Always Have an Umbrella Nearby
"Spike, can you get the mail?" Twilight asked from her throne, nose deep in a book. Spike jumped off of his respective one with a nod.
"Sure thing. Do I have to check all the quills afterwards?"
Twilight nodded. "Yes, Spike. I have some duties of my own to get started on, too."
"Alright," Spike responded as he walked to the front of the castle, opening up the door and going to the mailbox. He took out the all-too-typical big stack and carried it with both of his claws. As he entered, he put it all on the cutie map, panting.
"Man, this is heavier than usual! Did you order something, Twilight?"
Twilight shook her head, levitating the mail. "No... but I get what you mean..." She said, looking through the letters. She soon came across one that was super sparkly, gold, and glittery. Twilight blinked as she set all the other letters down to look at it.
"Who's it from, Twilight?"
"It's... the King of Llamaland?" She read, a smile instantly breaking out on her face. "Llamaland!"
Spike cocked his head. "What's that?"
"Oh, it's only the place where the llamas live! I completely forgot it existed!" She admitted, opening the letter. As soon as she did, glitter fell all over the cutie map.
"I guess that's why it's so heavy..." Spike commented. Twilight stared at the pile of glitter for a minute before levitating it all off the table. She giggled. "Well, this king sure knows how to have a good time! Spike, can you get me a bag to put this in? Pinkie Pie will appreciate some extra glitter."
Spike nodded and walked away. "Alright, I'll be back," he said, walking out of the room. Twilight took the letter out, which was also very colorful and cheery. She read the text and gasped.
"Spike! Hurry up!" She called.
"Hold on! I'm trying to find a bag!" He replied. After a short moment, he was running back into the room with a bag. Twilight dropped the glitter into it before continuing.
"The King wants to come visit me soon! Isn't that awesome?!"
Spike cocked his head. "Sure, but why are you so excited? You frequently meet with leaders!"
Twilight raised her head. "Spike, this isn't like any other meeting or trade deal I've ever been to! I don't know anything about the llamas! I don't know their culture, famous figures, resources, or anything! Heck, I don't even know if Princess Celestia has met them!"
Spike raised a brow. "She probably has. She's been alive for a super long time, after all."
Twilight thought. "Maybe. She's never told me about it, though."
Spike thought. "I wonder why. She tells you everything."
Twilight nodded. "Yeah. But, now's not the time to worry about that! I have a letter to write, and you have a bag of glitter to get to Pinkie!"
Spike nodded. "Alright! Do I still have to check the quills when I come back?"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Yes, Spike."
"Spike, is everything ready?!" Twilight called, her coat shining and her mane straightened for her visitor. Spike nodded.
"Yep, everything looks crystal clear!" Spike took a moment to giggle. "Heh, get it?"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Sure, Spike. And good! We want to make the best possible impression on our guest!"
Spike nodded. "I figured you'd say that. But, don't worry; everything's perfect, and I even put some snacks in the conference room."
Twilight gasped. "Wait... what if he brings some cultural snacks?! I can't wait to try them!"
Spike snorted. "Hopefully they'll be different from the Yaks' food."
Twilight shuddered. "Yes, hopefully. But I'll be nice no matter what. I don't want him to never visit again, after all."
Spike nodded. "Alright, I get it. But don't burn your tongue off please."
"Don't worry about me, Spike. He's a llama, and they are said to have more sensitive taste buds than ponies. I'm sure it'll be fine. After all, how bad can he be?"
As soon as she finished that statement, knocks came from the door. Twilight gasped.
"Oh, it's him, it's him!" She exclaimed, bouncing on her hooves. She eagerly bounced to the door and opened it, putting on a cordial smile. As she opened it, she immediately saw her visitor: a large, fluffy, white llama with a brown stripe running down his back. Twilight met his blue eyes and was instantly met with a bright smile. She took a breath before speaking.
"Hello, I'm-"
"Princess Twilight Sparkle! I know already!" He exclaimed, pulling her into a small hug with his stubby hooves. He drew apart from her. "Oh, I'm King Asher of Llamaland! It's so good to finally meet you!" He withdrew from her, Twilight flashing him a nice look.
"Oh, nice to meet you, King Asher! Why don't you come in?"
Asher walked by her, two guards following behind him. "Oh, please just call me Asher! And I suppose I can just call you Twilight?"
Twilight blinked before nodding. "Yep! I'll much prefer that, actually."
Asher smiled. "Alright, then! Do you have a conference room or someplace comfortable we can sit down and talk? I mean, I assume I'll be here a while!"
As he spoke, he did what Twilight knew llamas have a reputation for: spit. Twilight cringed, trying to wipe off her face but not seem rude at the same time. "Um... yeah! There are some snacks there, too."
Asher clapped his hooves. "Great!" He looked to his guards. "You guys can go sit in the carriage. I'm pretty positive there's still a lot of candy in the box by my seat you can munch on. Wait..." He thought for a second before his eyes widened. "Ivan!"
Another guard poked his head up from the carriage outside. "Yes, your highness?"
Asher walked closer to the door. "Do we have any gum in there?"
Ivan looked for a second and shook his head. Asher stomped.
"Darn! Alright, Ivan, go to the stores here and ask if they have Super Chewy Super Good Llama Gum. Be quick!"
Ivan nodded, stepping out of the chariot. "Yes, your highness," he said, making his way to the nearest store. The other guards left and Asher shut the door behind them. Twilight's wings twitched.
"Um... sorry to say, but this is Ponyville. We don't have llama gum."
Asher shrugged. "No harm in checking, right?" He then looked down and saw Spike, his ears perking up.
"Hey! What are you doing out of the dragon lands? And where are your wings?" Asher asked, Spike taking a step back to avoid the incoming spit. Twilight giggled.
"Oh, he doesn't live in the dragon lands! He's my trusty assistant, Spike!"
Asher gasped. "Ooh! Hello there, Spike! Hey, can I call you Spikey? It fits you!"
Spike touched his claws together. "Um... actually, Twi... I just remembered that Rarity needed help finding gems today. See you two!"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Alright. Just try to be back for dinner!"
Spike nodded, stepping outside in a hurry. "Yep!" He replied, shutting it behind him. Asher slouched.
"Aww, he seemed like a cool guy. I wanted to talk to him more."
Twilight giggled. "Yeah, he's nice."
Asher gasped as the two started walking. "Wait... I saw him blush when he said Rarity's name! Maybe he has a crush on whoever that is! That's so cute!"
Twilight's wings twitched. "Um... well, that's his own business, isn't it?"
Asher loudly laughed. "I assume so, but I always love knowing these things! I know every single one of my subjects and every single detail about their lives!"
Twilight opened the door to the conference room, thinking. "That's... a little creepy, but I guess I just see it that way because it's different from my lifestyle."
Asher closed the door, trotting in. "Oh, no one minds it in Llamaland! They say I'm a great therapist so they tell me everything!" He sat down and took a grape from a bowl. He smiled. "This is one high quality grape, Twilight!"
Twilight sat across from him. "Well, I'm glad you think so!"
Asher ate about ten more in the blink of an eye. He smiled before continuing. "Y'know, I just recently heard that you were crowned a princess of Equestria! And apparently that happened, like, a year ago? Why doesn't anyone tell me things?!"
Twilight wiped a bit of spit off her face, getting more used to it by now. "Well... wait, where exactly is Llamaland?"
Asher's ears flicked. "Llamaland is a super special island off the coast to the west of Equestria! After a while, we built a super long bridge connecting us to Equestria, so we can go when we please! That also connects us to other lands such as where the gryphons and dragons live. Speaking of dragons, I need to meet with Ember again. She didn't talk with me for long before she had to do something."
Twilight nodded. "Okay. Thank you. I honestly had no idea where Llamaland even was."
Asher ate another hooffull of grapes. "You should totally come visit some time! Then you'll know for sure! Oh! Also..." He started, taking a picture out of his fluff, "you can visit my gorgeous wife, Queen Isla, and our eight children!"
Twilight looked at the photo and smiled. All of the llamas were in royal attire, and the only one that didn't seem to be formal was Asher.
"That's a lot of heirs you have there!"
Asher nodded, putting the photo away. "Yep! Though, only one will take the throne as the King or Queen of Llamaland, and that is my oldest daughter, Petunia!"
"Ooh! What about the rest?"
"They'll just stay princes and princesses!" Asher replied, now finishing the bowl of grapes. After he finished, he moved on to the nuts. Twilight blinked.
"Um... you might want to slow down. You're not gonna have enough room for dinner if you don't."
Asher swallowed one last nut before stopping. "Okay, okay. But you can't just keep food here and expect me not to eat it!"
Twilight levitated the snacks off the table and on the floor behind her. "Better?"
"Much," Asher replied, bouncing in his seat. "So... what do you want to talk about?"
Twilight thought. "Well, I was wondering if we can make any trade deals."
Asher played with his hooves. "Done and done!"
Twilight tilted her head. "...Excuse me?"
Asher nodded. "Mmhm! I have a lot of trade deals going on with Celly!"
Twilight's wings unfurled. "But... what? She's never told me about any of that!"
Asher shrugged. "Eh, she must just be busy with a lot."
Twilight's eye twitched. "Yeah, but... y'know what, I won't worry about it right now."
Asher nodded. "That's a good thing. It's not good to be sad."
Twilight smiled. "I can agree to that."
Asher thought. "Hmm... well, do you have any fancy royal business to discuss?"
"Uh... nope... oh! Actually, I think I want to hear more about Llamala-"
"Oh! A story about Llamaland?! Well, I have a bunch of those! Why don't I tell you a few?"
Twilight blinked. "Uh..."
An hour later, Twilight was covered in spit, listening to Asher finish his tenth story.
"...and that's when I realized that I was a great king!" He finished, beaming. Twilight looked up at him.
"That was... enlightening. I learned... a lot!" Twilight said, trying to seem polite. Asher's ears twitched.
"Wanna hear another one?"
"No!" Twilight burst, immediately blushing. "Uh... hehe... what I meant to say was that I should probably get dinner on the table."
Asher nodded. "Alright! And... wait! I'll be right back!" He said, galloping outside. Twilight watched him leave in confusion, but then took the opportunity to levitate a towel over to her and wipe all the spit off her face. She folded it nicely beside her and set it down, also straightening her mane again. When Asher galloped back in, he was carrying a gigantic speaker. Twilight tilted her head.
"What's that for?"
Asher pressed a button on it, causing it to blast extremely loud music. Twilight fought the urge to cover her ears. He instantly started moving on his hooves.
"Why, a dance party, of course!"
Twilight's pupils shrunk. "Uh... actually, Asher, I really have to get dinner-"
Asher jumped on the table and grabbed Twilight, pulling her up onto the table with him. "Aww, come on! Dance a bit! Dancing is my favorite hobby!" He said, instantly moving and swinging and dipping Twilight. Twilight held onto him as tightly as she could. If she let go, she would be flung across the room.
Asher kept busting out moves, once even throwing Twilight under him and catching her once she ended up at the other side of him. She was visibly unamused, but she played along with him. She didn't want to do anything that would upset him.
Eventually, Asher had jumped on the ground, kicking chairs and once accidentally stepping in the plate of nachos. He swung Twilight around again, but she had become weak from about a half hour of crazy dancing. Her grip loosened, and because of that, she was thrown onto the table and skid across it, her side burning as she did. Her ears folded back as she stood up.
"Stop!" She yelled, her wings shooting out. This was enough to make Asher stop as he shut off his music. Twilight sighed from relief, folding her wings back in. "I understand if that's what your culture does, but it's not what mine does when visiting a formal guest. Also, you completely messed up this entire room. Spike's not gonna have fun cleaning this up."
Asher looked to the ground, not saying anything. Twilight continued.
"I'm sorry to say, but that took all of our time away from eating dinner. You mentioned in your letter you had a strict time schedule."
Asher finally looked up to her. "Oh." He took his speaker. "I do. Alright. See ya, then," he said, exiting the room. Twilight looked around, immediately feeling a bit guilty. She stepped outside the room, earning his attention.
"Um... don't worry, I'm not mad at you."
Asher's ears straightened. "Wait... you're not?"
Twilight shook her head. "Nope."
Asher's mood did a complete 180 as his signature smile broke out across his face again. "Great!" He said, hugging her briefly. He then trotted to the castle doors. "So... unlike the others, will you keep in touch with me if something big happens in Equestria?"
Twilight nodded. "Totally!" She replied, trying to smile again. "See you!"
Asher waved. "Bye! I wish I could stay longer!" He replied, stepping outside where his guards were waiting. Ivan, who looked run down, approached him.
"They had none of the gum you were looking for, your highness."
Asher shrugged. "Really? Oh well. We'll get some back home." As he said that, Twilight shut the castle door, falling onto her rump and sighing. After a minute, she stood up again, but was greeted by the opening of the door. She stepped back, seeing Spike walking in.
"Hey, Twilight! I saw the king leave! I'm sorry I missed-" He stopped, looking Twilight up and down. Her fur and mane were a mess, and she had many bags under her eyes. "...Dear Celestia, what happened to you?"
Twilight grunted and started walking upstairs. "I need a shower..." She mumbled. Spike shrugged, noticing the door to the conference room open out of the corner of his eye. He walked there to tidy things up, but when he reached it, he instead released a loud groan.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Well... they say you learn something new every day. I sure did. I learned why exactly you've never told me about the llamas. More importantly, King Asher. He was... alright, but I'll just say that my entire conference room is messed up and I spent an hour in the shower.
I really should have asked you about him before he came. Maybe then I would have known to keep an umbrella or face mask or something nearby.
-Twilight Sparkle
