Muffins & Gems

by Ember_Arts

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Original Character, Comedy, Derpy Hooves
Length: 1123

When Topaz, a dangerous killer, and the ditzy Derpy collide. What ditzy gore will come out of this?

*THIS STORY CONTAINS GORE AND DARK HUMOR. READER DISCRETION IS GREATLY ADVISED*Topaz Bow was, like most foals in the Palace District, was fairly rich. She woke up in her own room. Bathed in her own bathroom, and went to school at a school you had to pay for. Life was good.

All of that ended when her father died. Fast forward many years, and she's a killer, all of that changes when she meets Derpy, who is greatly interested in becoming like her. They'll give you muffins! They'll cut your throat. In Muffins & Gems!

Published 2017-05-24 03:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-24 03:10:01 UTC

Prelude

Author's Note

Derpy talks in a very funny way. The way she talks is part of my headcanon, so don't be alarmed when you see how she talks.

Prelude

Prelude
Topaz Bow was, like most foals in the Palace District, was fairly rich. She woke up in her own room. Bathed in her own bathroom, and went to school at a school you had to pay for. Life was good.

All of that ended when her father died.

Topaz and her mother Red Ribbon solemnly trotted out of their large house and boarded a small cart, much smaller than the cart they used to have. Topaz gazed up at her house, she had left many things behind. ‘Only take two bags,’ Ribbon told her.

“It’s alright Topaz, everything will be alright,” Ribbon sighed. And it was. Topaz and Ribbon moved into a house in Ponyville. And thought they had to share a room and bathroom and go to a free public school. Topaz made friends and eventually grew up and discovered her cutie mark…

Topaz clenched her jaw, her chest heaving. Like most foals, she had a bully that’d pick on her since she didn’t have her cutie mark. This foal was Goldie Crook, her special talent was stealing things from other ponies.

She led Goldie over to her house and did something she never thought she would do. Topaz’s horn glowed, and she and her mother’s bed sheet floated into the air. It was very easy, almost like doing it with her hooves.

She tied the sheet around Goldie’s neck, keeping her pinned down with her hoof. Goldie struggled and attempted to plead for Topaz to spare her life. She wished she had a horn but all she had was wings. Wings.

Topaz grabbed one of Goldie’s wings and twisted as hard as possible, being rewarded with many cracks as the bones splintered and the joints cracks. Topaz moved it up and down, making sure each bone tore through the skin. Goldie would have screamed but the air trapped in her lungs made speaking impossible.

Topaz watched as Goldie’s face turned blue, her mouth sputtering as she tried desperately to bring air in. Topaz grinned and twisted the last wing, ripping it left and right, finally leaning down to bite the wing off.

Topaz moved to each leg, slowly cracking and bending it with her magic and hooves. Goldie’s eyes rolled up in pain and lack of air. However, before she could die Topaz undid the sheet around her neck, Goldie sucked in all the air she could her chest heaving hard.

Topaz pondered, “now will you leave me alone? Never bother me or anypony else.”
Goldie gulped, “I’ll run away. I’ll never hurt you or anypony again!” She moved her her legs, the pain causing her to collapse. She instead used her wings, but they were broken too. “I can’t move, help me.”

Topaz tsked, “guess we got to kill you.” Topaz paused, she never imagined that she’d kill anything! But with her father dead, her mother at work most of the time to pay for her crummy house, and the teasing from school, moral was low on her list of thing to hold on to. She grabbed Goldie’s mane and dragged her, out into the forest. Since it was still daytime she had to take the long way, where not many ponies would be.

She dragged out and left Goldie there, she knew Timberwolves would come along and enjoy a free meal. Topaz licked her lips and trotted out, leaving Goldie whimpering as she attempted, fruitlessly, to get up.

Topaz groaned, she had forgotten to give Goldie her saddle pack, she grabbed it and slammed it on the ground. She began kicking it. Suddenly, one of the things Goldie had stolen flew out. It was a bow, but the middle was large rhinestone. Topaz smiled, it was very pretty.

She felt a warm glow on her flank, followed by a flash of light. She looked at her flank to see HER CUTIE MARK. It was the same bow that she found on the ground. And if Goldie never stole it...Goldie is why she got her cutie mark. More specifically Topaz killing her! She decided from now on she’d kill anypony who hurt her like Goldie did to her.

Fifteen Years Later
A lot had changed in fifteen years, and she killed many ponies. The stallion who fired Ribbon from her job, the foals who teased Topaz, and many other ponies who never hurt her. Like she did back then, she lost sight of her morals.

However, she did hold on to one thing: Nopony gets to hurt anypony. As ironic as it was she held it near and dear to her heart. One night she was walking down the street, near the slums. She heard a faint whimper from the alley. Topaz narrowed her eyes and slowly made her way into the alley.

Her horn was enough to light up her surroundings. She was a gray pegasus with blonde mane and bubbles on her flank, the mare was hunched in a corner, covered in bruises and scrapes. Topaz gasped and rushed to her, the mare had grimy stains in her fur...and was that...blood.

“Derpy...Derpy was hurted,” the mare groaned.

Topaz harrumphed, “don’t worry, come home with me. It’s on Cadence Street.” She helped Derpy up, and held her against her shoulder, Topaz carried most of Derpy’s weight. She led Derpy to her house, it was smaller than the on her mother shared with her, but in a cozy way.

Topaz led Derpy into the bathtub, and carefully scrubbed away the grim. Next, Topaz applied ointment to Derpy’s cuts and scrapes and placed bandages over them. Derpy then relaxed in bed as Topaz made soup…

Topaz sighed, relaxed on the couch next to Derpy. Derpy was now sitting up and calmly drinking her soup. “So, what happened?”

Derpy frowned, tears forming in her crossed eyes. “Derpy was at the b-bar, and a stallion came up to me, a-and he tried to flirt with Derpy. Derpy tried to leave but he hit me. He said if Derpy tells anypony...he’ll….he’ll-”

“He’ll what,” Topaz asked. Derpy dropped her bowl of soup and hugged Topaz tightly. Derpy sobbed, tears wetting Topaz’s shoulder.

“Ooh, Derpy,” Topaz cooed. “You’re safe with me. Do you know how he looks?”

“He’s orange with brown manes, and he comes to the bar every night. Derpy don’t come every night, but he seems to always be there.”

“Good. Next time you go to the bar tell me, I’ll find him and make him pay for hurting you,” Topaz growled.

Derpy looked up, “what will you do?”

“Kill him….”