Sweetie Elizabeth Tailor Graham Hernandez Belle was in most aspects not a very bright pony. Her test answers are always kept as humorous reading material in the teacher’s lounge, and her I.Q. score had been considered to be the official 12’th wonder of the universe by many highly esteemed scholars and scientist. Other than academics her abilities at cooking, which astounded both professional cooks and scientist, was also something to be admired……. At a safe distance of at least five hundred feet that is. The filly had in the past demonstrated the ability to liquefy toast in a frying pan, burn juice in a blender, and even turn a simple task such as pouring milk on cereal into a massive cloud of toxic gas which to this day is still hanging over Manehattan.
On this particular day the young unicorn was hopping about Hornbrush way humming a rather catchy tune she had heard on her sister’s radio just that morning. She inhaled a deep breath of fresh air and looked on as a pack of Timberwolves chased Spike in circles alongside the Ponyville river. She opened her mouth to call out to him when her hoof made contact with a small shiny object lying on the ground, causing her to fall spectacularly on her face. Spitting out grass from her mouth Sweetie picked herself up and turned around to examine the object. Picking it up she noticed what appeared to be a small metal box. Curiously she flipped open the top and yelped in surprise as a small flame shot out. She dropped the device which landed on its side, the impact shutting the cover. Blinking in surprise, Sweetie Belle cautiously brought her face closer to the curious object and gave it a sniff, the smell of burning oil met her nostrils causing her to recoil. She then picked the object back up with her magic and once again opened the cover. The flame flickered back to life, but this time instead of dropping it in fright Sweetie Belle found herself fixated on the flame dancing before her emerald eyes. This was amazing whatever it was. The flame felt warm as she held it closer to her, the smell of burning oil suddenly became less repulsive as the fumes filled her nostrils and lungs.
Sweetie Belle was extremely happy with her new discovery, and she just knew the other ponies in Ponyville would love it too. Absentmindedly, she brought a hoof up and touched the edge of the flame, only to recoil back howling in pain as she dropped the object. Waving her hoof and sticking it in her mouth she watched as the small metal box bounced until it reached the trunk of a nearby tree, where upon hitting it the cover popped back open igniting the flame which immediately set fire to the base of the tree. Sweetie Belle sat down on her haunches and watched in amazement as the flames grew in intensity, quickly climbing up the trunk until the entire tree, leaves and all, were ablaze in scarlet light and thick black smoke. The filly’s eyes swelled with awe and wonder at the amazing sight before her. Her mind set, the young filly scooped up the object and turned around back toward Ponyville.
Once back in town Sweetie immediately set hoof toward her first target of the day, her sister’s Boutique shop. Of all the ponies she wanted to share this amazing discovery with Rarity was undoubtedly the first. However, upon reaching the elder sister’s shop she found the place empty save for a certain annoying cat which Sweetie wasted no time in giving a good solid kick down the stairs. Deciding to just leave her gift as a surprise for Rarity when she returned, Sweetie took out her new object, and processed to light then entire shop ablaze. Starting with Rarity’s curtains, followed by her wallpaper, Opalescence, and lastly her prize flower garden lining the entrance to her once beloved home. Pleased with her work the young filly left her sisters shop burning to the ground to find more houses the burn, after all she wanted to share this gift with EVERYPONY in Ponyville.
Her next few targets’ consisted of the Ponyville School House, Diamond Tiara’s mansion, Sugarcube Corner, Ponyville Library, the local theater, and Sweet Apple Acres. Sweetie Belle was just on her way to find something else to burn when she heard two familiar voices calling her name. Turning around she found her two best friends Apple Bloom and Scootaloo running towards her, looks of panic and confusion plastered on their faces.
“SWEETIE BELLE, SWEETIE BELLE, SOMEPONY IS LIGHTING THE ENTIRE TOWN ON FIRE!!!”
“I know, isn’t it great?” Sweetie Belle answered cheerfully.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged looks “Er, not really. Ah mean mah house kind of burned down along with all mah belongings and stuff. Heck so did yours’s and Rarity’s house!”
“Oh I don’t really LIVE with Rarity!” Sweetie Belle reminded her “I just stay there whenever Mom and Dad go on their bi-weekly vacation!”
Scootaloo then noticed the object Sweetie was holding in front of her “Hey what’s that?”
“Oh this? I found it by the lake a few hours ago, isn’t it cool?” Sweetie Belle removed the hatch reveling the flame and waving it in front of her fellow crusaders.
“Hey that’s a lighter isn’t it?” Apple Bloom asked before sudden realization struck her “Wait, YOU’RE THE ONE BURNING DOWN EVERY HOUSE IN PONYVILLE!!!”
“Yep! I found how watching things burn is really fun and I wanted to share it with everypony in Ponyville!” Sweetie replied completely oblivious to her wrongdoing.
“SWEETIE BELLE ARE YOU COMPLETELY NUTS???? YOUR DESTROYING THE ENTIRE TOWN!!!” Apple Bloom shrieked.
“GIVE IT HERE SWEETIE BELLE!!!” Scootaloo demanded making a lunge for the lighter.
“NO IT’S MINE!!!” Sweetie Belle responded quickly moving it away with her magic.
“GIVE IT TO US NOW!!!” Apple Bloom demanded joining the fray as the three fillies fought for the lighter. Sweetie Belle made a desperate move to escape by using her magic to force her two friends off of her. Of course the spell meant her magic holding the lighter was dispelled causing it to fall. Apple Bloom attempted to make a grab for it but instead ended up knocking it high into the air. The three crusaders followed the arc of the lighter as it flew several feet into the air until finally coming to rest, it’s hatch still open and flame still flickering……………. Right into the window of a newly opened fireworks shop.
“…………Aw horse Apples!!!”
Meanwhile in Canterlot Princess Luna was calming sipping her tea while playing on her Neightendo DS. Princess Celestia had been called out of town and she had left Luna in charge of the day’s royal activities, which luckily for Luna had so far comprised of sitting on her arse eating potato chips and playing her favorite video games. That is until one of Celestia’s royal guards stormed into the throne room in a panic.
“YOUR HIGHNESS, THE ENTIRE TOWN OF PONYVILLE IS ON FIRE!!!”
Luna didn’t even bother looking up from her game “So?”
The guard gave her a confused look “So…...What are your orders your highness?”
“Well I could use another refill on my Diet Coke-Float!”
“I meant about the fire your highness?” The guard corrected.
“That’s Ponyville’s problem, not mine!” Luna waved a hoof dismissively.
“But your highness, as Princess it is your job to serve and protect your subjects!”
“Did I not serve some of the most kick ass salsa at our last grand galloping gala?” Luna asked.
“That’s not what I meant your highness, I mean there are pony’s down in Ponyville in dire trouble who require your assistance!!”
“I don’t care!” Luna retorted accepting another Diet Coke-Float from one of her personal servants.
“The entire town will burn to the ground if help does not arrive!” The guard pleaded.
“I don’t care!
“Hundreds of ponies will be burned alive, including innocent woman and children!”
“I don’t care!”
“An angry mob will probably form once word of this gets out and storm the castle in retaliation!”
“I don’t care!”
“You and your sister will be dragged onto the streets and probably be burned at the stake!”
“I don’t care!”
And the new video game store that was supposed to deliver your new Neighstation seven will also burn along with all its stock meaning you will have to wait an entire year before being able to order!”
“WHAT??!!!!!” The Princess of the night sprang to her hooves, a look of mixed shock and anger plastered all over her face “ASSEMBLE THE ROYAL GUARD, SEND EVERY POSSIBLE MEDICAL AND TRAINED FIRE FIGHTER WE HAVE DOWN TO PONYVILLE IMMEDIATELY, I WANT ALL HOOVES ON DECK AND READY OF ACTION IN NO LATER THEN FIVE MINUTES!!! DISMISSED!!” With that Luna took her leave smashing thru the one of Celestia’s prize stained glass windows spraying glass all over the floor.
The guard sighed “I REALLY wish she would just use the door for once….”
