Events At The Deja Club

by yodajax10

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Comedy, Crossover, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1683

How will things go between three lords of Chaos sitting together?

Takes place during "The Return Of Harmony" and "Keep Calm And Flutter On".

After being freed from his stone prison and taking over Equestria once again, Discord decides to back to old times as he reunites with two old friends, Aku and Bill Cipher. But how will things go after being away for quite some time?

Cover art is NOT mine.

Published 2017-05-22 11:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-22 11:20:01 UTC

Events At The Deja Club

"Oh, my stomach!" Discord laughed. He turned to a gray-colored Twilight Sparkle, with her head low and a cotton candy cloud with chocolate raining upon her. Discord had successfully turned Twilight's friends against her, but despite his victory, it didn't hurt to check on his enemy.

"Twilight! You've got to see what I just did!" Discord looked upon a pony who was being poured pepper onto by a giant, floating pepper shaker.

"Ah-choo!"

As the pony sneezed, numerous houses fell over like billboards!

"It's priceless!" Discord laughed again. But he took notice of Twilight's unhappy mood. He poofed in front of her and removed the cotton candy cloud from above her.

"Come now, Twilight Sparkle. You've got to get into the spirit of things!" Discord licked the cotton candy cloud. "After all, this is your new home."

Twilight sadly turned around and saw Ponyville still being new and improved by the master of Chaos. She then sadly walked towards her house. "Not anymore." She spoke in a depressed and defeated tone.

As Twilight walked away, Discord grinned wildly. "YES!!!!" Discord threw his head back and laughed in victory.

Beep-beep!

"Huh?" Discord stopped laughing and looked at his lion-arm wrist-watch. Both of his eyes widened as his grin grew so big, it might as well just fall off his face...in fact it almost did. "Can it be?" His watch was beeping 15:00 AM.

"It is!" Discord jumped in the air with glee. "Oh, I haven't been there in ages! I have so much catching up to do!" He immediately flew into the sky. "I do hope they haven't forgotten me!"

Meanwhile, in a surreal and dark dimension, appeared the Deja Club, where some of the most disgusting, despicable creatures in all of the universes...really just came to chill and relax. And two of these creatures were a triangle-shaped demon with one eye, known as Bill Cipher, and a large black demon with flaming eyes and a white and green face known as Aku. Suddenly, a green monster waitress walked up to them.

"Hello, you two!" She spoke in a cheerful tone. "I'm Kathy, I'll be your server! What can I getcha?"

"Hmm," Bill looked at his menu raising his eyebrow. "We're in the mood for deer tonight. Give us the Bambi's Mom special. Oh! Oh! And with dipping blood!"

"Oh, you two sure sound hungry!" Kathy grinned at the two demons. "I'll get that for you as soon as I can!"

"Well, be quick!" Bill spoke slyly as he pulled a whip from behind his back and used it on Kathy's bottom.

"Oh!" Kathy chuckled. "You sly devils!"

Bill snickered as Kathy left. "Ah, I'm always good with the babes. How about you, Aku?"

Bill looked at Aku, who was resting his head on his arm with an annoyed look on his face. He could only grumble to Bill's comment.

"Aku?" Bill asked in concern. Suddenly, realization hit him. "Oh!" Bill leaned over to Aku and started poking him in a teasing fashion. "Don't tell me you're still sore over another defeat of that stupid samurai!"

Aku growled and clenched his fists.

"Uh-oh!" Bill teased. "Someone's getting a little testy!" He then hopped on the table and took out a knife. "I am the Samurai! and I will now strike thee! Right? Right?" Bill began poking Aku with the knife, getting him more irritated. "Rightrightrightrightrightright?"

Aku stood and raised his arm. "SILENCE, YOU FOUL TRIANGLE!!!!" He then shot a fireball from his arm and aimed for Bill, but missed as Bill ducked, leaving a huge hole in the wall and destroying half of a customer's body. Bill got up in shock.

"Wha...wha..." Bill stuttered. "You...you SPILLED MY DRINK!!!" He threw his glass on the ground in fury.

"Yes, I did!" Aku grinned. "What are you going to DO about it?"

Bill grew to an enormous size as his yellow skin turned to red. "OH, SO IT'S THAT KIND OF GAME, HUH?"

"SO IT IS!!!" Aku grew to Bill's size.

"HA! I CAN GROW BIGGER THAN YOU!" Bill grew a few inches taller.

"TRY ME!" Aku grew bigger.

"Hey, hey!" An octopus-like bartender snapped at the two demons. "No changing sizes in my club!"

Bill and Aku grumbled as they changed to their regular sizes.

"Stupid bartender..." Bill muttered.

"Something dreadful should happen to him." Aku tapped his finger on the table.

"Like turning his body inside out?" Bill looked up.

"Or setting his skin on fire?" Aku grinned in excitement.

"Or giving him immortality but do things to make him bleed constantly since he can't die!" Bill stood up.

Aku was in complete shock as Bill covered his mouth...wherever that was. In about a couple seconds, Bill and Aku started to giggle, before both breaking into a fit of laughs.

"Oh, Bill!" Aku wiped a tear. "You always know how to brighten my day."

"Ah, you know I try!" Aku playfully elbowed his fellow demon.

"One Bambi's Mom special!" Kathy appeared before them with four large deer legs on a large, silver plate with bright, red dipping blood on the side.

"Ooh, yes!" Aku licked his chops as he shape-shifted into a lion. "I am starving!"

"Let's dig in, shall we?" Bill asked as he grabbed his own leg.

"I do hope you saved one for me." A voice spoke.

Bill and Aku turned and saw a figure in a black cloak walk up to them.

"Who are you, stranger?" Aku raised an eyebrow.

"Boys, I'm heartbroken." The figure chuckled as he removed his hood. "Don't tell me you've forgotten about me!"

"Discord?!" Bill and Aku both spoke, surprised.

Discord hopped out of his cloak, revealing himself in a technicolor suit. "In living color!" Discord laughed.

"Discord, my man!" Bill said. "We haven't seen you since maybe, oh, 6000 years or something!"

"Well, I was a bit...side-tracked on things." Discord snapped his fingers, poofing up a chair to sit with Bill and Aku. "But I'm back to my old business! Still causing chaos and havoc wherever I please."

"Like what, exactly?" Aku asked. "Tell us, Discord!"

"Well," Discord spoke. "It's sort of along the lines of BRAINWASHING good friends and making them hate each other!" He chuckled. "You really should've seen it, it got nasty!"

"Impressive," Bill munched on his leg. "Wait 'till you hear what I did! I invaded this kid's dream, where I took his dead grandparents and performed a puppet show with the corpses!" Bill laughed like crazy as Discord was left speechless.

Discord cleared his throat. "Well, yes. That is something!"

Bill stopped laughing. "Wait..." Bill floated in front of Discord. "Why are you surprised by that? Don't tell me you're getting soft."

"Soft?" Discord laughed. "I don't know what you're talking about. Out of the three of us, I couldn't help notice you looked a bit soft." Discord began to fluff up Bill like a pillow as feathers flew out of him.

"You're too funny." Bill flew from Discord's claws. "Tell you what. I'll make a deal. If you can't prove you're not as soft as you say you are, you..." Bill thought for a second and his eye brightened. "You owe me 100 pizzas!"

Discord's eyes widened.

"And you have to pay...for ALL of them!" Bill got in Discord's face in a demonic tone as fire formed in his eye. "So...what do you say?" Bill asked, as he changed to normal.

Discord scoffed. "Oh, please. Like THAT'S ever going to happen. It's a deal!"

Bill's hand caught on blue fire as he and Discord shook hands/claws.

Two years later...

Discord walked up to Princess Celestia and bowed before her. "Yes, princess. I'm ready to use my magic for good instead of evil...most of the time." He grumbled the last part under his breath.

"Congratulations on your success, ponies." Celestia smiled at the Mane Six. "I definitely sense a big change in Discord."

Celestia then leaned to Twilight. "I'll leave the Elements Of Harmony with you, Twilight...just in case."

As Twilight nodded to Celestia, Discord's eyes widened. He certainly didn't forget that Celestia cast a spell on the Elements so he couldn't take them again!

"You were right." Twilight walked over to Fluttershy. "When you said Fluttershy would be the one to find the way to reform Discord. By treating Discord as a friend, she got him to realize that friendship was actually important to him, and something that once he had, he didn't wanna lose."

Fluttershy walked up to Discord. "Go on," She grinned. "Say it..."

"Uh...alright." Discord quickly spoke. "Friendship is magic!"

Fluttershy smiled and held Discord's paw. "See, he can be a real sweetheart once you get to know him!" Everypony else turned away in concern and sheepishness.

All of a sudden, Discord heard some ringing. "Oh, excuse me, Fluttershy!" Discord spoke. "I gotta take this."

Discord flew over to a nearby tree and pulled out his open phone. He then closed it and put it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, Discord, old buddy!"

Discord's eyes widened. "...Bill?...Wha...how did you-?!"

"Ah, you know me! Just stalking you!" Bill's voice laughed. "And I know you've changed! So, for my pizzas, I would like Pepperoni, fish, waffles, fries, chocolate, severed legs..."

As Bill kept naming toppings, Discord was close to breaking his phone in anger.

"Discord?"

Discord turned and saw Princess Luna fly up to him. "I'm sorry I'm late, I did not get a chance to welcome you to Equestria."

Discord turned to his phone. "Uh...excuse me Bill." Discord put his phone away and turned to Luna.

"Yes, well, now that we're on good terms," Discord spoke. "May I throw in a little suggestion for your dreamwalking?"

Luna thought for a second and shrugged. "I suppose so."

Discord then whispered in Luna's ear.

"You know him?" Luna asked.

Discord nodded and whispered again.

"Where do you want me to put it?" Luna raised an eyebrow.

Discord whispered one last time.

Luna smirked. "Discord, I think I'm going to enjoy having you around."

"Well, I'm glad." Discord slyly grinned.

THE END