Elemental Sucker Punch

by Boneache

Rating: mature
Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Dark, Adventure
Length: 2572

A human is sent to equestria with the power to absorb and reuse any elements he comes in contact with

During the experiment known as Alpha Elementium 8.62 thousands of humans of the lower chain of societies were brought in for testing to become super powered super soldiers. This was however a horrible idea with hundreds of millions killed for these improvements one day however a small focus for the power was placed in one (un)lucky human's hands.

This human had wished for the excitement of life with these upgrades not only scarring a already damaged body but, making him stronger with each one he survived. This one would prove his greatest challenge and his most complicated one as well.

|Before I even start the story let me explain this will be a somewhat anti-hero story with lots of swearing crude humor and sex scenes should it develop the story but, he won't be hell bent on it. Some ideas based on the infamous game series you'll see why. Main Characters added as needed|

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-25 02:10:01 UTC

Prolouge - Elemental Affinity

The story of how I got here begins with one James Roans currently lying in a cluttered unkempt bed with a light drool falling off of my mouth and onto my pillows, there is a light moment of peace until his alarm starts buzzing. With my eyes opening lightly I feel around for the alarm clock next to me feeling up the cord towards the clock I flick the alarm switch and the buzzing of the clock stops however I don't, I stand up cracking my back and yawning. "Ah... sweet relief." I say while still cracking my joints and bathing in the godly feeling.

With a quick look at his alarm clock he sees it's 10:30 and "Finally, its my day off work, time to find something interesting to do." I nod to no one imparticular and then I look down only to see the one thing that could ruin a morning faster than a case of death, a evil case of morning wood. "Oh come on! You're fucking kidding me, this early?" With a sigh I take off the boxers and quickly, with a little bit of extra force, gets a new pair of boxers on and walk up to my clothes drawer without even looking I pull out a black, may I add a decently stained one, and some decent looking denim jeans. "Oh look it's something that doesn't look horrible together, just my luck!" I say joking to myself.

With the now somewhat smaller bump in my pants and my clothes on I have a not too interesting teeth brushing which right now is fine by me. I walk down my creaking stairs, they creak like fucking bad though seriously! When I get downstairs I make some toast in my new toaster and eat some cereal with it all while reading through the news paper to see if there are any good enhancements for free or cheap in the papers. "Increased strength, have it..., multitasking, have it..., reading thoughts, yeah hell no." As I continue reading I here my back door busting open.

"Dafaq?!" I'm cut off by a "Move, Move, MOVE!" I cut into my kitchen to see three HTMs standing in front of me, why in hell are they down in the slums?

"Get on the ground or ge-" I cut him off "Yeah no and by the way." I run toward them sideways snapping through one of them and turning around I realize I can't and I start to fall unconscious. "F.. u..." is all I can say before I slip into sleep.

When I awaken I realize I'm in the middle of some sort of circle with some device in my hands that I can't stop. "What the hell am I do-" I'm cut off by the sharp zap and electrocution of my entire body fueled by every other person in this room. "Steady..." I feel it start to overwhelm me but, for some reason it feels good. Instead of it focusing into my body I focus it outside of me sure enough this stops it all together. "Test failed... dispose of the corps-" He looks at me with fear as I now notice my eyes have electricity glowing outside of them and through my hands. "AGHHHH!!!!! I CAN'T HOLD IT MUCH LONGER!" The pain now surging looking for the nearest way out which so happened to be all around me, when suddenly all the energy expands and implodes in on itself.

When I awaken I notice there is a crater around me and electricity is still flowing in me just MUCH weaker. The hell did they do to me, and more importantly where the hell am I." I look around me  to see some more sparks flowing around a bit, I kind of feel almost attracted towards them. I walk toward the spark and hold my hand up to it and suddenly I feel it jolt into me and this time I feel I'm at the brim, as in anymore and I'll explode... again. I guess I'll try testing my new enhancements. I discharge them through my hand somewhat which causes it to glow, then I discharge more which creates a wicked ass blade. "HOLY SHIT THAT'S COOL AS FUCK!!!" I push the energy back into me and try pushing it all the way out firing small electrically charged blasts. "Hmm, what about this." I pull the lightning into my hand and curve them behind my waste slightly. "Ka... Me..." Seeing it visibly glow make me even more excited. "Ha... Me..." Now it's engulfing my hands. "HA!!!!" Which that a small electrical zap and sizzles burn a good 50 feet ahead of me. "That.... was.... FUCKING AWESOME!" Then I realize my energy tanks for it are extremely low but there is no more lightning or electricity. "Whatever, fucking worth it. But, I'll save the rest of my energy."

With that over I adventure onward west (or east) as the sun tells me the directions welp time to go see where I am. I head off in one direction walking through a forest that almost looks... twisted? I keep walking anyway without any trouble eventually I come across a hut in the middle of a path and without any thought I knock on the door. A voice inside replies with "Ah, come inside as it would be bad to bide outside." Heh, that rhythmed. I walk in only to see... a zebra. Well a very small zebra to be precise. It says "Come and take a seat I'm sure you would enjoy a treat?" Okay is that on purpose or am I in a fucked up hell, probably both. Without saying anything I sit down and wait for the zebra to return.

Chapter 1 - Rhythm of the Forbidden / Divinity is only temporary

As I wait for this zebra to return I look around and really it looks like someone decided it would be a great idea to make a prehistorical meth lab mixed with voodoo, and let me tell you it looks crazy as shit, bottles filled with different liquids and shit, even then I still have no idea why in the hell I can read what each bottle says. As I'm still in my own thoughts I see the miniature zebra return some how balancing two cups of something on it's back. "How the hell are you doing that?" I ask, with a quick raise of the brow it replies.

"What do you speak of, is it something unique?" I look at it.

"3 things, how the hell is a zebra speaking, how are you carrying those cups so easily, and lastly why do you keep rhyming?!" She looks back at me somewhat offended.

"All zebras can speak as with the cups training makes them not leak." She then looks at me closely. "As for why I rhyme awhile back in time I was approached and welcomed into a group full of crime and grime. In the end I was cursed to rehearse, or else I shan't speak." She says looking down sadly, I probably shouldn't pry further it would be very rude, I look up at it, still think I'm in hell.

"Hey it's cool, so lets move on from that what's your name?" God I swear I'm insane.

"I'm Zecora the zebra and do not fear for me I can rhyme at any point in time so I should be fine." How long did it take her to get this good at rhyming?

"Okay, so where in the hell am I Zecora?" She looks back up at me

"You're in the land of Equestria a very grand and lovely place to be, and also please tell me your name as to not be so hollow." Well I might as well we might be here a while.

"I'm James, and I come from Pennsylvania, US, North America, Earth. In that order from state to planet." I say as she looks at me in shock.

"Well I fear for you as you may be in some dear trouble for there is no place on the planet that could even get a name like that." Shit that mean I'm stuck here.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me... no where... whatever, more importantly I need to know the place to the closest town, I need to get home." She gives me a understanding nod.

"North of this path there will be a town and be careful it could be terrible if you take a fall and the call for torture comes from the northern." Dafaq is that supposed to mean? You know what fuck it I need to get to some town and try to get back home.

"Thanks Zecora!" I shout on my way out. I start to walk down the path experimenting with this lightning ability and from what I've found out is that I know what my powers can do and how they work somewhat. Apparently abilities are made by me or pre-defined if I pour out power randomly, oh the Kamehameha that was amazing. But, apparently what I can do with my  powers is sense electricity, absorb electricity, use it for attacks, and defense, but one thing I didn't expect I can use it to fly or boost my speed without wasting energy. "Alright lets try that I say to myself." I have to figure out how to do it by myself first, let's try this first. I start to charge it into my feet and feel it lifting me. "YES! It's working!" With that I launch it outward boosting me into the air. I hit a branch snapping it on the way. "OW, that fucking hurt!" After that I hit pretty high up and start falling. "Shit, shit, SHIT!" I flip around and start pouring it into my hands and feet. With that I start falling slower but, not slow enough. With that I hit the ground at about 30 miles per hour "AHHH! FUCKING SHIT!" I feel my legs crack a bit when I hit the ground, and even worse my energy is drained so I can't refill for a boost. "SOMEONE HELP A NEIGHBOR, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" With that I hear something land going really fast next to me.

"Woah! Dude that was amazing, Did you se-"

I cut her off "LESS BRAGGING MORE HELPING, I NEED ELECTRICTY JUST ANY NO QUESTIONS DOESN'T MATTER, A DEFIBBRILATOR OR ANYTHING ELECTRICAL!" I look to see a rainbow colored pony, my day why? "Wh-" she gets cut off "JUST DO IT!!!" Heh nike. With that she rushes off 5 seconds later she brings a fucking storm cloud, know what I could probably do it too just absorb it. I absorb the energy out of it hearing my bones start to fix themselves, yet now they are really sour I fill my energy fill back up to about 30% I then proceed to get up.

"WOAH, DUDE YOU JUST ATE THE LIGHTNING THAT WAS SO BUCKING COOL!" I look back at her.

"Yeah it's a long story, heh." With that I hear a shouting around a corner and see a purple unicorn running at me! "Woah, calm-" with that I see a light purple glow coming from her horn, oh hell no that's not happening! With that I see the blast coming at me and I have one idea I absorb the electricity in it and it dissipates. But this over piles my energy to about 110% and it spills out a little bit making some electricity strike around me slightly, holy shit how much energy did that small blast have?! "I didn't do anything!" I say

"Yeah right, you hurt rainbow dash!" Wait was my voice really that girly?

"I didn't do anything she was helping me!"

She replies with "Yeah right I mean look at her!" I look back and see her ears are flopped back likely due to my current form. With that she flies away when I reach out for her, SHIT I'M FUCKED. "Did you just try to kill her, alright I'm done with you." With that her horn glows but, all I see is it glowing then stop. with that she runs away faster then I can catch her.

"What the hell am I going to do!"

A few seconds later my vision started to get blurry as he saw something new he saw him using a huge ball of charged energy he threw and it blew up flying with electricity and a smaller version  of it which spat out mini electro grenades. After waking up I realize its getting darker, how long was I out for I think to myself. About a minute later I see the two ponies I saw before and 4 more each one wearing a necklace except the purple one who's wearing a crown. "What the hell?" I step back with a little bit of intimidation. They all gather around each other and start to rise.

"You have committed crimes against Equestria and now the elements have been called upon to judge you!" She goes onto a speech I don't pay attention to but maybe I can stop them from launching this all powerful attack. I walk up to them and she says. "You think you can save yourself from judgement from me and my frien-" I cut her off

"I think I can actually." I grab her horn and feel the power no the divine power flowing into me calmly yet I feel my power tanks expand massively and all the divine energy pour in. I notice I start feeding off the life energy in her and let go before I kill her by accident. When I let go I notice that they start lowering and stop glowing.

"What happened, the elements they should've worked?" the purple pony says.

"Well I guess someone wouldn't mind a taste of her own medicine." I fire the exact same beam back at them using about 40% of the energy I have stored up. I notice them all tense up and we all pass out. I awaken inside my mind as far as I know but I see them standing there.

"Girls, there it is!" the blue one, 'Rainbow Dash', points at me and immediately she rushes me but countering her I grab her by the throat. "Ahem, now if anyone would like to explain to me what exactly I did I would love to hear it, including my side of the story." I look at them. "You hurt rainbow dash!"

They all say, great more assumptions. "I see you haven't learned much how about we see what you've all done." The orange one stares at me. "Put her down, NOW!" I look at her.

"Story time." With that were all staring at a tv in my mind. Re watching all of their battles I point out flaws. "Luna became jealous, nightmare merely was that side of her exposed, basically you erased at least 30% of her, Chrysalis was more reasonable still she was endangered had no other way to survive, she did what she had to." I used the last of my energy to implant these thoughts more expanded and those memories into their heads, before we woke up I said "Not everything is black and white or good and evil, think about it, some food for thought."