First, Last, And Only Letter

by Six String

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Main 6, Princess Luna, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Celestia
Length: 3587

A Letter written to the Princess Of The Sun by a crossdressing marecolt, and what happens as a result of that letter.

This is a very serious, and sensitive subject, everypony, so if you're deeply affected by things like this, then, don't read this story.

When I had originally written this, I wrote the letter part first, which was just the Letter part without all the extra added stuff. It began at 'Dear Princess Celestia', and ended with 'Sincerely, Six String'. I had titled it "First Last And Only Letter", and wrote it when I was in a very dark place in my life , mentally, and emotionally, and had actually considered taking my own life. Thankfully, I was able to get through the hardship with the help of some very good friends of mine, though I did end up having to respond to comments, messages, and e-mails from worried people, who were greatly concerned for my health, safety, and well being. I told them that I was fine now, and added more, giving it a somewhat happy ending to alleviate their fears as to whether I was still going to kill myself, or not.

In conclusion, everypony, if you are having thoughts of harming yourself, please, please PLEASE talk to somepony, whether it be a family member, a friend, or a licensed mental health specialist, because as Applejack says in this story "We can't afford ta lose ya.", and to borrow a line from Discord, even though it turns my stomach, "Things could always be a lot worse than they are."

Published 2017-05-25 21:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-11-06 18:02:28 UTC

2. Discord & Six String's Excellent Adventure/ Bogus Journey

Author's Note

Cue the air guitar riff.

2. Discord & Six String's Excellent Adventure/ Bogus Journey

Six String's POV-

"Oh for the love of Equestria!" I groan, and facehoof at seeing who had just appeared in front of me. "What do you want Discord? I'm busy."

I had just visited Princess Twilight's castle after requesting that she ask Spike to send a letter to Princess Celestia, and similar letters to each of the other Element Bearers, as well to as Spitfire, and Soarin' High. I'd given Twilight her copy of the letter, then I left to make the final preparations for what I was going to do. Now I'm standing face to face with Discord. His face and voice are not ones that I wanted to hear, or see.

"Yes, I know," he melodiously replies. "You're planning your death. What is it with you Ponies, and being overly dramatic."

Obviously, the last part wasn't a question, but I decided to answer it anyway.

"If you don't leave me alone, it'll be your death that I plan instead," I tell Discord.

He just laughs at me, and rolls his beady mismatched eyes.

"You honestly think you can hurt me?" he guffaws.

He keeps laughing until he feels a tight grip around his throat, choking the life out of him. I narrow my eyes, and accentuate my words clearly to get my point across, strangling him as I do so.

"Don't. Cross. Me. I'm. In. A. Very. Bad. Mood."

I finally release him, and start to walk away, only for Discord to reappear in front of me.

"I wouldn't have bothered trying to talk to you, if I didn't have a reason."

"What, tormenting me isn't enough? Everypony else already beat you to it, so take a number, and wait in line."

The jerk raps on my head with his lion paw.

"Hello anypony home? Think McFly, think!" (That was for all you BTTF fans who may, or may not be reading this. ;-}) "I know this may be difficult for you, but would you pull your head out of your rump, and think about what you're about to do?"

Now it's my turn to laugh at him, and I take great pleasure in doing so.

"That's rich coming from the spirit of chaos," I retort.

Then I hear something that I thought I would never hear from Discord, even if he was faking sympathy.

"You just don't get it, do you," he says sadly.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

Then, in a sudden blinding flash of light the world around me changes. I find myself outside of Fluttershy's cottage. It's all boarded up, as though nopony had lived there in years. There aren't even any animals running around. Although the destroyed remnants of their cages are still around. Neither the sun, nor the moon, and stars are in the night sky.

"What's going on? Why is Fluttershy's cottage in such a state of disrepair?" He just points to the door. I go over to it, and find that it's unlocked, so I go inside.

"Hello?" Fluttershy? Are you home? It's Six String."

I don't get an answer, so I search through the whole place, only to find that nopony really hasn't been there in years. Another blinding light, and I'm standing in front of Sugarcube Corner. Like Fluttershy's cottage, it looks like nopony it's falling apart, but then I see the Cakes walking out, and closing up the shop. They look tired, as though they've been working themselves ragged. Surprisingly, Pinkie Pie is nowhere to be seen.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cake!" I exclaim trotting over to them, but I pass right through them.

"Am I dead?" I ask looking over at Discord, who laughs at me again.

"Not dead, but you're not exactly alive."

"So I'm undead, like a zombie? Grrrrhhhhh Brrrraaainnnss!"

He facepaws, and I grin like an idiot.

"You read too many comic books." he says.

"Then why couldn't the Cakes see, or hear me."

"Come on," he finally says, leading me to Carousel Boutique.

There's a light on upstairs, but that's it. A sign on the front says "Going out of business." I gasp at the sight of it, and go inside, running up the stairs. Much like with the Cakes, Rarity, and Sweetie Belle can't see me either. I feel hollow inside. Then I hear Sweetie Bell talking to Rarity.

"So where will we go?" the filly asks

"To Manehattan, I suppose," the posh pony says. "Perhaps I'll be able to get a job making clothes for the ponies there. But there's nothing for us here in Ponyville anymore."

Discord, and I leave this dreary scene, and come upon a new one; Rainbow Dash's home. It's a smoldering ruin, as though it had burned up, and nopony had even bothered to put it out, because they just didn't care. Fully knowing the dangers, I went into the ruins hoping Dash wasn't inside. Thankfully she wasn't. But where was she.

"Where is everypony?" I wonder aloud.

That feeling of despair that I had felt at Rarity's was growing larger now, and it felt like it was slowly eating away at me from the inside out. From Rainbow's place, Discord takes me to Sweet Apple Acres. Much like the other places, we've visited, the farm looks to be in a state of disrepair. The trees aren't bearing much fruit, and appear to have withered considerably. The Apple family is still there, but they just sit there in the living room staring off into space.

"We have one more place to visit here in Ponyville. Then we can go to Cloudsdale, and Canterlot." Discord tells me. "There are things in both places that you must see."

I just nod silently, and let him take me back into town. Princess Twilight's Castle is dark. "Well go on!" he says shoving me towards the doors. I go in, and search all throughout the castle, but find nopony, not even Spike is around.

"This is getting too weird." I say to nopony

"Like yo mama!" replies Discord.

"I really don't care about my mother, or any of the members of my family, so go ahead, and smack talk her, and them all you want."

"Okay. Yo mama's so stupid, she though Sugarcube Corner was made of real sugar."

"Not bad....for an amateur. My mama's so ugly, she went into a haunted house, and came out with a job application!"

The Draconaquis laughs.

"Ouch!"

He snaps his lion paw, and instantly, we're in the throne room at Canterlot Castle. Prince Blueblood is sitting on the throne before him is a tan Unicorn Stallion with a brown mane, a brown tail, brown eyes, and a pipe with smoke coming out of it for a cutie mark.

"Please!" the Unicorn is pleading. "I just need more time!"

"You should have thought of that before you decided to break the law!" Blueblood's voice is cold. "Guards, take this ruffian to the dungeon!"

Two Soldiers in full armor come in, and one places something around the Unicorn's horn. It slides all the way down to the base of it

"Why is Prince Bonehead on the throne?" he demands. "Where are Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna."

"Show some respect knave! I am your king now! As for my dear Aunties, nopony has seen them for quite some time. They never come out of their rooms anymore, since the tragedy." Blue blood replies as the guards drag the red Unicorn kicking, yelling, and screaming from the room.

"Tragedy? What Tragedy?" I try to ask, but Discord snaps his paw again, and now we're on the streets of Canterlot, near an alleyway where Spike is leaning against a building.

I hear a commotion in the alleyway, and a green Unicorn with a black mane, a black tail, green eyes and a medicine bottle cutie mark trots out, giving a bag of bits to Spike.

"What the hay is going on?" I wonder aloud, as I make my way over.

That's when I see her. She's gained a considerable amount of weight, and her crown is missing, but the multi colored mane, and lavender coat, which is now a dark dull shade are unmistakable. She has white goo around her maw, and that's when it hits me as to what she was doing, and why that Unicorn had given Spike the bag of bits. I turn, and throw up right then, and there. Fortunately, I puked all over Discord, so I was able to gain something positive from this experience.

"You did that on purpose!" he grouses.

"Yep," I reply beaming proudly.

He glares at me, and with a wave of his paw, we're on a rock farm. I see a pink Earth Pony pulling a boulder with a rope harness, and not getting very far with it. Her coat is a bit dirty, and her mane is deflated, but it's still Pinkie Pie. Her blue eyes, normally bright, and twinkling are now glassed over, much like the eyes of the Apple family had been when I saw them. My tongue feels like it's swollen in my muzzle. I can't move it, or even swallow.

"This is too much!" I cry out. Why are you torturing me like this?!"

"We still have one more place to go."

"Aren't you done making me miserable yet."

"Not quite yet," the Draconaquis tells me.

I resign myself to let him show me whatever it is he wants me to see, so he'll just leave me alone to mourn what's befallen my friends. Blinding light yada yada yada. You know the drill.

"Wonderbolt headquarters, and academy?" I ask.

"Not anymore," Discord tells me.

It did look different. Where all the Wonderbolt banners, flags, and tapestries once hung, are ones that proclaim this place Shadowbolt Headquarters, And Academy.

"What is going on here?"

Before Discord can answer, two Pegasai in tight fitting black purple, and yellow flightsuits come flying in with rather large sacks. They set their sacks down, and salute a cyan Pegasus with a rainbow tail, and rainbow mane wearing a dark colored military style dress uniform, and next to her is a butter cream colored Pegasus with a pink mane, and a pink tail, also in a Military style uniform. Clearly the ones in the military style uniforms are the leaders.

"Two more full bags of loot, ma'am!" says one of the flightsuit clad Pegasai.

"We almost didn't make it back though. Sacrificed Lightning Dust to get away. She was dead as soon as that Unicorn guard's magic hit her!"

"Good work!" the cyan Pegasus says, her voice scratchier than usual. "She was a loser anyway, and never would have fit in with us!"

"Thanks, Captain Rainbow Dash!"

"You should both be proud of yourselves. You've proven that the strong survive, and the weak die, just like those two dead ex-Wonderbolts, Spitfire, and Soarin!" Rainbow's companion says in a rather soft, yet aggressive voice.

There's something familiar about her too, and then it hits me. It's Fluttershy. My eyes go wide, and my heart sinks. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are criminals now, and leading the Wonderbolts who are a bunch of crooks calling themselves the Shadowbolts. That's more than I can bear, and I collapse on the ground sobbing loudly, I'm glad that nopony could see, or hear me. Who knows what would happen to me if they could. I want to run to Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy, and embrace them, but I know I can't, and that makes it worse. The pain is cutting so deep into me, worse than what I have...had planned to do. With all that I've seen, doubt has crept into my mind whether I still want to go through with it, or not. Then I notice Discord is still standing beside me.

"Prince Blueblood mentioned a tragedy that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna haven't left their rooms since. What was it?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes," I tell him, nodding. "The death of a very dear friend of theirs. That's what's caused all of this to happen. Like a balloon with too much air in it, there was too much chaos energy caused by that one death, and it created this nightmare.

"Who was it?" I ask, dreading the answer. He just stares at me with those beady mismatched eyes.

"Me?" I ask. "How can I fix this?"

"All you have to do is one simple little thing," the Draconaquis tells me.

"What?" He leans in, and whispers into my right ear.

"Live."

I look at him as though he's lost what passes for his mind, which isn't too far off, since he's the living embodiment of chaos, and disharmony.

"And tell them about how you feel, and about your past."

"What if they hate me because of it?"

"They're your friends, they'll understand, he says. "Just remember that things could always be a lot worse than they are."

A final flash of bright light and I'm alone in my house back in Ponyville, Discord's parting words to me echoing in my ear. I rush out the door, and back toward Princess Twilight's castle. It's standing tall, just I remember it. I burst through the doors, startling everpony who had gathered. I don't need to ask why they're all here, I already know. Princess Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Spike. Even Soarin' High, Spitfire, Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna are there. All have worried expressions on their faces. Once I catch my breath, I tell them everything from my birth all the way up until I came back to the castle, and found them all there. When I finish, there are more than a few tears being shed. They all surround me, and embrace me, showing their solidarity, and their friendship. After a few minutes, Applejack finally speaks up. Her accent is about as refreshingly sweet the cider that her family is so famous for.

"Please don't ever scare us like that again, sugarcube. You've seen what happens to all of us, if you had gone through with yer plan. We can't afford ta lose ya."

"Applejack is right, darling" says Rarity "So what if you like wearing mare's clothes, and doing things that mares do. There's nothing wrong with it, since it's not hurting anyone."

"Tell that to my family," I mutter.

"Indeed we shall," Princess Luna tells me. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, my sister, and I will be visiting them to discuss reparations for what they and thy sister have done."

I look over at Princess Celestia, and she nods, smiling at me.

"So you don't hate me?" I ask.

"Nah," Rainbow says. "It's cool."

"Um I think you make a cute marecolt," Fluttershy tells me. I blush through my fur.

"Thanks, I think."

"You're still welcome to fly with us, ya know," says Spitfire. "You always were."

"Yeah, adds Soarin'. "We weren't sure why you'd left after you graduated from the academy."

"As Discord told you," Princess Celestia tells me. "You could have told us at any time. As your friends, we would understand, and would never abandon you for something as trivial as being a crossdresser."

"So what do we call you know?" asks Pinkie Pie. "Six String? Nimble Hooves? Six Hooves? Nimble String?" Or Nimble String Hooves, OOH! Or Six Nimble Hooves String! We totally gotta have a party for you now!"

"What do you call this, a meeting of the 'Six String's Family Are Jerks Club'?" Spike asks dryly.

"Yep!" she replies.

I roll my eyes, and laugh. Yes, things could always be a lot worse than they are.

1. "Dear Princes Celestia..."

-Princess Celestia's POV -

It was a beautiful day in Canterlot, and the sun was shining. I sat on my throne taking care of day court business, and had just finished dealing with some annoying nobles who wanted even more wealth, privilege, power, and status than what they already had. I had told them that the only ponies who had more wealth, power, privilege, and status as they were Princess Luna, I, and that if they wish to gain such things, they must earn them, rather than having them given. The nobles didn't like it, but they accepted it anyway, and left, because they knew it would be foolish to argue with me. Just then, a scroll popped in out of thin air.

"Ah, another friendship letter from Twilight, or her friends," I said to nopony in particular.

Then I noticed that Princess Twilight's seal wasn't on it, but that it was wrapped with a what appeared to be a blue string instead. Untying the string with my magic, and unrolling the scroll, I began to read:

Dear Princess Celestia,

You don't know me, because I'm just an insignificant nothing, who never amounted to anything, and never will. I know that all I am is a disappointment to everypony else, including you, and my parents Featherwing, and Cloud Kicker. That is why I have decided that it would be best if I left this world. Before I go, there are things that I feel that you need to know, so you may better understand why I did what I did.

I was born as Nimble Hooves in Cloudsdale, and I was always considered to be a bit different than most colts, preferring to do things that fillies usually did like wear make up, and go shopping for shoes, clothes, and jewelry. Everypony was so cold, and indifferent to me, treating me like I'm a burden, and with the same regards as one would treat anypony who has a horrible disfiguring disease. Even my own so-called "family". It was during my teenage years that this became most evident, and when my parents caught me crossdressing in my sister Arabesque's dance outfit one day, they yelled at me, and called me all kinds of terrible things.

Then they sent me to one of those camps to "fix" gay Ponies. The Ponies there were tortured with verbal, mental, emotional, and physical abuse, starved, and kept from being able to drink anything, and if anypony was caught acting gay, the camp staff stuck the pony into a metal box for three days with a heat lamp inside that was cranked up to full power. I ran away from the camp, and ended up in Ponyville. Seeing that the ponies in Ponyville were gentle, and kind, I decided that liked the town, and it's inhabitants so much, that I settled there. I even legally changed my name, taught myself how to play Guitar, and got my cutie mark,, which is an Acoustic Guitar, after performing in the annual Ponyville talent show. Recently, I tried to join the Wonderbolts Reserves. Unfortunately, it was just like everywhere else. There were ponies who took offense to my existence, and even though I graduated, and am friends with both Wonderbolt Captains, I never fly with them. Why would they want somepony like me around?

Then there was the situation at the Grand Galloping Gala when I encountered my parents, and sister. I went there trying to make peace with them, but they told me to leave them alone, and called me more of the same things they had called me when I was younger. Of course you know how that ended.

Lately, it seems as though Everypony in Ponyville seems to be avoiding me too, treating me the same way the ponies in Cloudsdale did. Twilight Sparkle, and her friends are still nice to me, as they always have been since I arrived in Ponyville, but everyone else is so harsh, and rude towards me. Now I'm a former musician, and Guitar instructor. I say former, because nopony will hire me to perform anymore and all of my students have either quit, or been pulled out by their parents. I've been fighting a losing battle since I was born, and it hurts too much to bare it anymore. I know you'll try to send somepony to try keep me from doing what I'm going to do, perhaps you'll come yourself. But then again, maybe you don't even care, since you're an Alicorn, and Royalty, while I'm just a lowlife commoner. What I do know, is that by the time this letter reaches you, I will be gone. Please don't blame yourself for what happened blame life, fate and destiny, and also blame existence for being nothing more than a cruel crude crass sick twisted evil demented unfunny cosmic joke that even Discord would be offended by.

Sincerely,

Six String

While I was reading the letter, my expression changed from smiling, and happy, to sad, and very frightened. My eyes went wide, my ears drooped, and my mane stopped flowing of it's own accord. I bowed my head, and closed my eyes. Tears began to flow from my eyes, and as if to reflect my change in mood, the clouds covered the sun, and heavy rain began to fall.

After a few moments that seemed like an eternity, I looked over at the two guards that were by the throne room doors.

I know it's early, but would you please go awaken my sister? I need to speak with her here. Please tel her that it's very important."

One of the guards nodded hoofing his spear to the other guard, before opening the doors, and quickly exiting. The doors closed again behind him.

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