Shadow Dagger

I am nothing more than an enigma.

I am a shadow cast by a shadow.

I am a loyal dog, beaten into submission, acting mindlessly because my life depends on it.

I follow orders; nothing more, nothing less.

I have no opinion or choice.

And I sound a little too dramatic…

_-_-_

Let me start at the very beginning.

I was born…

…to a mother and father who were both unicorns, as am I…

…with a grey coat and mane, orange eyes and highlights that stand out against the grey…

…to a mother who named me Cinder, but has never called me by that name…

…into Ponyville, a town that would remain my home until I was ten…

…into a world where everyone is fooled into believing in peace.

When I was a filly of ten, I got my cutie mark. I discovered my talent while playing a game of hide and seek with my friends. The first few games I stood behind a tree, and was easily concealed into the shadows. By the third game, and me winning both the others, I decided to test my ability. I stood in the middle of an open space between trees yet still in the shadow of them. My friends moved all around me, but never noticed me.

When I moved out of the shadow, they didn’t notice. Then I snuck up on them and screamed, scaring them all. After another day of testing my skill, I came to know it as my special talent and received a cutie mark of a black dagger.

Most families will celebrate when a foal gets their mark, but mine did not. They asked me what it meant, and when I told them, my father got a sly look in his eye. He was once part of Cilestia’s guards, and knew things that most ponies didn’t, and had the connections to make things happen.

My parents were never kind and caring. We never had any money, and it was no surprise that they abandoned me for food. Some could consider it an act of love… giving me a better life, being raised by a princess, but I would have been happier if I had been ignored.

I was sold to Celestia because of my abilities… and then I went through hell…

_-_-_

Not everything can be done with diplomacy, and someone has to get their hands dirty. Unfortunately that person is me.

For the next four years after being sold to Celestia, I was trained in the art of killing. Deception, stealth, and combat came naturally, and I was never forced to train. I was treated well if I did what I was told, so I followed orders.

In four years, I was a master of assassination, and at fourteen, I had finally realized what my talent could do. With my morals in place, I refused to ever train again, and with my refusal came a world of pain that I had never needed to experience.

I refused, and was given three strikes. After those strikes, I was tortured. I bled my life away, brought close to death, pulled back. I died several times, was rehabilitated by Celestia, and tortured again. When I broke, the torture continued until I agreed to a curse that would keep me from ever disobeying Celestia. This was a strange curse, the pony being cursed must agree to it, but then it can never be removed and has no repercussions to the caster. It also causes the bearer to never age past the time it is cast.

I hate Celestia for this curse and for using me to do her dirty work.

_-_-_

I am trapped in this place, any command that is given, I am forced to complete. My friends and family are gone, and I am alone, broken, and left to my guilt. I was given the order to never kill myself or commit murder without the princess’s permission, so I am stuck here.

I am dead inside; I am a mean, cruel, sarcastic pony; mechanisms I have enabled to deal with the guilt of killing. At fifteen, after the curse was placed, I began ‘working’ and have been ‘working’ for two years. After the first year, I killed twenty three. When Luna came back, I received a little more work. I killed forty last year.

Celestia has been… I don’t have a word for it. Evil, kind, cruel, honest, brutal, motherly, and every other thing a pony can be. She has a switch she flips and she can change personality. Most of the time she acts kind, but sometimes she will beat me for no reason, much like an abusive parent. She does whatever she wants to.

The law? She is the law… I am her plaything.

My life isn’t all bad. My life in the castle is wonderful. The only pony with any power over me is Celestia, and everypony else lives in fear of me, except for Lily; without Lily, I really would go insane.

I could have anything I want, but I don’t take advantage of it. I view myself as only a member of the military, known as Shadow, short for Shadow Dagger. My real name is never used, not since I received my curse… the code name sounds stupid in my opinion.

I am Celestia’s most trusted guard, and am by her side most of the time, seen or unseen. I am her’s, to be ordered around, and I have no say in the actions directed of me. The only one who can order me is Celestia though, so it is not as bad as it could be.

I hate myself and my life. I have no control. It is a terrible life that no pony should have…

Guilt.

When you see an intelligent being’s life fade, because of you, there is no getting it out of your head, for as long as you live, no matter how hard you try. You will never forget those you have killed.

_-_-_

But that is enough feeling sorry for myself. I will continue to kill, because I have to, hoping to wake from this nightmare.