”
Not until you admit your feelings for each other.
“I DO NOT-”
Then no change-backs.
“You… YOU…”
Kill Plunder, and you stuck…
It took ten seconds for Celestia to break.
“Alright fine! I want to fuck Luna! Okay!? I love her more than any mare or stallion in the world and has the hottest plot in Equestria! Happy!?”
“...sister?” oh look, Luna heard.
“L-Luna… I-MMPH?!” haha! She got cut off by kiss! I was right!
“Sister.” Luna says, looking her sister in the eyes. “Plunder’s right, we shouldn’t have hidden it for so long, I love you and wish to be with you in every way, more than sisters, more than Diarchs, I’ve wanted to taste your marehood for so long.”
“Luna this is unprofe-”
“I don’t care!” she goes to her knees and treats Celestia’s front hole like a dog treats a feeding dish… oh hey I’m doing metaphors!
And speaking in first person!
Either way, Celestia caves in and eventually they start going at it in a sixty-nine position.
...should I tell them I was bluffing and this was permanent?
...no I don’t want to be kindling, I’ll just say nothing, maybe they’ll forget I mentioned it or decide to stay anthropomorphic…
...I am so dead…
Author's Note
yep, he learns and he surprises, now this is officially an anthro verse with princest!
...well, almost...
