Derpys Treasure Cave

by teamidris

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Derpy Hooves
Length: 1136

Derpy the post mare is very good at her job, but some parcels are simply undeliverable. Each year the town comes together to open all the lost mail.

Every year towns around Equestria have a special event held at their main post office. Now it is Derpys turn to unlock the back room and bring all that underliverable mail out into the sunshine. The rest of the town will help her figure out who the lost parcels are for and where they should go.

Published 2017-05-18 20:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-18 20:00:01 UTC

Derpy's Treasure Cave

There are many ways you might receive a present. It could be Hearths Warming, or maybe your birthday, or perhaps a friend might send a trinket or delicacy from the city? Other than these rare delights the only other way you might get a surprise parcel was via the Post Offices spring clean. And today was Ponyville's turn. . .

Derpy was up bright and early to begin what was going to be a fun day for all. Her first task was to get the lost-post room into some sort of order before everypony arrived for the hunt. She worried that there were more than last year, but last year Ponyville hadn't had a castle. It was now a sort of "wonder of the realm".

In reality Derpy was very diligent in figuring out what mail was for which pony. Only last week she had received a parcel addressed to "Princess of Equestria". It already had the names of Celestia, Luna and Cadance crossed out on the front. It was certainly well travelled and was clearly Twilights. The purple pony had signed for it and opened it with magic from a safe distance.

For Derpy the best bit of the job was seeing the ponies faces when an errant parcel finally met its recipient.

"Yes, my leaf samples from Yakistan," beamed Zecora as she spread the entire contents across a bench outside her home one summers day.

Some parcels defied any such quick fix. But if they smelled like cake supplies, or had a supplier name, then Derpy could ask around to see if anypony was expecting a delivery. Very often this worked and some ponies would even tell Derpy that they were awaiting a delivery.

Sometimes the connection could not be made and any such mail was slipped into the shute of the "undeliverables" store room. There was no point sending them back to head office. They simply had a bigger room and even less chance of it being delivered. It was in this room that she now stood and in a few hours it would be empty.

Derpy began by moving the contents into separate piles of: small parcels, large parcels, lightweight boxes and heavy envelopes. Then she created an extra pile of things that looked exciting. These would likely be for foals and they would be the first to get bored and wander off.

When the mail mare finally made it to the front door a sizeable crowd had already formed. There were the regular smiling faces, plus a grumpy donkey and a lot of ponies from the outer farms who were normally only seen on market day. Derpy held up the first parcel which had garish green wrapping. "Little wheels," asked the grey Pegasus, pulling the packaging aside.

Everypony turned to look at Scootaloo, who tentatively took the package from Derpy and rummaged around inside finding a note. "Thank you for your excellent radical letter. You won third prize in this months competition and as such your easy-glide wheels from radical-rodeo are contained within." Scootaloo beamed while Miss Cheerilee wore a look of total amazement that writing and Scoots were now permanently connected.

Another surprise was a carrot catalogue for Angel addressed; "Angel Bony, Forrest, Purney Vile". Fluttershy gasped and said she would take it to him and would also report back on how the animals had managed to place the order in the first place?

Farm catalogues and samples also formed the majority of AppleJacks hoard. She was carefully opening small parcels and envelopes to identify free seed samples. Despite her cutie mark being Apples, her knowledge of seeds in general was good and she soon had them marked up. She passed some daffodil bulbs to Zecora.

"These bulbs ain't got no home to grow, so in darkest woodland they'll give a show," grinned AJ

Derpy rummaged around for the next item. "The label has been torn and there is no other information. It's really heavy though," she said as she dragged it out while flapping her wings to help.

Twilight studied it carefully. It was heavy oak chest with brass bands and hinges. Lifting the lid she could see that there was a piston with a flat disk on top, plus a smart brass pressure gauge and a hoof wheel.

"Industrial rather than scientific," she announced with a grin. "I shall post it to the Canterlot Chamber of commerce. They will be able to find it a good home."

Derpy passed her a label so she could fill in the new delivery address.

There were a few badly addressed samples for Mrs Cake to decode including some very pretty sugar flowers. Everypony agreed that any iced cake would look extra enticing with a few sprinkled on. Mr Cake borrowed a quill and filled in the enclosed order form to order more while the twins fought mum's grasp to get to the treats.

With the parcels out of the way it was time to start on the letters. Lyra passed one to Lotus Blossom, "Your Dad says his eye sight is getting worse, but I guess we can tell that by the address," she winked.

By ten o'clock most post had been sorted and half the ponies had made their excuses and left. Only town officials, princesses and the determined remained. Twilight had already said she would stay to the end so that any lost letters could be opened and witnessed by a Canterlot official.

In reality they comprised entirely of letters from ponies who had simply popped letters in the post box without checking they had filled the address out correctly. The address was partially right and the name inside sounded right, but the two didn't match.

The final item of the day and possibly the most exciting was the magic present parcel. This was tradition in all the towns which involved a nationwide game of 'pass the parcel'. You had to send the parcel on with new contents to a town not already on the list inside. But naming the next town was too simple. The idea was to make up a town name and hope it went somewhere interesting.

The address this time had been moanyville and it contained paper flowers from Shrilshire. In turn they had received it because it had been addressed to the 'good ponies of Crillspire'. They would let the school foals decide what the next address and contents should be....

The room was now completely empty. Picking up a broom the Post Mare gave it good sweeping. Admiring her work Derpy closed the heavy door, turned the rusty old key in the lock and placed it back in the draw.

The End

Author's Note

Obabscribbler laughed at the title and said I should stick with it :o)