The Strabismus Stricken Post Pony's Posterior

by Bathspounge

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Romance, Original Character, Porn, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fetish, Comedy, Derpy Hooves
Length: 1041

Bathspounge has hyper sex with Derpy Hooves and her massive ass.

Derpy comes to Bathspounge's house to deliver mail, but her real intentions are much more lewd.

This story is very much in my style of referential and wordplay-based comedy and highly fetishistic sex scenes, so you know what you're in for.

Triggers: hyper, cumflation, ass worship, puns (but no super-obvious ones)

Published 2017-05-22 10:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-22 10:10:01 UTC

Chapter 1/1: Assass Ass Assass

The sun hung lazily in the sky, like a glow-in-the-dark sun hangs alongside its fellow celestial bodies on my seven year old self's ceiling. But Celestia is not in this fic, sorry for the inconvenience. My original character, Bathspounge, is laying about like a sleeping lion, but just the sleeping part. He's a generally thin pegasus with Rarity's color palette, and a giant cock. He wears a black beret.

Bathspounge suddenly stands up, his large and floppy genitals swinging underneath him because they have the property of inertia, smacking into his thighs. It knocks him off balance, but he avoids Freudian slipping and stays upright. "Egads!" he yells "it's almost time for Derpy to deliver the mail, that time being nine-o-cock." He chuckles to himself as he walks to the front door. He checks the peep-hole and sees nothing. Being as that's unusual, he opens the door.

Derpy's enormous fucking ass was pressed up against the door, and as the door leaves her ass expands to fill the space behind her. Derpy's butt is about as big as a small refrigerator, or a large version of anything else. Being as it's wider than she is tall, it easy squishes against both sides of the doorframe, and almost a third. The doorframe pinches her cutie marks, and holds her snugly in the perfect position for sex, that being her normal posture.

Bathspounge climbs his forlegs up Derpy's analpines and lays his hips against her. Her giant butt easily accepts this usual visitor. "Good morning Derpy," Bathspounge says, "do I have any mail today?"

She turns her head 75 degrees towards him, which is about as much as it can comfortably turn, and holds out an envelope pinched between her teeth.

"Thanks!" he says before taking the letter with his own mouth and throwing it behind him before returning to what's behind her, her behind. Bathspounge has already gotten a boner, it's not hard when Derpy's around. He slides his cock into her like a bowling ball flying down a bowling lane, only proportionally thicker, more like the bolder scene from Indiana Jones. Indiana Boners and the Temple of Poon. Derpy's butt cheeks are being pushed together by the doorframe, and before his penis even enters her vagina it's pushing between them. It's a foot long tunnel of tight and incredibly soft pony-butt.

Derpy's ass is in the way (like always) of Bathspounge seeing it, but there is most certainly a bulge in her lower abdomen, an exclusively penis-shaped bulge under her belly. Bathspounge starts thrusting into her, each push working a little more of his big penis into her even bigger ass. Derpy doesn't have to do much in order to give him a good time: just standing there would have done it, but every little time she twitches her spine it's magnified by her butt into giant ripples coursing across it. And Bathspounge can feel each one crashing against either his cock, or around his hips that are thoroughly sunk into her now cushiony in both form and function ass.

The normal ahego formula includes crossed eyes, but Derpy’s eyes are always like that. Probably because everything from the breeze to the jiggles caused by her steps turns her on, or she has strabismus. Derpy’s already half-ahego face is now full ahego (or is it one-and-a-half?) as Bathspounge goes balls-deep in her. His cockhead strains against the front of her chest, stretching a nice bowling-ball sized bulge out of it. His also bowling-ball-esque testicles are resting nicely against the bottom half of Derpy’s ass, the only thing that could actually make those balls look small.

Now that she's been properly stretched out, they can really start fucking. Bathspounge pulls about a foot of his penis out before pushing it back in. Derpy’s butt is constantly jiggling, but does so more vigorously at each extreme of this process. Then, in the next half-second, they do it all over again. Derpy wiggles her butt, which turns the already incredibly lively jiggling into over-drive: it slaps together again and again around Bathspounge’s cock and against the walls, making a clapping sound that would be totally foreign to a species without palms. But such a sound is commonplace to these two, as well as the neighbors who are often voyeurs benefactors. Bathspounge’s legs become weaker and weaker as he climbs to plateau, but Derpy and the doorframe are strong enough to support a second fatass. The first fat ass’a cheeks reconnect around his back, and he loses track of time into the absolutely massive thing. His consciousness is swallowed up like his lower body.

Bathspounge’s orgasm lights his brain on fire, and he's pulled back to the world of the physical. His cock flexes, not throbs, flexes, as it pumps gallons of cum into her. Derpy’s ass is stretched a little wider as Bathspounge’s urethra dilates, but that's nothing compared to how much the cum itself stretches her. Her ass gets even bigger as she's filled with cum, but it doesn't take long before the cum starts showing elsewhere: mainly in an enormous, round belly. She easily fills each corner of the doorframe with just her ass, not to mention the full belly she's rested her forelegs on. Her ass is no longer squishy like before, it's firm and packed to the brim with more cum than can fit inside it.

Derpy’s butt is pretty good at absorbing cum, and she reduces it to enough to fly away and continue her mail-route in only a few minutes.

•••

Two hours later, as Bathspounge is writing a response to the fan letter he got in the first act, he's disrupted by a knock at the door. He grumbles like when he's told to put on a condom and walks to the door. He slams it open.

Standing in the doorway, facing forward now, is Derpy. Even from the front it's obvious she's metabolized all that cum into another few inches of ass in each direction. Between the top and bottom of her flirty grin she holds another letter addressed to Bathspounge. She winks with the eye pointed towards Bathspounge’s face, while keeping the one fixed on his cock wide open.