Author's Note
Done in two hours for dialogue practice.
Interracial
“I don’t know how you do it, man.”
Crispy Fold pulled away from his drink and stared at John across the cafe table. “What do you mean?”
“You know, find a mare, date her… that kind of stuff?”
The stallion sat up a little taller and focused on his human friend. “What’s your problem? Having trouble finding the one?”
“No, I mean, there’s a bunch of nice looking mares around, but it’s just… it’s just…” John trailed off, his hand searching for answers in the air.
“It’s just what?”
John let out a deep breath. “They’re ponies.”
Crispy scoffed. “Yeah, so? I’m a pony.”
“Well, I mean yeah.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I don’t know…” John scratched at the back of his neck and stared down at his half-finished salad. “You guys are just too cute to date, I guess…”
Crispy looked confused. “How does dating work from where you’re from? Don’t you date cute mares?”
“I mean yeah, but…”
“So why doesn’t that apply here?”
John was getting a little worked up. “Well, you’re just… you’re ponies!” He threw his arms wide. “You’re half my size, you got big eyes and horse lips—”
“Don’t call us horses.” Crispy stated hotly.
“Sorry, sorry.” John sighed. “Ponies. Ponies and humans should not mix. That’s my thinking.”
“What’s wrong with mixing?”
John was taken aback. “Huh?”
“You know what I mean,” Crispy began, “ponies mix with other species all the time. Minotaurs, Saddle Arabians, even Yaks. So, is that your problem? That you’re human and that we’re ponies?”
John groaned and put his face in his hands. “It’s hard to explain.”
“I don’t think it’s hard to explain at all. It’s just…” Crispy paused. “I just don’t know what exactly your problem is with us. There’s nothing wrong with the ponies here, right? I mean you said you liked cute mares, and there’s plenty to go around. It’s… what’s your problem?”
John mumbled into his hands, “I said it already, you’re ponies.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
The human lifted his face out of his hands. “It has to do with a lot, actually. I come from a planet where there’s no other sentient beings but humans, you know?”
Crispy nodded slowly. “I mean, I don’t understand it completely, but I guess I can see your point.” He directed a tan hoof at John. “But that still doesn’t excuse the fact that you don’t want to date a pony! Just because it’s not the norm back where you come from, doesn’t mean it’s weird here.”
“I do want to date a pony, Crispy. But, you gotta understand… it is weird.”
The earth pony stallion still couldn’t see John’s point. “How’s it weird? That you’re human, and she’s a pony—he’s a pony?” Crispy Fold eyed his friend warily. “You aren’t gay, are you John?”
“What? Dude!” John’s cheeks flushed. “I’m not gay!”
“Psh, whatever dude.” Crispy smirked. “You’re totally blushing.”
“Dude! Just… urgh, shut up. Be serious.”
“You see this face?” Crispy pointed at his face. “This is my serious face.”
John frowned. “You’re not taking this seriously.”
“No, no I am.” Crispy sighed. “Okay, you want to date a mare, but it’s weird for you.”
“I just don’t feel comfortable—”
“Would you date me? We’re comfortable friends, right?”
“You’re a dude,” John stated flatly.
Crispy Fold gave him a sheepish grin. “Right, yeah, sorry. Bad question.”
“Huh.” John leaned in with a beaming smile. “Maybe you’re gay.”
“I have a marefriend, dude! I—” the stallion pointed an accusatory hoof at John “—don’t get me involved in this!” Huffing, Crispy settled back down. “Celestia forbid, you’re gay enough.”
John snorted. “Don’t pray to your god or whatever. I’m pretty sure that’s disrespectful.”
“She’s not a god. She’s a princess.” Crispy waved a hoof dismissively. “Getting off topic. We’re getting off topic.”
John leant back. “Right, right.”
The pair collected their thoughts for a moment.
“So…” Crispy began. “You want to date a mare… but you don’t want to date a mare.”
“Yes, but—”
“What, what—” Crispy stumbled over his words “—what kind of logic does that make?”
“I know it sounds stupid, but I just can’t explain it right.”
“John, it’s not hard or weird to date a mare, especially for a guy like you.” Crispy went on before John could interrupt him. “I mean, look, here comes Rose now. Just ask her out; she’ll bite immediately.”
The human pulled back. “Dude, are you kidding me?! I can't just—!”
“Hey Roseluck!” Crispy waved the mare over to their table at the Clover Cafe. “How’re you doing?”
The perky little earth pony walked the short distance to the table. “I’m doing fine, Crispy. Thanks for asking.” She gave a pleasant smile to John. “Hi John.”
John managed a nod. Barely.
“So,” Rose turned to Crispy, “how have you been doing, Crispy?”
“Same old, same old. Just been shooting the breeze with John here.”
Rose hummed and smiled between the two. “I see… well! I have to head back to the flower shop; my lunch break’s over.” The cream colored mare turned to leave, but then looked to John. “You’ll be around to fix my sign this afternoon, right John?”
John sat up on his hay bale and nodded eagerly. “Yeah, of course!”
“Okay, thanks! You two enjoy your lunch now!”
“Will do!” Crispy gave a mock salute.
Giggling, Rose sent a wink John’s way and left the outdoor dining area.
“Dude! Did you see that? She’s totally got the hots for you!”
And they were right back to their conversation.
With a heavy groan, John slammed his head into the soft mushroom-wood table “Why am I even talking to you about this? This is stupid.”
“Open your eyes, John. You’re living in a world of ponies, griffons, dragons, a lot of creatures and peoples here, and you’re saying you won’t date one of them because they’re not the same species?” Crispy scrutinized his friend. “Do you realize how messed up that sounds?”
“Yeah…” John muttered guiltily as he raised his head from the table.
“Then why aren’t you just… accepting it?” Crispy took a sip of his drink. “You’ve been here a good while now, what is it, a year?”
“Yeah, six months since I moved to Ponyville.”
“Then why haven’t you asked a mare out yet? You clearly want to.” Crispy sighed. “Listen, nobody’s going to judge your relationships—”
“That’s not the problem,” John cut off, “I just find it weird dating someone outside my species."
“Well… I think you’re gonna need to get over that if you ever want to date somepony.”
John opened his mouth to speak, but instead clamped his mouth shut and nodded dejectedly. “You’re right.”
“Alright, just—just think of it this way. Think of Rose, look, she’s walking away right now; you could ask her out. Think of her as a human mare—”
“Girl.”
“—right, girl.” Crispy took a breath. “Think of her as a human… girl. She’s cute, she’s nice to you, she’s obviously got a thing for you, and you’re not gonna date her because she’s not the same as you? She’s not the same kind of… pony you are?”
“I see your point, but I’m still just… uncomfortable.”
Crispy groaned. “Well if you’re gonna think that way, then you’re just… you’re just a lost cause.” The stallion’s ears flopped down against his head. “I’m sorry to say it, but you’re going to need to change.”
John sighed. “See, this is why I didn’t want to talk to you…”
“Look, have you ever dated anypony?”
“Well, no. I didn’t really see a point to it, but it’s been a while now, and I guess I’m getting lonely from the lack of other people like me…”
“What are you talking about?”
John blinked. “Excuse me?”
“There are ponies here, and you’re gonna imply they’re not people?”
John rubbed his face with a suppressed moan. “No, no, that’s not what I meant.”
Crispy crossed his hooves. “Well, that sure is what it sounded like.”
John shook his head. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m being stupid about this.”
The two lapsed into an uneasy silence.
“You know what?” John stood. “I’ll try dating anyway. I just don’t know how I’m gonna do it.”
Crispy visibly brightened. “I’ll set up a double date!”
John laughed. “A double date? Really?”
“Pft, laughed the one with no dating experience.”
“Yeah yeah… Hmm.” John scratched at his chin. “Yeah, hook me up I guess.”
“Listen,” Crispy stood up as well, “there’s nothing wrong with dating a griffon, a pony, a dragon, whatever. Nothing wrong at all. You could date a hydra for all anypony cares! It doesn’t matter. As long as you two like each other in some way—” the stallion grinned “—anything could happen. You don’t have to dismiss an entire relationship because they’re a different species; that makes you a xenophobe, John.”
John grunted and downed the rest of his drink. “Why are you still going on about this?”
“I don’t think you’ve entirely agreed to it yourself. You’re... you’re still hesitant.”
John snorted. “Am I really that open?”
“Uh, yeah! Your emotions are really out there.” Smiling, Crispy shook his head slowly. “You really are a pony, you know?”
Stretching lazily, John took a breath and looked over the bustling hamlet's streets. “I suppose I am.”
Crispy dug a few bits out of his saddlebag and placed it on the table. "Come on." The stallion stood, smiling. “Let’s go get ready for our dates tonight.”
John frowned. “And how are you gonna find me a mare before tonight?”
“Oh, don’t worry.” Crispy glanced towards Rose as he and his tall friend walked away from the outdoor cafe. “There’s a pony out there for you.”
