Author's Note
A little something I randomly thought of. It's probably not all that funny. I never tried writing comedy before, so let's see how this goes.
It's simple.
Come on, Celestia! Keep it together!
The powerful white monarch paced around the room with not tired eyes, but a tired mouth.
"Oh, who am I kidding?" Celestia said to herself with a groan, her voice quiet enough to not alert the guards outside her door. "Hasbro couldn't have waited until morning to do this?! I've already gone through my whole list!" She brought her personal scroll up to her face, it was longer than the rainbow Beam of Harmony the Elements produced in her eyes.
She was exhausted. And she couldn't dare to sleep when Hasbro could be expecting her at any time. Hasbro was a group of gods that couldn't even produce a proper schedule. What? Next, they're going to air the show weeks earlier? She couldn't doubt it.
"Ugh!" Celestia plopped down on her magnificent velvet bed, dropping the parchment and letting it roll off the mattress. "I wouldn't have taken this job if I knew the circumstances." She said, rubbing her cheeks in a pursuit to ease her lower face.
There was then a knock at her door. "Celestia! We're ready for you!"
Finally! I can get this over with. Celestia brought herself up on her bed to her haunches, stretching her cheeks one last time with her forehoofs. Then, with power that rivaled Discord, brought a smile to her face. She calmly got off her bed and trotted over to the door, turning the handle with her magic and opening it.
She was greeted to the pony who called her earlier. "Are you ready?" She asked nicely, her horn glowing, levitating a clipboard filled to the max with papers. "We're all set up in the throne room!"
Dear Hasbro, please fire this donkey! Celestia's smile remained on her face as she mentally attempted to calm down. Now, Celestia, don't be speciest. You have to set an example to the little girls watching this show. She stared at the pony in front of her while speaking. "I'm as ready as can be!" She lied.
"Great! Just follow me!" The pony turned and fluttered her wings in the process.
Bucking Lauren...
Of course, Celestia wouldn't provoke Lauren Faust, whose power was light years away from hers. The only one who could even begin to try anything against her would be Discord, but even he was short of magic. They were planning this for months, she wasn't going to screw this up.
Celestia followed Lauren to the long throne room of Canterlot Castle, where they met up with Hasbro's film crew scattered around her throne: Some unicorns and earth ponies with large cameras, pegasi with lighting, and more unicorns with boom microphones.
The Princess of Equestria walked up to a dark beige, brown spiky-maned stallion with a folder packed with papers in his hooves.
"Ah, Celestia!" He addressed as he turned to her. "We're all arranged for your part of the show's intro!" He said excitingly.
That's great Jayson! Maybe you should try smiling every minute of every hour every day. Maybe then you'll try to finally buck off!
"That's wonderful Jayson! Let's proceed!"
"Just sit on your throne while we recheck everything," Jayson said, washing his eyes over his papers once more.
Once Celestia was seated and waiting patiently, a pink pegasus mare with a dark brown and purple mane stepped up and said, "Alright, Celestia, keep your wings stretched a bit, and just as a pegasus brings in a camera from the window to your right, unroll a scroll, that Spike the Dragon 'sends', in your magic while bringing a calm smile to your face."
Oh, Amy, why are you torturing me as well? You better pay me back big time after this. Preferably when the Grand Galloping Gala takes place. Wait... wouldn't that mean more smiling?!
Celestia nodded at Amy happily, letting her trot back to Lauren.
"Okay, we're ready!" Jayson shouted.
Celestia stretched her muscles a bit before giving the director a firm nod, indicating that she too was ready.
A red pegasus named James Wootton signaled a unicorn mare beside him to begin. The gray unicorn lit up her horn and drifted an open slate board to the window.
"Okay, and~" Jayson whispered.
Celestia stared at another one of the unicorns in front of her, holding a rolled scroll prop just out of the camera's line of sight.
"...action!"
The unicorn slammed the top part of the slate board down.
It will only take a couple of seconds. Celestia thought, playing intense battle music in her head.
A pegasus zoomed in through the window holding a camera, and Celestia immediately grabbed the scroll prop from the unicorn and brought it down, opening her mouth to a smi-
*BOOM!*
Everyone in the throne room shielded their eyes from the oncoming dust, caused by an explosion behind a wall to Celestia's right.
Celestia gasped out, clearly exhausted by smiling. The intense music stopped as well. What the buck?! She frowned. Why can't I just go rest!
Once the dust cloud settled, Celestia figured out the cause.
The black tall alicorn stepped out of the hole in the wall, chuckling menacingly. "Sister! I have returned!" Nightmare Moon said with her wings unfolded.
It was silent in the throne room, all eyes on Nightmare Moon.
"Now! The night! Shall last! Forever!" She yelled before laughing evilly.
No one was scared or frightened at the least.
Well... not frightened towards Nightmare Moon at least.
Lauren Faust stepped threateningly towards Celestia's corrupted sister. "Nightmare Moon!" She yelled, rocking everyone in the large room.
"Ah! It seems somepony remembers m-" She was cut short when Lauren grabbed her by the neck and shoved her to the wall.
"How dare you! Don't interrupt our shoot!" The red maned alicorn said with infinite rage.
Nightmare growled at Lauren. "How dare me? How dare you!" She yelled. "Do you know who I am!"
"Yes, you're the first villain on the show! Congrats, you're not special! Now sit quietly until we're done, and then you can do this offscreen!" Lauren let go of the black alicorn. She turned and began to walk away. It was only when she stopped when Nightmare Moon made the biggest mistake of anyone's lifetime.
She fired lethal magic at Lauren.
Everypony in the room widened their eyes and had their pupils more shrunken down than pinpricks.
Celestia was just glad she was frowning instead of smiling.
The magic missile touched Lauren, but it disappeared without doing anything to her. Making Nightmare instantly delete the grin on her face.
Lauren turned and looked at Nightmare. She blinked and the foolish alicorn was sent flying towards the wall. "Now sit there, and wait quietly while we finish, or I'll banish you to the sun!"
Definitely unconscious. Celestia noted. That's why you don't buck with Lauren. Not like you'd know, you were banished off-screen.
Lauren flashed her horn and suddenly the hole in the wall was fixed in a warm glow. "Now, where were we." She said, before nodding to Jayson.
The stallion nodded back. "Alright, let's get the cameras rolling again!" He called out to everyone in the room.
A few seconds after the pegasus flew out of the window with the camera in hoof, he yelled, "Action!"
The slate board was slapped. The pegasus flew in once again with the camera rolling.
Celestia brought the scroll up to her face. The intense music was playing again in her head when her smile formed. Her sister was still knocked out. It was perfect. Finally, she was going to get some rest.
But then her smile dropped because she couldn't control her mouth muscles, making her look like she was scowling at the scroll.
"Cut!" Jayson yelled angrily.
She really tried her best. But after smiling all day she was just too tired of pulling the corner of her lips up. It was like trying lift Canterlot Castle at this point, no one would understand.
"Come on, Celestia! We're trying to get through this quick!" Lauren said, equally as angry.
"That's it!" Celestia yelled, finally fed up. She slapped the scroll in front of her with her hoof, almost making it hit the unicorn initially holding it. "I've had enough! First, you come up to me randomly during the afternoon and tell me we're doing a shoot for the intro for some show for little fillies! Then, you ignore and laugh at me when I explained I was going to be tired from smiling all day when you told me that we were going to start near the end of the bucking day! And now you're telling me you want to get this over with?! All of you should go piss off! You're all lunatics! What do you think I've been trying to do all this time?!"
Everypony stared at her heavy breathing form in frustration, confusion, and shock.
Celestia let her eyes travel to Lauren, who spoke to her in a quiet, firm tone.
"I was going to let Nightmare Moon be finished off with you going off unscathed, but now I know what's going to happen to you." Lauren walked up to the throne and stared at the now horrified Celestia in the eyes. "You're going to be banished to the moon by Nightmare Moon, got it?"
Celestia stared at her for a few seconds before slowly nodding.
"You're lucky you aren't receiving worse just because you're one of my favorite characters." She said quietly before walking back to the other crew members. "Now we're going to restart. And until it's perfect, we're going to try again, and again, and again. You hear me!"
Celestia nodded once again.
Bucking kill me...
