I Get the Feeling You're not Taking Me Seriously
Author's Note
This fic isn't to prove I'm still alive, just more of me trying to get back into writing.
I mean, I had fun writing this regardless.
But I do apologize for the use of Angel's improper British English. Not used to the slang myself, obviously.
I Get the Feeling You're not Taking Me Seriously
Oi, you stupid git. You try'na kill me with a lack of food now, huh? I'm starvin' 'ere! The cute little bunny, huffily stomps his foot as he says; the buttery pegasus' whom he was talking at merely smiling in return.
"Aww, who's a cuwte wittle bunny. Don't worry Angel, I know your wittle-tiny tummy is full from last night. I'll make sure to feed you just a teensie-weensie bit less, so you don't get the achy-wakies." Her baby way of communicating with him proceeds to infuriate Angel just the slightest bit more.
No, you trollop! More food! More! Don't ya claim to be some animal linguist? Can't you tell I'm practically bloody dyin' 'ere?! My 'tummy-wummy' is chatterin' nonsensicals at me! If Thumper was his ancestor, he was surely proud of Angel's constant foot-thumpery. The little bunny continues to glower at his owner in hopes she'd realize he needs to eat.
Alas, it was not to be.
"Don't you worry your pwetty wittle head, Angel. Mama can hear your tummy's pain-grumbles, I'll make sure to get you the extra big tummy pain pill. Just give me a moment-"
CATCHPHRASE!
The sudden crashing noise startles both entities in the cottage, Angel's attention immediately swapping from his constant hunger to the mystery sound outside. Fluttershy quickly gallops to her back-view window (wings pretty much feeling useless poor wings) to get a view of whatever had landed outside.
"Rainbow Dash?" She questions her first assumption aloud.
Angel does some bunny parkour, climbing up the backside of Fluttershy while using her tail for support, to get an actual view of their backyard. It did not look pretty.
There, in the crater of the once placed hen-house; said hens relatively unharmed, chickens doing chicken things elsewhere, lie a large, pink monstrosity of the likes neither of them have either seen. Of course, Fluttershy's response is-
"I'm gonna pet it."
Opening the window, hopping over the sill while practically dragging Angel along (still without the help or use of her wings, mind you), she goes over to the unidentified falling creature. The bunny on her back definitely does not approve of the action; Fluttershy's attention swooping over to the thing in an instant like that. He tugs on her mane to no avail.
Hey, I wouldn' go near that thing, love. Seems a li'l dodgy if you ask me. He tries to warn her, but of course, the liar doesn't actually speak to animals. He tries to swat at the back of her head, but to her it only feels like a tiny pat. How demeaning. Angel only watches in dreadful silence, his paw frozen in another swipe as Fluttershy's hoof reaches out to oh so sensually pet the oddly reflective beast.
Boop.
A resounding thud; a clank of sorts shouts back at her in response. The hairs on the back of Fluttershy's neck (of which, there are many—she's a friggen horse) stand on end as she backs away, stuttering slowly. "N-not natural..." As she trails off, Angel swiftly bunny-flips forward off of her back, ready to one vee one the beast that dare hurt his (albeit abusive) master.
He throws a punch, a swift kick. An upper cut to the plating!
And it all does literally nothing, just tiny pinks and panks sound from his little rage against the machine.
---
Fluttershy doesn't bother to turn back as she races away from her cottage, she knows very well Angel can handle himself in most situations. For now though, she has to report this horrible horrible—thing to Twilight!
---
You wanna huff huff give up, you-you wanker. I got huff more where that came from! With a final cry and thrust of his tiny little paw, a different sound emanates from the beast. Perhaps of defeat?
D.Va online!
Perhaps not.
Wiping away the sweat gathered at his bunny-brow, he raises a questioning glance at where he realized the front of the beast lay, on the exact opposite side of which Fluttershy and he had previously encountered. Angel briefly facepaw-lms before rushing to the other side. A green, transparent glass shows him an internal area of whatever he'd fought. Lights and buttons, oh so many buttons, look back at him practically screaming oh touch me, Angel-senpai.
This wasn't some filthy animal, no.
This was a Celestia-damned machine.
And Angel's grin finally appeared that day.
Scurrying to a single opening, barely under what appears to be an arm for equine-use, Angel finds himself amidst an amalgamation of his wildest dreams. Granted, his wildest dreams are limited to his rabbit brain being so small, but still. Both paws barely wrapped around one of the two joy-sticks, Angel pulls. He pulls with all of his tiny might.
And something changes.
The green, once transparent glass, seemingly vanishes, but he knows it's still there. Some things whir by across it, flashing too fast for his rabbit eyes to see, and then the voice—the voice from before returns.
M.E.K.A. Activated, Nerf This!
New user engaged! Training mode preferred, but not required!
Oi, whoever this lass is, reminds me of that crazy pink minger. Always so excitable, calm down a bit. Will ya? Angel says to himself, searching for the owner of the voice with no luck. Giving up, he turns back to the almost invisible screen, the words "YES" or "NO" appearing just below a question.
Would I like to initiate the training sequence? Training for what? He merely shakes his head and without pondering any further, pulls himself upward in a hop and quickly smacks "YES".
One moment; locating nearby suitable M.E.K.A. training grounds...
No suitable locations have been found, initiating simulation in current area. Accidents or injuries that occur during simulation are to be treated immediately!
With a jolt, the machine Angel found himself in came to life, standing up on its own accord, of course, frightening the rabbit for only a moment. The invisible screen glared and flashed several colors of green before finally settling, and in its place, a voxel landscape forms: the exact current area the machine had landed.
Including Fluttershy's home.
But Angel didn't know that, everything was white and green and made of cubes.
